October 22, 2007
good times
Crimeny - you'd think after a week since the Packers beat the Redskins at Lambeau Field in Green Bay that the locals would be over it. I didn't even think about the significance of wearing a Green Bay Packers shirt out on the street last night, and forgot there was a Redskins game that day. So as I'm walking around Eastern market I hear hisses and boos from rabid Redskins fans. Bitter, bitter people. Crazed like purple Baltimore Ravens fans I guess.
The vital match this weekend was a nail-biter and a heartbreaker, with a final score of 25-27. While we were the leaders in points scored in our division as of last week, I don't quite understand why we don't have a likelihood of getting into the playoffs. The officials have been silent on this matter, so perhaps there is still hope. Winning Saturday's match would have sealed the deal, however.
It was a nice Saturday to be outside, and later that day the South Africa Springboks beat England to win the rugby world cup in France. Blowoff was a crazed event, and I saw lots of friends and got to catch up with many people. We were blessed by an appearance of our coach's wife who dove right into the Saliva Pit after asking politely where it was. Good times.
Some nice things about DC:
- lots of concerts and events;
- free museums!
- a new U.S. Botanic Garden;
- Lactaid is available at most major grocery stores.
Team Photo from this Saturday:
I don't think I'll have time to throw together a costume for Halloween this year. Just too busy with work and stuff, and well, I just feel busy. Charlene takes a long time to prepare, and I haven't had much luck with a kung-fu Shao-Lin type of costume either. I haven't even had time to dig out the plastic pumkin purse for trick-or-treating. I will have plans to be out of my house on Halloween. From past experience, the neighborhood kids come to trick or treat in no costume, say "Gimme candy!," and leave without saying thank-you. I seem to skip Halloween every other year, and this is an 'off' year.
Posted by jimbo at 1:55 PM | Comments (2)
October 18, 2007
women are indeed allowed in the saliva pit
Last night the little spot in my head flared up where I got multiple sinus infections in college while I was taking scuba class. As I ascended up the water column during a test while my sinuses were clogged, something burst and I bled profusely through my nose. (You shouldn't go scuba diving with a sinus infection, fyi) From then on it always hurts a little when the air pressure is changing quickly, so I expect some rain to come through soon. Hopefully it won't dissipate into humidity and dust like all the precipitation has this fall.
This week in my favorite new advice column Ask Bob: women not allowed at Blowoff?!? Horsefeathers! I mean, at the last Blowoff there were a buncha lesbians monitoring fluid exchange in the Saliva Pit. I had no problem with it and they seemed to be enjoying themselves too. There's fun for everyone there - Saturday, Oct. 20, at the 9:30 Club.
Dammit, Chaka-Kahn is supposed to be performing at H2O in town for Howard University Homecoming, and A Year With Frog and Toad (my favorite gay couple) will be at the Strathmore. But tonight is the last practice before a very important match on Saturday, and I need to desperately grasp on to the last remnants of my masculinity the best I can, so I need to be at practice. Anyway, we're top-ranked in our division in the local union, which is very exciting because we've had some really challenging years, with some matches where we did not score a point, or others where we got up to a hundred points scored against us. These days we're not only competitive, but we're winning. The match will be at an idyllic farm in Poolesville, and I hope to get some photos.
I will be going to see Annie Lennox next week with the same bunch with whom I saw Emily, Amy, and Cyndi . It's kind of wierd how all the same artist's names end in the diminutive case. Annie better frikkin' sing because the ticket was a pretty penny.
In order to remain completely superficial and continue to degrade myself by constantly putting physical beauty on a pedistal, here is a random picture of some hot guy with a gun:
No, I don't know him and I can't remember where I found the pic and I can't refer him to you.
Happy thoughts - happy, rainier times in Homer, Alaska at the end of the rainbow:
I worked there in 1993, and visited again a few years ago when the photo was taken.
Posted by jimbo at 12:14 PM | Comments (8)
October 17, 2007
Larry Craig is a big fat lying homo
This morning I was watching pieces of hott Matt Lauer's uncomfortable interview with creepy lying bathroom cruising Senator Larry Craig. It was so sad I was cringing in empathy for his wife. Senator Craig's whole family is going through a media circus in order to maintain Larry's feeble grasp on the lie that he has maintained for so many years. And it's so obvious he's a creepy lying bathroom troll, everyone knows it, and yet he is working so hard to drag his family down with him into the urinal. Craig says, "I don't approve of that lifestyle," even though he has been repeatedly caught in the seediest acts of the lifestyle he denounces. Fuck you too, Larry.
This compartmentalization, or cognitive dissonance, is common in DC. What people legislate during the day is quite different than what they do at night. Someone recently cursed me (for wearing bad footwear) to constantly have to date only uptight clean cut Republicans, but the joke is not far from the truth. You really have to watch out for these guys in this town - closetedness and tha down-low situation are at near epidemic levels in DC. Fortunately I have fairly good filters to detect such bullshit in people I date.
Conversely, an out-of-the closet acquaintance of mine was beaten by three people at the Georgia Ave./Petworth Metrorail station this week. He was in work clothes, is European, kind of slight, and a bit fey in his appearance - which of course can be interpreted as gay by certain ignorant and hateful groups of people in DC. He was not robbed, and I suspect he was beaten by these three people for sport. He's a very nice guy and this attack was seemingly random, possibly motivated by how he looks and acts.
The news of this attack, and the escalation of the cries of 'FAGGOT!' from down the block (and sometimes outside of my window) kind of makes me want to obtain a gun. I am convinced people act out what they think, and what they say reflects what they're thinking, so I take these words seriously. But guns are actually pretty heavy, and I'm sure the day I choose to leave my gun at home I'll get mugged. I'd really rather not have to carry a gun in my gym bag all the time. Knives are lighter I guess. I have a nice serrated gardening knife with a comfy rubber handle that might work better.
Gays are an easy target by those whose rights or position as a minority group are higher than the homos'. Everyone feels better with a heirarchy in place. Our moving into transitional neighborhoods is merely a symptom and one of the first stages of gentrification - but we're not the cause of gentrification. But ignorant people who are terrified of change and difference need a scapegoat, in a town where scapegoating and unloading responsibility is old hat. So it's far easier for these people to take it out on some other group. To blame gays and hate gays because they're the first sign of change. Fear of change leads to anger - anger leads to hate - hate leads to suffering and all that said Master Yoda. Even the local churches have perpetuated this hate and continue to do so.
With the awareness that I am designated as a target in my neighborhood, maybe I should think seriously about getting a gun. I used to know how to shoot a B.B. gun, .22 and a .375 H&H Magnum rifle when I worked in Alaska. But the latter is a rifle intended for killing big game but certainly an effective thought.
The calls I've made to the DC Metropolitan Police Gay & Lesbian Liason Unit have gone unanswered. And by the time I've been jumped the cops will be too late. Time to be proactive I guess. I'm not gonna go down hanging off of a fence.
Posted by jimbo at 11:33 AM | Comments (25)
October 11, 2007
gotta be tuff with the scruff
Goddammit: Buffy the Vampire Slayer sing-a-longs cancelled by Fox.
...Fox has pulled the license for ALL their TV shows from theatrical exhibition. This is effective immediately, and of course includes Buffy and “Once More With Feeling”.
From the ShawNeighborhood listserv:
I just heard what sounded like 10 gunshots somewhere north of where I am (6th &P NW )at about 2:55 pm, followed by lots of sirens- sounds like police sirens as well as fire engines and or ambulances. Anyone have any information?Clearly, it was the 12th-Annual Shaw Skeet Shooting Tournament sponsored by the North Capitol Rod-and-Gun Club of Washington, DC. Fish fry to follow and there'll also be live entertainment (polka band!) under the beer tent. See you there.
Oh wait, I thought I was in Wisconsin.
"Gotta be tough with the scruff": MANtage by Barats and Bareta:
Cute with Chris has nice scruff today.
Not scruffy, but nice flattop - Brandon Stokley (Denver Post / Portrait by Cyrus McCrimmon):
The Broncos interviews: Brandon Stokley, by Mike Klis, Denver Post Staff Writer.
Kinda reminds me of Howie Long back in tha day: 
Redskins vs. the Packers this weekend at Lambeau steppe. It will be a no-brainer. Scruff will prevail:
Posted by jimbo at 9:50 PM | Comments (5)
Happy National Coming Out Day
OMG it's National Coming Out Day!
I came out when I was good and ready, not necessarily on Oct. 11. But it's good to be out. The air is fresher and I don't feel the need to express my sexuality in an airport bathroom - I can do that in a gay bar, and it's sooo liberating.
I came out after I explored my sexuality during a summer study abroad trip in Europe waaay back in 1990 or so. The first half of that summer I studied forestry management in the Black Forest of Germany, and pollution studies in Poland (a GREAT place to study pollution, fyi). The rest of the summer I whored around in Köln, Oslo, Amsterdam and London, and came back wondering why Stevens Point, Wisconsin didn't have festive, open-air gay bars like those other cosmopolitan cities. I didn't feel like readjusting from megacity gay life to semi-rural gay life, so just stayed out. That and I felt like the secret life I was beginning to live was alienating me emotionally from my family and close friends.
