October 18, 2007

women are indeed allowed in the saliva pit

Last night the little spot in my head flared up where I got multiple sinus infections in college while I was taking scuba class. As I ascended up the water column during a test while my sinuses were clogged, something burst and I bled profusely through my nose. (You shouldn't go scuba diving with a sinus infection, fyi) From then on it always hurts a little when the air pressure is changing quickly, so I expect some rain to come through soon. Hopefully it won't dissipate into humidity and dust like all the precipitation has this fall.


This week in my favorite new advice column Ask Bob: women not allowed at Blowoff?!? Horsefeathers! I mean, at the last Blowoff there were a buncha lesbians monitoring fluid exchange in the Saliva Pit. I had no problem with it and they seemed to be enjoying themselves too. There's fun for everyone there - Saturday, Oct. 20, at the 9:30 Club.

Dammit, Chaka-Kahn is supposed to be performing at H2O in town for Howard University Homecoming, and A Year With Frog and Toad (my favorite gay couple) will be at the Strathmore. But tonight is the last practice before a very important match on Saturday, and I need to desperately grasp on to the last remnants of my masculinity the best I can, so I need to be at practice. Anyway, we're top-ranked in our division in the local union, which is very exciting because we've had some really challenging years, with some matches where we did not score a point, or others where we got up to a hundred points scored against us. These days we're not only competitive, but we're winning. The match will be at an idyllic farm in Poolesville, and I hope to get some photos.

I will be going to see Annie Lennox next week with the same bunch with whom I saw Emily, Amy, and Cyndi . It's kind of wierd how all the same artist's names end in the diminutive case. Annie better frikkin' sing because the ticket was a pretty penny.

In order to remain completely superficial and continue to degrade myself by constantly putting physical beauty on a pedistal, here is a random picture of some hot guy with a gun:
No, I don't know him and I can't remember where I found the pic and I can't refer him to you.

Happy thoughts - happy, rainier times in Homer, Alaska at the end of the rainbow:
Rainbow's End in Katchemak Bay, Homer, Alaska.
I worked there in 1993, and visited again a few years ago when the photo was taken.

Posted by jimbo at 12:14 PM | Comments (8)

October 17, 2007

Larry Craig is a big fat lying homo

This morning I was watching pieces of hott Matt Lauer's uncomfortable interview with creepy lying bathroom cruising Senator Larry Craig. It was so sad I was cringing in empathy for his wife. Senator Craig's whole family is going through a media circus in order to maintain Larry's feeble grasp on the lie that he has maintained for so many years. And it's so obvious he's a creepy lying bathroom troll, everyone knows it, and yet he is working so hard to drag his family down with him into the urinal. Craig says, "I don't approve of that lifestyle," even though he has been repeatedly caught in the seediest acts of the lifestyle he denounces. Fuck you too, Larry.

This compartmentalization, or cognitive dissonance, is common in DC. What people legislate during the day is quite different than what they do at night. Someone recently cursed me (for wearing bad footwear) to constantly have to date only uptight clean cut Republicans, but the joke is not far from the truth. You really have to watch out for these guys in this town - closetedness and tha down-low situation are at near epidemic levels in DC. Fortunately I have fairly good filters to detect such bullshit in people I date.

Conversely, an out-of-the closet acquaintance of mine was beaten by three people at the Georgia Ave./Petworth Metrorail station this week. He was in work clothes, is European, kind of slight, and a bit fey in his appearance - which of course can be interpreted as gay by certain ignorant and hateful groups of people in DC. He was not robbed, and I suspect he was beaten by these three people for sport. He's a very nice guy and this attack was seemingly random, possibly motivated by how he looks and acts.

The news of this attack, and the escalation of the cries of 'FAGGOT!' from down the block (and sometimes outside of my window) kind of makes me want to obtain a gun. I am convinced people act out what they think, and what they say reflects what they're thinking, so I take these words seriously. But guns are actually pretty heavy, and I'm sure the day I choose to leave my gun at home I'll get mugged. I'd really rather not have to carry a gun in my gym bag all the time. Knives are lighter I guess. I have a nice serrated gardening knife with a comfy rubber handle that might work better.

Gays are an easy target by those whose rights or position as a minority group are higher than the homos'. Everyone feels better with a heirarchy in place. Our moving into transitional neighborhoods is merely a symptom and one of the first stages of gentrification - but we're not the cause of gentrification. But ignorant people who are terrified of change and difference need a scapegoat, in a town where scapegoating and unloading responsibility is old hat. So it's far easier for these people to take it out on some other group. To blame gays and hate gays because they're the first sign of change. Fear of change leads to anger - anger leads to hate - hate leads to suffering and all that said Master Yoda. Even the local churches have perpetuated this hate and continue to do so.

With the awareness that I am designated as a target in my neighborhood, maybe I should think seriously about getting a gun. I used to know how to shoot a B.B. gun, .22 and a .375 H&H Magnum rifle when I worked in Alaska. But the latter is a rifle intended for killing big game but certainly an effective thought.

The calls I've made to the DC Metropolitan Police Gay & Lesbian Liason Unit have gone unanswered. And by the time I've been jumped the cops will be too late. Time to be proactive I guess. I'm not gonna go down hanging off of a fence.
thinking about guns...

Posted by jimbo at 11:33 AM | Comments (25)

October 11, 2007

Happy National Coming Out Day

OMG it's National Coming Out Day!

I came out when I was good and ready, not necessarily on Oct. 11. But it's good to be out. The air is fresher and I don't feel the need to express my sexuality in an airport bathroom - I can do that in a gay bar, and it's sooo liberating.

I came out after I explored my sexuality during a summer study abroad trip in Europe waaay back in 1990 or so. The first half of that summer I studied forestry management in the Black Forest of Germany, and pollution studies in Poland (a GREAT place to study pollution, fyi). The rest of the summer I whored around in Köln, Oslo, Amsterdam and London, and came back wondering why Stevens Point, Wisconsin didn't have festive, open-air gay bars like those other cosmopolitan cities. I didn't feel like readjusting from megacity gay life to semi-rural gay life, so just stayed out. That and I felt like the secret life I was beginning to live was alienating me emotionally from my family and close friends.

Coming out wasn't as hard as the anxiety of planning to come out, or the anxiety build-up of how I thought people would react. For a while after coming out I was trying to manage people's reactions, then I just gave up and let them roll how they would. But in most cases relationships strengthened rather than soured. There is something about truth and honesty that makes people believe in you more. I think it's also known as integrity. People respect that in a person.

I think coming out for personal reasons is just as important as coming out for the good of gay society. More healthy, happy, open gay people mean a better perception of who we really are. Being closeted is a kind of emotional constipation, and when you finally drop that big load in the psychic toilet, you finally feel sooo good inside, and you're pretty much regular thereafter.

Posted by jimbo at 9:28 AM | Comments (11)

October 10, 2007

Burning the Ground

Photo sent to me from Cobban at Lopaka Lounge - an illustration of why we hate those little stickers they put on the apples these days.

For slow or clogged drains I highly recommend Rooto brand drain opener - but please follow the directions. As I write my leg burns from some backsplash, I'm kind of high, and mosquitoes are dying as they try to enter through my open doorway. My beloved basement spiders are all dead (Lloth is not amused) and the burning poison gas cloud roiling out of my home drove away the raccoons too. As I poured it in the clogged drain a burning brown geyser shot up from the drain, but it's no longer clogged. Rooto can be purchased at Logan Hardware.

It's the 17th Annual Reel Affirmations International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival weekend, organized by my former roomate. One of the featured films is Circle of Friends, featuring Bob Mould, on Saturday, October 20 at 11:45 AM in the delightful Lincoln Theatre Only $10, plus a free drink! The festival runs Oct 11 - 20.

As Halloween approaches, size does matter: I watched Lords of the Gourd: the Pursuit of Excellence on PBS the other night. Mark Lewis' The Pursuit of Excellence, a series of four one-hour films, celebrates the ambition, determination and passion of those who pursue distinction in slightly unconventional fields. In Lords of the Gourd, viewers encounter offbeat and endearing growers who tend, pamper and coddle their plants as if they are children, coaxing them to grow to unnatural size.

OMG a blog dedicated to Olivia Newton-John: More Than Physicial from DJ Paul-T, who also gives us Burning the Ground, an 80s and 90s remix blog. Thanks for the link, Stebbins!

Posted by jimbo at 8:10 PM | Comments (6)

October 6, 2007

"normal" - we're all in the same fish tank

In the next couple of weeks Congress might pass HR 2015, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would protect Americans from workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. But a substitute bill has been introduced as HR 3685, which would not stop discrimination based on gender identity.

There has been a lot of good discussions on various blogs both for and against both versions of the bill, and also rumbles of dissent within the organizations that some feel represent the LGBTwhatever community.

xiphophorus_helleri.jpgAs I look over at the swordtail fish in my aquarium, and the guppies in my pond, I recall the stuff I learned about the sexual diversity of fish in college ichthyology class. Depending on the ratio of males to females, age and sexual maturity of the fish in my aquarium, some of them change from female to male, or back again. Other kinds of fish change from male to female when they reach a certain size so they can produce more eggs, which requires more energy and mass to produce than sperm. We even have tranny bass in the Potomac. Some juvenile (but sexually prepared) salmon and sunfish males come to court the females at their nest, pretending to be female as the larger mature males don't always recognize them as competitors. The smaller (but quicker) tranny sunfish or salmon then zips in to the nest, deposits the sperm, and zips out again before the larger males know what's happened. There are a vast range of sexual strategies in the animal world, and most of them are to the benefit of the species as a whole. Quick and tranny, or big and butch? It's not always clear which will work best for the next generation.

Humans are not as subject to hermaphroditism and sex change as fish, but there are hermaphrodite and tranny people out there just as I have tranny fish in my aquarium. Look at the gays - we're different, we were born this way (I think so anyway), and there's a reason why we are this way. Our sexual difference may not be as advantageous depending on the culture, but somehow we happened this way.

I believe transsexuals and hermaphrodites happened that way too. Some people are born one sex but in their mind they know they should be another sex. The 2003 HBO film Normal is about a seemingly "normal" Midwestern factory worker who stuns his family and community by revealing he wants a sex change operation. The acting delivered by Jessica Lange and Tom Wilkinson show the painfully awkward situations that the main character was in, and the film turned my thoughts around on what a transsexual has to go through to deal with what he or she thinks is the right thing to do. Cue it on your Netflicks subscription some time, especially you Heroes fans, as the daughter in the family is played by a young Hayden Panettiere (Claire, the cheerleader).

enda_ad_150x200px.gifAnyway, I want to bring to your attention a community-wide campaign that hopes to keep 'gender identity' protection in bill HR 2015. The campaign, Accept No Substitutes, a parody of Splenda, the artificial sweetener, asks visitors to sign a petition "to tell Congress to support the original ENDA and accept no substitutes!" Your support will help Congress continue to build support for the original ENDA. The well-intended substitute just won't do.

Washington DC's 20th Annual High Heel RaceI know the addition of 'trans' may endanger the survival of the bill, but like homos, trans (and especially hermaphrodites) people can't help being what they are or what they think they need to be, and are subject to workplace discrimination because of their situation. There is a continuum of sexualities amongst humans: most people are dimorphic (straight), some people are gay or lesbian, and a few people are a little in between all of those options. I believe we're all in the same boat - or in this case sharing the same community aquarium.

Besides - you'll have to answer to Charlene if you have a problem with it.

Charlene says: "Thaynk Yew!" for your support on this matter.

Posted by jimbo at 10:30 PM | Comments (11)

October 4, 2007

OMG O.N-J has a new X-Mas album

Try to check out the new ABC television show 'Pushing Daisies' - it's a sassy, smart whodunit with a supernatural twist. It was great fun to watch with a knockout cast, featuring Emerson Cod (Boston Public), Swoosie Kurtz (Broadway, everything else) and Ellen Greene (Little Shop of Horrors, Heroes). It is promise of a clever future in television programming so catch it now before it's cancelled.

Heroes, on the other hand, suxed donkey dix last night - the only interesting part was watching Claire experiment with her powers by scissoring off her pinky toe. As for the rest of the storyline or characters, I didn't care that much. It must have been a filler episode, hopefully to prepare us for a more exciting future episode.

There was another critter incursion into the pond last night, but this time Sean said he witnessed hearing some creature "splashing around" in there when he came home from work, but was unwilling to investigate further into the matter. I asked him if it was human-sized, and he at least confirmed that it was not so big, more like the size of a breadbox. How do I stop a raccoon or possum from doing what they do?

John got Spice Girls tickets for their show in L.A. The Spice Girls are not coming to DC. I'm sending out my unit of pink special forces ninja assassins to slay John and retrieve the tickets for me.

Olivia Newton-JohnOlivia Newton-John will be releasing a new Christmas CD, available November 1st at Target. Between O.N-J, Chaka-Kahn and Annie Lennox, it's hard to keep up with our divas these days. Thanks to Daniel for the tip. You can download your own O.N-J Xanadu desktop wallpaper from Daniel's collection here. Full track list from the album after the break.

Rough trade pic posted because I liked it. Note the subtle curl of fur at the collar.

A MOTHER'S CHRISTMAS WISH ( Featuring Jim Brickman )
SILENT NIGHT ( Featuring Jann Aren )
ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT ( Featuring Michael McDonald )
INSTRUMENT OF PEACE ( Featuring Marc Jordan )
A GIFT OF LOVE ( Featuring Barry Manilow )

Posted by jimbo at 11:06 AM | Comments (19)

September 21, 2007

The Saliva Pit is OVER!

OMG The Saliva Pit at Blowoff is OVER since it was mentioned in this week's print edition of MetroWeekly's Hearsay column. HearSay has a blog now, fyi.

The feature story 'Where to Live' about living in The Domestic District makes no mention of Shaw! I'm hurt...grab a lead pencil and write a bit about the lead flying through the air around here...perhaps it might sound something like this:

A walk along Q Street, NW, going east towards New Jersey Avenue will take you past several not-so-haunted houses, and you're sure to have an interesting chat with the gregarious cluster of young men always orbiting around the corner of 5th and Q. Be sure to say hi! They'll say something back at you, most assuredly. If you're a microbrew fan, try to test your knowledge of malt liquor brands littering the curbs as you peruse the bucolic dwellings on the sycamore-lined street.
There's a new bad boy music venue at Titan's Ramrod this Sunday night:

Sunday September 23, 2007. 3-7 PM
$5.00 Cover Includes 1st Drink Free
$2.00 Domestic Drafts
$2.00 Smirnoff Flavors
Free Clothes Check
@ 1337 14th Street NW
Track list by Mr. Mixtake online here.

The identity of an American mummy found buried in an iron coffin in Columbia Heights has been determined.

I got elbowed in the face tonight...those damn new rugby kids and their flailing elbows...
I'm going to have a black eye at the beach this weekend! It could go in my favor depending on where I go...

Posted by jimbo at 12:16 AM | Comments (7)

September 20, 2007

extreme sub bottom fisting pink sashed fuscia hanky leather boy nutria/capybara seeks same ONLY!

I am about to make some generalizations that will probably get some people upset...

On an innertubing trip this summer I noticed something that kind of stuck in my mind the past couple of months. As all of us were waiting for the shuttle bus to take us to the river, I noted that the only people there with freaky ripped John Basedow abs were the other gay couple in line. The rest of the people registered at least some level of body fat. Eventually I wondered why some of us choose to live with such strict standards. How much time do those people spend running each week? Fat naturally deposits around the tummy, yet for too many people it is the percieved as THE indicator of absolute fitness. Lack of fat there has nothing to do with your cardiovascular fitness, but the gays seem to be obsessed with abs and the Apollo's Belt. I can run, tackle, hit and be hit for 80 minutes, yet I still have a little somethin' to grab around the waist (woof). But despite my true cardiovascular fitness, this is anathema to more than a few gays in tha gay ghetto.

