Jimbo.Info

October 18, 2007

women are indeed allowed in the saliva pit

Last night the little spot in my head flared up where I got multiple sinus infections in college while I was taking scuba class. As I ascended up the water column during a test while my sinuses were clogged, something burst and I bled profusely through my nose. (You shouldn't go scuba diving with a sinus infection, fyi) From then on it always hurts a little when the air pressure is changing quickly, so I expect some rain to come through soon. Hopefully it won't dissipate into humidity and dust like all the precipitation has this fall.

Trick-or-Peeps!

This week in my favorite new advice column Ask Bob: women not allowed at Blowoff?!? Horsefeathers! I mean, at the last Blowoff there were a buncha lesbians monitoring fluid exchange in the Saliva Pit. I had no problem with it and they seemed to be enjoying themselves too. There's fun for everyone there - Saturday, Oct. 20, at the 9:30 Club.

Dammit, Chaka-Kahn is supposed to be performing at H2O in town for Howard University Homecoming, and A Year With Frog and Toad (my favorite gay couple) will be at the Strathmore. But tonight is the last practice before a very important match on Saturday, and I need to desperately grasp on to the last remnants of my masculinity the best I can, so I need to be at practice. Anyway, we're top-ranked in our division in the local union, which is very exciting because we've had some really challenging years, with some matches where we did not score a point, or others where we got up to a hundred points scored against us. These days we're not only competitive, but we're winning. The match will be at an idyllic farm in Poolesville, and I hope to get some photos.

I will be going to see Annie Lennox next week with the same bunch with whom I saw Emily, Amy, and Cyndi . It's kind of wierd how all the same artist's names end in the diminutive case. Annie better frikkin' sing because the ticket was a pretty penny.

In order to remain completely superficial and continue to degrade myself by constantly putting physical beauty on a pedistal, here is a random picture of some hot guy with a gun:

No, I don't know him and I can't remember where I found the pic and I can't refer him to you.

Happy thoughts - happy, rainier times in Homer, Alaska at the end of the rainbow:

I worked there in 1993, and visited again a few years ago when the photo was taken.

Posted by jimbo at 12:14 PM | Comments (8)

October 15, 2007

2007-2008 Ben Cohen calendar now available

The 2007-2008 Ben Cohen calendar - a wonderful gift idea for your friend who plays rugby who also loves cute scruffy furry-chested rugby players.

Commentary on yesterday's entry centered mainly on the heated debate about how to properly prepare apple pie filling, which has nothing to do with Ben Cohen but I found it amusing.

Download weekly cooking podcasts at The Splendid Table from American Public Media.

Posted by jimbo at 12:32 PM | Comments (10)

October 11, 2007

gotta be tuff with the scruff

Goddammit: Buffy the Vampire Slayer sing-a-longs cancelled by Fox.

...Fox has pulled the license for ALL their TV shows from theatrical exhibition. This is effective immediately, and of course includes Buffy and “Once More With Feeling”.

From the ShawNeighborhood listserv:

I just heard what sounded like 10 gunshots somewhere north of where I am (6th &P NW )at about 2:55 pm, followed by lots of sirens- sounds like police sirens as well as fire engines and or ambulances. Anyone have any information?

Clearly, it was the 12th-Annual Shaw Skeet Shooting Tournament sponsored by the North Capitol Rod-and-Gun Club of Washington, DC. Fish fry to follow and there'll also be live entertainment (polka band!) under the beer tent. See you there.

Oh wait, I thought I was in Wisconsin.

"Gotta be tough with the scruff": MANtage by Barats and Bareta:

Cute with Chris has nice scruff today.

Not scruffy, but nice flattop - Brandon Stokley (Denver Post / Portrait by Cyrus McCrimmon):

The Broncos interviews: Brandon Stokley, by Mike Klis, Denver Post Staff Writer.

Kinda reminds me of Howie Long back in tha day:

Redskins vs. the Packers this weekend at Lambeau steppe. It will be a no-brainer. Scruff will prevail:

Posted by jimbo at 9:50 PM | Comments (5)

October 4, 2007

OMG O.N-J has a new X-Mas album

Try to check out the new ABC television show 'Pushing Daisies' - it's a sassy, smart whodunit with a supernatural twist. It was great fun to watch with a knockout cast, featuring Emerson Cod (Boston Public), Swoosie Kurtz (Broadway, everything else) and Ellen Greene (Little Shop of Horrors, Heroes). It is promise of a clever future in television programming so catch it now before it's cancelled.

Heroes, on the other hand, suxed donkey dix last night - the only interesting part was watching Claire experiment with her powers by scissoring off her pinky toe. As for the rest of the storyline or characters, I didn't care that much. It must have been a filler episode, hopefully to prepare us for a more exciting future episode.

There was another critter incursion into the pond last night, but this time Sean said he witnessed hearing some creature "splashing around" in there when he came home from work, but was unwilling to investigate further into the matter. I asked him if it was human-sized, and he at least confirmed that it was not so big, more like the size of a breadbox. How do I stop a raccoon or possum from doing what they do?

John got Spice Girls tickets for their show in L.A. The Spice Girls are not coming to DC. I'm sending out my unit of pink special forces ninja assassins to slay John and retrieve the tickets for me.

Olivia Newton-John will be releasing a new Christmas CD, available November 1st at Target. Between O.N-J, Chaka-Kahn and Annie Lennox, it's hard to keep up with our divas these days. Thanks to Daniel for the tip. You can download your own O.N-J Xanadu desktop wallpaper from Daniel's collection here. Full track list from the album after the break.

Rough trade pic posted because I liked it. Note the subtle curl of fur at the collar.

O COME ALL YE FAITHFULL
ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH
EVERYTIME IT SNOWS
AWAY IN A MANGER
WE THERE KINGS
ANGLES WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH
A MOTHER'S CHRISTMAS WISH ( Featuring Jim Brickman )
JESU, JOY OF MAN'S DESIRING
ANGELS IN THE SNOW
WHAT A CHILD IS THIS
SILENT NIGHT ( Featuring Jann Aren )
O COME, O COME EMMANUEL
ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT ( Featuring Michael McDonald )
LITTLE DRUMMER BOY
UNDERNEATH THE SAME SKY
O CHRISTMAS TREE
LITTLE STAR OF BETHLEHEM
DECK THE HALLS
INSTRUMENT OF PEACE ( Featuring Marc Jordan )
WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS
CHRISTMAS ON MY RADIO
A GIFT OF LOVE ( Featuring Barry Manilow )

Posted by jimbo at 11:06 AM | Comments (19)

October 2, 2007

is your hose long enough?

Damn, the rugby pitch was dusty tonight - I blew out a mess of grey snot when I got home. We need a nice tropical system to sit its soggy ass on the region for a few days of rain. There's even been a fall streetbox arborculture alert from the Shaw Neighborhood Listserv:

As our trees go into winter dormancy, it is critical that they are well irrigated before the leaves fall off this fall. Otherwise, they will probably not leaf out in the spring and the trees will die. PLEASE WATER YOUR TREES WITH 20 GALLONS OF WATER (ONE FULL GATORBAG) ONCE A WEEK FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS - THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL TO HELP ENSURE THEIR SURVIVAL THROUGH THE WINTER. If your neighbors are away and your hose is long enough, please water their trees as well.

Is your hose long enough? Please check and water as suggested.

I missed the neighborhood ECCA meeting on Monday, but apparently according to some of my readers' comments the other day my time was better spent in my boring Statistical Methods lecutre: Homophobic ECCA Pres. & Board Mock Gay Citizen. Apparently the board is run under unctuous circumstances. And not only are public computers mysteriously missing, laptops are not allowed at the meetings! I know people can be obnoxious with cell phones and BlackBerrys, but go to any modern classroom or meeting and you'll find them everywhere.
ECCA: Keeping Shaw in the Dark Ages.

Simple Rules for Peaceful City Living by DurbanBud. This morning I was almost run over by a truck who did not yield to the pedestrian with the right of way. Every day I am reminded that I'm far more likely to die in a car accident than being shot in Shaw. It's kind of a comforting thought I guess.

Superhero presidential candidate casting call, written by someone well-versed in both comic hero histories and candidates. My favorite was Al Gore as Galactus: lurking out there somewhere, feeds off the destruction of the planet to maintain his massive girth.

From BooBob - brand new Seann Scott scruffage from the film SouthlandTales:

Perhaps Seann William Scott could be assigned to foot patrol in Shaw. That would be very nice.

Posted by jimbo at 10:49 PM | Comments (10)

September 27, 2007

it's marketing thursday!

What if the sea threw the garbage back at us? A neat Smirnoff advertisement on Coolz0r, a blog about neat marketing stuff.

And from fellow scruff-obsessed Otterdoc, some weird French ad featuring ever-scrufftastic Seann William Scott staring down a lion:

OMG Duran Duran’s RED CARPET MASSACRE on Broadway at New York’s Barrymore Theatre on 47th Street, November 1 – 12, 2007. I may need to go to offset going to see Megadeth this Sunday at the 9:30 Club.

Posted by jimbo at 1:07 PM | Comments (3)

September 26, 2007

back from the beach

First off, I thinned out my water garden iris in the pond. Soaking up the previous cesspool nutrients has been good to them this summer. If you have an aquatic garden with lots of sun, and space for a pot about the size of a KFC bucket, this iris could be yours! Contact me if you meet the prerequisites and we can talk about when you can come pick up the extra iris.

Have you downloaded the new Duran Duran single 'Falling Down' yet? It sounds nice. Simon hasn't lost his voice, that's for sure.

I'm back from the beach with Delicate Flower, Clay and Martini Gurlatalova. The weather was cooperative and it was a nice getaway. Here's a few more photos:

Everyone brought their dogs:

Lemme tell ya children: the secret to eternal youth is to avoid excessive drinking, smoking and sun. There are a lot of beach residents with that leathery look that I should avoid since I tend to stay out of the sun when I can.

I managed to do some birdwatching and took photos here and there:

Lawrence Bruno Nero Dallaglio was not at the beach. I just thought this photo was hot:

I loves my ornery Dadtastic English ruggers. However, I haven't been watching much of the Rugby World Cup lately.

The black eye sure was a conversation starter at the beach. People normally don't approach me in public otherwise. Ironically the meaner, black-eyed look somehow allows a conversational 'in' that people would not consider otherwise. No complaints here. I'll have to get beat up more often.

Posted by jimbo at 8:14 AM | Comments (5)

September 21, 2007

The Saliva Pit is OVER!

OMG The Saliva Pit at Blowoff is OVER since it was mentioned in this week's print edition of MetroWeekly's Hearsay column. HearSay has a blog now, fyi.

The feature story 'Where to Live' about living in The Domestic District makes no mention of Shaw! I'm hurt...grab a lead pencil and write a bit about the lead flying through the air around here...perhaps it might sound something like this:

A walk along Q Street, NW, going east towards New Jersey Avenue will take you past several not-so-haunted houses, and you're sure to have an interesting chat with the gregarious cluster of young men always orbiting around the corner of 5th and Q. Be sure to say hi! They'll say something back at you, most assuredly. If you're a microbrew fan, try to test your knowledge of malt liquor brands littering the curbs as you peruse the bucolic dwellings on the sycamore-lined street.

There's a new bad boy music venue at Titan's Ramrod this Sunday night:

Sunday September 23, 2007. 3-7 PM
$5.00 Cover Includes 1st Drink Free
$2.00 Domestic Drafts
$2.00 Smirnoff Flavors
Free Clothes Check
@ 1337 14th Street NW
Track list by Mr. Mixtake online here.

The identity of an American mummy found buried in an iron coffin in Columbia Heights has been determined.

I got elbowed in the face tonight...those damn new rugby kids and their flailing elbows...

I'm going to have a black eye at the beach this weekend! It could go in my favor depending on where I go...

Posted by jimbo at 12:16 AM | Comments (7)

September 6, 2007

The Nines

Movie still of Ryan Reynolds from the film The Nines.


The Nines consists of three short films, each featuring the same actors in different — and sometimes overlapping — roles.

Thanks to boobob for the link. I think I might want to see that film.

Posted by jimbo at 2:33 PM | Comments (6)

September 4, 2007

Jedi Bear Throwdown

DC vs. Baltimore in the Jedi throwdown of the century!

More here, from Jeff's blog, originally by Ruphus.

Betty White is sick of your shit:

Want to see something really gross? Check out how to remove botfly larva from your back. Not for the squeamish or easily nightmared. I couldn't even watch it 1/8 of the way through. I've read naturalist's accounts of similar removals - it's probably where the author of Alien got his inspiration.

Posted by jimbo at 4:48 PM | Comments (13)

August 8, 2007

'W' is for Wednesday

Walker:

Woof.

Wiggum:

Wonderful.

Wet:

Wow.

Wildenstein:

Wild!

Wildenstein photo courtesey of (c) Ann-Eve Grace Cunningham .

Posted by jimbo at 9:53 AM | Comments (13)

July 31, 2007

Declaration of Rugby Dependence

OK bitches: time for you to come out of the woodwork. Rugby is starting up again for a packed fall season, and the more who join the team, the better the practices, and the more we win. Plus, where the 'mos at?

While my team started out as mostly-gay, one day we realized that there are only so many 'mos who are willing to play rugby in one city. So we expanded our recruitment efforts throughout the 'hood to get more players. But I've noticed a drop in the number of homo teammates this season. Just an FYI: we are still accepting people who are new to the sport or those with skills transferrable from other sports. Tonight we had a former football player and a former college cheerleader. Both guys have a lot to learn, but they both have unique insight that they can bring to the team. So do you.

The team dynamics have changed over the years, and the emphasis has focused more on winning - which we have been doing a lot more of lately. And it's been fun. And rugby is a great way to stay in shape, and a hell of a lot more interesting than the treadmill at the gym.

It takes a while to get the hang of the sport. It's a lot more complicated than it looks from the sidelines. It took me a couple of years to gain confidence on the field. I have my good days and not so good days. But it's the challenge of getting over those issues and learning new skills that still appeals to me, even 7 years into the sport. I'm still learning new techniques and skills all the time.

And while you'll eventually get over stuffing your head in between sweaty men's asses, it does have its appeal:

Come and check us out. Practices are Tuesdays and Thursdays at Stead Field, behind JR's on P Street, N.W. (between 16th and 17th streets). Matches are nearly every Saturday beginning in September through mid-November.

Posted by jimbo at 10:26 PM | Comments (10)

July 30, 2007

Monday Reminders

In case I forgot to mention: Paul Rudd is dreamy:

If I haven't told you before, I've declared war on varmints. Say hello to my little friend Victor:

There was another incursion into 'The Pond' out front this weekend with some kind of critter frolicking to and from each body of water, again overturning the lily pads. So I'm introducing them to my little friend Victor. IT IS ON, MOTHAFOKKAS!!! BRING IT!!! I wasn't surprised to see that the active ingredients in mammal repellant are indeed urea (pee) and garlic oil. So my peeing to mark territory theory was not a crackpot idea - just a cheaper option. I'll have to start making more garlic pesto dinners from here on out...

Shown above is 'The Pond' out in front. The plants you see are hardy water hyacinths and robust irises. You can't see any zen lily pads because they've been destroyed by the varmints. I think I'm just going to have to give up on the lily pads. They've been overturned 5 times too many and now have no leaves. The remaining shoots struggle to survive. Fucking varmints!

Shown above is 'The Tub'. Note the muddy lip of the tub showing that some critter was going in and out of it at his/her liesure.

I wondered why this was bothering me so much over the weekend. While I would one day like to see a lily flower, I'm resigned to the fact that it's just another thing that you can't do in the city. I eventually realized that what bugs me the most about it the most is that I don't know who or what is doing it. As a former park ranger and current naturalist by hobby with a background in biology and wildlife study, I should know this sort of thing. That's why it bugs me so much. I am mostly offended by the mystery of it all.

I had a nice weekend. I geeked out on City of Heroes with upstairs Sean an awful lot, who hosted a lovely brunch on Saturday. I went to Nellie's for the first time on Saturday, and while the bartenders need to speed it up a bit, I liked the space, especially the 3rd floor deck. And there were many, many people there I've never seen before in DC. I knew it was going to fill a much-needed niche for a particular segment of the gays in DC - clearly the "kickin' back with a brew and my masc/musc/mil buds" now have a place to go. The other Sean returned from Fire Island and reports having had a good time, but I've never seen a Skwurl so tired...

Two new hottie dogwalkers identified and named this weekend: 'Silverback' kind of looks like a compact, muscular Anderson Cooper. He walks a multi-colored blue tick hound. He has nice shoulders and spiffy clothes. Then there's Air Force Jack Russell Terrier Guy, who's kinda lean and buzzcut. That brings the hottie street count census of hottie dogwalkers in Shaw to at least 8, and that's not counting shirtless runners-by. Have I reminded you that Shaw is where it's at?

Have I also mentioned that the Green Line Sux Donkey Dix? It's apparently toxic donkey dix too. Oh, that's fine, just allow your contractors to apply bird poison during business hours. I suppose it would knock off some tourist's toddler. And don't mind the dead bird carcasses. We'll just think it's West Nile and be fine with it.

Posted by jimbo at 10:50 AM | Comments (13)

June 1, 2007

pre-packing fall geek show update

The Sci-Fi Channel has announced upcoming season 4 of Battlestar Galactica will be its last:

"Galactica" will kick off in November with "Razor," an extended two-hour episode, with the rest of the season slated to run beginning in early 2008.

This is good and bad news for me. I'm glad they won't be stringing along storylines and leaving questions unanswered episode after episode like in Lost. They're trying to get somewhere and it makes sense that they'll hopefully achieve their goal in reaching Earth. But it's sad such a good show has to end.

Geek tip from Chris at BoysBriefs: A limited run six-episode Heroes spinoff, Heroes: Origins, will introduce a new character each week. At the end of the run you vote for your favorite Hero, a la American Idol.

The democratically elected character will then be added to the sci-fi drama as a regular the following year. In other words, think of this as a paranormal version of American Idol.

More proof Kylie likes Dr. Who and is a wannabe Cybergirl:

Geekery research by Kutari Prime who notes that Kylie is dressed like a Movellan Princess circa Tom baker era in the clip. Listen closely for Cybermen creator quotes.

More woofy baseball players, because it's almost summer. Geoff Jenkins of the Milwaukee Brewers:


It's amazing how inspired I am to blog when I have a whole house to pack today. I'll be away from the Internets for a while until Verizon comes to my rescue, which could be weeks, even months. Have a good summer!

Posted by jimbo at 11:40 AM | Comments (8)

May 17, 2007

Happy Syttende Mai!

OMG DJ TM™ is hawt. So is the one to his left. Photos by Joe Tresh. Grrrr!

Speaking of whores and harlots, the Washington Renegades Rugby Football Club is having a 'harlotfest' tournament this Saturday morning starting at 10ish at the field behind the Holocaust Museum*. A harlotfest is where players are somewhat randomly assigned to their team, as opposed to playing on a team they have practiced with.

It'll be one of the last easily accessible matches of the season, so come watch. Social to follow at Titan.

If that isn't butch enough for you, don't miss The Great Big International Drag King Show 007 at the 9:30 Club on Saturday night, the featured entertainment event for the Gender Public Advocacy Coalition's 2007 GenderYOUTH Leadership Summit.

*Raoul Wallenberg Field (3 blocks West of Smithsonian Metro on the Blue/Orange Line; or 15th and C St. SW between Independence Ave and Maine Ave SW Washington, DC)

Posted by jimbo at 8:07 AM | Comments (2)

April 20, 2007

hot bearded Fox Mulder in new movie

"The TV Set," is the story of a TV pilot as it goes through the Network TV process of casting, production and finally airing. But I want to see it because it features David Duchovny with a wuuufy beard:

That and it also stars SIGOURNEY WEAVER! She's actually quite funny in other roles that don't involve xenomorphic aliens that bleed acid.

Jocko is blessed by Her Unusualness. He has been sainted with the True Colors, St. Jocko of True Colors.

Posted by jimbo at 11:40 AM | Comments (6)

April 4, 2007

The 300 Hottie Factory

The 300 was bloody good fun, with cheesy lines delivered with full-testosterone action by Gerard Butler as King Lionidas. My favorite Spartan was Leonidas' short, scruffy, blond sidekick and narrator Dilios, played by David Wenham who sadly lost one of his baby blues in the battle, but kind of talks too much. But he's like a bard and narrator, so I guess I'll have to put up with his monologues in bed. TJ liked one of the cowardly Arcadians who looked like Jake Dakota's dad, apparently. While all of The 300 had nice scruff, their buff humps were not covered by fur, but still fun to look at.

So apparently Xerxes was a giant drag queen, with an army of Africans, Mongol-looking people, and lots of mean deformed people too. And he was probably the reason the Dire Rhinoceros' went exctinct since he used them in battle but the Spartans killed them all. Oh, and he had wizards with grenades, and the Spice Girls were in his orgy entourage too.

Everyone in Leonidas' army was cut, buff, bearded but with no body hair to speak of. They also had incredibly big mouths, and roared a lot too. Not that's a bad thing. And that's how The 300 went.

I was taking pictures the other day and here's one of my favorite rushes - biking through the tunnel on the Rock Creek Parkway near the National Zoo. You're supposed to walk your bike through it but that's no fun.

Posted by jimbo at 10:45 PM | Comments (6)

March 30, 2007

I was scruffy before scruffy was cool

Yay for beards abroad and at home:

Facial Hair Required for Royal Air Force Regiments in Afghanistan

DanTan Sets Beard Trend in DC?

As for the second article, I say scruff was going on long before DanTan elevated to DC Diety. Tangherlini just looks great with his beard is all, and proves you can do a good job and still be scruffy.

Phoenix was quite unusual, because by and large the gay boys there had NO facial hair at all. I saw only one other gay boy with facial hair there. I was even asked about my beard while out and about on 3 different occasions. There are far more furry hipster beards in DC, or even Tucson. But when the temperatures started rising I could understand the Phoenicians' penchant for smoothness. It gets frikkin' hot there, too hot for extra fur.

I had my first rugby practice last night, although the practices have been going on for some time. My running outside of practice has REALLY helped this year, and last night wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, except for the hardpan clay-based shitty soil of our pitch, that is. I even got a good run in during a scrimmage, and there are many new cutie pies on the team. One new youngster looks like a less-evolved (that's a good thing) version of SG-1's Daniel Jackson, but with furry arms. Me like young cavemen. Anyway, we have matches tomorrow. Don't know if I'm playing, but the weather is looking good.

Posted by jimbo at 8:28 AM | Comments (1)

March 26, 2007

vacation, woof errata

Photo by Panchesco, which captures my spring break trip to Arizona nicely:

Dogpoet in Hawaii, far more woofy than the Bradys in Hawaii. My favorite: Dogpoet's guns.

And my current Amazon.com wish list, just for kicks and to annoy Starbucks barristae:

One more piece of woof errata: the adidas Active Skincare Sexiest Men in League contest.

Finally, Milwaukee Brewer and native Tucsonian J.J. Hardy, at spring training in Tucson:

Posted by jimbo at 7:24 PM | Comments (1)

March 19, 2007

human cognition probably takes place at an automatic level

Photo by OMG DJ TM™ of me and my dearest friend Jon being freaks together, as we do so well:


So like TJ finally calls me back, albeit on the busiest work day of the year, miraculously catching me in the office in a brief moment of lucidity from the day's madness...

Phone: ring, ring...
Jimbo: (hysterical work phone voice) "Hello! This is Jim!!!"
TJ: "OMG so like what happened at Blowoff?!?!"
Jimbo: "Umm...wouldn't you like to know, betch..."
TJ: "Oh yeah, I was in hibernation after eating some blueberries and didn't make it out of bed that day..."
Jimbo: "Yeah well nothin' really happened...I was really drunk and was hitting on this hot friend of Tos' named Jed but I think he was scared of me..."
TJ: "Well, you sounded drunk on the phone..."
Jimbo: "I was a little loud I think...the Spring Aura of Desperation is in full effect."
TJ: "So, like did anyone ask about me?"
Jimbo: "Yeah, and I told them you were dead to me."
TJ: "Well yeah but like I mean did anyone ask about me?"
Jimbo: "In passing, but Carl had Ruphus cornered the whole time at my house so I didn't really talk to either of them much, Clickboo was drunk...and Skwurl had some kind of Brazillian sugar cane Aztec buttcrack juice he made us all drink. Chrisafer and Bubbles and Aaron and Josh were there but I don't think they made it to Blowoff after my house...and a bunch of drunk rugger queens showed up too."
TJ: "But like did anyone ask about me?"
Jimbo: "Anyway, someone just burst into flames here at work so I gotta go."
TJ: "Well yeah but like I mean did anyone ask about me?"
Phone: "Bzzzz...."

This is Ruphus and Clickboo being leprechauns in my house:

Blowoff was a hoot from what I remember of it due to Skwurl's Brazillian sugar cane Aztec buttjuice drink. Spring was definitely in the air with me and other primates vying for supremacy, staging and posturing like the avian arrivals of spring. A mere hello to someone who is normally friendly while partnered becomes gruff and unresponsive while single and cruising.

So I go home for more of the same on Manhunt, noting the inordinate amount of unnatural smoothness online, a dozen or so screen names with 'masc' in the title, and wondering why guys on there are looking for dates when Match.com gets you more of that. My 90 days on there will not lead to much, I'm afraid.

Soon my tastes swing from strawberry to adorkable, especially when he tells me his thesis in 12 words or less, the unassuming lithe Jewishy entomologist and his study of mayfly nymphs and the fluid dynamics of their gill slits depending on the viscosity of seasonal water changes just gives me a boner these days...

Buncha drunk ruggers in my house too:

Posted by jimbo at 9:32 PM | Comments (4)

March 16, 2007

Blowoff this Saturday night

To end the week of hunky leprechauns I give you the art of Blowoff by Linas Garsys:

March is generally my worst work month ever, but I've been holdin' it together and keepin' a cool head at work. It helps that we have several new but very energetic and motivated coworkers to help me out.

Tonight's cool rain should give the buds a boost out there. I'm already starting to smell the dogwoods in bloom. I'll keep my gardening to a minimum this spring as I don't care to leave my efforts behind in June.

Posted by jimbo at 1:55 AM | Comments (2)

March 15, 2007

the sap is flowing

Rusty Dewees is a Vermont performance artist who does a one man show called The Logger. The image is from his 2002 calendar (March: maple syrup season). Caption for the photo: "Hey Aunt Jemima, gather this!" Photo courtesy of Boobob:


And the sap is indeed flowing in the sugar maples of West Virginia, while spring peepers (a very tiny frog in charge of announcing spring) have already been heard in Maryland. While rugby practice has started, I'll be going to my first practice tonight now that it's warmed up a bit. Here's a pic by Blogstar Brettie of me from last fall, 2nd from left, swinging my arms like an ape as I gape at the cute scrumhalf on my team:



Once, not long ago, I wore glasses. But that was before I got laser-enhanced vision, which was well worth the $2,200 per eye:


This photo was taken by BlogStar Brettie last spring at the Bingham Cup in NYC. The gentleman at my shoulder is Raimundo from Anchorage, who was clearly cruising somebody at the time.

Posted by jimbo at 8:58 AM | Comments (1)

March 13, 2007

chinstrap leprechauns

Been busy at work, too busy even to read blogs, then there's all these redhead submissions to deal with. Here's some jolly chinstrap boys filled to the brim with Guiness, courtesy of our most favorite Woof of the Week:

Other than that, grumble grumple, honey pot on fire, harrr, grrrr and other complaints.