Coming out wasn't as hard as the anxiety of planning to come out, or the anxiety build-up of how I thought people would react. For a while after coming out I was trying to manage people's reactions, then I just gave up and let them roll how they would. But in most cases relationships strengthened rather than soured. There is something about truth and honesty that makes people believe in you more. I think it's also known as integrity. People respect that in a person.
I think coming out for personal reasons is just as important as coming out for the good of gay society. More healthy, happy, open gay people mean a better perception of who we really are. Being closeted is a kind of emotional constipation, and when you finally drop that big load in the psychic toilet, you finally feel sooo good inside, and you're pretty much regular thereafter.
Posted by jimbo at 9:28 AM | Comments (11)
October 10, 2007
Burning the Ground
Photo sent to me from Cobban at Lopaka Lounge - an illustration of why we hate those little stickers they put on the apples these days.
For slow or clogged drains I highly recommend Rooto brand drain opener - but please follow the directions. As I write my leg burns from some backsplash, I'm kind of high, and mosquitoes are dying as they try to enter through my open doorway. My beloved basement spiders are all dead (Lloth is not amused) and the burning poison gas cloud roiling out of my home drove away the raccoons too. As I poured it in the clogged drain a burning brown geyser shot up from the drain, but it's no longer clogged. Rooto can be purchased at Logan Hardware.
It's the 17th Annual Reel Affirmations International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival weekend, organized by my former roomate. One of the featured films is Circle of Friends, featuring Bob Mould, on Saturday, October 20 at 11:45 AM in the delightful Lincoln Theatre Only $10, plus a free drink! The festival runs Oct 11 - 20.
As Halloween approaches, size does matter: I watched Lords of the Gourd: the Pursuit of Excellence on PBS the other night. Mark Lewis' The Pursuit of Excellence, a series of four one-hour films, celebrates the ambition, determination and passion of those who pursue distinction in slightly unconventional fields. In Lords of the Gourd, viewers encounter offbeat and endearing growers who tend, pamper and coddle their plants as if they are children, coaxing them to grow to unnatural size.
OMG a blog dedicated to Olivia Newton-John: More Than Physicial from DJ Paul-T, who also gives us Burning the Ground, an 80s and 90s remix blog. Thanks for the link, Stebbins!
Posted by jimbo at 8:10 PM | Comments (6)
October 9, 2007
some things that sux donkey dix
I guess I'm not done venting...here are some more things that sux donkey dix:
- Those little labels on apples and pears that I often miss and subsequently eat. The same goes for the tissue between layers of sliced swiss sandwich bread.
- America On-Line (AOL).
- Web 2.0. Bitmaps of anything. Photoshop abuse. Poorly resized images. Feeble ISO settings on the digital camera.
- Winning the Amazing Race but spending all your prize money on carving up your face, even though you were hot before you got half your face removed.
- Fake blogs. Fake bloggers. Weekly unbelieveable fake blogger made-up drama. Those who believe them.
- Whoever ate all my Nilla Wafers.
- Raccoons in the city, but not Raccoon City.
- Heroes on Monday night, me without TiVo, with boring night class in the same time slot.
- Extreme narcissism, navel-gazing and self-absorbtion on Flickr: 
Posted by jimbo at 10:34 AM | Comments (18)
October 8, 2007
goddammit, people part IV
Goddammit archives: 12/1, 12/8, and 12/15, 2006.
Goddammit, people: don't put your fucking empty Chipotle cups or your bag of dog shit in my garbage can on trash day - the garbage men don't pick it up unless it's in a trash bag, and I'll eventually have to put away your greasy-ass wrappers, sticky Chipotle cups, or reeking bag of dog shit in a trash bag later myself. My garbage can is not there for you, it's there to be emptied.
Goddammit, people: checking up on my blog may make you feel like you're catching up on what I'm up to, but bitches, y'all got my phone number, and that celly hasn't been ringing a whole lot lately...
Who the fuck ate all my Nilla Wafers?
Goddammit, people: write down the Difficulty Class of your spells before you cast them, have the Player's Handbook open to that spell's page for reference in case a question comes up, and will you stop stacking your goddamn d6s into monoliths, you fucking geek!?
Goddammit, people: I don't care how long you played football - this is rugby, and you throw the ball with two eyes (contact with your receiver) and two hands. In the 8 years I've been playing this game, I have never, ever, seen a blind pass thrown with one hand work to completion. Listen to me you fucking douche bag: I've been at it longer than you so keep your sass to yourself and STFU or you will never, ever get the ball thrown at you again.
Goddammit, people: what the fuck kinda networking site won't let me update my profile!? No, I don't want to go into
Tools > Internet Options > Security > Trusted Sitesto diggle with the settings, goddammit. And no, I don't want to join another networking site, thanks. I don't care if all the cool kids are doing it....
Goddammit, people: the whole purpose of an online hookup website is so I can shop with extreme prejudice - if you don't have a face pic I won't spend that much more time looking at your wares. And no, I don't want to e-mail exchange to get them later. If you don't have a face pic you are retarded, closeted, or both.
Goddammit, people: you ask me to pimp your venue, campaign, business, or program, follow it up with a "Thank You" or buy me a beer at least. No more pimpin' anyone else's shit but mine. Not even O.N-J or Battlestar Galactica - and I mean it.
Goddammit, when is it going to rain? I'm sicka this dry sticky dusty summer bullshit. Mondays don't always get me down, but we sure could use a rainy day or two.
Goddammit, people: update your frikkin' blogs! Like with an entry or something. At least complain about something. Duh.
Just venting, thanks!
UPDATE: OMG Skwurl called me today, and he hadn't even read my passive/aggressive comment about keeping up and catching up. Awww.
Posted by jimbo at 12:37 PM | Comments (16)
September 30, 2007
Niagra Viagra 3000 Unit
I took it easy this weekend and got a lot of sleep. The pond pump died so I went to Frager's Hardware to get a new one. The model seemed to be the same, but when I installed it, it turned out to be the Niagra Viagra 3000 Unit, and gave the goldfish quite a workout until I rearranged the flow to a less violent spout. I don't want the pond to be like a salmon spawning channel. But now all is well, and the flow and warm submerged pump should keep it from freezing over the winter. I gotta get the guppies out as they won't survive, but the cheap, hardy dime store goldfish will.
An amoeba is probably eating your brain right now.
Alexyss K. Tylor - Spiritual Sexuality Part 4 update from Brian. Do you have a problem performing oral sex? Alexyss provides solutions with a retro Max Headroom-style background. "Do you like cherry? I love cherry."
Megadeth with Heavy Metal Josh was fun. He was glad the opening band didn't sound like "Cookie Monster Metal," which I assume means that they didn't sound like Cookie Monster singing "For Whom the Bell Tolls." I for one would like to see Cookie Monster do some metal. I also learned there is a rivalry between Megadeth and Mettallica fans. From the brief review of songs I listened to beforehand, they were right-on with the music, and very sincere in their performance. There was a hot, fireplug guy in the mosh pit who looked like a 5'4" Matthew Fox with a shaved head, muscles and tatts. That made it worth every penny.
Annie Lennox on Oct. 25 at the Lisner Auditorium for $125?!? It's expensive being a gay these days. I'll have to think about that one for a while...
Posted by jimbo at 5:42 PM | Comments (4)
September 26, 2007
back from the beach
First off, I thinned out my water garden iris in the pond. Soaking up the previous cesspool nutrients has been good to them this summer. If you have an aquatic garden with lots of sun, and space for a pot about the size of a KFC bucket, this iris could be yours! Contact me if you meet the prerequisites and we can talk about when you can come pick up the extra iris.
Have you downloaded the new Duran Duran single 'Falling Down' yet? It sounds nice. Simon hasn't lost his voice, that's for sure.
I'm back from the beach with Delicate Flower, Clay and Martini Gurlatalova. The weather was cooperative and it was a nice getaway. Here's a few more photos:
Everyone brought their dogs:
Lemme tell ya children: the secret to eternal youth is to avoid excessive drinking, smoking and sun. There are a lot of beach residents with that leathery look that I should avoid since I tend to stay out of the sun when I can.
I managed to do some birdwatching and took photos here and there:
Lawrence Bruno Nero Dallaglio was not at the beach. I just thought this photo was hot:
I loves my ornery Dadtastic English ruggers. However, I haven't been watching much of the Rugby World Cup lately.
The black eye sure was a conversation starter at the beach. People normally don't approach me in public otherwise. Ironically the meaner, black-eyed look somehow allows a conversational 'in' that people would not consider otherwise. No complaints here. I'll have to get beat up more often.
Posted by jimbo at 8:14 AM | Comments (5)
September 24, 2007
A&F test roll
Another short posting from the beach:
I have been serving as Norwegian Gayherd all weekend, honing focus among the gossip- and cocktail-crazed gays, who often forget about sleeping and good nutrition in their quest to adhere to the strict beach schedule. Beach A followed by Beach B and then we have to go to Aqua for pre-dinner cocktails followed by dinner followed by post-dinner cocktails. I find it all very exhausting, so I try to keep them well watered and fed.