And that's the problem - reaching such a difficult standard is impossible for some, so I think they give up and go 180 degrees in the other direction - the Bear Community - waay over at the other end of the spectrum. "If I can't be ripped I'm going to be obese instead, and stick it to those skinny queens!" Or some guys will go for the outrageously puffy 'roided out look (nice zits). At any point on this triangle, the gays always go overboard and to the extreme. Meanwhile the rest of society is somewhere in the middle.

nutriaAnd the same thing goes for leather or sex. You can't seem to be just have a kink you like to engage in from time to time, you have to be a Supreme Sub Bottom Boy Sex Pig Fistmaster 2002-2005 Mr. DC Overlord Heavily Invested in the Sash Community Purple Croc-Wearing Capybara/Nutria Indentured Servitude Slave leather gay person (looking for same ONLY!) - with a bar code. Sexual moderation seems to be a rarity as well. It's not enough to get it once every couple of weeks, some people feel insecure if they don't get it three times a week - or thrice daily for that matter. I think sometimes The Gays need to pop their head out of the 'hood for some perspective from time to time. I'm not saying straight is right, I'm saying moderation is the key in a lot of things. While life is changing with the predicton of a post-modern gay, we still tend to excessively pigeonhole and too often go to extremes. That is all. That is my opinion. Be moderate, be yourself, don't be a label or an image of what some magazine says you should be. And stop running/eating so much.

"Bitch, I Stole Your Purse," by Wendy the Ho.

Charlene wouldn't put up with that crap.

"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" is now scheduled for May 7, 2010. Production will begin next summer, instead of January. The second film in the franchise, "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian," is scheduled to open May 16.
Sadly, we won't see the return of the delicious villian Jadis, played by TILDA, TILDA, TILDA Swinton, until a couple of prequels later. As I recall we learn about her origin in one of the books about teleporting pools, I forget which book. My favorite in the series was Voyage of the Dawn Treader for some reason. I was bored to tears with the Silver Chair.

Posted by jimbo at 12:16 PM | Comments (15)

September 18, 2007

cue stereotypic downtrodden caucasian fife music

Nellie's Sports Bar gets a shout-out from Matthew Yglesias in The Atlantic online today. Does a gay sports bar mark the advent of the end of straight culture? I personally don't think Nellie's is going to undermine the fabric of heterosexuality any more than I have undermined the fabric of the gay blogosphere for almost 10 years now. Foodie review of Nellie's in the Washington Post.

Speaking of anniversaries, real-live hunky muscledawg-porn-crazed blogger Jocko celebrates his 7th, and mentions the upcoming release of a live-action Iron Man movie feauring Robert Downey, Jr. as the troubled Tony Stark. It is perfect casting considering both the actor and the character have a history of struggles with substance abuse. I'm looking forward to seeing the film. It's been a good time to be a former comic book geek.

AerLingus.jpg I got my plane tickets the other day from Aer Lingus to get over the pond to Dublin for the next Bingham Cup big gay rugby tournament in June 2008. FYI: Lingus has a promotional special at the moment, having recently established new service out of Dulles last month. The next Bingham Cup is gonna be a smash, with lovely mushy peat-based pitches this time. Book your tickets today!
We will be getting jiggy over there, I assure you.

Posted by jimbo at 1:14 PM | Comments (4)

September 17, 2007

Music From and Inspired by the Motion Picture 'Dazzler'

DazzlerI suppose since now that the Spice Girls have gotten together, Xanadu has been made into a real musical, and a Transformers live action film have been made, all my wishes really have come true this summer. It was a good summer for wishes and dreams.

Well, almost all of them. Wouldn't a live-action Dazzler (some-time X-Men team member) movie be awesome? Who do you think would play the best Dazzler? Heidi Klum? (too old by now). If we only had a time machine we could go back and get Farrah Fawcett, pre-Charlie's Angels to play her. Here's a blogger who is obsessed with Dazzler (Thanks John), and the Marvel Team-Up of the Ambiguously Gay Duo and Dazzler.

From Eoghan in Northern Ireland: rugby player's day job as florist. And he's cute too!

My nose is doing better, thanks! I was a little aggro at Blowoff from time to time. I forget how a good game can really keep you high on whatever it is that makes you aggro. I have to watch it in crowded spaces or I want to get people out of my way. Regardless, I had a nice time, but didn't want to mack all that much in the Saliva Pit as I was worried about bumping my nose again and starting a gusher.

My connection to the datasphere has been severed:
Cable 1
Thankfully the siezures have stopped. I still have Internets, but only get Fox and NBC clearly now on TV. It looks like a car's bumper hit the cable, as there's been digging and construction next door. Gonna have to call Comcast to get it fixed. Anyone got a funky wrench to undo fused cables?
Cable 2
More gunshots reported (and I heard it) early Sunday morning at around 2:45am.

This is getting ridiculous. That makes 3 in a week plus 2 arsons nearby. The crack lighting (as opposed to track lighting) was set up over the weekend at 5th and R to try and scare away the gunhappy.

I'll bet Dazzler could kick their asses.

Posted by jimbo at 12:23 PM | Comments (9)

September 12, 2007

Bust up the Grid Bugs & assault the I/O Tower

Thanks for all the suggestions and advice on dealing with the close gathering of similarly-dressed troublesome youth on the corner. FYI, there were gunshots heard down that way on the corner of 5th and Q on Monday evening. I thought it was fireworks (I can never tell the difference). I've been witness to one crack related shooting in my lifetime and I don't want to see another one. It's not pretty, but a lot more bloodless than you'd think. FYI, it's best to walk to Howard University Hospital than to wait for an ambulance or taxi to rescue you. You'll die before they arrive, so it's best to go on foot.

I think at the core of my downer post on living on the wavefront of gentrification is that it's always the same shit, which I'm getting tired of. At two former addresses it was the same process: 1.) problem property; 2.) people get pissed off; 3.) people get together; 4.) problem property goes away by some method.

Light CycleIt's not an issue of how the youth will be moved elsewhere, it's a matter of when. I am confident the menace will be removed. It's not that I don't think something can't be done, I'm just tired of the process, tired of living in lower-rent areas, due mostly because of my income. But down the long road I'm working on the advanced degree, getting more experience at work, which has some promise of allowing a bigger salary, so that I may one day live away from such bullshit. I don't think it's my job to have to deal with this shit, but I can if I have to. Sadly, I live in a city where the cops can't seem to get their shit together to bust a crack-dealing gang without the help of local citizens. They know they are criminals, they know their only destination is jail, so they're just gonna party until that day comes.

Tron GeekAnyway, OMG there's a remake/follow-up to Tron in the works! Link thanks to Martina Gurlatalova, the rice gene queen, who freaks out every time I link to her.

Did you know that Bruce Boxleitner is married to Melissa Gilbert?

Over the weekend somebody told me I was "emotionally distant". A few years ago somebody told me I was "needy". I can't please everyone.

Chris Crocker has all the answers one really needs in life. Get ready for a chorus of Chicken Littles who are freaked out that such a femme guy "misrepresents the community!!!" He puts himself out there, no one elected him leader of all femme gays. Personally, if I became President of the United States of America with Oprah Winfrey as my VP, Chris Crocker would be my Karl Rove.

Posted by jimbo at 1:03 PM | Comments (10)

August 30, 2007

The Invasion: just not the same without pods

There's something creepy about pods - milkweed pods, okra, pea pods, alien pods. Sadly, pods are absent in the film The Invasion, and so is any discernable accent between either Daniel Craig or Nicole Kidman. Plus it's directed by Joel Silver, so it sucks. But of course the film has plenty of unnecessary explosions and a car chase. The only redeeming quality of the movie was to try and spot where the scenes in DC were filmed. "OMG that's my MetroRail station where the crackhead pees every morning!"

In reference to the Larry Craig scandal, Patrick asks: "I'm sometimes a little behind the times...why is bathroom crusing called "tearoom?" I forwarded the question to tearoom historian JoeMyGod, who responds:

"Some say that "tearoom" originated in England as a polite way of not saying "toilet room" and that the proper way to write it would be "T-room". That's sort of right, but while the expression IS English in origin, it comes from the archaic English reference to urine as "tea", therefore a place where one urinates is a "tearoom."

Thanks for clearing that up, Joe!

I think the inclusion of both Scary Spice and Marie Osmond on "Dancing with the Stars" is totally unfair to competing rap stars, football players, and people like Jerry Springer who have no previous professional dancing experience. But I'm gonna watch it anyway.

Posted by jimbo at 10:52 PM | Comments (8)

August 29, 2007

August is Trolltastic!

What's going on around here this month, a Creepy Lying Troll Festival?

"I am not gay. I have never been gay."

- Senator and Lying Troll Larry Craig, (R) Idaho after being caught cruising for sex in Union Station and in a Minneapolis airport bathroom

Either on the Internet or in public bathrooms, it has been a virtual blizzard of creepy troll drama this month.

I'll have to admit, when I was about 19 and just coming out, the cruisy bathroom in the basement of the college library was where I had my first man-on-man sexual contact. In lonlier areas of Wisconsin, those kinds of cruisy spots are the only place where some closeted people know where to get it on with another guy. But I suspected there were healthier outlets, like bars, campus support groups, and counseling if need be, and checked them all out instead of choosing tearoom cruising which I consider a soulless way to get some sex, completely devoid of identity or intimacy. 16 years later I live in a fairly tolerant city with healthier options for socialization with other gays like me. DC is a city filled to the brim with educated, well-traveled, intelligent gay men where you are able to fall into a like-minded group of true friends who are out and [relatively] mentally healthy. It doesn't have to be all about sex, and friends will take care of you when times are down, be a good sounding board for you when you need advice, or otherwise do the things friends do.

But for others, gay sex is only about the act, and they disassociate that act with their identity. But they still can't resist that biological call, so they retain that minimal view of what being gay is.

Brendan made a fascinating comment on the topic yesterday:

"I had a friend who worked at the Crew Club in the mid 90's. He said when the Republicans took over congress in '94, they had a whole new crowd of customers (mostly young staffers, lawyers, etc) in their establishment, many of which had to be taught the basics of safer sex."

In other words, a clique of white men in power no different than brothers on the down-low here in DC. They have sex with men, but don't associate themselves with a 'gay' identity, and don't do the research on issues that affect gay men (safer sex, etc.), and think they are immune or outside of issues that affect gay men.

So I guess Larry didn't have the right group of friends, being on the down-low. He got caught once in Union Station and the news made it into several blogs, but seemed to get passed over in the mainstream media, who are beginning to catch on to the cognitive dissonance of a man in power who legislated consistently against issues affecting gays.

I'm guessing he does have a group of gay peers, all of whom shared his same values and beliefs - do what you have to do on the down-low, but do what you think others think you should do with your legislative acts.

Weatherwoof has similar sentiments with more froth on top! I'll have to admit, after thinking about his public denials about his tearoom behavior and denying being gay, I have reason to be just as pissed off as anyone. Larry Craig and his fucking hypocrite buddies are gay, but working hard against any issues that would help those gay men who are out and far more mentally and emotionally healthy than he is.

Posted by jimbo at 9:23 AM | Comments (11)

August 24, 2007

silly mammalian labels

Uff da - my legs ache mighty bad today from last night's practice. I was on the opposition of a 15-man team, and we only had about 7 providing defense. That meant me stopping a lot of big fat bears as best I could. We have a lot of new recruits though, which is nice. People are starting to buzz about the Mark Bingham Cup in Dublin in June 2008. It's going to be a pretty penny to get there, but their fields (pitches) and facilities will certainly be better than the last tournament, which was basically in a circuit party format, replete with lube stands at pitchside. I didn't get that part.

I didn't mean to imply in yesterday's post about genuine Midwestern friendliness that any behavior south of the Wisconsin/Illinois border is necessarily rude. I was talkin' about the I-95 'tude that you get around here. I LOVE good Southern boy charm, opening doors for people, being polite to your mamma and all that. I hear tell it's an act, but it works on me, hook, line and sinker. Southern gentlemen are an exotic species in the Northern states. Midwesterners are friendly, Southern boys are polite (usually). Then when they move here something sucks out their souls and makes them unfriendly and impolite. Heavy metals in the water, perhaps?

I thought this was funny:
the drama llama

Llamas make a very nasal hum of concern when they're annoyed. Then they spit green goo on you. I didn't think they were worth the wool, I prefer my goldfish who don't spit on me.

Yes, I have viewed the YouTube video link and website for the new Bear band sensation BearForce1. Thank you for notifying me. I don't think this is the last we'll hear from them, as I think the breeders are gonna eat that shit up like they embraced The Village People. Not that I mind, as that act of acceptance will be the deathknell of both BearForce1 and the entire Bear scene. Then we can all brush off our hands and be who we want to be - sans silly mammalian labels.

Posted by jimbo at 1:17 PM | Comments (2)

July 27, 2007

Friday Sheep Miscellany

The Wonder Bread FactoryAdditional evidence that Shaw Is Where It's At: fun DC DJ and club owner (Tracks, Nation) Ed Bailey has announced plans to open a new gay dance club in Shaw. Will it be in the Wonder Bread factory near the North exit of the Shaw/Howard MetroRail station off the Sux Donkey Dix Green Line at 7th & S Streets?

While I wouldn't want to be a neighbor with the thrumming 132 beats-per-minute late into Sunday morning, The Gays in DC are in dire need of additional habitat, and it would be nice to have a club to be able to walk to. Please, do your part to help The Gays restore gay habitat in DC. Says Ed:

"It is a large-scale dance club and it's conveniently located in the Cardozo/Shaw neighborhood of Northwest D.C. We are doing our diligence to get everything in order and get everything finalized and officially stamped."

Update: my sources tell me it's not the Wonder Bread Factory, which is too bad. I was hoping for primary color polka-dot decor. And of course I know it's not Nellie's. To quote Nellie's proprietor: "Duh."

Mystery solved: dreamboat guy with dimples in black shirt is this blogger. Match the dimples and wish him a happy birthday. Cute, and he likes Star Trek too. That's totally hot.

As if standing next to a person who is text messaging wasn't boring enough, we can now document our mundane texting online on this thingy called Twitter. All the bears are doing it, OMG.

Skwurl is going away to Fire Island this weekend for the first time ever. Those bitches are gonna tear him apart. To celebrate his debut, we watched a bad copy of Black Sheep, since they're never gonna release that film in the U.S. We followed the screening with a shearing so the Fire Island sheep don't freak out at his back fur. I cried when I clipped it off, but the debutante had to be shorn.

Posted by jimbo at 10:32 AM | Comments (13)

July 16, 2007

lesbian softball gangs invade Saturday Blowoff

Will the fun ever end this summer? It was a busy weekend to be Jimbo with a party in Baltimore at Rob and Dax' Luau, an off-the-hook Blowoff that evening (there will be tales told), D&D on Sunday and a riveting mid-term take-home exam that evening to top off the excitement with balance sheets and costs of good souls.

Sarah came out of the ether and immersed herself into the naughty Bear mob at Blowoff. I think she came with her lesbian gang for protection, one of the 150 purported lesbian gangs in DC according to Fox news. Does Fox include women's rugby and softball teams in the count? If so, I suppose they're right then.

Apparently the Xanadu musical is breaking records at the Helen Hayes theatre. Most reviews are a lot more enthusiastic than mine. I thought it was fun, but it's apparently a breath of fresh air on Broadway this season. I told you so...

Jocko has some yummy wallpaper for you today - go check it out. JockoHomo Challenge - can you find the difference in the photo below and that of the previous entries' image?
subliminal scruff
Clever photomanipulation by Jocko.

This weekend was the first weekend in a month where I was finally feeling healthier. I'm very happy to see a month of blank entries on the upcoming month's calendar weekends. Summer is for fun, but also for relaxing and regenerating.

Posted by jimbo at 3:19 PM | Comments (10)

July 12, 2007

My pet gay Amazonian dolphins practice 'skullfucking'

Here's my pet gay Amazonian dolphins, Squeaker and Pixie, exhibiting the popular dolphin passtime of 'skullfucking':
My pet gay Amazonian dolphins
From "AGAINST NATURE? - an exhibition on animal homosexuality," at the The Natural History Museum, University of Oslo until August 19, 2007.

Yes, there's a gay animal museum out there. Something needs to counter the Creation Museum. Seriously though, sex in the animal kingdom goes waaay beyond just a male and female getting it on. The sexes of the swordtail fish in my aquarium change depending on the composition of their school.

This weekend there's a big giant veterinary convention in DC, the Annual Meeting of the American Veterinary Medical Association. The Lesbian and Gay Veterinary Medical Association (LGVMA) is sponsoring Professor Joan Roughgarden of Stanford University to present the keynote lecture titled “Sexual Diversity in the Animal Kingdom” at the LGVMA’s Annual Meeting scheduled for Sunday, July 15, 2007 from 12 Noon to 2pm at the JW Marriott Hotel in the Capitol Ballroom FG, located at 1331 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.

