Jimbo.Info

The weather has been fantastic this weekend, dry and in the mid-80s - most unusual for DC in July. Lovely time to walk or bike around.

Posted by jimbo at 10:30 PM | Comments (23)

July 21, 2007

Once More, With Feeling

"The Buffy Musical Big Screen Interactive Extravaganza" at the Avalon Theatre tonight was a lot of fun. Buffy fans have needed an excuse to get together for a while since the show ended. The crowd consisted mainly of Rennaissance Faire chicks, lesbian couples, a sprinkling of gay men, and the requisite goth sci-fi guys in trenchcoats. (Listen to the NPR Talk of the Nation interview)

While musical episodes are usually the deathknell of any series, the 2001 episode entitled "Once More, With Feeling," was truly inspired. While it's clear only a few of the main characters had much vocal experience, they were trying hard, which is also why I liked Xanadu so much. It's not about the quality, it's about the delivery. The song lyrics were integrated well into that season's plot.

The screening was an audience-participatory experience a lot like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, with helpful subtitle lyrics and a program for suggested behavior during certain scenes. I could have done without that part, and it would have been cool to view the episode with higher definition rather than served from a laptop. These days we have the technology - howabout wide-screen or an Imax version with surround sound?

Anyway, next time remind me to avoid having the franks 'n beans plate with sauerkraut washed down with a vanilla shake beforehand at the diner. It's a bad combination for the lactose-intolerant, but perhaps it helped add some special effects for the show when the demon was banished in a puff of brimstone.

According to the show's promoter, they will return to the Avalon on November 15 & 16, if I heard correctly. Despite it being the eve of the new Harry Potter release, the show was sold out faster than any city's screening.

Posted by jimbo at 1:35 AM | Comments (5)

July 13, 2007

Good day to you:


"Mustache Man" holographic Decepticon pilot, driver in 'Transformers' movie a real Air Force pilot

In accordance with protocol layed out by the original Star Trek evil parallel universe episode, most evil entities have mustaches or goatees.

Flash Gordon series coming in August on SciFi. It looks fun, and will tide me over until the return of Battlestar Galactica. Will Ming the Merciless have a fu manchu 'stache? Will Flash be as hot as the one from the 80's movie?

"Flash - aaa-aah - he'll save everyone of us!

He's for everyone of us
Stand for everyone of us
He'll save with a mighty hand
Every man every woman
Every child - with a mighty flash."

Posted by jimbo at 11:02 AM | Comments (14)

July 9, 2007

Transformers

Find out which Transformer you are at LiquidGeneration!
Great...I'm a frikkin' hippie geologist dune buggy transformer.

I saw Transformers tonight with Gurl, and the film was so awesome I was crying by the end of the film. The Optimus/Megatron dynamic was dead-on. Sure, some of the characters were merged or changed (and of course the black Autobot dies first) but overall I was very impressed. Even the human acting was entertaining, and the action was off the hook. Considering how it could have been messed up I thought it was very well done.

Considering all the excitement this summer between the Spice Girls reuniting, Kylie on Dr. Who, seeing Xanadu on Broadway and the Transformers live-action film, I might just become a being of energy and transcend to another plane of existence:

Posted by jimbo at 10:17 PM | Comments (12)

June 24, 2007

Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy

Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy, 1968.
Thursday, June 28, 8 pm: Ring Auditorium of the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden, Washington, DC.
The year is AD 40,000. Floating buff and blissful in zero gravity, Barbarella (Jane Fonda) is suddenly interrupted by a call from the president of Earth (Claude Dauphin). Duran Duran (Milo O’Shea) is threatening the ancient universal peace, and Barbarella must find him and save the world. The Great Tyrant (Anita Pallenberg), Dildano (David Hemmings), and Professor Ping (Marcel Marceau) also figure in Roger Vadim’s racy space period piece shot by Claude Renoir.

Summer began last week and the weather has been glorious. Unusually dry for this area, my sweat is actually able to do what it was meant to do. This weekend I unpacked a lot more boxes at home and the place is more livable. TechSkwurl replaced my motherboard and all is fast and good on the PC. And I now enjoy the freedom of my bike now that it's back from the bike shop that runs out of wheels.

Posted by jimbo at 9:33 PM | Comments (7)

June 21, 2007

the cost of good souls

Charlene can't do this:

I am so going as Metroplex next Halloween.

Whoa...Dell sent me a new motherboard - the next day. I guess if your motherboard capacitors look like fresh muffins it must be dire.

To date I've really enjoyed my graduate school courses - one class taken each semester. Until now most of them have been theory or concept classes, but one requirement before graduation is to take Financial Decision Making for Managers, and it's kicking my ass. I never took accounting in high school, and my background is in life sciences. This shit is totally new territory for me. Sure, I do need to learn it and it will become useful one day, but it's all brand new to me.

To illustrate my ignorance in the subject, the other day my professor was talking about something called the cost of good souls. When he first introduced the term I rolled my eyes at the thought of conservative Christianist concepts infiltrating even the most mundane classes with their terms. What the hell do spiritual matters have to do with accounting anyway? But after class I went through the chapter and realized he was just saying "the cost of goods sold" in a thick Maryland accent.

Posted by jimbo at 11:27 AM | Comments (7)

June 1, 2007

pre-packing fall geek show update

The Sci-Fi Channel has announced upcoming season 4 of Battlestar Galactica will be its last:

"Galactica" will kick off in November with "Razor," an extended two-hour episode, with the rest of the season slated to run beginning in early 2008.

This is good and bad news for me. I'm glad they won't be stringing along storylines and leaving questions unanswered episode after episode like in Lost. They're trying to get somewhere and it makes sense that they'll hopefully achieve their goal in reaching Earth. But it's sad such a good show has to end.

Geek tip from Chris at BoysBriefs: A limited run six-episode Heroes spinoff, Heroes: Origins, will introduce a new character each week. At the end of the run you vote for your favorite Hero, a la American Idol.

The democratically elected character will then be added to the sci-fi drama as a regular the following year. In other words, think of this as a paranormal version of American Idol.

More proof Kylie likes Dr. Who and is a wannabe Cybergirl:

Geekery research by Kutari Prime who notes that Kylie is dressed like a Movellan Princess circa Tom baker era in the clip. Listen closely for Cybermen creator quotes.

More woofy baseball players, because it's almost summer. Geoff Jenkins of the Milwaukee Brewers:


It's amazing how inspired I am to blog when I have a whole house to pack today. I'll be away from the Internets for a while until Verizon comes to my rescue, which could be weeks, even months. Have a good summer!

Posted by jimbo at 11:40 AM | Comments (8)

May 14, 2007

starting rumours

This week's redesign is in honor of Syttende Mai, the Norwegian version of Cinco de Mayo, but not as much fun, and on the 17th of May. Eat pickled herring (or lutefisk if you're hardcore), practice your rosemaling and be generally stoic and unemotional. I'm trying to tap into my Nordic half but the Irish keeps seeping through.

Isn't Crown Prince Haakon a høttie? He has a bit of an adorkable element to him, and oddly hazel eyes for a Norwegian.

Thanks to all you killjoys who crushed my hopes of a Kylie Minogue appearance on Dr. Who. Can't a gay geek have a little hope? I've decided I'm going to start similar rumours:

- Olivia Newton-John joins the cast of Battlestar Galactica in Season 4 as Lucy Lawless' skinjob replacement, the most evil Cylon yet: Kira. Not even Six can contend with her fierceness;

- Stevie Nicks guest stars as a long-lost great aunt in a two-hour Charmed reunion to engage in a massive spellbattle against an evil reincarnation of Shannen Doherty;

- Whitney Houston stars in a revisit of the Touched by an Angel series as Della Reese's illegitimate crack baby, all grown up and saving souls;

- Cyndi Lauper reprises her role from Vibes as Sylvia Pickel, mentor to Patricia Arquette's character in Medium. Jeff Goldlbum makes a guest appearance.

Did anyone catch the cast of Heroes on the Today show this morning? Adrain Pasdar had a big black woofy goatee. Grrrr.

So like Hiro showed us all how easy it is to become a Kensai sword master tonight, as long as Mr. Sulu is your sensei. It's that easy. George Takei has experience you know.

Posted by jimbo at 8:55 PM | Comments (10)

starting rumours

This week's redesign is in honor of Syttende Mai, the Norwegian version of Cinco de Mayo, but not as much fun, and on the 17th of May. Eat pickled herring (or lutefisk if you're hardcore), practice your rosemaling and be generally stoic and unemotional. I'm trying to tap into my Nordic half but the Irish keeps seeping through.

Isn't Crown Prince Haakon a høttie? He has a bit of an adorkable element to him, and oddly hazel eyes for a Norwegian.

Thanks to all you killjoys who crushed my hopes of a Kylie Minogue appearance on Dr. Who. Can't a gay geek have a little hope? I've decided I'm going to start similar rumours:

- Olivia Newton-John joins the cast of Battlestar Galactica in Season 4 as Lucy Lawless' skinjob replacement, the most evil Cylon yet: Kira. Not even Six can contend with her fierceness;

- Stevie Nicks guest stars as a long-lost great aunt in a two-hour Charmed reunion to engage in a massive spellbattle against an evil reincarnation of Shannen Doherty;

- Whitney Houston stars in a revisit of the Touched by an Angel series as Della Reese's illegitimate crack baby, all grown up and saving souls;

- Cyndi Lauper reprises her role from Vibes as Sylvia Pickel, mentor to Patricia Arquette's character in Medium. Jeff Goldlbum makes a guest appearance.

Did anyone catch the cast of Heroes on the Today show this morning? Adrain Pasdar had a big black woofy goatee. Grrrr.

So like Hiro showed us all how easy it is to become a Kensai sword master tonight, as long as Mr. Sulu is your sensei. It's that easy. George Takei has experience you know.

Posted by jimbo at 8:55 PM | Comments (10)

May 12, 2007

Kylie + Dr. Who = massive gay/geek-out explosion

This is what happens when somebody puts the words "Olivia Newton-John" and "Battlestar Galactica" in the same sentence within earshot - I explode in a massive conflagration of gayness and geekiness.

The same catastrophe could happen in DC when I see the new Dr. Who episode featuring Kylie Minogue:

"In a Can't Get You Out Of My Tardis-tastic development, Kylie Minogue was very recently overheard by a mole at a party confirming that she is definitely going to be appearing in a future episode of 'Doctor Who'.

Now, it's hardly a secret that 'Doctor Who' has a large gay following (and no, we don't mean a flamboyant equivalent of the Comic Book Guy), or that the papers have been speculating that the teeny-tiny, cancer-surviving, boyfriend-shedding popstrel will be appearing on the show, but this is the first time there's been definite proof, and all from the brave singing budgie's own Botoxed mouth.

And what forced her to make her appearance on the show? A personal visit from Davros? A chilly encounter with the Ice Warriors? An unfortunate incident with a Dalek and its plunger? No, it's all to please her hotpant-wielding stylist, William Baker."

Original artwork from the NBC show Heroes, by comic book artist Tim Sale, who is interestingly color blind.

This is what happens when you download too much porn from the Internets:

It is possible that this PC may have held the DNA sequnce of the infamous Goatman of Maryland.

Today I got up at an ungodly hour to participate in the International Migratory Bird Day Bird Count (Census) at The Henry A. Wallace Beltsville Agricultural Research Center in Beltsville, Maryland. I took many pictures.

Here is the horrid architecture of The National Agricultural Library (NAL) nearby.

The 'green' tree swallow, which nests in tree cavities or even bluebird next boxes. Its iridescent green color shifts from blue to green depending on the light situations. In utter darkness, were you able to see this bird, its colored portions would appear black. The color is from refraction, not pigment, sorta like how glacial ice appears blue.

A scarlet tananger, differentiated from the summer tananger by its black wings and tail:

A wasp or a hornet, I'm not sure, but it was very big:

Honeybee populations are falling at an alarming rate. It’s very Children of Men (to quote Eric), but with bees. Bees perform an important service in pollinating agricultural crops. It is possible that every time you text "OMG" on your cell phone, a honeybee dies.

At the very least, I die a little each time, especially if you text message on the dance floor.

Most of the hives were vacant.

Posted by jimbo at 7:46 PM | Comments (7)

May 7, 2007

Gamer Insurgency Threatens Hasbro Stock

Sorry about the schitzo wallpaper changes. I guess I've been in the mood for some color lately. Spice Up Your Life! The Queen is in town.

Earlier this month Paizo Publishing and Wizards of the Coast announced the conclusion of Paizo’s license to produce DRAGON and DUNGEON magazines effective September 2007. All the geeks are upset that the popular gaming supplement magazines will be discontinued, but I'm guessing some other publishing house will take up the slack. There's nothing like having mouldering hard copies of old tomes to look back into for ideas. PDFs are great, but I know I enjoy receiving my monthly geek magazine in the mailbox, and others do too.

In case you ever wondered if Duran Duran could save us from yakuza crime lords and kaiju attacks, here's proof:

I knew all it took was a flick of the wrist, and you can stop ninjas with a hi-hat. Here's the live version.

Has anyone located a clean copy of the Battlestar Galactica season finale version of Bob Dylan's "All Along the Watchtower"? I want to put it on my iPod and pretend I can hear music in the walls and have eerie suspicions that I'm a toaster. UPDATE: there will be a relsease of a Galactica soundtrack album in August to coincide with the Direct-to-DVD movie. That soundtrack will feature the BT4 version of the Bob Dylan song ‘All Along The Watchtower’.

But I want it NOW!

Ice Spiders on SciFi Channel June 9: "They throught Melrose Place had vicious backbiting. They haven't seen anything yet." It stars Patrick Muldoon and VANESSA WILLIAMS OMG OMG OMG!

One Michigan law student's offer and acceptance letter to Sauron: "It seems to me that's really two, maybe three separate offers. The first seems to be unambiguously an offer for a unilateral contract (to find the supposedly piddling ring for three of the Dwarf rings of power plus the estate of Moria), to be completed by performance. Dáin wouldn't want to bind himself to produce a ring; it's too risky. This seems like the straight-forward reward scenario envisioned as a prototypical offer for a unilateral contract."

Overheard at a gay Dungeons and Dragons gaming session, Lily the Druid (played by a gay man, of course) speaks up: "I'm gonna fuck that bitch up with my spectral Dinosaur Stampede* spell."

* Dinosaur Stampede: Lvl. 6 Druid spell, Evocation [force]; Range: medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level).

Posted by jimbo at 9:14 PM | Comments (2)

May 1, 2007

mean streak

So I was running on the National Mall yesterday with my masc/musc/mil running "bud" Skwurl and he like says I get gayface when I run up stairs during a run. Whatever.

Anyway, the hyper rodent's encouragement to run my ass up the stairs of the Lincoln Memorial was rewarding. I had never actually been up there near Abe's crotch. The view was indeed inspiring - of the Reflecting Pool that is. Too bad I was near death from the exertion.

Anyway, I halved my last batch of antidepressants in April to welcome the warm, sunny weather and have then been off them completely since they ran out a week or so ago. I can now boast that I can cum in less than 45 minutes, which is great. And no more all-body sweats that can sometimes be embarrassing. However there's this all-body numbness and unnerving tingling that you get which forces you to realize you're coming down from being on a pharmecutical, which is disturbing. I don't like to be enslaved to Tha Man (Pharmecutical Megacorporations). While the Cymbalta did shear off the lows over the winter, it really didn't make them go away. It was an experiment I'm not sure I'm going to repeat next winter. I think regular exercise and getting to bed at a decent hour every night is half the battle.

But I wonder if it's me or if somebody at work put a few ounces of crystal meth into a box of kittens and puppies just to see what happens, then left me to deal with it. Everyone is wired and running around at full tilt. Alas, the deadline for the mega-newsletter was not met, but I've decided to stop working until 8 to get it done every night of the week. It will get done, just please everybody, stop snorting Tina at work!

OMG Heroes was awesome tonight. 5 years into the future and Nathan Petrelli is proposing genocide for all the "special people." Not the first self-loathing person in a position of political power making detrimental decisions against a minority. Anyway, thank GWAR Peter got a new hairdo in the future, but we'll miss Jessica. I still think Niki/Jessica is simply a crazy person, not super-powered. Sylar is a wonderful villian - he never dies and he always has something up his sleeve for next time.

But I think I still might have to go back on antidepressants if I have to wait until 2008 to see a new Battlestar Galactica episode. Really, I'm fine:

Posted by jimbo at 8:38 AM | Comments (10)

April 8, 2007

death, resurrection, rebirth, or maybe just oblivion

"All the world will be your enemy, Prince of a Thousand enemies. And when they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you; digger, listener, runner, Prince with the swift warning. Be cunning, and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed."

- the Black Rabbit, from the book and animated film Watership Down.

Rabbits can sometimes be sad or frightening. I've created a set on my Flickr account with more than a few examples. I was surprised at how many scary bunny images are out there.

Happy Easter.

Posted by jimbo at 1:46 PM | Comments (6)

April 5, 2007

Oreo. Cookie Dough. Amaretto.

Listen, bitchaaz: none 'o you bitchazz could possibly understand my joy when I heard not just the edit, but the remix of the song that opens the classic 80's film Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - Breakaway by Big Pig...OMG the REMIX of it!!! It sounds kinda like Siouxie but more diva house but most a youse young bitchazz wouldn't understand. Anyway, I have been searching the world, from Alaska to the bitter cold steppes of Central Asia for this track, this soundtrack, and I hear it at the frikkin' Green Lantern!?! So I summoned all my Charisma power and 10 years of workin' it in DC and approached the DJ to ask - no, beg - him for a copy of that track. I'd do anything for it. Anything!

And I don't know what they're saying in the chorus of the song, but it sounds like they're saying: Oreo. Cookie Dough. Amaretto.

Does anyone understand me on this topic?

Apparently the chorus goes like this:
"AH-MIN-AH, DO-KI-DO, AH-MAH-NEH-LA"

No wonder I like the lyrics.

If you need anything from me today, you're going to have to speak to my administrative assistants Mr. Bunny & Mrs. Peep:


That is all. Have a nice Easter.

Posted by jimbo at 11:51 PM | Comments (19)

April 4, 2007

The 300 Hottie Factory

The 300 was bloody good fun, with cheesy lines delivered with full-testosterone action by Gerard Butler as King Lionidas. My favorite Spartan was Leonidas' short, scruffy, blond sidekick and narrator Dilios, played by David Wenham who sadly lost one of his baby blues in the battle, but kind of talks too much. But he's like a bard and narrator, so I guess I'll have to put up with his monologues in bed. TJ liked one of the cowardly Arcadians who looked like Jake Dakota's dad, apparently. While all of The 300 had nice scruff, their buff humps were not covered by fur, but still fun to look at.

So apparently Xerxes was a giant drag queen, with an army of Africans, Mongol-looking people, and lots of mean deformed people too. And he was probably the reason the Dire Rhinoceros' went exctinct since he used them in battle but the Spartans killed them all. Oh, and he had wizards with grenades, and the Spice Girls were in his orgy entourage too.

Everyone in Leonidas' army was cut, buff, bearded but with no body hair to speak of. They also had incredibly big mouths, and roared a lot too. Not that's a bad thing. And that's how The 300 went.

I was taking pictures the other day and here's one of my favorite rushes - biking through the tunnel on the Rock Creek Parkway near the National Zoo. You're supposed to walk your bike through it but that's no fun.

Posted by jimbo at 10:45 PM | Comments (6)

April 2, 2007

hauck a loogie

Badger and Skwurl* finally went running today amidst the clouds of cherry pollen filling the skies of Washington, DC. On his bike ride to meet Skwurl on the National Mall, grumpy Badger saw at least four tourists hauking up thick yellow loogies. Cherry pollen is devastating to some people, but Badger only has issues with mold. Nevertheless, both Skwurl and Badger's teeth were sticky with cherry pollen from the air. Ewww.

Today with the help of some Flickr addicts, I learned how to use the self-timer on my camera:

Early tomorrow morning I'm going on a bike ride adventure with OMG DJ TM™ to see if we can photograph migrating alewives and blueback herring in Rock Creek. We'll bike as far upstream as Pierce Mill to check out the new fish ladder that's been installed to allow the fish to go further upstream. I think anything that swarms or migrates en masse is cool - I think OMG DJ TM™ is just in it for the exercise.

Geek Alert from Chris: Tolkien Jr. completes the Lord of Rings book series with The Children of Húrin. Having read The Silmarillion, the new book should be a great read for you Tolkien geeks out there.

*In the tradition of Ernie & Bert, Frog & Toad, and Fred & Barney, Badger & Skwurl will be my first children's book, featuring the adventures of a hyper squirrel named Skwurl and his reluctant and surly companion Badger.

Posted by jimbo at 9:30 PM | Comments (1)

March 31, 2007

voodoo works!

Friday evening I was messing around with my camera, Flickr and booty brought from Arizona to create a small Mayan-Santería-Voodoo shrine to ensure the spirits were on our side for a win in today's rugby match:

The sun and moon loteria candles bring me power from the heavens, the clay ruggers bring camraderie to the team, while the rugby ball sees me as I see it - illuminated and as one.

And it worked! We won against our competitive rivals from Aberdeen, Maryland - Renegades 13, North Bay 7. And such a win is especially delicious when someone on the opposing team calls my teammate a 'faggot' during said game, making the victory that much sweeter.

Geek Alert: there's a new comic book store on 14th Street just next to Sparky's cafe. It's called Big Monkey Comics at 1722-B (2nd floor) 14th St., NW.

Here is an interesting crosswalk design nearby Big Monkey Comics intended to designate a clear pedestrian area to enhance the customer flow to businesses around the 14th and S Street areas, NW DC. 14th St. is otherwise a wide impassable street that isn't conducive to a walkable neighborhood area.

Posted by jimbo at 5:43 PM | Comments (4)

March 29, 2007

there must be some way out of here...

In my exciting tour of Arizona I completely forgot that the Battlestar Galactica finale happened on Sunday, even though I was in the home of two Big Geeks that weekend. However, they haven't seen the remainder of season 3 and were waiting to see the last episodes of the season.

Spoilers after the break for those of you who haven't seen it yet, but I must say it was the most bizarre yet suspenseful finale EVER! You. Will. Die. And you will die knowing you'll have to wait until 20-frikkin'-08 for the answers to whatever the hell is going on with the fleet.

I am sad to report that Lee Adama has lost his status as Imminently Stalkable to Sam Anders, played by the hunky Michael Trucco. His hair, that cute broken nose, and those guns had me at his first Pyramid match.

So Baltar was hilarious in his sarcasm the whole episode - he had me in stiches. Lee Adama's monologue during Baltaar's trial was brilliant. The whole music haunting the four was creepy and their realization/denial was interesting. Clearly Anders is in total denial, Tyrol is still thinking about the situation, Tory Foster is being a bit too quiet, and I admire Tigh's reaction to the situation that they might be Cylons. "Whatever else I am, I'm an officer in the Colonial Fleet and if I die today, that's the man I'll be." Translation: STFU and get back to work! Maybe this will actually get him off the wagon for once.

And I KNEW they wouldn't kill off Starbuck. But is she one of the Five Cylons? I'm guessing she is, since she did so well at handling the captured Cylon cruiser.

So like the dreams Roslyn was sharing with Six and Athena - there were six glowy banners, five figures on the opera house balcony, and only four supposed Cylons on Battlestar Galactica. Who is the fifth or sixth Cylon? I only hope they bring back Xena. Love her.

Posted by jimbo at 8:59 AM | Comments (6)

March 19, 2007

human cognition probably takes place at an automatic level

Photo by OMG DJ TM™ of me and my dearest friend Jon being freaks together, as we do so well:


So like TJ finally calls me back, albeit on the busiest work day of the year, miraculously catching me in the office in a brief moment of lucidity from the day's madness...

Phone: ring, ring...
Jimbo: (hysterical work phone voice) "Hello! This is Jim!!!"
TJ: "OMG so like what happened at Blowoff?!?!"
Jimbo: "Umm...wouldn't you like to know, betch..."
TJ: "Oh yeah, I was in hibernation after eating some blueberries and didn't make it out of bed that day..."
Jimbo: "Yeah well nothin' really happened...I was really drunk and was hitting on this hot friend of Tos' named Jed but I think he was scared of me..."
TJ: "Well, you sounded drunk on the phone..."
Jimbo: "I was a little loud I think...the Spring Aura of Desperation is in full effect."
TJ: "So, like did anyone ask about me?"
Jimbo: "Yeah, and I told them you were dead to me."
TJ: "Well yeah but like I mean did anyone ask about me?"
Jimbo: "In passing, but Carl had Ruphus cornered the whole time at my house so I didn't really talk to either of them much, Clickboo was drunk...and Skwurl had some kind of Brazillian sugar cane Aztec buttcrack juice he made us all drink. Chrisafer and Bubbles and Aaron and Josh were there but I don't think they made it to Blowoff after my house...and a bunch of drunk rugger queens showed up too."
TJ: "But like did anyone ask about me?"
Jimbo: "Anyway, someone just burst into flames here at work so I gotta go."
TJ: "Well yeah but like I mean did anyone ask about me?"
Phone: "Bzzzz...."