Posted by jimbo at 10:40 PM | Comments (5)

March 12, 2007

Gay Leprechaun Insurgency Photo Challenge

UPDATE: many more leprechauns, both cute and scary, posted below.

Send me more pictures like the one below, and I'll post pictures of hot redhead leprechauns all week just for you.

Let's make it a challenge: hot scruffy shirtless redheads only, preferrably hairy and naturally-built. No 'roided out redheads please.


Now here's something not to send this week, submitted by TJ. Carrot "Top" on steroids helps me understand Skwurl's revulsion towards Daywalkers:


NOT scruffy, NOT furry, and kinda creepy.

Here's a fine example submitted by Mike at Life's a Krooz, not work safe!

Flying leprechauns are OK with me, submitted by Chuck at Howling Point:


This is what I'm talkin' about, the ever-favorite Concrete Man (Homo concretius) submitted by Jack at Fstclss Ramblings.



Scary gay redhead twins submitted by Homer.



From Boobob, a capricious kelpie - Kel*pie /'kelpe/ (noun): A water spirit of Gaelic folklore, reputed to delight in seducing and then drowning unsuspecting travelers. Straight outta Monster Manual II:

Posted by jimbo at 1:21 PM | Comments (16)

March 11, 2007

Manhunt

I did make it out to Woof on Friday after a post-work beauty nap. I'm happy to see it seems to start a bit later, as I'm normally unwilling to rush home from work and head out without a little decompression. It was ok, and at least four people raised their hands above their heads when I walked by and said, "I'm not fingering you!!!" So I guess a lot of people read Friday's entry...everyone behaved and nobodys fingers were broken.

Then we went out to Cobalt rather early, but that was OK as I'm just tuckered out by Friday. It was good to catch up with friends and listen to OMG DJ TM™ before the crowds showed up.

But before that Gurl and I had a little talk:

Gurl: "So how long has it been for you?"
Me: "I think it's been like since December, and over half a year since I've had some decent 'fur'."
Gurl: "OMG this is serious!"

So I broke down and joined Manhunt under much peer pressure, albeit without the help of the sagacious advice from The Jedi Master of Manhunt. Instead I chose to study under The Emperor.

And what they say is true - everybody is on Manhunt, and they're quite honest about what they're looking for! Some observations:

- I'm amazed at how many people online are willing to give blowjobs without reciprocation. I think that's a wonderful renewable resource.

- Next to HIV, body hair trimming remains the second greatest threat to gay society. There can't possibly be that many smooth bodies in the world.

- Again, I don't want to see a picture of your dog or you next to the Borobudur Temple in Indonesia, or wherever. Show me fur, and the rest of the goods.

- Guys, if you have to blur out your face, don't mask it using the white airbrush in Photoshop and then draw a smiley face where your head was. It frightens me. I'm going to have nightmares about cut smooth guys with blurry white smiley faces instead of a human head, chasing me down the street.

- There are a lot of guys on Manhunt complaining about being on Manhunt. I think the old wisdom our parents used to say rings true: "Go outside and get some exercise!" Fresh air will do you some good.

On Saturday the rugby team did some volunteering at the Shamrock Fest over at RFK stadium. It's basically a big festival where straight people get together to drink beer...and they drank and drank and drank. I realized that it was the straight version of a circuit party, and our communities aren't that different. Just as many straight people puke and pass out as gay people do at their venues.

Martini Gurlatalova was there too, and had an interesting observation: "...the only thing that I can use to determine if someone is gay now (in the city) is that the man is underweight."

Too true...it seems polarized in the city where you either have to be REALLY big like at Woof, or underfed and scrawny. Where's the in-betweeners in this town?

Posted by jimbo at 11:58 PM | Comments (10)

March 7, 2007

porntastic 'stache media alert

ALERT: the already woofy husband of Madonna, Guy Ritchie, has been spotted wearing a fake porntastic 'stache for Purim, some kinda crazy Jewish holiday.

Anyway, it is clear that Madonna has good taste, as always.

More hotness from across the pond, courtesy of a dellwood newsflash, Gerard Butler of The 300:

It's only Wednesday and it's already been a wooftastic week.

Most definitely not porntastic, unless it's 70's twink porntastic, from the upcoming motion picture Blades of Glory:

Featuring Will Ferrell and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite), "coming out" in theaters Friday, March 30. It looks like a hoot.

Posted by jimbo at 11:59 AM | Comments (11)

February 24, 2007

I can't wait for Easter

I know Easter is still around the corner, but this is who I'd like to have deliver my Easter Basket this year:

Please include Peeps and Cadbury Creme Eggs in the basket, preferrably served by the above gentleman.

My crazy surfing brother out west has a blog on MySpace, and he smells like cat pee.

Don't you hate it when you get a message from some hot guy in your MySpace e-mailbox, and when you read it you see that he's pimping his music/art/business? I'll pimp my friends whom I've met whose product I enjoy, but not total strangers. There's some research I came across a while back while writing a persuasion/marketing paper that basically says marketing through your personal network is a no-no and can have an equal and opposite effect than what was desired. I know MySpace tends to be more networky than Friendster and such, but I personally prefer to keep it 'just friends'. Unless it's Kelly of course.

Posted by jimbo at 9:13 PM | Comments (2)

February 19, 2007

Super-Furry President's Day Dance Party 3000

Today, just because:

"Ian Hendricks" as found on the Hairy Blokes blog where you can find a fine collection of Ben Cohen pics too.

Charlene Says Tim Hardaway's a big jackass, but we're long overdue for a man currently in a professional sport to come out. And I'm not talking about competitive diving, equestrian, or sportaerobics. There are gay men in professional football, baseball and basketball, and they just have to have the balls to face these idiots who will quickly shut up when faced with truth, rather than their own ignorant ideas of what gay people are. Anyhow, Hardaway needs to get his ass kicked by a rugby-playing Texan belle with big hair, cute nose and cherubic cheeks.

As for Hardaway's fear of being looked up and down in the locker room, it's probably already happened, but you know what? The DL-bruh probably behaved himself and kept it to himself.

Our rugby team is about half straight now. I think most of the straight guys play with us simply because our pitch (field) is in a convenient location. Convenience trumps homophobia in this case, and there have been plenty of times when we've all stripped naked in front of each other, and in rugby the straight and gay guys have to play in very, very close and intimate positions. My head has been in close proximity to hot straight sweaty man-crotch, and in more than a few occasions I've been face-to-'nads for a few moments. If these guys can handle it, so can professional athletes. The straight guys on our team got over it, other teams in our local league got over it, and so can professional athletes.

I like the term "rehabracadabra" coined by Sarah in TJs comments regarding Hardaway. It succinctly describes the current phenomenon where anyone can do or say anything, go to "rehab", and be absolved of all sins. This phenomenon kind of spits in the face of anyone who has actually been to rehab for a legitimate reason, and belittles the institution.

Posted by jimbo at 3:54 PM | Comments (7)

February 15, 2007

Paul Rudd is One Hot Primate

I wish to avoid the use of the very tired "B-word" in describing the super-sexy actor Paul Rudd. He is a handsome primate, but definitely not ursine. He is bearded and fit, and can simply be described as a sexy, bearded man, no "woof" is necessary (because my mouth would be otherwise occupied in various ways).

In this photo Paul is rocking the whole homeless NYC gnome look quite well:

I 'heart' Paul's homeless ski bum look. Look at that tuft of chest hair emerging from his collar - does it call to you as it does to me, like a dense flock of follicular sirens?

And here is Paul being a smirky, smouldering sex god:

On that note, Ryan Reynolds is now single. While I think he was worthy of the Goddess Alanis hand in marriage, it's better now that he is free to be my love slave.

I was previously in a Kelly mood today, but have since gotten over it. But my face was like this much of the day today:

Posted by jimbo at 2:54 PM | Comments (8)

February 1, 2007

I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

I deserve some kind of recognition for maintaining focus in the gym last night. Sometimes I work out on campus where I work and not downtown, especially in the winter when it's cold, as I know how easily I can convince myself not to work out in some way or another on the commute back home before riding my bike to the gyms in DC. But despite the crowding at the campus gyms during the school year, filled with muscular and distracting proto-metrosexual students aged 18-21, I still have to go there or else I won't work out at all.

And apparently the university I work at has the highest ratio of Jewish students in the region for a public university, and at this particular gym on campus there's scruffy Jews, beefy Jews, cut Jews, wrestler Jews, Jock jews, tall Jews, lean Jews, bearded Jews, blond Jews, puppy-dog faced Jews and even red-headed Jews. Most of them are furry too. And I maintained workout focus for the entire time I was there in the face of temptation not even the devil could throw at me.

So I deserve an award. Howabout "Best Composure in the Face of Ultimate Temptation"? Them were some fine Kosher chicken in there tonight, lemme tell ya.

But there was a reason for my laser-focus tonight, as it was a very trying day at work, which always leads to a good workout. This week we underwent the redesign and migration of a very large website, which involves cleaning out old files, redesigning the important stuff, and making sure all the links work on hundreds of pages. Even with staff support and good software, it's a lot of labor that requires organization and memory. Add this to an unexpected event for next week that I'm coordinating and advertising, and a major event in March where I'm doing the same thing, plus a looming newsletter deadline on my shoulders, in addition to a new grad school class starting up (and I still don't know where class is). Needless to say my desk is filled with tasks and my e-mail box fills up by the minute. While I find a rhythm in multitasking through the day, it's not my forte and it exhausts me.

And usually I get the flurries taken care of in the morning, allowing me to work on my marketing networking, chasing professors for pictures, info and lecture titles, and putting small fires out in general. This allows me time in the afternoon to focus on the tasks that require concentration, like writing articles and media alerts, fixing web pages, restoring links, and desktop publishing - all of which require uninterrupted periods of concentration. I have this now after an office move to a more quiet area of our department, but on some days there are exceptions to this.

The new semester has started and everyone has a problem, and they come into my office telling me about it at great length with no warning. Perhaps my new aquarium fish are too relaxing to watch and causes conversational diarhea in most people. But unless it's on e-mail, during busy times like this at work my mind is a sieve and it goes in one ear and out the other.

So the second to last person to come into my office got his point across, but then he droned on and on and I couldn't even find change in my wallet correctly as the buzzing humm of his voice was scattering my brain across the cosmos. Following him was a person with a very bomastic, forcefull manner, and although he is very nice I just wasn't ready for his pure force at that time. The list of things to fix on the freshly redesigned site was growing while he was talking and there was a number of things I had to get done for the upcoming events by the end of the day as well. But like the man before him, his statements and tasks to deliver turned into a barrage of semiautomatic gunfire to my brain. Brrr-att! Brrr-att! Rrrrrattatttattattt. And he just wouldn't stop even after I told him I can't do what he wants me to do now, so please write the points in an e-mail, but he kept on going at that pace, not seeming to notice the hysterical tone rising in my voice. At such trials in my life I abruptly quiet down and drop my head as if in prayer, and my eyes shift from side to side as if seeking escape. Close friends have seen this dire moment, and know to back off. But not everyone knows they should stop what they are doing and quiet down so I can procees before I explode.

And I know I can explode easy, so I have developed the catatonic method described above to deal, but that wasn't working, and the verbal gunfire to my head wasn't stopping either. So I left my office that had become his space and walked down the hallway, not intending to stop until the blast of pain forming in my left temple would stop throbbing. I walked the length of the building, breathing deep, cooling down the wave of heat cascading over my brain.

I returned to my office and it was empty. I closed my door and sat down and logged off AOL and work e-mail to reduce distraction, and approached each task calmly and in an orderly fashion in my own physical, mental and cyber space at my desk. No one came to visit after that, and I got most of my tasks completed, or at least organized enough so I could finish it tomorrow when I'm less addled.

I got out of my office at 7pm, something I avoid getting in a habit of doing. But hell, I'm seasonally-depressed, it's winter, and working allows me to be in a state of not-depressed for a time, but I'm not saying it's a happy thing either.

I haven't felt the way I felt today since I was in college, president of both an active gay and a busy environmental campus student groups, and taking a 5-credit chemistry class in addition to ecology and calculus at the same time. Yeah, I was younger with more stamina then, but I'm equally pressed with tasks today. I know a lot of type-A gays like to load up their tasks in the same way, usually plowing through them like Juggernaut, thinking we're invulnerable and irresistable in our advance on our work, because we're fabulous and should be up to the tasks for the day, right?

But every superhero and supervillian has their Achilles' heel, and mine was found today. But at least I didn't yell out, "I'm the JUGGERNAUT, bitch!" at the chatty people in my office.

Posted by jimbo at 8:18 AM | Comments (2)

January 29, 2007

the doldrum's depths, SuperJennifer Dance Party 3000

On days like today it's hard to think of something to blog about, much less go to work. The past two months I've been withdrawn, moody, and elated at the same time. It's the seasonal blues I get this time of year, only perceptable when I come out of a funk and look back at how I was feeling. But you can't detect when you're in the bottom of a funk until you get out of it. Hard to get out of my warm comfy bed, hard to get to the gym. The depression meds have helped moderate things a bit, but even the drugs and happy lights aren't strong enough to mask all of it.

So I am glad I listened to my friend Steve (at right) when he said, "Schedule this vacation now, before you're too depressed to do it later!" And he was right. I had the foresight to schedule a trip to Costa Rica for a week in February, and I can't wait. Look for the fishbelly white spot on the Google world map when I get there. Flights to Tucson are always relatively cheap too, and I have a week off for spring break in March. We'll see how batty I'm feeling by then.

Homer asks: "Do you have a type?". Predictably, yes, so much so that close friends know how to pick 'em for me quite accurately. Personality and intellect is just as important, but it's hard to get the physical and mental to join up in one person, especially in clean-cut and conformist DC. I've really, really tried to go outside of type in the past year, and have had some really nice dates and opportunities, but I just can't beat the beast who gets his crank turned by some fur and rugged looks. Like a Rice Queen so entrenched in his Asians that he sees nothing else, I'm admittedly just as shallow in my need for fur and woof. I've tried to fight it but I think I just have to be honest with myself that it is what I like. There have been exceptions of course, but they are rare, and I'm not counting out being surprised one day by falling in love with a smooth spindly wisp of a thing. Another determinant is that I think I like the outsider type of guys, ones who don't always swim with the school. A bit freaky but able to associate with other people, but definitely has his opinions about things. And again, looking like the man to the left or Mike Rowe wouldn't hurt a bit.

I was on my best behavior Friday evening for Sqwurl's birthday dinner. I warned him in advance that Lauriol Plaza would be packed on a Friday evening, but even my most jaded predictions about how packed it would be were surpassed as it was a wall-to-wall Super-Jennifer* Dance Party 3000, none of them yet seated, most of them drunk and screechy. Deep inside I was gnashing but on the outside I was all smiles, and surprised at my ability to present such a front. Well, maybe my eyes were bugging out a bit. Someone wisely suggested that a restaurant east of 14th Street would be Jennifer-free, as they fear to tread there, and it was generally true. But there was still a 2-hour wait, made easier by the strongest margaritas I've ever had, hands-down, not even in Mexico have they been stronger. So by the time we were seated I was absolutely wasted. Then the Mexican food plus all the citrusy margarita mix gave me some bad acid indigestion that plagued me all night. Needless to say nothing much got done this weekend as I recovered and rested in my warm basement.

*A Jennifer: A rude, obnoxious, usually monied or spoiled female child of the upper middle class or upper class, who haunts city nightlife. Always seen with body-bag sized handbags and a propensity for inherited Botox face. Can't walk in heels, yet aspires to stilettos. The Bush Twins are Jennifers. Jennifers do not go to my gym, they go up north; the women at my gym could break a Jennifer by poking her with a celery stick, or that 20 lb. dumbbell. Wikipedia 'Jennifer' entry by Carl.

Posted by jimbo at 4:46 PM | Comments (5)

January 21, 2007

a view from my barred bathroom window

While not a lot of this light snow is accumulating in DC, I hope it is building up outside The District so we have a snow day tomorrow! The green stuff is my iris plants growing out of my 'pond', the Cat Factory is in the background, and can you spot the horseshoe in the photo?

I ventured out to Remington's for my first post-smoking ban trip to a bar, and it was wonderful. Some of my rugger friends met some of my bloggeratti friends and I am struck yet again at how my circles rarely meet. Matt from rugby was like, "Who's Skwurl?" and Skwurl was like "OMG like who's Matt?" Anyhow, I didn't have to take a shower when I got home, and my eyes weren't burning from smoke. It was lovely. And despite the very cold temperatures outside, The Others still huddled outside to smoke! I just don't get it.

Breeders gone wild: parents reject escalation, form organization, over birthday party extravagances. WTF? I was happy go have a roller skating party at the local roller rink with popcorn. But limos for 6 year-olds? If you think homosexuality is ruining your children, go check yourself and get back to me when your kids are 16 year-old and spoiled rotten to the core. It's bad enough that you're going crazy over high-class birthday parties for your preemie, but you have time to form a club about it? Priorities, people. I can't wait until that generation meets the Gen-X managers in the workplace. I predict a lot of entitlement issues with employees and their managers in 20 years. The self-sufficiency of the latch-key generation versus kids who have been showered with everything they want since childbirty.

I wish Old Spice really did this.

The film, Black Sheep, looks like it might be even better than Snakes on a Plane:

I am giddy with excitement about this film. I'll fly across the pond to see it if it doesn't make it to the U.S.

Posted by jimbo at 4:03 PM | Comments (6)

January 16, 2007

some guy at the gym tonight had a bleeding nipple

Well my new $80 alarm clock works just as good as my ancient one, as I ignore it just as efficiently the old one. Although I did enjoy waking up to a song chosen the previous evening, but then in my awakening state I somehow figured out how to shut it off, even though I had a tech Skwurl put it together and I have no idea how to make it not go off at 6am. But I might figure it out by this weekend.

So if I see a guy at the gym wearing a white polyester polo shirt and I see a fresh bloodstain spreading from where his nipple should be, should I say something to him? "Umm...excuse me, but your nipple got ripped off..." Miss Manners was truly perplexed and could find no words for such an event. Which crime is worse, the bleeding or the polo shirt? At least his collar wasn't popped.

Winter returned with a vengance today, and with it the super-dry air, which made my clean-shaven face all tight and dry. Part of what made me shave it was the balmy weekend weather, and it felt warm on my face. But beards keep your face cozy and moisturized too, so it's gotta come back. Plus even my coworkers complained about the clean-shaven look. Allright already!

Work Safe: from scruffy Chris who likes scruffy Ryan Gosling. I concur.

Not Work Safe: Jew Lust, the blog. I prefer my Israelis a little older, I think. And the Hairy Blokes blog. I like Leandro Dotto best with his furry butt. But most of the guys on it aren't that hairy by my standards.

This one, on the right, is just right. Wuuuuuf.

Posted by jimbo at 11:06 PM | Comments (5)

January 15, 2007

Falcon Studios presents...

...Brent Silver!

No, I'm not gonna keep it, nor the fu either. In fact, a fu is a pain in the ass to trim around, and while it got a lot of compliments, I'm slow enough as it is in the morning than to be trimming and shaving around a fu all morning.

I had a good weekend although I had to subdue myself as the sinus infection was slowing me down. I'm feeling a lot better though. Blowoff on Saturday night was a hoot, although I didn't end up going to the Sunday night dance as I was tuckered out from the previous night's fun.

Posted by jimbo at 8:21 PM | Comments (20)

January 14, 2007

a rugged-looking bunch

Here's Daddy TJ ordering everyone to purse their lips, but Tos can't purse his lips, but Steve and Jason are trying hard:

Much woofage was in my house last evening, including Daywalker Woof, Skinhead Woof, Mr. MAL Woof, and Mr. Bartender Woof:

From right to left: Lumberjack Woof, Copperred Woof, ClickBoo Woof, Mrs. Durban Woof, Mr. Bartender Woof, and again, Daywalker Woof:

Discussing the caloric value of cheese curds:

Posted by jimbo at 4:12 PM | Comments (1)

January 7, 2007

Attention-Deficit Disorder Dungeons and Dragons (A.D.D. D&D)

I think I've just found my latest hobby: join to join a local chapter of a complaints choir! It's just the thing for those with a skill for melody and lots of complaining to do, with others of the same.

Thanks to the suggestions of some readers' comments, I ordered a new alarm clock that plays music or stored sound bits from my iPod mini. My first experiment is to wake up to the sound of spring peeper frogs, then switch over to some hardcore metal/electroncia mashups. That'll do the trick. But if someone's found some really annoying Jennifer sound clips that would work too.

So much coming up next weekend, I'd better preserve my strength by the time the weekend comes. First, OMG DJ TM™ will be spinning at Cobalt on Friday night. Then Saturday night is the leather edition of Blowoff from 9:30pm - 3:00am. Due to the MAL weekend confluence with Blowoff, it'll be a big crowd, so pick your $20 tickets up at the 9:30 Club right quick. I suspect the crowd will be something like this (NOT work safe). Then in the same place at 815 V ST. N.W. DC from 10:00pm - 6:00am on Sunday night is the MAL Reaction Dance which I may skip as it's a school night as far as I know. We'll see how burnt out I am by then and give it some consideration, being that it's $30 a ticket.

I didn't do much over the weekend, choosing to relax after the holiday madness and in preparation for the coming weekend. The gang gathered for an A.D.D. D&D (Attention-Deficit Disorder Dungeons and Dragons) session and we started off trying to catch up on almost a month's worth of bar, gay, dating, holiday and neighborhood drama. In the remaining hour of time left we actually rolled a few dice. Here's what happened:

The party is going through The Mud Sorcerer's Tomb From Dragon Magazine issue #138, going after ancient treasure. But traps and great magics of antiquity are in abundance, as the Sorcerers preferred to keep their ancient secrets and goods intact. Nevertheless, here's Nodjmet of Mulhorand, a psychic warrior/sorceror attempting to use her scimitar to cut the head off a helpess cleric held in stasis, while the air genasai monk gets ready on following up with whack to her head with a crowbar. The 12-sided die represents a flaming sphere readied in case the "sleeping beauty" turns out to be undead, and the other dice are just kinda there and don't represent anything. The party prevailed at mauling the poor priest (without knowing who she was or checking alignment) just for her fine robes.

Then the micro-roleplaying sets in, as it does with a group of attention-deficit disordered gay men hyped up on soda, carbs and caffiene:
Lily the Druid: (Looks into the crypt, sees a beautiful dark-haired woman in stasis clad in flowing red robes) OMG! Look at that robe! It's fabulous!
DM (Jimbo): Umm...you're a Druid, why should you care?
Lily the Druid: Well, I need a new outfit, and the color of the robe complements my eyes. What's the thread count on that robe?
DM (Jimbo): (rolling eyes, making up stuff) It's a low thread count - under 100 - but it looks breathable in the ancient linen weaving tradition of the pre-Mulhorandi Jezulain textile guilds, very popular during the post-reckoning period of Netheril's refugee city-states. So in addition to having very powerful protective magics, it would be much sought after by modern clothiers and fabric historians as the unique weave technique allows warmth, breathability and has an exquisite feel to it.
Kal the Mage: I just want to know where that bitch put her spellbook (begins searching for secret compartments)...

Then Jon pipes in with a micro-roleplaying question:

Nodjmet (Jon): So like when I died last week, and recieved a raise dead spell from the cleric, how do I know my baby is OK? (Nodjmet the half-giant is carrying a child purportedly fathered by Scorpp the Hill Giant, a disgruntled employee from the Temple of Elemental Evil. Scorp is currently tending to the livestock in the party's keep, having been emancipated from the Temple. The child is soon to come to term...)
DM (Jimbo): Did you recieve any abdominal discomfort after your return from the dead?
Nodjmet (Jon): Umm...I don't think so, why?
DM (Jimbo): Well clearly the beneficial bacteria in your digestive system came back to life too, otherwise you would be experiencing problems digesting by today. Thus, your baby is probably also included in the package with the spell, so the child is probably OK too.

These are the things that keep gay geeks content. But not for long, since next time they have to deal with this:

Posted by jimbo at 3:52 PM | Comments (7)

December 24, 2006

have a scruffy holiday

A Scruffy Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!

Just like HairyJ above, celebrate your time away from work by not shaving. 'Tis the season to be scruffy. Fa la la la la, la la la woof.

Posted by jimbo at 12:06 PM | Comments (11)

December 22, 2006

he make good bottom

Despite a frustrating and exhausting day at work, I went out for a bite to eat at Health Bar last night with Gurl. There was much gossip to catch up with and I hadn't spent quality Gurl Time in a while. We caught up and looked at the cute Results boys passing by, and I reminded Gurl to remind me never to never go on a date at Health Bar as my eyes wander too easily.

Anyway, Gurl asked me if I would mind walking home with him and stopping by the relatively new gay bookstore down the street to pick up a few things and I said, "Muh-huh, I was thinkin' the same thing..." So we cleared up the check and went on our way...

Like some other people who live in the area, we are both entertained by the proprietor the store as he is a plentiful font of pornographic gossip and is fun to try to understand. We made our usual perusals of the wares, and Gurl finally 'popped' the question, "So do you have some of that really good stuff behind the counter..."

As our transactions were being made, Gurl pointed up to the 'New Release' rack behind the counter and commented, "Oooh...gurl, check it out: 'Ranger'!" I chuckled a little and said, "Oh, my friend TJ likes that guy, they met at Folsom."

The shopkeeper excitedly pipes up, "Oh, dey met ad Fossom! He in heere yestahday weed hees paadnuh! He have beard like you an he so shy!"

"What?!" I didn't quite understand what he said, so he repeated himself slower, with anunciation this time. I replied, "Yeah, he really likes Jake Dakota."

"Oh, he so hot and shy, he makea good bottom in porn movie."

"What?!" Again, I kinda didn't quite catch what he said, but then it started to sink in. Shopkeeper repeats himelf again: "He so hot and have-a shy face, he make a hot bottom in porn movie. I try to tehl heem dat."

Now most people don't get to hear a deep gut laugh out of me, but that's the best line I'd heard all week, and I let out a loud guffaw right there in the store.

So Gurl starts moving out of the store, and Shopkeeper says to me, "So, you like animal?"

"What?!" Again, I wasn't prepared for what I thought he just said. I replied, "Umm...I like animals as pets, in aquariums and looking at them in the outdoors..."

"No, I have someting behind counter, good deal just for you. Cute pet!" He pulls a wicker box from under the register, and I hear a soothing, trilling noise from within.

"Now, you must unnahstan tree tings: Furst - no open popper after midnight, bad ting happen when you do dat. Animal go from teddy bear to angertwink. Secon - no spill lube on animal. Bad ting happen, you get more angertwink! Tree - no turn on multi-spectrum bright light on teddy bear, he no like Happy Light..."

Posted by jimbo at 8:53 AM | Comments (16)

November 29, 2006

make wish list, anger a barrista

We all know that every time you masturbate, a kitten dies, but I want to remind you that every time you make a holiday gift wish list on your blog you anger a 31 year-old Starbucks barrista. So let's all do our part to anger barristas across the country, and like totally sell out and post your holiday wish list on your blog. I tried the whole Amazon wish list on their site but nobody could figure it out, so I'll just link to the individual items instead:

I WANT:
• DVDs of: SLiTHER, Snakes on a Plane, and The Transformers - The Movie (20th Anniversary Special Edition)
• Small Eddie Bauer Duffel (graphite color)
• Tickets to the Broadway production of Xanadu
• Dungeons and Dragons Spell Compendium
• A Spice Girls reunion

And finally, if I can't get anything else, please get me a Jason for my birthday (Dec.28):

Posted by jimbo at 8:41 AM | Comments (12)

November 27, 2006

I cavemen

The term 'caveman' is a jimboism coined by me, meaning a rugged looking man who may or may not be furry or scruffy, but just has that look like he might hit you over the head with his club and drag you to his cave. I cavemen. Usually more fit than Bears, cavemen are definitely more scary-looking, but in a good way. One fine example is John Cena, a professional wrestler. Many professional wrestlers are 'cavemen'. Just look at that cro-mag brow!