Let's all go and learn about why gay Amazonian dolphins practice 'skullfucking'. It'll be fun.

More about this lecture after the break...

Lesbian and Gay Veterinary Medical Association (LGVMA)
584 Castro Street #492
San Francisco, CA 94114
Ken Gorczyca DVM 415-860-6157
Michael McElvaine DVM 202 492-3021
E-mail: LGVMA@lgvma.org

LGVMA sponsors special lecture: “Sexual Diversity in the Animal Kingdom with Joan Roughgarden”

Washington, DC, June 11, 2007- The Lesbian and Gay Veterinary Medical Association is sponsoring Professor Joan Roughgarden of Stanford University to present the keynote lecture titled “Sexual Diversity in the Animal Kingdom” at the LGVMA’s Annual Meeting scheduled for Sunday, July 15, 2007 from 12 Noon to 2PM at the JW Marriott Hotel in the Capitol Ballroom FG, located at 1331 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC. This ground-breaking lecture will take place during the Annual Meeting of the American Veterinary Medical Association. It is believed that this is the first such lecture on this interesting topic to take place at national veterinary meeting in the United States. This event is partially sponsored by grants from the PETCO Foundation; Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS); PETS, DC; Wag Hotels; and Pets Unlimited Veterinary Hospital and Shelter.

Roughgarden will speak about sexual diversity in the animal kingdom, including zoological aspects of homosexuality in domestic animals and humans. “This talk is especially timely,” Roughgarden says, “in view of the Oslo Museum exhibit on homosexuality and animals that opened in 2006, which has been widely reported in the press. It would be wonderful if all the information on domesticated animals could be folded into the wider zoological picture that is emerging. What is coming out now is to the rest of the animal kingdom what the Kinsey Report was to humans.”

Professor Roughgarden has authored many books, including, Evolution’s Rainbow: Diversity, Gender and Sexuality in Nature and People and has been published in Science and other scientific journals. This discussion is not a rebuttal of the central idea of natural selection, but an extension of Darwin’s explanation of the mechanism of sexual selection. She draws on a huge range of animal studies to illustrate the diversity of forms of sexual activity in nature, and in doing so challenges a number of key assumptions of neo-Darwinism. In species ranging from fruit flies to lizards and primates she finds behaviors that include same-sex sexual play, sexual switching between male and female, multiple sexes and genders and reproductive behavior requiring more than the commonly expected single male and single female genders to achieve reproductive success and much else besides. Although some scientists are critical, Roughgarden is quoted as being “not altogether surprised” by the volume of dissent, and has pointed out that her team had refuted most of the criticisms. Throughout history, science has tended to have blind spots that are later proven true.

Join this ground-breaking lecture for the veterinary community from 12-1:30 PM followed by questions and open discussion from 1:30-2:00 PM. We are scheduling a book signing following the lecture sponsored by Lambda Rising Bookstore. Press interviews are available between 11:00-12:00 PM at the JW Marriott. Please contact Tim Withers, DVM to schedule an interview or for more information at 703-812-4795 or lgmva@lgvma.org.

Posted by jimbo at 10:27 AM | Comments (10)

July 10, 2007

Some talking points to the media for Night Out with the Nationals

I don't speak for the nice people who organized the "Night OUT with the Washington Nationals" on Monday, July 16th, but I think some talking points need to be addressed before the event, from the point of view of an average gay on the street (moi) before the media picks it up and subsequently fucks the story up in order to sell papers. Most of the time they photograph and quote the most obnoxious people on either side, while the quiet ones in the middle eating popcorn getting ignored. Pull out your notepads all you journalists, and take note:

See, there's been some mean 'ol Christians running around ruining things for everybody again at other city Night Out events. The modus operandi for these people is to 1.) Find gays having fun; 2.) Show up with their moobs proudly displayed; 3.) Ruin all the fun for gays and straights alike with their sourpuss faces and their nasty-ass moobs. And they keep yammering on and on about stuff like this:

"Homosexuality is a sin,and promoting it with a Pride Night when thousands of kids are also going to be (at the ballpark) is wrong. So we took a moral stand. We're not anti-gay. We're anti-anti-Christian."

First off, the gays aren't promoting homosexuality at this event, the team is doing a marketing promotion. And honey, they need all the help they can get with attendance this year... See, when we're not eating babies, ruining heterosexual marriages, or gnawing at the pillars of civilization, we do things like going to baseball games, movies, or grilling asparagus wrapped in bacon. Sometimes, we're really quite boring and unfabulous like that.

"These so-called 'gay pride' events are often debauched affairs of gross and inappropriate displays of public affection."

When I'm not stuffing my face with nasty hot dogs, delicious cotton candy or flat beer, I might peck the cheek of a friend. But there is no open assfucking at RFK stadium (as far as I know), so relax.

I had a nice time at last year's Night Out with the Nationals - mostly because there were a lot of friends around and it was an opportunity to watch a game, eat cotton candy, and drink overpriced beer. There is no hidden agenda here, we're just getting together to do something fun in the summer. But I suppose that's what the nutbag hyper-Christians have a problem with - we should not be allowed to enjoy ourselves at a baseball game like the "normal" people. I would like to make a shout-out to all those quiet moderate people who consider themselves Christian to have a word with these people on our behalf, like Robert Davila said:

"Values start and are taught in the home. Just because you see a bum on the street doesn't turn you into a bum."

Well, I don't think a homeless analogy is the most flattering, but all we really want to do is go watch a baseball game.

Posted by jimbo at 3:41 PM | Comments (18)

July 5, 2007

OMG fireworks

The problem with having lived in DC for 10 years and been part of a couple of all-gay athletic teams or organizations is that I will ultimately hit on someone I know on Manhunt. It's not deathly embarrassing, just awkward at times:

Me: "Grrrr. Woof!"
HotHairyDCstud: "Hi Jimbo. It's me, Greg."
Me: "Oh jeez...."

Tomorrow I leave for NYC via the Jew Bus to see Xanadu on Saturday. I am hosted by Joe.My.God and will be going to the show with super-hot Aaron. My head will probably explode with excitement. It was good knowing you all, but I will die a happy gay.

Yesterday's recap: OMG fireworks. I did laundry too.

I am getting a lot of work done today, actually. Everyone is gone at work so no one is pestering me.

Posted by jimbo at 2:04 PM | Comments (11)

June 14, 2007

Linus Loves

I'm dog/cat/housesitting in Takoma this week. Here's Linus:
Linus Loves
Linus basically walks himself and pees on a regular schedule in previously designated locations. The hardest part is meeting the needs of the very needy cat who must have human contact at all times. Other than that, I'm doing the whole Takoma / Silver Spring thing and will be attending a Silverdocs movie on Friday night and drinking coffee at a lesbian coffee shop and letting my leg hair grow out like everyone else around here.

I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters feat. Linus Loves
Look On The Floor - Bananarama (They look well-preserved!)
Stand Back - Linus Loves feat. Sam Obernik (and dreamy dancer in video)

Pride Of PetsAt the campus where I work we recently received a memo about something called "Campus Based Privileges for Designated Individuals," that is, peope who are designated by a university employee, who are 18 years old or older, reside continuously with the employee, and is not in a landlord/tenant relationship with the employee. Examples of such individuals include spouses, domestic partners, and adult children of employees. I call this "domestic partnership lite," as the designated individuals get use of library, fitness center, health center, counseling center, daycare and thank Zod use of the university golf course!

The above stated "designated individuals" do not get health care benefits or tuition remission. While the memo is a welcomed first step towards full parnership benefits, it still infers that a "designated individual" is not the same as a spouse. The tone of the memo says to me "We will give you some of the benefits that we get, but you don't get all of them because you're not like us, and you aren't worthy of the benefits our spouses get." In other words, the memo says that same-sex partners are not the same as married opposite sex couples. Fuck you too, assholes.

Anyhow, speaking of pets, Pets-DC is hosting their annual Pride of Pets doggie show and pageant at 3pm this Saturday the 16th. All you Flickr freaks should enjoy the opportunity for cute doggie pics.

Posted by jimbo at 11:09 AM | Comments (18)

June 11, 2007

Struggling with Pride

Grrr!In this morning's copy of the Washington Post Express edition were more dumb comments questioning the continued validity of gay pride parades and festivals. Pride is valid if only for an excuse to have our own holiday and party. Don't you think you're worth your own holiday? Joe.My.God also provides some more sound reasons to continue the festivities.

While I'm not crazy about parades (my back starts to hurt when I stand too long) I do like to go down to the festival because I usually see lots of friends from way back and today. It is a gathering of people with at least one thing in common. Otherwise many of us don't have that much in common.

And the truly sinful food options expand every year. This year I was able to buy bubble tea AND a Nutella/banana crepe at the same booth! Although I'll wager the incidents of grease fire particulate-induced lung cancer will increase in the gay community due to all the food vendors at the festival.

And we still need to have a pride festival at least until they one day serve batterfried cheese curds at one of the vendor booths.

Hey you gay pet owners: leave your dogs at home! Do you know how hot it is down there near the blacktop? And hot blacktop hurts doggie feet, and who knows how many doggie feet get stepped on in the crowd. We know you love your dog and your dog is very proud that you're gay, but if it's a hot day leave your dog at home.

Pride gives you an excuse to be Fierce!

Pride gives you an excuse to wear blast goggles, like Fitz:
Fitz & the Capitol Building

Pride gives you an excuse to hang out with furry people like yourself.
Buncha Bears

Pride gives your straight teammates an opportunity to help out.
Buncha Beers

And like I wrote earlier, Pride gives you the opportunity to greet longtime friends who will then pick you up and start humping you:
Bear Attack
I like the expression on Matt's face (at right) in the above pic.

Posted by jimbo at 11:29 AM | Comments (6)

June 7, 2007

Happy DC Pride Weekend!

Everybody have a good DC Pride Festival weekend. Try to act like the gentleman shown below as much as possible, because you can and should be able to, just because:

Even if you consider yourself to be "straight-acting" or "masc" (and actually are in reality), you should still be able to act as flamey as you would like. That is the point of gay pride celebrations. We act this way because we can, and I suck dick because I like it. It just happens to feel right.

Seen on The Banal Chew, originally from Star Trek Inspirational Posters.

Verizon still Sux Donkey Dick. They actually admitted on the phone today that I didn't need to be home yesterday. A repairman showed up, checked the outdoor box, declared that it worked, and left without knocking on my door. The phone still doesn't work and they had the gall to tell me how to test it myself. It doesn't work, send someone to install/fix, please? Do I have to beg? I guess so. Verizon, you will pay some day, I assure you, one way or another. No gay pride for you because you suck.

Posted by jimbo at 4:16 PM | Comments (9)

May 22, 2007

leprechauns in the dust

My rugby team is composed of about 49% gay men, 49% straight men

...and two leprechauns:

do a jig

Groundbreaking research finds that if you slow down a Kylie Minogue song it sounds like George Michael. Some queens have far too much time on their hands. But I'm just jealous. Imagine if you could harness that curiosity into more scientific innovation - queens would rule the world and/or take off into space and settle down in a distant galaxy.

Posted by jimbo at 2:23 PM | Comments (6)

May 19, 2007

A Scrum or two on the Potomac

Today we played some fun rugby in the shadow of the Washington Monument the Washington Renegades Rugby Football Club Scrum on the Potomac tournament.
Washington Monument
Photos by Gurl. Someone from the White House was totally cruising us while we were playing:
Here's me pouting (photo by OMG DJ TM) when I realized those I had invited to watch were not coming:
Where my bitches at?
"Dewey" was kind enough to join us after two on our team got injured. She played the 'hooker' position and held her own amongst the gurls and boys:
Three Amigas
"Umm...'scuse me, but that ball is mine."
"Umm...'scuse me?"
"HEY GURL! WHAT'S SHAKIN'?" That's Stefan to my right:
"Hey Gurl!"
It was a nice day for rugby, breezy and somewhat cool. Now it's time for a shower and a nap.
battle injuries
Scrape from rugby that looks a little redder without the whitening flash. I get a tetanus shot every year, but I suppose I could still contract anthrax from scraping it in the dirt.

Posted by jimbo at 6:36 PM | Comments (6)

May 17, 2007

Happy Syttende Mai!

OMG DJ TM™ is hawt. So is the one to his left. Photos by Joe Tresh. Grrrr!

Speaking of whores and harlots, the Washington Renegades Rugby Football Club is having a 'harlotfest' tournament this Saturday morning starting at 10ish at the field behind the Holocaust Museum*. A harlotfest is where players are somewhat randomly assigned to their team, as opposed to playing on a team they have practiced with.

It'll be one of the last easily accessible matches of the season, so come watch. Social to follow at Titan.

If that isn't butch enough for you, don't miss The Great Big International Drag King Show 007 at the 9:30 Club on Saturday night, the featured entertainment event for the Gender Public Advocacy Coalition's 2007 GenderYOUTH Leadership Summit.

*Raoul Wallenberg Field (3 blocks West of Smithsonian Metro on the Blue/Orange Line; or 15th and C St. SW between Independence Ave and Maine Ave SW Washington, DC)

Posted by jimbo at 8:07 AM | Comments (2)

May 14, 2007

starting rumours

This week's redesign is in honor of Syttende Mai, the Norwegian version of Cinco de Mayo, but not as much fun, and on the 17th of May. Eat pickled herring (or lutefisk if you're hardcore), practice your rosemaling and be generally stoic and unemotional. I'm trying to tap into my Nordic half but the Irish keeps seeping through.

Isn't Crown Prince Haakon a høttie? He has a bit of an adorkable element to him, and oddly hazel eyes for a Norwegian.

Thanks to all you killjoys who crushed my hopes of a Kylie Minogue appearance on Dr. Who. Can't a gay geek have a little hope? I've decided I'm going to start similar rumours:

- Olivia Newton-John joins the cast of Battlestar Galactica in Season 4 as Lucy Lawless' skinjob replacement, the most evil Cylon yet: Kira. Not even Six can contend with her fierceness;

- Stevie Nicks guest stars as a long-lost great aunt in a two-hour Charmed reunion to engage in a massive spellbattle against an evil reincarnation of Shannen Doherty;

- Whitney Houston stars in a revisit of the Touched by an Angel series as Della Reese's illegitimate crack baby, all grown up and saving souls;

- Cyndi Lauper reprises her role from Vibes as Sylvia Pickel, mentor to Patricia Arquette's character in Medium. Jeff Goldlbum makes a guest appearance.

Did anyone catch the cast of Heroes on the Today show this morning? Adrain Pasdar had a big black woofy goatee. Grrrr.

So like Hiro showed us all how easy it is to become a Kensai sword master tonight, as long as Mr. Sulu is your sensei. It's that easy. George Takei has experience you know.

Posted by jimbo at 8:55 PM | Comments (10)

May 12, 2007

Kylie + Dr. Who = massive gay/geek-out explosion

Isaac Mendez' "Burning Man" painting from HeroesThis is what happens when somebody puts the words "Olivia Newton-John" and "Battlestar Galactica" in the same sentence within earshot - I explode in a massive conflagration of gayness and geekiness.

The same catastrophe could happen in DC when I see the new Dr. Who episode featuring Kylie Minogue:

"In a Can't Get You Out Of My Tardis-tastic development, Kylie Minogue was very recently overheard by a mole at a party confirming that she is definitely going to be appearing in a future episode of 'Doctor Who'.

Now, it's hardly a secret that 'Doctor Who' has a large gay following (and no, we don't mean a flamboyant equivalent of the Comic Book Guy), or that the papers have been speculating that the teeny-tiny, cancer-surviving, boyfriend-shedding popstrel will be appearing on the show, but this is the first time there's been definite proof, and all from the brave singing budgie's own Botoxed mouth.

And what forced her to make her appearance on the show? A personal visit from Davros? A chilly encounter with the Ice Warriors? An unfortunate incident with a Dalek and its plunger? No, it's all to please her hotpant-wielding stylist, William Baker."

Original artwork from the NBC show Heroes, by comic book artist Tim Sale, who is interestingly color blind.

This is what happens when you download too much porn from the Internets:
PC crash
It is possible that this PC may have held the DNA sequnce of the infamous Goatman of Maryland.

Today I got up at an ungodly hour to participate in the International Migratory Bird Day Bird Count (Census) at The Henry A. Wallace Beltsville Agricultural Research Center in Beltsville, Maryland. I took many pictures.
National Agricultural Library (NAL)
Here is the horrid architecture of The National Agricultural Library (NAL) nearby.