This is Ruphus and Clickboo being leprechauns in my house:

Blowoff was a hoot from what I remember of it due to Skwurl's Brazillian sugar cane Aztec buttjuice drink. Spring was definitely in the air with me and other primates vying for supremacy, staging and posturing like the avian arrivals of spring. A mere hello to someone who is normally friendly while partnered becomes gruff and unresponsive while single and cruising.

So I go home for more of the same on Manhunt, noting the inordinate amount of unnatural smoothness online, a dozen or so screen names with 'masc' in the title, and wondering why guys on there are looking for dates when Match.com gets you more of that. My 90 days on there will not lead to much, I'm afraid.

Soon my tastes swing from strawberry to adorkable, especially when he tells me his thesis in 12 words or less, the unassuming lithe Jewishy entomologist and his study of mayfly nymphs and the fluid dynamics of their gill slits depending on the viscosity of seasonal water changes just gives me a boner these days...

Buncha drunk ruggers in my house too:

Posted by jimbo at 9:32 PM | Comments (4)

March 18, 2007

Buffy Sing-A-Long tour hits DC

From the Buffy Sing-A-Long Myspace page, summer tour dates announced a show in DC!

July 20 & 21 (Fri. & Sat.) - Washington DC
at the Avalon Theatre.
10pm shows. Tickets on sale soon.

It was a good weekend. Today is a very busy day at work, if I survive, I'll tell more.

Tuesday, I'm off to Tucson to visit Homer, then to the Grand Canyon for the first time, then Phoenix!

A parting shot of some post-Patty's Day paddies:

Posted by jimbo at 6:01 AM | Comments (4)

March 9, 2007

Shockka-Kahn. Shockka-Kahn. Shockka-Kahn everybody...

The newest dynamic duo on City of Heroes MMORPG: Shockka-Kahn and DreamGurl! Shockka is a magic-origin electricity blaster, and DreamGurl is a sonic-defender.

They protect all innocents in Paragon City on the Protector Server. DreamGurl is the creation of OMG DJ TM™ and Shockka is mine.

BTW OMG DJ TM™ is spinning tonight at Cobalt. I'll be there, will you? It's the ONLY thing going on tonight.

Well, aside from Woof, which I will attempt to attend beforehand if I can get a disco nap in after work. Fridays are usually not good for Webmasters, as people usually put off submitting things to the Webmaster until they reach a panic state on Friday, thus making Webmasters cranky.

So cranky, in fact, that if someone I don't know (friends are allowed) tries to finger my sphincter at Woof again, I'm going to break that finger. Say hello before fingering - or else.

But there are those who I wish would finger me and more, especially while sporting a porntastic 'stache. Chris over at Boy's Briefs was porntastic for a few precious moments. I love the handlebar, it works for him, but not the used car salesman 'stache.

Posted by jimbo at 1:07 AM | Comments (13)

February 22, 2007

Ghost Rider sucked _this_ bad

Aww jeez, Ghost Rider is #1 at the box office this week. I can't believe it, but then again, if Americans can vote for Bush twice, they'll go see Ghost Rider I guess.

While I like my geek comic book movies, Ghost Rider sucked supreme donkey dick from start to finish, from script to CGI. It's up there as one of the shittiest comic book turned motion picture ever, right up there with Swamp Thing (starring Adrienne Barbeau, the only star of the film I must add).

Anyway, the plot of the film goes like this: Nicholas Cage's character used to be hot in the first part of the film, but then they ruin everything and fast forward to present and suddenly he has a bad wig because he sells his soul to the Devil. Not even the Devil's Contract can burn off his bad wig, not even when his skull bursts into flame. It's like an asbestos wig from hell on his head, and it possesses his mind and makes him say bad, poorly written lines in the film. I just couldn't get past that wig, I'm sorry.

Then four evil gay elemental DC Cowboy demons start chasing him. Then Eva Mendez tries to act. Then there's all this pointless CGI of swirling black shit flying through the air and then the bad guy dies because he's saw the sins of some village or something.

I'm just trying to help you people here. Don't see this film. I disliked it more than I disliked Brokeback Mountain. But at least there wasn't as many bad wigs in Brokeback, as far as I could tell. Maybe a pubic wig, maybe.

And in her time, Adrienne Barbeau could kick your pansy ass across the street - twice. I just have to make sure that fact is known. In Swamp Thing, she fucking took this heavy-ass scuba tank and fucking clocked this guy across the head, and it was the first time in cinematic history where a Latina with a French last name fought back after being chased by bad guys.

Posted by jimbo at 10:44 PM | Comments (14)

February 10, 2007

the evolution of style

Here's one of my City of Heroes characters, La Femina Rojo (The Red Lady), currently a 20th level scrapper (natural) with super-speed and kung-fu kicks. She resides on the Protector server. I'll have to say, matching a superhero costume with red hair is a pain in the ass, lemme tell ya, as seen in her first two costume designs. But last night she got a new costume slot with a cape, and I think I spent a hour working on it. The costume options in the game are a wet dream for anyone who likes any of the fashionista reality shows on TV. Her makeover consisted of a smart mod bob, peach highlights to the hair, and a sort of future femme-Flash look to match her powers. Behold, and despair in the glow of her couture!

La Femina is based on a real-life super-speedy girl named Salsa Juarez, pictured at right. Both can run fast! Perhaps Salsa is the out-of-costume guise of the superhero.

A few of my male characters are pictured below, from various servers::

- Alpha Ant: tech blaster, fire/energy
- Big Bad Woof: magic defender, weather/sonic
- Captain Crunk: mutation controller, mental/healing
- Geardagh: magic tanker, earth/earth
- The Green Bay Packer: natural tanker, ice/invulnerability
- Tiny Troll: mutation corruptor, vines 'n spines (City of Villains)

Posted by jimbo at 7:20 PM | Comments (13)

January 22, 2007

The Little Bird Song, by Jimbo

This is a song that I learned as a camp counselor (and camper!) at bible camp in Wisconsin. It is useful in getting kids aged K-6 ethusiastic and charged up for the day! For children beyond those grade levels it is irritating, and for non-morning adults it is the ULTIMATE REVENGE FOR ANYTHING! Learn it, and learn it well:

Waaay up in the sky, (arms straight up, hands open!)
the little birds fly. (arms akimbo, hands like wings!)
While down in the nest (arms down, make hands into cup)
the little birds rest. (palms together to one side of face, sleepy-style, close your eyes.)

With a wing on the left (left arm chicken wing, flap flap!)
and a wing on the right, (right arm chicken wing, flap flap!)
the little birds sleep (palms together to one side of face, sleepy-style, close your eyes.)
all through the night. (still sleeping! decrescendo this line to silence...)

(several beats of silence, make them think they can go back to sleep, then...)

THE BRIGHT SUN COMES UP! (arms straight up, hands open, say it loud!)
THE DEW GOES AWAY! (palms down, down goes the rain!)
"GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING!" (arms straight up, hands open, up and down!)
THE LITTLE BIRDS SAY! (hands making bird mouths saying the words!)

Love,
Jimbo

Posted by jimbo at 8:08 AM | Comments (13)

January 21, 2007

a view from my barred bathroom window

While not a lot of this light snow is accumulating in DC, I hope it is building up outside The District so we have a snow day tomorrow! The green stuff is my iris plants growing out of my 'pond', the Cat Factory is in the background, and can you spot the horseshoe in the photo?

I ventured out to Remington's for my first post-smoking ban trip to a bar, and it was wonderful. Some of my rugger friends met some of my bloggeratti friends and I am struck yet again at how my circles rarely meet. Matt from rugby was like, "Who's Skwurl?" and Skwurl was like "OMG like who's Matt?" Anyhow, I didn't have to take a shower when I got home, and my eyes weren't burning from smoke. It was lovely. And despite the very cold temperatures outside, The Others still huddled outside to smoke! I just don't get it.

Breeders gone wild: parents reject escalation, form organization, over birthday party extravagances. WTF? I was happy go have a roller skating party at the local roller rink with popcorn. But limos for 6 year-olds? If you think homosexuality is ruining your children, go check yourself and get back to me when your kids are 16 year-old and spoiled rotten to the core. It's bad enough that you're going crazy over high-class birthday parties for your preemie, but you have time to form a club about it? Priorities, people. I can't wait until that generation meets the Gen-X managers in the workplace. I predict a lot of entitlement issues with employees and their managers in 20 years. The self-sufficiency of the latch-key generation versus kids who have been showered with everything they want since childbirty.

I wish Old Spice really did this.

The film, Black Sheep, looks like it might be even better than Snakes on a Plane:

I am giddy with excitement about this film. I'll fly across the pond to see it if it doesn't make it to the U.S.

Posted by jimbo at 4:03 PM | Comments (6)

January 9, 2007

The Legion of Doom

This is a priceless image for your desktop:

I made a little flyer at work of this image, with my 'frequently dialed' phone numbers affixed to each villian's profile as per each coworker's persona. Clockwise from upper left: Lex Luthor, Sinestro, Giganta, Cheetah, Solomon Grundy, Grod, The Toyman, Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow, The Riddler, Black Manta, Brainiac, Bizarro.

Posted by jimbo at 2:32 PM | Comments (7)

January 7, 2007

Attention-Deficit Disorder Dungeons and Dragons (A.D.D. D&D)

I think I've just found my latest hobby: join to join a local chapter of a complaints choir! It's just the thing for those with a skill for melody and lots of complaining to do, with others of the same.

Thanks to the suggestions of some readers' comments, I ordered a new alarm clock that plays music or stored sound bits from my iPod mini. My first experiment is to wake up to the sound of spring peeper frogs, then switch over to some hardcore metal/electroncia mashups. That'll do the trick. But if someone's found some really annoying Jennifer sound clips that would work too.

So much coming up next weekend, I'd better preserve my strength by the time the weekend comes. First, OMG DJ TM™ will be spinning at Cobalt on Friday night. Then Saturday night is the leather edition of Blowoff from 9:30pm - 3:00am. Due to the MAL weekend confluence with Blowoff, it'll be a big crowd, so pick your $20 tickets up at the 9:30 Club right quick. I suspect the crowd will be something like this (NOT work safe). Then in the same place at 815 V ST. N.W. DC from 10:00pm - 6:00am on Sunday night is the MAL Reaction Dance which I may skip as it's a school night as far as I know. We'll see how burnt out I am by then and give it some consideration, being that it's $30 a ticket.

I didn't do much over the weekend, choosing to relax after the holiday madness and in preparation for the coming weekend. The gang gathered for an A.D.D. D&D (Attention-Deficit Disorder Dungeons and Dragons) session and we started off trying to catch up on almost a month's worth of bar, gay, dating, holiday and neighborhood drama. In the remaining hour of time left we actually rolled a few dice. Here's what happened:

The party is going through The Mud Sorcerer's Tomb From Dragon Magazine issue #138, going after ancient treasure. But traps and great magics of antiquity are in abundance, as the Sorcerers preferred to keep their ancient secrets and goods intact. Nevertheless, here's Nodjmet of Mulhorand, a psychic warrior/sorceror attempting to use her scimitar to cut the head off a helpess cleric held in stasis, while the air genasai monk gets ready on following up with whack to her head with a crowbar. The 12-sided die represents a flaming sphere readied in case the "sleeping beauty" turns out to be undead, and the other dice are just kinda there and don't represent anything. The party prevailed at mauling the poor priest (without knowing who she was or checking alignment) just for her fine robes.

Then the micro-roleplaying sets in, as it does with a group of attention-deficit disordered gay men hyped up on soda, carbs and caffiene:
Lily the Druid: (Looks into the crypt, sees a beautiful dark-haired woman in stasis clad in flowing red robes) OMG! Look at that robe! It's fabulous!
DM (Jimbo): Umm...you're a Druid, why should you care?
Lily the Druid: Well, I need a new outfit, and the color of the robe complements my eyes. What's the thread count on that robe?
DM (Jimbo): (rolling eyes, making up stuff) It's a low thread count - under 100 - but it looks breathable in the ancient linen weaving tradition of the pre-Mulhorandi Jezulain textile guilds, very popular during the post-reckoning period of Netheril's refugee city-states. So in addition to having very powerful protective magics, it would be much sought after by modern clothiers and fabric historians as the unique weave technique allows warmth, breathability and has an exquisite feel to it.
Kal the Mage: I just want to know where that bitch put her spellbook (begins searching for secret compartments)...

Then Jon pipes in with a micro-roleplaying question:

Nodjmet (Jon): So like when I died last week, and recieved a raise dead spell from the cleric, how do I know my baby is OK? (Nodjmet the half-giant is carrying a child purportedly fathered by Scorpp the Hill Giant, a disgruntled employee from the Temple of Elemental Evil. Scorp is currently tending to the livestock in the party's keep, having been emancipated from the Temple. The child is soon to come to term...)
DM (Jimbo): Did you recieve any abdominal discomfort after your return from the dead?
Nodjmet (Jon): Umm...I don't think so, why?
DM (Jimbo): Well clearly the beneficial bacteria in your digestive system came back to life too, otherwise you would be experiencing problems digesting by today. Thus, your baby is probably also included in the package with the spell, so the child is probably OK too.

These are the things that keep gay geeks content. But not for long, since next time they have to deal with this:

Posted by jimbo at 3:52 PM | Comments (7)

December 22, 2006

he make good bottom

Despite a frustrating and exhausting day at work, I went out for a bite to eat at Health Bar last night with Gurl. There was much gossip to catch up with and I hadn't spent quality Gurl Time in a while. We caught up and looked at the cute Results boys passing by, and I reminded Gurl to remind me never to never go on a date at Health Bar as my eyes wander too easily.

Anyway, Gurl asked me if I would mind walking home with him and stopping by the relatively new gay bookstore down the street to pick up a few things and I said, "Muh-huh, I was thinkin' the same thing..." So we cleared up the check and went on our way...

Like some other people who live in the area, we are both entertained by the proprietor the store as he is a plentiful font of pornographic gossip and is fun to try to understand. We made our usual perusals of the wares, and Gurl finally 'popped' the question, "So do you have some of that really good stuff behind the counter..."

As our transactions were being made, Gurl pointed up to the 'New Release' rack behind the counter and commented, "Oooh...gurl, check it out: 'Ranger'!" I chuckled a little and said, "Oh, my friend TJ likes that guy, they met at Folsom."

The shopkeeper excitedly pipes up, "Oh, dey met ad Fossom! He in heere yestahday weed hees paadnuh! He have beard like you an he so shy!"

"What?!" I didn't quite understand what he said, so he repeated himself slower, with anunciation this time. I replied, "Yeah, he really likes Jake Dakota."

"Oh, he so hot and shy, he makea good bottom in porn movie."

"What?!" Again, I kinda didn't quite catch what he said, but then it started to sink in. Shopkeeper repeats himelf again: "He so hot and have-a shy face, he make a hot bottom in porn movie. I try to tehl heem dat."

Now most people don't get to hear a deep gut laugh out of me, but that's the best line I'd heard all week, and I let out a loud guffaw right there in the store.

So Gurl starts moving out of the store, and Shopkeeper says to me, "So, you like animal?"

"What?!" Again, I wasn't prepared for what I thought he just said. I replied, "Umm...I like animals as pets, in aquariums and looking at them in the outdoors..."

"No, I have someting behind counter, good deal just for you. Cute pet!" He pulls a wicker box from under the register, and I hear a soothing, trilling noise from within.

"Now, you must unnahstan tree tings: Furst - no open popper after midnight, bad ting happen when you do dat. Animal go from teddy bear to angertwink. Secon - no spill lube on animal. Bad ting happen, you get more angertwink! Tree - no turn on multi-spectrum bright light on teddy bear, he no like Happy Light..."

Posted by jimbo at 8:53 AM | Comments (16)

December 21, 2006

happy solstice, goddammit!

Aaagh! The shortest day of the year! I'm so depressed and enraged and disappointed with everybody!

Just kidding. Happy Winter Solstice. Go burn a wicker man, it'll make you feel good.

OMG, Transformers. I almost pooped my pants when I watched this trailer, hat tip to hot bearded geek Chris. Then I watched it again and my head exploded because it was just too much for this geek to handle. Screen shots and sneak previews here. Will somebody bury me in a snowbank to simulate suspended animation like Butters did to Cartmann in South Park, until July?

Proof of gay Daywalker / Ginger Kid conspiracy here. Not work safe.

I'm Alive. I'm Alive. I'm Alive. I'm Alive.

Gawd, I feel inspired, must be the solstice or a muse running around behind my back...

Posted by jimbo at 11:43 AM | Comments (10)

December 17, 2006

Idiopathic Gluteal Hyperhydrosis

When we play D&D we will often round-robin at other player's homes, and this time it was at Jon's in one of those old DC apartment buildings with beautiful architecture but inefficient steam heat. As in, when the heat is on you bake throughout the entire winter. Anyhow, it was hot in his apartment and I was starting to get Swamp Ass. One of our players is an MD, so we asked him what the official medic's terminology might be, and he said it was Idiopathic Gluteal Hyperhydrosis. So there you have it.

It was an insane weekend where everyone was rushing around going to six gazillion holiday parties, myself included. Blowoff was very fun, and I apparently became 'The Arbiter of Shirtlessness', trying to get everyone in a 10' radius of myself to be shirtless at any given time. I was successful and had minions assisting me throughout the evning. Perhaps I'm an 8th level cleric with access to the spell Shirtless, 10' Radius or something. Will save DC 20 or be forced to remove shirt.

All this spellcasting has me very tired but I have homework and a paper to complete before tomorrow evening. Joy.

Quote of the evening at Blowoff, I don't remember from whom: "Jimbo: your breath is always minty fucking fresh."

Posted by jimbo at 8:58 PM | Comments (6)

December 12, 2006

a request...

Anyone out there in movieland, L.A. or NYC who has connections to the promo/marketing department that is handling the upcoming Transformers movie? I want to get a movie poster or pre-release memorabalia for my brother for Christmas, as both of us have been fans for years. Well into our late teens, we were both happy as pie to get Tranformer toys for Christmas. Drop me an e-mail if you have any connections...

This Just In: I got a poster, thanks for your help!

Posted by jimbo at 10:38 PM | Comments (3)

December 3, 2006

gestation period of a typical half-giant

Ultimate geek quote from tonight's D&D game:

Jon: "...well, it depends on how long my half-giant is pregnant with the child..."
Jimbo: "I'll have to check with my contacts about that."
Gurl: "Who the hell do you know that knows how long a half-giant would be pregnant for?"

Posted by jimbo at 8:36 PM | Comments (3)

November 21, 2006

Gurl has a Stove Top Stuffing fetish

So last night we were watching Heroes at Gurl's house, and while scrounging for food in her cupboards I came across 14 boxes of Stove Top Stuffing. Now I'm overjoyed that she has a taste for this delightful delicacy, but I was the one assigned to bring it for her dinner on Thursday! Now she's either got a Stove Top fetish, or didn't trust my cooking skills with crouton dishes...

Damn, with 25 comments on yesterday's 'brining' post, you people are sure passionate about how you cook. Brining is still retarded, however.

Anyhow, with Claire the Cheerleader saved on Heroes, we can all breathe easy over the holiday.

Good News: Xanadu broadway musical still in progress. For those of you in the know in NYC, if you can tag me some tickets for the official show, count me up there on short notice. I am SO THERE!
Bad News: Peter Jackson not gonna do a live-action movie of The Hobbit. Waaah, I was looking forward to that.

Here's a pic from the party I went to on Friday featuring (from left to right) Jason, moi, Kurtie and Steve.

I will be going to a cabin in VA with Jason and Kurtie on Saturday. The weather outlook predicts cold weather, which is common this time of year in the area, but I read that the cabin is nice and toasty inside, albeit sans electricity. It should be fun!

Posted by jimbo at 5:52 PM | Comments (3)

November 19, 2006

GWM seeks reliable Ethiopian food carry-out service

Dukem sucks donkey dick. While I'm all for supporting local and multicultural businesses, Dukem Ethiopian restaurant at 1114 U St., NW sucks. I've been there for carry-out four times now, and they have a 50% success rate at getting food out quickly. Tonight at D&D we decided to try something other than Chinese or pizza, and I made the mistake of offering Ethiopian food as an alternative. So the 6 of us ordered a $60 tab at 5:30pm and were told to pick it up at 6pm. I arrived to get it at 6, which only served to remind them that they had to start cooking it. An hour and a half later they get our order done. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me, and I think they just don't know how to run a carry-out business. Anyhow, they suck, and there's plenty of other places to get food on U. Can anyone suggest a more reliable Ethiopian delivery or carry-out in the area?

Here's a photograph of tonight's pulse-pounding D&D encounter with animated statues in The Mud Sorceror's Tomb:

I had a fun weekend starting off with a crazy party on Friday for the season kick-off of a local g/l/bi/whatever ski and snowboard group. But a mere 6 beers on a Friday night will slow me down for the rest of the weekend I'm afraid. Probably another reason I don't often go out on Fridays anymore, as I just don't recover like I used to. But I did manage to clean up the front and back gardens, and put away my air conditioner, boxed up the drag and rugby stuff, so the house is in order now.

Posted by jimbo at 8:47 PM | Comments (6)

October 30, 2006

get your geek on

Saturday, November 4th is Worldwide Dungeons and Dragons Game Day. Be sure to represent with your multihedral dice that day! Dig out that elf ranger character sheet and stock up on chips and pop. We'll be playing most likely, and I'll try to take pictures.

Well Charlene has been put away and after November I can have my house back from all these intruding personae. There are wigs, dresses, rugby kit bags, winter jackets and running pants strewn everywhere around my house. At the very least I need a coatrack. My house is a mess.

Chris wants to be woofy. I say he already is, but I can't wait to see the developments of his scruff growth. Wuuuuf.

I carved a small grimacing pumpkin at Gurl's house Saturday night. I tried to put the pumpkin seeds in it's gums to give it teeth, but both the gums and the seeds were too slippery to insert that night. So I let it and the seeds sit for a day. The next day the gums and seeds were dry enough to handle and insert. It looked really cool, my pumkin with teeth. But today I find that squirrels ate all of my pumpkin's seed-teeth. Damn squirrels!

Posted by jimbo at 1:09 PM | Comments (3)

October 24, 2006

Watch the Drag Queens, Save the World

Last night's Heroes was a hoot as usual. I really like that show. Howabout that candidate Petrelli (Adrian Pasdar) hottie? His smile is devastating, and even though he's a lean little tidbit of a man, I think he's dreamy - and the man can fly. And don't forget: if you save the cheerleader, you save the world. Huh, whaddaya know - he's married to a Dixie Chick. Me want shirtless screenshots of the man.

And if you weren't floored by last Friday's Battlestar Galactica you are probably neurologically damaged in some way. Howabout Galactica's low-atmosphere Viper fighter deployment and subsequent jump into lightspeed? WOW that was the coolest special effect I've seen in years.

Tonight is the drag race, starting at 9pm. Be there early, like 1 hour in advance at least, if you want a decent place to stand and watch. Do not call me tonight to ask where and what time it is...if you haven't caught an ad or know it by now, please don't interrupt my transformation into Charlene Hilton, the illegitemate half-sister of Paris, who was exiled to Dallas.

And if I hear the words "Grey's Anatomy" one more time I'm going to puke in the face of whoever said it. No, I will not watch it. That is all.

Posted by jimbo at 12:24 PM | Comments (18)

October 9, 2006

Fat Apollo Jokes

So last Friday's Battlestar Galactica premiere was awesome. I was really wondering where they would go with the New Caprica storyline. In fact I didn't believe it was happening and thought it was a dream sequence. But it appears that New Caprica is clearly Iraq, and they Cylons are the U.S. occupational forces. I preferred seasons 1 and 2 where this metaphor was a bit more subtle. They all but screamed it at us on Friday.

We won't be seeing Jamie Bamber in his full hotness due to a large amount of prosthetics to make him fat. You can only wonder what the scuttlebutt on the Pegasus deck sounds like...

"How did Apollo get so fat after he got command of the Pegasus?"
"Nobody showed him where the gym was..."