Here's actor David Denman as his character in 'The Office'. His character is a caveman, not a Bear, because he's not too big and burly:

And Jeff of Jeff's Weather Blog is a caveman, because he's scruffy and makes me go "GRRR!" inside, and again, he's not really a Bear:

Jeff's friend Eric is a caveman too. Here's a picture of Eric with his Gucci pterodactyl-hide manpurse slung over his shoulder. In this picture, he's probably about to go kill a wooly mammoth just for fun:

Sadly for Jimbo, there are very, very few cavemen in Washington, DC. Most people here are very clean cut and evolved, and I don't often see any knuckle-draggers (as I like to call them) up on Capitol Hill. Anyone got a time machine?

And let's not forget my favorite caveman, Howie Long. Here's a pic from his ill-fated (I saw it in the theatres, it was awful) 1988 breakout action film Firestorm:

I hope this entry doesn't start some kinda micro-cultural movement that launches Caveman circuit parties and bar venues...

Posted by jimbo at 2:18 PM | Comments (31)

November 26, 2006

Wineberry Cabin

Here's our gargoyle spring water spout at the Potomac Appalacian Trail Club's (PATC) Wineberry Cabin located above the the village of Lydia, Virginia on PATC's "Vining Tract" property. I spent Saturday evening there and the sky was clear with lots of stars showing:

Originally uploaded to Jimbo3DCs Flickr account. More photos after the jump...

It was a rustic, but cozy, log cabin:

Six guys and a cute dog shared the space. This is Maya:

All we did was eat carbs:

And when night fell, we ate more carbs:

Between carbs, some people read:

And when we were done carbing up, we were ready to go:

The evening before I was kidnapped by a buncha twinks and forced to cocktail with them at 30 Degrees. I was able to break away before they went to Apex by distracting them with a cell phone text message.

Posted by jimbo at 5:33 PM | Comments (4)

November 15, 2006

a nice night at the gym

Now that rugby season is over it's back to the gym on a more regular basis. It's tough when it's dark out after work, but I know I have to keep it up to fill the stress relief vacuum left where rugby would normally burn it away. Much thanks to Joe for the Happy Light! I will install it on my wall next to the computer this weekend.

Anyway, lately I've been going to the Washington Sports Club on Connecticut, north of DuPont Circle, as the one south of the Circle has become skanky and smells of mold and stale cum, and the management there doesn't replace missing cable machine handles and stuff. Plus, these days the Kalorama WSC has been smokin' hot for some reason, filled at all hours with something nice to look at. Demographics always shift from club to club, and I move to where I'm most motivated.

So I do my back-craking and stretching exercises, then go to the upstairs deck to do my abs, because if I wait until after my workout I don't always do them. The area is crowded with Jennifers doing six million sit-ups, but waay back in the corner are two 20-something guys apparently humping each other. Interested, I move to get the sit-up device nearest to them, and set it so I can watch them humping in the mirror while I do sit-ups.

Turning off my iPod to hear what they're saying, I can tell they're doing some kind of martial art/wrestling training wearing only shorts and tee-shirts, but no shoes or socks. I did a bit of wrestling back in high school, and even some Muay-Thai kickboxing in Kazakstan, but the moves these two are doing are really unfamiliar. One guy looked Jewishy and had a hot schozz (we'll call him Jacob), and the other has a buzzed head and beard scruff (let's call him Esau). Both Jacob and Esau had furry arms and legs, so much so that they almost had Hobbitt feet. And they were almost in constant contact with each other the entire time, limiting their moves to only a 6' by 6' area of the excercise mat we were all sharing. Considering their appearance and strange grappling moves, I can only surmise that they are practicing some kind of Jew-Fu.

As I begin my set of sit-ups, counting off one...two...three...I see them linking their legs and arms together much like two queens on a couch rolling on ecstacy. Then they come closer, cheek-to-cheek, and just kinda sweat and groan together. Entranced by this close and erotic display of Jew-Fu, I lose myself in my ab set and can't stop looking...

...5,648 reps later I realize I haven't been breathing or blinking for almost ten minutes, and they combatants are still at it. The Jennifers didn't seem to notice. I could do no more sit-ups and didn't want to tent my shorts in the gym, so moved on to do my legs.

It was a good night at the gym...the Jennifers weren't even monopolizing the leg ad/abductor machines, and I completed an entire superset for my legs without anyone asking to work in. Must have been the crazed look on my face. Mmmm...Jew-Fu...

Posted by jimbo at 11:02 PM | Comments (10)

November 9, 2006

a toothy wildlife weekend

I'll be away from blogging most likely until Wednesday, as this weekend I'll be heading down to Charlotte, NC for a friendly set of rugby matches against the Charlotte and Atlanta teams. I am looking forward to it as the Atlanta guys are HOT and my frikkin' honey pot has been on fire for weeks. While there is a regional tournament up in NYC, we were just there in May and it'll be fun to head South for a change.

Anyway, speaking of getting riled up - Uncle Rufus is frikkin' hot.

After the matches and debauchery me an Chip and BlogStar Brettie are heading to Kiawah Island, in Charleston, SC. It's about a 3-4 hour drive from Charlotte, on the Atlantic coast. I may be able to see a real Diamondback Terrapin and possibly some American Alligators. I will go so far as to go out at night with a flashlight to see one. I'll try to take pictures.

Speaking of awesome terrapins, howabout them Terps? We may get to a bowl this year. Props to the quarterback whose performance has improved a lot this season. The Terps were my first college football game ever. It was a lot of fun. So I guess I am both a Packer, a Terp and a Pointer (my undergrad alma mater) as well.

I think this weekend will be absolutely insane in DC due to the election results, especially amongst The Gays. I'm almost bummed I'll be away, as I think everyone will be out partying (except uptight closeted gay Republicans of course). For those in town on Saturday, November 11th, there is much to do. My buddy OMG DJ TM™ will be spinning at Cobalt, starting at 10. And I think Blowoff at the 9:30 Club will also be a total riot. There will be stories. Have fun in my stead.

Posted by jimbo at 11:03 AM | Comments (5)

October 26, 2006

regular blogging will now resume

And now back to our regularly scheduled woof:

Screen cap of Adrian Pasdar by Fitz.

Run, Charlene, Run. Photo by Joe Tresh, who sucessfully captures the essence of the athlete as Greek god Hermes - but with Big Hair.

Kudos to New Jersey for paving the way for some kind of equality for partnered gays in the state. While it is not known whether it will be full marriage or a set of equivalent rights, it's still a step in the right direction. When I heard the news I thought, "Jersey?"

Trainer Bob is hot.

Babs say "STFU". Linky from Chrisafer.

Posted by jimbo at 8:20 AM | Comments (3)

October 24, 2006

Watch the Drag Queens, Save the World

Last night's Heroes was a hoot as usual. I really like that show. Howabout that candidate Petrelli (Adrian Pasdar) hottie? His smile is devastating, and even though he's a lean little tidbit of a man, I think he's dreamy - and the man can fly. And don't forget: if you save the cheerleader, you save the world. Huh, whaddaya know - he's married to a Dixie Chick. Me want shirtless screenshots of the man.

And if you weren't floored by last Friday's Battlestar Galactica you are probably neurologically damaged in some way. Howabout Galactica's low-atmosphere Viper fighter deployment and subsequent jump into lightspeed? WOW that was the coolest special effect I've seen in years.

Tonight is the drag race, starting at 9pm. Be there early, like 1 hour in advance at least, if you want a decent place to stand and watch. Do not call me tonight to ask where and what time it is...if you haven't caught an ad or know it by now, please don't interrupt my transformation into Charlene Hilton, the illegitemate half-sister of Paris, who was exiled to Dallas.

And if I hear the words "Grey's Anatomy" one more time I'm going to puke in the face of whoever said it. No, I will not watch it. That is all.

Posted by jimbo at 12:24 PM | Comments (18)

October 11, 2006

Happy National Coming Out Day!

OMG I'm Gay! gay, Gay, GAY! A homosexual! A fudge packer! A fudge packee! A Green Bay Packer packer (I wish)! I'm, like, totally gay. I'm so gay I'm on a published list of homos in the student newspaper at the academic institution where I work. I'm so gay I'm in print, muthafukkas.

There, I got that out of my system. I feel better. No better time than the present to celebrate such an idea as being open and honest about one's orientation, as recent events on the Hill show what closets, secrets and hubris can to a person's psyche, party and career. People have an amazing capacity for creating their own versions of reality, regardless of what actual life calls on you to do. For more insight into the secret world of closeted gay Republicans here in DC, check out the second paragraph in this insightful piece by Andrew Sullivan:

In Washington gay life, the real Republican closet cases really do seem to exist in their own little, separate social bubble. You don't see them out in gay parties, gyms, cafes, restaurants or bars much. The worst are so screwed up no one would want to socialize wth them anyway. The openly gay Republicans, in contrast, are everywhere on the social scene... In my experience, the divide in DC is not between gay Democrats and gay Republicans; it's between those who are out and those who are not.

More sound words on closets here. I came out when I saw that a gulf was growing between me and my family and friends. I was able to forsee a time where they wouldn't know me, and I didn't like that version of the future. The things I thought I had to keep quiet about where making me a mystery to both me and them - and that's just not my style. Secrets are a kind of mental constipation - and an impacted psyche is just not pretty. Eventually, it all comes out one end or another. While it was challenging managing my 'out' status at first, these days it's been no great sacrifice.

In a sad display of intolerance, students at Gallaudet University here in DC, a major sign-language academic institution, have been protesting the appointment of a non-impaired university president. Apparently similar appointments have been protested before because the candidates were "not deaf enough". A university president has to wear many hats, from spokesperson to HR to development coordinator. Administrative experience should trump the presence or absence of being able to hear, in my opinion. Talk about a quiet riot.

This quote from John Stewart made me laugh so hard I cried:

I actually feel sorry for [Ann Coulter]. Once your career is based on denigrating 9/11 widows, what's your second act? Unless you dig up Mother Teresa and stick a dildo in her eye, nothing could be more offensive,
- Jon Stewart on the drag-queen who pretends to be a conservative for money.

My Peapod grocery delivery did not come today! This is the first time this has happened. However, when they arrive with the groceries and you are not there, they leave your groceries in a crate...packed with DRY ICE! I hope I get home in time after work today and there'll be some left for me to play with.

I'm looking forward to another Blowoff this Saturday. No rugby this weekend, so I plan on sleeping in both Saturday and Sunday. Aaaah....

Posted by jimbo at 10:06 AM | Comments (9)

October 5, 2006

"the essential gay experience"

With the promise of a spring 2007 launch of the off-Broadway musical version of 'Xanadu', my early 90s gay genes kick in and start screaming "OMG fabulous"! But what Olivia Newton-John, Kylie Minogue, Madonna and Xanadu mean to me may not mean very much to either the young'uns or the older folks amongst Our People.

Uffish had an interesting post where she talks about a young gay coworker who didn't know who Erasure was. Yes, it's a ghastly crime to be ignorant of such things, but when Chris and I proselytize about "the essential gay experience" required to retain your 'gay card', we are being no different than those who forced me to suffer though the two-hour movie classic 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?' and memorize all the crazy one-liners, or a grating all-night Norma Shearer film festival. Yes, they are camp classics, I understand. But camp is...so 70s. I came out in the 90s, where Vogueing, Freedom Rings and spiked hair was the thing. I could not relate to Bette Davis films, the importance of disco classics, and speaking with a constant stream of sexual innuendo inserted into every conversation. People my age and younger less likely to act like Charles Nelson Reilly or Paul Lynde. People my age are different, and people 10 years younger than me are different too. "The gay experience" means something different to each new generation of queers that comes out - which kinda proves that subscribing to any such set of cultural artifacts and norms is kinda moot. In a conversation last night with a very handsome and insightful bearded hottie, we talked about the things we did when we came out, how hard we tried to "be gay," only to find out in the end that we still liked the things we used to do when we thought we were straight. In the end, you still are who you were, just with a taste for man-cock and hard, hairy bodies - at from my experience anyway.

And for the Celtic experience, I'm going to the Maryland Renaissance Festival this Sunday with Chad for some kilt action hopefully as hot as this:

Anyone got a kilt or two me and Chad can borrow? Hot picture of woofy drunk kilted hottie stolen from Josh & Josh Are Rich and Famous, top ON-J photo by Blogstar Brettie taken last year at the fucking awesome Olivia Newton-John concert in Baltimore.

Posted by jimbo at 10:25 AM | Comments (7)

October 4, 2006

I 'heart' Jason

BUTT Magazine, a fantastic pocket-sized magazine for homosexuals, features my scruffy buddy Jason as the promotional poster boy this month. They use Courier font on their website, so you know it's an underground 'zine and all that.

Posted by jimbo at 9:11 AM | Comments (7)

October 3, 2006

taking it to the bridge, chorus, and city hall

Sometimes in the morning when I wake up, I have to think: should I take it to the bridge, or take it to the chorus? Life is full of decisions...

Taking it to the background chorus on my new fave show Heroes last night was Wendy & Lisa of Prince's Revolution. Apparently they've been making the rounds on scores and soundtracks lately, from Dangerous Minds to Showtime's Carnivale. They've also apparently worked with Doyle Bramhall, said to be a great CD that shows their influence as backup. They're also all over Neil Finn's (Crowded House) "One Nil" or "One All" CD from a few years ago.

I love all the stench coming from The Hill these days. The sound of party implosion is DELICIOUS! Say it again for me y'all, slowly, with feeling: DEE-LICCH-USSS! Just remember, when the evil empire has crumbled, don't make the same mistakes you did before. The Class Matters website has some really interesting insights for progressive activists, whether they are low-income, middle class or rich white folks.

There are some good, effective bureaucrats out there, however. Take DC goverment uber-hottie and all-around effective guy DanTan. Now that MetroRail can't have him, we will be blessed with his efficiency, clean-cut woofishness, and mezmerizing blue eyes for Fenty's term as Washington's city administrator. The Shallow Party of DC supports this appointment, and also the election of adorable cutie-pie Sam Brooks of Ward 3, especially in lieu of his crazy-ass megalomaniac Internet stalker opponent of the same ward...sadly, there are no equally cute candidates in my ward.

Speaking of an anticipated groundswell of hotness and cuteness, here's all of your answers to questions regarding the opening of Nellie's Sports Bar in the OFFICIAL NELLIE'S PRESS RELEASE after the break...

November 13, 2006

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Douglas Schantz: 202-297-1476

New Sports Bar to be One ‘Nellie’ of a Good Time

WASHINGTON—It is no longer uncommon to hear of a new business opening in DC’s vibrant U Street corridor. Nellie’s Sports Bar, however, will be the first establishment in the area to combine sports, good food, and fun in a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere.

Local fundraiser and former ad exec Doug Schantz has partnered with Silver Spring restaurateur Rocio Anzola, of the popular “Cubanos,” to bring this exciting sports scene to the Dupont/Logan/U Street community. Located in an historic former photography studio at the corner of 9th and U Streets, Nellie’s Sports Bar will be open seven days a week, serving a wide array of fresh food and drink. Schantz said that Nellie’s will also host events for local sports teams, alumni groups, and charities.

“Nellie’s Sports Bar will be the premier local venue to catch the game, no matter what the sport,” Schantz said. “We care about our customer’s viewing tastes. Our web site will allow sports fans to request their favorite sporting events and to reserve space on one of our many large plasma screen TVs.,” he said.

The name “Nellie’s” is a salute to Schantz’s great- and great-great-grandmothers, who were both named Nellie. The new sports bar was inspired in part by their whimsical and hospitable personalities.

“Nellie’s Sports Bar will be a great spot to grab a drink, even if you aren’t into watching sports,” Schantz added. The restaurant features soaring ceilings, antique décor, and an expansive roof-top deck that will allow guests to absorb the sites of the city from above.

“At Nellie’s, our goal is to be a great spot for friends to gather, relax, and enjoy a few drinks and some excellent food,” Schantz said. Co-owner Rocio Anzola has used her flare for cuisine to design an eclectic menu that will feature both sports bar favorites and lighter fare.

Nellie’s sports bar will open in mid-November of 2006. In addition to providing both indoor and outdoor spaces for private gatherings, the sports bar will feature weekly theme nights as well as larger events such as a Super Bowl party and a monthly “Hearts” card tournament that will benefit local charities. The restaurant is conveniently located at 900 U Street, NW, one block from the U Street/African American Civil War Memorial/Cardozo Metro Station. For more information, contact Nellie at nellies.sportsbar@gmail.com or visit the restaurant’s web site at www.nelliessportsbar.com.

Posted by jimbo at 9:45 AM | Comments (10)

September 22, 2006

weekend plans

This Saturday we have home matches against Rappahannock (a local league team) and the Atlanta Bucks (a hot gay team who came to play with us). Kickoff for Rappahannock is Noon at Colmar Manor Park. Kickoff against the Bucks follows immediately after the Rappahannock match finishes. Social to follow at Titan around 3 or 4ish.

Tonight we meet 'n greet the Bucks at the now dark but more spacious Titan at 7ish. I had a stressy week and don't know if I'm gonna go. We'll see how I feel when I get home tonight, if I don't pass out entirely.

I think a buncha us geeks are going to the Rennaissance Fair out in Maryland, which is always a hoot. I hope to see muscular men in kilts, and throw some axes or shoot an arrow at targets (not the men in kilts).

Posted by jimbo at 4:27 PM | Comments (2)

September 13, 2006

lust du jour

I don't watch NASCAR racing and such, but Paul Menard, age 24, of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. racing is pretty wurfy:

It is good to see Wisconsin's Dick Trickle is still remembered though. I recall seeing him race at the LaCrosse International Speedway when I was a wee jimbo.

Posted by jimbo at 8:33 AM | Comments (2)

September 2, 2006

likes, dislikes

What I like:

Eureka on Sci-Fi, because it's a fun show and has two super-hotties on it, Ed Quinn and Colin Ferguson.

A list of what I don't like at the moment:

Posted by jimbo at 12:10 PM | Comments (3)

September 1, 2006

pictures from the no-'tude tubing trip

Here's us squealing like little girls as we hit some rapids:

Burl and Nick:

Eric and Tos moments before I embarassed Eric with compliments:

More Eric and Tos:

Piranhas are chewing on Sean, making him panic in the water, as Nick laughs:

Carl looks like a cute little duckie in this picture:

TJ looks HOT in his personal flotation device. Nice chest fur too:

More pictures here and here. Have a good Labor Day weekend!

Posted by jimbo at 8:51 AM | Comments (3)

August 27, 2006

unwarranted ass-fingering

Due to an overwhelming amount of comment SPAM, I've had to shut off comments and trackbacks until further notice. In the course of a mere hour I can get up to two dozen adSPAMs that I have to clear out manually, which is a pain in the ass. Some of it is really filthy porn, stuff even I wouldn't care to look at. The rest is mainly for performance enhancing drugs and gambling for the most part.

My weekend got better after Friday, where I broke my vow yet again to not to go to Woof at Titan. It was like a sweaty blast furnace in there, an environment where I wouldn't even confine an Iraqi prisoner as it was so inhumane. But I felt compelled to go as the rugby team was putting on a fundraiser, but all I did was try to find a cooler spot to stand. On my search I got my ass fingered twice as it was so corwded, not in a good way either. I don't mind it if my friends do it as a salutation, but when strangers try to do it all I can wonder is "What kind of reaction are you expecting?" Although some strangers were civil and did give a simple and courteous 'hello', which was nice. I got out of there as soon as possible, where the humid DC weather was actually cooler than inside. I don't dislike people, but I do dislike unnecessary heat, humidity, crowds and unwarranted ass-fingering.

On Saturday I went on a nice tubing trip down the Upper Potomac near Harper's Ferry, West Virginia, with a few scruffy bloggers, partners, and friends. In contrast to the last tubing trip I went on, conversation was pleasant and the floaters were predominantly furry, including TJ, Jason and Steve, Copperred Carl and several others. I embarassed Tos' partner by commenting on his wonderful blond chest fur. We took pictures with waterproof disposable cameras, which I have taken to the photomat to be developed and posted later this week. The water was low, but warm, and the scenery was nice all around.

Posted by jimbo at 9:18 PM | Comments (0)

August 25, 2006

more to chew on

A deluge of comment and backtrack SPAM attacks to this blog has me scrambling to clean it up as it comes in, even though we have MT Blacklist installed. Thus my blogging energy is being sucked up by heavy maintenance. If it continues I might have to close the comments, but usually it abates after a while. Anyway, for lack of pith, I give you this:

Here's to All-American college boys with woofy facial hair. I don't know who he is, so don't ask.

I am feeling better. The green guk has gone down. Our gas is restored. I have hot water. But I'm still crazed at work and it's taken a week to re-adjust from vacation. I didn't know I needed one so bad until I got to Provincetown.

Posted by jimbo at 12:23 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 17, 2006

OMG (a very drunk post)

OMG shoes:

I now have new semi-casual shoes, and new running shoes. I think I have too many shoes.

OMG cute gay pug:

Today was Carnival parade, the theme was Gay Paris and all that. The pug was cute.

OMG Rusty:

Rusty had to like call Chrisafer and say "OMG jimbo is here!" and to like discover, horror of horrors, that I DON'T HAVE A CELL PHONE! And Rusty says, "Jimbo, you're not as Bearish as I thought!" Thanks, betch.

OMG Cyndi:

CYNDI FUCKING LAUPER! Note To Bear Bodyguards Around Cyndi: Listen, I'm Scrummy, betch, and if you think you can shove me away from Her Unusualness you have another thing coming. I have a high-performance camera - this ain't no cell phone camera, betch - and I'm going to fucking use it on Cyndi, OK? Pappa-fucking-razzi, so suck my cock. Just put your feeble shoving back in your little Oshkosh B'Gosh overall pants pocket and suck it, because my shove is your love and you can't move me away because I'm Scrummy, betch!

OMG Drunk People in Line:

We were brought together by a 40 minute wait for expensive drinks.

OMG more Drunk People:

This is Brad from DC. And because I look good in this picture.

OMG even more Drunk People:

I'm with the fucking DJ, betch.

Posted by jimbo at 7:58 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

August 13, 2006

Ya tebye pokazhu Kuzkenu matb!

I've been yearning for years to make a blog post from a popular gay beach, opening the blog entry with some pretentious phrase in a foreign language that makes an obtuse reference to the theme of my blog entry that no one really understands, and now I can. My life is nearly complete because of it.

Here's the view from our skylight in Provincetown. I have a fairly spacious pad, at a reasonable price in a good location. Not bad for a breakup special. I am here on the graces of one half of a breakup. The other flew off magnanimously and left me the space, so it was a bit cheaper than normal:


It took me like 20 minutes to find the best image manipulation program installed on a basic Windows/PC setup that does not have Photoshop, what a pain in the ass. Anyway, once I figured it out I can now post pictures of Dreamy Ron in his Speedos for those of you who asked:



Ron and I are an excellent tag-team pair of wingmen for each other, to put it nicely. And people here are so friendly to both of us!


Thus far I am the whitest creature on the beach, next to the beluga whale carcass that washed up earlier this week. With daily applications of sun and fun, this will change. Provincetown is very different than Washington, DC. Let's count the ways:

People are friendly and return a sincere "hello," rather than either ignoring you outright or saying hello so they can get your real estate portfolio. Even my snooty neighbors, who could not even return a nod on the street back in DC, stopped and chatted for 20 minutes! What's up with that?

It smells like brine here, the sky is clear, the air is very fresh (but briny), and it is nearly silent at night.

There are lots of gay couples on vacation here.

There are friendly Russian summer workers here, with whom I have been exercising my fading Russian language skills. The post entry tagline references a taunt declared by Nikita Kruschev in response to American aggression, that loosely translates to "Yo Mama" or "I will fucking crush your ass into paste." The metaphor I wish to express in its use is to declare a challenge to those who would tarnish my honor and integrity just to avoid addressing their own long-ignored issues.

Man, there's like a million supa-hot guys here and they are flirty, friendly and are total whores and don't bat an eye, and I love it.

I feel like I've been sucked into a time warp and am back in the 70's or something, but I'm playing safe and having lots of fun. And boy did I need an ego boost.

Posted by jimbo at 7:41 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

August 11, 2006

friday 'stache orgazmaganza

Here's my Daddylicious and former blogger friend Bubba from Houston. Only the two images to the right are original, but I used the rubber stamp tool in Photoshop to porn'stachify the image on the left to illustrate the true 70s Porn Star 'Stache look. Now we love the fu and the woofy beard, but I had to show what this week's look was about:


It is important to point out the nice work shirts Bubba is wearing in the photos. Gurl, take me shopping with you!

I would have to say this woofer, posing in front of a surrey with a fringe on top, is the 70s Porn 'Stache Week winner for rockin' the 'stache so well with his whole look:



Finally, here's an unrelated photo of me at the Nats game on Wednesday's Night Out with the Nationals at RFK stadium taken by Dinger. I think that's clickboo in the background:

I look so stern focusing on the delightful cotton crack sold there. I think it cost like $14.50 or something.

Tomorrow I'm off to Provincetown for a week. Gotta get up at a godawful early hour to take off from Dull-ass Airport to get through the anti-gel security. I won't be packing lube in my carry-on.

Posted by jimbo at 6:53 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 10, 2006

no hair gel for you

I guess one good thing about this recent Red Alert is that we'll see MORE 70s porn star 'staches in the news, as with this woofer, Mr. James Adrian, LAPD. I guess it's a fitting news story to go along with this week's theme.

As I recall during the heightened security alert immediately following 9/11, there was eye candy all over the place in DC, from the hot muscley air marshals to numerous woofy National Guardsmen scattered around DC and in the Metrorail stations.

However, as some people have commented, Lieberman (basically Republican) Loss + BP Oil Leak + Lame Excuse to Raise Oil Prices = Red Alert. Until I see faces and proof, I just don't believe it. The news this week was too devastating to the powers that be for it to be mere coincidence.

So in addition to having my cherished nose hair trimming scissors confiscated if I accidentally pack it in my carry on and/or having to take my shoes off because of that one moron with the shoe bomb, now we are all going to die of dehydration on the plane AND have NO HAIR GEL:

The Transportation Security Administration announced that passengers on all U.S. flights, domestic and international, would be banned from transporting any type of liquid or gel in their carry-on luggage. The ban applies to all types of beverages, shampoo, toothpaste, hair gels and other items of a similar consistency, the TSA announced.

I can live without my hair gel during the flight, but I always pack a liter bottle of water, as the 1/4 cup of soda they give us is never enough for me, and sometimes I need more. Flights dehydrate me. So those airlines better frikkin' deliver more soda and water if I can't bring it on the plane myself. Pretty soon we'll all just be packaged in shrink wrap, put in a box, which are then put in protective compartments like egg cartons so we cannot endanger ourselves on a flight.

Speaking of water, today's second 70s porn star 'stache is of some goofy Navy SEAL, but I don't know who he is, so don't ask, as I wouldn't tell anyway. He's cute though. The last guy is from The Mopod Show's Woof of the Week BigMuscleBear profile.

Anyway, today's porn star 'stache theme is "blond 'staches".