Posted by jimbo at 10:27 AM | Comments (2)
September 23, 2007
Hi from Rehomo Beach
Hi from Rehomo! We're having a lovely time. Not much connectivity here, more pictures later.
Posted by jimbo at 5:49 PM | Comments (4)
September 8, 2007
time for another neighborhood meeting
Today I played some rugby in the September sun, but it wasn't so fun. The temperature was above 90, and so was the humidity. Not fun weather for rugby. After about 20 minutes I felt like I was gonna die. My preferred temperature regime for playing is from like 50-60 degrees or so. I know - I was whining earlier about how fast this summer has gone, but just to let you know, I'm over that now, and am ready for cooler weather.
Anyway, I played a position called flyhalf for the first time today, which I guess our temporary coach thought I had played before. I had played positions on either side of flyhalf, but never flyhalf. It involves a lot more decision making than in other positions I prefer to play, and I don't think I get the ball out to the wing fast enough. Plus it was frikkin' hot and no fun cuz of the weather, and I'm not in shape. More practices will help.
On a different note, I've noticed that since I moved here in June, there is a near-constant presence of young men hanging out at the end of the block, at the corner of 5th and Q, usually outside 446 Q St., NW. A neighbor I spoke with this evening tells me this has not always been the case, and Q street was purportedly a quieter place. But that's what happens on the wavefront of gentrification - things change yearly or even seasonally. Sort of like after a cultural wildfire has passed with destruction, growth, and regrowth - this seems to be an ugly time for this part of the 'hood.
I've lived in other countries and cultures and consider myself pretty tolerant of a lot of things. I pass between straight and gay culture daily. I don't mind potsmoking either, but I can tell there's always something extra in those blunts. I've also tried not to feel threatened by a group of youth with seemingly no visible source of income, who don't work or go to school, who all wear the same color clothes. I've let the noisy evenings (often screaming across the street) and street parties that go on until 2am slide. Luckily, I don't have a car, but I would try to park elsewhere if I were you. Anything in their purview seems to be considered their posession, and they will sit and spit on it as they choose.
But when I have hear the word 'faggot' spoken in my direction when I walk home from work every day it starts to bother me. Usually I let that slide in most occasions too. But I don't want to go home and feel threatened every day. It's a bad feeling.
So I'm thinkin' it's time to tap into the neighborhood meetings again, just to see what's being done, or what I can do. Even though I've been a renter, I've gone to neighborhood meetings at my past two addresses. It helps to knock heads and get together and talk sometimes. I know that if a particular address gets enough police complaints or reports logged against it, some kind of warning or eviction notice can be made. I've seen the owner of this property out in his garden (which is very nice) but I'm guessing he's either asleep, passed out, or doesn't care by nightfall, when the crowd starts to gather and the problems begin. One neighbor claims to have seen drug dealings going down at that end of the street. I haven't seen a deal go down myself, but can smell pot all the time from that direction, which like I said doesn't bother me normally, but when it's accompanied by daily street parties, noise, garbage and threatening behavior, it's time for more things to change on the wavefront.
Posted by jimbo at 7:37 PM | Comments (28)
August 31, 2007
Tag body spray banned on school playground
Opening the newspaper this morning, I was almost thrown and overblown with bliss* when I read this:
Colo. School Bans Tag on Its Playground"Finally," I thought, "that irritating stanky body spray is being banned...as it should be!"
But then I read the article and found out that it's a story about the increasing wussification of our children. Wussy peace-loving daisy-eating parents think that the game of tag harms their kids. These kids will then never be able to play rugby, because they'll grow up to be unaggressive flower children. I remember Homer mentioning that some younger guests at his annual Easter egg coloring and hunt did not want to participate in the egg hunt because it was 'too competitive'. That's pretty retarded, in my opinion. Sorry to sound like a crusty old grampaw, but I think recent generations have been so oversensitized, coddled, and their asses wiped for them so much that they won't be able to function in a real world. In my day we played 'dodge the shrapnel' and 'last one poked with a pitchfork gets gangrene' - and we liked it!
What's worse is they'll all be wearing Tag body spray so they won't be able to smell trouble coming either.
Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about how much time I spend flirting with or diverting energy towards guys who are partnered. It is my energy to divert as I choose, however wise or not. I'm not talking about hanging out with a partnered gay person (TJ, Martini, OMGDJTM, etc.) in a friendship capacity - I'm talking about reckless flirting or going further than that with partnered guys who are (or are not!) in open relationships. A friend told me I might be doing it because partnered people are safer to flirt with from an emotional perspective. They're probably not going to leave their partner for me, and I don't risk anything emotionally flirting with them. As long as no one gets hurt. But then I wonder if I'm spending more emotional energy than my buget allows on these endeavours. In other words, if I spend all of my limited spare time flirting with or having fuckbuddies who are partnered, where is the time for dating single, truly available people? That's assuming I want a relationship of my own, and assuming I don't consider partnered people in some way available. It's a time management issue where priorities must be made, I guess. But then again I haven't had many dates with single people lately, so it's not a very pressing issue at this time. And Gurl says that between work, rugby practice and matches every Saturday, and grad school, I'm too busy anyway. It also seems easier to ask partnered people out on a date than it is to ask single people - or at least my success rate is higher with the former. Isn't that fucked up? I try, I fail, I keep trying. Perhaps single people are more guarded, or I'm braver with partnered people. Then some asshole tells me "Oh, it will happen when you're not looking!!!" and I want to poke their eyes out with a dirty chopstick. STFU.
I don't have much planned for Labor Day weekend, and that's a good thing. I'm going to the Terps vs. Villanova football game with a work colleague, which should be fun. I'm not really a football fan, but I got a free ticket and I think the experience of going to a game is fun, if only once a year. The halftime field show featuring the marching band is fun.
* Name the song from which this phrase originates
Posted by jimbo at 9:32 AM | Comments (18)
August 30, 2007
The Invasion: just not the same without pods
There's something creepy about pods - milkweed pods, okra, pea pods, alien pods. Sadly, pods are absent in the film The Invasion, and so is any discernable accent between either Daniel Craig or Nicole Kidman. Plus it's directed by Joel Silver, so it sucks. But of course the film has plenty of unnecessary explosions and a car chase. The only redeeming quality of the movie was to try and spot where the scenes in DC were filmed. "OMG that's my MetroRail station where the crackhead pees every morning!"
In reference to the Larry Craig scandal, Patrick asks: "I'm sometimes a little behind the times...why is bathroom crusing called "tearoom?" I forwarded the question to tearoom historian JoeMyGod, who responds:
"Some say that "tearoom" originated in England as a polite way of not saying "toilet room" and that the proper way to write it would be "T-room". That's sort of right, but while the expression IS English in origin, it comes from the archaic English reference to urine as "tea", therefore a place where one urinates is a "tearoom."
Thanks for clearing that up, Joe!
I think the inclusion of both Scary Spice and Marie Osmond on "Dancing with the Stars" is totally unfair to competing rap stars, football players, and people like Jerry Springer who have no previous professional dancing experience. But I'm gonna watch it anyway.
Posted by jimbo at 10:52 PM | Comments (8)
August 27, 2007
Well Monday has turned out all right. The coworker who has been helping me paint my new office came in Sunday to work out at the campus gym, his gym was closed, so he decided to get his workout in finishing the painting job. Here's to a good workout ethic - props to my man D.B. So I'm a day ahead, and it's a tight time of year for publication deadlines, so I could use the extra day.
Crimeny, it was hot on Saturday. The storm rolled in during the rugby match before I was purportedly supposed to play, bringing cooler temperatures, but lightning as well, so the match was called off early. Still, it woulda been nice to get some play in. I may be comparatively old, but the match wasn't a World Cup prelim.
The above photo a testament to my fabulous gay lifestyle. Here's me, OMGDJTM, Jon, and Mark at Checkers yesterday.
So 'Steve' has an e-mail, that still doesn't prove he's not faking a persona. This weekend when I was at Nellie's with a friend, I met the hot guy in the MetroWeekly photo "Steve" from Baltimore said was him. The real person's name is Ken. He does not live in Baltimore, and is not in a band. And he is not Steve, and I informed him that there is an Internet Troll in Baltimore claiming to be him. I've recieved a number of testimonials from people in Baltimore who claim that this guy 'Steve' flirted with them using other people's pics, and then a no-show in every case, usually with excuses ranging from hives to the Hanta virus. Typical Internet Troll behavior. I don't need to e-mail anyone or respond to anyone who is a liar and a fake. Go back to your troll-hole, 'Steve'. If there was any credibility left to real, personal blogs, you undermine anything that's left. And for those of you who still wish to believe in the tooth fairy, don't stop believin'.