"Did you hear that we have a new Battlestar in the fleet?"
"Yeah, our fleet now consists of Battlestars Galactica, Pegasus and Apollo."

"Did you hear that the secret Cylon project to create a replica of Lee Adama failed?"
"Really?! What happened?"
"They couldn't find enough resources to build a life-size model..."

"How many Cylon Centurions do you need to take down Commander Apollo?"

Finish this punchline or add your own Fat Apollo jokes in the comments section.

Posted by jimbo at 6:44 PM | Comments (13)

October 2, 2006

Ariel, Thundarr and Ookla respond to the Mark Foley Incident

	Maf54 (8:08:31 PM): get a ruler and measure it for me.
	MWAARRRGGGGH!?!
	Demon Dogs! Ariel, stop talking to Ookla like that!
	Relax Thundarr, it's not like I'm some creepy 'ol hypocrite.
	Umm...Oookla is 16 years old.
	Oh. Crap. Sorry 'bout that Ookla.
	>:' [

Posted by jimbo at 10:38 PM | Comments (6)

September 28, 2006

fun with science, potions, witches and nature

Some of the frozen items delivered via Peapod home grocery delivery service from Giant come with dry ice. With such side benefits from the service I get to act like the evil witch Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, and I make a vile potion to bring down my enemies:

When I drop the dry ice into warm water it roils and boils and puts off that cool gas, and I cackle like a mad hag. It's clean, simple fun.

Maybe I'll save some dry ice for the 2nd Annual Stevie Nicks Hallowe'en video party at Omega on October 21st. I'll try to make it and have a Stevie Nicks cocktail at 2122 P St., NW...

...at the rear entry of the address.
>; )

Despite deadlines at work (well, there are always deadlines it seems...) I managed to get Friday off to drive to the Dolly Sods Wilderness area of the Monongahela National Forest in West Virginia. It is a very scenic area at the top of the Appalacian range, and almost resembles some parts of Canada or Alaska. The colors of the blueberries, maples and heather should be changing and vibrant. I can't wait. It's been a while since I've gone backpacking, and after this week I have some open spaces coming to me.

Posted by jimbo at 7:43 AM | Comments (13)

September 26, 2006

Jimbo's 2000 blue Volkswagon Jetta-finding contest, and other shitty Monday happenings

My friend let me use and take care of his car while he was away on vacation. On Sunday afternoon I parked it on Swann Street, NW between 15th and 14th - but in a street cleaning zone for Monday. My bad, and it got moved, but not towed, according to the DC DMV towing agency. It was apparently moved to the 1800 block of 16th Street, NW, but when I searched for it this morning it was not there. I circled around all adjacent blocks searching with my LASIK-enhanced vision that allows me to see for miles, but no dice. Multiple calls to the DC DMV towing agency have come up with nothing, but they seemed to become very helpful-sounding when I asked them if I should call non-emergency, and suddenly asked for my name and number for further communications. But where is my friend's midnight blue 2000 Volkswagen Jetta, DC tags AR0144? Tonight's exercise will be to ride my bike around and look for it again, but if you e-mail me with the correct location of this car, and I find then it, I will take you out to dinner.

After having such a fantastic weekend and then losing my friend's car, Monday hit like the Terrible Tuesdays back when I was a club kid dropping E every weekend and had to recover from the ride. Damn, Monday felt like I did a 72-hour crystal meth binge starting on Friday. But no illegal substances were taken. Perhaps it was the high from such a good game on Saturday. I really was totally high from such a fun match, and I suppose there could be some medical credence to how I'm feeling today. Playing and winning is addictive, and I crave it. Just like when you drop E or acid on a Saturday night, the rest of the week seems grey and mundane.

And it doesn't help when Monday rolls around and I get an e-mail from a blog reader telling me that I look like Cameron Diaz' fat retarded brother in 'Something About Mary'. Hey Rob, thanks for having having such an awesome sense of humor! And it was so noble that you didn't put it in the comments section, but e-mailed me personally with the insult. I don't know what you were thinking by having to send that on a day that just kept getting worse, but it certainly was icing on the cake. It gets better:

I had a dinner date scheduled with a guy whom I was really looking forward to getting to know. But he called to say he had to work late. So that sucked.

On a positive note, since I had all this spare time I had set aside for the aborted date Monday night, "Heroes" on NBC was AWESOME. I loved all the characters, especially the Japanese guy ("Supa Hiro!") who can teleport and the cheerleader who seems to be nearly indestructible. And what's up with that stripper's power? Can she summon a version of herself who is kind of her Id? I know it's an X-Men ripoff, but I still can't wait until next Monday. Should anyone ask me on a date that day (Ha!) I'm afraid I'm booked, unless he wants to sit and watch with me.

This is why my City of Heroes computer game is so appealing to me these days. It's been a bad summer in general, with the death of a friend and a general lack of dates I have been really excited about. It would be nice, just once in 2006, to be asked out on a date by a guy where there was mutual interest right off the bat. But most of the time I seem to be the one always doing the approaching and advancing. Alpha Ant, Psister Shade, GooGuy and Tiny Troll were the preferred dates of summer 2006.

Or maybe I should just limit myself to rugby, running, the gym, work, and hanging out with friends. A monastic, ascetic lifestyle. Perhaps I'm not ready for the hard hits in the dating scene just yet.

So to sum up Monday, I lost my friend's car and I apparently look fat and retarded.

What a fucking shitty Monday.

Posted by jimbo at 2:52 PM | Comments (14)

September 24, 2006

animal pictures

Lots of animal pictures from the weekend. Will from our team took the following two pics of me riled up and ready for our match against the Atlanta Bucks, which we won despite my pessimism about the outcome before the match. We all played very well and fought hard. My face took a beating too:

Red came to watch, and enjoyed the sights and the social. He's a cool bean. My back held out well during the match, thanks to all the good Valium-induced rest I got during the week:

On Sunday me and Gurl and Bubbles went to the Maryland Rennaissance Festival to see the Renn Fest Geeks and lots of other strange animals. I liked the elephants best:

One of the elephants seemed agitated so I gave him some of my Valium and he said "Thank you for the crack!"

Here's Bubbles and Gurl watching the jousting match:

I wish they had knights on flying ostritches fighting evil knights on vultures and pterodactyls, but I had to settle for horses.

Full plate armor must be hot, but it gives you a +8 to your Armor Class:

Gurl took some good action shots:

Photo by GURL. I had hoped it was kilt weekend, but it was pirate weekend with lots of Capt. Jacks around. But there were plenty of D.I.L.F.s to be spotted:

Longbows provide ranged attacks which are useful against armies and flying opponents such as wyverns and such creatures:

On the way home I got a picture of the semi-feral cat that hangs out in my front yard. I leave some water for her to drink. I've been working on getting closer to her, and she allows me to get up to 2 feet away before walking off:

On Friday our team hosted the Bucks at Titan. Naturally I again got fingered in the ass by some bear, despite the new spaciousness of the place. Next time it happens I'm going to pretend I enjoyed his lascivious advances, but will then pour my beer down his crotch after I pretend to actually want to dig around in his crotch.

Posted by jimbo at 4:53 PM | Comments (10)

September 22, 2006

weekend plans

This Saturday we have home matches against Rappahannock (a local league team) and the Atlanta Bucks (a hot gay team who came to play with us). Kickoff for Rappahannock is Noon at Colmar Manor Park. Kickoff against the Bucks follows immediately after the Rappahannock match finishes. Social to follow at Titan around 3 or 4ish.

Tonight we meet 'n greet the Bucks at the now dark but more spacious Titan at 7ish. I had a stressy week and don't know if I'm gonna go. We'll see how I feel when I get home tonight, if I don't pass out entirely.

I think a buncha us geeks are going to the Rennaissance Fair out in Maryland, which is always a hoot. I hope to see muscular men in kilts, and throw some axes or shoot an arrow at targets (not the men in kilts).

Posted by jimbo at 4:27 PM | Comments (2)

September 4, 2006

Crikey!

In the words of Piranha Sean, this stingray 'Rolled a 20'. Deaths by stingray barb attacks are rare, and a direct hit to the heart rarer still. Rays are fairly peaceful unless provoked. I think the animal world was striking back from being pestered so much.

Today I went to see Another Gay Movie with the gurls, which was raunchy and silly and good for some gut laughs. It's pretty much a gay version of American Pie, where 4 guys are bound and determined to have anal sex before the summer is over. Hilarity ensues, with lots of penis and butt gags.

I also saw 'The New World' with that scruffy Irish guy in it. The cinematography was awesome, and the film was quite a trip. It was filmed using only natural light. Gurl pointed out that while Massachusetts was founded by religious fanatics and Virginia by merchantile interests, the opposite seems to be true today.

The hurricane came and went with a nice 24-hours' worth of light rain and crazy wind. It was fun, but little damage in the city except for some rotten trees that fell. Hurricanes are something I like about living here in DC. I find hurricane weather really exciting.

I went to my first college football game on Saturday. It was festive...with pyrotechnics! 'We' won. American football is a lot like rugby, but there's a lot of standing around, time outs and general laziness. Rugby is harder. Football players are pampered.

OMG DJ TM was lots of fun until the house got packed. DJ played lots of Old Skool. I didn't make it to Prince vs. Madonna at the Black Cat as I had just finished a huge meal and when I saw the line stretching down the block I knew I wasn't up for it, so I played City of Heroes until 4am. Hawt. I cannot get 'Look on the Floor' by Bananarama out of my head today.

Posted by jimbo at 11:44 PM | Comments (2)

July 26, 2006

Ariel, Thundarr and Ookla respond to 'N Sync crisis

	OMG Lance Bass is gay!
	Lords of Light! You mean the big hairy guy from 'N Sync?
	YAARRRGGGGH!
	No. Sorry Ookla, it's the bug-eyed blond one who tried to go into space and is dating Limeskin Ripeswell or something like that.
	>:' [
	Too bad it wasn't JT.

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July 21, 2006

abused actresses, laser beams and wooly mammoths

SuperGeek Trivia Challenge:
Name the actress and film shown in the movie still to the left. If you get it right, you are a Super-Duper Geek. No cheating on IMDB!

SuperGeek Bonus Round Question:
In which film did this same actress receive yet another round of unwanted cosmetic surgery? A clue is in the subject header of this blog entry. If you get both right without consulting the Internets, you are a Super-Mega-Zord-Geek.

We Have a Winner: Jeffrey at SuburbanNerd, with the answer: "Saturn 3 and Farrah Fawcett and Logans Run." A close second goes to Scott Brooks, whose answer came in minutes after Jeffrey's. Jeffrey, you are a Super-Duper Mega-Zord Geek! Scott is merely a Super-Geek.

This morning's check-up confirmed that all is well with my peepers. Athough she did not warn me before moving her fingers to prop open my eyes, an action that got a sharp reaction from me. I flinched and backed up and said like a Klingon: "Your finger is in my eye." To which she responded with an affirmation that her finger was there in order to prop it open. I wish she had warned me, because she had really long fingernails.

Anyhow, I can see clearly now the gunk is gone from my eyes, although there is a bit of irritation at times and my eyes feel tired. I'm working from home, doing my drops as directed, and napping frequently.

I just finished a great sci-fi novel by John Varley. Years ago I read his Titan trilogy (the other 2 being Wizard and Demon) and liked them a lot. Now you may not know, but I've always wanted a pet wooly mammoth, or at the very least a mastadon, but preferrably a war mammoth like in the Lord of the Rings movies, whom I will name 'Stampy'. Varley's recent novel, Mammoth, realizes all my birthday present fantasies and more. Archaeological mysteries, mammoth/elephant hybrids, possible time travel, tar pits, giant laser beams, metaphysic theory and beasts running amok in Los Angeles all made for a good read. It's sorta like Jurassic Park with fur, but the characters are more interesting and there's surprises at every chapter.

And now for something completely different: The Blair Necessities - a blog dedicated to spreading the Word of born-again Facts of Life actress Lisa Whelchel.

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July 20, 2006

turn the inner eye

I should not even be online right now to blog, but adding an entry is easier than replying to all your kind e-mails of support, which I will respond to when the monitor glow isn't making my frontal lobes ache.

The laser eye surgery went well, but having one's eyes forced open, poked at, cut through, momentary blindness, lasered, then painted back shut with something is REALLY disturbing. I broke out in a cold sweat while it was going on, even though my doctor looked like Mark Singer from The Beastmaster (hot hot hot). They all have hot doctors at the places I went to for this procedure, fyi. Anyhow, even though the actual procedure was only a few minutes long and very efficient, while it was going on my 'fight or flight' instincts were screaming bloody murder. My body was saying to me quite clearly "THERE IS SOMEBODY FORCING YOUR EYES OPEN AND POKING SHIT AT THEM AND IT IS NOW TIME TO RUN BEFORE THEY PUT MORE SHIT INTO YOUR EYES RUN RUN RUNNNNNN!!!! AAAAGH! HERE COMES THE LASER!!! WHAT'S THAT SMELL??!?!?! RUN FIGHT RUNNN!!!!!"

But then I remembered my Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

And now I can see and ride sandworms and augment my sonic weapons with deadly force. And bitch, if you poke that poison finger thing at me I will cut you...

Posted by jimbo at 9:31 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

July 18, 2006

A Stalker's Pledge

No Harm Shall Visit The Bamber
for as long as I breathe.
His Auburn Halo shall glow for me.
His scruff forever present,
hot British accent barely held in check.

Hey Bamber Stalkers...a larger desktop version of this image with hi-rez scruff and chest fur can be found here.

Just ignore the inane Out magazine copy text, which undoubtedly conjectures whether or not Bamber is gay, whether or not Apollo is gay, blah blah blah. Neither are, but hotness sells magazines.

As my husband, The Bamber transcends gay/straight labeling. He is simply mine.

From Carl, some more definitions...I'm definitely guilty on both counts of being both a Cuddleslut and a Cuddlewhore. I was once most impressed by a very memorable Christmas trick way back when where the guy made it clear beforehand that he was a Cuddlewhore, and also made me pledge ahead of time that we would cuddle afterwards. That's my kind of guy.

Cuddleslut: A guy who loves to cuddle after sex, even if it's just a hookup. Can be a challenge to get rid of, though usually a spritz from a water bottle will get them out, just like a kitty out of the fish pudding. They must give off some sort of vibe, as they drive even average people to letting strangers stay the night. Even I've been seduced, and liked it.

Cuddlewhore: A guy who hooks up with you only for the purpose of cuddling afterward. Can often be a touch sanctimonious, as they feel they've "paid" for the cuddling, by putting out. The water spritz won't work. There may not be a way out, as far as I'm aware. Prepare for dreams of gnawing your own arm off, and pray you brought a sedative.

Posted by jimbo at 8:24 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

June 6, 2006

U Street self-contained ecosystem paradise

The iris in my pond out back gave one blossom a few weeks ago, and I took a photo before I left for NYC:

This Saturday I planted two Russian sage plants, and relocated some castor bean plants to flank them on each side. Behind them are sunflowers, and to the left are zinnias, echinacea, rudibechia and daisies that promise a few blossoms later this month. I don't know where I'll put the Devil's Claw plants that are coming up behind the sunflowers, but I think they'll need more light when they get bigger.

Out back I planted some elephant ears, and the hostas and my bathroom fern are enjoying the shade. The pond iris is done blooming now. Small lily pads have come up, and I've relocated the aquarium guppies into the pond to control the mosquito larvae. Once outside they'll get bigger, more colorful, and have lots of babies.

And here's a photo I took of one of my favorite birds, the simple song sparrow, that has a very cheerful call. His wings are spread out because it was hot that day, and he was airing out his armpits. I like the pattern on his chest - cuz baby, he's a star:

I suppose since I'm still burning in gay hell for being critical about that gay cowboy movie, I can burn in geek hell for being critical about X:3. I will say that it was entertaining and it was cool to see all the powers displayed so well, and I can give the writers a break for downgrading Phoenix from a cosmic force to a mental disorder. It was good to see Cyclops with scruff, and of course you know I LOVED that muscle and fur on Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut, and Colossus wasn't bad either (but could have had some more lines). But a lot of the lines were layered so heavy with Cheez-Whiz I was shaking my head, and where the hell was Nightcrawler? He was my favorite, but Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man was a surprise to see. At least Storm got some better lines this time around and got to kick ass with her powers, and I was impressed with Kelsey Grammar as the Beast.

And yes, I stayed for the secret ending part, and someone's cell phone rang THREE TIMES during the film with some classic old skool rap ring tone. But I held it together and didn't go Jimbo Postal on them.

God does exist, but she apparently was hungry. Is this the return of Sekhmet, raining vengance upon the wicked and those filled with hubris, perhaps?

For some people, every day is the day of the beast.
Please, don't kiss the beast.
Be superior at least.

Rain is wet,
and sugar is sweet.

Clap your hands,
and stomp your feet.

Everybody,
everybody knows,

when Love calls,
you got to go.

Welcome to the New Power Generation.
The reason why my voice is so clear is that there's no smack in my brain.

Posted by jimbo at 8:42 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

June 5, 2006

I am so scene

Despite senseless deaths in Iraq, our idiot President protecting us from the horrors of gay marriage, and other various and sundry portents of doom, we are lucky to have pictures of England rugby's Ben Cohen in underwear on the Internets to help us forget such things:

Ben has the most adorable little kid smile complimented by a lush growth of chest fur, accentuated with a distinct and imminently lickable treasure trail. Shoulders like breakfast-sized bran muffins too.

I went to see Kathy Griffin last night at the Warner Theatre with a bunch of catty queens, and it was a lot of fun. Her routine was LONG, and we certainly got our money's worth from the show. I laughed a lot. I hope she kicks Ryan Seacrest's ass some day (again).

Before that I was a big giant queen and had two big girly cosmos at Halo. We were discussing that apparently some people loathe Halo for some reason. I go there because it's smoke free, and there are usually fewer overly-drunk twinks there who can't handle their booze, because the booze there ain't cheap, so it keeps the cheapos out of the place. Apparently some people avoid going there for fear of being perceived as in "the scene" too much, whatever that means. I am so scene. Fear this queen.

I remember shaking things up there this winter when I had a birthday gathering. Most of the guys who showed up to meet me were either on the rugby team or had facial hair. This was disturbing to the usual crowd at Halo, as one of whom approached us and said sibilantly, "Exssscussse me? Isss thisss Bear night or sssomething?" I love it.

I am going to see X-Men tonight. I hear that it isn't all that consisent with the comics, but these days not even the comics are consistent with the comics. There must be like a dozen X-titles out on the shelves these days. Do not be in shock that I haven't seen the film yet - I don't go opening weekends, or any weekends, for that matter as I don't like huge theatre crowds. Anyone using a cell phone in the theatre, as they usually do in DC, enrages me and it totally ruins the experience for me. On weeknights there are usually fewer opportunities for me to be enraged by movie theatre cell phone use.

Posted by jimbo at 10:57 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

April 30, 2006

Jimbo vs. Kaiju Gamera

Crunchy-cute granola boy at the Deanwood Metrorail stop was kind enough to point me to the Kennilworth Aquatic Gardens with a warning that it was to close in 20 minutes (at 4pm on Sundays), so I raced there on my bike to make the best of it. Thwarted at every turn on the twisting paths around the ponds by ornery geese guarding their nests, I was not able to scout out the location where I previously spotted an American Bittern this winter. But I was able to see several gargantuan Kaiju-sized turtles lurking under the lily pads, surely the reason why the geese were so cranky. The armored beasts must make a meal of more than a few cute fuzzy goslings:

I spent Saturday catching up around the house and receiving my new futon rather than play rugby. The futon is fabulous, sturdy and with storage drawers! Thanks to mom for the purchase, it's too bad we had to find out the previous one was rickety during her visit.

My back and body needed a break from rugby in preparation for a big tournament in Baltimore next weekend. Later that evening we played D&D as an old player was in town for a visit, and there were eight players total. The large force was able to take down The Temple of Elemental Evil in its entirety, which is now merely a pile of rubble. After a year or more of playing that module, I think the geeks are ready for something different.

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April 17, 2006

trial by geek

I forgot to mention we inducted a new member into my D&D group, a straight guy from my rugby team. He's a teacher here in The DC, so when my regular players started screeching and bouncing off the walls like crack babies from eating too many sugary Easter cookies, he didn't bat an eye. I think he'll get along well with all my little crack baby D&D players.

On Saturday some volunteers and friends from the rugby team helped out at the Flight 93 memorial:

Athletes pitch in at Flight 93 memorial

This coming weekend we will play rugby with one of our great friends and rivals, USUHS, the Fighting Docs of the US military's medical college. Be at Colmar Manor Park around Noon for some fun in the sun.

It'll be an Earth Day rugby celebration, so let's hope getting crunchy doesn't mean any broken bones and only some rutting about in the mud.

Posted by jimbo at 10:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 1, 2006

BSG finale: discuss

I keep forgetting to discuss the Battlestar Galactica season finale. Now that it's been a few weeks, there's little danger of spoiler spoilage. If you haven't seen it yet, too bad - get with the program.

I was disappointed with the President Roslyn's uncharacteristic machinations to retain her presidency, the whole leap ahead to the colonalization of New Caprica, and the Cylon re-invasion and capture of the refugees. None of it rings consistent with character behavior, and frankly, the whole leap ahead is a cheap writer trick. Something tells me it has got to be someone's dream sequence (also a cheap writer/plot trick). I think it was Baaltar's dreams manipulated by the Six in his head. She's fucking with his mind for some reason, to gain some kind of advantage in his reasoning. Anyhow, the show better please with the season premiere.

I went to see SLiTHER on Friday night with OMG DJ Timothy Mykael last night. The movie was gross, Gross, GROSS! Totally, pleasantly gross, with a storyline that was coherent and with an interesting plot. Kind of a love child between Invasion of the Body Snatchers and John Carpenter's The Thing. I give it a matinee recommendation, and/or save up to see it on NetFlicks for sure.

Today we played rugby in Anacostia Park. It was the first time I had set foot in that part of DC. Our A-side lost but not by much, and I think the B-side game was like 3-0, and I played well. The cherry blossoms were out and it was a good day for rugby. After the match social on Penn Ave., NE I decided to take the bus home. Just after passing Gallaudet University our bus died, right in front of the sketchiest liquor store in town. That and I was in shorts, as it was getting windy and cold outside. Not wanting to hang out shivering in sketchtown for long, I grabbed a cab and got home to my cozy basement.

Posted by jimbo at 8:25 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

March 5, 2006

Rate my heroes!

So somebody asked that question again, to which I promptly answered, "Because men are so tasty, especially with A-1 Sauce!" I really should be honest with those who ask and tell them that I already have at least six boyfriends:

I spend a lot of time with them on City of Heroes, most evenings in fact, often until 2am on weeknights. I've been really bad lately. I admit I'm totally addicted, approaching the level of GeekSlut with World of Warcraft, a game which most of my former City of Heroes-playing friends have sold their souls to as well. Anyway, here's a breakdown of my boyfriends, in order of time logged on playing with each:

- Alpha Ant: tech blaster, fire/energy
- Big Bad Woof: magic defender, weather/sonic
- Captain Crunk: mutation controller, mental/healing
- Geardagh: magic tanker, earth/earth
- The Green Bay Packer: natural tanker, ice/invulnerability
- Tiny Troll: mutation corruptor, vines 'n spines (City of Villains)

Rate my heroes! Geardagh is the woofiest, while I think Alpha Ant is kind of cute (he's short and Jewish). The Green Bay Packer is most popular online, and everyone he meets wants to talk football, which I din't know much about, but he's friends with Brett Favre. Captain Crunk is good for a laugh, and much valued on a team as an efficient healer and teleporter. Tiny Troll is short 'n spunky, while Big Bad Woof has an awesome back story.

No embargo this weekend, as while it's been cold outside the heat misers upstairs have kept the heat going. I found that I don't actually control all the water, just the hot water, just in case. But I think I'll go the route of one last request when the heat is off on cold nights, before contacting the landlord. Winter is almost over, but it ain't over yet.

Redesign inspired by Dooce using Jason Gaylor's Fresh Foliage Photoshop brushes. I'm not as artistic or color-coordinated as either, but the winter snowflake motif had to go. Things are sprouting outside! Is the blue too much?

Posted by jimbo at 6:48 PM | Comments (12)

March 3, 2006

Who rule Bartertown? JIMBO rule Bartertown!!!

Remember that 1985 film Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome? Not only did it feature Tina Turner in a role as post-apocalyptic mayor Auntie Entity (in various fabulous chain mail outfits), but it also provides many good quoteable quotes, and also gave good lessons in dipolomacy and politics. I managed to find an instructor's lesson plan for a systems analysis class using the film as a case study.