Posted by jimbo at 11:48 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

August 9, 2006

porn star 'stache: Josh Brolin

Today Otterdoc submits a pornalicious 'stached pic of Josh Brolin from an indie film called Coastlines apparently released this summer but made the Sundance rounds some 3 years ago. 'Doc loves the combo of CHiPs-era uniform with navy-cop brawn. Although he doesn't have the hirsute potential of his dad, there's plenty there for porn stache qualification. 'Doc's crush goes all the way back to Goonies.


Rant du jour to follow in the extended entry later today...

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August 8, 2006

70's Porn Star 'Stache Blogger Edition

While the fu-manchu or handlebars doesn't really qualify as an official Porn Star Mustache, here's my attempt at a look a few years ago. In my opinion, a good Porn Star 'Stache does not hang over the sides of the mouth, and does not include the ultra-hip soul patch. Nor is it necessarily wooly or bushy. If I was a porn star, my name would be Brent Silver, fyi.

Now here's Daddy Eric rockin' a fine example of a Porn Star 'Stache. Considering his recent encounter with a twink who referred to him as 'Daddy', I think he should keep the look. With a buzzed head and constant state of scruff, he should not be surprised at being referred to as someone of imposing authority.

Now here's Joe.My.God rocking a near perfect porn star 'stache with Dreamy Dreamboat openly gay New York Attorney General candidate Sean Patrick Maloney. Cue cheesy Casio porn score. I'll bet Sean Patrick could grow a fine porn star 'stache as well.

Here's a nice porntastic 'stache on my friend Cobban from Bisbee, Arizona. I met Cobban (pronounced CUB-ban) this March on my trip to the southwest. Cobban is a long-time admirer of Sam Elliott and his various 'stache incarnations. If you tell him he looks like a younger Sam Elliott, he will melt and be eternally grateful.

Remember, 'staches from the 80s or the Golden Era of Disco do not count! The Manhattan Offender submitted his recent shave-down, but the presence of surrounding scruff omits his submission from this category. The 'stache must stand alone. Chrisafer tells me "...lots of Hill staffers are having 'stache growing contests during the August recess", but I want to see photographic evidence of this.

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August 7, 2006

70's porn star 'stache week

I think it is going to be 70's porn star 'stache week, because I've actually seen people with them lately - even in stuffy clean-cut DC. I'll have to admit I'm delighted to see stuff like this appearing again:

Submissions welcome, but as with Rough Trade Week, some standards apply:

Photos must have been taken recently, not actually taken in the '70s.

Subjects must be 'stached and moderately hot, and preferrably a little trashy.

Cheesy porn star 'staches are best, but thick Tom Selleck 'staches are OK too. This week's theme is for both camp and woofy value together.

In other news, I took a peek at Who Wants to be a Superhero? last week. I was expecting a total trainwreck of a show, but it wasn't so bad. It was OK, but I wasn't convinced the contestants were actual people as opposed to actors. The whole thing seemed blatantly scripted with no spontaneity. Plus they booted off Levity, one of the 3 cute guys on the show. Fortunately Feedback is still on. Iron Enforcer is just too grotesquely 'roided out to be attractive. I wonder how small his balls are.

The second season of Flavor of Love, on the other hand, was wonderfully, horribly, embarrassing for the human race - and I couldn't stop watching it. Where do they get these women, why are they doing it, and are they really interested in being Flava Flav's wife?

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August 6, 2006

cell phone users are like cockroaches

Today I rode up the C&O Canal Towpath bike trail to my Secret Platform overlooking a pinch in the Potomac to try some fishing. Lo and behold, there was a fucking cell phone user there, blabbing away, on MY SECRET PRIVATE PLATFORM IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!! Now normally, nobody is ever there except the occasional fisherman. It is remote and private and quiet. But, like cockroaches, the cell phone users find a way, and one was there, having a VITAL conversation in the middle of the one tiny bit of wilderness allowed in DC. But also like a cockroach, he disappeared suddenly and without a trace as well, which was kinda wierd because I didn't even see him leave.

Anyway, I brought my fishing pole and was trying to catch fish, but only got a few interested glances from small bass. Kind of like when I went out to Cobalt Saturday night with a buncha Chupacabra-tequila-drinkin' queens to go shake it to the groovy tunes of OMG DJ TM™, which was very fun, but boy did I hurt this morning. Thanks to Homer who brought the troublesome liquid in the first place. Man, that brand is smoove, but devastating. Good stuff.

Friday evening I went to go see The Oh in Ohio featuring Liza Minelli, Parker Posey and a hot bearded Paul Rudd:

I liked it, and my review of it is featured on Queer Beacon.

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August 4, 2006

a rhetorical analysis of George Michael's rant in the park

Now what kind of eco-freak in DC would recommend that someone plant a sod roof and use it as a prairie chicken habitat?

I assured Mari that the introduction of the Greater Prairie Chicken (Tympanuchus cupido pinnatus) into Shaw would guarantee some very early morning wake-up calls.

Speaking of wake-up music, OMG DJ TM™ is spinning this Saturday at Cobalt. I plan on going to shake it, pre-disco cocktails at my place beforehand. I certainly have plenty, as I didn't bring any booze along with the small horde I invited with me to Chris and Chrisafer's party. Mental note: it is rude not to bring alcohol to a party, especially when you're also bringing 20 other people...

The dude with the porn star 'stache playing Albert Einstein at the Keegan Theatre's production of Steve Martin's Picasso at the Lapin Agile is kinda hot. I'm just sayin'...

This dude on the right from MetroWeekly's Scene section is also kinda hot. I think he works out at my gym, and I was checking him out on Monday but wasn't sure if he was gay or not. Looks like it's time to head out to the Eagle some time soon...say hi from Jimbo if you know him. Speaking of the gym, my more regular attendance has got me down to my pre-P-Town goal of 175, from a winter weight of 180. Rugby doesn't necessarily keep the wieght down for some reason. It takes regular cardio to burn it off these days.

Let's take a close look at some of the things George Michael had to say to the press as they caught him cruising in a public park north of London, OK?

"I don't believe it!"

Believe it, Sister. What part of fame didn't you understand?

"This is my culture!"

Whose culture? Not mine. Like I've said before, no one is forcing you to subscribe to a certain set of behaviors, language or acts. Think of it as more of a buffet, where you may choose or reject the lima beans, Jell-O or red beets. (Mmm...beets).

I've seen this pitfall with acquaintances in the past. In one case, a guy was defending his drug use/abuse to his concerned family since doing drugs is part of being gay. Another guy I knew who also believed in that connection had to renounce being gay, since being gay meant going to clubs and going to clubs means doing drugs, so therefore if one has to kick drugs one needs to renounce being gay. Get it? And today he's no longer gay. Hey, if someone's got a substance abuse problem, I'm all for whatever it takes to kick it.

Anyhow, like the above examples, just because one is gay does not mean one must or has the right to cruise in the park. It just means you're into the hunt, or terribly desperate.

"I'm not doing anything illegal!"

Well George, I'm all for multiple use management of city, county, state and federal recreational property, but some uses are incompatible with other public uses. For example, you shouldn't allow hunting where there are campgrounds. Backcountry wilderness backpackers don't like the sound of ATVs or chainsaws. Likewise, dog walkers and people with children don't like to see your failed liposuction saddlebags jiggling in response to the carnal acts of a frumpy lorry driver working you up and down. Don't you have enough money to get yourself taken care of at home?

"I can do whatever I want!"

Of course you can. Start with a lampshade over your head and go from there.

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August 1, 2006

on interpersonal miscibility potential in varying social groupings

Some more photos, courtesy of mean old Homer from the weekend. This is me at Kennilworth Park & Aquatic Gardens checking out the impressive giant lotus plants:


Here jimbo realizes the A/C is down as Dreamy Ron smiles on. Ron has nice sugar tits and biceps like giant juicy albino kumquats. Conclusion of the party soon to follow as the temperature rises.

I have since gotten a new window unit. I recall that my air conditioner broke around this time last year too. Apparently Homer brought the Tucson heat with him, but eventually admitted ours was worse due to the humidity. Let's hope it's not this hot until mid-August. But then again, I'm off to Provincetown with Dreamy Ron by then, so who gives a frak!

Despite the heat, my guests got along well. I like to get all my disparate groups of friends together from the various facets of my life, be it rugby, D&D, neighbors, blog friends, or work. They probably get along that way in a party setting because they all have a Jimbo in common. This sometimes gives me a utopian view of how things actually work in non-jimbo settings where these disparate groups of people may not always mix so well. Why shouldn't everyone get along like this? If I was the Ultimate Ruler of the Universe they would get along and everyone would be nice to each other - or else. But life doesn't always work that way, and the miscibility of different kinds of people in non-jimbo settings isn't always so smooth.

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July 28, 2006

bunny butt

I think bunny butts are cute too.

Gawd, this blog is going downhill fast...

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July 26, 2006

Rough Trade Wednesday

Photo courtesy of Jocko and my inability to focus on my term paper and work. Again, I don't know who he is. Me and Jocko trade Trade pics sometimes.

Before any of you submit your favorite Rough Trade Week Submissions, let's look closely at what Rough Trade really is, at least in my book.

Is a Bear an example of Rough Trade? The answer is no. Like drag queens are to femininity, Bears are a parody of masulinity. Scratch beneath the surface (a few inches or feet if you will) and he's still a JRs cocktail queen, only hairy and X-Large. Plus, despite their forced appearance of blue collar status via a group-identified uniform percieved to be masculine, many Bears are highly educated or cultured, which disqualifies them for Rough Trade status.

Is a leather queen Rough Trade? Again, no. It is yet another form of drag, not the real thing. While leather queens and Bears can be quite hot, neither are Rough Trade.

Rough Trade Is:
- unpolished, untrimmed, uncultured, unfinished, uneducated;
- frequently inked;
- calloused, in every sense of the word;
- the real deal;
- preferrably dumb, or at least dumb-looking;
- good with hands, blue collar profession;
- doesn't give a shit;
- flawed in some easily visible way (snaggleteeth, wart, scar, etc.) but wears it well.

Rough Trade Is Not:
- perfect, groomed, or attended to;
- something attempted, it is what it is;
- inked or blinged with anything symbolic or meaningful;
- a parody or an affected archetype;
- necessarily overtly masculine or hypermasculine.

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July 25, 2006

Rough Trade Tuesday

I have nothing to blog about, so what the hell. Let's make it a Rough Trade Tuesday as well.

Just an image I found on the Internets...don't know who he is.

Jeez, I'm feeling pressured to make this Rough Trade Week. Submissions welcome.

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July 24, 2006

Rough Trade Monday

Image of Chris Meloni as rough trade snatched from the Queer Beacon review of the very bad film Wet Hot American Summer:

"Hi Mom, this is Chris. He's a short order cook."

Yeah.

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July 18, 2006

A Stalker's Pledge

No Harm Shall Visit The Bamber
for as long as I breathe.
His Auburn Halo shall glow for me.
His scruff forever present,
hot British accent barely held in check.

Hey Bamber Stalkers...a larger desktop version of this image with hi-rez scruff and chest fur can be found here.

Just ignore the inane Out magazine copy text, which undoubtedly conjectures whether or not Bamber is gay, whether or not Apollo is gay, blah blah blah. Neither are, but hotness sells magazines.

As my husband, The Bamber transcends gay/straight labeling. He is simply mine.

From Carl, some more definitions...I'm definitely guilty on both counts of being both a Cuddleslut and a Cuddlewhore. I was once most impressed by a very memorable Christmas trick way back when where the guy made it clear beforehand that he was a Cuddlewhore, and also made me pledge ahead of time that we would cuddle afterwards. That's my kind of guy.

Cuddleslut: A guy who loves to cuddle after sex, even if it's just a hookup. Can be a challenge to get rid of, though usually a spritz from a water bottle will get them out, just like a kitty out of the fish pudding. They must give off some sort of vibe, as they drive even average people to letting strangers stay the night. Even I've been seduced, and liked it.

Cuddlewhore: A guy who hooks up with you only for the purpose of cuddling afterward. Can often be a touch sanctimonious, as they feel they've "paid" for the cuddling, by putting out. The water spritz won't work. There may not be a way out, as far as I'm aware. Prepare for dreams of gnawing your own arm off, and pray you brought a sedative.

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July 10, 2006

bring your hottie to USDA day

When I go to my credit union to cash a check or whatnot, I'll often have lunch with a rugby teammate who works there. I'm a member of this credit union where I used to work (USDA) back in tha day. Today must have been Bring Your Hottie To Work Day today at USDA, for in the period of a mere lunch break, I spotted SIX USDA hotties. I worked there for 2 years and never saw that many when I was an employee.

Or maybe everyone looks like a hottie since my mojo was lost some time in March, I think somewhere in Tuscon. I told Homer to e-mail it back to me in the form of a compressed .zip file, but he hasn't complied yet. I hope he brings it with him at the end of this month when he visits. I would like my mojo back.

Apparently JoeMyGod was homebound much of the weekend as he kept sending me YouTube gems like this one of a cute furry red-bearded bearcub lip-synching 'You Made Me Gay' with Yukon Cornelius. I find his buzzcut contrasted with wooly beard, plus his slightly crossed eyes to be somehow attractive. Although my favorite from the Bears Gone Wild series is the one of the bear recanting Fiona Apple's memorable Grammy acceptance rant. If you caught the original, the cover is even more hilarious.

And speaking of hotties...introducing yet another gay Scandinavian blogger from DC - Swede and Czech.

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June 29, 2006

More Hot Jews

Gabe Kapler of the Boston Red Sox shaved his head this season. While he's neither furry nor very scruffy, now he's a hot muscle Daddy with big guns:
I hadn't posted anything of shallow content lately, so I just thought I'd keep up the good work:

Oh, the chin, and the grin! GRRRR!

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June 20, 2006

Stanley Cup furgasm

Congrats to the Carolina Hurricanes, a sun belt team, who beat out the long-established Edmonton Oilers last night in the Stanley Cup finals. Didn't hear about it? It wasn't even covered in the Washington Post Express this morning, but there were 4 pages of World Cup semifinal news. I guess hockey just isn't that big around here. Turns out the Jimbo pick, Cam Ward, was the player of the game, in addition to being quite woofy for a 22 year-old.
Yeah, drink it:

And after their victory, there was a furgasm on the ice:

When I was in undergrad back in 1990 or so, I lived on the hockey wing of my university. We had division III champions, many of whom were imported from Canada. I was not out of the closet then, but it is no surprise that I came out not long after. At the time when I was living with all of them, I would avert my eyes in the group shower, and would avoid looking into their open dorm room doors to avoid seeing them shirtless kicking back watching television, all scruffy and furry. D'OH! If I could turn back time.

Last evening we had several nice downpours in the area that gave the soil a much needed soaking. I took this picture at the College Park MetroRail station on the Green Line last night:

My plants are thick and green today, and nothing clears the snot out of your head like a run over a misty post-thunderstorm Rock Creek Park.

Thought of the Day: Did we ever find out who did the whole anthrax in the mail thing? How come our politicians never talk about it anymore? Is our mail system safe? Who did it? Does anyone care? I still think about it.

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June 15, 2006

batboy tackles drunk

This morning I was watching the usual blather on the Today show, and they showed a clip from a Red Sox/Twins baseball game from last night. The Red Sox batboy tackled a drunk who had run onto the field. I noticed it was a perfectly executed rugby tackle, and my suspicions were confirmed by this story:

Nate Reese, a 25-year-old batboy made a tackle on a fan who jumped on the field in the eighth inning.

"Play of the game," Twins reliever Joe Nathan said.

It occurred with David Ortiz at the plate. Two spectators jumped out of the stands and began to run across the outfield, avoiding six not-so-nimble security guards.

One ran by Torii Hunter, giving the affable Twins center fielder a high five. The other headed toward the infield, rounded third and belly flopped on the plate.

As soon as he got to his feet, Reese leveled him and drew a standing ovation.

"There weren't any guards around, so I just thought I'd hit him," said Reese, who was a wrestler in high school and played rugby in college.

"Rugby?" Hunter said to Reese. "You stuck him like you played football, perfect form."

Hunter doesn't know what he's talking about - from the clip I could see it was a perfectly excecuted rugby tackle right there at home plate. Good on ya, Nate.

It's Stanley Cup time, and do you know what that means? PLAYOFF SCRUFF! There's even an obsessive hockey fan blog on the topic, playoffbeard.com.

Tomorrow night OMG DJ Timothy Mykael is spinning at Cobalt, and has sent me a JIMBO.INFO exclusive sneak-peek at some of the track list highlights:

Bananarama - Look on the Floor (Hyptonic Tango)
Bette Midler - Fever
Chelo - Cha Cha
Destiny's Child - Girl
Faith Evans - Mesmerized
Gustavo Santaolalla - The Wings
Heather Small - Proud
Kelly Clarkson - Walk Away
Natasha Bedingfield - The One That Got Away
Paris Hilton - Stars are Blind
Pink - Stupid Girls
Rhianna - SOS
The Pussycat Dolls - Buttons

He also promises a few brand new ones and some old classics. OMG!

Dan "Eyes of Smouldering Emeralds*" Tangherlini (or DanTan* as me and Carl refer to the interim WMATA manager) thinks entertainment in the MetroRail system would make things "more fun or interesting or peaceful." I can only imagine my peaceful subway experience with one of those annoying paint bucket drummers filling the station with uninspired rhythms, then having to listen to the summer interns (Jennifers**) as they screech even louder to be heard over the beat.

* I'd better get credit for that term if it shows up elsewhere. Fifty bucks says either phrase ends up in the mainstream press within a month - mark my words.

** The term "Jennifer" was originally coined by Chrisafer, meaning any random 20something new to DC with an internship on the Hill. Jennifer usually has a boyfriend named Mike, and is really loud in large groups and at gay bars.

According to JoeMyGod, Prince will be performing in Bryant Park tomorrow (Friday June 16) sometime between 7-9AM on the Good Morning America show.

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June 13, 2006

various and sundry rants and woofy pictures

An assortment of rants, judgements, thoughts and woofy pictures today. Clearly I am feeling needy and a bit cranky today:

If you are a friend, former lovah, or strong acquaintance of mine and "keep up" with me by reading my blog, it is still no subsitute for a personal e-mail or phone call, which I really do appreciate from time to time. It makes me feel special when you give an unwarranted call or e-mail me directly, with a "Hey Jimbo" in the salutation line. Think about it: via my blog you are looking at me in a room through a one-way mirror. I don't know you're there.

If you once promised to meet up with me and did not show up with no explanation, and then don't follow up with with an e-mail or call as to why, resentment will build. As it stands, you're on shaky ground already, buster.

This is James Denton, from that one really popular show that I don't watch. And please don't tell me I need to watch it, thanks. But I will watch him. Nice beard, fly haircut too. Thanks to Otterdoc for the scruffy submission.

Props to all the nice normal well-adjusted humans who have approached me in various social settings and in the gym to say, "Hello, I just wanted to say I read your blog..." I appreciate it, and no I don't think you're wierd. Scowls and frowns to those of you who read my blog but just look at me strangely in bars.

The weather this spring continues to be incredible, uncharacteristically cool and dry so far. My best spring yet in DC, hands down. No swamp ass whatsoever!

Homer is coming to visit in late July. Yaaay!

On Bigmuscle.com and Bigmusclebears.com, why do hot guys from Los Angeles, New Orleans and Atlanta give me an 'I Like' but hot guys from Washington, D.C., San Francisco and Seattle do not? What is the relation between city demographic, general friendliness and attraction to Jimbo?

OMG DJ Timothy Mykael is spinning this Friday at Cobalt. I will be going. He sent me a secret bonus track that he might play, a remix of Heather Small's "Proud," the Pride '06 version. Two and a half rotations of it (7:11) fueled a wonderful run over the Rock Creek bridges into Adam's Morgan last night through the wonderful dry, cool air. There are awfully handsome men at my gym these days. For some reason DC got prettier over the summer.

So if a person cannot get laid at a big giant gay rugby tournament, a big bear dance party, various Blowoffs, at gay pride, nor at a farm full of gay men, does that mean his Aura of Desperation has now become visible in broad daylight? Is there a large tumor or ectoparasite sticking out of the side of my face? Do I spit when I talk? Do I have bad breath or something? Are my horns showing? Do people have a problem with my moles? I don't know what the fuck is up lately, but it's been quite a dry spell. Today after lunch, Chrisafer's partner captured this palpable Aura of Desperation on film. Gurl came up for lunch gossip and gabbing too:

This is, I think, Ben Roethlisberger and his hot football coach Mr. Cowher. Imagine the two together. Ben has most recently been shaggy, but I don't mind the ornery buzzcut look either. Ben got in a motorcycle accident recently. He was not wearing a helmet.

I've heard a lot less griping this year from gay people about how press and newspaper photos focus on the leather and drag queens at Pride. I think many people have realized that we are not being accepted as "normal," will never pass for Ward and June Cleaver, and people have realized that we are actually different from straight people, and that the point of Pride is to celebrate this difference. Think of it more as 'Freak Pride', because if we can't celebrate the freaky people, then there's no room for gays in the freak room either.

And I also noticed that we celebrate this difference with much more fun and fabulousness than The Others ever could. We really are good at whimsy, fun and being fabulous. Grumpy 'normal' gays need to realize that and appreciate it.

But my personal tolerance for difference stops at popped collars on polo shirts. Please, someone make it stop. And men with Capri pants. And those stained straw cowboy hats that were so over in 2002. And trucker caps. And overalls with no shirt or underwear underneath. And jelly bracelets. And anything that reminds me what I wore in the early 80s the first time around.

Photo snatched from the Post a few weeks ago, of some cops from Fairfax. Someone said I look like the cop on the right:

Yes, it has been about complacency, I think. We became complacent during the Clinton years, and now we are starting to realize people still hate us for being different, and that they do not understand us at all. That is why we enjoyed Pride so much this year, and better appreciate the drag queens and leather queens. I guess we can thank W for revealing what we were ignoring in the past. It is easier to think everything is fine, but it isn't, and better the devil you know than the devil you don't.

Regardless, I still need to get laid some time soon.

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June 8, 2006

Ben Cohen makes my smurf itch

When I posted that picture of Ben Cohen earlier this week I was amazed so many of y'all didn't know about him. There are tons 'o images on BenCohen.com and at texkenobi's flickr site for all you fur-o-philes out there. He's quite the exhibitionist. And can you believe a 230-pound guy plays wing? Lookit all this wet man-fur:

Have a good weekend at Pride.

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June 5, 2006

I am so scene

Despite senseless deaths in Iraq, our idiot President protecting us from the horrors of gay marriage, and other various and sundry portents of doom, we are lucky to have pictures of England rugby's Ben Cohen in underwear on the Internets to help us forget such things:

Ben has the most adorable little kid smile complimented by a lush growth of chest fur, accentuated with a distinct and imminently lickable treasure trail. Shoulders like breakfast-sized bran muffins too.

I went to see Kathy Griffin last night at the Warner Theatre with a bunch of catty queens, and it was a lot of fun. Her routine was LONG, and we certainly got our money's worth from the show. I laughed a lot. I hope she kicks Ryan Seacrest's ass some day (again).

Before that I was a big giant queen and had two big girly cosmos at Halo. We were discussing that apparently some people loathe Halo for some reason. I go there because it's smoke free, and there are usually fewer overly-drunk twinks there who can't handle their booze, because the booze there ain't cheap, so it keeps the cheapos out of the place. Apparently some people avoid going there for fear of being perceived as in "the scene" too much, whatever that means. I am so scene. Fear this queen.

I remember shaking things up there this winter when I had a birthday gathering. Most of the guys who showed up to meet me were either on the rugby team or had facial hair. This was disturbing to the usual crowd at Halo, as one of whom approached us and said sibilantly, "Exssscussse me? Isss thisss Bear night or sssomething?" I love it.

I am going to see X-Men tonight. I hear that it isn't all that consisent with the comics, but these days not even the comics are consistent with the comics. There must be like a dozen X-titles out on the shelves these days. Do not be in shock that I haven't seen the film yet - I don't go opening weekends, or any weekends, for that matter as I don't like huge theatre crowds. Anyone using a cell phone in the theatre, as they usually do in DC, enrages me and it totally ruins the experience for me. On weeknights there are usually fewer opportunities for me to be enraged by movie theatre cell phone use.

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May 29, 2006

Memorial Day weekend

Hope your Memorial Day weekend was as good as mine:

I had no idea I was so red when I was walking around the View Bar on Saturday night. Joe told me the bar was usually reserved for off-duty porn stars and hookers, and we believe we saw one there, waiting around with his duty bag. I correctly predicted he wasn't going to get much business there that night due to the high availability of other less costly men, and I was right. The hooker left, out-marketed by the availability of sweaty hookers of a different kind.

The 2006 Bingham Cup was a lot of fun, and marked the arrival of hot summer temperatures. NY1 News managed to catch the only game I played in on film, video link included with the story - I think I'm number 14 in the fuzzy video. I was in an odd position as a sub on our A (Cup) side as it would have taken a mortal wound to take out anyone I could replace. But they toughed it through six dusty, hot matches regardless, and we came out 3rd in the Cup division, and the same with our Plate division. The Aussie Convicts won first in both, and the Boston Ironsides first in the Bowl division. I'll have to say that the most exciting match was us versus Manchester, with two nail-biting 'sudden death' match extensions due to a 3-3 tie, ultimately won by a penalty kick from our side. The most surprising ending was during our match against Gotham with a last-second 3-point drop kick from some 40 yards away by our miraculous Leprechaun scrumhalf, which secured a win. Joe and Eddie showed up for the nail-biting match, and I tried my best to explain what was going on and why people were spazzing out. I don't think they got it but they cheered for the hottie #13s on any side. The hottest teams of the tournament were certainly the Sydney Convicts and the brand new and totally muscular team from Cardiff. All blond and red-headed and cute as a button.

Later Saturday evening Glenn showed up at a social and I also got to meet Vasco, with whom I chatted for a while before the sunburn took me down. Glenn also came to watch a few matches on Sunday, and introduced me to Gayest Neil (partner of Plasicaisle) who played with the Gotham team. After the tournament matches were done I made an attempt at a disco nap so was up and ready for the closing party and XXL dance, where Joe and his dreamy friend Ken from Jersey arrived. Also in attendance were CSCFON and OMG Michael Hartney, who was unnerved by my girly screams due to his presence. I was able to out-geek the comic book fan with my vast knowledge of X-Men trivia. While I hear I need to suspend my historical knowledge of the Uncanny ones for X3, Michael was happy to learn that Juggernaut is Charles Xavier's brother, and that the Beast wasn't always so furry.

And speaking of furry, the XXL party was over the top. However, in terms of meeting new friends, my evening began with hitting on one of the few straight guys on one team (who was polite, but uninterested), and went downhill from there. Oh well, I got a lot of rest over the weekend anyway. But this Aussie got me riled up every time I saw him over the course of the weekend:

Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!
Oi! Oi! Oi!
Dreamy! Dreamy! Dreamy!
Woof! Woof! Woof!

Many more pictures from the tournament at the break, thanks to Blogstar Brettie for any pictures of me...

Psyching up for Saturday morning's matches, iPod mini product placement:


Me and Twan:


I think I had the ball in this photo, in a match against the Seattle Quake.