What is so wrong about this guy is that he's working hard to get pity from people, now playing the vicitm to the hilt. While he is indeed pitiful for many reasons, the truly evil part is that not only is he faking a persona, he's using the death records of someone he doesn't know in one of his fake stories. I'm guessing the parents of this deceased person wouldn't be amused that he's doing this, nor would the person whose photos he's using appreciate that either.
Posted by jimbo at 10:22 AM | Comments (10)
August 25, 2007
Returning to work wasn't so brutal, but there were 600 e-mails to check or delete, all of which had an 'OMG' flag attached to them, but ended up being unimportant. I have to move offices. It's not a problem, other than the stark government white that was in my room:
I have never painted any place I've ever lived in, so I consider this good practice. But painting is really, really tedious. Many thanks to the makers of iPod, and apologies to those in the office next door who have to hear me sing along with Stevie Nicks, Whitney Houston, and the Spice Girls.
It's only Noon and it's already hot as...well, it's really frikkin' hot outside. There's a rugby match today and I really don't mind if I don't play. No one needs to see me puke.
The match was hot, but a cooler front came in, bringing lightning with it, so we had to commence the match early. I think we were ahead. Here's Phil, John, JB and Jason (foreground) lining the pitch out at Gosling Farm before the match. I became so sweaty that I could not take any more photos, as I did not want to get My Precious camera sweaty and greasy.
Posted by jimbo at 1:02 PM | Comments (7)
August 23, 2007
keepin' it real
Oh jeezus, who ever thought declaring jihad was so exhausting? Truth is hard work. Anyway, moving on...here's a real picture of me, taken with a real camera. My real barber Tina did a real extreme job when all I asked was for a clipper fade on the side:
I did not want to end up looking like Sgt. Jimbo, 2nd Mate in the Blog Gestapo Legion of Truth, but some things can't be helped I guess.
Anyway, to wrap up that drama , it was another blogger who e-mailed me recently that best summed up how to sniff out bullshit on the 'net: make sure you establish a 'chain-of-trust' map of people you do know, whom you have met, who you know to be reliable and trustworthy. Anything else is suspect. And depictions of tragedy and drama are always seductive, and good reading! But too much gives reason for skepticism.
No, I do not think Vladimir Putin shirtless is hot. He's pale and hairless. But I applaud his shirtlessness for just being shirtless. The political analyists don't need to go any deeper into it other than shirtlessness is next to godliness. Gays have known the joys of shirtlessness for years. Vladimir Putin: you are awesome, but pasty and hairless.
My luggage arrived yesterday. I'm afraid the cheese curds aren't as fresh as they could be, but I'll bring them into work tomorrow since there are some unbelievers here. I'm glad I took yesterday off - sifting through e-mail took a lot of time yesterday.
First rugby scrimmage of the season this Saturday, on a weekend I had hoped to keep free of commitments. But the field is at a fabulous farm out in Poolesville, on the banks of the upper Potomac. It's quite idyllic so I can't pass it up, and I hope to take some good photos then.
My post-Wisconsin thoughts about living in DC remain the same - I am not a crazy person for saying hello to people here, for being outgoing to strangers, and expecting to converse with people right after meeting them, because that's really how people behave where I grew up. But you start to feel crazy here when you keep behaving that way, and get such mixed reactions from people - usually shock, sometimes complete ambivalence. In Wisconsin, there are no expectations with starting up a chat with a person, and people say hello to you in almost any circumstance, just to be friendly. Returning to the subdued and comparatively unfriendly Mid-Atlantic is always a shock.
That, and I'm reminded every time I visit back home why I like the kind of guys I'm attracted to: big, scruffy rugged guys turn my crank, because that's what I grew up with. I was imprinted on what is 'woofy' at an early age. It is too bad guys are so clean-cut here in DC - more guys need to have goatees and wear camo pullovers, in my opinion.
Posted by jimbo at 1:32 PM | Comments (26)
August 21, 2007
back safe and somewhat sound
I made it back to National in several pieces, as my luggage went lost somewhere along the way. I'm hoping it wasn't the 2 cans of LaCrosse Lager I tried to smuggle in my shoes. If I don't get it back, some people aren't going to get their official Lake Pepin Laura Ingalls Wilder tee-shirts for Christmas!
Everyone loves pictures of my mom's piddly dog, Jilly:
Jilly has a weak bladder, but her cuteness makes up for it - almost.
Yesterday I went to the National Bald Eagle Center in Wabasha, MN:
They let you right into the eagle enclosure, but it really smelled.
The Chicago waterfront on the way out of O'Hare airport:
The death toll from the flooding and mudslides around my hometown reached 22, with more storms to come, yet all I saw on the news in the airports today was how a hurricane was somewhat near Texas, threatening oilfields. I guess if it isn't happening on the coasts, it's not important.
Posted by jimbo at 7:18 PM | Comments (8)
August 20, 2007
oh jeez
Many communities just across the river have been severely flooded, or have experienced landslides. It's basically been raining nonstop since Saturday. Photos from the LaCrosse Tribune here.
Today I drove my brother up to the Minneapolis airport. I took the river roads back home, and snapped this photo of a barge on the Mississippi in the mist, from Lake City, MN, birthplace of waterskiing:
Korn Fest was fun, albeit wet. Photos from the whole weekend here. I'm flying back to DC tomorrow. I hope some of this wet makes it to DC at least.
Posted by jimbo at 8:30 AM | Comments (9)
August 19, 2007
Local transportation:
Art by my Aunt Diane, a masterwork:
Dogs Need Korn Too:
Oh yes, batterfried cheese curds were had:
There was a throwdown horseshoe tournament too. The Harris twins sweeped the competition:
Posted by jimbo at 2:04 PM | Comments (5)
August 16, 2007
The Coulee Region
I had an uneventful flight, thanfully. There were lots of soldiers on my flights who were going to Fort McCoy, then eventually to their doom in Iraq.
There was a couple who were quarrelling at Ronald Reagan Washington National (whatever) Airport, all the way to Chicago O'Hare. Like they were making really hateful, mean faces at each other, all the time, while their 1 year-old baby was peacefully asleep, unaware that her future is going to suck because her parents really shouldn't be married. It made me reconsider my current pro-relationship opinion. Marriage isn't everything, and if you don't get along, you shouldn't be together.
Anyway, the air is fresh and the sky is clear here. They have the doors sealed shut and the air conditioner on when it's 85 degrees with no humidity. I started an open-window rebellion in the house. We had king crab and tender steak. I am full and will probably remain so until I return to DC.
Korn Fest starts tomorrow. Fasten your seat belts...
Posted by jimbo at 11:15 PM | Comments (10)
August 14, 2007
echoes from the void
We got our grades back from my Financial Management class, and while I bombed the final and mid-term, the paper I wrote (or pity) got me a final grade of a 'B'. I passed and won't have to take that goddamn class ever again, for which I am thankful.
I wrote a while back about some 'possible changes' that were on the horizon for me. Well, that didn't pan out I am sad to say. I interviewed for a new job on campus where I work. It would have been an upgrade in pay and responsibility in a field I'm more interested in. I got a phone and in-person interview, but I was sick as a dog a the time and did not have my game on as much as I could have. I left out or did not mention a lot of things I could have contributed to the job. I keep forgetting that I can do things that other people can't do very well.
The disappointing part is that since then I've gotten no word at all from the interview committee about whether or not I was considered after that - nothing, not a word, except for an envelope of the interview materials I handed out during the interview. The envelope had no cover letter or any information at all included with my returned publications. The next day I happened to go to a meeting of my peers and got word of their final decision from another person's announcement during the meeting. She got the job, is qualified, and I'm glad for her, but hearing about the search committee's decision by word of mouth was kind of disappointing. I guess if my only function in the interviews was to serve as the token guy (or gay) of selectees, they don't need to inform me whether or not a selection had been made.
With this summer's move and resultant busyness, to be honest I was not in the mood for another major life change, and a new job would have been just that. But I was excited about the possibility, and to just get dropped out of the loop without a word was disappointing. I might expect that from a crappy date, but not from a purportedly professional organization. A form rejection letter will get the message across, but echoes from the void is just cold.
Chin up, I will be OK, and will keep trying. This October marks my 4th year in a single position - the longest I've been in a job to date. But it's time to move on as the plant is growing out of its pot. I have to stay in the institution where I work to continue getting reimbursed tuition, and I think I have three classes left to go, so I'm sorta stuck here until 2008.
Posted by jimbo at 10:27 AM | Comments (5)
July 26, 2007
OMG my picture is in MW
Commentary on some pictures from the Saturday, July 14, 2007 Blowoff by Ward Morrison:
It was fun. I wish I remembered more of it.
Thank you everyone who sent me the link to the naked rugger movie that shows all these hot guy's penises and everything. No, it's not work safe, and no, people on our team don't run around naked like that. DC is all about propriety. I don't mind cooling my balls off in the wind after practice, but EVERYBODY, homos and straights alike, freak out when I take my clothes off. It's like they think my penis will engorge and start attacking when exposed to the air. I don't consider myself a nudist, because it's all about cooling my balls off, but I guess I'm more comfortable being naked than most people. I just want to cool my balls off, is that so much to ask?