Anyway, I have a Bartertown situation going on at home. Upstairs, Auntie Entity, Ironbar and and Mad Max control the radiator heat. It is warmer upstairs and they are trying to save money, so they rarely turn it on. Much like MasterBlaster, I live in the basement unit, and have been freezing my ass off lately. When the temperature outside drops below freezing, it gets pretty cold in the basement, and my space heaters just don't do the trick. Plus I think my heat is simply going upstairs, heating them and making them feel content that everything is fine. Considering the radiator heat is more efficient and heats more effectively than my space heaters, we would all benefit if they turned on the frackin' radiators once in a while. I pay $1000/mo. in rent, I want some frakkin' heat. I served my time with the Peace Corps on the Siberian steppes, I know when I want my warm comfy home. I am and have been over being cold for quite some time.

I have been nice, diplomatic, polite and communicative in my numerous requests that they turn the heat on when it is below freezing outside. Most nights my requests go unnoticed or ignored. One night I swear my bedroom temperature was hovering around the low 50s.

CORRECTION: Tonight as I type with numb hands and the temperature drops to 28 outside, my thermometer marks a brisk 48 degrees inside.

However, while they control the heat, the main water valve for the entire house is in my unit. I consider home temperature part of the 'shelter' category in the basic needs of wildlife (shelter, space, food, water, etc.), and perhaps it's time they learn a lesson in both empathy and politics. My options in diplomacy bring to mind one phrase used by the character MasterBlaster in the Thunderdome film:

"Embargo on! Main valve off!
Four, three, two. . . .
Who run Bartertown?"

JIMBO RUN BARTERTOWN!!!

Welcome to another edition of Thunderdome!
Listen on! Listen on!
This is the truth of it:
Fighting leads to killing,
and killing gets to warring.
And that was damn near
the death of us all.
Look at us now, busted up
and everyone talking about hard rain.
But we've learned by the dust
of them all. Bartertown's learned.
Now when men get to fighting,
it happens here.
And it finishes here.
Two men enter, one man leaves.
And right now,
I've got two men.
Two men with a gut full of fear.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. . .
. . .dying time's here!

Posted by jimbo at 10:38 AM | Comments (19)

January 11, 2006

yet more vapid sci-fi lusting

I'm actually kinda crazed at work today, so no rabid, mouth-frothing rant today. SORRY!

So instead I will talk about scruff and chest hair patterns. Many blessings to my patron from Quinnipiac University who sends me this awesome hi-rez headshot of the hunky Joe Flannigan, who plays Lt. Col. John Sheppard on Stargate: Atlantis. Everyone repeat after me, with high voices: "He's so DREAMY! 'sigh!'" On this Friday's new episode of SG-Atlantis, entitled 'Epiphany', Sheppard sports a nearly-full beard, or well-advanced scruff, depending on how you look at it. Some chest fur teases too. Quinnipiac says the picture to the left is 'scruffy' but I consider it mere stubble. It's scruff if I can bite it with my teeth, as I would with Joe Flannigan's scruff in Friday's episode.

Joe is currently on my desktop both at home and at work. I used to have this huge, hi-res photo of Jamie Bamber on my desktop but the image looked kind of spooky...I kept feeling like Jamie Bamber was stalking me or something. It's really not a good feeling thinking Jamie Bamber is stalking you, even though it sounds like a good idea.

As you may have guessed, I'm more of a face person. And scruff. And I can never stop looking at that little 'V' in a person's collar line (present on both pictures here) which may or may not give promise to the presence of chest fur. That's what I look at. When someone tells me, "Oh, that guy is sooo hung! Look at that bulge!" I'll have to admit I'm usually the last one to notice - I have been looking above the shoulders, not below.

Now Kyan Douglas on last night's episode of Queer Eye was downright scruffy, fyi. I'd link to something but the official Bravo TV website is fucked up at the moment. Some webmaster in NYC doesn't know what he/she's doing! Cross-browser compatibility, anyone? Oh wait, I promised not to rant today.

Gurl and I are developing a new chest hair rating system, somewhat based on my B.H.I. scale (Body Hair Index) . While B.H.I. rates how hairy a man is, my new chest hair scale will help gay men and women describe the chest hair patterns on a guy, which until now has been hard to relate to friends and family. I have yet to name the system, but will use the suit symbols on playing cards, that is the club ♣, spade ♠, diamond and heart ♥. Again, I'm a little busy today, but a full graphical depiction of my chest hair scaling system will be in place by this weekend.

Posted by jimbo at 1:30 PM | Comments (6)

January 7, 2006

this geek is impressed...again

Ohmigawd...I'm going to implode with excitement before next Friday...last night's episode of Battlestar Galactica (Ressurection Ship) gives promise to an awesome season indeed.

I know Admiral Cain's character is too two-dimensional to survive for long, and that Commander Adama is gonna TAKE HER DOWN! Don't mess with a Commander who's down with his crew, nor a President with breast cancer...they will fuck you up!

Just my theory...but if y'all ain't watching this show yet, recently rated as the best TV of 2005, you're missing out. All hotness aside, the entire cast is excellent, as is the writing, acting, and the intensity that is just killing me!

Posted by jimbo at 3:31 AM | Comments (5)

January 3, 2006

superstud sci-fi friday

This big 'ol geek is quaking in his boots for Superstud Sci-Fi Friday, January 6:

And then in the theatres there's the sequel to Underworld (Evolution) featuring fabu Kate Beckinsdale and hot-tay Scott Speedman, which promises to be cheesy but I don't care. Werewolf/vampire hybrids are cool. And then some half-vampire action with BloodRayne, based on a video game I've never played. And I still haven't even seen Harry Potter yet.

Posted by jimbo at 3:46 PM | Comments (10)

December 12, 2005

The Diva, The Witch, The Goddess: Tilda

I just got back from seeing The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe tonight and it was all I could do to keep from turning this entire blog into a shrine to Tilda Swinton. But let me count the ways:

- Tilda on a sleigh;
- Tilda in a fabulous ermine stole;
- Tilda with white dreadlocks;
- Tilda on a polar bear chariot a la the old Rumple Minze ads;
- Tilda with a mane;
- Tilda with the Two-Weapon Fighting proficiency and a wand of petrification.

Ohmigawd. Tilda. Whoever designed her dresses better get an Oscar. Oh yeah, and the kids and the CGI were great too, and Rupert Everett was the voice of the fox in the movie.

Posted by jimbo at 12:44 AM | Comments (9)

December 6, 2005

mystery critters, world power mashups

Oooh, I love newly discovered critters! Especially when biologists capture photographs of them with spooky reflecting eyes - making them even more mysterious. More text on the creature below in the extended entry, or follow this news link here.

This week my buddies Kenn Brown + Chris Wrenn from Monolithic Studios in Vancouver present us with some world power mashups done recently for Maxim Magazines World Power feature. They have envisioned the sort of monuments one might create while playing Civilization IV. What if the Wonders of the World were created by cultures other than the ones who accomplished them in our known history? Like the discovery of the Ancient St. Louis arch in the jungles of Indonesia, The Statue Aalyiah Latifah al Liberty standing in the Persian Gulf, The Forbidden White Palace in Beijing, or my favorite: Ganesha, Emancipator of Slaves, His Most Respectful Lord of Intellect and Wisdom. Their illustrations ask: what would things be like today if things had gone differently yesterday?

Mystery Carnivore Possibly Discovered in Borneo

GENEVA (Dec. 6) - Environmental researchers are preparing to capture what they call a new, mysterious species of carnivore on Borneo, the first such discovery on the wildlife-rich Indonesian island in over a century.

Swiss-based environmental group WWF said on Monday its researchers photographed the strange animal, which looks like a cross between a cat and a fox, in the dense, central mountainous rainforests of Borneo.

''This could be the first time in more than a century that a new carnivore has been discovered on the island,'' said the WWF in a statement.

The mammal, slightly larger than a cat with red fur and a long tail, was photographed twice by a camera trap at night.

Locals and wildlife experts who viewed photographs of the animal, which has very small ears and large hind legs, said they had never seen such a creature before and were convinced that it was a new species, WWF said.

Researchers hope to confirm the discovery by setting cage traps to catch a live specimen, but warn that Indonesian government plans to clear the rainforest to create the world's largest palm oil plantation may interfere with plans, WWF said. The proposed plantation scheme, funded by the China Development Bank, is expected to cover an area of 1.8 million hectares, equivalent to about half the size of The Netherlands, said the WWF, formerly known as the World Wide Fund for Nature.

The potential new species of carnivore in Borneo would be the first since the discovery of the Borneo ferret-badger in 1895, the WWF said.

Pictures of the animal were first taken by WWF researchers in 2003, the photos kept unpublished by the WWF as research continued. The WWF decided to make public the photos with the release of a book about Borneo, to be published on Tuesday.

Posted by jimbo at 3:59 PM | Comments (6)

December 5, 2005

for the drag queen geek

Ohmigawd...the perfect gift for the gay geek who may have done drag on occasion - Dressing a Galaxy: the Costumes of Star Wars coffee table book, apparently derived from a travelling exhibit.

Posted by jimbo at 10:27 AM

November 15, 2005

see you in the spring

Awww shit...here comes another hot PC game: Dungeons & Dragons is now online, just like World of Warcraft, Star Wars and City of Heroes/Villians. And I haven't even gotten to Civilization IV yet. Many of my more A.D.D. friends have pretty much migrated over to City of Villians while I've still just scratched the surface of City of Heroes. There's just not that much time in the day to be a geek.

Random Wisconsin city name generator.

Kazakstan government worked up over Borat the reporter (played by Ali G). Listen, Nursultan, your country needs all the exposure it can get. Winning the equestrian events at the olympics isn't going to pull your country out of obscurity.

Get this one...African-American DC pastor makes stereotype, whines about gentrification, then cries all the way to the bank with $10 mil in pocket:

"See, I found out that the rent is gonna be so high that only the rich homosexuals and lesbians will be able to buy this condominium," pastor Theresa Garrison tells the congregation.

As the Washington Post article states, part of what the pastor says is true: The condos will be priced from $400,000 to $1 million, with no set-asides for affordable units.

Yeah, but this sinful homo won't be sitting his pretty [white, as you imply] ass in your church, cuz not all homos, especially lesbians, are rich. Find some other focus for your scapegoating and stereotyping because all you're gonna get is a big FUCK YOU out of me. Nasty bitch.

Posted by jimbo at 10:17 AM | Comments (7)

November 1, 2005

Dorkapalooza. Or, Rufus brings all the 'mos to the yard.

I'm not the biggest Rufus Wainwright fan in the world, but last night's concert was fun - thanks to Blogstar Brettie for getting the tickets. Rufus is talented and clearly enjoys what he does. The crowd was cute and generally adorkable too. I was cruised by a woman and did what I always do in such situations: I freaked out and ran away screaming. A guy with his girlfriend in front of me kept himself busy by rubbing his back against my swelling crotch while his girlfriend was ignoring him while she was leaning on the railing, as she was more obsessed with Rufus. Clearly, Rufus gets the chicks and the straight/bi guys hot for homos.

I'm glad I could escape Halloween night to the concert...there were children screaming and clawing at my door all through the night beforehand and I was very scared. I had to sneak into my house through the back just so they wouldn't see me go inside. I was worried as I had no candy, only several rolls of Girl Scout Thin Mints that I would have had to part with if they caught me. "Preciousss Thin Mintssss...I will not part from My Precioussss...nasssty children taking jimbossss Thin Mintsss."

Posted by jimbo at 9:35 AM | Comments (3)

October 20, 2005

'Aqua' - discuss

So I loved tonight's episode of Smallville featuring the debut of Aquaman played by former American Idol tryout Alan Ritchson. But was he as much of a B.O.Q. (Big 'ol Queen) during the Idol tryouts? I'm not one to perpetuate stereotypes, and there's always an element of swishful thinking when an actor is so hot, but during any scene involving walking he had a swish wider than a humpback whale's tailslap. And it looked like kissing Lois Lane was just as painful to Ritchson as kryptonite is to Superman. Every time he had a speaking part I could imagine the show's writers cringing and thinking up excuses as to why Aquaman can't talk: "Hmm...well maybe Aquaman can't talk because there's water in his lungs?"

- The underwater fight scene between Aquaman and Supes was the thing that makes geeks stay up at night in glee. Totally awesome.
- I like the environmentally-conscious bent to Aquaman's character. Swooon!
- Loved the explanation of why Aquaman wears that orange and green combo - of course he went to college at U. of Miami, he has to wear Hurricane colors!
- Nice nod to the J.L.A. (Junior Lifesavers Association) at the end of the show.

I am hoping the plotline of Smallville ultimately leads to the formation of the Justice League. Flash, Aquaman and Superman present and accounted for.

Posted by jimbo at 11:08 PM | Comments (6)

September 27, 2005

virtual bloodborne pathogen is killing online characters

Wow, this shit is getting crazy - a "Corrupted Blood" plague in the online game World of Warcraft has broken out, killing virtual characters:

The digital disease instantly killed lower level characters and did not take much longer to kill even powerful characters.
---The "Corrupted Blood" plague is not the first virtual disease to break out in game worlds. In May 2000 many players of The Sims were outraged when their game characters died because of an infection contracted from a dirty virtual guinea pig.

With people killing each other in real time over virtual property, or people dying of starvation from playing too much online games, it's becoming more and more like The Matrix.

I'm in no danger of any of the above things happening to me - my DSL died last night with no warning. While I'm getting more sleep now, the withdrawl siezures are starting up...

Posted by jimbo at 10:00 AM | Comments (2)

September 22, 2005

required reading, fall TV geek review

I'm glad Colin Ferrel is my study partner this semester, because I'm gonna need lots of study breaks. I got accepted into the adult education segment of the UM system, but on a less theoretical, more management track for a public affairs Master's degree. I know management classes won't hurt me, and the coursework is basically free due to work benefits, but it seems the other classes I took previously like Persuasion and The Rhetoric of Social Movements were definitely more my speed. It looks like this semester is gonna be a snoozer:

- Weber, Max. (1946). Essays in Sociology. A Horridly Long Treatise on Bureaucracy.
Anyone having trouble sleeping? This stuff is like 6 Xanax + several hits of Ketamine downed with some GHB. Without the siezures.

- Fisher, Alex. (2001). Critical Thinking: an Introduction.
Now I can be an educated comment troll and make annoying corrections to other people's blog entries.

- Mann, Clarence. (2005). The Development of Management Theory & Practice in the United States.
Now I can learn exactly why that manager was a total asshole.

I suppose I should be reading assigned chapters from the above citations, but I'm afraid reading them will make me fall asleep again, and I already did 12 hours last night. I got a bug of some sort, or seasonal allergies - everyone at work is sick too. I got some good couch lizard time last night and watched new and old shows last night with Gurl:

- Supernatural: 2 cute guys...imagine Scully and Mulder's love child marries Buffy and has two ghost hunter boys who know what they were fighting. Dungeons & Dragons geeks will love all the obscure monster references. Smells of The Night Stalker, which will also premiere this fall on ABC. Don't know if they can beat the charm of Kolchak and low-tech costumes of the originial.

- Invasion: cute scruffy park ranger with perfect hair who just happens to have a completely stocked laboratory which is probably set up to diagnose alien parasites and infections. Umm, yeah, I always had a completely stocked lab when I was a park ranger too. More questions, no answers, I'm over that. Created by Shaun Cassidy, interestingly enough.

- Charmed: is still on the air!!! I may have to watch it simply due to its longevity, bitchy cast members and hottie cameos.

- Smallville: I haven't been a dutiful geek and watched it as much as I should. It's always good when I stop in to watch. This season Clark finally gets his Fortress of Solitude, and Lex Luthor finally becomes a nemesis. Daddy Kent is still hot, sporting scruff in nearly every episode.

- Lost premiere: yeah, you bitches better cough up some answers this season, or it's over between us. At least we know what's in the hatch: Jack's 'roided out rugby playing ex-boyfriend Duncan! Hurley still has the best lines. HURLEY RULES!!!

Posted by jimbo at 3:01 PM | Comments (7)

September 14, 2005

fists, film festival

Here is my level 17 magic tanker displaying the latest rage in supergroup fashion - the official outfit and logo (fashion design by Rad Jacket Sean) for the supergroup Crucible:

Crucible, founded by fellow tanker Bad Daddy, caters "to the more rugged, man-on-man set." While the fist motif isn't quite right, I love the overall scheme.

Ohmigawd! Serve up a cup of ambition and re-live the antics of Judy Bernly, Violet Newstead, and Doralee Rhodes at the D.C. Labor Filmfest this weekend, organized and presented by the Metropolitan Washingon Council of the AFL-CIO, the Jones-Douglass Institute and the American Film Institute. My favorite film featured is 9 to 5 which will be screened on Saturday night at 7, with a live appearance by Jane Fonda!

Posted by jimbo at 8:23 PM | Comments (3)

September 12, 2005

Apollo's Belt indeed

These screencaps, courtesy of Bentblog, really don't do Friday's barracks scene from Battlestar Galactica much justice. Try and catch the episode if you can, but here's the best sample of Jamie Bamber (Bam-Bam) who plays Apollo on the show:

And really, if you aren't watching BSG these days, what's your problem? All woofy/hottie comments aside, it's the best writing and acting on television these days.

Posted by jimbo at 9:36 AM | Comments (19)

August 23, 2005

GynoForce

Psister Shade invites all angry female superheroes to join GynoForce!

Posted by jimbo at 1:05 AM | Comments (2)

August 15, 2005

smoogy-poogums a boo-boo I wuv ooo!

I'm not pointing fingers at any one person in our D&D group that's guilty of this (there are several), but when a person's significant other just cannot bear to not hear his/her partner's voice for more than two hours at a time, the rest of us have come to a fun and creative solution for such interruptions. When a cell phone rings during the middle of play, and it's a person's partner who has to whisper sweet nothings or ask vital questions like what's for dinner, the rest of us speak up in a loud chorus saying: "SMOOGIE POOGUMS OOOKIE BOO-BOO!!! I WUV OOOOO!!! OOODJIE BOO BOO SMOOKUMS POOGUMS 'mwa!' 'mwa!' HUGGINS LUVVEY DUVVEY MOOKINS A BOO BOO!!!"

And so on. If the callers can even hear each other on the line, it is hoped that the cacophony will end the call quickly. Except last night it was the person's coworker who called. Oh well.

In other geek action, Gurl like was trying to walk and talk at the same time and tripped on the miniatures case and kobold and dire rat and gnoll miniatures went FLYING all over the house. Thank god none of them were being prepped for judging at the next gaming convention!

Posted by jimbo at 1:00 PM | Comments (2)

August 11, 2005

man dies from video game-related exhaustion

Korean man dies from exhaustion after 50-hour video game marathon. That's probably how I'm going to die too.

Yee-Haw! Nickel Creek will be playing at the 9:30 Club on October 9th. I've liked them for a while now. I will be going, with or without you.

The bad thing about associating a certain musical group, song, or album with a person with whom you've had a relationship with, is that if things go poorly with the person the emotions regarding that person also transfer to the song or group. This is why life soundtracks are bad. I'm currently having a bittersweet relationship with Nickel Creek. I only just patched things up with Chris Isaak, and that was from a breakup 8 years ago. I still hate Cher, especially when she sings that "Believe" song. Oh yeah, and that bitch Enrique Iglesias, that nasty drama queen. Hate Her.

I have had quite the delayed jonesing effect for the Hunky Leprechaun lately. They day we parted I was very dry-eyed, and a bit worried about that. But my old reliable delay effect from disasters kicked in a few weeks later. Even after 9/11 I didn't freak out until about 3 or 4 days later. In this case it was 2 weeks, where I find myself lately thinking phantom thoughts like "Oh, he would like this," or "We should do this together," and I am having a strong need to hold him again. Then I have to check myself that I won't and we aren't. It is good that rugby has started up again, where I'll have 15-30 surrogate boyfriends at the same time.

In accordance with writing about my butt all week, I want to share that I'm happy to have discovered an ad for this place in this morning's Metro Express. I've made an appointment for a consultation. I spoke too soon about not having a problem this year. Then it got hot and things got uncomfortable.

Last night I met up with Miss In Shaw at ETETE Ethiopian Cuisine at 9th and U for an In Shaw / U Street blogger summit. The tibs were a little overtoasted, but the chat was good.

Note to coworkers: my closed door is not some kind of unspoken message that I am lonely. I do not pine for your company. Closed door means closed door - and that I might possibly be working on something, say, the newsletter for our department that was due last March? One slip up and it'll have a typo, misaligned header, or other fuckup because you had to stop my my open door and scream down the hall. Go. Away. I am working.

Posted by jimbo at 11:17 AM | Comments (11)

July 29, 2005

Ohmigawd I just had a conversation with Richard Hatch from BSG

Please don't mistake the look on my face in this picture for boredom. I'm still a bit sleepy from the time adjustment, and at the time that picture was taken I was well on my way to being a little drunk. Yesterday I met up with Ken and Chris and with Gurl in tow, we went to a fun art opening for a counting book, and then off to Vancouver's finest drag bar, where a person of questionable lineage was doing her best Macy Gray impersonation.

Gurl: "Hmm...do you think she is First Nation or Latino?"
Jimbo: "Well if she's First Nation we'll have to call her Macy Gray Wolf."

It was good to meet Ken and Chris, but a bummer they can't hang out for the festivities for having to go to Europe.

Today I went to GateCon, which was a sci-fi convention for fans of Battlestar Galactica and Stargate. I began my descent into geek-related shock after walking into the lobby and immediately seeing Robert Picardo (Doctor from ST: Voyager) AND Battlestar Galactica's Richard Hatch, with whom I had a conversation with later on about his character and the new series' writing. I even said hi to Dirk Benedict, and got the autographs of the women who played Lursa and B'etor (sp?) the Klingon girls that gave Picard a hard time. We also saw Steve Bacic who is TOTALLY HOT in real life. I gained 2 levels of geek just from going to the convention and seeing all the actors.

Posted by jimbo at 8:38 PM | Comments (10)

July 26, 2005

virtual fag hag

I made Gurl ("System Lord") and Hotti Princess dance for the photo. Note: my character Geardagh (right) has his hands above his shoulders, which makes him totally gay. Chrisafer points out that even in virtual reality, Gurl and I managed to find a fag hag to dance with.

Posted by jimbo at 12:15 AM | Comments (12)

July 18, 2005

City of Heroes

When I should have been rehearsing what I'll be reading tomorrow at the WYSIWYG Show, I had a friend come over and soup up my PC with a better video card and more memory so I could finally play City of Heroes. Naturally, I had to make a HOT superhero who is a Magic Tanker named Geardagh who wades into battle with his Stone Fists and then poses after he defeats the bad guys. Got my butt kicked a lot too, but oh well. See you on the Virtue server?

Tomorrow's show:
Greetings from Lake WYSIWYG: Summer Camp Stories
Tuesday, July 19, at 7:30 p.m. at
Performance Space 122
150 1st Ave. at East 9th St.
Tickets: $7

I'll be sharing my tales as a Lutheran bible camp naturalist raising awareness in the "Creation Center," chainsaw mishaps, boiling deer skulls, adventures in composting, and my short stint as an actual counselor and the resultant temper tantrum.

The WYSIWYG Talent Show, the first-ever all-blogger series of readings and performances, brings you a celebration of mosquito bites, bunk beds, toasted marshmallows, and makeout sessions behind the dining hall with “Greetings from Lake WYSIWYG: Summer Camp Stories”!

Posted by jimbo at 9:57 PM | Comments (8)

May 19, 2005

Star Wars Meltdowns

Hoo boy am I a wreck today. Got home from the Midnight screening of Revenge of the Sith at about 3:30am, final exam for Persuasion class at 10:30am. I am now done with that class. It was a good class, but probably the most time-consuming undergraduate course I've ever taken.

Anyway, last night I witnessed not one, but TWO Star Wars opening night geek meltdowns. What I mean is perhaps the anticipation of opening night is too much for some people with minimal social contact. At Phantom Menace, I witnessed an adult male have a red-faced, foot-stomping tantrum while awaiting to be seated. I think these people get so worked up about it that they just lose it. So last night one geek had a meltdown right in front of me. Granted, it was about the woman cutting into the concession stand line, but jeez. Then in the theatre proper a woman was behaving badly and belligerent. I didn't witness the whole thing, but apparently her boyfriend was totally embarassed and she had to be escorted out by security. Wow, calm down, people.