After the nail-biting double-sudden-death match against Manchester, I'm wondering if I had a heart attack just from watching. Manchester in the background to my left, the Renegades to my right:


My hat keeps me cool:


A particularly woofy ref:


My favorite Aussie, center, with red chest fur:


Aussies accepting their Cup win at the award ceremony:


Yet another scruffy Aussie:


Aussie accepting Plate win with Mark Bingham's mom, Alice Hoglan:


I'm trying to reprezent Tha DC but I can't get my fingers to twist correctly like Lora's:

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May 24, 2006

the sun dog days of spring

It has been a remarkably mild spring here in DC, an actual spring, probably the best one in my 10 years of living here. Usually the weather in this area goes from damp and cold straight to hot and muggy, but we've had almost a month of lovely dry, cool, and sunny weather. While the pollen earlier this spring kicked Bob's ass and many others, I experienced only a bit of extra phlegm in my throat, making for a husky singing voice during April. None of the usual sinus or lung infections I usually get from spring mold either. Maybe the long-term Allegra usage is finally kicking in, or the dry weather may have helped out too. And I've been significantly more robust and healthy since I got my tonsils removed in 2003. Like 185# robust and PALE, as seen in this unflattering MW photo of me and TJ at Blowoff last weekend, looking a lot like Sméagol and Déagol. Anyhow, it's been a good season this year, if not a bit nippy in the evenings. Last night at practice I spotted a sun dog on the horizon, an indicator of ice crystal formation in the upper atmosphere, so I guess the jet stream is still quite cold.

We leave Thursday for the big giant super-gay rugby tournament in NYC, coming back on Monday. I've been selected for the Cup or 'A' side team for the weekend, which was a surprise as I hadn't played much on our A-side all season. I'm told it was due to my flexibility with playing in several positions and the tournament rosters are locked. It will be challenging as we'll be up against the San Francisco Fog, London, and Seattle Quake teams on Friday, none of whom are pushovers. The tournament rounds continue through Sunday, starting at 9:30am each day. Match schedule is on the above link.

The Renegades are hosting a social Saturday evening at 8pm at The View Bar, 232 8th Ave., NYC. And I think I'll probably be going to the big, giant, super-gay Bear circuit party, XXL, on Sunday night in lieu of Allegria. I've been on enough Allegra this year already and can't take any more of it. I hope to meet up with Super-Dreamy Dawg, Joe, Glenn and especially Eric at the XXL party since Eric is now turning into a Bear.

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May 23, 2006

Shaw is the new Arlington

Yesterday afternoon I was set to meet up with Miss In Shaw for some happy hour fish 'n chips at a new "Irish Pub" called Duffy's, which is right across Vermont Ave. from the BackBar entrance of the 9:30 Club. As it's only 2 blocks from my house, it'll be a fun place to crash and drink good beer if they don't ban me from ripping on them later in this entry...

Upon entering I was immediately smiled - almost beamed - at by 4 modelesque women and one woofy scruffy Irish-looking guy. I knew something was wrong...in DC people don't beam at you when you enter an establishment. Instead they give you a not-so-subtle reading up and down and continue on with their conversations once having appraised your value to them. Clearly these beaming people wanted something, and that something was my marketing demographic information. For Miss In Shaw and I had stumbled upon a Guinness road show & promotion, and to take part in it I had to give them my demographic information. But I might have misspelled my e-mail address...

Anyway, all that meant was FREE BEER and all you had to do was listen to the woofy scruffy Irish-looking guy talk about Guinness. I don't know who the other people in the bar were or how they learned about it, but I assumed they were there to mooch beer too. No Guiness marketer really needs to waste their time on me. Lucky for me Miss Mari In Shaw doesn't drink beer, so I got her free beer, my free beer, and the beer samples to boot.

As for the atmosphere of Duffy's, I know they are going to do well as it's a good send-off point before any 9:30 Club concert - it's just across the street. Plus there are tons of new hipsters and yuppies in the 'hood all dying to pretend to be culturally aware and spend too much money on beer. However, as for it's status as an "Irish Pub," I'll have to agree with Agatha:

"A dive bar can easily be classed up for little money with the implementation of a Gaelic-style font in its logo and Guinness specials, preferably on "draught." The bar thus undergoes a metamorphisis from a lowly, smoke-filled rendezvous for the poor to a lowly, smoke-filled cultural experience -- usually for the poor as well."

In Duffy's case, the Harp's and Guinness posters and mirrors looked like they were drill-screwed into the wall just yesterday - and hastily at that. A bent screw does not need to accent a picture frame so clearly. And I couldn't shake the feeling that Duffy's was only just recently an Ethiopian khat den or restaurant, as the ceilings were high, white and made of those cheesy sound-proofing drop-ceiling tiles you always see in the U Street Ethiopian restaurants. Irish bars don't have high, white ceilings...Irish bar ceilings are low, smoky and usually made of some kind of dark wood.

Anyway, Miss In Shaw got me totally wasted - again! At one point when the woofy scruffy Irish-looking guy called for a toast, I followed up with a "HARRRR!" which almost got Mari to shoot Guinness out of her nose. That was fun.

The fakeness of PseudoIrish bars begs a question...is it Irish by virtue of it's customers, barkeepers, or by decor? Is a gay bar still a gay bar if it's full of straight people, yet a mirrored disco ball still hangs from the ceiling? Discuss.

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May 21, 2006

Britney is the new hiring specialist at JimboCorp

From Le Gossip: pictures of Britney's new male nanny ('manny') who appears to be a hot red-head Jew. And from Pink Is The New Blog, Britney's new woofy bodyguard (scroll down a bit), replete with 70's porn star 'stache.

Britney, if you choose not to return to pop stardom, you have a place as a hiring specialist in HR at JimboCorp. I like what you do.

Friday: passed out when I got home from working late.
Saturday: worked a few hours, then got ready for the Fair Wisconsin thing. Upon entering Halo the first thing I noticed was that all the Cheeseheads in attendance looked genetically identical. Height ranging only from 5'4" to 5'10", hair light to dark blond, all blue eyed. There really is a Wisconsin 'type' for sure.

Some friends met up with me there and we were all surprised to end up at JRs for a few more cocktails, but by 11 the smoke and crowd started to build up there, so I had to leave. But not before I gave a very hot 39-year old Joe my card, and I hopes he calls it or drops me an e-mail. I know, I know, I should have scored the card myself, but I'm not always so aggressive as I depict myself. Lot's of bark and some "woof"s, but not always the biter.

I wondered if his two friends read my blog, because at one point in the conversation he clearly stated, "I am single." Either they told him to make that point clear as per my directions, or he's wiser than me in making sure all is clear. I told him that was great, that I was too, and God bless him for saying that.

Sunday: we trekked up to Baltimore to play in TazWolf's awesome D&D chamber. See, up there they have homes where you can actually think of having your own gaming room. Dax tried to keep their licking, sandal-eating beast Ai'Chaiya at bay, to no avail.

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May 16, 2006

non-native species

Just when I thought our President couldn't get any stupider, more wasteful, or, well, frikkin' stupid, he goes and sends an already harried National Guard to "protect" our border with Mexico. Why not fortify the existing border patrol instead? It is clearly some kind of bizarre symbolic gesture meant to appease somebody, but I don't know who.

I've been to both the north and the south borders of this country in wilderness areas on foot. To the north there is no fence at all, with hundreds of miles of beautiful northwoods lakes and bogs protecting us from the encroaching Canadian wave of illegal immigrants. To the south there are also stretches of our border with nothing but a barbed-wire fence that couldn't stop a deer, much less a primate. I took a photo of the borderline this spring. There was no one there. I'm sure it was being monitored by telemetry or something, but really, our north and south borders are quite porous. We cannot possibly guard every inch of it, and to try to do so would cost billions. What Bush is doing now is purely symbolic, because he knows very well that every inch of our borderline cannot be effectively guarded. Sending National Guard troops to the border of Mexico is stupidly symbolic and wasteful.

I remember fishing with my brothers in my youth and was encouraged to kill any suckers or chubs (two types of stream fish) I caught because they were considered 'invasive species'. This actually meant "not-trout". Later in my life when I took a college-level ichthyology class, I learned that creek chubs and suckers are the native species, and most species of trout are populations supported by artificial fishery efforts - i.e. non-native species.

I'm not sure what kind of point I'm making here with the fish analogy, other than the fact that a lot of xenophobia is either relative or completely made up. I guess I don't percieve borders as physical things.

Anyway, George W. Bush is a complete fucking idiot.

On a completely unrelated note, Ron Howard grew a beard and is totally hot. Thanks Corey for the picture of a hot bearded Opie. The picture below is of hockey hottie Cam Ward, formerly of the Carolina Hurricanes. I post the picture simply because he too is woofy.

Should it disturb me that I have seemingly developed a network of facial- and body-hair informants who send me facial-hair pictures and news items at least once a week?

Funny story: last night I was video-chatting on ICUII. While chatting with a hot guy I made an attempt to ask him out. His first response to my friendliness was, "I read your blog and know how you feel about partnered guys and wanted to let you know I have a boyfriend and we are monogamous."

Praise Alanis, my readers can be TRAINED TO BE HONEST, UPFRONT AND TRUTHFUL!!! Social persuasion campaigns (propaganda on how I think things should be) do work! Even though it wouldn't end up in a hook-up, I would be honored to hang out and have a beer with such an open, honest and upfront guy.

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May 7, 2006

"...a stately pleasure-dome decree."

Reminder: Mother's Day is Sunday the 14th.

This is my new futon with new pillows:

I tested it out Saturday night with a friend and watched "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," which was a lot like all the other Harry Potter films: a challenge, a mystery, a bad guy, beat the bad guy. But the effects were really cool. In the foreground of the picture is the hood of my aqarium, far background a lightning rod (doubles as a +1 copper shortspear in times of forced entry) from the roof of my grandparent's house, to the right my big gay shadowbox, to the left the doors to my bedroom.

It was quite an adventure finding a decent local futon store, but I eventually ended up with Ellen's Futon at 1728 Connecticut Avenue 202.518.0057. The woman who works there during the weekday was fabulous, helpful, didn't push for the hard sell, and knew what she was talking about. On the other hand the trashy, twitchy queens trying to hock futons at Z Futons & Furniture at 2130 P St NW were pushy, overtly lascivious and didn't listen to what I wanted or needed. Not only that, but the one salesperson who initially approached me and looked me up and down like a piece of meat, proceeded to hand me over to the next lascivious salesperson who also didn't listen to what I wanted and also lost my sale. I likes my attention but I loathe shopping - please don't make it an uncomfortable experience for me.

During the day for most of the weekend we played rugby in Baltimore. Fortunately it was warm enough for a lot of woofy shirtlessness all over the place. I did not play at all so there was plenty of time to join the shirtlessness and get a nice torso tan at least.

The backdrop homes off the pitch were extremely Baltimore in style. One more Saturday match, then a weekend off, then the Big Giant Gay International Rugby Tournament over Memorial Day weekend.

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May 5, 2006

vain frat boys - chicken: yes. hot: no.

Sometimes I go lift weights at a smaller gym on the campus where I work. It happens to be located near frat row. Now I ain't sayin' that college frat boys are vain, but Jeezus guys, will you stop looking at yourselves in the mirrors so much? I am not kidding...when these guys aren't lifting weights they are looking at themselves in the mirror, fixing their hair and generally primping as much as possible. While they are hot when they are not paying attention to themselves, the whole vanity/mirror obsession thing totally turns me off. Chicken: yes. Hot: no.

I blame the Metrosexuality movement, makeover reality shows and that goddamn Queer Eye show. Damn you five Gotham homos for turning perfectly handsome young men into big girly primp-obsessed fidgeters. You college frat boys have been completely emasculated, you know that? Here's a tip: if you can't fix your look in the bathroom, it's not worth fixing in a public place. It makes you look like a frikkin' dandy when you are doing your hair in the weight room. Must we always be ready for our close-ups, Mr. DeMille?

There is nothing hotter than a guy who is casually dressed and coiffed (or not coiffed at all), confident in who he is, and paying no attention to how he looks. And he doesn't have to be in some kind of affected masculine outfit, like with the forced (and tired) flannel-and-ballcap Bear look. Just wearin' what he is comfortable in and doin' his thing. That's hot, primping is not.

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May 1, 2006

Carlos Ponce has big guns

Or is it just the camera angle?

Puerto Rican singer Carlos Ponce sings on a track while recording a Spanish-language version of the U.S. national anthem on April 26, 2006, in Miami. The recording, dubbed "Nuestro Himno," which means "Our Anthem" in English, is set to "rhythmic Latin musical arrangement" but respects the song's traditional structure, said Adam Kidron, who heads the record label Urban Box Office.

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April 28, 2006

SWS eats sandwich

We (pic courtesy of a spankalicious pic feed from dellwood) are happy to see that Seann William Scott has eaten a sandwich since the filming of Southland and The Dukes of Hazzard. Of course we are happy with the continued scruff, and particularly delighted by the retro-redneck bass pro shirt. That bass decal sweatshirt is VERY Minnesota/Wisconsin. I would contend that the shirt is genuine, and not a contrived retro fashion attempt. Many of my high school classmates wore the very same shirt, and SWS grew up just a few hours' drive north of me.

Speaking of softcore scruff porn, has anyone seen the full-sized Metrorail station ads featuring an invitation for customer comment to Metro Interim General Manager and Chief Executive Officer Dan "Eyes of Smouldering Emeralds" Tangherlini? He looks at me directly from the poster on the way to work every day. It makes me tingle inside. But I have little to comment on in regards to the quality of my Metrorail ride, I'm afraid.

Have a good weekend. I will be writing a paper most of the time. Yaaay.

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April 18, 2006

I can't stop loving Jews

From Bentblog, many images of hottie Mark Feuerstein here:

I think the name Feuerstein is pronounced fur-steen. It must be. This dreamy dreamboat is a mountain bike, jogging and triathalon enthusiast, was a wrestler in High School and won the State Championship, and is a constant supporter and activist for AIDS charities. Swoon.

Today Bent features Ben Browder of Farscape and Stargate: SG-1, also rather dreamy.

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April 14, 2006

dear ms. manfur

The most horrible thing I've ever read in the Washington Blade (next to Jeff Gannon's Tourette's Syndrome writing style) was in this week's Ms. Behavior advice column. One twink writes in to bemoan his partner's horrible condition:

Dear Ms. Behavior: My new boyfriend Eric is hairy all over and likes it. I prefer a smooth look. If he'd submit to an all-body waxing just once I know he'd understand the appeal. I can't talk him into it, though I've tried. Would it be unethical to give him a mild sedative or several drinks so that I could wax him? He won't budge, so I'm contemplating taking him by storm to prove my point. What do you think? - SMOOTHER IS BETTER

News Flash: you cannot change who you snagged for a boyfriend. It's been tried before and continues to fail as an approach to relationships. Accept him as he is, hairy and all that. I am horrified to think that someone would even consider drugging some hot furball and clipping or shaving him. Let me respond to this stupid twink's request for advice, piece by piece:

My new boyfriend Eric is hairy all over and likes it.
YEAH!!! Give him this e-mail: Jimbo3DC@aol.com and tell him to drop me a line. Thank you. I like a man who knows who he is and likes it.

I prefer a smooth look.
You and every member of N.A.M.B.L.A.

If he'd submit to an all-body waxing just once I know he'd understand the appeal.
Are you sure rashes and ingrown hairs are so appealing?

I can't talk him into it, though I've tried.
That's because he's already starting to ignore your whiney ass.

Would it be unethical to give him a mild sedative or several drinks so that I could wax him?
Umm...I'm not sure what the legal term for that crime is, but hopefully you're going to go through with drugging your boyfriend, get arrested for it, and then get thrown in a jail cell with not one, but THREE large hairy men (who like being that way too) who will sodomize you daily until you do get accustomed to being continually buffed by man-fur.

There will be many such sodomizers at Blowoff on Saturday. I saw Clickboo out on the street last night and he was already bouncing around like the Easter Bunny in anticipation. Perhaps someone like this will be there too:

I like his bushy goatee.

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April 10, 2006

let's start the week off right

It is my wish is to have dinner cooked for me this week by a hot blue-eyed Jew:

Hottie tip from Chrisafer, hat tip to twenty-something, and much praise to all you hot sons of Abraham.

And I'm all riled up over Steve Carrel with a beard (wuuuuf.) from an upcoming movie Little Miss Sunshine, hat tip to Queer Beacon. He plays a gay character in the film.

Yo, my movie review of SLiTHER is up on Queer Beacon as well.

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February 23, 2006

ginger kids beware

Work has been very hectic of late, and I haven't had much to write about anyway. At my job I am often expected to pull a Barbara Eden / I Dream of Jeannie trick now and then and shoot brochures, newsletters and graphics out of my ass at random times from the magical vacuum of my rectum. Apparently, a lot of my non-designer coworkers believe graphic design, writing and the printing cycle is an act of prestidigitation. Voila! It's that easy! There will be some educational efforts done on my part at the next meeting. I believe in educational campaigns, and perhaps sharing how I go about designing, producing and printing these objects will help. But there are always the Really Important Last Minute Emergencies around here too, which you can never prevent, especially on Fridays at 4:30pm. I hope people understand why I don't go out on Fridays to noisy smoky bars. I'm kind of worn out by 8pm on Friday and can't handle such sensory overload.

Woof woof woof...I'm crazy for the Ginger Kids this week. It's all about the redheads, Newfie curlers, etc., and like they say once you've gone red you can never go back. There seemed to be at least 5 readhead guys at the gym on Tuesday night, all shades of lovely red, sandy/orange or auburn...Daywalkers all, tormenting me with their fiery hotness.

Dogpoet is no Daywalker, but he's still adorable as heck, even standing next to archaeological remains. When he moves back to SF I'll set him up with this dreamboat and they'll be a dreamboat hottie couple.

Bob was once this close to Joan Rivers! Joan didn't seem to know what she was talking about. Time has been much kinder to Bob.

I got a super-sweet deal on a snowboarding jacket at the REI Winter Blowout Clearance sale. It's loaded with gadgetry, zippers and bells, and my new hiking boots came in too. I feel totally geared up, rugged and crunchy.

Blowoff on Saturday, D&D on Sunday. I'm kind of content to be home this weekend...I need to regenerate even more. I hope to maybe go buy some soil for my backyard garden projects if it's nice enough outside.

Thank you for all the dozens of identical e-mails regarding the Brokeback Mountain Shopping List and all the really, really funny videos for Brokeback to the Future and all that. Ha ha ha. And I'm still getting them almost daily! Really, I enjoy reading the same jokes over and over again, and no, I haven't seen this video and I'm sure it's really, really funny and I have to see this one!!! Of course no one else has sent me that other joke, so go ahead and send it again. Just keep forwarding those Brokeback e-mails and soon I'm going to go totally postal ! ! ! ! !

Posted by jimbo at 11:17 AM | Comments (11)

February 15, 2006

scruffiest week ever

God, it's been a good week for scruff, probably the best week in scruff coverage on the 'net for at least the next year or so:

It is fortunate that it has been a good week for scruff, considering it seems to be a slow week in the media - the other headlines are consumed with news about hunting accidents.

Updated With More Scruff 2/16:

- First, from Joe.My.God, a pictoral review of the Blarg Hop that happened last weekend in NYC featuring a super-scruffy picture of Eric and his DP. Eric has gold-medal scruff in the Men's Scruff Competition of the winter Olympics.

- Yesterday Jason Statham jumped off the cover of Men's Health to scruff me up as only he can. Props to Just Jared, who seems to be more on the ball with Scruffwatch that I am a lot of the time.

- And how could I leave out the overexposed and overhyped 'rebel' skiier Bode Miller. While this scrufftastic hottie is everywhere, I kinda question his status as 'rebel' considering how much time he's spent with EVERY magazine in the country getting his picture taken, and his rather well-designed website.

- Plus I think Alpine skiing Olympian Chip Knight is cuter than Bode, scruffier and often bearded.

- Former D.C. DoT head Dan Tangherlini appointed as interim Metro General Manager this week. Close-cropped bearded (borderline scruffy enough to qualify for Scruff Week), I think this adorkable and hard-working bureaucrat lives near me, as I've seen him on the platform at the U Street station a couple of times.

- And finally Towleroad takes a breather from yammering incessantly about that one movie and features some super-hot pics of Chris Evans. The pictures just turn my crank. But then again I can feel spring approaching and my crank is easily turned these days.

Could ScruffWeek possibly get any better? Thanks for all the Valentines and wishes y'all.

Posted by jimbo at 11:16 AM | Comments (9)

February 14, 2006

I Like Them Big and Stupid

"I Like Them Big and Stupid" by Julie Brown

When I need somethin' to help me unwind
I find a six foot baby with a one track mind
Smart guys are nowhere, they make demands
Give me a moron with talented hands
I go bar-hopping and they say last call
I start shopping for a Neanderthal

The bigger they come the harder I fall
In love 'til we're done then they're out in the hall

{Refrain}
I like 'em big and stupid
I like 'em big and real dumb
I like 'em big and stupid

What kind of guy does a lot for me
A Superman with a lobotomy
My fathers outa Harvard
My brothers outa Yale
But the guy I took home last night
Just got outa jail

The way he grabbed and threw me, ooh it really got me hot
But the way he growled and bit me, I hope he had his shots

The bigger they are the harder they'll work
I got a soft spot for a good lookin' jerk

{Refrain}

I met a guy, who drives a truck
He can't tell time but he sure can drive
I asked his name and he had to think
Could I have found the missing link
He's so stupid you know what he said
Well I forgot what he said, 'cause it was so stupid

The bigger they come the harder I fall
In love 'til we're done then they're out in the hall

{Refrain}

I like 'em big and real dumb
I like 'em big and stupid

Posted by jimbo at 7:16 AM | Comments (10)

February 6, 2006

sing me a lullaby, surfer daddy

Coach Daddy Bill Cowher fared well on Sunday, or so I heard. I lost what little interest I have in football when the Packers fell out of the race. Bill's hot schnoz, 'stache and game face was the only thing that would have made me watch, but I was busy playing City of Heroes at the time.

The date with Orkin Man went well last night, but I advise you not chase down a Dayquil with a Cosmo during a date. The math for settling the bill was a great challenge, and I'm afriad I looked retarded. A friend of mine had mentioned he too would be going on a date that night, but neither of us gurls bothered to check notes on the location - we both ended up in booths next to each other at Duplex. 'Doh!

Hairy-chested surfer dude, brand new daddy, and musician Jack Johnson is here to sing you a lullaby, and other tunes from the Curious George soundtrack. Faced with the challenge of giving a voice to the mute monkey, this dreamboat fares well. Sing me a lullaby, Daddy.

I've tried surfing, but the waves never seem to be ready for me. The last time I tried it I just floated for a while and watched birds. I think I'd rather be under the waves than on them.

And who is this woofer getting a beard trim from Letterman?

Posted by jimbo at 9:35 PM | Comments (7)

February 3, 2006

bigfoot marries pog

Not Work Safe five-part comic by Tim Fish touching on love, depiliation, Bigfoot and gay marriage.

I suffer from a plague undoubtedly brought by Darth Jersey last weekend, but what a day to be home from work - 65 and sunny. But where's our snowstorm? Sadly, last night was spent tossing and turning from this flu/cold/whatever.

Posted by jimbo at 3:21 PM | Comments (4)

January 23, 2006

I am 'Pog'

Glennalicious mentions the word pogonophiles in a recent entry. Pogonophiles are those who find an interest in beards. I guess I have a severe case of pogonophilism, as does runner up Otterdoc as well.

Then Jeff from God of Biscuits (the original) says that the 'Bear' term is soo 2005 (It's really soo 2002, actually.) and we need to differentiate those that simply like beards, but are not roly-poly or feel compelled to wear flannel and ballcaps. As I wear product and am relatively fit but still love my facial fur and don't own faux workman's boots, I will choose to use Jeff's contraction of the word "pogonophile" into simply "pog."

I am "Pog." No, not one of those stupid trading flipper dingies from like a decade ago either.

Of course this subculture is going to fragment into a million more specific areas, with accompanying names, as we often do. Jeff wonders what an "iPog" would be, to which I answer:

Well, an iPog would be a bearded one who is plugged into the latest tech, of course. Bob Mould is an iPog, for example.

If we must (and someone will), here are some more Pogisms. Feel free to submit more:

Pogger: Someone who tops bearded guys.
Poggee: Someone who bottoms to bearded guys.
Autopogonification: getting off on your own beard.
Pseudopogonophile: He who only grew a beard when/because it was hip.
Andropogynes: Post-op transsexuals with facial hair.
Pogasm: Shooting a load on someone's beard
(My favorite - I made it up, credit goes to me for that one.)

Posted by jimbo at 11:00 PM | Comments (22)

January 11, 2006

yet more vapid sci-fi lusting

I'm actually kinda crazed at work today, so no rabid, mouth-frothing rant today. SORRY!

So instead I will talk about scruff and chest hair patterns. Many blessings to my patron from Quinnipiac University who sends me this awesome hi-rez headshot of the hunky Joe Flannigan, who plays Lt. Col. John Sheppard on Stargate: Atlantis. Everyone repeat after me, with high voices: "He's so DREAMY! 'sigh!'" On this Friday's new episode of SG-Atlantis, entitled 'Epiphany', Sheppard sports a nearly-full beard, or well-advanced scruff, depending on how you look at it. Some chest fur teases too. Quinnipiac says the picture to the left is 'scruffy' but I consider it mere stubble. It's scruff if I can bite it with my teeth, as I would with Joe Flannigan's scruff in Friday's episode.

Joe is currently on my desktop both at home and at work. I used to have this huge, hi-res photo of Jamie Bamber on my desktop but the image looked kind of spooky...I kept feeling like Jamie Bamber was stalking me or something. It's really not a good feeling thinking Jamie Bamber is stalking you, even though it sounds like a good idea.

As you may have guessed, I'm more of a face person. And scruff. And I can never stop looking at that little 'V' in a person's collar line (present on both pictures here) which may or may not give promise to the presence of chest fur. That's what I look at. When someone tells me, "Oh, that guy is sooo hung! Look at that bulge!" I'll have to admit I'm usually the last one to notice - I have been looking above the shoulders, not below.

Now Kyan Douglas on last night's episode of Queer Eye was downright scruffy, fyi. I'd link to something but the official Bravo TV website is fucked up at the moment. Some webmaster in NYC doesn't know what he/she's doing! Cross-browser compatibility, anyone? Oh wait, I promised not to rant today.

Gurl and I are developing a new chest hair rating system, somewhat based on my B.H.I. scale (Body Hair Index) . While B.H.I. rates how hairy a man is, my new chest hair scale will help gay men and women describe the chest hair patterns on a guy, which until now has been hard to relate to friends and family. I have yet to name the system, but will use the suit symbols on playing cards, that is the club ♣, spade ♠, diamond and heart ♥. Again, I'm a little busy today, but a full graphical depiction of my chest hair scaling system will be in place by this weekend.

Posted by jimbo at 1:30 PM | Comments (6)

November 17, 2005

atypical

History Lesson from The Old Skool, in the Interest of Keepin' it Real: back in tha day, before the 1st Bingham Cup was held in 2002 and hosted by the San Francisco Fog (also just plain rugby I might add - which was nice), there was once just a plain 'ol gay international rugby tournament in DC in 2001. Bingham was actually there, I went to the hospital with him. There were just four teams at that time: San Francisco, Manchester, DC and Buenos Aires. We had a tournament followed by a social in a bar. We had an on-site ambulance, port-a-potties to shit in and minimal effort was needed to organize such things. Granted, it was easier with so few teams, but call me conservative when I wish things could be kept simple. Play rugby, drink up afterwards. No official DJ, schwag bag handout or ceremony required other than rugby tradition. It's not rocket science.

Posted by jimbo at 9:49 AM

November 4, 2005

Matthew Fox "not shy" and reportedly well hung

Hat tip to JoeMyGod for the link that tells us word from the set of 'Lost' implies Matthew Fox is "not shy" about public nudity. A commenter from that blog entry claims that Fox is also dubbed "The Pendulum" on set for his propensity "for swinging his impressive appendage back and forth so it slaps against his belly".