Posted by jimbo at 1:32 PM | Comments (9)
July 24, 2007
OMG Contaminated Shoes
This is me at work:
Last Friday we received an expected package with some broken insturmentation inside which was leaking a wee bit 'o mercury all over the place. The recipients of the package came to our office to pick it up, and sorta dribbled the shiny stuff all the way down to their lab. When I heard the words "mercury spill" I got the frack outta there in a flash.
Wasn't Kurt Russell a total hottie back in 1983?
OMG Cher. I'm not brain damaged from the mercury, it's just Gay Attention-Deficit Disorder (Gay-D.D.).
Anyway, they finally get around to testing for the stuff today, and the sandals I wore are Hg-positive! I'm gonna get all Karen Silkwood on their asses! My shoes emit 0.072 mg/m3 particles of mercury into the surrounding atmosphere. Not enough to kill anyone, but it was recommended that I put the sandals and the bag I carried them in on the roof to bake in the sun and blow in the wind for a while until the substance sublimates away. I should be fine, but now I'm socially contaminated because I have to wear my old pair of Tevas. Some would say I'm worse off now than if I were wearing my newer, but chemically contaminated pair of sandals.
Posted by jimbo at 11:52 AM | Comments (14)
July 3, 2007
This week's recap: OMG iPhone OMG iPhone OMG iPhone
First off, bitches: I did buy a fine new pair of sandals at REI this year, but I choose not to wear them because my beloved and gawdawfully old Teva sandals still feel oooh soo much better.
I don't even want to get into the whole Bush pardoning Libby thing...it's just too depressing to think about how arrogantly disdainful this administration is of any recognition of law. In 1997, I moved from Kazakstan, a former Soviet Republic, to the Royal Monarchy of Bushtexistan.
OMG everyone STFU about those fucking iPhones. Whatever, Borg Queens. Like we need more people walking erratically on the sidewalk and checking their e-mail during movies anyway. Nearly 90% of my near-collisions while on the bike are with people fondling electronic gadgetry and not paying attention to where they're going as they walk in random directions down the sidewalk. And if I see some obnoxious queen checking Manhunt on the dance floor I'm gonna hurl that thing against the wall. You know it's going to happen.
Anyway...I finally have Internets access at home, and have buckled to society and Tha Man and have ordered a cell phone. No one makes plans anymore, and I'm tired of fighting to try to get people to meet at a fixed time and location - it's always "OMG I'll call you when I get there..." I also no longer have a land line, and no longer need one, so it is time.
With all these technological advancements, now I can text message on the dance floor in my Tevas and annoy as many people around me as possible. I can't wait.
Oh, Kylie on Dr. Who is confirmed - for a Christmas special no less! It's been a good summer for Divas and assorted Girl Power issues and events.
Posted by jimbo at 11:17 AM | Comments (11)
July 2, 2007
Jimborella, Queen of the Universe
Here's me doing my best vacant bimbo stare in honor of my favorite bimbo space ranger. I did not arrive early enough to get in to see the film - when I arrived the line stretched around the perimeter of the Hirshhorn sculpture garden, and a good number of people had to be turned away. Next time I won't pimp an event out if I want to actually see it.
So riding my bike to Dinger & Dumbek's house for some poolside time was a little challenging, especially when the suburb turned into trackless, twisting, flowerey-named avenues and courts which befuddled me. We District residents are accustomed to our orderly street naming and convention. Riding from their house to the Silver Spring MetroRail station was a breeze, and I had planned on taking the Red Line back into town. But apparently the Red Line also Sux Donkey Dick, as it stopped in Takoma indefinitely, only one station on the way into town. But I had my independence with me, so I rode down into the District from Takoma through Rock Creek Park. It was an unexpected, but nice bout of exercise outdoors. I think it wore me out, as I was plain tired the next day, when he moved in upstairs, so I just supervized the moving of boxes. She stopped by to say hi. I think I'll start calling her Mrs. Kravitz now.
On Sunday all I did was run around and fix stuff that is breaking faster than I can repair it. Now my debit card PIN number doesn't work. June was a disaster. Here's hoping July and August calms things down. I've officially declared the entire month of August mine since I blew my spring and early summer with all this moving and things associated with it. In August I am not committed to doing anything, so there.
Posted by jimbo at 3:39 PM | Comments (8)
June 25, 2007
Mowgli goes to a baby shower
I went to my first baby shower for a former coworker today, and it was a painfully uncomfortable experience. I was the only male in a room of some 20 women, and it was much like when I went to a seminar years ago on 'How to be an Outstanding Receptionist' in a room of 200 female receptionists who hated their male bosses. Plus I have a small nuclear family with two older brothers, and my mom, while most loveable, was not an exemplar of feminine practices. She's better with power tools, ripping out old carpet and refurbishing doorways.
Anyway, I never had much exposure to feminine rituals during my youth, and baby showers are pretty much all about being girly. Then after I came out, I still didn't hang out with many women. As femme as some of you queens think you are, you're still not even close to the level of girlyness exhibited at a baby shower. Spending a lot of my time with a rugby team also doesn't help me get much exposure to feminine things. Even the wives of our straight teammates are manly.
Going to the baby shower made me think I was a lot like Mowgli from The Jungle Book, who only hangs out with bears.
At a baby shower, food presentation is more important than eating it. Everything has to be situated perfectly, but there is no mention of when it will be eaten. It's almost as if the food is a sacred presentation that must not be disturbed until the last possible moment. But once it was time to eat, it appears that waving your tongs over the bowl of fruit bites is more important than selecting an item to put on your plate. The buffet line inched along at an incredibly slow pace, as it appears that the time spent selecting the food item somehow reduces its caloric value. Perhaps it does.
Then there were the parlor games. Baby Bingo wasn't so bad, but they were using M&Ms for game pieces, and I ate all of mine, so I lost the game even though I knew what a 'Nuk' was. When it came to the game where you try to predict the exact circumfrence of the mother's tummy, I felt it was time to leave before I had to demonstrate that my tummy was as big as hers.
I can only imagine what a same-sex male couple baby shower would be like after an adoption or artificial insemination volunteers. I'll send my regards and a gift from the registry if invited.
Posted by jimbo at 5:18 PM | Comments (11)
June 21, 2007
the cost of good souls
Charlene can't do this:
I am so going as Metroplex next Halloween.
Whoa...Dell sent me a new motherboard - the next day. I guess if your motherboard capacitors look like fresh muffins it must be dire.
To date I've really enjoyed my graduate school courses - one class taken each semester. Until now most of them have been theory or concept classes, but one requirement before graduation is to take Financial Decision Making for Managers, and it's kicking my ass. I never took accounting in high school, and my background is in life sciences. This shit is totally new territory for me. Sure, I do need to learn it and it will become useful one day, but it's all brand new to me.
To illustrate my ignorance in the subject, the other day my professor was talking about something called the cost of good souls. When he first introduced the term I rolled my eyes at the thought of conservative Christianist concepts infiltrating even the most mundane classes with their terms. What the hell do spiritual matters have to do with accounting anyway? But after class I went through the chapter and realized he was just saying "the cost of goods sold" in a thick Maryland accent.
Posted by jimbo at 11:27 AM | Comments (7)
June 14, 2007
Linus Loves
I'm dog/cat/housesitting in Takoma this week. Here's Linus:
Linus basically walks himself and pees on a regular schedule in previously designated locations. The hardest part is meeting the needs of the very needy cat who must have human contact at all times. Other than that, I'm doing the whole Takoma / Silver Spring thing and will be attending a Silverdocs movie on Friday night and drinking coffee at a lesbian coffee shop and letting my leg hair grow out like everyone else around here.
I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters feat. Linus Loves
Look On The Floor - Bananarama (They look well-preserved!)
Stand Back - Linus Loves feat. Sam Obernik (and dreamy dancer in video)
At the campus where I work we recently received a memo about something called "Campus Based Privileges for Designated Individuals," that is, peope who are designated by a university employee, who are 18 years old or older, reside continuously with the employee, and is not in a landlord/tenant relationship with the employee. Examples of such individuals include spouses, domestic partners, and adult children of employees. I call this "domestic partnership lite," as the designated individuals get use of library, fitness center, health center, counseling center, daycare and thank Zod use of the university golf course!
The above stated "designated individuals" do not get health care benefits or tuition remission. While the memo is a welcomed first step towards full parnership benefits, it still infers that a "designated individual" is not the same as a spouse. The tone of the memo says to me "We will give you some of the benefits that we get, but you don't get all of them because you're not like us, and you aren't worthy of the benefits our spouses get." In other words, the memo says that same-sex partners are not the same as married opposite sex couples. Fuck you too, assholes.
Anyhow, speaking of pets, Pets-DC is hosting their annual Pride of Pets doggie show and pageant at 3pm this Saturday the 16th. All you Flickr freaks should enjoy the opportunity for cute doggie pics.
