The DC: August 2008 Archives

FeatureStory.jpgI am all over the 'net today, in a MetroWeekly feature article about bloggers in DC. They even linked to an article about the Blogjam open mike prose reading event we had in 2004. Good times, we should do it again.

Anyhow, go grab a copy of MW from the stands today (I'm glad they didn't use my photo on the cover). Other bloggers featured in the article include:
Lara Varlas and Ben Carver of The New Gay
Terrance Heath of The Republic of T
John Aravosis of Americablog
Andrew Sullivan of The Daily Dish
Mike Rogers of Blogactive

TJ also writes about the new fruity rating system for exotic produce, based on a rating of 1 to 4 jimbos. Is it because I'm so sweet, or so bitter?

Yesterday I discovered another holocaust out in the pond. The other day the water spontaneously emptied itself, but I suspect foul play. Then we filled it up, then somebody got into it again, as the plants and pump were all discombobulated when I got home from work. I suspect it's kids again, now that school has started they stop by Lake Shaw to try to catch fish with dixie cups and chopsticks. Two goldfish and all the guppies died in the upset. I even found dead baby goldfish, as the adults must have spawned in the spring - life springs anew only to be struck down by ghetto-ass punks. I think I'm gonna give up on the thing, as we are clearly not allowed to have nice things in Shaw due to frequent barbarian incursion.

To add to my sour mood, I discovered my cowboy boots which I rarely wear were completely covered in a layer of mold. They were back in the closet which is basically the crawlspace in my moldy basement unit.

I'm not completely convinced my tiny basement that is infested with mold and vermin, with a cheap Home Depot EZ-Bake Oven, and an air conditioning unit that sucks greasy oven exhaust from the upstairs kitchen into my unit is worth $1,000/month. Sadly, I signed a 1 year lease so I'm here for a while, but will seriously consider buying my own place once June comes around again. I realized a while ago that I was caring for the place with an effort that would equal work I would spend on my own place, so I might as well dive in and buy my own place once and for all.

Anyway, I'm off to the beach today, so the barbarians, mold spores an other vermin can piss off.

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Sometimes - if you're lucky - you can see the Wondrous Dancing Fountains of Shaw at the intersection of 7th, Rhode Island and R Streets, NW DC. The geysers of fresh water have been a local phenomenon ever since the former Watha T. Daniels Library was torn down.
The Wondrous Dancing Fountains of Shaw
They spout up at random times through the little holes in the manhole covers, often to a height of 4' or more!

I call them 'Wondrous' because they make me wonder why there is fresh water coursing at such a rate, why no one has plugged it, and how much money and water is wasted by the Wondrous Dancing Fountains of Shaw. While I love my public fountains, this one is fed by a steady flow of fresh water, not recycled water. It is a waste of valuable water and money.

Anyway, here's a photo taken by Ed at the beginning of the Bingham Cup tournament in Dublin. So far this is the only photo of me from the tournament that I have ever seen. I somehow evaded the camera throughout the entire tournament. I'm so like a lady in this photo:
so like a lady
The menacing (looking) guy on the right is Pat. He makes pretty pictures and was our rugby mom throughout the tournament. Thanks Pat!

I will be heading south for the Labor Day weekend to Kiawah Island with Skip the Evil Veterinarian and his sidekick Harley the Malicious Mapmaker. I hope to take more pictures of alligators and see some new bird species. It will be another nice getaway from DC.

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Starting an evening with two cosmos at Duplex is always a guarantee for a wild evening followed by a rough morning. I got to hang out with Joe.My.God, who was in town for the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association national convention here in DC. Later on we went to a party hosted by Mike Rogers of BlogActive fame, where I got to meet Michelangelo Signorile who brought the gun show to the party (he's totally stacked - wooof).

In addition to a hangover, I came away from the gathering with the awareness that the idea of a "blog" is now mostly attributed to political or punditry blogs, and that ye olde personale journale bloge is a subset of the category, not the other way around like it used to be back in tha day. It doesn't bother me, it's just a sign of the times. Most of the political bloggers didn't know who I was, and I described my blog as one that "provides thousands of hours for government and office workers to goof off in their spare time." I just don't get that whipped up about politics most of the time, and this blog serves mostly as a way to record my thoughts about things as I have a bad memory. Some day I want to take the personal part of this blog and put it to print, just in case the electromagnetic pulse bomb goes off over North America and wipes everybody's hard drive clean.