STOP READING HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET SPOILED:

The movie was the best of the last three, but not better than the first Star Wars: a New Beginning. However, it had THE BEST space battles and choreographed lightsaber duels EVER. Sit towards the back of the theatre to fully appreciate these scenes as the duels are almost beautiful and artistic. Also, the illustration of Anakin's descent to evil was believeable and logical, especially from his point of view. It wasn't just this overnight, "BWA HA HAA! I'm EVIL!" thing, it took some time and a lot of consideration, and he did it for a reason. Then it was too late - he first becomes a monster in mind, soul, and then body, especially after he literally gets his ass served by Obi-Wan. I knew he got in a bad accident that required the black mask and suit, but I didn't know it was due to getting his ass kicked by his former sensei. Surprisingly gripping was the scene where Vader is first masked. Powerful wow, and pitiful too. You really end up feeling sad for Anakin/Vader all over again.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but were there some parallels between Palpatine's consolidation of power and his speeches to the Senate to that of W's and the Republican party, or am I just a paranoid Libertarian? Watch and listen carefully to the rhetoric in those Senate scenes and let me know if you agree, or am I reading too much into the film? It seemed like sometimes Chancellor Palpatine's speeches were stolen right from the Presidential podium.

Also, how does George Lucas take perfectly able actors and acresses and make them look so awful!? Frikkin' YODA had a better performance than the live action humans. But that was to be expected.

Regarding this blog's recent redesign: it will remain a Shrine To Kylie until she gets better, or until I get bored with the design. We know our Aussie Pixies are a tough breed. Livvy got through it, and we know you can too. xxoo.

Posted by jimbo at 1:58 PM | Comments (5)

May 16, 2005

gay sci-fi geek's wet dream photo

Just found this photo, which is a gay scruff-loving sci-fi fan's wet dream - Ben Browder and Michael Shanks together, w. Mr. Shanks sporting a beard. WOOOF! The pic is from the upcoming season of Stargate SG-1.

Attention LiveJournal and Blogger.com bloggers: please be aware that the blogosphere does not consist entirely of Blogger and LiveJournal bloggers who can comment freely in your comments section. In fact, back inna day, most of them were not. I'm sick of being asked to register for Blogger.whatever.com just to make comments, and seeing Livejournal comment areas restricted to Livejournal users. Doing this is missing the point of blogging, which I percieve as a 2-way revolutionary media form.

Anyway, when you restrict your comments area to only those using the same system that you're on, you create blogstipation, and a bit of elitism at that. Granted, we can all do what we want with our comments system, but having mine completely open has not been much of a problem. People have mostly been civil.

I am going to Vancouver in late July! I'll be meetin' up with Kenn and his partner for din-din, perhaps attending GateCon 2005 (ohmigawd MICHAEL SHANKS!!! EEEE! Ooops, looks like he won't be showing up, but Tahmoh Penikett is a suitable consolation - looks like there'll be a lot of BSG stars there ) and Vancouver Pride featuring the beefed-out former Broadway gurl turned Neo-Village Person Scott Bolton!

Speaking of gay travel, there was a remarkably large piece in Sunday's Travel section of the Post about Ft. Lauderdale as a gay mecca. Kind of surprising in this day and age, but a welcome ray of light and recognition that sort of said, "Yes, gays travel and are people to be represented on occasion as travelling functioning humans in the Post like heteronormative families." Or something like that.

I was just thinking yesterday how nice it would be if all these rabid people that call themselves "Christians" would spend their time fixing actual social ills like hunger, poverty and illiteracy instead of thier fruitless efforts on putting down gays, how much nicer this world could be.

Midnight screening of Revenge of the Sith on Wednesday ("MWAAARRRGGGGH!!!"), final exam for The Class That Absorbs All Time And Space the next day. That's gonna suck.

Tuesday the 17th is Syttende Mai, Norway's day of independence from the evil Danes. Down with the Danes. If you suspect you might have even a little Norwegian heritage in you, eat some pickled herring and get a little drunk, but not too drunk. Norwegians don't get wasted, just a little tipsy.

Posted by jimbo at 10:45 AM | Comments (10)

April 13, 2005

buttfucked by gayzilla

From Something Awful:

What's bizarre is that I distinctly remember checking out that book in middle school, and loved the book a lot. I think the original title was "Revenge of the Rainbow Dragons" or something like that. The book clearly turned me into a gay Dungeons and Dragons player.

Posted by jimbo at 12:51 PM | Comments (8)

March 24, 2005

back to mordor

I arrived back in Mordor last night on the backs of eagles. The skies are cold, greasy and dark, as opposed to the sunny fields of Gondor. The wicked Red Eye Orcs are on the move again, gathered reverently around the Crack of Doom as Sauron watches over them with his cruel, unflinching eye.

Sometimes Gurl compares DC to Menzoberranzan, the city of the drow elves in the Forgotten Realms campaign setting. Menzoberranzan is a city of evil, a cruel environment full of deceit and treachery populated by the drow (commonly known as the "dark elves") who are ruthless, and forever plotting against one another.

Come spring, you could also say that DC is the realm of Zuggtmoy, demoness lady of fungi from the Greyhawk setting, who brings mold, sickness and phlegm to the people. Her time is coming soon.

Can you tell I have post-vacation blues? And clearly it's time to play D&D again.

I did have a nice vacation though. I just talked to a friend on the phone about Tucscon, and he said it was, "the ugliest town I'd ever been to." Perhaps I was seeing things through rose-tinted lenses, and Homer did mention that it was the greenest he's ever seen it, but I didn't think it was so bad. I liked the suguaro and the palm trees, and my rashy hands completely returned to normal human hands due to the healing climate. And of course new meat in a smaller town is always popular, which is good for the ego, and I certainly needed a boost.

Gurl also returned to DC from Florida, and we both compared similar instances at the airport regarding local gay DC boys who will not acknowledge the presence of another gay person, because that of course would mean you're hitting on the other, which of course would be loss of face, a diplomatic faux pas. It was very refreshing to have people come up to me in Tucson and be friendly and talk and openly flirt with no pretense or veils of one sort or another. Here, if you talk to someone in a friendly and open manner, the immediate assumption is that you want to marry them, when in fact you're (at least me) simply being friendly.

Posted by jimbo at 10:59 AM | Comments (3)

March 10, 2005

Surge of Power - March 18 @ DCJCC

Surge of Power: The Stuff of Heroes is a campy action-adventure story of an original comic book superhero. It pays tribute and homage to many films, television programs, and comic books in the science-fiction and fantasy genres. And also an all-new high for low-budget camp! And like ohmigawd! it features Lou Ferrigno from The Incredible Hulk and Nichelle Nichols from the original Star Trek!!!

Surge of Power will play Friday, March 18 at 7 & 9pm at the DC Jewish Community Center at 16th & Q St., NW DC. The film is presented by One In Ten's Reel Affirmations film series. (Like, my roomate does all kinds of stuff for them).

No more City of Heroes online gaming for this gay director/actor (who will be appearing at the screening, in costume, fyi):

Movie Poster:

And I don't know who this queen (Bobby Trendy) is, but she's in the film and I already think I love her:

Posted by jimbo at 10:08 AM | Comments (12)

January 31, 2005

the goa'uld must be fed

Bzzlamphmlah. Saturday afternoon's coffee was drunk too late, and I got very little sleep Saturday night. Then last night the prednisone kept me awake with a racing heart again. Apparently prednisone does not mix with gin very well either, because on Friday night's Battlestar Gurlactica night my face was flushing beet red according to others. Flashes of heat race across my skin at random times. And I'm sooo hungry like I have small family of tapeworms or a colony of goa'uld larva living in my gullet that must be fed every two hours. It's all I can do to keep my stomach full, but at least the skin on my hands is getting better. I'm almost done with the prescriptions soon though.

Speaking of tyrranic parasites and such things, Friday night's Battlestar Galactica was just awesome yet again. Seriously, this is the best written and acted sci fi show I've ever seen. The spaceships and Cylons are merely secondary, the rest is PURE DRAMA, well acted out by hunky men and President Stands With A Fist no less! We love her.

The Stargate SG-1 episode featuring Claudia Black not so much. It was like one of the director's 12 year-old kids was allowed to write and direct a poorly executed attempt at depicting sexual frustration between Daniel Jackson and Claudia Black's character. Retarded acting, and the characters weren't even in character. Let's hope they get it together soon because it is becoming obvious that's it's season 9 already.

Had a nice big dinner to feed the goa'uld family with Gurl last night at the International House of Husbands, chock full of hunkies as usual. It's a nice place to eat with good food despite their smarmy ad campaign you may see on the inside cover spread of the Washington Blade a lot lately ("Hi, we're hot and we eat here..."). Anyhow, Gurl had to point out over dinner what a big giant gay geek she is by saying she wished she was a goa'uld parasite so she could infest Jamie Bamber's body and masturbate all day. Mmmmkay.

All my blood delivering nutrients to my own internal demons, I was cold and decided to take the bus home down Florida and U Street after the meal and company. A crazy person (person of mania, for all you PC folk out there....) got on board wielding a transistor radio, which he attempted to speak through to some other party. I had to wonder: what would crazy street people do without transistor radios? Where would the transistor radio industry be without crazy people?

Woofy blogger of note: RJ is one hot fox of a man. And he's smart and all that too.

Posted by jimbo at 10:38 AM | Comments (6)

January 21, 2005

how to give a gay former band geek a stiffy

...have a hot photo of yourself on bigmusclebears.com posing shirtless with your french horn. Lordy! If it were a contra bass it woulda been even hotter!

Posted by jimbo at 3:32 PM | Comments (9)

January 10, 2005

brechi's blog is haunted

OK, I'm sure Brechi is really nice and he sounds like a cool blogger and all that, but his blog is haunted. There's this picture of him on one of his entries where he's in a bar and there's a cloud of smoke from some smoker next to him. And THE CLOUD IS SHAPED LIKE AN EVIL SPIRIT WITH IT'S MOUTH OPEN IN AN ETERNAL TORTURED 'OHHHH!' OF WORDLESS AGONY! Meanwhile, Brechi is just sitting there mugging for the camera, completely unaware that the Powers of Darkness are drifting right towards him. Frikkin' creepy-ass picture (not of Brechi, the evil smoke spirit) - go check it out.

My dental appointment and cavity drilling only took a half hour. My how the technology has changed since I got drilled 20 years ago! They no longer use a brontosaurus-sized drill that sounds like, well, a giant drill in your head. They use a tiny, spine-chilling drill instead. And they now don't use the silver stuff, but white-colored stuff to cap your tooth, and then they harden it with a nifty laser light. Cool, but still no fun. I then spent the rest of my day doing chores downtown and a very good workout, after lunch with Chrisafer and Gurl of course.

Excitement is building in intensity for Friday's geekfest, and it's only Monday! One unnamed uber-geek confessed to me as being, "Increasingly excited for Friday's show," and that he/she was, "Most intrigued by Cylon intelligence and networking." The geeks are quaking in their boots, lemme tell ya. Speaking of mega-geeks, we had some nice chili and gaming at Dax and Taz' place Sunday afternoon.

If that was the quote of the week, then the sighting of the week was this wee child I spotted when I was coming out of the dentist's office this morning. Said child was rummaging around in Farragut Square, his negligent tourist parents photographing the statue of Commander Whatever Farragut. The kid was maybe 2 years old at best, able to arrange some strange green stones in a line in the flower bed that he was tromping all over. Upon closer inspection, I saw that the child was arranging TOTALLY GREEN MOLDY BAGELS that someone had left out "for the birds" and the birds clearly said "Hell no!" to them. They provided some entertainment for the child, who should be immune to bacterial infections for the next month or so.

Now if I was a parent, my 2 year old would not be able to touch anything on the ground in The District. In fact, I would keep my child on a levitating disc (5' radius) of invisible force that hovered 2' to 4' above ground level. 200 experience points to the geek who catches that reference. NO PEEKING IN YOUR PLAYER'S HANDBOOK!

Posted by jimbo at 3:36 AM | Comments (8)

January 7, 2005

superstud sci-fi friday in one week!

In just one week there will be no reason to socialize on any given Friday, other than to venture out of the house for food and drink. SuperStud Sci-Fi Friday will begin. In one week the series premiere of Battlestar Galactica will start, featuring strawberry blond former rugby playin' stud Jamie Bamber. Then a week later new episodes of Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis begin. SG-1 will feature the return of hunky Ben Browder and his former Farscape co-star babe Claudia Black. We also love Joe Flanigan of Stargate: Atlantis.

Steve raises an interesting thought or two in his entry about overtime slavery. At epidemic proportions in Washington, DC, the concept of "working late" shows that you're one of those hard working guys in the downtown and VA suburb areas. I frequently see sad, tired faces trudging home between 8 and 9pm when I'm on my way out of the gym. I don't buy that lifestyle, or the limited reasoning behind it at all. And it isn't this way in other parts of the country either.

In one case, a "hard working" lawyer I know who usually works until 8pm at least is always "billing hours" at his firm, which involves A.D.D. instant messaging me during those critical late hours. I know he isn't doing shit there, but is probably there because his other coworkers are there. Presence for pretense, which is anathema to me. In another case at a past job, one coworker would be spending his overtime arguing with his wife on the phone, ironically about not being home with her. Most of the day he's also got his elbow resting on the edge of the cubicle, chatting about all his hard work that's done around the place. I'm guessing in a lot of cases, overtime work is actually avoidance of things at home. That's sad, especially when it creates an atmosphere that pressures the other coworkers (who have a life) into working late too.

I believe you can get your work done in the standard 8-hour workday. Anytime over that you are probably tired and unproductive anyway. When I'm focused, I can even do it in less than 8 hours. Sure, I'll have website redesign or newsletter projects due that require I work late and in a quiet, after-hours atmosphere so I can think. If the work needs to get finished and I'm in a productive design groove I'm happy to stay late. I could also count my class and grad school work as overtime too. But for the most part, Real Life (rugby, friends, CivIII, sleep, eating) calls, and your cubicle is a prison and only a thing that allows you to pay the bills. With the job I'm currently in, I deliberately searched for a workplace that values personal time and life over a pretense of hard work. Here they frown upon those who stay late, and I love it. One woman leaves precisely at 4:30pm every day, and will linger only in the event of an emergency. You can find such places, they are out there, I can attest for it. By and large, the people in such environments are far happer, and more complete, than those slaves to the pretense of hard work.

But I noticed they fart a lot here too...maybe there's a connection between good bowel movement and lifestyle choice?

Posted by jimbo at 10:50 AM | Comments (10)

December 22, 2004

busted!

Danggit...some meddling kid was gossiping around town and did the he said she said thing regarding an entry I wrote a while back about a particularly dreamy scruffy neighbor of mine. I shouldn't be surprised, as this has happened before - DC is a small town. I usually try not to name names but this one slipped. So said dreamy neighbor called me last night to confirm the gossip. Now, I didn't write that entry to get a phone call from said dreamy neighbor, but hey, what the hell. I only write the truth, or my perception thereof. >; )

I visited the Shaw EcoVillage office to do some volunteer web work at my friend Travis' suggesion. Boy oh boy does that site need help. They designed and maintain it with Microsoft Publisher - that's all I need to say about that. MICROSOFT PRODUCTS ARE NEVER, EVER A SOLUTION FOR WEB SITE MAINTENANCE OR DESIGN! The code was unintelligible, wieldy garbage, and the PR person there was paralyzed from doing anything practical with the site with such a crappy tool. But she has been supplied with Macromedia Dreamweaver MX thank CSS, and I'll be teaching her how to use it. The FTP and site manager is already set up...all I gotta do is finish up the page template redesigns and she'll be an Independent Woman.

And aww gee thanks everybody for offering or sending stuff...the Holiday Wish List was really just for Mom and local friends to get an idea or two, but if y'all insist on shipping stuff from the 4 corners of this God-Fearing Country go right ahead. Multiple xxoo's to Torgonus, joebsf and super-hot Steve from SF. Steve, imagine the two of us at Lake Tahoe, the water sparkling off the reflection of the full moon, us bundled up in our parkas waxing our snowboards together, stopping for a tender moment to rub noses...

When I got home last night I found that some other fish had released babies into the water. The last time the fecund culprit could have been Large Marge the swordtail. Except this time she was dead, so it couldn't have been her. So the new babies must all be guppies, as Pee Wee, Large Marge's partner, has no one to knock up since Large Marge was found floating dead on the surface last week. She was three years old, which is ancient for a swordtail. May she rest in peace. Anyway, it is obvious Gary Evangelista, the male guppy, has been a busy boy with his trio of guppie bitches Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle. I'm glad someone is getting some action in my bedroom. Other members of my aquatic sex club include Hoover the algae eater and Mr. Snuffles the corydora catfish.

Posted by jimbo at 8:54 AM | Comments (3)

December 21, 2004

never trust blind cross-dressing geisha

I went to see House of Flying Daggers last night with my buddy Shane. The fighting and visuals were cool but the romantic and plot twists just went on and on and on...but you must always remember that in the wuxia* genre you should never trust a.) anyone who is blind; b.) gorgeous geisha; c.) cross-dressers. All of them are double-dealing ninja.

* Wuxia as a storytelling genre draws from Chinese mythology and the more esoteric aspects of martial arts. It usually chronicles the exploits of heroic knights who fight to uphold justice in a mythical realm where powerful clans of heroes and villains dominate society and vie for control of the "martial world." Common elements to these stories include swordplay, flying, magic, weapons infused with special properties, and elaborate lairs or traps.

(In other words, wuxia is a Chinese version of Dungeons and Dragons. That's hot.)

This is about the right square footage for an affordable home in The District for a person with an income like mine.

OK, who genetically engineered the perfect man for jimbo? I thank you for it. Jeezus H. Crimeny Jiggers that guy is hot.

Posted by jimbo at 9:30 AM | Comments (10)

December 16, 2004

ben browder is back

Paladin of the Order of the Silver Sluts.

In Other Geek News:
SCI FI Channel confirmed that super-dreamy Farscape star Ben Browder will join the cast of SCI FI's original series Stargate SG-1. Browder will join the cast in the show's upcoming ninth season; no information on Browder's role was available. Meanwhile, the show's producer, MGM, is still working on a deal to bring back SG-1 star Richard Dean Anderson (Gen. O'Neill) in some capacity.

SG-1 will air the remaining new eighth-season episodes, starting Jan. 21, 2005, in a new Friday 8 p.m. ET/PT timeslot, followed by the new episodes of Stargate Atlantis at 9 p.m. and the new original series Battlestar Galactica at 10 p.m.

GEEK PARTY AT GURL'S HOUSE EVERY FRIDAY!!! Bring whiskey.

Posted by jimbo at 2:25 PM | Comments (8)

December 10, 2004

blade III

If you are going to ressurect Dracula for the 2,491st time in movie history, please make him scary. Sure, Dominic Purcell as Dracula was a super-hottie rivaling Ryan Reynolds' hotness in the movie, but as the bad guy his hotness in human form overshadowed his scariness. Again, all vampires dress very well and have lots of good property and excellent taste in decor. What is it with the undead and style?

I thought the storyline was just kinda blah, even for an action film. I felt like the only things saving the movie were Reynold's wisecracks (a riot every time), Parker Posey's continual sneer, the vampire pomeranian, and a few new cool vampire hunting weapons such as the UV vampire cutter. Oh, Dracula kicking the asses of the goth vampire wannabes was good. But Blade II was a lot better.

I'm excited to see my hometown friends Trav and Ann next week. Travis is in town from Madison for a conference, and Ann lives in the area wanted to get together and chat, so we're all meeting somewhere around P Street. No, I will not take them to Omega. This must be the month to renew old friendships, as I met up with an old college class/dorm mate last week to catch up too. I guess it's a good thing as a rather alarming number of current DC friends have been A.W.O.L. of late. Is this cell phone on? I guess it is worthwhile to maintain friendships as it is very pleasant to catch up with old friends.

Posted by jimbo at 10:54 AM | Comments (2)

November 19, 2004

my new car

I am a total blog entry spaz today. Go check out this car ad (I bloghumped mighty jimbo's entry today). Entertaining and ass-kicking CGI. Perhaps it's time for a CGI/live action Transformers Movie? Oh please, you powers in Hollywood, it would make my decade if you did that. That would be so incredibly cool.

UPDATE: Yes, it would be totally cool, as in a CGI Transformers movie is in the works.

And this guy has already worked on a VW/Bumblebee Transformer.

Posted by jimbo at 10:58 AM | Comments (8)

November 11, 2004

frikkin' cool ass graphics

Wow...our world may be going to hell in a handbasket, but at least we got good graphics. Check out this trailer for the World of Warcraft computer game. It was so unbelieveably cool I got shivers just watching it. We've come a long way from Bard's Tale on the Commodore 64.

OK people, when yer commenting, just hit the 'Send' button ONCE. One time. Not twice, nor three times. I know you may be getting errors, or it seems to take forever to send, or it doesn't seem like it's been sent, but it's been sent, OK? So just click 'send' and wait, or move on, cuz it's been sent, believe me. I've been cleaning up multiple comments for months, and I know it's from schitzo mouse-clickers like yerself. Patience, hyper instant-gratification people. Just send and have faith, cuz it got there, mmmkay?

Nothing says "I'm an uptight prick!" like a bowtie. Why do Republicans feel the need to express this trait through fashion? One would think it's obvious without the use of cultural symbols like bowties. A bowtie just warms us up to the fact that you're a prick. I suppose that's the point then - a bowtie is an early warning accessory for prickishness.

This group uses the f-word more times, and far more eloquently than I possibly could.

Posted by jimbo at 10:10 AM | Comments (10)

November 1, 2004

i am beautiful, in every single way

We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down oh no
So don't bring me down today...

Posted by jimbo at 4:03 PM | Comments (4)

October 18, 2004

Happy 30th, D&D

First off....Scott Bolton: woofy leather dude vocalist from Vancouver with a hot biker handlebar 'stache. Mmmm...I'm a fan. Catchy tunes too!

Apparently everyone but me got the press release about the D&D 30th Anniversary this weekend. Regardless, the geek gang honored the anniversary in style with lots of cookies and carbs and cola and very little actual gaming. It's not about the fantasy role-playing, stupid. Can you hand me my chainmail brassiere, please?

I can barely remember playing my first character, a pre-generated Dragonlance character for the initial modules that inspired the books, back when I was a freshmen in high school in like 1985. I think I played Riverwind, Goldmoon's husband. The first character I created was a 1/2 elf druid of Ehlonna. Before that, me and a friend would play the self-guided Tunnels and Trolls game as well. After that, I became a DM due to my awesome facilitating skills. OLD SKOOL baby, OLD SKOOL.

After D&D a few of us hung out to watch the follow-up show from the FarScape series: The Peacekeeper Wars. We love Farscape for the muppets, the awesome makeup, the great writing, and for Ben Browder, the HOTTEST leading stud of any sci-fi series to date. Tonight will be part II of the Peaceeeper Wars.

Uh oh! Hot guys on TV scheduling conflict tonight! The Nuts for Mutts competition will be on Animal Planet at 8, featuring Survivor's Colby Donaldson as a judge. Woof.

Posted by jimbo at 9:49 AM | Comments (6)

October 7, 2004

why we love dykes with big guns

My on-again off-again flu kicked in yesterday at work, so I went home early to sleep. A while back a friend of mine loaned me a videotape of Starship Troopers II: Hero of the Federation, so I finally had the time to get around to watching it. Somewhat true to the original, sans the hot coed shower scene, but fun for a sick night with a pint of ice cream. Anyhow, I noticed another action movie constant, which seems to have become Hollywood law. In Starship Troopers II, the cigar-smoking dykeish character gets infected by bugs in the film, but before her mind is taken over completely, she takes down a few other bugs and then kills herself before she is overtaken too.

In sci-fi action films, the tough, butch, dyke-ish chicks with guns shall always die heroically in a blaze of glory.

You saw it with Vasquez in Aliens, and with the woman who took out the big robot tunnelling thingy with her cannon in Matrix: Revolutions. Why is this always the case? I have no idea, other than perhaps we secretly put a lot of faith in our bulldykes to cover our backs in times of crisis.

So I went to the doctor today to see what was up, and he said it was probably a malingering re-infection of a cold virus or bacteria. I got some good crack in case it was bacterial, and he also prescribed plenty of fluids and sleep, so I will.