Posted by jimbo at 11:09 AM | Comments (18)
June 8, 2007
Little Internets Shop of Horrors
If there's anything that makes me feel good about my personal collection of beat-up and/or used furniture, it's looking at other people's beat-up, ugly-ass furniture they try to sell on Craigslist. Here's a collage of choice items that are thankfully going for a price that honestly reflects their style and quality:
I think I have phone service now. Of course they arrived to diddle with the wires the moment I left my home, but I called the number from work and at least you can leave messages on it. I'll know for sure when I get home.
But still, Verizon Sux Donkey Dick for eternity unless they come to my house, say they're sorry for treating customers like dirt, and baking me a nice German chocolate cake from scratch. And give me a foot massage. And put together my entertainment system. And a manicure. But until then Verizon Sux Donkey Dick for eternity.
Posted by jimbo at 11:42 AM | Comments (3)
June 2, 2007
the amazing new spider-home
I signed a year lease Friday afternoon, moving commences Saturday, unpacking and settling Sunday. Here is the view from the street:
Here is the front area, which is quite sunny:
The back area is an odd shape - I'm not quite sure where I'm going to put the bed:
Here is the infamous 'Gollum Hole' that leads upstairs. The upstairs folk may drop food scraps down for Gollum:
A potential cesspool project for later:
Me old back hurts from packing.
Posted by jimbo at 8:12 PM | Comments (12)
May 30, 2007
Pursed Lips Sink Ships
I came across Tuesday's edition of the Washington Post and at the top of page A10 was a story title that instantly made me think of TJ:
Pursed Lips in Poland Over Image of Purple Teletubby
The link goes to a related Washingtonpost.com blog article as the original is gone for some newfangled Internets reason. Like, 'pursed lips' and 'Teletubby' makes me think 'TJ', get it?!? Ha ha.
Jeez, I've been blogging so infrequently that the entries are falling off the page. My mind has been a whirlwind of tasks and chores in preparation for the move on Saturday. I found out that movers weren't as expensive as I remembered them to be. I tend to just assume everything is expensive in DC, but the price is worth it. I'll just make sure I watch the clock to ensure they bill me correctly. So like, friends who haven't called me in a while can feel safe calling me again. I won't ask you to help me move.
And I move not a moment too soon. Last night I heard the scrabbling sounds of a small mammal running around above the dropped ceiling tiles. My spiders were pissed and started lobbying me against the perils of illegal immigrants into our home. Legislation pending.
I know I haven't been posting about hot hairy scruffy guys lately either. I apologize, so here's woofy baseball player Mark Hendrickson of the Dodgers. Click the photo gallery on that link for more woofiness. Woof. And here's some woofy radio host named Matt Morris, not to be confused with the woofy pitcher Matt Morris, shown at left.
Joe.My.God went to see the Broadway stage production of Xanadu. I burn inside with fierce green flames of envy.
This move and the limitations my salary brings to my housing options got me thinking that I need to get a raise. Rent has doubled but my salary has increased only by slight increments. I'm in a department that is twice the size and twice as busy as other departments that have two to three people doing what I do, with my equivalents in said departments have higher titles which correspond with higher salaries. I either need an assistant or a raise for what they're having me do what I do now. Plus I often get the feeling that I'm considered little more than a desktop publishing program, as I often have little input into what I do and do well. It's not just the salary, but the responsibilities and skills I bring to the job and want to exercise that make me feel like it's time for a chat with the boss about something called a 'reclassification' of my title. For a job that gives me nightmares, I should be earning a little more so other stressors in life aren't so threatening. If that doesn't fly then I will go elsewhere within the institution. I still want to finish my Master's degree in management so I do plan on staying within the university, since reimbursed tuition is a nice perk and I am enjoying my classes.
Posted by jimbo at 8:13 PM | Comments (6)
May 29, 2007
your flatbed for a song
I had a nice holiday weekend. I was in dire need of a break from work, the city and personal thoughts and it was good to go somewhere with a slower pace. I went tubing down the James River with a friend and ate lots of good food, and just kind of sat around, which was nice. Charlottesville is just close enough that the trip isn't exhausting, just far enough that attitudes are different, as is the pace. After I move, I need to get out of town again!
I've pretty much settled on moving to 4th & Q by Saturday. Currently debating movers vs. moving myself. Movers are a wonderful luxury and I really don't have that much or that far to move. But movers are also expensive, and at the rate that I move that starts to add up.
Posted by jimbo at 11:12 AM | Comments (6)
May 25, 2007
a skwurl in my attic, a troll in the basement
Happy Memorial Day Weekend! If you have a backyard barbeque during the weekend, please save a burger or two for Ann Coulter:
I took today off - aaah, I needed that badly and a four-day weekend as well. With the impending move I'll probably take a few days off then, but there'll be some left for a summer vacation later.
I toured the latest home lead yesterday afternoon with Skwurl and Sean, who also happen to be looking for a shared 2BR unit. While we were viewing the home I noted that we would complete the triad of masc/musc/mil if we moved to this residence. I'll let you figure out who is which one. Anyway, I would conceivably take the basement unit, which was as 'cozy' as the landlord described. It even has its own spider population so I won't be lonely. I'll have to admit the upstairs is very nice, with a cute kitchen and four rooms on the 2nd floor, with a particularly sunny room facing the street that I already covet. The landlord is a gay soccer player, and not bad to look at either. I did not sleep with that landlord.
I'm encouraging Skwurl to make one of the upstairs rooms a "gaming room" with a large table with dice drawers for all our d20s. He's currently negotiating with Evil Sean on a gaming room vs. DJ studio. I mean, a gaming room idea is clearly cooler than the other idea. Anyway, there is a Gollum Hole from the basement to the 1st floor that Skwurl and Sean would occasionally drop food down for Sméagol if Sméagol is good. The place isn't 100% secured yet, but we all have good thoughts about it.
Posted by jimbo at 12:30 PM | Comments (9)
May 23, 2007
28 Weeks Later: not a good date movie
28 Weeks Later is not a good date film. And the moral of this movie is that you shouldn't be nice to people or Europe will get infected by the Rage virus. The moral of the first one, 28 Days Later, was don't be nice to monkeys. That makes a lot of sense to me. Monkeys are nasty and so are chimps.
I thought I was going to have nightmares last night after seeing the film, but apparently newsletter deadlines at work are more disturbing to me than flesh-biting enraged zombies. My work-related nightmares about rats peering at me from the air ducts have ended now that my big deadline has been met at work.
I wiped out on my bike today as I rode down the National Mall. A runner appeared from behind a tree, and I swerved on the pea gravel and landed on my shoulder and hands. A large group of tourists gathered around and I got up rather quickly and said, "I'm fine. Thank you." I think they also saw my other injuriy and thought I must do this all the time.
I got this stigmata (I also have a Gloriole) the same day as Jerry Falwell's funeral.
COINCIDENCE!? I THINK NOT!
I bleed for truth and justice. Let this day be a new day for My People.
I got a promising lead for a basement unit on Q and 4th that I will check out tomorrow. The area even has its own name-branded gang! The landlord sounds cool anyway, and the price is right. It is deeper into tha 'hood, but I was expecting to make some kind of sacrifice with the move.
Posted by jimbo at 10:49 AM | Comments (22)
May 22, 2007
leprechauns in the dust
My rugby team is composed of about 49% gay men, 49% straight men
...and two leprechauns:
Groundbreaking research finds that if you slow down a Kylie Minogue song it sounds like George Michael. Some queens have far too much time on their hands. But I'm just jealous. Imagine if you could harness that curiosity into more scientific innovation - queens would rule the world and/or take off into space and settle down in a distant galaxy.
Posted by jimbo at 2:23 PM | Comments (6)
May 21, 2007
OMG shoes
The end result of my rusty horseshoe restoration project:
Soaking them in super-steeped darjeeling tea added an interesting black patina to them, but the shoe wax just made them look greasy. They don't feel greasy though, and don't shed rust anymore.
Hunting for housing Sux Donkey Dick these days and has brought back some charming memories from past roomate situations. Like the one time I came home and a roomate was using my cherished ramen pot to melt her armpit wax. As I walked into the kitchen she was applying it right there next to the stovetop. Armpit stubble and congealing wax coated the sides of my pot. Or the guy who would drink himself unconscious over the course of the weekend until all he could do was puke blood. I'd clean blood splatters of the toilet rim most Monday mornings. I'd like to opt out of any roomate situations because of those memories. When I lived in an apartment, there were the two potheads in the unit across the hall who would get together every Saturday and smoke weed until 4am and yell "HEY MAN! YEAH, MAN! WOW MAN!" over 4,000 times in an evening. I'm not keen on apartments either.
I've come to realize I really like my spider-infested hobbit-hole basement unit on Vermont Ave. It's very quiet, close to everything, and I get a front and back yard. I like basement units.
The only non-roomate, non-apartment options within my price range are in places like Deanwood. Have you ever taken MetroRail to visit the Kennilworth Aquatic Gardens? The gardens are beautiful, but I'm not excited about living in a "transitional" neighborhood again - walking from the station to the gardens is a bit of a multicultural gauntlet.