I roused myself outta bed on Saturday for another photoshoot, as I am willing to get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day. For what I will not say, but I'm sure you'll read about it later. Then I headed over to RFK Memorial Stadium to help out with a team fundraiser. I'm not sure we hauled in a lot of money, but we did recruit a lot of cuties I hope will show up later.
Rugby practice has begun, and with it those first few weeks of aching pain that comes with the callousment of the muscles and bone structure. That ache eventually goes away as I become more brain damaged while the season progresses. Even though I got hit in the ribs and had my right hand stomped on by a cleated boot, I'm fine now. Sometimes I think I'm like Claire the cheerleader from Heroes, but I probably shouldn't say that out loud too much or I'll really get it some day.

A process engineer's schematic for determining the answer to the question: why do we scream at each other?
Doves cry
John McCain Campaign Takes a +3 Vorpal Blade to Dungeons & Dragons Players

Tonight at D&D Mark sowed the greatest amount of chaos a gamer has ever produced during a gaming session I've led. Sure, he was role playing being posessed by an ancient evil, but alerting an entire keep of monsters right when the party was trying to sneak in sure made for a lot of paperwork by the dungeon master (moi). He pushed one of the halflings off the keep wall, landed in the courtyard and then screamed bloody murder with the intent of alerting the entire compound. It worked (for him), but my head almost exploded, as the keep's ogre sergeant and bad girl half-elf sorceress all came out fully prepared for invasion. Somehow they managed to pull it off, but they went through the adventure the wrong way, as they always do.

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Olympics roundup: fur from Russia, synchronized swimming this Saturday - with inspiration from "O," and a pole vault primer.

"Wisconsin Style" pizzaI can't believe women's softball lost to Japan! That's a whole lot of depressed lesbians.

This weekend on the way back from the beach via Manhattan, we went for a quick bite to eat at an Irish (I couldn't get enough) pub near Penn Station. There on the menu was an option for individual-sized "Wisconsin Style" pizza. I had no idea what that was so I ordered one and asked the waitress what the hell that means. She came back telling me it was a square pizza with a thin crust cut in squares as opposed to slices. I had no idea it was a distinctive culinary style. Just like Pizza Corral back home I guess.

French-fry eating Great Lakes gulls accumulating trans fats. Joe.My.God suggests more donuts for the birds.

This Saturday don't miss Bird Flu Horror, another classic SciFi Original move at 9pm, where mutant killer birds carrying a deadly virus attack a group of hikers on a wilderness trek.

Not a mutant, the Hay's Spring amphipod (Stygobromus hayi) is an endangered species of shrimp-like critters that live only in the springs in and around Rock Creek Park near the National Zoo. Other endangered DC critters include Kenk's amphipod (Stygobromus kenki) in local springs, and a small social unit of endangered bonobos usually found playing trivia at Nellie's Sports Bar on Wednesday nights.

An article about a DC I have yet to experience, and hope I never will. It's mostly about douche bags and those who think they have their finger on the pulse of power who tend to not last very long in this town.

A far more practical article about where to go when the zombie apocalypse comes. Where would you go to stay safe in DC in the event of a zombie outbreak?

50 Years of Heartburn, XXOO from Ben's Chili Bowl.

Fur from Los Angeles: the Yeti Menace, a blog. He plays rugby with the L.A. Rebellion team.

A movie featuring my future husbands Paul Rudd and Sean William Scott in the same film, and a movie about rugby featuring that one guy from Rudy and Lord of the Rings.

An Old Skool blogger from back in tha day is writing again. Go check out Dogpoet. His recent entry about a drunken drag queen in his bar was priceless:

...sometime around eight o’clock, she raises her hand again and cries out, “MADONNA!!” in a voice that overpowers the house music. It sounds like both a frustrated demand and a cry of victory, as if confirming the singer’s unassailable power over our lives. The customers look at her with a mixture of humor, disgust, and pity.
I love the mountains, I love the deep blue sky, I love the ocean, I love great whites that fly. I Love the World, an endearing Discovery Channel advert.