The 'green' tree swallow, which nests in tree cavities or even bluebird next boxes. Its iridescent green color shifts from blue to green depending on the light situations. In utter darkness, were you able to see this bird, its colored portions would appear black. The color is from refraction, not pigment, sorta like how glacial ice appears blue.
Green Tree Swallow
A scarlet tananger, differentiated from the summer tananger by its black wings and tail:
Scarlet Tananger
A wasp or a hornet, I'm not sure, but it was very big:
Honeybee populations are falling at an alarming rate. It’s very Children of Men (to quote Eric), but with bees. Bees perform an important service in pollinating agricultural crops. It is possible that every time you text "OMG" on your cell phone, a honeybee dies.
Honeybee Hive
At the very least, I die a little each time, especially if you text message on the dance floor.

Most of the hives were vacant.

Posted by jimbo at 7:46 PM | Comments (7)

May 7, 2007

Gamer Insurgency Threatens Hasbro Stock

Sorry about the schitzo wallpaper changes. I guess I've been in the mood for some color lately. Spice Up Your Life! The Queen is in town.

Earlier this month Paizo Publishing and Wizards of the Coast announced the conclusion of Paizo’s license to produce DRAGON and DUNGEON magazines effective September 2007. All the geeks are upset that the popular gaming supplement magazines will be discontinued, but I'm guessing some other publishing house will take up the slack. There's nothing like having mouldering hard copies of old tomes to look back into for ideas. PDFs are great, but I know I enjoy receiving my monthly geek magazine in the mailbox, and others do too.

In case you ever wondered if Duran Duran could save us from yakuza crime lords and kaiju attacks, here's proof:

I knew all it took was a flick of the wrist, and you can stop ninjas with a hi-hat. Here's the live version.

Has anyone located a clean copy of the Battlestar Galactica season finale version of Bob Dylan's "All Along the Watchtower"? I want to put it on my iPod and pretend I can hear music in the walls and have eerie suspicions that I'm a toaster. UPDATE: there will be a relsease of a Galactica soundtrack album in August to coincide with the Direct-to-DVD movie. That soundtrack will feature the BT4 version of the Bob Dylan song ‘All Along The Watchtower’.

But I want it NOW!

Ice Spiders on SciFi Channel June 9: "They throught Melrose Place had vicious backbiting. They haven't seen anything yet." It stars Patrick Muldoon and VANESSA WILLIAMS OMG OMG OMG!

One Michigan law student's offer and acceptance letter to Sauron: "It seems to me that's really two, maybe three separate offers. The first seems to be unambiguously an offer for a unilateral contract (to find the supposedly piddling ring for three of the Dwarf rings of power plus the estate of Moria), to be completed by performance. Dáin wouldn't want to bind himself to produce a ring; it's too risky. This seems like the straight-forward reward scenario envisioned as a prototypical offer for a unilateral contract."

Overheard at a gay Dungeons and Dragons gaming session, Lily the Druid (played by a gay man, of course) speaks up: "I'm gonna fuck that bitch up with my spectral Dinosaur Stampede* spell."

* Dinosaur Stampede: Lvl. 6 Druid spell, Evocation [force]; Range: medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level).

Posted by jimbo at 9:14 PM | Comments (2)

April 30, 2007


An ode to Manhunt and other online hookup sites:

ThisTall2ride.jpgMasc/musc/mil, masc/musc/mil,
Every time I read it I feel sorta ill.
Makes me think that I've kinda had my fill
of gays requiring guys to be 'masc/musc/mil'.

"Masc" stands for "masculine"
- it's really hard to find.
But a guy who's happy as-is
has a more contented mind.

"Musc" means "muscular"
which rymes with "crepuscular."
She wants us all to fuss for her
but her hole is too pustular.

"Mil" is for "Military,"
which we have a lot to spare,
in DC, and The Beltway,
they all have buzzcut hair.

But good guys come in all types
so don't limit your choice,
you'll miss out on the one guy
you passed with a femme voice.

I guess I shouldn't judge
but not to point out names:
They write: "No Fats, No Fems, No Fakes -
and most of all: NO GAMES!"

Posted by jimbo at 3:25 PM | Comments (17)

April 12, 2007

domestic partnership benefits between the coasts

HRC take note: here is the voice of middle America on the issue of same-sex partnership benefits. The county where I was born in Wisconsin just voted to extend same-sex partnership benefits for county employees. Now back in November the state voted against gay marriage, at a larger margin for the amendment than Virginia.

The fascinating part of the article is when you scroll down and read the discourse in the wildly unmoderated comments section. Most of it is from the heart, but very misguided and ignorant. Many anonymous commenters against the new contract that extends same- and opposite-sex partnerships to LaCrosse County employees are voicing a lot of basic misunderstanding about the law itself:

- A misunderstanding of the legal aspects of a long-term partnership - that is, proving or providing documentation that you've lived with someone for some time and have shared expenses - that partnership is not just having a roomate;
- A lack of awareness that it is for county employees only and does not extend to private company, state or federal employment;
- Ignoring the preexisting benefits enjoyed by married couples that same-sex couples do not, and cannot, receive legally in the state, leading to the circular argument that unmarried couples should not get benefits;
- Presumption that same-sex partners are unworthy of partnership benefits, or that they are at a higher risk of disease and thus draining the healthcare or benefits pool;
- Ye Olde Argument that because gays are immoral that they deserve no recognition or benefits;
- Equating residency with a pet with residency with a same-sex partner. e.g. a gay human has the same value to them as a cat.

In short, all of the above misunderstandings and biases are very basic points of awareness and knowlege about homos, marriage, and partnership benefits. These basic foundations that relate to the issue of gay marriage, partnership benefits and fairness are lost to a lot of these people - because the knowledge and awareness has not been fed to them through awareness or education campaigns before the legislation has been introduced. From the activists and organizations here in Washington, the cart is often put before the horse.

And frankly, heterosexuals have a right not to get married too, but after a while and shared expenses, should be getting the same benefits as married couples. In the office next door to me is a world-renowned scientist who has a long-term opposite-sex partner, but they are not married for whatever reason. And its their business not to get married if they don't want to. But it is relatively easy for opposite-sex partners to get these benefits with a visit to the justice of the peace, but impossible for most same-sex partners.

Anyway, like I've written before, I think there is a lot of basic groundwork that has to be put down before the general populace between the coasts and outside of major metropolitan areas can grasp the idea of same-sex partnership benefits or even marriage. They don't know us, don't know the difference between the benefits of marriage versus a ceremonial wedding, and are frightened and unnerved by the idea of same-sex unions. Pushing legislation that people don't understand about a group they don't understand is progressive and helpful to gays, but more often premature and damaging.

Posted by jimbo at 1:46 PM | Comments (10)

April 4, 2007

The 300 Hottie Factory

The 300 was bloody good fun, with cheesy lines delivered with full-testosterone action by Gerard Butler as King Lionidas. My favorite Spartan was Leonidas' short, scruffy, blond sidekick and narrator Dilios, played by David Wenham who sadly lost one of his baby blues in the battle, but kind of talks too much. But he's like a bard and narrator, so I guess I'll have to put up with his monologues in bed. TJ liked one of the cowardly Arcadians who looked like Jake Dakota's dad, apparently. While all of The 300 had nice scruff, their buff humps were not covered by fur, but still fun to look at.

So apparently Xerxes was a giant drag queen, with an army of Africans, Mongol-looking people, and lots of mean deformed people too. And he was probably the reason the Dire Rhinoceros' went exctinct since he used them in battle but the Spartans killed them all. Oh, and he had wizards with grenades, and the Spice Girls were in his orgy entourage too.

Everyone in Leonidas' army was cut, buff, bearded but with no body hair to speak of. They also had incredibly big mouths, and roared a lot too. Not that's a bad thing. And that's how The 300 went.
Rock Creek Parkway tunnel
I was taking pictures the other day and here's one of my favorite rushes - biking through the tunnel on the Rock Creek Parkway near the National Zoo. You're supposed to walk your bike through it but that's no fun.

Posted by jimbo at 10:45 PM | Comments (6)

March 31, 2007

voodoo works!

Friday evening I was messing around with my camera, Flickr and booty brought from Arizona to create a small Mayan-Santería-Voodoo shrine to ensure the spirits were on our side for a win in today's rugby match:
santeria voodoo shrine for rugby domination
The sun and moon loteria candles bring me power from the heavens, the clay ruggers bring camraderie to the team, while the rugby ball sees me as I see it - illuminated and as one.

And it worked! We won against our competitive rivals from Aberdeen, Maryland - Renegades 13, North Bay 7. And such a win is especially delicious when someone on the opposing team calls my teammate a 'faggot' during said game, making the victory that much sweeter.

Geek Alert: there's a new comic book store on 14th Street just next to Sparky's cafe. It's called Big Monkey Comics at 1722-B (2nd floor) 14th St., NW.

Here is an interesting crosswalk design nearby Big Monkey Comics intended to designate a clear pedestrian area to enhance the customer flow to businesses around the 14th and S Street areas, NW DC. 14th St. is otherwise a wide impassable street that isn't conducive to a walkable neighborhood area.
santeria voodoo shrine for rugby domination

Posted by jimbo at 5:43 PM | Comments (4)

March 19, 2007

human cognition probably takes place at an automatic level

Photo by OMG DJ TM™ of me and my dearest friend Jon being freaks together, as we do so well:
Me and my dearest friend Jon being freaks together

So like TJ finally calls me back, albeit on the busiest work day of the year, miraculously catching me in the office in a brief moment of lucidity from the day's madness...

Phone: ring, ring...
Jimbo: (hysterical work phone voice) "Hello! This is Jim!!!"
TJ: "OMG so like what happened at Blowoff?!?!"
Jimbo: "Umm...wouldn't you like to know, betch..."
TJ: "Oh yeah, I was in hibernation after eating some blueberries and didn't make it out of bed that day..."
Jimbo: "Yeah well nothin' really happened...I was really drunk and was hitting on this hot friend of Tos' named Jed but I think he was scared of me..."
TJ: "Well, you sounded drunk on the phone..."
Jimbo: "I was a little loud I think...the Spring Aura of Desperation is in full effect."
TJ: "So, like did anyone ask about me?"
Jimbo: "Yeah, and I told them you were dead to me."
TJ: "Well yeah but like I mean did anyone ask about me?"
Jimbo: "In passing, but Carl had Ruphus cornered the whole time at my house so I didn't really talk to either of them much, Clickboo was drunk...and Skwurl had some kind of Brazillian sugar cane Aztec buttcrack juice he made us all drink. Chrisafer and Bubbles and Aaron and Josh were there but I don't think they made it to Blowoff after my house...and a bunch of drunk rugger queens showed up too."
TJ: "But like did anyone ask about me?"
Jimbo: "Anyway, someone just burst into flames here at work so I gotta go."
TJ: "Well yeah but like I mean did anyone ask about me?"
Phone: "Bzzzz...."

This is Ruphus and Clickboo being leprechauns in my house:
more leprechauns in my house

Blowoff was a hoot from what I remember of it due to Skwurl's Brazillian sugar cane Aztec buttjuice drink. Spring was definitely in the air with me and other primates vying for supremacy, staging and posturing like the avian arrivals of spring. A mere hello to someone who is normally friendly while partnered becomes gruff and unresponsive while single and cruising.

So I go home for more of the same on Manhunt, noting the inordinate amount of unnatural smoothness online, a dozen or so screen names with 'masc' in the title, and wondering why guys on there are looking for dates when Match.com gets you more of that. My 90 days on there will not lead to much, I'm afraid.

Soon my tastes swing from strawberry to adorkable, especially when he tells me his thesis in 12 words or less, the unassuming lithe Jewishy entomologist and his study of mayfly nymphs and the fluid dynamics of their gill slits depending on the viscosity of seasonal water changes just gives me a boner these days...

Buncha drunk ruggers in my house too:
drunk rugger in my house

Posted by jimbo at 9:32 PM | Comments (4)

March 9, 2007

Shockka-Kahn. Shockka-Kahn. Shockka-Kahn everybody...

The newest dynamic duo on City of Heroes MMORPG: Shockka-Kahn and DreamGurl! Shockka is a magic-origin electricity blaster, and DreamGurl is a sonic-defender.
Shockka Kahn & DreamGurl
They protect all innocents in Paragon City on the Protector Server. DreamGurl is the creation of OMG DJ TM™ and Shockka is mine.

BTW OMG DJ TM™ is spinning tonight at Cobalt. I'll be there, will you? It's the ONLY thing going on tonight.

Porntastic ChrisWell, aside from Woof, which I will attempt to attend beforehand if I can get a disco nap in after work. Fridays are usually not good for Webmasters, as people usually put off submitting things to the Webmaster until they reach a panic state on Friday, thus making Webmasters cranky.

So cranky, in fact, that if someone I don't know (friends are allowed) tries to finger my sphincter at Woof again, I'm going to break that finger. Say hello before fingering - or else.

But there are those who I wish would finger me and more, especially while sporting a porntastic 'stache. Chris over at Boy's Briefs was porntastic for a few precious moments. I love the handlebar, it works for him, but not the used car salesman 'stache.

Posted by jimbo at 1:07 AM | Comments (13)

March 5, 2007

What do I have to do to get the message through?

Barrett Long250 drag queens impersonating Kylie Minogue. How could I have missed it?

At left, Barrett Long on Hairyblokes.com. Nice name.

(Not work safe, yo.)

I suppose y'all are expecting some kinda cranky response to the foul gasses that came out of that emaciated drag queen conservative-creature's mouth this weekend. Eh, she's a media whore and knew exactly what she was saying and got the expected response. She's tired and needs to eat a sandwich. Just keep talkin', Skeletor, keep talkin' and diggin' that hole ever-deeper.

I suggest y'all keep lookin' at hot gay porn and try to keep her out of your thoughts.

Since I'm such a big 'ol "gerd," I would like to discuss this season's geek television finale episodes of Battlestar Galactica and Heroes, after the break as to not be a spoiler if you haven't seen them yet...

OMG Starbuck is NOT DEAD! NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo way! She's like a linchpin character and they couldn't have killed her off! It must be some kind of dream sequence or that Cylon stealth cruiser picked her up after she ejected!

OMG Peter Petrelli versus Sylar! Who's gonna win? BTW I know Sylar eats brains and shit but he's totally sexy if you ignore the predator nature and all that.

Posted by jimbo at 5:45 PM | Comments (10)

February 28, 2007

tax time & giving to gay organizations...

No, my first name ain't 'donor', it's 'Janet'.  'Miss Jackson' if you're nasty....or, what have you done for me lately?

Tax time is upon us, and a fortunate few of us could use some charitable deductions. Recently a friend of mine was preparing to donate a portion of his earnings to the Combined Federal Campaign (CFC), and asked me what environnmental groups could use his extra dough. After some thought I came up with a few questions for him based on some of the things I learned as an environmental education major, but certainly not from the point of view of a person with extra money to give.

After several e-mail exchanges, we eventually whittled it down with the following questions: What environmental issues concern you the most? Do you like wildlife? Local, global or personal? Furry or feathered? The friend in question has a strong interest in furry hominids, but outside the bars he likes quackers.

We ultimately settled on Ducks Unlimited, because he likes ducks, geese and swans, and the organization works to preserve habitat crucial in their migrations and breeding. I warned him that they are supported by a lot of hunting interests, but then again a lot of habitat would never have been preserved without this support. Waterfowl habitat preservation in turn supports aquatic plants, turtles and other critters. I don't know if he eventually gave to that organization or not, but going through the process made me think about local and national interests concerning The Gays.

Many recent posts by cranky bloggers about major gay organizations, talk of a "gay insurgency," and the state of the movement forum I attended got me wondering if people are wholly aware that there are a variety of organizations to choose to donate to, and that maybe we shouldn't get so comfy putting all our eggs in one equal-sign branded basket.

HRC has its place, but no one should feel like they are limited in giving to one group (or non-deductible PAC, as John points out) . Many gay organizations (check out this database) handle targeted, local and specific interests (like a gay rugby team, for instance) that may be more important to you than a large, well-marketed umbrella organization.

Here are a few things to consider before giving money to a cause, organization or institution:

So get your ducks in a row, do some research, and give to the organization of your choice that gives back.