Posted by jimbo at 3:17 PM | Comments (10)

August 24, 2004

robin all grown up

Thanks to my buddy Andrew for catching this one - a low-budget live action fanfilm entitled Grayson, about a corrupt Gotham City 20 years after the golden age of heroes. Batman is dead, and a woofy, built and scrumptuous Dick Grayson comes out of retirement as Robin to right the wrongs. It even looks like Superman and Wonder Woman are slaves to Tha Man. I'm not sure if it's going to be a real short film or if it's just a hyped trailer, but it looks pretty darn good for low budget.

Tonight I paid off the last bit of my debt that has been riding my back since I moved to DC seven years ago. It feels real good.

Posted by jimbo at 8:56 AM | Comments (9)

August 16, 2004

aliens vs. predator

I thoroughly enjoyed Alens vs. Predator Sunday afternoon, and while I was leery at first, I was pleased with the computer-generated Aliens. I think this marks the first time we see either the Predators or the Aliens predominantly in CGI mode. It made some of the mobile action shots better, and of course the battles between both sides cooler. I especially found the Matrix-style stop-motion facehugger leaps to be pretty cool. My one gripe about it would be at how fast the Aliens matured from chestburster to adult, like in under an hour or so. I think it took a bit longer than that for Ripley's Alien to mature, but perhaps these were ready-for-battle accelerated-growth versions. The film also featured a nod to Bishop from the 2nd Aliens film, featuring the same actor as the human tech mogul for whom the android was named. And of course there was a hook at the end that could present the scariest Alien yet: a Predator Alien. I've already said too much - go see the movie.

Posted by jimbo at 8:23 AM | Comments (2)

August 11, 2004

harmless geek hassled by security in big apple

This is a rare politics/geek category crossover...yesterday in NYC this blogger was pulled out of line to board his ferry for having this book in his bag. And again he was put under scrutiny today for having this book enclosed in his bag. The security professional deemed his fantasy role-playing supplement book was "inappropriate". His entries on the above incidents can be read here and here.

He wasn't wielding a gun, bomb or a sword. The man got hassled for having role playing books - which were out of sight in his bag mind you. This is just a taste of our future military state One Planet Under Bush. Imagine how it's going to get in NYC when the precious Republicans are there - you look at a cop the wrong way and you get put into jail? Wait and see...I'm guessing more than a few cases are heading to ACLU offices from NYC in the weeks ahead.

I remember chatting with some friends at a party in Kazakstan, where they told me that people who read Lord of the Rings novels were hassled by the police in Soviet times. People who would try to do geeky reenactments (live-action role playing or LARPing) were often put to jail. What people don't understand they will remove from their reality. Kinda like what's happening with queers these days. It all spills over into your back yard in the end.

Posted by jimbo at 3:11 PM | Comments (4)

August 2, 2004

i got somnambulated

Friday was Chrisafer's burfday, a fun affair in the rec room of Larry's Lounge on 18th St., just south of the International House of Husbands. Naturally there were quite a few bloggers there, including Stebbins, half-a-'Hausen, Waremouse, Kia and Joe. Gurl and my soul sistah Mlyzzyl, and it was good to catch up with all of 'em for the week. But my head was stuffed up so I left.

Then the next day was Cell Phone Drama Day. D&D was to be played that afternoon, but one of the playahs had car trouble, and could not make it from Assburn, VA to DC in order to play. So that threatened the minimum geek quorum of 4 playahs. Another playah was bedridden with dramaqueeniosis. Yet another had a cell phone, but is still learning how to use it. And another was completely AWOL, and I wanted to get ahold of him to see if he was actually coming, as he had not answered any e-mails that week, so I call another playah for the other's number who normally has her cell phone fused to her neocortex, who was notably off the cellular network all day and could not be reached. I needed to see if there was a quorum of geeks, so I pretty much was on the phone all afternoon, which made me really, really cranky. It was very frustrating. Plus it interrupted much of my Saturday workout, which ticked me off as well. In the end, we had to cancel gaming, and I turned the damned cellular device off for the rest of the afternoon in disgust. But, during the workout I did manage do do some wobble-board core body squats in preparation for the rugby season.

However, I turned the cell phone on again that evening to make a few vital calls, and forgot to turn it off like I usually do at bedtime. I have this friend who will make phone calls in the middle of the night and have complete conversations with you at 2am or so. In this case it was 4:15am. The next day she will have no recollection of the late night conversation, and will repeat the previous conversation, this time conciously, to the letter. I mentioned his behavior to my mom on the phone the next day, and she said, "Oh, he's a somnambulist!" And I said, "What?" and she said, "Oh, he's a sleepwalker!" You learn something new every day. My Mom does crossword puzzles, and she can down and across you like no one else. Word To My Mother.

The next morning I shaved the beard off. It comes and goes, don't worry. It's too damn hot to have one in the heat of the DC summer, and any bearded woofers in this town seem to have burrowed underground for the summer.

Later I had brunch with said sonambulist, and she got her talkin' to. From now on she'll be turning her cell phone off and hiding it from herself in the drawer overnight. Then I had a nice workout and an ego-boost in the steam room. By then I was not in the mood to metro all the way up to Grosvenor for the previously planned trickdate with the registered Republican who smokes. By then I was more in the mood to kill computer monsters, so no, he didn't get to see my inner light.

The rest of the day I killed computer monsters in the Temple of Elemental Evil. I was very lazy, and didn't do much. My roomate asked me if I was going to clean the bathroom like I should at the end of the month and I simply said, "No." I'll do it tonight.

Then it was out to Taint, which was fun with tons of cute guys but my head was still stuffed up so the loud music was causing pain. The usual characters were there, but I headed home relatively early.

Cyndi Lauper concert tomorrow, followed by the beach this weekend. I won't be blogging from the beach, and only minimal blogging this week. I really, really want to get a rough draft of a work newsletter out this week, so I'll be kicking ass and focusing to get it done.

Posted by jimbo at 10:41 AM | Comments (7)

July 30, 2004

ray dragon

Many mornings on the subway ride to work from DC to College Park, MD, Little Miss Club Creature often deliberately sits directly across from me in the Metrorail car or shuttle from the station to campus, leering at me from behind her trendy sunglasses. I wouldn't mind the attention, except that I'm not returning the interest, and she just won't quit. At this point it's not flirting, it's staring, and it's rude. Oh yeah, and if she's interested, she can simply say 'hello'. A smile would be nice too - so stop the games. I don't bite unless asked.

So this morning she was trying her Sith Lord Mind Control Technique with me again from behind her sunglasses, so I decided to try something. I was eagerly reading my recently acquired copy of the Dungeons and Dragons supplement book Serpent Kingdoms, which features artwork of a Yuan-Ti Anathema on the cover. A Yuan-Ti Anathema is basically an evil intelligent gaint snake monster with horns and arms. Instead of keeping my book resting on my lap, I bring the cover up vertically for all to see. Missy le Cocktailique suddenly moved her piercing gaze elsewhere. Behold, the Power of the Geek.

And finally for Friday: Ray Dragon. Much thanks to Windreader for these. Y'all have a good weekend!

Posted by jimbo at 3:39 AM | Comments (9)

July 18, 2004

gurl gets her geek on

I was Gurlless this weekend, as Brian is off to Vancouver for Gatecon, a big geekfest for Stargate fans. I remembered Kenn lived there too, and since Jimbo Makes The People Come Together, Yeah, I introduced the two and they cocktailed. Turns out Kenn has been secretly doing pre-production 3-D artwork for the new Stargate: Atlantis series, so Gurl was able to socialize with geek royalty who helped create the imagery for Atlantis! I am envious and wish my travel budget was more robust. So Gurl, did you get to pork some hot Jaffa, System Lords or Michael Shanks while you were there? Furry smirkey Major John Sheppard is MINE, fyi.

Jake the kitty being lazy in the unused downstairs sink:

Posted by jimbo at 11:36 AM | Comments (7)

July 8, 2004

hot bearded men with big guns

Awww yeah...not only is the 3rd Blade movie coming out in December (Umm...can you say birthday party, anyone?) but one of the dudes teaming up with Wesley Snipes is a hot bearded ex-vampire played by Ryan Reynolds. Oh, he was in that Van Wilder movie! But now with the beard he's like ten times hotter. He may just bump off Sean William Scott off the top of my list for hot bearded young actors.

The face of the new 17th Street crowd (young, straight, overprivileged, dumb, rich, generally helpless) showed itself again last night when I went grocery shopping at the Soviet Safeway. As usual, many of the new folks need to have their cell phone conversations exclusively in the store. I lock my bike up to the bike rack outside, which is used for a variety of other things such as liesure furniture for the homeless panhandlers, and storage area for the street florist. Last night some yuppie scumbag tied his/her dog up to the bike rack. Not only is leaving your dog unattended asking for trouble in this town (pit bull treats anyone?) but lacing the leash THROUGH MY BRAKE CABLES and tying it to the bike rack is also pretty dumb. I unlaced the leash, removed my bike, petted the cute schnauzer, reattached the leash and went on my way. To Mr. Schnauzer Owner: you are dumb and your dog is smarter than you. In fact he said you were a dumbass when I untangled the leash from my bike.

Speaking of smart dogs and hot bearded men with big guns: Hot Diggity Dawg is in town! It'll be good to see his cute scruffy face and hear his hot understated voice again. Woofy, not quite adorkable...let's just say he's shy hot. Chrisafer and Bob are comin' along for dinner too. I've voted for International House of Husbands, but it may be packed tonight. We'll see.

Posted by jimbo at 10:14 AM | Comments (21)

June 25, 2004

going to the sex club with commander tucker

Pharmacy, how I love thee.
Dispel the pain that's within me.
Skelaxin has me relaxin,
and Vicodin clouds my mind.

I got up this morning and was still walking around like Ozzy after his 5,925th live performance, and now with a quick prescription I feel like him too. The lower back tension seems to be better than last night, but I'm planning on laying around much of the day to give it a rest.

Now I know it's every geek's wet dream to take 7 of 9 to a sex club, but it's not a good idea if you're running for a Senate seat. And all this time I was a huge Voyager fan and I didn't know Jeri Ryan was married to a Republican. But hey, I guess I shouldn't be opposed to drone-on-drone marriage, right?

In other pompous Republican news, "go fuck yourself".

I'm not opposed to the actions in either instance - unless it's by those who throw stones on a regular basis.

Hmm...now that makes me think...what Star Trek character would you take to a sex club to perform public acts? In that one episode of Next Generation where Q turned Wesley Crusher into an adult, now that guy was pretty hot. But I think I'd rather do a threesome with Captain Archer and Commander Tucker instead.

Posted by jimbo at 3:39 PM | Comments (10)

June 2, 2004

that's so gay

All you New York bloggers don't miss the WYSIWYG Talent Show June 22 at 7.30, NYC, NY. The theme of the show is "That's SO Gay: Tales of Extremely Gay Gayness." I'll be recounting the tale of my tragic drag queen roadkill wipeout accident at the 17th Street High Heel Race as Nellie Olsen two years ago. Also performing are my blog mommie and daddy, Kiri and Sparky, so it'll be a family affair! Kiri was the first to tell me "You need a blog," and sparky was my HTML mentor. And I hear the show is also BYOB! Thanks to Chris & Andy for inviting me for the ride.

But I'll have to say I'm a little nervous about performing. While I've given tons of nature programs as a park ranger back in tha day, and tech training courses in more recent years, expect to see me sweat. Performing is different than delivering. I'm already having drenching nightmares of black Prada wearing Gothamites eating me alive.

Posted by jimbo at 9:29 PM | Comments (10)

May 27, 2004

just say no to 'enterprise' & tiny nekkid pics

I was sold on the season finale of 'Enterprise' last night - up until the final 2 minutes. Writers, just say NO to time-related plot twists. Now the crew has to stop aliens in the Third Reich? NO. That's just silly. I am done with Enterprise. Divorce. I really miss Captain Janeway, Tuvok and 7 of 9.

Other things to say No to: really teensy nudie pics sent by guys storing them on a camera phone or handheld device. Men, I want to see HIGH RESOLUTION pics of your bulging furry pecs when you send 'em to me. None of this postage stamp sized crap. No less than 300dpi, no smaller than 300 X 400 pixels, mmmkay? I'm getting old and my vision is failing. I want desktop-sized images!

Posted by jimbo at 2:38 PM | Comments (7)

May 20, 2004

bozhe moi!

So you say you liked what you saw in the last X-Men movie when that hot buff dude changed into organic steel? The character was Colossus, the actor Daniel Cudmore from Vancouver (of course), a former rugby player who had a bit part as a Jaffa in the Stargate series. Here's a shirtless desktopalicious pic Gurl found of him the other day. Ochen cracevaya. Enjoy.

Last night Kari and I dallied long at the International House of Husbands, so I missed the finale of Angel. Did anyone TiVo or tape it? Or when is the next recast of it? How was it? Did Wesley declare his love for Jimbo?

Anyhow, Kari pointed out that she was the only female there amidst a sea of sideburned, lean men. At one point she noted, "They all look like Abercrombie & Fitch models!"

"Yeah, but all at an average age of around 40," I replied.

Of course square-jawed handsome dreamy man was there, talking it up with everyone in the place. 'sigh' He's dreamy. I have vowed to say hello to him the next time I see him.

I have been asked to think about speaking for the next WYSIWYG Talent Show up in NYC. The theme for this one is "That's So Gay: Tales of Extremely Gay Gayness." Apparently my name came up as a potential speaker. I'm that gay? OKfinethen. The problem is I can't think of a tale of extremely gay gayness for the life of me. I can write a witty blog entry every frikkin' day, but when I'm under the gun I get creative constipation. For those of you who know me, throw me some ideas. How I went about hitting on the one gay man I met when I was in Alaska? Me wiping out in the drag race, then getting hit on afterwards? How my coworkers at USDA helped me out in dress selection for the drag race? I'm stumped. Help!

I am so going to the Lantern tonight. I'm all fly from the barbershop, and the honeypot is on fire.

If you people love me, you will get me this glossy from Xanadu for my birthday.

Posted by jimbo at 11:45 PM | Comments (6)

May 19, 2004

good-bye angel

Finale of Angel is tonight on the WB. I am very sad. First Buffy, now this. Now there is nothing worthwhile on TV except for Stargate and maybe Charmed. But now that the series is over, the guy who plays Wesley now has more free time to devote to me.

I've been keeping up on Indian politics lately. They elected another Ghandi to be prime minister, who then stepped down due to questions about her Italian nationality. What fascinates me is the fact that her gender is not an issue. Pakistan and India have both had female prime ministers, as have many other countries in the world. Countries percieved as "less developed" than the U.S., mind you. And yet we are still absolutely terrified of a female president here in America. Mention Hillary Clinton to conservatives and they frikkin' go ape shit. Do not fear the female, America.

I will be seeing my hometown friend Kari tonight. Our little Breakfast Club gang from Holmen High is still fairly tight. Not only am I eager to see her, but I'm eager to just hang out. I haven't hung out for quite a while. Hanging out is different than going out or going dancing. Hanging out is much like chilling out, only slightly less relaxing.

Posted by jimbo at 10:18 AM | Comments (9)

April 29, 2004

save vs. spell, go straight to hell

Woo-Hoo! Got a lot done last night for my side web job, and today I kicked out a shitload of press releases for the website at work, and a significant amount of pages were completed for this newsletter that's been on my back for months now. I feel good. I have accomplished things this week.

In light of getting shit done, I'll keep it short today. Go visit Dark Dungeons, an online archive of a comic strip produced to instill fear in good Christian kids who show an interest in Dungeons and Dragons. At first I thought it was pure camp, as it was hilarious as hell, so to speak. But the comic strip was actually produced to demonstrate the direct delivery of your soul to Satan should you choose to roll that 20-sided dice. Thanks to Nick for the lead.

Damn, dating is expensive and lately, totally fruitless. I think I will step back from that scene to save up for this and that summer trip. Temple of Elemental Evil and the rugby team are my boyfriends these days.

Posted by jimbo at 4:14 PM | Comments (2)

April 13, 2004

straight talk on dungeons and dragons

• we do not dress up like Aragorn or Legolas (much)
• we are not a quasi-pagan or satanic cult (in most cases)
• we bathe often, and we do not wear long diaphanous dresses like Stevie Nicks (a whole lot)
• we are well-adjusted people with vibrant social lives (word)
• we do not go on expeditions into the local sewers

Posted by jimbo at 10:42 AM | Comments (13)

April 11, 2004

happy easter!

Raise Dead
Conjuration (Healing)
Level: Cleric 5
Components: V, S, M, DF
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Dead creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)

You restore life to a dead creature. You can raise a creatre that has been dead for no longer than one day per caster level. In addition, the subject's soul must be free and willing to return. If the subject's soul is not willing to return, the spell does not work; therefore, a subject that wants to return receives no saving throw.

Happy Easter! Today I met up with Todd, Seamus, and Jimmy for some Easter brunch at Annie's. I wore my official Peeps hat and shirt, and Seamus brought a phallic Easter basket to share with everyone. Again, my afternoon is shot from a few too many big gurl bloody marys.

Last night's Blowoff was fun, and a bit more diverse than ususal, like how it was back in tha day on U Street. While I like the alternabear™ contingent that frequents Blowoff with regularity now, it's also good to see an occasional queer punk and and the pretty ones who are taking a break from the JRs scene, which is good to see happen. Super-dreamy man from the gym with the jawline that could cut wood was there, but my big pink heart for him burst when I saw him light up a cig. Total turn off. Well, maybe after a chlorophyll-spearamint mouthwash gargle I could go there. I got to dance for a bit and had some yummy Guiness too.

During the day I got what I needed to get done, washing my new sheets, workout, and some garden clean-up before the rains start next week. Lots of playing Temple of Elemental Evil PC game, which I've had for over a year but am now only just getting around to playing. It's a nearly identical computer adaptation to the old skool Advanced Dungeons and Dragons role playing game from 1985, which I've run with two separate gaming groups. Although it's set in the Greyhawk campaign setting, I may adapt it for our next Forgotten Realms adventure.

In the game, you start out with up to five characters you've created, and can add members you meet along the way. In the pirate town of Nulb, I came across an openly gay D&D character, Bertram the gay pirate! He was one of the pirate bringand mob's cabin boy bitch, whom you can rescue by offering to take the guy off an abusive boyfriend's hands. He's only 1st level though, with pretty wimpy stats, and he's stealing everything when we polish off the bad guys. I had my 1/2 elf bard Connor marry him. My human female monk Arien is now jealous of Connor. The pious cleric Peller wants nothing to do with the drama, and my 1/2 orc sorceress Bubbles thinks it's funny. The 1/2 elf druid Rowan believes it's natural and that we should encourage diversity in the party, because the main issue here is stopping the Temple of Elemental Evil, not stopping a committed relationship. Fantasy mirrors reality, and vice verse.

Posted by jimbo at 3:31 PM | Comments (1)

March 19, 2004

snakehead terror

Watched a wonderful new horror flick last night on the Sci-Fi Channel. Snakehead Terror featured a beer-gutted daddlylicous Bruce Boxleitner (Scarecrow & Mrs. King) as a town sherrif who has to deal with hormone-frenzied snakehead fish, who are not only out for blood, but can crawl on land too. Just like the ones that terrorized Maryland a few years back. From the media's reaction to the real ones, it's no surprise someone wrote a pilot for a sci-fi / horror version featuring a 60' snakehead at its climax.

OK, so what's with all my friends stealing my personae? One lost it at work and dislikes his job, one is channeling my rage, and the other is withdrawing from society. 'Scuse me folks, these mood swings are MY domains! I'm gonna have to charge if you have to continue whining about your job, taking up my mantle of rage, or totally dropping off the radar. Meanwhile, despite a partylicious weekend, I had a fairly rage-free week where I enjoyed most of what I did at work, and even got out to socialize and kept in touch with friends. Go figure. I guess after three years of whining, bitching and raging, it's my turn to be understanding.

Posted by jimbo at 10:21 AM | Comments (4)

January 29, 2004

family portrait

Someone at work gave me two tickets for Friday's Washington Wizards game, and to my horror, I realized I was so deeply immersed in the gay ghetto that I know of no friends of mine who would appreciate going. I don't much care for basketball either, but it would be good to go with someone who does.

Aww...the last time we played D&D, My'ra took a family portrait of our character's miniatures. From left to right: Talon the evil thief/cleric of Mask, Glenndorca ("Bubbles") my 1/2 orc sorceror/barbarian, evil NPC, my blue goblin psion/ranger named "Blue", Kassim the reckless 1/2 elf swashbuckler, Savelle the gold elf paladin of Lathander, and 1/2 elf druid Rowan Deathseeker. The characters are shown trying to pass the Impenetrable Wall of Cheese.

While I won't be playin' rugby this season, there is a Renegades rugby recruitment event on Thursday, February 5 from 6-8:30pm at Whitlow's on Wilson, in Arlington, VA. Free food and beer! I'm thinkin' Ray-Ray needs a new hobby, so I'm seeing if he wants to come.

Posted by jimbo at 10:41 AM | Comments (5)

January 23, 2004

the badlands

The last two nights I dreamt about The Badlands. The Badlands are a frequently vistited psychogeographical feature of my dreamscape located just outside my hometown in Wisconsin. It is adjacent to the Dairy Queen turkey farm, just south of Zak Spears' rustic mountain cabin (I have a timeshare there with Ray Dragon). I think I formed The Badlands when I was a little kid, as I imagined the places outside my hometown that I had never seen as some kind of semi-desert riddled with sandstone canyons, jack pines, arroyos, bandits, vicious wildcats and ostrich farms. Even though Western Wisconsin is a fairly lush, green area of rolling hills and white oak trees, for some reason I percieved everything that I had not yet seen as something similar to Southern California. When all you watch on TV is Little House on the Prairie and Wild, Wild West reruns, why shouldn't you think such things? To get to The Badlands, all you have to do is drive out of town on Long Coulee Road, past the trailer I grew up in, and over the farthest hill. Once you crest the hill you are in The Badlands.

Anyway, in my dreams the past two nights I was driving through the winding desert canyons under a blue sky with puffy clouds in my brown station wagon, keeping my eyes out for and avoiding malicious gay Republican National Committee employees, who are clearly hiding out amongst the wildcats, bandits and ostriches ready to attack at any given moment. I had my sixguns loaded and ready.

Just had to share. More dreams indicate more sleep, so this is a good thing. Busy day today with appointments to get my cornrows redid, and new lenses for my glasses. Perhaps lunch with Mitzhi, and then later on the date with Woofy McScrufferstein. OmigawdwhatamIgonnawear?!?

Random links: elvish name generator and a good reason to join rugby again. My elvish name is Finw� Calaelen, which is cool because Finw� is the name of a great elvish hero of Middle Earth.

Posted by jimbo at 9:05 AM | Comments (5)

January 19, 2004

i want a pet war elephant

Finally went out to see the last LOTR tonight with my friends Jon and Gabriel. While I was hoping it wouldn't be crowded, the line literally went around the block. I assume the production costs for the film are now paid for. Anyway, it was great, but I agree with my friends who said that the hobbits should just kiss and move in together already. Pippin + Merry, Frodo + Samwise, accordingly, and possibly Gimli and Legolas.

Anyhow, we loved the whole Shelob scene. The animation was just incredible. So were the battles, catapult and like I said before I want a War Elephant for Christmas next year. I'll name him Stampy and I'll ride him to work and feed him and hug him and call him George. Lotsa woofy Gondorian warriors too, and me liked Aragorn with the full beard goin' on at the end.

MAL weekend is over. I moderated my intake of woofiness this year, which wasn't hard as my libido is at a remarkable low lately. I attribute that to the bitterly cold weather and work stress. Anyhow, met a guy I'm pretty keen on at the cigar social on Saturday, then at the dance on Sunday. Got to dance with and do some other things there with him too. The funny part is that his online profile uses the same name as one of my AOL profiles, he lives near where I used to live on the Hill, and spent some time in Wisconsin. He's a computer game addict too. We'll see how that goes. Also sat myself down during a disco break and chatted with a furry Daddy type from London, who played rugby for 15 years, but he wasn't too into the jimbo, sadly. Happened to meet the geekslut as well, who was a very nice guy. I mentioned to Mitzhi the perceptions we have of bloggers until we meet them in person, as in what we read versus what we percieve in person. A lot of people picture Mizthi as this wild Eagle gurl, but in person he's rather reserved, and well dressed of course. Sorta like what Jessica Rabbit once said, "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."

Posted by jimbo at 9:58 PM | Comments (4)

January 10, 2004

ancient mummy curse

Millennia ago, Fitz offended one of the ancient Pharaohs by messing around with one of his favored courtiers. The Pharaoh cursed him with eternal life, and never to completely enjoy a performance of any kind without interruption. The curse persists even today...