I need a cocktail.

Jeff, our lovely patron from a geek shop in Pittsburgh came through with some free Dungeons & Dragons miniatures and various schwag items in celebration of the 2005 Worldwide D&D Day. The package includes a module, miniatures, and some very cheesy bumper stickers:

"I Brake for Kobolds"
"Beholder on Board"
"I Played D&D Before it Was Cool" (that one is mine)
"Don't Make Me Roll for Initiative!"

We will be playing D&D this Sunday. Last rugby match of the season on Saturday, then a tournament up in NYC the following weekend. Looks like the weather will be nice.

Posted by jimbo at 10:36 AM | Comments (4)

October 27, 2005

Brawny Man has a huge package, "Thirst Pockets for Spill Relief"

I have blogged about my favorite paper towel spokesman, the Brawny Man before, who turned 30 this month. I also need to point out that he also has a huge package as recent commercials indicate. Watch the 30 second version of the 'Role Reversal' ad and wait until the scene where he approaches the camera with a cake in one hand and a puppy in the other. Check out the junk in his jeans, he's totally hung. This comes after the scene where he wipes up a dollop of white cream. "Thirst Pockets for Spill Relief" indeed. I like this version of Brawny Man myself. Send your friend a Brawny-gram using Innocent Escapes from their website - it's nearly scruff-porn.

For more strained package action, do check out bulgeblog, props to rising blogebrity Brettie for the tip.

Civilization IV is ready for pre-order, yo, but I'm still caught up in City of Heroes, and eagerly awaiting City of Villians, and all but ignoring my purchased copy of Neverwinter Nights. Where will I find the time?

Posted by jimbo at 2:34 PM | Comments (8)

October 24, 2005

hot shirtless bearded proto-Mormon pics

No jimbo rugby pics comin' in yet from the weekend, so you'll have to settle for hot bearded shirtless Mormon pics on Otterdoc's blog, and a general assortment of rugby pics from this weekend on Joe Tresh's Washington photo blog.

Posted by jimbo at 4:25 PM

October 20, 2005

TV's Dirtiest Daddy

I've been meaning to watch Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel just to watch former Food Lion commercial spokesguy Mike Rowe, a dirty Daddy who takes a look at different dirty jobs with a hands on approach. On the show the 43 year-old vocalicious hunk tackles everything from pigeon feces removal to household clean up after a sewer back up. The screencap is from an episode where he visits a mud bath spa, with lots of shirtlessness goin' on. Additional screencaps appreciated and promptly downloaded to the pornucopia in the folder labeled "woof."

Posted by jimbo at 1:27 AM | Comments (5)

September 14, 2005

fists, film festival

Here is my level 17 magic tanker displaying the latest rage in supergroup fashion - the official outfit and logo (fashion design by Rad Jacket Sean) for the supergroup Crucible:

Crucible, founded by fellow tanker Bad Daddy, caters "to the more rugged, man-on-man set." While the fist motif isn't quite right, I love the overall scheme.

Ohmigawd! Serve up a cup of ambition and re-live the antics of Judy Bernly, Violet Newstead, and Doralee Rhodes at the D.C. Labor Filmfest this weekend, organized and presented by the Metropolitan Washingon Council of the AFL-CIO, the Jones-Douglass Institute and the American Film Institute. My favorite film featured is 9 to 5 which will be screened on Saturday night at 7, with a live appearance by Jane Fonda!

Posted by jimbo at 8:23 PM | Comments (3)

September 13, 2005

the search for Concrete Man continues

Fstclss Ramblings has been posting thorough documentation of the renovation and landscaping of his home, paying special attention to the quality of his construction crew. In particular, his observations on and photography of a woofy clone of jimbo rivals that of famed primatologists Jane Goodall and Dian Fossey:

My stalking of the concrete man continues. They were back last week on Thursday and Friday pouring our neighbor's driveway and the rest of our sidewalk. I stepped out with my camera and took a couple of pictures. Unfortunately, his shirt remained on.

Keep up the good work. I personally love his cute yellow galoshes. I am willing to aid in the development of the Fstclss Ramblings Concrete Man Institute, dedicated to the study, preservation and photography of Concrete Man (Homo concretus).

Posted by jimbo at 3:27 PM | Comments (10)

August 20, 2005

Minor League Team To Host 'Hairiest Back' Contest

WOODBRIDGE, Va. -- The Potomac Nationals of the Carolina League are ready to let the fur fly later this month.

The Class-A affiliate of the Washington Nationals will hold its first-ever "Hairiest Back at the Ballpark" contest before their game against a team from Salem, Va., on Aug. 25.

According to the team's press release, the winner will receive a complimentary laser hair removal service valued at $2,500.

In addition, there will be a drawing for a complimentary laser removal service worth $1,200 for those fans who do not want to participate in the contest.

Posted by jimbo at 4:27 PM | Comments (4)

July 8, 2005

colby misses me

"Hmm...my scruff is growin' out. I remember when Jimbo would get all excited about that when we were dating..."

I went to see George A. Romero's Land of the Dead last night with My'ra and Jon. It was better than I expect a zombie movie to be. The storyline and writing were pretty darn good, and even the zombie actors performed better than Natalie Portman and Ewan MacGregor combined in all three of their Star Wars performances. But that might not be saying much. Eugene Clark delivered his lines as the lead zombie Big Daddy with a passionate "MWAAAAAAAAAAGH!" His delivery almost put me to tears. The film contained all the gore you could wish for in a zombie movie, much of it wonderfully gratuitious. It also featured one of my favorite actors, John Leguizamo.

As opposed to the steaming pile of Bruckheimer shit King Arthur (2004), which I had borrowed from Gurl to watch during my back recovery. Even though it also featured lots of gore, swordplay, and the insanely handsome Clive Owen, watching it was a chore that spanned 4 breakfast sittings. And bad, bad writing with a predictable and cliche storyline. At one point the Gaul leader, plerformed by some guy with an American accent dressed like an Old Skool Metallica dude, announced the start of one battle by saying "Bring it on," in a gravelly evil voice. And of course all the Celts are starving, downtrodden, fecund, and adorably hardy in the film, in standard victimist stereotype spending their time either drunk or oppressed.

I'm hoping Fantastic 4 is at least fun, but I keep hearing horrible things about it. I saw the trailer for The 40 Year-Old Virgin last night, and it looked kind of funny. And the lead actor in it, Steve Carell, is a bit of a furry little hottie in my opinion too.

London is more accustomed to ter'r attacks that Ummerca, living so long in seclusion with our only two neighbors to the north and south of us. They're clearly not as shocked as we were after 9/11. And they won't transform into a nation of NASCARites overnight either. There's a bit of a necessary patriotism upswell going on right now, but I don't think they'll be throwing around the term "towel head" anytime soon. On this side of the pond, I am most afraid of the general populace and the pig-bottom Bush-fisted media becoming even more succeptible to chimpnotization than before.

Posted by jimbo at 3:14 PM | Comments (8)

June 28, 2005

water polo, rugby & gay sports

I used to play water polo before I played rugby. I was OK at it, but I did not excel at it due to not having an ectomorphic body shape. Those long limbed-types would simply use their Mr. Fantastic extenda-arms and dunk me when and if I would get the ball. Plus the team never played many matches, so I switched to rugby, as they play games almost every weekend in the spring and fall. Water polo was an incredible workout though, and it was very challenging, which was the point.

Last night waiting for the Metrorail I saw an "old" player from the rugby team who is leaving town to go to school elsewhere. We talked about how many on the team have "retired" due to pain or lack of time. Now when I say "old", this guy is in his early- to mid-20's and has played a year, which is a lot by rugby standards. It seems like I'm a rugby grampaw for only having played 5 years. The turnover is high once people realize there is a high pain and injury factor involved. I'm not saying I'm immune to pain. I've had some hard years. This year was a good one, despite throwing my back out picking up a goddamn Q-Tip.

I also believe some people have more "hit points" than others (Dungeons and Dragons reference) and can just take more hits, despite their size or stature. Younger people recover faster, and it also helps to just take a break once in a while too. I consider myself more of a Jack Russell Terrier than a rugby bulldog. I'd like to play as long as possible, as long as it does not hinder my ability to bike or run, which I would like to do for longer than that. When I bike through the city or down the trails I feel like I'm jacked up on amphetamines, and it feels good. Running is a necessary stress reliever.

I like to be athletic, and always have. I do not use the term "jock" lightly, as many do on their online cruisey profiles. I was in track and cross country in high school, and did the 400m, 800m, mile run, mile relay, and pole vault. I also come from a fairly active family - us Barretts are hyper folk. My grampa liked to hunt, as did my dad and one of my brothers. The other brother is a tennis and windsurfing fanatic. The hunting brother is a workout monster and has a bod that would put any circuit queen to shame, although it would shock him to know that another man would look at him that way. (That's another issue to address another day.) Anyway, I work out to feel alive, to use my body to perform a function, albeit for a generally useless recreational purpose. But that's the reason for a hobby, it's something that produces nothing other than to give you joy or pleasure.

That is why it kinda stung when another blogger said to me during an in-person blogger gathering a while back that people join gay rugby teams to fullfill unmet masculinity issues. This is not always so.

Yes, our team and many other gay or mixed teams have attracted their fair share of jokers who are attracted to the sport for its image, their perception of the hypermasculine qualities of the game, or to fulfill some pervy muddy rugby fantasy in their heads. After a match or two, such jokers quickly disappear, and/or we are quick to identify those types these days and find ways to get rid of them. I'm happy to say that our team has matured a lot over the years, and the drama factor from such folk has been reduced considerably. We had a very serious year in 2004/2005, and benefitted from the focus. I have personally gotten a lot more focused during practices too.

Anyhow, some people play rugby to inflict pain on others, as they consistently do in other theatres as well. Others play to simply keep in shape. I play for the pleasure of using my body in a coordinated fashion in concert with a bunch of other people to succeed. It is a beautiful thing to get the ball out of a scrum and get it to the backline for a fluid series of passes to the wing, or do dig out a ball from a ruck and run it forward. Even tackling can be fun, if I do it well.

And there is a definite addiction factor to it all as well. After 80 minutes you can feel quite "high," especially after a win. Most of the time you just feel tired, however. I don't know if rugby is any more healthy an alternative to the circuit scene - at least you don't get your head bashed in at the White Party or ribs bruised at the Blue Ball.

I do not play to prove anything other than that I can do it, and that I am still physically able to do right on the field. The sunshine and exercise don't hurt either. After 5 years, I can now see past the hot sweaty dirty meaty thighs in the scrum without getting a hormonal jolt to my crotch. During a match I am no longer distracted by the scruffy faces or the beckoning chest fur pouring out from the 'V' in the enemy's jersey neckline. While I am playing they are simply people to be stopped, neuter beings to be passed by and defeated. I can love them later when I've shown them who's boss, or vice verse.

Now you get a prize if you read this far. My favorite pictures of furry water polo players from this lovely photo gallery from Outsports, the premier source for the homoeroticism of hypermasculinity.

Tamas Kasas of Hungary, considered by many the sport's best player. And other furry aquatic men.

Posted by jimbo at 1:56 PM | Comments (4)

June 23, 2005

The Sea And Me

Apparently if I don't blog for two days people think I'm dead. No, I did not overdose on my medication, although it's highly likely I could be hit by a car crossing the street during rush hour, just because it felt like a good idea at the time. Or death by multiple spider bites.

In case you didn't make it to the end of my entry yesterday, Archerr interviewed me for a podcast after some heavy painkiler dosage (me, not him) and I sound a bit cracked-out on my babbling about back pain, drugs, sex, bloggers, boyfriends, and many other topics.

In the Podcast interview I speak of The Hunky Leprechaun. I have made vague references to him in the past. We have been seeing each other for some frequency since mid-February. I guess that would make it 5 months now. Some of you have even met him, especially at our Gay Pride parade a few weeks ago. I believe it is now time to reveal his secret identity, since I have been on the down low about it due to fear of jinxing anything, and that he may not feel comfortable about it. Perhaps now it is time to write about him.

I first remember a brief message from the Onion Personals from him with a teensy postage-stamp sized picture of him taken from 400 yards away. Y'all know how I feel about image resolution and fuzzy pictures, so I ignored the message. Too risky to eventually find the guy would not quite look like the picture.

Then many months later he mesaged me again to say hi on Friendster. This time he had more pictures, many of them quite handsome, like this one:

I also learned a little more from his profile in this format. He liked stuff like Buffy, Gremlins and The Dark Crystal, all of which I like as well. And he had pictures of himself at work, working with critters and stuff. At first we corresponded via Friendster while he was doing field research in Panama, and eventually met at Mr. Henry's on Capitol Hill in mid-February. Conversation was easy and he seemed first like a normal, adjusted person to me. And he still remains a normal and well-adjusted guy. I coerced him to walk to the L'Enfant Plaza Metrorail station that night, one which I knew was seldom used that late at night, so I could sneak a kiss as we went down the escalator. I could tell he was a good kisser from just that small sample. A good sign. I've since found he's even better in other departments.

The next time we met out at the New Carollton Metrorail station so I could see his workplace which is an outdoor research station. He was so excited about us meeting again he locked his keys in his car in the parking lot. It was cold out and a long time before the locksmith came, but cute because he was so flustered about seeing me again and so concerned about screwing up. I was a little nervous too.

Now I have rarely met many gay men in DC, or even elsewhere, to have done the field work that I have in the natural resources area. Needless to say I get excited to meet anyone who has had similar experiences, because they get that part of me. Sometimes I feel very misunderstood here when I talk about such things, as I often feel like I am the only person I know with a mote of knowledge about wildlife or biology. When I talk about such things people here will glaze over and quickly switch topics of politics or urban issues, or just stare at me with a blank look of incomprehension in their faces. Sometimes I don't even think they believe what I am saying. People even try to argue with me about some very basic ecological or biological concepts. I try to be patient when that happens. When I marvel at the stars, thunderstorms, cicadas, wood ducks or spotting a Peregrine falcon on the National Mall I've often had people say to me things like, "What's the big deal, it's only a thunderstorm!" So I shut up and switch to my urban persona, and pretend not to care like they do.

But when someone is impressed that I can tell the difference between a male or female red-tailed hawk, or that I know the twittering flying grey things in the city are not in fact bats, but chimney swifts, or that I can tell a peregrine falcon is overhead just by noticing how the pigeons are freaking out, I nearly get a hard-on.

Sea is one such special person. "Sea", a nickname for an even cooler name which I will not reveal. Sea is short for seabird, the reason for such name I will also not share. We see each other with as much frequency as we can, for he lives out in Southern Maryland, working at a biolological research station. He is a biologist, and a damn good one too. If you dare question me on my bird identification skills, Sea's I.D. skills are godlike and even more impressive than mine and will destroy you with their depth and breadth of detailed knowledge. Any snarky overeducated Ivy League contrarian will be crushed in the biological field of knowledge by such a person. Be warned, contrarian Smarty Pants folk of The District - Sea is in town with his deputy ranger Jimbo, so you better lay low and keep yer mouth shut.

I really really like him a lot, and wish I could see him more often. We are two peas in a pod and I have not been this excited to know someone like this in a long time. He is not someone you would normally meet in the DC crowd. I am the city mouse and he is the country mouse and we meet somewhere in the middle. He is crunchy, spiritual, unconcerned with material things, unapologetic, and strong of heart. And he is cute and red-haired all over, and is ticklish in an endearing way. I like to give him 'zurburts' and watch him giggle and quiver. And most importantly, we get along and I enjoy my time with him.

But I am his first relationship, and there are challenges and anxieties on both our parts to that. But I also believe each relationship is always different, and require different challenging approaches. And he is moving away to Florida in the fall to go for his Ph.D. in biology. The romantic side of be thinks that perhaps things can work out, while the rational side of me knows that in most cases it doesn't. But I remain optimistic, and at the very least we will remain friends and that he will always have a very cherished place in my heart. He has a good head on his shoulders, and has a very mature outlook of how to try and conduct a relationship. We are both learning, and he's already got a pretty darn grip on the how-to manual of relationships.

So here's to enjoying what time we can have until August. There are plenty of opportunities to be had, and I'm looking forward to them, and I hope the summer slows down a bit just for me and Sea. For now, I'm approaching it like how Sandra Dee and Danny Zuko did in Grease before their main storyline in the movie Grease developed:

Summer lovin' had me a blast - summer lovin', happened so fast
I met a girl crazy for me - I met a boy, cute as can be
Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights

Or perhaps what Gwen Stefani sings:

You're a salty water ocean wave
You knock me down, you kiss my face
I know the storm will likely come
But I'd still love to have you around.
A rollercoaster built to crash
But I'd still love to have you around.

Don't go away my love
I want you to stay in my life
Don't go away from my life
I'm happier when we spend time.

Or like Garth said:

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Or maybe some Edward Lear:

And hand in hand on the edge of the sand
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

Posted by jimbo at 3:29 PM | Comments (11)

May 16, 2005

gay sci-fi geek's wet dream photo

Just found this photo, which is a gay scruff-loving sci-fi fan's wet dream - Ben Browder and Michael Shanks together, w. Mr. Shanks sporting a beard. WOOOF! The pic is from the upcoming season of Stargate SG-1.

Attention LiveJournal and Blogger.com bloggers: please be aware that the blogosphere does not consist entirely of Blogger and LiveJournal bloggers who can comment freely in your comments section. In fact, back inna day, most of them were not. I'm sick of being asked to register for Blogger.whatever.com just to make comments, and seeing Livejournal comment areas restricted to Livejournal users. Doing this is missing the point of blogging, which I percieve as a 2-way revolutionary media form.

Anyway, when you restrict your comments area to only those using the same system that you're on, you create blogstipation, and a bit of elitism at that. Granted, we can all do what we want with our comments system, but having mine completely open has not been much of a problem. People have mostly been civil.

I am going to Vancouver in late July! I'll be meetin' up with Kenn and his partner for din-din, perhaps attending GateCon 2005 (ohmigawd MICHAEL SHANKS!!! EEEE! Ooops, looks like he won't be showing up, but Tahmoh Penikett is a suitable consolation - looks like there'll be a lot of BSG stars there ) and Vancouver Pride featuring the beefed-out former Broadway gurl turned Neo-Village Person Scott Bolton!

Speaking of gay travel, there was a remarkably large piece in Sunday's Travel section of the Post about Ft. Lauderdale as a gay mecca. Kind of surprising in this day and age, but a welcome ray of light and recognition that sort of said, "Yes, gays travel and are people to be represented on occasion as travelling functioning humans in the Post like heteronormative families." Or something like that.

I was just thinking yesterday how nice it would be if all these rabid people that call themselves "Christians" would spend their time fixing actual social ills like hunger, poverty and illiteracy instead of thier fruitless efforts on putting down gays, how much nicer this world could be.

Midnight screening of Revenge of the Sith on Wednesday ("MWAAARRRGGGGH!!!"), final exam for The Class That Absorbs All Time And Space the next day. That's gonna suck.

Tuesday the 17th is Syttende Mai, Norway's day of independence from the evil Danes. Down with the Danes. If you suspect you might have even a little Norwegian heritage in you, eat some pickled herring and get a little drunk, but not too drunk. Norwegians don't get wasted, just a little tipsy.

Posted by jimbo at 10:45 AM | Comments (10)

April 22, 2005

woof, woof revolution

I want the red-bearded Beaverhausen on the left most, but the one on the right is OK too. Found on Kyle's blog, not from theirs. And for more from that posse, do check out Schitzophonic, who makes me giggle with every entry. And none of them do it under the "brilliant" guise of meanness, nor at the expense of others. Amazing, isn't it?

Today Fitz steps in on an alien conversation about the new Pope...

With G.I. Joe action figures getting woofier every day, a site like Poseable Thumbs was inevitable. Described as "Hot Action-Man-On-Action-Man Action," probably not work safe, but then again, are action figures in compromising positions counted as porn?

I can't make it to the match out in Poolesville, MD against Gotham due to a wedding even futher west - to Paris, Virginia?!? I'm bummed because it's a beautiful pitch in a very pastoral setting. Youse guys are gonna love it. No mean people with digital cameras allowed.

Hopefully, it'll be one of the last weddings of my age group, which really drained my coffers back when they all decided to get married at the same time when I was poor(er). All you married straight bitches better make it to my wedding should the day come, when same-sex marriages are legal, and all that. And I will have a big-ass registry.

Anyhow, see y'all at Blowoff Saturday night...rumour has it we'll have a non-rugger (yet still talented) NYC visitor too. Pull the boulder out to block the cave entrance...somebody's hungry for bear meat!

Oh yeah, happy Earth Day!

Posted by jimbo at 10:20 AM | Comments (6)

April 11, 2005

my aquarium @ work

No fish for a month or so until it settles. I'm still debating whether or not to get a new filter, or whether to get freshwater tropical or goldfish.

Oh lordy...it's warm and sunny on campus, and I believe that if I were still closeted, these would be the days that I would be ejected out of the closet like pulsing jets of white-hot...anyway, all the kids on campus are growing full, untrimmed scruff in order to look cool like Mr. Britney Spears-Federline. I love you Britney, for marrying a scruffster, thus promoting this trend.

Back when I was like 20 in 1990 or so, it was all the clean shaven crap and the beginning of the Dark Years of Chest Shaving. Now scruff and fur is back, even with the youngsters, and I'm so very happy to be gay.

Although in 1990 I didn't have much to complain about. I was on the hockey team floor of our dormitory, and they grew their scruff out and left it unshorn until the season was over, hanging around the dorm shirtless drinking beer all season. Beefy hockey boys from Canada, Minnesota and New Jersey. Blond, red, brown, and dark scruff and fur all up and down the dormitory hall on my floor. It was pure jimbo torture, and during those semesters I was extremely cranky and uptight since I wasn't quite out yet and had no release from the unavoidable visual overstimulation. I did the whole averting my eyes and stuff in the group dorm showers, lest I pop a woody and feel all weird about it. Not long after I finally started checkin' the gay thing out. I give a lot of credit to the hockey team back in my freshmen year of college for much of my personal development.

Posted by jimbo at 4:13 PM | Comments (5)

March 25, 2005

GET OUT.

Sure, Ryan Reynolds goes totally psycho in the upcoming remake of The Amityville Horror, but it looks like there'll be plenty of hot shirtless scenes of His Woofyness, so I'll have to go see it. Thanks to Brent for the tip. The scene that creeped me out the most in the first movie was when the two points of red light eyes were outside the window warning the wife to "GET OUT!"

Speaking of getting out of town, best wishes this week to former "President" of Kyrgizstan, Mr. Askar Akayev. During a vacation from my Peace Corps duties in 1997, I hiked to Kyrgizstan over the Tien Shan Mountain range from Almaty, the capitol of Kazakstan. And despite what it said on the front page hard copy of the Washington Post this morning, Almaty is not the capitol of Kyrgizstan. Below is a picture of our campsite on the trip. I'm not sure if we were in Kyrgizstan by then, but it was a beautiful river valley between ranges. It was probably the most challenging hike I'd ever done, as it took us up to 18,000 feet or so, where the air was thin and my comrades got pukey, while I got weak from the altitude sickness.

Kyrgizstan was a beautiful country, with a very clear lake in the middle of it which apparently flooded the hometown of Tamerlane, or as he's known in Central Asia, Timour the Lame.

And speaking of lame, I heretofore give permission to any and all of my blog readership to end my life quickly and humanely should I ever enter a vegetative state and/or become brain dead. See if I recover in say, 9 months tops. 15 years? Hell no. Please, please don't ever drag me through some kind of right to life political drama. It is written here that you may do the duty should the time come. And please, please don't starve me to death. An overdose of something narcotic will suffice. And make it REALLY GOOD CRACK. Something that would cause a mild sweat in Whitney Houston would probably do me in in a few minutes.

Posted by jimbo at 11:05 AM | Comments (5)

January 26, 2005

tom brady's scruff & 'do

We are enjoying Tom Brady's beautiful gold-red scruff for yet another year. His scruff length is a bit longer this year (right), as is his hair, so it kinda makes him look like a caveman, but y'all know I love that shit. Now I loved his cute little preppy fauxhawk in 2004 (left), but I'm lovin' the shaggy 'do he's got this year even more. I've been workin' on something similar to it myself. For some reason I just love to see medium-length hair curling up from under the back of a ballcap. Minor jimbo fetish. Sadly, Adam Vinatieri has given up his bear look from last year, but is still a cutie-patootie without the face fur. Remember: "If the knuckles ain't draggin', Jimbo ain't shaggin'"

Yet more Ruggers who blog and bloggers who rugg. Or something like that...but welcome to both worlds guys! Many other new links updated on the blogroll to the right. Again, sorry I can't keep up with everyone who has commented on this blog. Anyhow, all this chat about rugby with both John and Rob have got me itchin' for pain again. The hamster wheel at the gym is again growing old very fast. And I wanna git back up on the scrumhalf wagon again after being a frikkin' winger most of the year last year. My last match went well as scrumhalf, and I forgot how much I missed the position.

And like I say, rugby is cheap therapy. 'Roid rage jokes aside, I really think the practices and matches burn off extra aggression. I've been snarly of late, I know due to the weather, but also perhaps due to lack of an outlet. I lost it this morning, albeit understandably, when the chorus of The Stand-like croupy plague coughs continued from the office next to me, where two baby-boomer work-'til-you-die women have been deathly ill and coughing uncontrollably for two weeks now. After a particularly loud fit of coughing that completely shattered my concentration, I spoke out very loudly saying, "Jesus Christ people fucking GO HOME!" Many coworkers agree and are resenting their contagious presence, especially those who have gotten sick due to their insenstitivity and self-centeredness.

Last week most of the office was sick thanks to them, and I got by with a mere sore throat. If I had gotten sicker due to them I would have gotten really pissed off. One of the women seriously sounds like she has a bad case of bronchitis. I'm sure she's too 'swamped with work' to even go to the doctor. For chrissake people, we stopped getting Perfect Attendance Awards in high school, and it is rare that a task in this environment is so dire that you have to try cheating death just to get it done.

In a discussion I had the other day with Gurl about generational differences, she mentioned how Baby Boomers will tend to work their fingers to the bone until the day they die, and never take leave time for personal enjoyment or for health reasons. Please, people, the owner of your company, University President, the State nor the President of the United States (especially) does not give a shit about your life, and you are the only one looking out for your well being. Enjoy your life, take the time off, and get better. And most of all don't frikkin' get me sick.

In other work news, staff shufflings around here will get me a promotion to a room with windows, sunlight and fresh, plague-free air! I suspect the gloom I've been fighting the past two winters is due to lack of photoperiod exposure, as my current office is windowless. Plus these offices get so damn hot it'll be nice to get some outside air. And I will have plants! Many healthy leafy green plants that will flourish under my care and the blessed sunlight! And I will finally be able to install an aquarium in my new office as well. Oh yeah, and work on occasion too.

Posted by jimbo at 9:46 AM | Comments (2)

January 17, 2005

i'm a slave 4 U

OK, so MAL got better when I just hung up the chaps and hung out in the lobby with my friends Ron and Dave. I met both of them when I first moved to DC, as we had "similar interests" back in tha day. Then I introduced them to each other and they lived happily ever after as a monogamous leather couple, so I figured I might as well hang out with other birds of a feather and ended up having good sit down chat with them and a teammate from the rugby team. I did drive up the nerve to talk to one guy who looked like a furry redneck, but he was coupled up too. Oh well. They were looking for tickets to the dance later that evening, and some other rugby teammates had scored some free tickets they weren't going to use, so I gave the couple the tix as I had already bought my own. My good deed for the weekend, and they were appreciative.