I'm not coupled and am on a university salary, no car and work is on the Green Line. Ashburn and Sterling are not an option either. My pay is pretty good for a university salary, but DC is now affordable only for overpaid lawyers, corrupt Bush appointees, and couples who are willing to live within 5' of each other at all times. Friends who lament my exodus from the gayborhood are all in fixed-price rental situations and have no idea how things have changed in just two years. Equivalent places like where I have lived have doubled in price in two years while my paycheck has not. There is supposedly a real estate crash going on, but I think that only means flippers won't get double back anymore - just like 1.75 times the original price (waaah!), and they don't sell in a week, more like a month (waaah!). An informal survey stroll down T Street between 10th and 7th this weekend found about 5 homes for sale, 2 for rent signs and 4 other cat-factory style run-down homes. I've investigated the squatting laws in DC and that option isn't viable (or legal) either.
I like my job, and I like where I live, and I don't want to switch jobs just to be able to pay for housing. The options dwindle after that decision is made. Convenience of commuting is also a factor - I drew the line at 45 minutes max long ago - either by car or mass transit. Anything longer than that is a significant drop in quality of life. I do lots of activities downtown and I don't like the idea of going back and forth all day, especially with the MetroRail system sucking as much as it has been lately. With my last two moves I've lucked out where places have fallen into my lap in one way or another, but I have a bad feeling about this move.
Posted by jimbo at 7:50 PM | Comments (9)
May 17, 2007
Happy Syttende Mai!
OMG DJ TM™ is hawt. So is the one to his left. Photos by Joe Tresh. Grrrr!
Speaking of whores and harlots, the Washington Renegades Rugby Football Club is having a 'harlotfest' tournament this Saturday morning starting at 10ish at the field behind the Holocaust Museum*. A harlotfest is where players are somewhat randomly assigned to their team, as opposed to playing on a team they have practiced with.
It'll be one of the last easily accessible matches of the season, so come watch. Social to follow at Titan.
If that isn't butch enough for you, don't miss The Great Big International Drag King Show 007 at the 9:30 Club on Saturday night, the featured entertainment event for the Gender Public Advocacy Coalition's 2007 GenderYOUTH Leadership Summit.
*Raoul Wallenberg Field (3 blocks West of Smithsonian Metro on the Blue/Orange Line; or 15th and C St. SW between Independence Ave and Maine Ave SW Washington, DC)
Posted by jimbo at 8:07 AM | Comments (2)
May 9, 2007
some résumé advice
I am no expert career counselor or business consultant, but I have just sorted through a pile of 60 résumés at work. It's the third interview committee I’ve served on since I started in my department, and I’ve been paying attention to the resumes and interviewees because I think it will come in handy some day. As a résumé reviewer I can share with you what bugs me about résumés, and some frequent mistakes:
- 8pt font is too small for old people like me. While I can see a hummingbird hump a beetle a mile away, close-up is tough and just getting tougher to read. Keep your font size to 10 or 12, Times New Roman in my opinion. After reading 60 résumés, 8pt gets really tough to read, and I’d just rather throw such a resume into the trash can. For that matter, font sizes above 14 are unnecessary as they look goofy and also take up space that could be filled with something more important;
- Keep it simple, concise and brief. Don't send your entire work history or curriculum vitae. We did not ask for that, we asked for a cover letter and résumé. More is not good in this case. You are impressing no one, long résumé are harder to sift through, and it takes a lot of time to read through it.
- I believe in the 1-page résumé. If you are concise and a good writer, you can do it. I really don’t need to know your work experience past 1997 if it isn’t relevant to the job. If you can write concisely, I’m impressed;
- I personally don’t mind unexplained gaps of time in your résumé, but I can’t say it won’t make other people worry. Either the job wasn’t relevant to position in question, or you were off “finding yourself”. Good for you, and next time bring back some Toblerone or Nutella while you’re at it;
- On the cover letter make sure your signature line does not spill onto a second page. Again, keep it one page, keep it simple, and don’t BS. Don’t be flowery or try to adore me with your writing, I just want the facts. Make sure your name and address is at the top as well, just like they told you to do when you learned about writing business letters. The reason for this is when I have a stack of resumes and I am looking for your name, I want to be able to thumb through one end or the other and still be able to find your name;
- Unless it’s in application for a design-related position, don’t get fancy-schmancy with your boxes, colors, lines or fonts. Keep it real;
- Interview committees are probably required to rate resumes according to itemized job requirements listed in the job announcement. Make sure you clearly and concisely address every requirement or duty if you can in the résumé. We are looking for key words here, so if you paraphrase what we wrote to say what you did, it helps us find this information quickly and easily, and you’ll end up getting ‘scored’ better;
- I’ll overlook a few spelling errors but not everyone is so merciful, especially if you spell your own name wrong. At least have a friend look it over before you send it;
- If you’re not done with your degree, don’t list all your coursework you’ve completed on the way to degree completion. All I want to know is if you are going for your degree or if you have completed it. I do not want to know if you quit grad school or tech school 6 years ago, and you shouldn’t say so either;
- The name of your company isn’t as important to me as your experience and accomplishments. Keep it all the same font size. Date and duration at any job is somewhat important, but not as important (to me) as what you did there;
I know some people will disagree with a few of these points, but like I said in the first paragraph, these these are my personal observations. But there is a lot of voodoo advice you hear about what to do or not to do with your resume. The easiest piece of advice is that you should put yourself in the shoes of the interviewing committee and think about what they want to see and how much time they have to go through your résumé.
Next week: how to impress me in an interview. For example, no gum-chewing (and snapping!) in the interviews.
Posted by jimbo at 1:38 PM | Comments (12)
May 3, 2007
Crocs Code
The Crocs Code is a modern form of signalling to others what your sexual preferences and interests are. Gay men used a similar code based on hankies and bandanas to communicate with each other in the noisy and distracting environment of gay bars. With the popularity of Crocs, today everyone can participate in this form of subcultural signaling. At the very least it is a great conversation starter. Crocs worn at work (K Street, for example) indicate you are a 'top'. Crocs worn in casual settings indicate you're a 'bottom':| CROCS COLOR | WORN AT WORK (TOP) | WORN AFTER HOURS (BOTTOM) |
| BLACK | heavy SM top | heavy SM bottom |
| GREY | bondage top | fit to be tied! |
| BLUE, Light | wants head | cocksucker |
| BLUE, Robin's Egg | 69er | anything but 69ing |
| BLUE, Medium | cop | copsucker |
| BLUE, Navy | fucker (top) | fuckee (bottom) |
| BLUE, Airforce | pilot/flight attendant | likes flyboys |
| BLUE, Teal | cock & ball torturer | cock & ball torturee |
| RED | fist fucker | fist fuckee |
| MAROON | cuts | bleeds |
| RED, Dark | 2-handed fister | 2-handed fistee |
| PINK, Light | dildo fucker | dildo fuckee |
| PINK, Dark | tit torturer | tit torturee |
| MAUVE | into navel worshippers | has a navel fetish |
| MAGENTA | suck my pits | armpit freak |
| PURPLE | piercer | piercee |
| LAVENDER | likes drag queens | drag queen |
| YELLOW | pisser/WS | piss freak |
| YELLOW, Pale | spits | drool crazy |
| MUSTARD | hung 8"+ | wants 8"+ |
| GOLD | two looking for one | one looking for two |
| ORANGE | anything anytime | nothing now (just cruising) |
| APRICOT | two tons o' fun | chubby chaser |
| CORAL | suck my toes | shrimper (sucks toes) |
| RUST | a cowboy | the horse |
| FUSCHIA | spanker | spankee |
| GREEN, Kelly | hustler (for rent) | john (looking to buy) |
| GREEN, Hunter | daddy | orphan boy looking for daddy |
| OLIVE DRAB | military top | military bottom |
| GREEN, Lime | dines off tricks (food) | dinner plate (will buy dinner) |
| BEIGE | rimmer | rim me |
| BROWN | scat top | scat bottom |
| CHARCOAL | latex fetish top | latex fetish bottom |
| WHITE | beat my meat (J/O) | I'll do us both (J/O) |
| CREAM | cums in condoms | sucks cum out of condoms |
| RED | furry bear | likes bears |
| TAN | smokes cigars | likes cigars |
| PUCE | outdoor sex top | outdoor sex bottom |
Posted by jimbo at 2:20 PM | Comments (23)
May 1, 2007
mean streak
So I was running on the National Mall yesterday with my masc/musc/mil running "bud" Skwurl and he like says I get gayface when I run up stairs during a run. Whatever.
Anyway, the hyper rodent's encouragement to run my ass up the stairs of the Lincoln Memorial was rewarding. I had never actually been up there near Abe's crotch. The view was indeed inspiring - of the Reflecting Pool that is. Too bad I was near death from the exertion.