Posted by jimbo at 8:39 AM | Comments (12)

February 21, 2007

Statler & Waldorf go to HRC

Matt & JimboLast night Statler and I went to the monolithic HRC Building for the State of the Movement panel discussion and community forum co-sponsored by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association (NLGJA) and MetroWeekly. I went primarily to skip out of night class, but also because Statler sounded like he wanted a buddy to heckle with. The panel included: Chris Barron, Log Cabin Republicans; Herndon Davis, National Black Justice Coalition; Matt Foreman, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force; Mara Keisling, National Center for Transgender Equality; John Marble, National Stonewall Democrats; C. Dixon Osburn, Servicemembers Legal Defense Network; Joe Solmonese, Human Rights Campaign; and Pam Spaulding of Pam’s House Blend.

Overall it was a mostly civil discussion of "the movement" in terms of how the above major organizations are and have handled their business up to this day. Pam had something to say about that which I'm sure you'll see on her blog soon. Statler has already spoken her mind and testified on a few topics.

My general impression of the panel discussions was that there is still a lot of optimisim and enthusiasm in movement leaders today, but the people not presented in this panel are those who are making great change on the local level. There were a few exceptions to this in the audience, as in the case of Midge Potts from Springfield, Missourri, a 37 year-old transgender social justice activist who ran for congress in SW Missouri's August 8th Republican Primary. Midge stood up to say how she campaigned door-to-door to farmers and everyday families in SW Missouri on the platforms of direct democracy, debt free America (yeah!), and energy independence. She sounds like someone I would have voted for, but she lost. She mentioned that in meeting people as she campaigned the prejudices "melted from their faces" as she said. She was doing the footwork that really needs to be done by everyone - shaking hands, telling their stories, and making connections with people who otherwise wouldn't meet any of us urban ghetto G/L/Bi/Trans/Whatevers.

Anyhow, while Pam represented the voice of the people via blogging, and the G/L/Bi/Trans/Whatever organizational leaders were representing the organizations' efforts from the top, I didn't see enough people who were making change at local levels, individually or by small groups, which is an element that does a lot of good for raising awareness, but doesn't get a lot of credit - or money. The people I mean are the campus student groups who are ensuring they have representation on campus, individual candidates in rural or suburban areas who can make change and raise awareness, or groups like my rugby team who have touched the lives of every "straight" team we have played in our local union.

I'll probably write more about it once my thoughts form into cogent ideas, but for now I'll give you a play-by-play of my perceptions of the forum disucssion:

- The HRC building gets a 100% approval rating for nice bike racks outside and a very efficient HVAC system inside (it was kinda warm). They get a 0% for water fountain availability!

- Sean Bugg from MetroWeekly was the moderator of the panel discussion, and he's quite woofy. He has a sexy voice too, so was the perfect choice for emcee.

- The queens are still wearing too much cologne - my eyes were burning cooped up in a hot room with all those perfumes.

- Will you two gurls sitting behind us stop whispering and fidgeting? I'm trying to listen to the activists foaming at the mouth!

- Cell phones that went off during the discussion: 5. Class: none.

- The greatest problem facing transgender people today is dry, damaged hair, in my opinion.

- Ironically the hottie from the LCR agreed with my stance that more work needs to be done at the grassroots levels and by individuals.

- There was a remarkable amount of time spent discussing blogs and other new media forms and how they can benefit organizations, and their efficacy outside of organizations.

- Herndon Davis from the National Black Justice Coalition seemed to have the best strategies offered for their constituent community both through smart use of new media and for reaching to the community through churches.

- Several speakers from the audience felt that the legal strategies of the major organizations were 10 years ahead of the movement's progress. Again, let me say that the major organizations are institutionalized beyond their ability to make effective change, and changes in how people think, the awareness of what our problems are, and knowing why we are asking for these rights are not well-enough known by the general public and those who would align with the KKKrazy Konservative Kristians. Once they know enough, fairness will prevail in their minds, but until then they just don't understand what we're bitching about.

At the end of it I briefly got to meet Pam, who like me also blogs from a campus, and a few members from NLGJA, who have interest in integrating bloggers into the journosphere. When I go to things like this and the one at the Washington Post, I wonder where I stand between the journalists news blogs, entertainment blogs, organizational blogs, corporate blogs, and personal blogs, becuase a do a little bit of all of the above, and maybe some (free, 'ahem!') marketing but mostly personal stuff. The real issue for me is that it sure would be nice to earn some cash outta what I've been doing for 8 years one of these days.

Posted by jimbo at 8:37 AM | Comments (6)

February 1, 2007

I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

I deserve some kind of recognition for maintaining focus in the gym last night. Sometimes I work out on campus where I work and not downtown, especially in the winter when it's cold, as I know how easily I can convince myself not to work out in some way or another on the commute back home before riding my bike to the gyms in DC. But despite the crowding at the campus gyms during the school year, filled with muscular and distracting proto-metrosexual students aged 18-21, I still have to go there or else I won't work out at all.

And apparently the university I work at has the highest ratio of Jewish students in the region for a public university, and at this particular gym on campus there's scruffy Jews, beefy Jews, cut Jews, wrestler Jews, Jock jews, tall Jews, lean Jews, bearded Jews, blond Jews, puppy-dog faced Jews and even red-headed Jews. Most of them are furry too. And I maintained workout focus for the entire time I was there in the face of temptation not even the devil could throw at me.

So I deserve an award. Howabout "Best Composure in the Face of Ultimate Temptation"? Them were some fine Kosher chicken in there tonight, lemme tell ya.

But there was a reason for my laser-focus tonight, as it was a very trying day at work, which always leads to a good workout. This week we underwent the redesign and migration of a very large website, which involves cleaning out old files, redesigning the important stuff, and making sure all the links work on hundreds of pages. Even with staff support and good software, it's a lot of labor that requires organization and memory. Add this to an unexpected event for next week that I'm coordinating and advertising, and a major event in March where I'm doing the same thing, plus a looming newsletter deadline on my shoulders, in addition to a new grad school class starting up (and I still don't know where class is). Needless to say my desk is filled with tasks and my e-mail box fills up by the minute. While I find a rhythm in multitasking through the day, it's not my forte and it exhausts me.

And usually I get the flurries taken care of in the morning, allowing me to work on my marketing networking, chasing professors for pictures, info and lecture titles, and putting small fires out in general. This allows me time in the afternoon to focus on the tasks that require concentration, like writing articles and media alerts, fixing web pages, restoring links, and desktop publishing - all of which require uninterrupted periods of concentration. I have this now after an office move to a more quiet area of our department, but on some days there are exceptions to this.

The new semester has started and everyone has a problem, and they come into my office telling me about it at great length with no warning. Perhaps my new aquarium fish are too relaxing to watch and causes conversational diarhea in most people. But unless it's on e-mail, during busy times like this at work my mind is a sieve and it goes in one ear and out the other.

So the second to last person to come into my office got his point across, but then he droned on and on and I couldn't even find change in my wallet correctly as the buzzing humm of his voice was scattering my brain across the cosmos. Following him was a person with a very bomastic, forcefull manner, and although he is very nice I just wasn't ready for his pure force at that time. The list of things to fix on the freshly redesigned site was growing while he was talking and there was a number of things I had to get done for the upcoming events by the end of the day as well. But like the man before him, his statements and tasks to deliver turned into a barrage of semiautomatic gunfire to my brain. Brrr-att! Brrr-att! Rrrrrattatttattattt. And he just wouldn't stop even after I told him I can't do what he wants me to do now, so please write the points in an e-mail, but he kept on going at that pace, not seeming to notice the hysterical tone rising in my voice. At such trials in my life I abruptly quiet down and drop my head as if in prayer, and my eyes shift from side to side as if seeking escape. Close friends have seen this dire moment, and know to back off. But not everyone knows they should stop what they are doing and quiet down so I can procees before I explode.

And I know I can explode easy, so I have developed the catatonic method described above to deal, but that wasn't working, and the verbal gunfire to my head wasn't stopping either. So I left my office that had become his space and walked down the hallway, not intending to stop until the blast of pain forming in my left temple would stop throbbing. I walked the length of the building, breathing deep, cooling down the wave of heat cascading over my brain.

I returned to my office and it was empty. I closed my door and sat down and logged off AOL and work e-mail to reduce distraction, and approached each task calmly and in an orderly fashion in my own physical, mental and cyber space at my desk. No one came to visit after that, and I got most of my tasks completed, or at least organized enough so I could finish it tomorrow when I'm less addled.

I got out of my office at 7pm, something I avoid getting in a habit of doing. But hell, I'm seasonally-depressed, it's winter, and working allows me to be in a state of not-depressed for a time, but I'm not saying it's a happy thing either.

I haven't felt the way I felt today since I was in college, president of both an active gay and a busy environmental campus student groups, and taking a 5-credit chemistry class in addition to ecology and calculus at the same time. Yeah, I was younger with more stamina then, but I'm equally pressed with tasks today. I know a lot of type-A gays like to load up their tasks in the same way, usually plowing through them like Juggernaut, thinking we're invulnerable and irresistable in our advance on our work, because we're fabulous and should be up to the tasks for the day, right?

But every superhero and supervillian has their Achilles' heel, and mine was found today. But at least I didn't yell out, "I'm the JUGGERNAUT, bitch!" at the chatty people in my office.

Posted by jimbo at 8:18 AM | Comments (2)

January 26, 2007

Isaiah Washington is dumb, but forgivable

I guess the local rise in crime wasn't just a random observation on my part. People have been getting mugged on T and 14th street a lot lately, our packages going missing (including my birthday care package from mom!) and even murder. The queens are not amused, and we are have begun to marshall our forces. Beware the power of nonbreeding drones of the hive! Like Nikita once said: "We will bury you..."

Kylie Minogue + Scissor Sisters = White Diamond, performed live from the Showgirl tour. OMG KYLIE.

Friday Night TV Pick: Scary 'God Warrior' Marguerite Perrin returns to Trading Spouses at 9pm on Fox tonight.

Here's a documentary about a local DC/Baltimore L.A.R.P. (Live-Action Role-Playing) group. And you thought I was a big 'ol geek.

I think I'll pass on a backpacking trip to Anthrax Isle. But it sounds like a great D&D module adventure title.

I think this whole Isaiah Washington gay slur thing is a bit creepy. Really, the guy is an idiot for using the f-word in Hollywood - he's made his own career grave saying that stuff. But does he really need to go to some gay rehab for saying what he said? Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment and don't always mean what they say. He and other people (Eddie Murphy, etc.) need to get a little slack sometimes. People make mistakes, people are young and say dumb things, then people change, and people need to be forgiven. People have a hard time forgiving even themselves sometimes. I think The Gay spend waaay too much energy holding anger against whomever was a douche bag in the past. Much too often I hear the same thing, "HARRR! I won't read/watch/listen to 'X' person because of 'Y' crime to the gays in 19XX-20XX." Even when it's been like 10 years since that person said 'Z' phrase and has changed and grown significantly.

Many people have come to me asking, "Jimbo: what do you think of men's leggings?" (Because I'm apparently officially a drag queen now). And I stare back at them, confused. Of course they will be worn by the dandies about town by this summer. But I already wear them now. And I have a question about proper use of leggings and tights: so like if I'm running or mountain biking and am wearing my running tights or biking tights with snuggly padding where it counts, and then have to go grocery shopping after that, is it appropriate for me to be shining my package in the produce department of Whole Foods, or should I slip a pair of shorts over my bulge? I'm always a little bit self-conscious when I do that.

After a rugby match I also like to slip off my rugby shorts and cool my balls off, even though i'm still wearing my compression shorts which keep my balls in place. Is it OK to do that around teammates' family and kids? Are compression shorts more like undergarments or shorts in this instance? I also love my short running shorts even though it is most customary to wear baggy basketball-style shorts in the United States of 'Merca. But I don't like basketball and I don't like running in those long basketball shorts. I prefer my short-shorts even though they make me look like a dork. But my junk sure stands out in them. I think running in those stupid long basketball shorts defeats the purpose, and the cause unnecessary chafing.

That is all. Have a nice weekend.

Posted by jimbo at 11:45 AM | Comments (15)

January 18, 2007

the buffet tables of life

After seeing this offensive website, now I want to go! Stop Gay Days at Disney! I love her.

Looking at those 'offensive' pics made me laugh. It just looks like everyone is having a good time to me. Not to say I wouldn't ever join them, but I think I've left most of my shirtless-on-the-dance-floor-every-weekend times behind me. I just don't value that aspect of gay life as much as I used to, and I'm not alone in my choice to explore other options in gay life. An interesting piece from Citizen Crain about a small movement in the gay community that encourages improvement or changes to our choices and quality of life.

I think there are values, attitudes and beliefs we have from our upbringing and background, and new values we can choose to adopt or discard upon coming out into this new community. It needs to be looked at like a transition from one culture to another. Not all of the old beliefs should be kept, but not all of the new ones are good for you either. But more often than necessary, the baby gets thrown out with the bathwater somewhere in the exchange of these values.

I use the analogy of a buffet. There's the buffet table over there that we used to eat from, and a new fantastic buffet table here filled with a variety of foods - some of them sugary and rich, but won't agree with you in the morning. However, some of the new dishes are good for you too.

But it's still a buffet, and nobody's forced to eat every dish at the new table. But the ones who think they have to eat exclusively at the new buffet table are the ones who end up unhappy. I think that's where "bitter queens" come from. They're too invested in so many things that have no meaning to them, and they think it's too late to recoup some of the things they used to be.

It took me a while to discover that I enjoyed some of the things I used to do before I came out, and that not everything in the gay community needed to be embraced. I'd hope to think that's where balance and happiness is found for gay men.

It's been pointed out to me that I often overuse analogies so much that friends have coined the word 'jimboism' when someone goes too far with an analogy. Here's a classic jimboism used by one lawmaker on the floor of the U.S. Capitol.

Posted by jimbo at 9:42 AM | Comments (10)

January 17, 2007

mapping "the gay gene"

the gay gene and nearby gene markers

closeup of the gay geneOnce again I'm struck by the realization that I'm surrounded by attention-deficit disordered queens. MW-S (Michael William-Scott) isn't the first and probably won't be the last (in the past year I've met at least 3), but I'm convinced that the part of our genome that makes us gay is neighbored by the genes that make little baby gay weathermen and gay-D.D. queens. Nearby are the chromosome sequences that make people deaf (why are there so many deaf gays?), movie critics and fans of Madonna, Babs and Britney. My Gene Queen friend Matt may concur. Mark my words, one day they will find that the gay gene is near the A.D.D. and weather sense gene. My theory is that when and if the gay gene is turned 'on' and flipped in reverse (bottom) on the gene squence of our genome, accompanying gene sequences may be activated as well, or vice verse.

Illustrations are provided in Figures 1 and 2.

Posted by jimbo at 8:36 AM | Comments (6)

January 16, 2007

some guy at the gym tonight had a bleeding nipple

Well my new $80 alarm clock works just as good as my ancient one, as I ignore it just as efficiently the old one. Although I did enjoy waking up to a song chosen the previous evening, but then in my awakening state I somehow figured out how to shut it off, even though I had a tech Skwurl put it together and I have no idea how to make it not go off at 6am. But I might figure it out by this weekend.

So if I see a guy at the gym wearing a white polyester polo shirt and I see a fresh bloodstain spreading from where his nipple should be, should I say something to him? "Umm...excuse me, but your nipple got ripped off..." Miss Manners was truly perplexed and could find no words for such an event. Which crime is worse, the bleeding or the polo shirt? At least his collar wasn't popped.

Winter returned with a vengance today, and with it the super-dry air, which made my clean-shaven face all tight and dry. Part of what made me shave it was the balmy weekend weather, and it felt warm on my face. But beards keep your face cozy and moisturized too, so it's gotta come back. Plus even my coworkers complained about the clean-shaven look. Allright already!

Work Safe: from scruffy Chris who likes scruffy Ryan Gosling. I concur.

Not Work Safe: Jew Lust, the blog. I prefer my Israelis a little older, I think. And the Hairy Blokes blog. I like Leandro Dotto best with his furry butt. But most of the guys on it aren't that hairy by my standards.

This one, on the right, is just right. Wuuuuuf.