'Bubba Ho-Tep' was wonderfully ridiculous, but I'll have to agree with Kiri in that there wasn't as much King-Fu performed by Elvis as I had hoped. However, Elvis' character was consistent in his decrepitude. In the end, the adventure truly was about how Elvis was going to stop the evil soul-sucking mummy with what few feeble resources he had at his wrinkled and bejeweled hand. There was also some social commentary about retirement homes as well. Bruce Campbell was present after the screening for a few Q&As, and was a pretty funny guy.

Only a few minutes after the film started, the dang fire alarm went off falsely, and wouldn't turn off for a good 15 minutes or so. The frikkin' strobe light was going to send me into siezures at any moment, so I got up and put my winter cap over the accursed thing, and got a round of applause from the audience. My response, delivered with a rock-n-roll sneer was, "Thank you. Thank you very much."

Posted by jimbo at 1:15 PM | Comments (1)

December 30, 2003

hot 1-on-1 hobbit-on-hobbit action

Are you a big geek? I mean a really big geek? Then check this out. 1-on-1 hobbit-on-hobbit slash-art. 'Slash' is a genre either in graphics or writing where a popular storyline is eroticised, in this case it's the characters from LOTR. My girl My'ra is an accomplished slash fiction writer. I don't get off on slash fiction or graphics in particular, but it's interesting.

Since I'm on the porn art theme, Jocko reminds me about the everfun artwork of Rob Clarke. Tom of Finland vs. Don Bluth, he's a whole lotta fun.

Posted by jimbo at 11:23 AM | Comments (3)

December 29, 2003

i am a total freak

While most of the university is on break, I have to work today and tomorrow as I hadn't observed certain holidays during the year. I am the only one in this office. Guess how much work is getting done today? Actually, quite a lot. I'm going to organize my office once and or all while there are no distractions or Web site postings to do.

Last night history was rewritten during a marathon CivIII: Conquests session as President Montezuma of the Mighty Aztec Democracy invaded Madrid, the Capital of Spain and sent that bitch Isabella running off to a desert isle in the Atlantic. I gave her some smallpox-soaked blankets for warmth as a housewarming gift. I'd be proud except for the fact that I was doing all that until 5am this morning.

Did I mention that there is one guy here at work down the hall from me, and he is a total Civ freak too? Online gaming anyone?

Speaking of freaks, it's time for me to come out of my shell. I've been a total recluse for the past month or so. I think I've been adjusting to the job and hiding from the Spirit of Christmas. After a week of solitude, I think I'm ready to get out and do stuff again. I got free tix to Nation on New Year's! It should be fun, but I'm leery of the crowds. I'll be sure to drive down there as there are always problems getting taxis in DC on that evening.

Oh, but I did come out of my shell on Christmas Eve. Me and Mattie the Christmas Jew went up to Baltimore for a party at a teammate's (Dark Santa in the pic) home. The crowd was mostly the bear type, but the food was good and the cocktails were strong.

Posted by jimbo at 11:44 AM | Comments (1)

December 23, 2003

interesting referrers

 1.    No Referrer    
 2.    umd.edu    
 3.    usnews.com    
 4.    yahoo.com    
 5.    blogspot.com    
 6.    Other 

Posted by jimbo at 10:29 PM | Comments (1)

December 17, 2003

Return of the King

Today is the day...the final installment of the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy! However, I'll only be observing this holiday, as I probably won't be going out to see it until maybe next week. Just too much going on this week to bother about it. The tree you see is Burl's, the Holy Tree of Ultimate Order, plucked from the slopes of Mt. Celestia, the ultimate resting place for the Lawful and Good. As you can see, each ornament is placed exactly 4.5" from each other ornament, to preserve ultimate order.

Tonight I'll be havin' dinner with Mitzhi Jean McWhorigan. We invited Jesus to come make some appetizers, but he probably won't show up. Like everyone these days, he says he's too busy.

As far as I know, I'm still going up to NYC this weekend for a brief visit and some clubbing. Lots of people are quite busy or away that weekend, so I'm a little disappointed that I won't be able to see/meet as many folks as I would have. However, past trips to the Big Apple have shown that time is reduced and condensed there, so maybe that's a good thing. I'll probably be hangin' out with Kiri on Saturday, then off to shake it that night at the Sound Factory. Say hi if you see me!

The Spongebob tee Gurl got me (see hot photo above) a while back sure makes my titties show up nicely. That and the 15 pounds I've gained lately. 5 of that is probably water gain due to creatine, but the other bunch is from working out my legs, which respond wonderfully to any attention I give them. Leg presses help my bootie work it better too. Anyhow, now that I have a job and am not stressing out all the time, I'm also eating more and regularly, which is a good thing.

HA HA! Check out Saddam's Fab 5 makeover on Bubba's blog! I watched the Queer Eye Christmas special last night, followed up by their new video. Fun, but after an hour I was tired of Queer!

Fresh Bush quote from Dan's blog: "If necessary, I will support a constitutional amendment which would honor marriage between a man and a woman, codify that," President Bush reportedly told ABC's Diane Sawyer today.

Unlike Dan, I'm not surprised, but I am highly enraged. To think I was a Bush supporter back in the day. Not that I was anti-Gore, but I was willing to support the guy once he made it into office. Now the fucker wants to legislate my ass into the goddamn dark ages. Once upon a time I was worried I was slipping right-of-center. I just slipped back to the left, and I'm not worried about it in the least. Bush must go. He spends too much, he wants to allow noisy snowmobiles into Yellowstone, and he's got this wierd Iraq fixation. And to all you pro-Bush gay boys out there: you are part of the problem, not part of a solution, and you are supporting a person who would gladly legislate your ass in jail for being queer. Wake up and switch sides.

Posted by jimbo at 10:12 AM | Comments (8)

December 14, 2003

my new computer

As promised, a pic of my new computer. The old one is to the left of it in this picture:

Thanks to all y'all who donated to the cause.

Today I slept in late, played CivIII on this machine, cleaned the aquarium of algae, went on a date, worked out my tits at the gym, then went to yet another rugby-related party. Really, if you ever worry you'll never have a social life, just join a rugby team. There's always something to do.

Posted by jimbo at 12:30 AM | Comments (1)

December 11, 2003

goodbye world

Yesterday I brought my new computer into work to get it souped up with the lovely Macromedia and Creative suites, MS Office, an FTP program, and a bunch of other stuff. I now have full Web and graphic capabilities on my new PC at home.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, CIVILIZATION III: PLAY THE WORLD IS NOW FULLY INSTALLED AS WELL!!! BWA HA HAAAA!

So, I won't be seeing anyone for the next four months or so. I will be busy conquering other cultures. This weekend I'll try to hook up my pornocam, printer and Temple of Elemental Evil as well. Anyhow, the new computer rocks, the animation is smooth and fast, and it's quiet as a mouse. Now for a new chair. My ass is demanding it.

Oh, and I need to say I'm very thankful none of my job interviews in the House or Senate offices in the late summer came up with any results. With the upcoming presidential elections, I find that I'm really generally clueless about a lot of issues, and I find the whole political process rather uninteresting. Yeah, I know I live in DC, and I know it's important, but let's just say I'm happy that other people are in that line of work, not me. I'll just maintain my righteous opinions thank you.

I've been a workout fiend lately...and the legs are really showing results. Ya know we got some disco display requirements in NYC soon, and of course MAL in January. Must work on abs more, and my damn titties never respond to anything!. This morning I noticed some mild vascularity on my shoulders! While I'm not lifting that much more weight, I guess the frequency is helping out. Now all I need to do better is get more sleep, and continue eating as much as possible. It doesn't hurt to be working out in the university fitness center with near-perfect 19 year-old bodies all around me for inspiration.

Speakin' of that, the other evening when I was changing in the locker room at the U, two guys straight out of some Eastern European gay porno movie were changing clothes across from me. After a while I figgered out they were Russian, and Muscovites at that. Their anunciation was clear as a bell to my ears, as I learned a 'dirty'-sounding street form of Russian while I was in Kazakstan. While I've forgotten quite a lot of the language, I was able to pick out a few phrases. They said 'fuck' a lot (fuck this, fuck that, fuck over there) and one guy was talking about his stanky shoes. Of course neither of them had any body fat in typical Russian tradition, and were shredded as hell. Hairless too...Kazakstan was my sexual purgatory. I think I was born after my time...like 10,000 years too late I think. I need to get my cro-mag-non on ya know?

Posted by jimbo at 9:53 AM | Comments (3)

December 4, 2003

her visage

Here's a pic of My'ra. I posted it for no other reason than that the photographer (Gurl) was able to perfectly capture her quintissential nature in this photo. My'ra plays in my D&D group. She likes to play fighters who kick lots of ass. She's also an accomplished Faghag.

I finally broke down and ordered a new PC yesterday...still accepting donations for just being jimbo now, but thanks to you all for the donations. Hey, I didn't get as much as expected but you can't beat a $128 rebate. I will post photos of it when it arrives, but it'll be a Dell OptiPlex GX270 Pentium 4, 2.80GHz, 512 Cache, Intel Gigabit NIC, 512 MB RAM, 333MHz, 64MB video card, 80GB Boot Hard Drive, MS XP Professional, with a CD DVD/RW whatever and all that. No, it's not a fabulous beautiful MAC (I DON'T want to hear about your Mac!), and no, it's not as good as your PC, but it'll play CivIII and allow me to blog.

Friendster still proves to be useful and interesting, even though it's still slow as shit. C'mon...if jimbo can buy a new PC, y'all can get a new server! Anyhow, it allowed me to figure out who that stunningly hot stud was who I was dancing with on Saturday. Nice guy...he even e-mailed me back! DC is a small town sometimes.

Also, some guy named Jim (not Mighty Jimbo) wanted to add me to his Friends list simply because he was collecting Jims for his friend list to be wierd. He was observant enough to somehow figure out (stalkers can be stalked too!) that I was the brother of one of his former coworkers in Portland, Oregon. Then it turns out my brother is on Friendster too! Very small freaky world.

Regarding yesterday's date...it's funny how your perspective is skewed in terms of digital vs. real when you first meet someone you initially met online. Like I was expecting this guy to be huskier and bigger than me, and it turns out he was like an inch shorter, and not all that husky (but still damn nice). I remember when I first started corresponding with my now-ex online, and he said he was furry, but his pics didn't make him look all that furry to me. Turns out he had InvisiFur™, which doesn't show up very well in photos. Most of the time, if I dig someone's pic, the real thing is usually better, like in the case of Bubba. And of course personality never comes though in a .jpg...you just can't beat the real thing when it comes to getting vibes.

Anyhow, off to a meeting. I get to sit next to Chrisafer at a work meeting! Ohmahgawd I get to sit next to the popular kids!!!

Posted by jimbo at 9:49 AM | Comments (3)

November 23, 2003

geeksuality

This afternoon we'll be playing D&D. For the most part we get together every two weeks or so, depending on everyone's schedule. During the summer we tend to play less, and moreso in the winter. One of our infrequent players has a condo in Ocean City, and once in a while we get out there to pretend we're playing, but most of the time we end up going out, eating, watching geeky movies and playing video games. We even have a small gift exchange during the holiday season.

Most of the playaz in my current group are in their 30s, and most are gay. We aren't exclusive to queers, but in my ghettoized lifestyle that's sort of how things happened here in DC. Some players come and go due to certain circumstances, but we've maintained a core group of geeks since I moved here about 7 years ago. Now don't be thinking we sit ourselves down for power gaming for 4+ hours either...most of the time we are gossiping much like a group of old ladies playing bridge. Several of us have problems focusing.

I started playing my freshman year in high school way back in 1985 or so. (Yipes! 18 years of geekdom!) Since then the D&D gaming system has seen four revisions, and is a lot easier to facilitate and play. I've played with five different groups over the years, and have tended to see certain patterns and ways to keep a group playing together as long as possible.

Now you'd think that geeks are sexless eunuchs. This is not true. It can be just as drama-ridden as Real World Paris at times. Since then I've constructed three rules to keep the drama to a minimum:

1. Bring Food. Geeks need massive amounts of sugar, caffeine and carbs to role play fanasty characters successfully. Healthy foods tends to stunt the creative process.

2. No Boyfriends/Girlfriends. Since my days of playing in high school, bringing a significant other along to play always leads to favoritism, and ultimately the loss of one member or another due to resentment or break-ups. Male or female, I've never seen it work.

3. No Inter-Geek Tricking. See #2. The more geeks mess around with each other, the more things start to get ugly. This wasn't much of a problem until I moved to DC, and is a relatively new rule. Again, it tends to forment resentments, drama and drop-outs.

We ain't getting any younger, and D&D isn't getting any less geeky. Finding new players in our age group is getting harder these days, and more and more players are focusing on career or other projects (eyes rolling).

In other news, I've had a pretty monastic weekend catching up on chores after last week's travels. The best thing that happened is that I got my first big, fat paycheck and was finally able to catch up on outstanding bills, including paying off a long-irritating chiropractic bill that I've been paying off for over a year. It feels really good to check off one of those thorns in my side.

I'm also off to the gym for the first time in a week. Due to the constant feasting from being home and the wedding I've gained back any and all weight lost due to a violent stomach flu I had over a month ago. The break seems to have done me some good too. Either that or all the luggage hauling in various airports beefed me up a bit. I also got a membership at my workplace, and can now work out at the university fitness center. Focus will be an issue there.

Went out to Blowoff last night because I didn't want to drive anywhere, and smoke there is usually at a minimum. It was a scant crowd, but I chatted with John for a bit and even got to dance for a few songs. There was this cute Jerseyesque cutie there whom I assumed was straight. The whole time he was eying up a small group of women there, but gazed at me for some time when I said my goodbyes when leaving. Honey, some of us are blonde...you really have to get the message across to grampaw jimbo before bedtime comes around!

I had a few moments of weakness yesterday. Remember the Good Apple from Ohio? I was really digging him when we were going on dates, but I don't think the interest was mutual. It was the first time I've been excited about someone in several years. In a nutshell phone calls were never returned...and I got the picture so I stopped calling as well. Still, I was hoping the disinterest was due to the crazy situation of my life at the time when we were going on dates - I was quite manic due to joblessness and job expectations, and am fully aware I wasn't the most stable-seeming interest in anyone's life. Still, I had to give it another try, so called again. No call back though, so my assumptions are probably true.
:' (
The other moment of weakness was calling Dreamy Ron. Yeah, I know we may not see eye to eye on sexual extremes, and I know he seems to only date men from other cities. But the weekend was free, so I gave him a call with the same results as above.

I know the holiday season in DC is crazy at best, frenzied at worst, so do not have high hopes for romance the next couple months. Eh, better to focus on the new job I guess.

Posted by jimbo at 12:53 PM | Comments (5)

November 7, 2003

Halloween night pic

Ohmigawd! Jon and I made Metro Weekly! From Halloween night in some alley between Apex and Omega:

Posted by jimbo at 8:49 PM | Comments (1)

October 30, 2003

a-list demons

So like yesterday I take the shuttle and Metro home with Tard and Chrisafer, and then come into work today with Tard, and then went on a tour with 'Fer again today to visit the printing headquarters for the university. After the tour of the printing plant, we stopped by this secondhand/liqudiation store frequented my many a college students. Suddenly (after helping me find an XXL strapless skin tone bra), Chrisafer appears with a sweatshirt from my alma mater! I snatched that thing up right quick. Chrisafer's powers of shopping almost rival Don's.

I am continually reminded why I was so horny in college. It's just hot hot hot everywhere, and they ain't even trying. They just get up out of bed, put on a ballcap and some clothes, and appear on campus all hot like that. I was saying to 'Fer that we probably overdosed on testosterone and pheremones on Saturday being in an enclosed, poorly ventilated space with a Marine rugby team, and we've been paying for it ever since. Add to it that it's been a while since I've gotten any, so I'm about to go on a rampage across campus. Prepare the tranq-darts...there's a wild jimbo on the loose! Tonight: shirtless men drink free at the Lantern for sure. There really is no alternative.

HILARIOUS episode of Angel last night...their crew has taken over an evil law firm, and it's time for the office Halloween party, which for this workplace is the equivalent to the Christmas parties for everyone else. Lorne, their PR demon was all aflutter about inviting the 'A-List' of the demonic underworld.

It seems like Friendster is slowly dying. I'm guessing it's a bad case of overloaded server. They never expected it to get so big, and now it's almost impossible to call up a profile in less than a minute. Oh well, I'm overconnected anyway. While I was on it just for fun at first, I did manage to meet someone thru it for a date or two, but that seems to have fizzled out as Friendster has.

Posted by jimbo at 1:20 PM | Comments (1)

September 19, 2003

underworld

The sky was moving fast, the wind blowing, rain spattering my window...something needed to get done. AOL, Yahoo Messenger, ICUII, bigmuscle.com and bigmusclebears.com all came up nada for nookie. I want my money back! I had to settle with a few nice chats and only one invite from a tired, tina'd and sketchy PnP couple out in what they called 'Arlington', actually more like Reston. Sorry tweaky twinkers...make yourselves a balanced meal and call it a night. I ain't that desperate.

Today me and some of the geek posse who didn't have to go to school today due to the hurricane went to see the vampire vs. werewolf film Underworld. It was a pretty good storyline, full of multi-layered intrigues and fun fight scenes. The vampires have done away with the usual biting and slashing in lieu of ample firearms and ninja stars. The werewolves, being less refined, stick with brute force most of the time, but lack the inherent vampire fashion sense, endless bloody mary cocktails and prime real estate. I won't tell you who wins, but the main werewolf character played by Scott Speed was pretty hot, as were a few others in the pack. I side with the werewolves of course.

While a lot of people in the area have no power or poor water service, we seem to be OK here in da 'hood. I attribute that to the lack of large trees to blow over, which had long ago been harvested for crackhouse homesteads. Sadly, the airports were closed and Kiri couldn't make it down for the weekend.

Something needs to get done...I think I'm going out to the Eagle tonight.

Posted by jimbo at 5:26 PM | Comments (2)

September 5, 2003

jimbo sells out

I only ask that for posting the banner ad for the upcoming Elvis vs Mummy flick Bubba Ho-Tep, that the film actually screens in DC. You can view the other banner ad for this film at Fitz' site.

Posted by jimbo at 4:01 PM | Comments (3)

September 4, 2003

d&d geek quiz

Find out What D&D Character Are You?

I Am A: Neutral Good Human Ranger Druid

Alignment:
Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered 'normal'.

Deity:
Mielikki is the Neutral Good goddess of the forest and autumn. She is also known as the Lady of the Forest, and is the Patron of Rangers. Her followers are devoted to nature, and believe in the positive and outreaching elements of it. They use light armor, and a variety of weapons suitable for hunting, which they are quite skilled at. Mielikki's symbol is a unicorn head.

Posted by jimbo at 2:49 AM | Comments (8)

June 14, 2003

Dr. Daniel Jacksonfur

Last night on the sci-fi channel we watched 'lowdown' (a 'making of' sorta show) followed by the two-hour premiere of Stargate: SG-1. One of the directors' comments regarding the actor Michael Shanks, who plays Dr. Daniel Jackson, centered around the fact that they have to shear down his body hair if there's ever a naked or shirtless scene. My initial BHI scans alluded to this fact, and I exulted at the comment. He and most of the cast are rather beefy this season. Yipee! In other scruffy sci fi news, here's the cutie X-Men actor who played Iceman. I sensed high, but much trimmed BHI there as well.

Today I got to work out, run and lie my white self in the sun. The tingling all over tells me I overdid it, but I have to get one of those first burns to get any color at all. Plus, my religion forbids me to stay indoors during a nice day.

Later today I will be wearing my Tevas, as I so love to do when it is warm, and cuz I'm crunchy like that. I also wear them when I go backpacking, after making camp and chilling out around the campsite. Tevas, Tevas, Tevas. I am a Teva Diva.

Posted by jimbo at 11:30 AM | Comments (5)

May 23, 2003

memorial day weekend

So the Enterprise finale promised a more exciting season next year. Big mysterious creepy nebula that turns Klingons inside out and makes Vulcans get violent. Cool. Big new cannons and photon torpedos!

Nothing very big on my agenda this weekend. No work for three days, no rugby for three days, that's for sure. Tonight I have nothing planned except perhaps a haircut and a workout and dishes. Tomorrow evening I go to the Black Cat to listen to some tunes. That day I hope to see an X-Men matinee. Sunday is fishing with My'ra somewhere down in Southern Maryland. Monday - perhaps go see the Matrix!

The FU Friday!!!!! (so timely, with my new fu and all)

FU!
..... All the crackwhores down the street. Get some imagination, and imagine yourself doing something else!
..... Thievin' bike messengers. Bike messengers who play chicken with me.
..... The Victimized who say they want to build a g/l/bi/whatever center right where our rugby practice field is. Sorry hons, it was willed to the city under the premise that it would be for the youth of the city in perpetuity. It stays as a playground/ballfield.
..... My Big Fat Tonsils.
..... Viruses, both electronic and biologic.

So what's the difference between a bar, a pub and a tavern? Europhiles and 'Tards speak up.

Posted by jimbo at 9:34 AM | Comments (7)

May 20, 2003

missing the finale

Dangit...I got that stoopit bachelor auction date tonight, and the Buffy finale is on! When will they re-broadcast it?

'Twas a queen's dilemma last night: on Bravo was the Madonna biography hosted by Matt Lauer. On NBC was the Martha Stewart biography. What was I to do? Madonna's voice live in concert wasn't all that (when is it ever, except in the studio?) and I got tired of looking at Cybill Shepherd's botox-injected, lifeless face, so I read my new D&D book instead.

Please don't do botox. It's just so wrong in so many ways.

Posted by jimbo at 12:39 PM | Comments (7)

May 12, 2003

public jimbo art

Today jimbo features a bathroom public art sketch by jimbo on today's blog entry. Can you see which sketch I drew?

Posted by jimbo at 3:28 PM

May 8, 2003

have you played Atari today?

Interesting...Infogrames, the creators of my favorite computer obsession Civilization III, have changed their name to Atari. Infogrames apparently legally acquired the retro name two years ago and have decided to rename themselves after the ancient video game overlords.

While my family had the superior ColecoVision system, I did play a lot of Atari 2600 games. What was your favorite Atari game? Mine was that tank game where you could modify the playing field, making the bullets bounce off of the walls (or not).

Posted by jimbo at 4:26 PM | Comments (9)

April 9, 2003

Miss Goody Puritan

Does anybody know anything about true Wiccanism and stuff like that? I heard something about not using it as a weapon for vengance and stuff like that, as it's apparently against the true Wiccan religion. Anyhow, threats of violence are frowned upon in many religions, and isn't usually conducive for good relations between people as a general rule.

Speaking of geeky: Don't Come Crying To Me When You Need Someone Who Speaks Elvish.

"Frankly, Steven, given your current level of engagement, I'd be surprised if you could be bothered to study a crude, simple language like Klingon, with its guttural consonants and inelegant constructions."

On a different note, there was a telling encounter on Saturday during the pre-match warm-up. I think I was talking about the Eagle or something, and cute straight Scottish Matt asked what the gay obsession was with leather. I gave a general response, speaking for those who do leather and all that, by saying: "Well, I think since we've overcome one big social taboo [being gay] we find it easy to check out other taboo subjects."

At that moment, one of my grumpy uptight overworked out-of-shape Republican teammates interposed himself rudely into the conversation without knowing the background of the conversation and blurted out, "Harrr...speak for yourself."

Well, Asshole, I was answering a general question with a general answer, making a generalization about people I'm generally familiar with. And I wasn't talking to you. Said asshole also ignores me outright on the field even though I have two years of rugby over him. Said asshole will get a talkin' to if he continues to transpose his frustrations over breaking up with another teammate on to me. Take a break if you can't handle it, otherwise don't piss in yer own pool.

I'm just bitching out loud, but that type of discussion is sooo typically DC (especially with those who've seroconverted to GOP-Positive). People tend to let out Puritanical gasps of shock when such subjects like that come up, and yet later you see them on www.M4Mtelephonepolesex.com the next week with a telephone pole shoved up their ass. That shit just steams me up. It's no secret that hypocricy is the bread and butter in this town, but it still suprises me coming from people I know.