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Jimbo will be away for the next 5 days or so. In the mean time, you can get your can down to Omega this Saturday for the Madonna CD release party featuring the 2nd single from Hard Candy by MadonnaMadonnaMadonna. With crafty videos from VJ Tre, and music by special guest DJ Darryl Strickland. It'll be at Omega DC, 2122 P Street NW (Rear! Tee hee...), WDC 20037.
Omega Flyer
My goals for emaciation at Fire Island were shattered when Sean made a plate of brownies which I promptly inhaled. Now I'm a Bear. Luckily there'll be a Summer Snaxx while we're there, so I'll fit in with my brownie belly.

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We've been enjoying freakishly glorious August weather here in DC lately, with temperatures in the 80s with little to no humidity, which was great for walking the length of the National Mall.
WWII Memorial
I tried to show Kieran the Dubliner that awful space age architecture at L'Enfant Plaza, but I couldn't find it. Instead we found the Benjamin Banneker Memorial and fountain instead.
Benjamin Banneker Memorial
This sea creature from the Library of Congress Court of Neptune Fountain reminded me of the critter in the pool that tried to eat Simon LeBon in the Duran Duran 'Wild Boys' video.
Library of Congress: Court of Neptune Fountain
There's always something new at the U.S. Botanic Gardens, and we stumbled over a pretty fountain sculpture.
U.S. Botanic Gardens
It was a good weekend for touring the city.

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Go check out Joe Tresh's Washington Photo Journal for a Bear Invasion 2008 photo roundup.

And what does it take to round up a Bear? Nachos, apparently, according to Dogpoet.

While I did not partake in any Bear trapping expeditions, I had my hands full touring the Dubliner around town. It is good to get a new perspective on the city you live in through the eyes of a visitor. Kieran kept mentioning how much DC resembles Paris, and how green and well-gardened it is. He also mentioned that my last name has French roots, confirming something my mother mentioned as well. I was horrified to find out I have French ancestors via Ireland

Anyway, on Saturday we did the eastern half of the National Mall on a pedestrian deathmarch, including a visit to Mr. Henry's and Eastern Market. That evening we went to Nellie's and then rushed over to Town before the line got too long to groove it to Tony Moran. The crowd was hawt but generally hairless, with me and my posse keepin' it real and furry in one corner. It would have been totally fun if it wasn't for my horrible, mean, bitchy friends making jokes that me and Kieran's children would be "lepertrolls" or "trollechauns" - crossbreed children of troll and leprechaun parentage. Nasty Dungeons & Dragons bitches!

On Sunday we biked up the C&O (Chesapeake & Ohio) Canal towpath and bike trail, with a stop at a narrow point in the river for a lovely picinic as young osprey circled the falls.

At the end of this week I'll be going to Fire Island for a long weekend with the Dubliner, Skwurl, Darth Jersey and their unfortunate partners. I have only four days to become completely emaciated and hairless so I don't get judged by those New York bitches on that sand bar. I've been skipping all my meals and throwing up once each hour, with phone support from the U.S. Women's Gymnastics team on how to best maintain optimal body dysmorphia until the end of the week.

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Oooh, auspicious: 08.08.2008. I'm lookin' forward to watching the Olympics over the next couple of weeks. I do buy into the hype and love all that brotherhood of man through athletics and all that.

While Brett Favre reserves the right to change his mind after retirement, joining the New York Jets is unforgivable. Brett, I am so over you.

But I'm impressed TJ had the attention span to look up how you pronounce his must have taken TJ an excruciating minute of concentration to learn how to say "FAR-v." Good TJ. You get 10 more minutes of television/cell/laptop/blender (simultaneously) play before it's bedtime. I swear - one day scientists are gonna find that the gene for bottomhood is right next to the gene that causes A.D.D.

"OMG are you in yet? What time is it? Who's that on TV? What? OMG Kathy Griffin. Diet Coke. Idaho. Is the water bill paid yet? Chia Pet."

This weekend I am hosting the Dubliner who was so gracious to host me after the tournament in June. He's really hot and smart and uncomplicated, so I have to keep him away from the open (but "discreet") partnered gays, Bonobos, Bears, and I certainly won't take him to the shark tanks the gays like to frequent. We might go tubing on the upper Potomac, or head out the Montgomery County Fair, whatever we have time to do.

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Heat, accursed heat.
My undergarments are wet,
not in a good way.

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