Posted by jimbo at 11:06 PM | Comments (5)

January 14, 2007

a rugged-looking bunch

Here's Daddy TJ ordering everyone to purse their lips, but Tos can't purse his lips, but Steve and Jason are trying hard:

Much woofage was in my house last evening, including Daywalker Woof, Skinhead Woof, Mr. MAL Woof, and Mr. Bartender Woof:
From right to left: Lumberjack Woof, Copperred Woof, ClickBoo Woof, Mrs. Durban Woof, Mr. Bartender Woof, and again, Daywalker Woof:
Discussing the caloric value of cheese curds:
cheese, please

Posted by jimbo at 4:12 PM | Comments (1)

January 12, 2007

the boy is bad news

I want you so hard:
The Eagles Of DeathMetal

Have a good MAL weekend, everyone.

Posted by jimbo at 3:05 PM | Comments (6)

January 7, 2007

Attention-Deficit Disorder Dungeons and Dragons (A.D.D. D&D)

I think I've just found my latest hobby: join to join a local chapter of a complaints choir! It's just the thing for those with a skill for melody and lots of complaining to do, with others of the same.

Thanks to the suggestions of some readers' comments, I ordered a new alarm clock that plays music or stored sound bits from my iPod mini. My first experiment is to wake up to the sound of spring peeper frogs, then switch over to some hardcore metal/electroncia mashups. That'll do the trick. But if someone's found some really annoying Jennifer sound clips that would work too.

So much coming up next weekend, I'd better preserve my strength by the time the weekend comes. First, OMG DJ TM™ will be spinning at Cobalt on Friday night. Then Saturday night is the leather edition of Blowoff from 9:30pm - 3:00am. Due to the MAL weekend confluence with Blowoff, it'll be a big crowd, so pick your $20 tickets up at the 9:30 Club right quick. I suspect the crowd will be something like this (NOT work safe). Then in the same place at 815 V ST. N.W. DC from 10:00pm - 6:00am on Sunday night is the MAL Reaction Dance which I may skip as it's a school night as far as I know. We'll see how burnt out I am by then and give it some consideration, being that it's $30 a ticket.

I didn't do much over the weekend, choosing to relax after the holiday madness and in preparation for the coming weekend. The gang gathered for an A.D.D. D&D (Attention-Deficit Disorder Dungeons and Dragons) session and we started off trying to catch up on almost a month's worth of bar, gay, dating, holiday and neighborhood drama. In the remaining hour of time left we actually rolled a few dice. Here's what happened:

The party is going through The Mud Sorcerer's Tomb From Dragon Magazine issue #138, going after ancient treasure. But traps and great magics of antiquity are in abundance, as the Sorcerers preferred to keep their ancient secrets and goods intact. Nevertheless, here's Nodjmet of Mulhorand, a psychic warrior/sorceror attempting to use her scimitar to cut the head off a helpess cleric held in stasis, while the air genasai monk gets ready on following up with whack to her head with a crowbar. The 12-sided die represents a flaming sphere readied in case the "sleeping beauty" turns out to be undead, and the other dice are just kinda there and don't represent anything. The party prevailed at mauling the poor priest (without knowing who she was or checking alignment) just for her fine robes.
Then the micro-roleplaying sets in, as it does with a group of attention-deficit disordered gay men hyped up on soda, carbs and caffiene:
TzilaLily the Druid: (Looks into the crypt, sees a beautiful dark-haired woman in stasis clad in flowing red robes) OMG! Look at that robe! It's fabulous!
DM (Jimbo): Umm...you're a Druid, why should you care?
Lily the Druid: Well, I need a new outfit, and the color of the robe complements my eyes. What's the thread count on that robe?
DM (Jimbo): (rolling eyes, making up stuff) It's a low thread count - under 100 - but it looks breathable in the ancient linen weaving tradition of the pre-Mulhorandi Jezulain textile guilds, very popular during the post-reckoning period of Netheril's refugee city-states. So in addition to having very powerful protective magics, it would be much sought after by modern clothiers and fabric historians as the unique weave technique allows warmth, breathability and has an exquisite feel to it.
Kal the Mage: I just want to know where that bitch put her spellbook (begins searching for secret compartments)...

Then Jon pipes in with a micro-roleplaying question:

Nodjmet (Jon): So like when I died last week, and recieved a raise dead spell from the cleric, how do I know my baby is OK? (Nodjmet the half-giant is carrying a child purportedly fathered by Scorpp the Hill Giant, a disgruntled employee from the Temple of Elemental Evil. Scorp is currently tending to the livestock in the party's keep, having been emancipated from the Temple. The child is soon to come to term...)
DM (Jimbo): Did you recieve any abdominal discomfort after your return from the dead?
Nodjmet (Jon): Umm...I don't think so, why?
DM (Jimbo): Well clearly the beneficial bacteria in your digestive system came back to life too, otherwise you would be experiencing problems digesting by today. Thus, your baby is probably also included in the package with the spell, so the child is probably OK too.

These are the things that keep gay geeks content. But not for long, since next time they have to deal with this:
The Mud Socerer's Tomb

Posted by jimbo at 3:52 PM | Comments (7)

January 4, 2007

various issues that smell bad

I'm not angry, I'm just half-asleep at any given moment, which translates as grumpy and curmudgeonly this time of year. On the agenda for the weekend is to get a new alarm clock, preferrably one with a buzzer as shrill as some of my coworkers, or perhaps even as irritating as a Jennifer. As I was sleeping through the soothing tones of an NPR newsperson this morning, I somnabulistically explored the idea of downloading MP3s and other sound files into an alarm clock. If we can choose our own ringtones (mostly annoying ones at that) why can't we choose our own morning alarm? Give the clock a USB port that can connect it to the Internet or a data stick, and download whatever to it. To ensure I got my ass up in the morning, I would probably put Jennifer on it, with randomly circulated delivered phrases: "Ohmigawd!" "Shut. Up." "No. Way." "OHMIGAWD I AM SOOO DRUNK!"

That would certainly get me up in the morning, but I would have to smack someone soon afterwards...

Speaking of Jennifers, my agents in the field have reported an unexpected consequence of the smoking ban: other, more foul odors are not covered by smoke any longer as the smoke stench that covered them is now gone.

Take the nasty upstairs bathrooms at JRs, for example. At least one urinal is always broken, but some drunk queen has already peed in it, so the fermentation is now detectable as the urine slowly converts to ammonia.

Then there's always at least one drunk queen who's been there since the end of his workday, drinking non-stop. And that queen has to poop sometime or another. And when she does, my agents report that the entire upstairs billiards area smells like drunk homo poop. Before January 1st, that smell may have gone covered or possibly unnoticed, but no more. In this instance, perhaps smoking could be allowed near the bathrooms to cover up the poo-smells?

Speaking of stank, I put my small ghetto tree outside because it looked better in the sun. It's artificial and doesn't photosynthesize, but I thought the ornaments looked nicer on it out there. But guess what? When you leave an artificial ghetto tree outside in the rain, it begins to smell. Who knew ghetto trees could stink? Anyhow, after it dried out, it stopped smelling so bad, but still has some kind of odd odor to it now, and not a good one. Perhaps a cat from the Cat Factory came and sprayed it with that nasty male cat spray smell. Or perhaps the pine cones on it as ornaments were rotting.

New Word & Phrases: "outsider" when referring to those who must go outside to smoke. e.g.: "Hey, where did Scott go?"

"Oh, he's an outsider, he went out to smoke."

The "Low Self-Esteam Room" is where some people at the gym who eschew their much-needed time on the treadmills or at the weights for some steamy romance in the saunas. But they're also in there with several other people of low self-esteam who could also better afford some time on the gym floor instead of the monkey business in the steam room. Or they could take it home where it belongs. I don't like slipping on piles of jizz when I want to come down from a nice workout or to de-congest my head.

Today at the U.S. Capitol there were two steps forward, one step back: the first female was sworn in as Speaker of the House, and a Muslim took his oath on the Koran. I think both acts are wonderfully progressive and I'm glad both women and Muslims are in these positions doing their things. Our country is in fact filled with people other than heterosexual white Christian males, and these people represent that true diversity. The step back today is that Massachussetts just moved to re-vote on the gay marriage amendment in their state, something I thought was in the bag. I guess not. Dear Nutbags: let's move on from the gay marriage thing. Let the gays have the partnership privilidges that you do, so we can deal with other, far more important things like good roads, cheap and easy health care, and the mining valuable resources from the moon or something.

Posted by jimbo at 7:22 PM | Comments (16)

January 2, 2007

last day of holiday break

Today I got my ass out of bed while it was still daylight, and had cawfee with Dreamy Ron and then had a nice bike ride around the National Mall with Casey. I took some pictures:
Capitol & Tree
We spotted two hawks circling above the U.S. Capitol. Perhaps there was some carrion or vermin inside the building that they detected. Many birds of prey are able to smell rotting meat and other foul odors at long distances.
Casey & Monuments
Here's Casey in front of the National Mall, with a statue of George Washington (correction: it's Grant), the Smithsonian building, and Washington Monument in the background.

Later on I went to see Apocalypto with Gurl and Bubbles. It was kinda like a Mayan version of The Fugitive, with great costumes and lots of running and gore. My review for the suck-film Happy Feet is up on Queer Beacon.

Reports from the field are in on the conditions of DC gay bars gone smoke-free. One commenter mentioned that he could see, for the first time ever, the entirety of JRs from one end to the other without the obscurement of a smokey haze. Contrary to some concerns, the bar scene has not collapsed - just the smokers.

Back to work tomorrow, and getting up for work is gonna be tough. Over the week and a half of time off, my sleep patterns have nearly shifted to noctournal.

Posted by jimbo at 10:41 PM | Comments (6)

December 22, 2006

he make good bottom

Despite a frustrating and exhausting day at work, I went out for a bite to eat at Health Bar last night with Gurl. There was much gossip to catch up with and I hadn't spent quality Gurl Time in a while. We caught up and looked at the cute Results boys passing by, and I reminded Gurl to remind me never to never go on a date at Health Bar as my eyes wander too easily.

Anyway, Gurl asked me if I would mind walking home with him and stopping by the relatively new gay bookstore down the street to pick up a few things and I said, "Muh-huh, I was thinkin' the same thing..." So we cleared up the check and went on our way...

Like some other people who live in the area, we are both entertained by the proprietor the store as he is a plentiful font of pornographic gossip and is fun to try to understand. We made our usual perusals of the wares, and Gurl finally 'popped' the question, "So do you have some of that really good stuff behind the counter..."

Jake Dakota in: RANGERAs our transactions were being made, Gurl pointed up to the 'New Release' rack behind the counter and commented, "Oooh...gurl, check it out: 'Ranger'!" I chuckled a little and said, "Oh, my friend TJ likes that guy, they met at Folsom."

The shopkeeper excitedly pipes up, "Oh, dey met ad Fossom! He in heere yestahday weed hees paadnuh! He have beard like you an he so shy!"

"What?!" I didn't quite understand what he said, so he repeated himself slower, with anunciation this time. I replied, "Yeah, he really likes Jake Dakota."

"Oh, he so hot and shy, he makea good bottom in porn movie."

"What?!" Again, I kinda didn't quite catch what he said, but then it started to sink in. Shopkeeper repeats himelf again: "He so hot and have-a shy face, he make a hot bottom in porn movie. I try to tehl heem dat."

Now most people don't get to hear a deep gut laugh out of me, but that's the best line I'd heard all week, and I let out a loud guffaw right there in the store.

evil gremlinSo Gurl starts moving out of the store, and Shopkeeper says to me, "So, you like animal?"

"What?!" Again, I wasn't prepared for what I thought he just said. I replied, "Umm...I like animals as pets, in aquariums and looking at them in the outdoors..."

"No, I have someting behind counter, good deal just for you. Cute pet!" He pulls a wicker box from under the register, and I hear a soothing, trilling noise from within.

"Now, you must unnahstan tree tings: Furst - no open popper after midnight, bad ting happen when you do dat. Animal go from teddy bear to angertwink. Secon - no spill lube on animal. Bad ting happen, you get more angertwink! Tree - no turn on multi-spectrum bright light on teddy bear, he no like Happy Light..."

Posted by jimbo at 8:53 AM | Comments (16)

December 11, 2006

GWAR is for Everyone

It was a weekend for fine performance art, with a Saturday night outing to Crack, and then a Sunday night concert at the 9:30 Club for like my sixth witnessing of GWAR. GWAR always guarantees a life-affirming experience replete with body fluids and good clean Americana, up there on my list with Norman Rockwell and Disney family classics. A first on my list was seeing a cute young heavy metal gay couple who were snuggling throughout the whole concert. I told them they were cute. It was a good vision of the future to see gay kids enjoying something outside the usual fare offered to the ghettoized urban experience.

Some more pictures from November's trip to North and South Carolina, taken by photographic genius BlogStar Brettie. Here's me establishing first contact with intelligent life at an Exxon station:
first contact
I'm street like that:
We stopped at South of the Border, which was a cinderblock hell of tourist flotsam and jetsam. Here's me and Chip atop the Giant Sombrero:
Sombrero Gurls
Tech genius Piranha Sean tore himself away from his busy social life to help me diagnose my printer/computer problem. With a simple deselection of the 'Pause Printing' option he restored my computer's ability to connect to my printer. He is a frikkin' computer wizard!

The quote from the weekend goes to Carl, who stated, "Dating this time of year is like HR: nobody's hiring in December."

Posted by jimbo at 12:05 AM | Comments (7)

December 6, 2006

'Trans Fats' Banned in NYC

Transexual/Transvestite chaser/gainer community up in arms.

Miss Eartha Rotunda, a transexual activist who clocks in at 450 pounds, contacted Reuters News Service on behalf of the New York City organization 'Trans Fats and Friends'. She demands equal rights for the "plus-sized" intersex, transexual and transvestites who want to remain in the city and stated, "We will fight. We will remain here in our beloved city, and no one will be able to move us." The NYPD is currently searching for bulldozer, dump truck and crane contractors to assist in removing the Trans Fats from the city.

On a more serious note, a big shout-out to rich lesbian Mary Cheney, who is with child, and secure in her finances to care for the child, thanks to her father's political connections and financial status. Thanks a lot for taking the fight to your dad, since you have enough money to take care of your child's health insurance and potential legal and custody battles, so why should you care about the benefits of marriage? Hey, you're a Republican, so who cares about lesser people who didn't have the sense to be born rich? You see Mary, other kids who didn't grow up with rich/corrupt parents don't have these luxuries, but I suppose you don't have enough perspective to be empathic enough towards these people, because you're a short-sighted myopic Republican. For you see, not everyone in America is as rich as you, and can't afford legal protection to ensure they keep their child, and they can't afford covering insurance for their partner, since it's illegal in many states to allow a long time partner to get mutual health benefits. Thanks a lot for your help, Mary.

Posted by jimbo at 8:54 AM | Comments (8)

December 5, 2006

the trough man: myth or reality?

The man in the urinal trough at the DC Eagle - truth or urban legend?


Mom, don't read the comments, OK?

Jimbo's nature word of the day: altricial, meaning generally helpless, as in a baby robin or sparrow. The antonym is precocious, meaning prematurely developed, as in a duckling ready to swim right after hatching.

"Piranha (Good) Sean is quite the precocious young lad - he knows the story out on the town, ya know?"

"Lookit that circuit queen stuck in a K-hole! She's kinda altricial at the moment..."

Piranha Sean is not stuck in a K-hole, and neither is my mom, fyi.

Posted by jimbo at 12:29 PM | Comments (19)

December 2, 2006


In this photo, taken back in October, Sgt. Brett Parson of the DC MPD Gay and Lesbian Liason Unit is having a stakeout behind Charlene Hilton's hair.
Charlene and Brett
Photo by Gurl. I love the look on Brett's face.

Posted by jimbo at 2:46 PM | Comments (6)

November 26, 2006

Wineberry Cabin

Here's our gargoyle spring water spout at the Potomac Appalacian Trail Club's (PATC) Wineberry Cabin located above the the village of Lydia, Virginia on PATC's "Vining Tract" property. I spent Saturday evening there and the sky was clear with lots of stars showing:
Originally uploaded to Jimbo3DCs Flickr account. More photos after the jump...

It was a rustic, but cozy, log cabin:
Wineberry cabin sign
Six guys and a cute dog shared the space. This is Maya:
All we did was eat carbs:
And when night fell, we ate more carbs:
More carbs
Between carbs, some people read:
And when we were done carbing up, we were ready to go:
Maya and Kurt
The evening before I was kidnapped by a buncha twinks and forced to cocktail with them at 30 Degrees. I was able to break away before they went to Apex by distracting them with a cell phone text message.