Posted by jimbo at 10:40 AM | Comments (13)

March 30, 2003

8th-level Cleric of Jesus Christ

An actual conversation from my high school years, where my cousin from Mississippi and I were working up a D&D character for him to play:

Jimbo: "OK, so what kind of character do you want to roll up?"
Cousin: "I want to play a Cleric of Jesus Christ."
Jimbo: "Umm, you can't do that..."
Cousin: "Why not? Jesus performed miracles."
Jimbo: "Jesus was an avatar of God."
Cousin: "Well, he walked on water and healed people."
Jimbo: "Yeah, but none of his followers could do that."
Cousin: "Well then, how do you explain Moses? He parted the Red Sea and called down plagues on the Egyptians."
Jimbo: "Neither Jesus nor God are part of the Greyhawk pantheon of dieties."
Cousin: "I still want to play a Cleric of Jesus."
Jimbo: "But...OK fine then."

Don't anyone ever say I'm not flexible. Rumour has it that D&D is the shit in Hollywood. I'm not holding my breath for Colin Farrell to come knocking on my door during an intense session in the Forgotten Realms, however.

Posted by jimbo at 6:58 PM | Comments (8)

March 12, 2003

geek, dork or 'tard?

People frequently approach me and ask, "Jimbo, are you a geek, dork or a 'tard?" I have developed a system that helps me answer that question, based on the McBride soil composition taxonomy chart.

The McBride Method involves tactile sampling of soil types based on the composition ratios of sand, silt and clay in the sample. An experienced soil scientist can determine a soil type by touching dry and moist samples of soil. For example, most of the soil in Washington, DC is a silty clay, as it is composed mainly of clay with some silt, and very little sand.

You can modify the McBride chart to determine your type by replacing the sand, silt and clay terms with geek, dork and 'tard*, respectively. For example, most of the people in my D&D group are geeks with differing levels of 'tard and dork. Jon is a 'tardy geek, and My'ra is simply a dorky geek. I would call myself a dorky 'tardy geek as is Fitz. Cory is clearly a geeky 'tard, and Matt is 'tardy dork. Is this clear to everyone?

* geek: overly focused on some obscure hobby or passtime; dork: prone to saying or doing inappropriate things; 'tard: frequently misunderstood or avoided.

Posted by jimbo at 8:21 PM | Comments (8)

March 10, 2003

children of dune

Ooooh...terribly, terribly geeked out and excited for Sci-Fi Channel's follow-up to Dune: Children of Dune. Will be watchin' it on Sunday at Gurl's place. Supa-psychic kung-fu, fabulous sets and Susan Sarandon! 8pm, Sunday on Sci-Fi.

For you non-geeks, here's a brief synopsis: The adventures of Paul Atreides, heir to a political dynasty, began in the year 10191. In the midst of an ongoing power struggle among the Great Royal Houses, the Emperor Shaddam IV sent House Atreides to the desert planet Arrakis (also known as Dune) to oversee the production of Spice. Spice is the most precious substance in the universe because it makes possible interstellar space travel; extends life; and enables people to see into the future.

Soon after the Atreides' arrival on Arrakis, Paul's father, Duke Leto Atreides, was assassinated by rivals from House Harkonnen. Paul and his mother, Lady Jessica, a mystical "Bene Gesserit" witch with powers of mind control, were forced to escape into the desert.

Rescued by the Fremen, a fierce desert people who believed the young Atreides to be the Mah'di � the messiah of their legends � Paul began to recognize his power to shape the future. Under his mother's tutelage, he honed his own considerable Bene Gesserit talents and began to see into the future.

Eventually, Paul accepted the mantle of his fate. Marshalling the Fremen "desert power," Paul � now known as Muad'Dib � led the Fremen in a successful revolt against his enemies, the corrupt House Harkonnen. He seized control of all Spice production on Arrakis and forced the emperor and other Great Royal Houses to accept him as their new ruler.

Muad'Dib preserved peace and united the ruling houses by marrying the Emperor's daughter, Princess Irulan. But it was a marriage in name only, because Muad'dib's heart belongs to his concubine, Chani, the future mother of his heir.

Posted by jimbo at 10:56 AM | Comments (10)

February 27, 2003

A&F D&D geek pic

This is the hottest bunch of D&D players you'll ever meet. Clockwise from left: My'ra, Richard, Doug, Jimbo, Gurl, Vonnie Du Bois, Dax and Woodchuck.

It's snowing again, long drive from Fairfax. Not accumulating, just scaring the pants off the incompetent locals. They take all the fun out of snow. Remember: PRECIPITATION KILLS!

Other oddities: two dead dudes from ancient Egypt cohabiting and both sharing identical titles in the palace of King Niuserre of the Fifth Dynasty: "OVERSEER OF THE MANICURISTS IN THE PALACE OF THE KING." And some kind of Japanese penis/drag festival. I don't make this shit up, I just post it for your pleasure.

Posted by jimbo at 6:14 PM | Comments (5)

February 26, 2003

Xanadu at Library of Congress

OMG I am so there!

Date: Friday, February 28, 2003
Time: 7:00PM - 9:00PM EST (GMT-05:00)

FREE MOVIE at Library of Congress but you have to call ahead. RESERVATIONS may be made by phone, beginning one week before any given show. Call (202) 707-5677 during business hours (Monday-Friday, 9:00 am to 4:00 pm). Reserved seats must be claimed at least 10 minutes before showtime, after which standbys will be admitted to unclaimed seats. All programs are free, but seating is limited to 64 seats. The Mary Pickford Theater is located on the third floor of the Library of Congress Madison building, 101 Independence Avenue, Washington, DC; South Capitol Metro Station - Blue/Orange Lines.
Xanadu (Universal, 1980. Dir Robert Greenwald. With Gene Kelly, Olivia Newton-John, Michael Beck. (93 min, 35mm).

When did the Golden Age of the Movie Musical end? With My Fair Lady? West Side Story? Cabaret? Connoisseurs may argue, but most would agree that by 1974 it was dead and stinking. Or was it? This series offers Unsung Musicals from a less precious age when song and dance had a dangerously, daringly tenuous hold on the harmonic, terpsichorean, and celluloid aesthetic. We begin with Xanadu. The word appeared to Samuel Taylor Coleridge in an opium vision: Xanadu. It evokes exotic, faraway lands; a rich man's folly; a masterpiece of cinema. Come see what the fuss is all about.

Posted by jimbo at 10:24 AM | Comments (1)

January 21, 2003

which nazg�l are you?

Which Ringwraith are You?

Posted by jimbo at 3:36 PM | Comments (1)

January 8, 2003

superfreak

I'm going to try some old skool graphics and do my design on Paint, just like Don does. I'm such a freak. Why can't I be normal like Bubbles and Gurl? Now who wants ta get freaky wit da freak? Don't be shy now.

Posted by jimbo at 4:51 PM | Comments (3)

December 22, 2002

star trek: numbesis

Gurl & Co. got me a DVD player and the CivIII: Play the World expansion CD! My first DVD ever is Purple Rain! Haven't even opened the DVD player yet, as I've still been playing through all the scenarios in Civ.

Last night my roomate and I went to see Star Trek: Nemesis. It wasn't the worst Star Trek, but pretty close to the bottom of the pack. The villian wasn't that scary, and some of the dialouge was very cheesy. They coulda played up the really nasty death-by-acne weapon they had, and played down the whole mirror image of Picard thing. And they coulda played up Deanna Troi's psychic violation storyline, and allowed her to kick some ass when she was temporarily in control of the bridge. Troi fires photon cannons! That woulda been cool.

While it was retro 70's and 80's night at Nation, I did a late night energy assessment and decided to pass on it. I'll try to save up my boogie karma for the 28th, when Kim English performs for my birthday! So instead I went out to the Eagle, as I needed more of a "results-oriented" evening. No such luck. There was one object of attraction there, but his conversation was halting, so I tried something new. Instead of ending the chat with "it was nice talking to you", I just turned around and left. If ya can't even be civil, yer not worth my time or energy.

Stebbins was there, however, and we had some nice gurl chat, and I went home by midnight. On the phone was a considerate message from Glennalicious, who's in town for the weekend, and I might see him some time today.

Posted by jimbo at 12:32 PM

December 16, 2002

fixed the problem

Bubba speaks! Now if only we could hear from Spin. Blogging gestapo has spoken.

Fixed the problem with my demo site. Ahh, the power of tables. Forced the space around the form options so it fit on one page. How's it look on a Mac, y'all?

Posted by jimbo at 9:26 PM | Comments (2)

lazy coder cry for help

Anyone know of an alternative to overuse of drop-down menus? The client wants everything up front (I know, very bad). I want to avoid the javascript layering code, as it's way too wieghty.

Or, how do you control the spacing around option form tags? I can't get those select drop downs to be more cozy together. Urrrgh...argh! Suggestions are very welcome. In a nutshell, here's the case:

PROBLEM: drop-down menus taking up too much space, client insists on an overwhelming barrage of link options.

Basically, I want to please the customer and keep all the selections available, AND keep it all to one browser window 700X450 in size. But otherwise, how does it look?

Posted by jimbo at 3:35 PM | Comments (2)

October 21, 2002

design block

I'm workin' on my first private Web redesign gig for a friend, so I started working on it Sunday. Then...WHAM! | Total creative block. I maraud Jocko and JDub's sites for ideas, search the 'net for micro icons and CSS styles...no luck. HELP! Here are some needs:

• The ever-elusive search on how to easily create rounded corners on table cells. Is it possible through CSS? I don't wanna mess with doing those damn corner curvey .gifs either.
• micro-icons, specifically ones symbolizing a little insurance document, a condo, a townhouse and a car, 12 X 12px in size, like these here.
• can't...get...Photoshop...to allow for a pen tip brush...in my attempts to make my own micro-icons I can't seem to get the fuzziness effect out of my brush...I want pixel by pixel accuracy, not a fadey edge effect on my brush.

Now that I'm able to do my temp job faster, I'm finding that without music my mind tends to wander and dwell. Music is the only distraction. No computer at work, and can't goof around by e-mailing y'all or blogging constantly. I'm almost completely through my music selection, and by November I will memorize every Prince, Nickel Creek, Indigo Girls, Sting, Madonna and heavy house lyric in my entire collection.

Yeah, Jocko's firmly planted in the Brad Fullmer Stalking Club along with me and Bubba. Who was drooling over Fullmer years ago? Who gave you the inside scoop on the stud on a monthly basis? Who saw the domination of the Angels over everything? Jimbo, that's who.

Actually, I had no idea, and was just lusting is all. But it was an exciting game last night, tight scores throughout the four-hour game, with lots of hot close-ups of Fullmer's ornery batting face. GRRR! And that shimmy of his when he winds up before the hit gets me cranked. Tune in for the rest of the games, will ya?

Posted by jimbo at 8:13 PM | Comments (7)

October 1, 2002

montezuma the great

BWA HA HAAA! I HAVE WON! MONTEZUMA THE GREAT REIGNS SUPREME! Did you know: during his sentence in Kazakstan in the Peace Corps, Jimbo was voted 'Most Likely to Become Benevolent Dictator of a Third World Country'?

Damn, it sure felt good to suceed at something lately. Last night, after a year of owning and playing the thing, I finally won a game of Civilization III. I chose to be Montezuma of the Aztecs, specializing in religious, cultural and militaristic approaches to conquest. Imagine the Aztecs not falling to the Conquistadores' muskets and disease, imagine them being the first to develop hydropower and then bulding the Aztec version of Hoover Dam. Imagine them to be the ones to discover the Cure for Cancer. Imagine them being the first to build a spaceship to Alpha Centauri. Bwa ha haaa...that's how I won. Soon, the expansion pack for Civ III is coming out...Play the World. That should keep me busy.

Last night the roomate/landlord offered to reduce my rent in exchange for doing chores in and out of the house. I certainly appreciate that considering my current situation. I'm glad he likes me enough to offer that option. We do get along well I think. The first of my tasks is to turn up the soil in the back yard. I can do that. I wish I was handy as Glenn and then I'd refurbish the first floor.

Hmm...somebody ain't gettin' my drift about my opinions of the protesters, so I wrote this person a lengthy e-mail explaining why I'm so harsh on the kids. I liked the message so much, I might try submittimg it to the Blade after a few more edits. Hell, if I'm going to be poor, I might as well be a writer. In a nutshell it ain't the cause I have the problem with, it's the approach.

Rob is sexy. Michael is woofy. Jocko is hot. Jennie makes me want to be a lesbian. I certainly already have the wardrobe for it.

Posted by jimbo at 10:46 AM | Comments (7)

August 21, 2002

happy birthday v'ger

bye-bye...have a nice trip! Both Voyagers celebrate their 25th birthdays this week. Let's hope one of them gets to that black hole that sucks them over to the other side of the galaxy where it meets a race of techno-beings who send Voyager back to Earth in search of The Creator in the form of a colossal destructive cloud. V'ger then assimilates the totally bald chick from the sex-being race played by Persis Khambatta (now dead from cancer) who gets it on with Stephen Collins (now of 7th Heaving fame), creating a being of pure love, funk and circuitry that also happens to be able to wipe out Klingon Warbird units (insert cool Warbird theme here) and planets with but a thought.

This begs the question: were the beings the Voyager Probe first met proto-Borg? Was V'ger actually a massive Borg probe, sent back towards Earth on an intelligence mission? Was the apparent destruction to the three Klingon ships actually a slow warp process, sending the Warbirds back to Borg space in the other quadrant for examination and assimilation? This may have been our first glimpse at the Borg. Oooh...it would be cool to wrap that up somehow. Lemme work on the script.

Posted by jimbo at 10:04 AM | Comments (1)

August 5, 2002

ironclad unit

Here's a nifty infographic about the Monitor, the very first ironclad unit, built during the Civil War.

Geek Note: Jimbo is interested in this as the Ironclad units are one of the first naval units you can produce in CivIII upon discovering the Industrialization scientific advance.

Kiri...why do you have to bleach your hair and then dye it? Are you supposed to do it that way?

Woof Note: my honey pot is quenched.

Posted by jimbo at 11:29 AM | Comments (3)

July 25, 2002

massive geek convention

Gen-Con in August!

Posted by jimbo at 10:57 AM | Comments (5)

July 22, 2002

i see monsters

Posted by jimbo at 11:51 AM

July 19, 2002

new from Mattel

It's the Barbie "Bewitched" doll!

Posted by jimbo at 2:36 PM

July 18, 2002

the return of jimbo.info

Oooh...lookee. It's coming! Faster server, all on one domain, diva goddess server manager.

Posted by jimbo at 3:05 PM | Comments (1)

July 5, 2002

spinning objects in Flash

Regarding my little Flash experiment...I'd like to make those little stars spin slowly. I've yet to figure out how to do that quickly and efficiently without doing a 15-degree rotate on a bunch of frames. Any way to 'tween it ? Anyone's opinion is duly appreciated.

Posted by jimbo at 9:26 AM | Comments (3)

June 10, 2002

geek upgrade

Fitz, you have now been upgraded to the esteemed title of Hierophant Uber-Hyper-Ultra Geek for that outfit. Shit, that get-up beats my White Hand Orc outfit I wore for the Lord of the Rings live-action role playing (LARP) game way back in Governor Dodge State Park, Wisconsin. Do you have a complete Klingon outfit somewhere deep in your closet?

Posted by jimbo at 10:37 PM

June 8, 2002

denial of coolness

Sorry, Fitz, I cannot upgrade you to cool. I can cite page 120 of the Dungeons and Drag Queens Player's Handbook, which states that any levels taken in the Geek character class negate any and all benefits from taking any in the Cool character class. True, you do have a cool website, and are in a band. However, if you can answer any of the following questions (and I know you can), it is proof that you have more than a few levels as a Geek, which overshadows any benefits of being Cool:

1. Who is the sylvan goddess of forests and meadows in the Land of Greyhawk?
2. Who is the security officer on the U.S.S. Voyager?
3. Name the five card color types in the card game Magic, the Gathering.
4. Lloth is a primary goddess of which race of humanoids?
5. What die type do you use when casting a cure light wounds spell?

An interesting article about hemorrhoids in the Washington Blade this week. Mine have finally gone away, and they fucking sucked. Had 'em for over a month, and if you ever get them, I can offer tons of suggestions for soothing the rectal fires and for treatment.

Dolly Parton is coming to DC to perform at the 930 Club, just down the street from me. All the queens are abuzz about it. I'm probably going.

Posted by jimbo at 11:53 AM | Comments (4)

May 18, 2002

star wars character profile

Oh jeez...I did the Star Wars personalily profile, and ended up ranking as a goddamn Ewok!

Wicket -- A particularly curious, inventive, and resourceful young Ewok, open to exploring new ideas and developing novel solutions to everyday problems (e.g., destroying AT-ATs).

High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex.

Again, why am I always typecast as cute, small, furry creatures? Past endearing labels pasted on me have included Monchichi, Teddy Bear and Care Bear. At least I wasn't profiled as Jar-Jar Binks.

Posted by jimbo at 11:47 AM

May 16, 2002

master yoda rocks

It must be hard to make a movie that everyone knows the end to, but it was still fun to see how they got there. Attack of the Clones was yet more build-up for the first three in the Star Wars movies, but it was still a good time. Either they only did one take for each scene, or Natalie Portman just doesn't have the mojo for sci-fi. There were several scenes with her that were just laughable. However, Hayden Christensen was the consumate grumpy Jedi about to go Dark, and Ewan MacGregor has come into his role as Obi Wan. I kept expecting him to break out into song like in 'Moulin Rouge' - My gift is my saber! You can tell anybody, that this is my saber. It may be quite simple but, now that it's done...

The highlight for me was when the sheriff came to town...in this case a three foot tall green gnome named Master Yoda. Levitating stone columns: not a problem. Fending off Sith energy bolts: easy. Light Saber technique: FUCKING AMAZING!!!! If he was a kung fu master, his fighting style would best be described as the "Raging Bumblebee" school of Shou Lung. Don't mess with Master Yoda or he'll fuck you up bad.

We also get to see the origins of the Stormtroopers, Death Star and what makes Boba Fett tick. I'll stop now and let you see the movie. Thanks to Mike for gettin' the tickets, and I'm sure Fitz will have something to say about it too. I'll call off the Jihad against Jar Jar Binks, as he actually mellows out and has a function in the plotline. I breathed a sigh of relief when he walked off his final scene.

Posted by jimbo at 11:45 PM | Comments (2)

May 1, 2002

willow goes evil

Oh no! It looks like Willow will fall off the wagon on the season finale of Buffy. No doubt she goes on a bender, back to her magic addiction. Tara will never take Willow back now! I know people in DC like that.

Spent much of the day chilling out. Went for a quick jog and then off to Brian's to watch Star Trek Enterprise. I was hoping the mysterious lifeform in Loading Dock B would spit out the captain and the engineer sans clothing, but sadly its ectoplasmic discharges do not dissolve clothing.

Posted by jimbo at 9:49 PM

April 18, 2002

old bird

Damn...imagine being a 50 year-old bird, flying virtually pole-to-pole every year and back, and laying eggs twice a year to boot. Ornithologists have captured a very resilient shearwater and re-released her after recording her leg band information. I remember my coworkers in Alaska talking about 6 year-old puffins in Alaska, but never anything as old as this bird. You go girl!

Looking back I should have applied to temp agencies immediately upon losing my job in February. My approach of full-time permanent job hunting came up fruitless, and I find myself in a financial bind, working for peanuts at the sports club. Hopefully a better-paying temp job will come up soon, so I don't have to stand all day. Norwegians were meant to sit on their asses, or pillage the British Isles, not stand at attention all day.

However, it has been interesting. Saw the mayor again yesterday, and a bunch of news people whose names escape me.

Posted by jimbo at 7:31 PM

April 15, 2002

blade II

My'ra treated me to a matinee of Blade II. She promised it would be the "tightest film you'll see all year," and she was right. Super-duper kung-fu vampire killin' action. New nasty kind of vampire too, with expandible mandibles for better bloodsucking convenience. Not one, but two woofy vampires in Blade's crew trained to hunt down the renegade mutant vampires. One's a hot Maori vampire who wields a bladed hammer, the other is a furry southern boy with bleached hair. Sadly, like all woofy supporting character roles in sci-fi/horror films, they get offed early in the movie.

Kate's been workin' overtime as a muse for jimbo...Don't Give Up seems to be my job hunt and financial mantra at the moment.

Posted by jimbo at 5:50 PM | Comments (2)

April 12, 2002

MASTER Yoda

Sneak preview from someone who apparently saw Episode II:
"Yoda�s fighting style is� well let�s just say he could kick all your asses. "

Posted by jimbo at 4:12 PM

March 31, 2002

resurrection day

Happy resurrection day! Today, the spells Raise Dead, Reincarnation and Resurrection are all cast at +1 caster level. All Craft checks related to painting eggs receive a +4 divine competency bonus, as do all Search checks made for finding candy and eggs in the grass.

I managed to find the gay bar in LaCrosse last night. It was a lot more lively than last time, and the music wasn't bad either. However, it was hard to shake off this guy that latched on to me early in the evening, so I left after only one beer.

Posted by jimbo at 8:56 AM

March 29, 2002

my precious

I have a geek confession to make: "The Hobbit" is the only Tolkien book I've ever read since this weekend. All I know about the rest of the books is through Rankin-Bass cartoons and geeky conversation.

So I picked up a copy of "Fellowship" here at Mom's and I'll probably be done by tonight. Damn, he can't write concisely, but I sure know all there is to know about hobbits. Gollum's more than just a slimy guy in a hole too...he used to be a hobbit! Can't do the whole "My preciousss..." routine around my nephew Bryce though...it scares him too much. I know exactly where my precious is: safe at home at DC in the naughty box under the bed. Mine's a bit bigger than the one Sauron made, I might add.

Posted by jimbo at 11:31 PM

March 6, 2002

paas 'n peeps

I got my Paas on, I got my Peeps on, I got my plastic grass on. 14 happy eggs are currently boiling on the stove, soon to be colored the hues of spring ephemeral wildflowers. Let the rebirth begin.

I will be going home to Wisconsin the last week of March for a little more R&R (Reflection and Regeneration). It should be a somewhat nice time of year to go back to America's Dairyland.

Posted by jimbo at 3:14 PM

February 8, 2002

metropolis

Dang it...I'm busy and stressed out as hell, and there's all these cool movies I want to see. The aforementioned Brotherhood of the Wolf, and now the anime spectacular Metropolis. Perhaps I'll find a minit in there somewhere to go see it. I'm assuming Fitz has already seen it?

I just realized that the Evil Test is flawed. While it did ask about the important evil traits such as lying, stealing, and SUV ownership, it did not ask about having a goatee. Whenever anyone from Star Trek goes to the parallel universe where good is evil and vice verse, the evil counterparts ALWAYS have goatees. Satan has a goatee, and if you have one, you're evil too. I currently do not have one, which is why I was just shy of evil on the survey.

Posted by jimbo at 11:05 AM | Comments (1)

February 1, 2002

how to role-play

Ahh...I worked out for the first time in almost a week. It's been hard to find time to work out with house issues and stuff, but it felt good. Sore as hell today. I hope to get some iron in tonight too.

jimbo's comin' down from NYC to geek out with us! She may play one of her characters, or perhaps Blue, my psionic mutant goblin. I tend to play him with an amalgamated persona somewhere between Beavis and Paul Lynde. After you're 30 and still play the game, you really have to dig for ways to make it entertaining. Some people don't comprehend how to role-play a character, but it's really quite easy and formulaic:

1. roll up your six attributes
2. choose a race
3. choose a sex
4. choose a profession
5. go shopping for gear and weapons
6. describe the character's appearance; and finally
7. choose a persona

Oooh...the first of many pics from my trip to Manchester, England are coming in...here's a team shot taken after the match. I'm just to the right of the guy in the front row in blue. That's a mouthguard in my mouth. Above me is Phil, to my right is "Monkeybrains" Pete. Woofers include my host Sean (bottom row, 2nd from left, shaved head), Tim (bottom row, 4th from right), Neil (standing row, 2nd from right), and Ian MacWoof (standing row, 4th from right). Thanks guys, the trip was fantastic!

Interesting...last night while I was working out at Washington's most exclusive fitness center (where Michael Jordan lives and works out) I saw a guy proudly wearing a shirt that said "Survivor: WTO Seattle". Obviously he was one of the noble protesters present during the riots that destroyed some of Seattle's downtown during the WTO meetings in 1999. Today, he can somehow afford to work out at a club that demands over $100/mo. in membership fees, with down-payments exceeding $1,000. (FYI: Jimbo gets the membership FREE due to the liberal domestic partership benefits of the club). Globalization and capitolism has obviously scourged his life, and he's now living desitute due to the sins of our nation, and our oppression of the world. Jimbo raises his three middle fingers to the sky, in a catty W-E-M gesture to these people. Again, if you're going to gather to have a party, just have a party and be done with it. Cut the noble protest crap, I see right through you.

Posted by jimbo at 3:22 PM