Anyway, I halved my last batch of antidepressants in April to welcome the warm, sunny weather and have then been off them completely since they ran out a week or so ago. I can now boast that I can cum in less than 45 minutes, which is great. And no more all-body sweats that can sometimes be embarrassing. However there's this all-body numbness and unnerving tingling that you get which forces you to realize you're coming down from being on a pharmecutical, which is disturbing. I don't like to be enslaved to Tha Man (Pharmecutical Megacorporations). While the Cymbalta did shear off the lows over the winter, it really didn't make them go away. It was an experiment I'm not sure I'm going to repeat next winter. I think regular exercise and getting to bed at a decent hour every night is half the battle.
But I wonder if it's me or if somebody at work put a few ounces of crystal meth into a box of kittens and puppies just to see what happens, then left me to deal with it. Everyone is wired and running around at full tilt. Alas, the deadline for the mega-newsletter was not met, but I've decided to stop working until 8 to get it done every night of the week. It will get done, just please everybody, stop snorting Tina at work!
OMG Heroes was awesome tonight. 5 years into the future and Nathan Petrelli is proposing genocide for all the "special people." Not the first self-loathing person in a position of political power making detrimental decisions against a minority. Anyway, thank GWAR Peter got a new hairdo in the future, but we'll miss Jessica. I still think Niki/Jessica is simply a crazy person, not super-powered. Sylar is a wonderful villian - he never dies and he always has something up his sleeve for next time.
But I think I still might have to go back on antidepressants if I have to wait until 2008 to see a new Battlestar Galactica episode. Really, I'm fine:
Posted by jimbo at 8:38 AM | Comments (10)
April 29, 2007
weekend project
I have two horseshoes I'd like to preserve. The smaller one was found in northern Kyrgizstan 10 years ago when I was hiking from Almaty, the former capitol of Kazakstan, to Kyrgizstan. I found it when we ascended from the Tien Shan mountains into Kyrgizstan.
The larger one was found off of highway 80 in Virginia, while I was peeing on the roadside (too far from a rest stop). I did not pee on the horseshoe.
Through some contacts I learned from Gretchen Voeks, a conservator at the National Parks Service Western Archeological and Conservation Center in Tucson, AZ, who specializes in the preservation of metal and stone. Her recommendations for my horseshoe project are as follows:
- If the horseshoe has been exposed to salt water then electrolysis is the proper method;
Sorry, don't want to deal with electricity.
- If no salts are involved then a 10% solution of Coca Cola or Citric Acid should be used, then rinse thoroughly;
I'm currently doing this.
- Coat the horseshoe with tannic acid;
Umm...where the hell do I find tannic acid?
- Finish with “butchers wax” or “bowling alley wax”.
I'll improvise with Doc Martens shoe tenderizing oil.
I may later display them in a shadow box or some other intensely gay method of making rusty horseshoes look fabulous.
Posted by jimbo at 5:35 PM | Comments (7)
April 20, 2007
field report from Homer
Homer called me from the Minneapolis airport en route to his hometown and reported that he went to the MPLS airport A&W to sample some of the local cuisine, batterfried cheese curds:
Next time you go through there, it's the only A&W Root Beer store in the food court, and it looks like this:
Another interesting cultural trait of the Midwest is that anglo Caucasians perform manual labor in middle America. Looking back at those pictures I took a few years ago made me hungry for cheese curds and Caucasian manual laborers. I'm looking forward to going back home this summer.
Posted by jimbo at 8:30 AM | Comments (13)
April 18, 2007
"So...what do you do?"
Oh jeezus christ people. Calm down.
It's been most inconvenient," said Dacrie Brooks, a public relations professional attending the annual convention of the National Association of Broadcasters in Las Vegas. "I've been using (my BlackBerry) for all my communications because I don't have access to my laptop between meetings. It's been a challenging day because I'm missing things left and right. That's not fun."
God forbid you would be away from your e-mail for a few hours - but aren't you supposed to be communicating with live, real, organic-type people at the convention? I'm guessing she's the type who checks the 'berry obsessively in the middle of conversations. I'm so sorry you all had to suffer so much for an evening.
I keep forgetting to write about something that actually doesn't annoy me, I think since so many anoying things interrupt my thoughts all the time. The question that so many people find dreadful - "So...what do you do?" - really doesn't bother me that much. Yes, it is a question that is often overused in this region, but it is a question I had to seriously ask myself not so long ago.
In the midst of the dot-com era I worked as a website designer, and still do for limited amounts of time. But while I was doing it full-time and earning good money, I hated it most of the time. Then I bounced from one all-tech job to another, still hating what I was doing, but couldn't figure out why. Finally at the last job I hated so bad my boss even told me I hated it (which I denied at the time) I sought out the help of two fabulous and wise career counselors in exchange for launching their first business website.
While I had read through the infamous self-help book What Color is Your Parachute I knew I needed more personal advice from people who knew my situation and the town I was in. So after a few career counseling sessions I redirected my career path towards people and communicating, rather than web coding. It helped me better enjoy the 40+ hours that was part of my life.
While some do use the question as a method of appraisal in social settings, when asked what I do for a living I instead choose take it as a query into what I try to enjoy and excel at during a major portion of my life. I figure if you do something for that amount of time you might as well enjoy what you're doing and get paid for it too.
Of course my personal, home, social and recreational lives are just as important as my work life, and I try to balance them in equal portions. But I give people a break using that question in social situations since it's an easy avenue into a basic conversation. We all work, or most of us do, and answering it won't kill you. One only hopes that people asking it are actually interested in the other portions of my life too, since those aspects of a person's life are just as important as their work life. While my job doesn't identify me as a person, it does constitute a significant part of me, so I perceive the question as valid.
After the break is a simple exercise I did under career counseling that you can use to evaluate your gifts, passions, and values. Prioritize a short list of each, evaluate these items, and use your answers to direct your career search or development. I thought it was pretty useful and simple to conduct. As my career counselor said, "You're paid to use your gifts on things you're passionate about, in an environment that fits your values."
GIFTS
- connector ("Jimbo makes the people come together")
- graphics / desktop publishing / web work
- creativity / writing - I love (creative) writing and am told I write well
- information organization - I make great travel planning packages for work trips
- facilitation / planning - must...control...situation
- communication / speaking - no fear of public contact, but can be drained by it
- leader (president of college organizations, always organizing trips and similar events)
PASSIONS
- environment / natural world / wildlife
- making/creating things
- rugby
- outdoors / backpacking
- sci-fi / fantasy
- urban decay / rising crime rate / urban affordability
VALUES
- regular routine so I know whats coming
- variety / diversity of tasks
- no outrageous commute (downtown DC or Metrorail accessible)
- happy, educated, bright coworkers (I absorb the vibes around me too easily)
- mid- to small- sized company, nonprofit or association
- coworkers receptive to my skill advice and expertise
- equal pay for equal work - senority should not be the biggest determinant for salaries...production should
- my work can be accomplished in a 40-hour work week, within 8 hours each day
- when necessary (and only then) one must work late on occasion
- food and sleep should not be sacrificed for work
- my home/social/active life is just as important than my work life
- coworkers are just that...all should be equal in the workplace, and function as a unit or a team
- while professionalism is important, workplace stoicism is silly...your work persona should not deviate much from your normal persona...I want to work with people, not automatons
- flexible work schedules
- casual attire at work
- making good money
Posted by jimbo at 11:32 PM | Comments (8)
April 16, 2007
just some things from the Internets
Here are a few things I found on the Internets about Virginia's gun control laws, concealed versus open weapons, and having weapons on educational institutions:
In Virginia there is no state requirement that there be a waiting period for gun sales beyond the "instant check" in federal law. Police are not given any additional time to run a criminal background check to make sure the gun buyer is not prohibited from acquiring firearms. There is no "cooling off" period to help prevent crimes of passion.
Virginia allows unlicensed open carry of a handgun that has a capacity of twenty rounds or less, unthreaded barrel and no collapsible stock. (Most handguns fall under this category). Open carry is defined as the gun's true nature is not hidden from general view, or the act of publicly carrying a firearm in plain sight.
Virginia Concealed Handgun Permit (CHP) holders are exempt from: one gun a month rules; rules regarding open carry firearm restrictions; General College Carry Restrictions; Gun Free School Zone act, CHP holders are allowed to have guns on school grounds in their personal vehicles as long as they stay in the car.
"Accordingly, it is my opinion that the governing boards of Virginia’s public colleges and universities may not impose a general prohibition on the carrying of concealed weapons by permitted individuals. Pursuant to specific grants of statutory authority, however, it is my opinion that colleges and universities may regulate the conduct of students and employees to prohibit them from carrying concealed weapons on campus."The Honorable R. Creigh Deeds
Member, Senate of Virginia
January 4, 2006
As I watched the very sad 10-o'clock news this evening I thought about the recent Virginia concealed weapons law, whether there is any point in having a weapon on a campus, and the ease of purchase of handguns during times of passion. The story still is unfolding, the event is tragic, but for some reason people are thinking about gun control laws a lot more this time. Perhaps these tragedies are happening far too frequently?
But before I freak out and demand complete bans on all incendiaries, handguns and explosives, I think back on my time on a very gun-friendly campus in Wisconsin, where class attendance w