Posted by jimbo at 5:33 PM | Comments (4)

November 22, 2006

I live you long time, or, Logan Circle's Run

I saw an old friend on 17th street last night and we caught up on gossip and stuff. Lately I've been able to say "No drama" when asked how I'm doing, and it's generally true, and it's good to be that way. But he admitted to being stressed out lately about his impending 70th bithday - which is to happen in 14 years. I didn't understand what he was worried about, and he explained that he has only started to worry about aging issues. He's HIV+ and didn't expect to get past 50, and now here he is thinking about being 70, and he is completely caught off guard. I mean, look at some guys who are constantly kvetching about being in their mid-30s, and he ain't even 40 yet. Imagine such psyches managing feelings and thoughts about being 60.

The concept of aging is frightening to many gay men, if they are thinking about it at all. When we come out into this wonderful Neverland, no one grows old, gets sick or stops having fun, and the party never stops. Everyone is beautiful and young, and no one has a saggy body. There's no time to think about growing old, since no one seems to. Old people seem to disappear somewhere, replaced by a new crop of beautiful young men every year. And a lot of gays aren't planning on growing old, judging by the number of bug chasers who e-mail Joe.My.God each week (And no, Mom, I'm not a bug chaser. That's why I wear condoms and have my partners do the same.). I have heard stories of frequent JRs patrons who who drop off the face of the earth once they pass the age of 24 or gain 5 pounds, thinking their life is over, much like in the sci-fi classic Logan's Run where the aged remove themselves via the Carousel ritual. Some of these twinks choose Carousel much earlier than those in the film.

Aging is not part of the culture that many of us embrace at the expense of the hetero world, and that's a problem. Are you thinking about retirement, heart disease, or the credit card debt that's built up from all your fabulous trips to circuit parties across the country? If you're past 30, are you getting a physical exam every year? (If not, I know of a physician's assistant who gives GREAT prostate exams...)

We are often so absorbed with HIV/AIDS issues that we don't often think about some of the basic things that pursue people in our later years. It turns out my friend who passed away this spring died of heart disease. Have you done a testicular exam lately?

And despite the morbid news about AIDS and kidney failure mortaility due to the ravages of HIV meds among our people, for some lucky few life will find a way, despite the suicidal quest to be as piggy and hedonistic as we can possibly be. God forbid we should deny ourselves any small pleasure, but an unexpected consequence of all this might be - nothing but survival. For some, this is a punishment worse than death, for they will have to deal with responsibilities not thought of before. Debt Queens (and I know you're out there...) are you ready to face the music?

At what point in your life are you going to be when this realization hits? There will come a time when you outgrow the circuit, cocktail, gym or bug-chasing lifestyle, and where will you be? Are you going to be in debt, with no savings for the twilight years that you'd rather not have thought about? Have you thought about what you're going to do for fun once you realize the wheelchair access at Apex is unacceptable? Are you ready to live life beyond forty?

Posted by jimbo at 11:34 AM | Comments (13)

November 21, 2006

Gurl has a Stove Top Stuffing fetish

So last night we were watching Heroes at Gurl's house, and while scrounging for food in her cupboards I came across 14 boxes of Stove Top Stuffing. Now I'm overjoyed that she has a taste for this delightful delicacy, but I was the one assigned to bring it for her dinner on Thursday! Now she's either got a Stove Top fetish, or didn't trust my cooking skills with crouton dishes...

Damn, with 25 comments on yesterday's 'brining' post, you people are sure passionate about how you cook. Brining is still retarded, however.

Anyhow, with Claire the Cheerleader saved on Heroes, we can all breathe easy over the holiday.

Good News: Xanadu broadway musical still in progress. For those of you in the know in NYC, if you can tag me some tickets for the official show, count me up there on short notice. I am SO THERE!
Bad News: Peter Jackson not gonna do a live-action movie of The Hobbit. Waaah, I was looking forward to that.

Here's a pic from the party I went to on Friday featuring (from left to right) Jason, moi, Kurtie and Steve.
party gurls
I will be going to a cabin in VA with Jason and Kurtie on Saturday. The weather outlook predicts cold weather, which is common this time of year in the area, but I read that the cabin is nice and toasty inside, albeit sans electricity. It should be fun!

Posted by jimbo at 5:52 PM | Comments (3)

November 13, 2006

brief report from SC

I am still on Kiawah Island, near Charleston, SC After with Chip and BlogStar Brettie. Sorry for the lack of posts and unresponsive e-mail. My access to computers thus far has been limited to Macs, which are generally user unfriendly and unproductive to good writing.

Testudo!Wooo! Go Terps! Fear the Turtle! Hear us ROAR! Sam had some good passes on Saturday to lead a win against Florida. Sounded like it was an exciting game. Here's to a fun bowl and more exciting Terrapins Football.

I have not yet seen a real diamondback terrapin here, as apparently it is too late in the season. However, I have seen plenty of alligators both big and small, and I have pictures to prove it. We went on a birdwatching trip this morning and can now say I've checked off all the birds on the 'dark herons' page, with new inclusions of the tricolor heron, little blue heron, and even the wood stork.

We won our match against the Charlotte/Durham combined team, followed by a fun social at the Charlotte Eagle. Woofy pics to come. The Atlanta Bucks did not show up, and I have to say I am very, very disappointed with all the Atlanta boys (especially the redheads) because they let me down.

Posted by jimbo at 1:33 PM | Comments (8)

November 9, 2006

a toothy wildlife weekend

I'll be away from blogging most likely until Wednesday, as this weekend I'll be heading down to Charlotte, NC for a friendly set of rugby matches against the Charlotte and Atlanta teams. I am looking forward to it as the Atlanta guys are HOT and my frikkin' honey pot has been on fire for weeks. While there is a regional tournament up in NYC, we were just there in May and it'll be fun to head South for a change.

Anyway, speaking of getting riled up - Uncle Rufus is frikkin' hot.

Testudo!After the matches and debauchery me an Chip and BlogStar Brettie are heading to Kiawah Island, in Charleston, SC. It's about a 3-4 hour drive from Charlotte, on the Atlantic coast. I may be able to see a real Diamondback Terrapin and possibly some American Alligators. I will go so far as to go out at night with a flashlight to see one. I'll try to take pictures.

Speaking of awesome terrapins, howabout them Terps? We may get to a bowl this year. Props to the quarterback whose performance has improved a lot this season. The Terps were my first college football game ever. It was a lot of fun. So I guess I am both a Packer, a Terp and a Pointer (my undergrad alma mater) as well.

I think this weekend will be absolutely insane in DC due to the election results, especially amongst The Gays. I'm almost bummed I'll be away, as I think everyone will be out partying (except uptight closeted gay Republicans of course). For those in town on Saturday, November 11th, there is much to do. My buddy OMG DJ TM™ will be spinning at Cobalt, starting at 10. And I think Blowoff at the 9:30 Club will also be a total riot. There will be stories. Have fun in my stead.

Posted by jimbo at 11:03 AM | Comments (5)

November 8, 2006

it all comes down to 'macaca'

Whoa! Rumsfield to step down, the Dems sweep the House, and possibly the Senate, and Britney is about to divorce K-Fed! The changes are almost too much to comprehend. My head swims, the earth shakes. Clearly, the people have spoken, and hubris and arrogance has been the downfall of the Evil Empire. People would like to get some important shit done, can we start now?

Sadly, the mean anti-gay marriage amendments in VA and WI passed, and it looks like the people of Wisconsin are even bigger meanies (59/41) than Virginians (57/43). I'm pretty ashamed of the people of my home state, who would work to ensure the marginalization of another group of people. I had hoped for more tolerance and fairness from My Cheesy Peeps. But change is slow and some day they may turn around. On the bright side, Arizona is the first state to oppose such nasty amendments. Congrats, Homer and Chris!

I think The Gay would be quick to attribute Foley (remember him?) and the anti-gay stuff to the Repubs loss, but I think it was a lot of things, mostly Iraq. And Rumsfield's mean nasty self, general corruption, and perhaps people are tired of being told to be afraid of so many things. I think deep down people know life isn't quite so frightening, and can only be pushed down that road for so long.

And may I never meet another uptight semi- or fully-closeted gay Republican hill staffer ever again.

Posted by jimbo at 1:40 PM | Comments (10)

November 6, 2006

super-dirty mackerel weekend

Well we got our positive gay news this weekend with Doogie Howser coming out. That was a surprise to me, but then again I don't pay much attention to who's in/who's out, with the exception of the clearly loony ones who fascinate me. In most cases conjecture about who might be gay or not ususally focuses on who's the hottest, and in many cases it's just so much wishful thinking on the part of the gays. That and I have terrible gaydar. I've been soo wrong soo many times I don't bother anymore.

Josh came all the way in from Resthome, VA (Reston, 90 min. travel time by MetroRail!) just to watch BSG with the gang on Friday! He scored big marks with them by bringing Maker's Mark whiskey. We got drunk and stared agog at Apollo's remarkable weight loss.

On Saturday (and Sunday!) I slept in. Aaah. Only 1 rugby match left next weekend, down in Charlotte. I'm going with Chip and BlogStar Brettie somewhere in SC to a beach after the match, but I don't know where we're going. Anyway, the geek gang played D&D and then me and OMG DJ TM went out to the new BeBar. Fuck, it was expensive. I blew $50, but got an incredible buzz from only 3 cosmos and became a durrrty mackerel. 2 old flames were there, with whom I macked heartily, much to the horror of those upstanding gays around me who all also have headless online profiles of themselves with the words 'uninhibited' in the profile text. Anyway, I also hear that there was much dirty mackereling going on elsewhere that weekend, as a certain hot bearded svelte ex-Beaverhausen was in town for a visit. Sadly, I missed seeing His Wuuufness in person. Anyhow, I don't think BeBar should be so expensive...the 'hood it's in isn't quite so safe just yet. Pay a $5 cover after risking a knifing on the walk there? No way!

Yes, I know the new Kelly video is out. Thank you.

I am trying not to think about tomorrow. I've been invited to a few election night parties (a DC thing for sure) but I don't see the potential doom of the election of any additional Republicans as a spectator sport. The only thing about it that I like is seeing Tim Russert tired as hell at 1 in the morning. Now that's funny. Anyhow, Virginia is very likely to get a very mean anti-gay marriage amendment. Should it pass, Virginia will never see my dollar again. I will only pass through the state if I absolutely have to. Virginia sucks and is a backward place that deserves to get pulled into an antimatter space-time conjoinment and end up in an alternate dimension.

I am also concerned about Wisconsin's anti-gay marriage amendment. Actually, I'm more concerned about the character of a state that was once progressive and 'live-and-let-live' but now seems to be getting more and more uptight, I think due in part to massive suburbanization. Suburbanization promotes sameness and a fear of difference. Those people do not interact with people outside their class and cultural groups, and are more likely to not know any gays (or blacks, or etc., etc.). Anyhow, I can't help going back there to visit family, but I hope the state votes on the side of fairness. I will be making some calls tonight, very much preaching to the choir, but it's important to speak my peace.

I had high hopes of meeting up with a hot bearded redhead this weekend, but he flaked out. I hate it when they don't have the balls to say they're not interested, or say to your face "I'll call you back" but don't. There are nicer ways to back out without flaking out. Some people suck and have no spine. Anyhow, the redhead was a hottie and I'm disappointed it didn't work out, although I suspect by his sketchy behavior that he already has a boyfriend.

That's not to say I haven't had some very nice dates though. About a month ago I met a very nice, intelligent, bearded, geeky (a good thing), well-traveled man also orginally from Wisconsin. With all those factors you'd have thought it would work out, but one thing was missing - any kind of spark. There's no reason for the lack of it, and it can never be explained, but I now it when I [don't] feel it by now. That was disappointing, but it was good to get reassurance that there are still some good guys out there. When you're single and dating, the turkeys out there can be very discouraging for a hopeful romantic, and shitty behavior makes you want to quit. Anyhow, the lesson learned with this good guy is that commonalities are not necessarily a guarantee for romance or compatibility. Sometimes it's just an undescribable thing that makes you want to be with someone, even when you have little in common.

Posted by jimbo at 11:10 AM | Comments (7)

November 3, 2006

hot, out, gay biologist discovers new crab species

Delicious. Say it with me, slowly, with feeling, right there in your cubicle: dee-lishhh-usss. That describes the stench of Republican party and evangelical movement implosion under the weight of their own hypocricy. I love it.

Golly, there sure are a lot of closeted uptight gay Republicans out there working as hard as they can to demonize gays, yet behind closed doors they are snorting crystal meth and getting fucked hard. Fuckers.

MikeJones.gifThis just in: Haggard's ho (left), Mike Jones, is kinda hot.

Anyway, homos police their own, and we are reminded how small our world really is. These days there seems to be more outings than ever before, due in part a lot of times to the speed of the internet and its various media forms, like blogs. Note to any of you closeted uptight gay Republicans and hypocrites working against happy out gay people: we are going to get you, so you better turn it down or else. If someone wants to be closeted, fine, but when you actively work against people who aren't, we're going to fight back, and you have a great weakness in your supposed secrecy. We will find that weakness and exploit it, and we will expose you.

But the downside of all these delicious outings of these hypocrites in the media is that most of the stories about these people are sad and negative. It is possibly the only news many heteros get about gays, so I worry that negative stereotypes are being fortified. Sad closeted gay politician is a chicken hawk. Sad closeted gay religious guy likes hos and Tina. Sad closeted gay entertainer froths at the mouth and jumps on couches and is slowly going crazy. Everyday news, or good gay news, just doesn't make the news that often. It would be nice to read stuff like this once in a while:

- Happy, out gay man makes rent/car payments for 8th consecutive month in a row;
- Out happy gay man spots migrating white-throated sparrow outside his bathroom window, determines bird is from Canada en route to Mexico;
- Out happy gay man has relatively calm, drama-free week. Goes out for drinks on Friday.

The Crab People will make you overBut I guess that's what blogs are for. Oh wait! I know some good happy out gay news! I know of a very hot, out red-headed genius gay biologist who was part of a research team that recently discovered hundreds of new reef species off the shores of Hawaii. On this trip said hot out gay biologist discovered his own species of crab, which I hope he names after me. Sadly, he cannot disclose pictures or more information until the official academic paper or article is released, but I'll fill you in as soon as possible. How come so many new species were found there? Sea says, "We were 2 days under sail from
Honolulu. What research has gone on out there has been focused on big flashy endangered species, like monk seals, and albatrosses, but the little things have recieved little attention."

Sea found this new crab using good 'ol curiosity:

"I found the crab by flipping rubble in about 60ft of water. Just like looking for salamanders when you were little. I didn't know it was a new species until I was told by my advisor. I did recognize it as something I had never seen before, and as a beautiful little crab."
Since early youth, Sea has had a deep appreciation and curiosity for all critters, and still does to this day. I think Sea will be a great and famous biologist some day.

It's not big happy out gay news, but happy out gay news nontheless. There you go. Happy out hot gay biologist makes a new discovery.

So what is your happy out gay man or sparkly out lesbian everyday news? Same goes for you gay-friendly breeders. What is your small, positive, average, mildly interesting quasi-newsworthy accomplishment this week?

Posted by jimbo at 11:17 AM | Comments (16)

October 29, 2006

Scandinavian Words of Wisdom from Mom

Unite, and work for health!On the phone today with mom who just read an article about bug chasers and asked me if it was true, and I said, "Yep," to which she replied:

"I don't think people have enough to do."

Well there ya go. If you are a Scandinavian Midwesterner, WORK is the solution to all of the world's problems. So I'm going to write a grant for NIH for a public health campaign poster is going to depict a socialist realism interpretation of muscular gay men in the factory hard at work with headwraps, holding hammers and riveters, with the slogan "WORK = HEALTH" because that's how my Mom says it should be.

I kid, but perhaps there is some wisdom there...

Posted by jimbo at 6:26 PM | Comments (4)

October 26, 2006

MLB scruff, issues with drag, and Republican angertwinks

OK, it isn't the woofiest World Series ever, and the teams are like the Detroit Tiggers and the Saint Louis Arches or something. Teams I've never heard of. But the Jimbo woofy picks from each team are Nate Robertson and Chris Carpenter, respectively:

So I try to explain to this guy why I have done drag, because apparently it's quite loathsome to him. (Methinks dost thou protest too much...) So I try to answer his question as to why people do it, and the comment doesn't get approved. Hrmmm...question must have been rhetorical I guess. "Personally, it actually turns me off," he says, to which I respond: "Did I ever say I was trying to turn you on?" I know Charlene was cute, but I do not expect the average person to start humping my leg. I already get too much of that as Jimbo, and I tire easily.