The dance was fun, the sights were totally hot, and the music was really good. I'm glad the DJ didn't put up any kind of butch pretense, as he freely played remixes of Britney's "I'm a slave 4 U," and Madonna's "Erotic," mixed in with teases of "Sexual" the whole night, so I had fun squealing to some girly pop tunes amidst all the testosterone. I did catch up with a lot of old friends, and found out yet another acquaintance of mine ended up winning the pageant. Congrats to Steve and good luck at IML. (Pssst...Steve plays Magic: The Gathering and goes to Renaissaince Festivals! Totally fits with Margaret Cho's theory on those who go to such events of either kind...)

I danced with Gurl and Jeremy and Dave and butterflied around the place chatting with lots of folks and generally had a good time. Never caught up with "Dick Wolfe" though, but maybe next year.

Oh, Battlestar Gurlactica night rocked, and the series looks like it's gonna be rife with gritty dark drama. Unlike the first series, this one focuses a lot on the fleet's search for basic needs. They have to worry about food, water, and are still running scared from those nasty Cylons. Jamie Bamber had some fine red scruff going on in the episode '33'. After I mentioned that the actress Katee Sackhoff (who plays Starbuck) is bound to become a lesbian icon, Gurl coined the new word Dykon. We are mesmerized by the new bizarre and evilly intelligent Cylons, who seem to have a monotheistic religion of some sort, and enjoy fucking with humans on a psychological level. Is this Cylon/human war a post-9/11 analogy? Sci-fi often mirrors issues in the real world, so stay tuned...

Howdy, cowboy! Just had to share that pic.

Posted by jimbo at 11:43 PM | Comments (3)

January 7, 2005

the dukes of hazzard

It looks like The Dukes of Hazzard movie could have some real potential for camp. I hope they don't try to be serious about it. Judging by the cast, it doesn't look like it. The film should turn out to be pure goofball fun. Plus Seann Scott has some scruff goin' on in the picture as you can see. I should just have a category for him by now, there's been so many entries about SWS.

Posted by jimbo at 1:35 PM | Comments (6)

superstud sci-fi friday in one week!

In just one week there will be no reason to socialize on any given Friday, other than to venture out of the house for food and drink. SuperStud Sci-Fi Friday will begin. In one week the series premiere of Battlestar Galactica will start, featuring strawberry blond former rugby playin' stud Jamie Bamber. Then a week later new episodes of Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis begin. SG-1 will feature the return of hunky Ben Browder and his former Farscape co-star babe Claudia Black. We also love Joe Flanigan of Stargate: Atlantis.

Steve raises an interesting thought or two in his entry about overtime slavery. At epidemic proportions in Washington, DC, the concept of "working late" shows that you're one of those hard working guys in the downtown and VA suburb areas. I frequently see sad, tired faces trudging home between 8 and 9pm when I'm on my way out of the gym. I don't buy that lifestyle, or the limited reasoning behind it at all. And it isn't this way in other parts of the country either.

In one case, a "hard working" lawyer I know who usually works until 8pm at least is always "billing hours" at his firm, which involves A.D.D. instant messaging me during those critical late hours. I know he isn't doing shit there, but is probably there because his other coworkers are there. Presence for pretense, which is anathema to me. In another case at a past job, one coworker would be spending his overtime arguing with his wife on the phone, ironically about not being home with her. Most of the day he's also got his elbow resting on the edge of the cubicle, chatting about all his hard work that's done around the place. I'm guessing in a lot of cases, overtime work is actually avoidance of things at home. That's sad, especially when it creates an atmosphere that pressures the other coworkers (who have a life) into working late too.

I believe you can get your work done in the standard 8-hour workday. Anytime over that you are probably tired and unproductive anyway. When I'm focused, I can even do it in less than 8 hours. Sure, I'll have website redesign or newsletter projects due that require I work late and in a quiet, after-hours atmosphere so I can think. If the work needs to get finished and I'm in a productive design groove I'm happy to stay late. I could also count my class and grad school work as overtime too. But for the most part, Real Life (rugby, friends, CivIII, sleep, eating) calls, and your cubicle is a prison and only a thing that allows you to pay the bills. With the job I'm currently in, I deliberately searched for a workplace that values personal time and life over a pretense of hard work. Here they frown upon those who stay late, and I love it. One woman leaves precisely at 4:30pm every day, and will linger only in the event of an emergency. You can find such places, they are out there, I can attest for it. By and large, the people in such environments are far happer, and more complete, than those slaves to the pretense of hard work.

But I noticed they fart a lot here too...maybe there's a connection between good bowel movement and lifestyle choice?

Posted by jimbo at 10:50 AM | Comments (10)

January 3, 2005

droooooool

I was right. RR DOES have chest fur! Examine the image closely, or go get a copy on the newsstand. Furrrrrrry. Cuteness.

Posted by jimbo at 11:47 AM | Comments (3)

December 26, 2004

hunting wild boars, bored

Eeek! Wild swine in the county south of us here in LaCrosse! Big hairy wild boars with tusks! Kinda like The DC Eagle but tastier and they do more damage to crops, not cops.

There was an interesting article in the infamous Opinion section (no link yet, will add soon) of the local paper this morning about a parent of a gay person who had the same concerns Bob had in a recent entry. That is, that all this anti-gay meanness and vitrol has an effect on the minds of gay youth. I'll sign up when crushing happiness and snuffing out individuality truly becomes a Christ-like act.

Can you tell I've been a bit bored out here on the steppe? Three-dozen or so blog entries so far, and desperate cell phone calls to Gurl and Chrisafer. Chatting with EarlGurl and the now-woofy bearded Fitz via videophone was cool. Mom's computer is pretty up to date to be able to do that. Off to the mall to cruise cute burly blond Scandinavian boys in Trebark® camo clothing. Wuuuuf.

Posted by jimbo at 11:20 AM | Comments (1)

December 24, 2004

my favreite green bay packer

The jury is still out on whether or not I agree with Kevin about Favre's new buzzcut:

I kinda liked him better with hair:

Critique and opinion in the comments section! Favre: buzzcut or flopsy-mop? Discuss. Regardless, his scruff remains, and it's always so frikkin' hot.

Went to the local Valley View Mall today to pick up a few things, and was yet again reminded as to why I like big, scruffy, burly blonde boys. It's because that's what I grew up seeing in front of me all the time. Lots of camo ballcaps, Carhartt jackets....grrrrrWOOOF! The honey pot is surely on fire, despite the cold weather. I even saw my old wrestling coach, who ain't lookin' too bad himself...

Here's what I wrote to submit to the opinion section of the local paper:

Homo for the Holidays

While home celebrating Christmas in the LaCrosse area with my family, I've been alarmed and disheartened by the almost daily anti-gay views featured in the Opinion section of the Lacrosse Tribune. What has happened here while I've been away? I recall growing up with a more "live and let live" attitude in this region, rather than this judgmental environment of righteous castigation.

I am guessing many here believe they've been given the green light by the man in the White House and his party to identify and attack whatever groups necessary in order to avoid greater issues such as the economy, war or health care. It's called scapegoating, a common and simple tool used by politicians. Just keep in mind, Ms. Peaslee, that your opinion has been featured in web logs on both the west and east coasts as an example of intolerance in Middle America. You've gobbled up what Mr. Rove has fed you quite well, and your righteous tummy is showing.

Mr. Griffing implies in his piece from Friday that I am evil. While I am a gay person originally from this area, I am pretty sure I am not evil. I do not wake up every morning plotting the destruction of heterosexual marriages. I was raised Lutheran, and remain a person of faith. I do not busy myself by gnawing at the foundations of civilization. I pay taxes, I love batterfried cheese curds, and I care deeply about the fate of this country and its people. To be called evil and to be told that I am here to destroy society hurts my feelings. Mr. Griffing and Ms. Peaslee: you are big meanies, and you have also been duped by powers outside of this region to view me as an actual threat to your lives.

Gay people just want to share the same joys, misery and challenges that straight people face every day, without having to be hushed by a righteous majority. We are not asking for much.

by Jim Bo, Washington, D.C.

Posted by jimbo at 6:37 PM | Comments (5)

December 22, 2004

busted!

Danggit...some meddling kid was gossiping around town and did the he said she said thing regarding an entry I wrote a while back about a particularly dreamy scruffy neighbor of mine. I shouldn't be surprised, as this has happened before - DC is a small town. I usually try not to name names but this one slipped. So said dreamy neighbor called me last night to confirm the gossip. Now, I didn't write that entry to get a phone call from said dreamy neighbor, but hey, what the hell. I only write the truth, or my perception thereof. >; )

I visited the Shaw EcoVillage office to do some volunteer web work at my friend Travis' suggesion. Boy oh boy does that site need help. They designed and maintain it with Microsoft Publisher - that's all I need to say about that. MICROSOFT PRODUCTS ARE NEVER, EVER A SOLUTION FOR WEB SITE MAINTENANCE OR DESIGN! The code was unintelligible, wieldy garbage, and the PR person there was paralyzed from doing anything practical with the site with such a crappy tool. But she has been supplied with Macromedia Dreamweaver MX thank CSS, and I'll be teaching her how to use it. The FTP and site manager is already set up...all I gotta do is finish up the page template redesigns and she'll be an Independent Woman.

And aww gee thanks everybody for offering or sending stuff...the Holiday Wish List was really just for Mom and local friends to get an idea or two, but if y'all insist on shipping stuff from the 4 corners of this God-Fearing Country go right ahead. Multiple xxoo's to Torgonus, joebsf and super-hot Steve from SF. Steve, imagine the two of us at Lake Tahoe, the water sparkling off the reflection of the full moon, us bundled up in our parkas waxing our snowboards together, stopping for a tender moment to rub noses...

When I got home last night I found that some other fish had released babies into the water. The last time the fecund culprit could have been Large Marge the swordtail. Except this time she was dead, so it couldn't have been her. So the new babies must all be guppies, as Pee Wee, Large Marge's partner, has no one to knock up since Large Marge was found floating dead on the surface last week. She was three years old, which is ancient for a swordtail. May she rest in peace. Anyway, it is obvious Gary Evangelista, the male guppy, has been a busy boy with his trio of guppie bitches Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle. I'm glad someone is getting some action in my bedroom. Other members of my aquatic sex club include Hoover the algae eater and Mr. Snuffles the corydora catfish.

Posted by jimbo at 8:54 AM | Comments (3)

November 23, 2004

we've got woof

Finally, we've gotten our own baseball team here in DC. They picked a boring name in my opinion, The Washington Nationals. They could have picked more historic names such as our previous teams The Grays or The Senators, or even my favorite, The Washington Monuments. Imagine a tough little stone colossus mascot guy. That would have been cute.

Anyway, The Gays are hoping Joey Eischen remains on the lineup for Spring Training. We've got woof! Omigawd we're like the same age!

Posted by jimbo at 5:17 PM | Comments (4)

November 5, 2004

like my rod?

Here's yer shirtless pic, bitches. Now shaddap.

Posted by jimbo at 2:58 PM | Comments (14)

and now back to your regularly scheduled shallow entry

Omigawd like LANDON from Real World Philly is like the messy drunk of the cast this year but he's like soooo cute and even though clearly it's not the whole milk from America's Dairyland that gave him those pecs we still like him anyway but is that is naturally curly hair it's kinda hot when he gets sloppy drunk like that...it gives me ideas... so like please send drunk shirtless Landon pics you find on the Internets to Jimbo3DC@aol.com thanks and I'll post them to this entry today. Omigawd Kylie has a new line of panty hose!!! WE LOVE HER SHE'S SUCH A CUTIE! Mmmm...so like here's a pic of scruffy sweaty Seann William Scott for everyone today! He's got like a goofy look on his face in this pic but he's like sooo cute! No politics or armchair psychoanalyses today sorry

Posted by jimbo at 12:13 PM | Comments (9)

October 25, 2004

do what Daddy Jason says

Posted by jimbo at 2:08 PM | Comments (11)

October 18, 2004

Happy 30th, D&D

First off....Scott Bolton: woofy leather dude vocalist from Vancouver with a hot biker handlebar 'stache. Mmmm...I'm a fan. Catchy tunes too!

Apparently everyone but me got the press release about the D&D 30th Anniversary this weekend. Regardless, the geek gang honored the anniversary in style with lots of cookies and carbs and cola and very little actual gaming. It's not about the fantasy role-playing, stupid. Can you hand me my chainmail brassiere, please?

I can barely remember playing my first character, a pre-generated Dragonlance character for the initial modules that inspired the books, back when I was a freshmen in high school in like 1985. I think I played Riverwind, Goldmoon's husband. The first character I created was a 1/2 elf druid of Ehlonna. Before that, me and a friend would play the self-guided Tunnels and Trolls game as well. After that, I became a DM due to my awesome facilitating skills. OLD SKOOL baby, OLD SKOOL.

After D&D a few of us hung out to watch the follow-up show from the FarScape series: The Peacekeeper Wars. We love Farscape for the muppets, the awesome makeup, the great writing, and for Ben Browder, the HOTTEST leading stud of any sci-fi series to date. Tonight will be part II of the Peaceeeper Wars.

Uh oh! Hot guys on TV scheduling conflict tonight! The Nuts for Mutts competition will be on Animal Planet at 8, featuring Survivor's Colby Donaldson as a judge. Woof.

Posted by jimbo at 9:49 AM | Comments (6)

October 4, 2004

my dog is a cop

I just got a call from my ex who tells me that our dog Max, a rottweiler / german shephard mix, is now a police dog. He certainly looked the part, although I think it may have taken them a while to reinstill aggression into him...he was a big cuddle monster.

My dog's job is butcher than mine.

England rugby's Ben Cohen on a water slide with a wet furry chest. MMMMMMAAAGPPPH!

Posted by jimbo at 2:47 PM | Comments (10)

September 22, 2004

hot bald scruffy baseball player with nice schnoz

Minnesota Twins' Corey Koskie

I just had to share.

Posted by jimbo at 1:32 PM | Comments (5)

September 17, 2004

chunky junk in his trunk

Hurricane Ivan has brought some high pressure and cloying humidity to the area. Winds are light, and it's not raining much, despite the big pink glob over us on the radar. It's going to be Miami-like around here for a while I think.

So like I was at lunch with her and her today, and this cute Midwestern-looking boy with a tucked in plaid shirt was eating nearby. He sorta looked like a chunkier version of that guy who played the spineless Republican Mormon in the Angels in America movie. As usual, Chrisafer and Kia could not see the woofiness in what I was seeing, so the visual pleasure was mine alone.

So anyway, after lunch I go to the library to get some journals copied or else my ass be kicked by the frikkin' Uber-Comm PhD students in my grad class. This ain't no undergrad class like last year, so I gotta do mah research.

Anyhow, the elevator door opens on the 6th floor to reveal plaid shirt Midwest boy's chunky junk bent over right in front of me at the computer! ~ drool ~ Somehow, despite his chunkiness, he beat me to the library from the lunch area. He's so cute that he can teleport at will I guess.

So I like try to find my journals, but I can't find them because I'm a spaz and I'm totally distracted by Chunky Junk, so I head down to the 1st floor again to get help from the Libary Special Olympics Staff, of course taking the elevator. I walk into the elevator, eyes affixed to his Chunky Junk the whole time, and press the button to the 1st floor. The doors haven't shut yet, so I move opposite of the elevator buttons to view His Chunkness much better before the doors close. But I totally failed to see this quiet woman there in the small 6' X 8' space, and ran right into her without seeing her as I tried to reposition for a better look at the Chunky Junk in his Trunk. She had probably been watching my eyes bug out the way they do when I'm so-subtley "cruising" someone. She was very forgiving and polite to the blind Chunk-stricken retard in the elevator with her.

Posted by jimbo at 2:59 PM | Comments (1)

July 30, 2004

ray dragon

Many mornings on the subway ride to work from DC to College Park, MD, Little Miss Club Creature often deliberately sits directly across from me in the Metrorail car or shuttle from the station to campus, leering at me from behind her trendy sunglasses. I wouldn't mind the attention, except that I'm not returning the interest, and she just won't quit. At this point it's not flirting, it's staring, and it's rude. Oh yeah, and if she's interested, she can simply say 'hello'. A smile would be nice too - so stop the games. I don't bite unless asked.

So this morning she was trying her Sith Lord Mind Control Technique with me again from behind her sunglasses, so I decided to try something. I was eagerly reading my recently acquired copy of the Dungeons and Dragons supplement book Serpent Kingdoms, which features artwork of a Yuan-Ti Anathema on the cover. A Yuan-Ti Anathema is basically an evil intelligent gaint snake monster with horns and arms. Instead of keeping my book resting on my lap, I bring the cover up vertically for all to see. Missy le Cocktailique suddenly moved her piercing gaze elsewhere. Behold, the Power of the Geek.

And finally for Friday: Ray Dragon. Much thanks to Windreader for these. Y'all have a good weekend!

Posted by jimbo at 3:39 AM | Comments (9)

July 26, 2004

windfall

Good news all around these days (and it's about frikkin' time). My chiropractor appointment tomorrow is back-to-back (GET IT?!? HAHAHA!) with Chrisafer's partner Bubbles. Yep, it's taken this long to get an appointment in since I threw my back out, but I'm looking forward to it A LOT. Imagine cold spring water cascading down your spinal column, with the movement and suppleness of a jungle cat afterwards. That's how good chiropracty is for me.

Then some inheritance money is coming down the pipe, as grandma had a bit more left over than I knew about. This unexpected windfall will probably do away with the credit card debt that's been over my head since I moved to DC seven years ago. Right when it was about to be paid off in full, I lost my job and was un- or underemployed for two years. DC isn't a city to come to without some kind of financial support, but now I'll be able to live a bit more comfortably. When I was in the hole I paid a lot of attention to lessons in magazines and books on fiscal solvency, and this time the rest is going to go into savings to ensure I never fall like that again. We learned a lot during those two years for sure.

I don't know what I'll do with the rest, if any, but will consider a used car, but certainly not a place to buy in this insane housing market. DC just ain't worth a $600,000 spot in a crack-infested neighborhood, and the measly tax credit has not kept up with the rising housing costs, so I don't want to hear about that pittance again. I'll wait until things crash a bit, or just hold my cards and consider other options and elsewheres for now.

Had a nice dinner with Bob tonight, and we discussed a WYSIWYG-like blog reading for DC, probably on Saturday, October 23. Since the Annual 17th Street High Heel Race is the Tuesday after that, and a certain blogger may be in town that week to attend the race, it seemed like a good date. We're thinkin' for now a series of short readings featuring pithy and notorious NY and DC bloggers, followed by a social featuring the music of hot MP3 bloggers, and then the option to go to blowoff afterwards. Stay tuned for more details.

And I found out tonight that Bob did the music for In a Fix, featuring Justin the hot carpenter. Bob promises an autographed shirtless glossy of the hunky man himself, but I'd like a whack or two with the real thing. In light of a slew of hot pictures of Justin supplied by PJ, I heretofore declare this week Justin Week. Besides, the only other thing you're gonna hear about this week in the news is that convention in Boston, that bicycle guy, and of course carbs.

If any of you come across more screen captures of His Woofiness, send 'em my way. Back, front, shaved, scruffed, naked, clothed, it doesn't matter. It's Justin Week, so send 'em my way.

Posted by jimbo at 10:49 PM | Comments (10)

July 15, 2004

adorffable

So like this morning during breakfast I chose to not ignore the latest Britney video on VH-1, and there was the scruffalicious and hazel-eyed Stephen Dorff playing her romantic interest. Together with Britney, they wrecked approximately 36 pieces of furniture in the video. Dorff was also the first in a long line of scruffy hotties in the Blade movie series, and he didn't play the typical shaved smoothie evil vampire either. He was actually a scruffy furry vampire, as some of them should be in order to satisfy the E.E.E.O (Evil Equal Employment Opportunity) Laws. In other scruffy actor news, Ben Affleck has a full beard now. GRRRRWooof!

Please support my rugby team and bid on this Rugby Jock's Game Worn Jersey on e-bay. That's Timmay in the photos. He's really that cute in real life.

The air conditioning is fixed at home, the evil Santorums at bay for now, so my mood has cooled. But apparently I am not alone in my rage. If everyday people are affected like this by the proposed politics from the fuckhead right, imagine working for one of these fuckheads? How twisted would your mind be? How many kinds of mind games would it take to convince yourself to to work for one of these fuckheads? What kind of rationalization does it take to continue to be a gay man who supports Bush, or even his fucked-up party? I only see total emotional wreckage in each case.

Posted by jimbo at 10:25 AM | Comments (7)

July 8, 2004

hot bearded men with big guns

Awww yeah...not only is the 3rd Blade movie coming out in December (Umm...can you say birthday party, anyone?) but one of the dudes teaming up with Wesley Snipes is a hot bearded ex-vampire played by Ryan Reynolds. Oh, he was in that Van Wilder movie! But now with the beard he's like ten times hotter. He may just bump off Sean William Scott off the top of my list for hot bearded young actors.

The face of the new 17th Street crowd (young, straight, overprivileged, dumb, rich, generally helpless) showed itself again last night when I went grocery shopping at the Soviet Safeway. As usual, many of the new folks need to have their cell phone conversations exclusively in the store. I lock my bike up to the bike rack outside, which is used for a variety of other things such as liesure furniture for the homeless panhandlers, and storage area for the street florist. Last night some yuppie scumbag tied his/her dog up to the bike rack. Not only is leaving your dog unattended asking for trouble in this town (pit bull treats anyone?) but lacing the leash THROUGH MY BRAKE CABLES and tying it to the bike rack is also pretty dumb. I unlaced the leash, removed my bike, petted the cute schnauzer, reattached the leash and went on my way. To Mr. Schnauzer Owner: you are dumb and your dog is smarter than you. In fact he said you were a dumbass when I untangled the leash from my bike.

Speaking of smart dogs and hot bearded men with big guns: Hot Diggity Dawg is in town! It'll be good to see his cute scruffy face and hear his hot understated voice again. Woofy, not quite adorkable...let's just say he's shy hot. Chrisafer and Bob are comin' along for dinner too. I've voted for International House of Husbands, but it may be packed tonight. We'll see.

Posted by jimbo at 10:14 AM | Comments (21)

July 7, 2004

moving the death star

Due to a recently completed museum project at work of student/faculty engineering artifacts to display, I seem to have become the owner of a solar-powered car stored in a very cramped lab warehouse. There were two solar cars, actually, and one just sort of ended up there annoying the other engineers with its bulk. When they needed space for their work, they call me to get it moved. This problem is getting rectified, but until then I get these desperate calls to move a very cumbersome and large solar-powered car. Last week before I left town, I moved it temporarily into a corner, and had to relocate it again today. But during the week I was gone, the aerospace engineers decided to build a small Death Star of some sort that's about 40' in diameter and very heavy. While it's not airborne yet, it does have wheels, and with some help I was able to move it out of the way so I could get the solar car put elsewhere. But it was no fun with the creaky back. Just so you know, they are building a small Death Star on campus where I work.

Today during lunch with Kia and Chrisafer, I continued to get their eyes rolling to the backs of their heads with my lusting for men of the dumb, ursine, and simian look. All I ask is lots of fur and barely enough brain function to support respiration and digestion. It led to the quote of the day, "If their knuckles ain't draggin', I ain't shaggin'."

Posted by jimbo at 9:34 PM | Comments (6)

April 8, 2004

bend it

Bleaargh. I'm feelin' like shit today. But probably not as bad as this guy is feeling. Sore all over, probably from rugby, but possibly from Blowoff-related-SARS-syndrome, which seemed to plague a bunch of folks last week. I feel hungover without having drank, and can go from 60 to naptime in 5 seconds. Or maybe it was the 1/4 chicken I had at 9:30 p.m. last night, that allowed my brain to be fully awake and dreaming hard until 1 a.m. when my body was shut down and trying to sleep. I'll take as many naps as possible today and see if I'm up for rugby practice tonight.

So I'm at home today in a Victoria's Secret nightie (black lace) and leopard print fuzzy slippers watching soaps and eating bon-bons a la Peg Bundy. No, I'm not playing hooky because I just got my hands on a copy of the new D&D Player's Guide to Faer�n, or because I'm terribly excited about the D&D Expanded Psionics Handbook either.

DC Home delivery review for the newly carless: Bergmann's cleaning does a great job on oriental rug repair, rug cleaning and dry cleaning for your clothes. Pickup and Delivery is on-time, reliable and the cute deliveryman is friendly and communicative. Peapod home grocery delivery was also reliable, but the online order form took a bit of practice at first. However, with a $10 home delivery charge, you might as well just do your shopping at Safeway and take the taxi home. Or save the service for those 'big items' like spring water and laundry detergent that you don't want to haul around the store and back home.

Still a bit uneased by that dude's comment at practice the other day that I commented on in the last post. I guess no class or group of people is without its members who stereotype themselves and others, no matter how oppressed. At my age I shouldn't be surprised that some gays still feel that way, but I guess I am still naive about such things. Maybe I just assume most members in a community are somewhat like-minded, but I still get caught off guard. I think I have a fairly wide-open interpretation of gender roles, how each of us can behave, and societal expectations of ourselves. Even before I came out at age 20, I never subscribed to the rules of how a man or woman have to conduct themselves based on sex or orientation. I danced like a big 'ol queen at our junior high dances, I wore peach and black when "U Got The Look" came out because I thought it was cool, and I wore flip-flops during little league practice. I just didn't care, and no one (not even my mother) ever told me I shouldn't do what I did, and I didn't think any one person should or should not wear or do this or that based on gender. I guess I had a blessed youth. I like how this progressive group, the Gender Public Advocacy Coalition, thinks and works on the topic. No one should have to behave in a certain way based on sex, gender, or gender-identification. If the American public would just ease up on sex, gender and orientation issues, we could one day move on to more important issues of the world.

I have a friend who is some kind of finance lawyer downtown, with whom I went to a hockey game last year. I think we were both bored with the game, but it was a fun date. He's got hilarious pics of himself in drag on his Friendster profile, but by day you wouldn't know it, as he's in the whole DC lawyer monkeysuit get-up. After the game during dinner, I asked him about his pics and why he does drag, and he replied, "I like to fuck with gender, it's fun." I recommend you try it sometime...you'd be very surprised at what friends have a problem with it, or which ones are alarmed that you've gone out in a dress. It's something I bring up regularly on dates as a litmus test on tolerance. My best friends are freaks, and I am too. However, I strongly believe that heels are very bad for your spinal column, and I don't believe anyone should have to wear them on a regular basis.

And to close this rant, I again reiterate the phrase "A straight person wouldn't have said such an obnoxious comment," to illustrate a point. A straight former teammate audibly farted on a regular basis during practice ("That's a ripper!"), vomited before each match ("Get's me in the mood for a game."), and belched as much as possible at the post-match socials. That's pretty obnoxious, but that was his thing, and we loved him for it. And let me point out another obnoxious jimbo, the mighty straight version, who is celebrating his 2nd anniversary of blogging obnoxiousness.

Despite my sickiness, I'm also feelin' a bit like Posh Spice today...somebody send me a racy text message. Careful clickin' on the link at work now. Sure, it's a photomanipulation and you won't see a bod like that on a soccer player, but with a hot tub laced with Rogaine and a few good meals one can only hope.

Posted by jimbo at 11:45 AM | Comments (1)

March 16, 2004

check out mighty jimbo's hot ripped hairy abs

(Heh heh...watch that metrosexual mofo's hits go up once I post this...gurls check out this entry...)

Once upon a time I did a vanity search on Google for me and my weblog. I typed in 'jimbo' in the search engine, and I got some crunchy granola dude's weblog called "The Mighty Jimbo". At first I was incensed that some crunchy granola dude from the West Coast was getting more hits and was higher up on a Google search than MOI, but then I started reading his interesting posts and realized he was pretty cool for a breeder. He's kinda outdoorsy, is horny much like my older brother, and kinda schnozalicous like Fitz. So we corresponded a bit and now I'm calling him 'bitch' and 'honey', but not 'sweetie' just yet.

So anyhow, I was checking out his gayer than gayest metrosexual post of all time, where he shows off his collection of fabu clothing, and at the bottom is this SUPER HOT PIC OF HIS CHEST AND ABS OMIGAWD STRAIGHT OUTTA BIGMUSCLE.COM HOLEE SHIT OMIGAWD GURL GO CHECK OUT THAT PIC and I got all hot and bothered. Plus the bitch has better clothes than me, and she's straight.

Posted by jimbo at 1:40 PM | Comments (14)

March 5, 2004

small, cute, fuzzy creature

So there's this image some people have of me, which usually revolves around something small, cute and furry. In college my best friend called me 'Teddy Bear'. When I got to DC someone immediately started calling me 'Care Bear'. An ex referred to me often as 'Monchichi'. A few weeks ago a friend from rugby poked my tummy and said "Poppin' Fresh!" I don't know what to think about this, as you know I'm really mean and nasty and bitchy, and I'm not cuddly and cute and furry at all. Not surprisingly, Kenn had too much time on his hands one day, and made this picture independantly without knowing my past small-cute-furry references:



Apparently now I'm some kind of gay Ewok / Carebear mutation that gives out hearts and warm fuzzies to people. Despite this apparent cuddly image, I still can't get one goddamn gay 'Bear' to give me the time of day in this town. What's up with that?

Posted by jimbo at 5:03 PM | Comments (14)

December 15, 2003

coach daddy coach daddy woof

Oh, lordy...I was at the gym on Saturday and an NCAA football game was on. Some team I've never heard of, the North Dakota Fighting Sioux, was on at the time, and when I saw their head coach, my jaw almost dropped to the ground. Mucho Jimbo Lusto. Daddylicious. M'rowr. Just had to share.

Posted by jimbo at 1:49 PM | Comments (2)

June 2, 2003

i just had to post this

Umm...looks like the MTV Movie Awards promises to be interesting...

As I recall, it'll be on Thursday at 9pm.

Posted by jimbo at 10:20 AM | Comments (7)

March 22, 2003

bulletproof woof

This morning I saw the trailer for Bulletproof Monk. Seann Scott + Chow Yun-Fat + Science Fiction/Fantasy + wuxia. What could be a better combo for jimbo?

Today I finally got my voter registration card in the mail. I haven't voted since I moved to DC 6 years ago. I'm sorry, this is all my fault. I will vote next time.

Posted by jimbo at 5:48 PM | Comments (4)

February 26, 2003

too much to ask?

Keith wants to go out again on Thursday, this time to the Green Lantern. I think I gave my Pocket Genie to the Tard, and he got what he wished for, but in case there's any genie poop left in my pocket, here's what I'm wishing for:

• A hot guy to come up to me and say hi for a change, as opposed to me being the extrovert all the goddamn time. Sometimes an outgoing guy likes to feel special from time to time.
• Someone to flirt with me who isn't in a relationship.
• Someone with no ex-boyfriend issues, or currently living with ex-boyfriend.
• Honesty, honestly, and not evasive either. Evasive is shady.
• Someone interested in going on a nice simple date. A movie or dinner, for example?
• Someone who's from DC, and not in town for the weekend.
• He doesn't have to be kinky, just understanding.
• He doesn't have to be an Olympian, but he should be taking good care of his body.
• Someone who doesn't feel the need to compulsively brag about his most recent sexual encounters.
• He doesn't have to be John Wayne, but someone somewhere on the butch continuum between Harvey Fierstien and Brett Favre would be nice.
• And, of course, furry.

Is this too much to ask?

Posted by jimbo at 11:34 AM | Comments (4)

January 28, 2003

greetings from the slag pile

Greetings from the frigid slag-heaps of Wilkes-Barre, PA! It's colder here right now than in Wisconsin, a frigid -2 degrees Farenheit. Nice weather to be indoors at the moment.

I'll be brief as I'm kinda tired at the moment. I'm teaching basic desktop navigation to two classes from 4pm to 1am this week and next, but I'll be back in DC for the weekend. This schedule isn't too far off from my sleep patterns, but we'll see how it goes.

This part of the country is a lot like where I grew up, in that you can just strike up a conversation with someone without them freaking out like they do in DC instantly wondering what you want from them. I'm in the elevator and just start talking with someone, then we walk away, assuming to resume the conversation whenever we meet again without even knowing their name. It's a nice break from what I call the 'New England Shield' that tends to unsettle midwesterners on the East Coast.

My, what big arms you have. Didn't watch the Superbowl last night. Had I been up on who was playing I might have, as I do lust over Alstott.

Posted by jimbo at 1:43 AM | Comments (1)

January 20, 2003

weekend in review

Finally, after three years of hemming and hawing I got my first pair of chaps. As expected, they do make my ass irresistable as everyone promised, as evidenced by the numerous whackings I received immediately after putting them on. Don't leave marks, bitch! They don't look quite right with the Doc Martens, so other boots are in order, as is a harness of some kind.

However, I didn't wear them out last night as they were a bit pricey and I'm not about to break them in in that fashion. It was hot and hunky as expected, my most favorite time of the year. I got into some trouble in the bathroom stall with rugged Irish poster child Jackson from Boston, but abruptly aborted that when my Spidey-sense began tingling, telling me that the nightclub security was on the way. I spent a lot of time dancing with big furry Ben, and he was as warm and cuddly as the bear on Grizzly Adams. Favorite thing said to me last night: "Are you a lumberjack?" Lucky for me the space at Nation was large enough to contain my explosive ego after that comment. The Gina Gurls were in full force, a bit too aggressive as usual. I had to forcefully grab one guy's exploratory hands when he wouldn't take the Ice Queen hint. Stop or you'll be licking the floor before you know it. I don't mind good touch, but when I pull away it's time to stop.

The music was kind of gloomy, and there were no crescendoes to mention. Knee and feet soon became sore, and jimbo retreated to the silence and solitude of home. 'Phew!' Who let a horse sleep in my bed? Time to wash the sheets today and air out the comforter off the second floor patio. Pig.

Posted by jimbo at 2:16 PM | Comments (5)

January 18, 2003

unclean

Posted by jimbo at 3:17 AM | Comments (1)

January 14, 2003

queer guardian angel service

Yesterday I managed to do deadlift squats on the balance board with 45# plates on each side! Talk about mega-ass building workout. Soon after Chris needed to use the board. Nobody but us uses core workout equipment! Tee hee!

I had spotted him earlier in the day as I came out of the Metro station this morning on the way to work. You know you need Fashion Intervention when Jimbo sees that you need some help. I'm no GQ queen but I do know a few rules for work attire. Seemingly unaware that he was no longer able to wear his suit from Confirmation that mom bought him several growth spurts ago, he wore a very tight fitting suit that showed off his muscles, but his socks as well. Hon, it works in the gym, but not at work. Plus, he was wearing Vans and big goofy knit wool Guatemalan mittens, but no coat in the freezing weather. And is unruly cow-lick hair is not just for the gym either. Hair Care Product Alert! Sounds like it's time for a Big Gay Sister Fashion Intervention to me.

I got a belated birthday lunch from a friend of mine from waaay back, like a week after I crashed in DC from Peace Corps in '97. Gil was one of the first gay men I met in DC, and a sweetie pie to boot. He disappeared to Boston soon after, but returned recently after getting his law degree there. It was good to catch up, and he noticed I'd grown up a bit. The past year aged me for sure.

Posted by jimbo at 10:05 PM | Comments (4)

be my mountain man

Super-hottie scruffalicious woofster and his dawg: White Fang and Jack London. And he's smart and all that too.

OK, what's up with the no blogging shit with all y'all? The rules are simple: you read my blog, you publish entries in yours. I can view traffic patterns to my site, I know you're reading. I won't name names, as the list is far too long. I know a few of you are completely wrapped up in brand spankin' new relationships, and simply don't have the time for that tired old blogging stuff. There's nothing healthier than dropping all of your previous interests and friends and completely losing yourself in true love. Others of you are too absorbed in the new computer games you got this Christmas. No excuse! I play CivIII maybe 6 hours each day, but I still have time to blog. Give ten minutes, the payback is immesurable.

Posted by jimbo at 11:30 AM | Comments (6)

January 7, 2003

favre de grace

GRRR! Brett Favre, scruffy as ever, and now Kerry Collins too! WOOOF! What did Jimbo say about the beard trend?

Posted by jimbo at 9:08 PM | Comments (3)

December 3, 2002

my oz bitch

Who's your OZ bitch?
Honestly, I didn't try to get Chris Meloni when I took the test.

Posted by jimbo at 12:04 PM | Comments (9)

November 26, 2002

smurfy, woofy

I'm Megatron Smurf, for some reason: Your Smurf Name Generator.

Requisite woofy pic of Argentinian rugger Felipe Contepomi. Jeezus! Please note 'Topper' brand windbreaker jacket.

Posted by jimbo at 6:48 PM | Comments (3)

September 26, 2002

robert conrad

Robert Conrad was totally hot. I remember watching "Wild, Wild, West" every Sunday at my grandparent's house. Every single episode had him tied up, hands above the head, totally shirtless with that wonderful chest fur (BHI: 3.5). Strangely, in almost every episode his sidekick Artemis was in drag. Gurl, there were some flames behind the scenes in Hollywood, even back then. I tried very hard at work today to find a shirtless pic of him tied up, but couldn't seem to find any.

Hmm...just realized younger Robert Conrad looked kinda like Fitz' squeeze Wil. (Oooh, wierd! Wil Smith, Wil Smith and Wild Wild West, and Robert Conrad! Totally like connected.)

I think Jocko will like these early surfin' beefcake shots of Conrad: with surfboard | killer smile

Honey Pot Fire Danger
'HIGH'
Today!

Hmm...Fitz just sent me this link to a pornucopia of vintage furry beefcake actor pics, such as Conrad and Connery.

Posted by jimbo at 4:58 PM | Comments (1)

September 12, 2002

oops, won't do it again

Ooops! I got a friendly reminder from a certain local organization to get my lazy-ass bandwidth stealin' self from serving up their image on my weblog. I guess I'll be sure to be a bit more careful next time...it could have been the WWE that sent me a friendly reminder. Even in this day and age, cowboys still don't like it when you rustle their cattle.

Speakin' of wrasslin', here's my new favorite professional wrestler, Chavo Guerrero. I better get Richard to teach me some Spanish right quick. Como se dice: "Pin me hard and fast, caballero"?

Another hottie, Pat Burrell of the Philadelphia Phillies, couresy of Bubba. Quite a worthy desktop image for your home computer.

Home Match vs. North Bay
Saturday, September 14, 2002 � 2 pm
Kenilworth Park

I'm not starting again, but will likely sub in at some point.

Posted by jimbo at 11:15 PM | Comments (3)

August 1, 2002

my honey pot is on fire

Disclaimer: blog entries are merely a single frame in the film reel that is my line of thinking and my life. I'm not vitrolic, bitter and angry all the time, just about 1/6 of the time.

After reading Fitz' entry about his goals for the rest of the summer, I decided to call him up and propose that we both go out to the Green Lantern for Shirtless Men Drink Free night to rub elbows, nipples, furry chests and other body parts of the DC pectoral crowd. He needs to get out, and my honey pot is on fire, I said. Fitz had never heard of the phrase "my honey pot is on fire". It means that I'm horny, riled up and and need an outlet SOON. We also discussed the trials, tribulations and rewards of pumpkin patches and gourd vines.

Rugged. Tough. Dependable. Strong. Who's Your Brawny Man? I already nominated Jason. Ignore the SPAM when it comes in, Jason, that is if you're not interested in winning a Dodge Durango. I always thought the lumberjack on the Brawny paper towel packaging was hot. I did the 'Create Your Own Brawny Man' survey and ended up with this:

The Strong Man
All those years of working on the family farm must have done your Brawny Man some good. Strong, tough, rugged...your Brawny Man is the ultimate muscle man. He loves staying active, and has no use for laziness in himself or others. He'll move furniture for you, he'll fix your car, and as a nice added bonus, he'll look good while he's doing it!

And for you New York blog stalkers, we will be playing the New York gay rugby team somewhere in your town on Saturday, November 16. Details to be announced, but for now Rob, Glenn, Dan, jimbo, Jayke and whoever you are cutie better show up or I'm gonna git ornery on yer collective asses. I don't want to hear that tired old NYC excuse that you were too busy to watch jimbo reach his hands in between the muscular, hairy thighs of a bunch of men in a scrum, feeling around for his ball, in order to pitch it to a lithe, swift lad in the back line.

Posted by jimbo at 10:37 AM | Comments (3)

July 29, 2002

the one and the primus

My coach told me never to watch Aussie Rules Football as he thought it would confuse me, but I can still look at the players. My bestest friend Brian sent me these delicious links to photo galleries of Matthew Primus, who apparently rarely practices with his shirt on.

In other rugby-related news, the Renegades made this week's Metro Weekly, which should be a good recruitment tool for our upcoming Fall season.

And my favorite columnist Dan Savage is running a contest to see who is the hottest in tightie whities. Vote for your favorite!

Posted by jimbo at 9:51 PM

July 17, 2002

where credit is due

Woofy blogger shot of the day. If that's gross, then I'm a wastewater treatment specialist.

Posted by jimbo at 10:42 AM | Comments (7)

July 10, 2002

why I'm gay

This article brought back some very old memories...memories probably dating back to my first homosexual urges. I remember very distinctly picking up my brothers' issues of Sports Illustrated, and eagerly leafing through the pages for Jockey underwear ads featuring the Orioles' Jim Palmer and his hairy chest and legs.

For those of you who like cows...especially white cows.

Posted by jimbo at 5:24 PM | Comments (9)

June 18, 2002

the daddy look

I'm all aflutter over Genre Magazine's June Daddy Issue. It features a smouldering fashion photoessay featuring "The Daddy Look". They claim it's now "in". Let's hope they're right. Smooth twinkies get caught in my teeth. I prefer prime American beef over free range chicken.

Yesterday while blog surfing, I found some neato webmaster resources. If cute little navigation icons turn you on, these sites are for you.

Be warned: a friend of mine was mugged last Friday on 14th and S, Northwest DC. There have been several muggings and robberies there of late, precipitated no doubt by the increased number of people up and down that street with loose cash on hand. Gentrification and new restraunts have sprung up there in the past year or so, increasing human traffic and human traffic conflicts. He's fine, but has some remarkable bruises from a strike or two from a chain and a length of rubber hose. Luckily, a nearby samaritan stopped the assault before his injuries were worse. Walk with friends, and don't stagger home after too many cocktails alone.

I'm workin' on the core body workout again. Get out that Gymnic ball and wobble board, and fear my power. I need enhanced torso strength to rip down those other little scrumhalves in San Francisco rugby tournament next week. Grrr. The Fog is goin' down, and I've promised myself to show those pretty little L.A. gurls who's boss. NYC team? Chumps. Manchester? Well, there's so much inter-team "friendship" between us it's hard to be mean to all of one's former tricks. I am concerned about the London Steelers. They've had a good season this year.

Posted by jimbo at 10:28 AM | Comments (3)

June 13, 2002

farscape woof

I'm at home sick today. I felt it comin' on yesterday, and feel like a victim of a freight train attack today. I'll be going to the doctor later this afternoon.

Surfing the net to pass the time. Found a nice goateed pic of Ben Browder, the hottie from Sci-Fi Channel's Farscape. Whenever I watch that show, I always try to use Jedi Mind tricks on the television to make him take his shirt off. Never works though, as I'm just a padowan Jedi initiate.

It's promising to this underemployed webmaster to see that highly paid techies who do back end coding and server work can't design for usability and downloadability worth a damn. It gives me hope that such folks legitimize the hiring of designers when the time comes to make a simple and intuitive website. And then there's cool Flash designers who we wish had blogs. Everybody say hello to Steve from London.

You may notice a change in my blog layout. Not much time for a full-fledged redesign these days, but I moved some things around and added the pic 'o the day that you see. I'll try to update it weekly at the very least, so I guess it's not actually a daily pic.

Posted by jimbo at 10:55 AM | Comments (3)

June 7, 2002

beckham, cool people

One incentive for this American to watch the world cup.

Slow day at work today, thus two blogs for the price of one. When blogstalking, one can't help but notice the near total lack of cool people in Washington, DC. Sure, there are the undermedicated, the quirky and the freakish, but no cool people here. I'm talking about the often jobless, chain smoking people you see at coffee shops in college towns. Part of the reason there are so few cool people in DC is that the standard of living is so goddamn high. Cool people are usually poor and wouldn't be able to survive here. The other reason is that DC is not a cool town. This town is all about conformity, policy and procedure. Coolness is not a part of policy and procedure. Returned Peace Corps Volunteers, freshly back to the US from their host countries, use their cultural integration skills to realize what the DC scene is like. They soon shed their Birkenstocks, Guatemalan weave handbags and tresses for an interview suit, buzzcut and laptop PC.

HTML skill and a flair with Photoshop does not make one cool, even if you're woofy. I am not cool: cool people don't get excited at the thought of shopping at Eddie Bauer for that 'classic' look. Yet I crave coolness, merely because there is so little of it here. Kiri moved to NYC from DC to find coolness such as this, as she herself is cool. Jon constantly bemoans the lack of cool people to meet. Me, I moved here for the guys who are educated and well-traveled. Coolness would be nice, but I can do without the chain smoking. Still, it would be cool to know more cool people to hang out with here.

Posted by jimbo at 2:03 PM | Comments (3)

June 4, 2002

i want my mtv

Dammit...I missed with co-star Jason Biggs in the film 'American Pie 2' winning the 2002 MTV Movie Award for 'Best Kiss'. In this case it was the first award winner for the category involving two men, Scott with co-star Jason Biggs in the film 'American Pie 2'. I'll have to go rent it now for sure. Any comments about how I resemble the woofy Sean Scott are always appreciated, as long as there's space in my room for the bursting ego boost.

Made a few adjustments to this style sheet, and updated my AOL home page. Learning more about Cascading Style sheets, and they are fun!

Posted by jimbo at 11:05 PM

May 24, 2002

searching for turtles

The recent discovery of Chandra's corpse and the constantly repeated news mantra "found while searching for turtles" rings some sort of pop significance in my mind. Sounds like a good name for a blog to me.

In the Far East, the shell was a symbol of heaven, and the square underside was a symbol of earth. The turtle was an animal whose magic united heaven and earth.

This week I started my summer temp work at the American Psychological Association. My office budget duties don't promise to be engaging, but it's an interesting enough place to work, and somewhat close to home.

Tomorrow we leave for West Virginia to go backpacking! It promises to thunderstorm, but hopefully it won't rain much, and otherwise scare away the yuppies and the cub scouts there.

Brad Fullmer, designated hitter for the Anaheim Angels, is now tormenting me with his hotness - he has grown a beard, making him more irresistible to jimbo. Sadly, all the Orioles/Angels games this season are in Anaheim, so there's no excuse to go see the Orioles unless Ken Caminiti returns to baseball from his crack-induced exile.

Y'all have a relaxing Memorial Day weekend! Grill some good chicken for me.

Posted by jimbo at 9:00 PM | Comments (2)

May 20, 2002

obelisks and ironies

I went to the US Naval Academy in Annapolis today to watch the freshmen plebes try to mount a greased obelisk to fetch the symbolic hat on top. Imagine a few hundred lean, mean Navy boys in t-shirts and shorts, trying to climb over each other while getting coated with the lard that's covering the obelisk. Then they get quite sweaty and wet from the upperclassmen spraying them with water. Two hours of this went on. There were a few women in the mix, but they got tired soon during the fray. The monument was about 4 people high, so you can imagine all the contortions they had to do to mount the thing.

After about an hour of watching, the homoerotic element faded, and it was interesting to see how they adapted to try and get to the top as exhaustion set in. It was ironic that they didn't really start cooperating until the second hour. This coming from a student body being trained for leadership. I guess the irony is that since they're all leaders, there are no followers, and thus the struggle. Eventually, the hat on top was taken by a tall black guy, which was cool since there hasn't been many at the USNA until recent years. I was rootin' for a few of the tough glamazons who were doing a good job climbing over the men, but they ran out of gas by the second hour. Some day a woman will mount the obelisk to fetch the little white hat on top. You go girl.

Posted by jimbo at 8:28 PM

May 15, 2002

where in the woof is matt lauer?

Where in the world is Matt Lauer? As of 11am today the international NBC news crew lost Matt and can't find him. His last known location was somewhere south of Howard University Hospital on T street, chatting with a crazed unemployed webmaster who kept telling Matt his new beard growth was 'woofy'. Better check my bedroom.

Apparently you can vote today on Access Hollywood's page for Matt to keep or lose the scruff. Jimbo campaigns for the fur.

Posted by jimbo at 2:07 PM | Comments (2)

March 27, 2002

9 rugby players

Yet more snapshots in Metro Weekly of the bachelor auction.

Posted by jimbo at 4:04 PM

March 23, 2002

philly trip

After a long drive up to Philly I got to meet Bubba (a.k.a. Rob) for the first time. Let me just say that regular electronic correspondence and digital pics don't do the man justice, especially when he's wearing a pair of tight Wranglers and black cowboy boots. Makes a Jimbo wish he was born a Southern Belle instead of a Dairy Queen. I'm inspired to add a pair of size Jimbo Wranglers to my closet, as they add a special charm to the behind. Anyhoo, it was fun to meet Rob after two and a half years of bitchin' to each other by e-mail about our relationships, troublemaking, and jobs.

Speakin' of meeting bloggers...I forgot to mention that Fitz, My'ra, Jon and myself were all under one roof at the same time at the bachelor auction...a mini jimbo.info blogger convention! Now all I have to do is meet Jason, my evil twin Jocko Jimbo and Richard. Hmm...keep in touch guys, it may be a while before my travel budget becomes that flexible. Speakin' of Fitz, some of the gurls and even some of the girls were swooning over him at auction.

Anyway, back to the Philly trip...I also met up with my hometown pal Kari and her husband Mike. We caught up on tragic Holmen, Wisconsin gossip, and I've been assigned to gather intelligence information on who's working at Skogen's Grocery Store now (the nadir of career paths in my hometown).

I'll be in God's Country the last week of March, so if you don't see any blog entriess, it's because I can't get to a computer, or there isn't much to talk about. Crap...I'll miss the opportunity to take my niece to the Holmen Barbie Fashion Party. I hope to get pics of me in front of the Sunfish Capitol of the World statue, and me next to King Cambrinas, the Patron Saint of Brewing. I'm also hoping trout fishing season is underway, and go fishing with my brother.

Posted by jimbo at 11:45 PM | Comments (3)

March 21, 2002

shameless hussy

Shameless pandering of flesh and jockstrap to help pay for match and field fees. Thank the Recently Single & Unemployed Thus Finding Food Tasteless Diet for my ripped abs.

Posted by jimbo at 11:25 AM

March 20, 2002

rugby meat

I'll be making a Princess Appearance at tonight's Renegades Rugby bachelor auction, as I want to go shake it later at Cobalt the rest of the evening to the groovin' tunes of DJ Sailorboy7. I'm only going because Fitz is gonna be there, as I spend too damn much time with rugby people.

Yee-haw...another interview tomorrow, this time with the World Bank Clean Air Initiative. Like yesterday's interview, I'm flattered to have been chosen for a personal interview out of over 200 applicants. It would be a good fusion of my environmental education degree and my tech skills.

This weekend I go visit Bubba and Kari up in Philly, which will be fun. EVERYBODY's going to the Black Party in NYC, but I just don't have that spring in my step to make it. Plus, I need to save money.

There'll also be a phone interview tomorrow for front desk position at Sports Club LA. I'll take the job if it's offered, as I gotta start making money soon. I'm not gonna lose my new car! Bobby thinks I don't have it in me to put up with the elite membership of the club, but I have years of visitor center work under my belt from being a park ranger. If I can put up with pushy German tourists ("VHERE ARE ZEE BEARS?! SHOW ME ZEE BEARS!") I can put up with anyone.

Posted by jimbo at 12:07 PM

March 19, 2002

happy, happy, joy, joy

Jimbo, why are you so happy in this picture?

I think the photo was taken some time in January at the rugby clinic in Manchester.

Posted by jimbo at 4:38 PM | Comments (4)

msg

After my morning job interview on Water Street in Georgetown, I have to go put more change in the meter before I go get some lunch. Finding I have none to spare, I go to a nearby hot dog vendor and buy a Green Apple Charms Blo-Pop for $.25. This buzzcut blue collar lookin' guy (woofy to Jimbo, if you can imagine) waiting in line looks at me and says "MSG"? I look down at my Blo-Pop and ponder how many licks it takes to get a daily serving of monosodium glutamate, and look back up at Woofer quizzically.

"MSG. Marine Security Guard?" he asks again. I shake my head and smile, my expanding ego threatening to collapse the K Street overpass above me. Thank you Diego's Barber Shop for makin' me so fly.

I thought the interview went good, and I think I answered her queries well. We shall see!

Posted by jimbo at 3:36 PM

March 9, 2002

gusher

Nose already bloody from a previous slam, this Woofer's comin' at me cuz I'm goin' for the ball. In slo-mo I see his Dick Tracy jawline comin' at my head, then crunch, I know it's not gonna be pretty. Chins can be sharp, even when closed (see May injury, 10 stiches to chin from the other Jim on the team).

Then I'm on my hands and knees, wondering when my chi will stop flowing all over my hands. It felt like they were under the tap, left on lukewarm. I get up, and everyone wants to see it, but all I can say is "Get me some gauze".

I get trucked away to Three Stooges Hospital in Richmond with broken collarbone Brian. I'm under the tender care of the love child of Mike Tyson and Stephen Hawking. Dude's gotta learn some grace with the suture technique. Excuse me...I have a modeling career to consider! Found out you get an eyelid tuck for every four stiches to the face, so I'm set for another ten years.

Said Woofer's in the emergency room too, two stiches to my eight. Heh heh. Momma raised a hard-headed boy. My jersey and tee look like they were at a tie-dye party. I hope somebody crass took some pictures.

Aww shit...the black eye's either gonna gain butch points with the brunch date tomorrow morning, or he'll say 'eww!'.

Posted by jimbo at 11:08 PM | Comments (2)

February 12, 2002

beckham

Hmm...even though Manchester United's David Beckham lives in a foggy, drippy town, he's pushing a new line of sunglasses. He started growing on me when I went over to Manchester, and found a coffee table book about him. Not only is he kinda cute, but he's Posh Spice's husband. Sadly, the Spice Girls are no longer with us.

Brits can't make Web pages, so I would do well over there.

Posted by jimbo at 9:21 AM

February 6, 2002

woofless

Dang it...just when Adam Vinatieri was startin' to look woofy with that beard during the Superbowl, he shaves it off. I guess it was one of those "good luck" growths.

Uh oh, Time has now written about blogging.

I like Moveable Type, it's purdy and easy to use. Still can't figger out how to make all my archives say 'jimbo' posted them, as opposed to 'kiri'. Just read her blog and you'll start to see the differences between us. I have a bit more hair on my legs, but she does play rugby, thus the confusion.

Posted by jimbo at 9:37 AM | Comments (8)