Doing drag is sort of an accelerated study on Who's Got Issues With Gender Identity. On Tuesday during the race it was interesting to note that the straight guys (who have nothing to prove) were all over me and getting their pictures taken, whereas a sizeable number of identified gay men were standing away at a safe distance, shuffling their feet, looking warily at me, as if I was some kind of threat. Don't worry guy-gays: wearing drag or standing next to a drag queen will not make your penis fall off. In fact, I have a wonderful relationship with my penis and plan on having a glorious future with him. We talk almost every day - using sign language of course...

Anyhow, I have noticed that it is actually gay men who have the bigger problem with drag - not straight guys. Sort of like it's the really righteous fuckers that end up being the closet cases in politics. And usually it's the self-identified "'masc' (short for masculine), down-to-earth, 'straight-acting', 'gay doesn't define me'" types of guys - e.g. those with inherent masculinity issues and gender role conflicts.

I'll often use drag as a litmus test on dates, bringing it up as an item of conversation during a meal. If they freak out about it or choke on their food, there are deeper issues that only a shrink can help him with. Since I'm not a shrink, I'll conclude the guy is not an optimal mate for me. I do not want to sift through somebody's unresolved issues with bullshit definititions of what being a man is, masculinity, or with being gay.

I remember having issues with drag when I came out. Posters advertising the film "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" were out at the time, and I remember having a level of resentment against it, feeling threatened and having to reassure myself that that wasn't me. Well, it was a fun film, but still not me. Drag is simply a fun thing to do for me, like rugby, birdwatching and an occasional game of Scrabble.

I ran the drag race the first time as it simply looked fun to put a costume together and participate in a local event (I got 2nd!). The second time I did it was the Halloween after 9/11, and felt I was doing a public service to help distract people from the disaster and to make them laugh. Mission accomplished, as I wiped out during the race and made a spectacle of myself. This year during such dark times in this country's history, I felt it was important to run just to be a freak, since the current Republican administration is all about conformity and either disenfranchising anything that is not white, Christian, male and straight, or outright attacks against anyone outside these categories.

I did it because it was fun. I couldn't stop giggling while running from Corcoran to R Streets. Plus, it was just another form of drag, not unlike what I wear to work, the rugby pitch, or out at the bar. In fact, the only thing I think that is not drag that I wear is me in my boxer shorts, which are worn only to keep me from getting skid marks on my chair.

Another example of self-loathing bullshit that I no longer want to deal with in this town was with a young gay Republican angertwink last night at rugby practice. I try to be civil with these people with the knowledge that they are a mess inside and ultimately headed back into the closet, to rehab, or to many years of psychotherapy to deal with their unresolved issues with the need to be accepted by the "guy's team" of fucking Repubs. Anyway, I digress...this angertwink's apparent boyfriend was nearby, I was curious about the situation and asked in a completely harmless and lighthearted way, "So, is that The New Missus over there?" To which he snapped curtly: "I don't date women." To which I should have said, "Fuck you, you goddamn self-hating uptight motherfucking stick-in-the-mud." But I'm not witty that quickly so I just walked away. This wasn't the first uptight response I've gotten from this guy, or from fucking gay Republicans I've had the mispleasure of socializing with. You'll always get some kind of defensive, anti-feminine or anti-gay response, especially when gender or gay issues are involved in the conversation. Frankly I'm sick and tired of dealing with these headcases and their twisted perception of reality and their need to conform to a group that will never accept them. I've decided that after 10 years in this town and having been out for 15, I'm just not going to bother with these people anymore. It's like an excursion into the Twilight Zone every time you try to deal with social static like this piece of crap, and it just pisses me off every time. To save future frustration and such patronizing responses, I will limit my communication with this particular person and any future uptight fucking gay Republican unless absolutely necessary. I really don't want to interact with these Uncle Toms anymore because they are pathetic. It's just not worth the breath required to talk with these people, and certainly not worth my time.

Posted by jimbo at 10:17 PM | Comments (18)

October 24, 2006

the biggest hair on the block

Charlene and Rob
Charlene Hilton was a hit this evening with the biggest hair on 17th Street! People knew Charlene was from Texas right off the bat. Rob (at right) did the face.

Face: Miss Veronica Blake
Hair: Miss Vicki Vox
Shoes: Payless
Pants: Chung

See more pictures at the break...

All the Jennifers who came to watch had to take pictures. There were spots in my eyes by the end of it:
Charlene and Rob
More disturbing to me than doing drag was the great white gut that hung over the tight Capri pants:
Charlene and Rob
Much thanks to Rob who helped put on the paint for almost 2 hours! Hair was done in a separate facility by Miss Vicki Vox using chemicals that put more diameter to the hole in the ozone layer, which the hair stuck through. By the end of the evening my face hurt from the tape that pulled my arching brows up higher:
Charlene and Rob
Although I started in the second row of many very competitive queens, I placed in the top ten, passing many on the way! Thanks to Piranha Sean for the cardio training and Renegades Rugby Team Coaches France and Risinger for the wind sprint anaerobic recovery training this fall.
Charlene and Rob
Photo by Blogstar Brettie, where Charlene tries to seduce the rugby team just like she saw the booty girls in the BellBivDeVoe video that she just saw on YouTube. "me and the crew used 2 do her"
that girrl is poison...

Posted by jimbo at 10:55 PM | Comments (36)

Watch the Drag Queens, Save the World

Last night's Heroes was a hoot as usual. I really like that show. Howabout that candidate Petrelli (Adrian Pasdar) hottie? His smile is devastating, and even though he's a lean little tidbit of a man, I think he's dreamy - and the man can fly. And don't forget: if you save the cheerleader, you save the world. Huh, whaddaya know - he's married to a Dixie Chick. Me want shirtless screenshots of the man.

And if you weren't floored by last Friday's Battlestar Galactica you are probably neurologically damaged in some way. Howabout Galactica's low-atmosphere Viper fighter deployment and subsequent jump into lightspeed? WOW that was the coolest special effect I've seen in years.

Tonight is the drag race, starting at 9pm. Be there early, like 1 hour in advance at least, if you want a decent place to stand and watch. Do not call me tonight to ask where and what time it is...if you haven't caught an ad or know it by now, please don't interrupt my transformation into Charlene Hilton, the illegitemate half-sister of Paris, who was exiled to Dallas.

And if I hear the words "Grey's Anatomy" one more time I'm going to puke in the face of whoever said it. No, I will not watch it. That is all.

Posted by jimbo at 12:24 PM | Comments (18)

October 18, 2006

when contractors ruled the world

I've been at home all stuffed up and sicky with a cold. A mere walk to the grocery store for vitamin C products had me all tuckered out. On the way there I noticed how contractors rule DC during the day. Every side of every block has a construction van or truck, gutting or fixing up this house or that. I suppose it's better than urban decay, but it's interesting how this city transforms between 9 to 5 and the evening during the week.

This week I celebrate three years at a single job - the longest I've ever been in a job. Between Peace Corps, various seasonal park ranger jobs and a ride on the dot-com boom and bust, I have never been in a position so long. This longevity will certainly improve my resume, although I am unsure that my current workplace will become my career. I am currently comfortable in the position, and feel like I just got into the swing of things recently. My desktop publishing and media relations experience has really improved, and I'm happy to say I'm doing less HTML than in past jobs. I did not like being a code jockey. In general, I like my job, my work environment and coworkers, which I suppose is why I'm still there.

During a dinner discussion earlier this week with a person nearly 10 years younger than me, he mentioned coming out in the age of the Internet. I can hardly imagine the resources you can find and take advantage of when coming out today. Back when I came out all we had was the public or university library, or you would have to take a road trip to the big city to find gay periodicals. Now you can access it anywhere, from anywhere. Is it easier for youth to come out today? Will there be fewer closeted politicians from Idaho in the future? I'm not sure...a simple search on the Internet could reveal just as many harmful messages as positive ones to those coming out. And it's easier to hook up and remain closeted, and worse, not be exposed to safe-sex messages before you do. It is perhaps too easy today to dive into things without a good knowledge base, since there's so much information out there to sift through. I wonder what a closeted or questioning young gay person thinks when they come to view this blog?

Boise 2 Men:

One more thought on the dead-horse, beaten, issue of outing anti-gay gay politicians: there seems to be surges in these outings every decade or so, which happen when The Gay gets too pissed off. It seems closeted, anti-gay politicians should be aware of this sentiment if they want to remain closeted...one anti-gay vote too many, or too much pressure on the Queens, and The Gay unites and revolts - otherwise we're spending our time ripping each other apart, but that's another issue. If there's anything I've learned in this town is that DC is a very small place, and there isn't a whole lot of room for complete anonymity. Whatever you do will be seen, heard, talked about, embellished or outright fabricated, especially if you're pissing people off.

Posted by jimbo at 5:43 PM | Comments (8)

October 15, 2006

drunk blog post

Blowoff was a hoot. I sensed it would be a crazy night early in the evening - and my psychic divinations turned true.

All I want to know is: what nasty queen left a skid mark on my toilet seat?

That is all.


Posted by jimbo at 3:17 AM | Comments (13)

October 11, 2006

Happy National Coming Out Day!

OMG I'm Gay! gay, Gay, GAY! A homosexual! A fudge packer! A fudge packee! A Green Bay Packer packer (I wish)! I'm, like, totally gay. I'm so gay I'm on a published list of homos in the student newspaper at the academic institution where I work. I'm so gay I'm in print, muthafukkas.

There, I got that out of my system. I feel better. No better time than the present to celebrate such an idea as being open and honest about one's orientation, as recent events on the Hill show what closets, secrets and hubris can to a person's psyche, party and career. People have an amazing capacity for creating their own versions of reality, regardless of what actual life calls on you to do. For more insight into the secret world of closeted gay Republicans here in DC, check out the second paragraph in this insightful piece by Andrew Sullivan:

In Washington gay life, the real Republican closet cases really do seem to exist in their own little, separate social bubble. You don't see them out in gay parties, gyms, cafes, restaurants or bars much. The worst are so screwed up no one would want to socialize wth them anyway. The openly gay Republicans, in contrast, are everywhere on the social scene... In my experience, the divide in DC is not between gay Democrats and gay Republicans; it's between those who are out and those who are not.

More sound words on closets here. I came out when I saw that a gulf was growing between me and my family and friends. I was able to forsee a time where they wouldn't know me, and I didn't like that version of the future. The things I thought I had to keep quiet about where making me a mystery to both me and them - and that's just not my style. Secrets are a kind of mental constipation - and an impacted psyche is just not pretty. Eventually, it all comes out one end or another. While it was challenging managing my 'out' status at first, these days it's been no great sacrifice.

In a sad display of intolerance, students at Gallaudet University here in DC, a major sign-language academic institution, have been protesting the appointment of a non-impaired university president. Apparently similar appointments have been protested before because the candidates were "not deaf enough". A university president has to wear many hats, from spokesperson to HR to development coordinator. Administrative experience should trump the presence or absence of being able to hear, in my opinion. Talk about a quiet riot.

This quote from John Stewart made me laugh so hard I cried:

I actually feel sorry for [Ann Coulter]. Once your career is based on denigrating 9/11 widows, what's your second act? Unless you dig up Mother Teresa and stick a dildo in her eye, nothing could be more offensive,
- Jon Stewart on the drag-queen who pretends to be a conservative for money.

My Peapod grocery delivery did not come today! This is the first time this has happened. However, when they arrive with the groceries and you are not there, they leave your groceries in a crate...packed with DRY ICE! I hope I get home in time after work today and there'll be some left for me to play with.

I'm looking forward to another Blowoff this Saturday. No rugby this weekend, so I plan on sleeping in both Saturday and Sunday. Aaaah....

Posted by jimbo at 10:06 AM | Comments (9)

October 7, 2006

a new adjective

foley - fo·ley. adj.

1 : describing lust for a younger thing:

"That new guy Matt on the team makes me feel all foley inside."

Posted by jimbo at 7:24 PM | Comments (2)

October 5, 2006

"the essential gay experience"

OLIVIA!!! Last year at the ON-J concert in Baltimore
With the promise of a spring 2007 launch of the off-Broadway musical version of 'Xanadu', my early 90s gay genes kick in and start screaming "OMG fabulous"! But what Olivia Newton-John, Kylie Minogue, Madonna and Xanadu mean to me may not mean very much to either the young'uns or the older folks amongst Our People.

Uffish had an interesting post where she talks about a young gay coworker who didn't know who Erasure was. Yes, it's a ghastly crime to be ignorant of such things, but when Chris and I proselytize about "the essential gay experience" required to retain your 'gay card', we are being no different than those who forced me to suffer though the two-hour movie classic 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?' and memorize all the crazy one-liners, or a grating all-night Norma Shearer film festival. Yes, they are camp classics, I understand. But camp is...so 70s. I came out in the 90s, where Vogueing, Freedom Rings and spiked hair was the thing. I could not relate to Bette Davis films, the importance of disco classics, and speaking with a constant stream of sexual innuendo inserted into every conversation. People my age and younger less likely to act like Charles Nelson Reilly or Paul Lynde. People my age are different, and people 10 years younger than me are different too. "The gay experience" means something different to each new generation of queers that comes out - which kinda proves that subscribing to any such set of cultural artifacts and norms is kinda moot. In a conversation last night with a very handsome and insightful bearded hottie, we talked about the things we did when we came out, how hard we tried to "be gay," only to find out in the end that we still liked the things we used to do when we thought we were straight. In the end, you still are who you were, just with a taste for man-cock and hard, hairy bodies - at from my experience anyway.

And for the Celtic experience, I'm going to the Maryland Renaissance Festival this Sunday with Chad for some kilt action hopefully as hot as this:
Drink my mead...
Anyone got a kilt or two me and Chad can borrow? Hot picture of woofy drunk kilted hottie stolen from Josh & Josh Are Rich and Famous, top ON-J photo by Blogstar Brettie taken last year at the fucking awesome Olivia Newton-John concert in Baltimore.

Posted by jimbo at 10:25 AM | Comments (7)

October 4, 2006

I 'heart' Jason

Scruffy Jason
BUTT Magazine, a fantastic pocket-sized magazine for homosexuals, features my scruffy buddy Jason as the promotional poster boy this month. They use Courier font on their website, so you know it's an underground 'zine and all that.

Posted by jimbo at 9:11 AM | Comments (7)

October 3, 2006

taking it to the bridge, chorus, and city hall

Sometimes in the morning when I wake up, I have to think: should I take it to the bridge, or take it to the chorus? Life is full of decisions...

Taking it to the background chorus on my new fave show Heroes last night was Wendy & Lisa of Prince's Revolution. Apparently they've been making the rounds on scores and soundtracks lately, from Dangerous Minds to Showtime's Carnivale. They've also apparently worked with Doyle Bramhall, said to be a great CD that shows their influence as backup. They're also all over Neil Finn's (Crowded House) "One Nil" or "One All" CD from a few years ago.

I love all the stench coming from The Hill these days. The sound of party implosion is DELICIOUS! Say it again for me y'all, slowly, with feeling: DEE-LICCH-USSS! Just remember, when the evil empire has crumbled, don't make the same mistakes you did before. The Class Matters website has some really interesting insights for progressive activists, whether they are low-income, middle class or rich white folks.

Dan 'Eyes of Smouldering Emeralds' TangherliniThere are some good, effective bureaucrats out there, however. Take DC goverment uber-hottie and all-around effective guy DanTan. Now that MetroRail can't have him, we will be blessed with his efficiency, clean-cut woofishness, and mezmerizing blue eyes for Fenty's term as Washington's city administrator. The Shallow Party of DC supports this appointment, and also the election of adorable cutie-pie Sam Brooks of Ward 3, especially in lieu of his crazy-ass megalomaniac Internet stalker opponent of the same ward...sadly, there are no equally cute candidates in my ward.

Speaking of an anticipated groundswell of hotness and cuteness, here's all of your answers to questions regarding the opening of Nellie's Sports Bar in the OFFICIAL NELLIE'S PRESS RELEASE after the break...

November 13, 2006

Contact: Douglas Schantz: 202-297-1476

New Sports Bar to be One ‘Nellie’ of a Good Time

WASHINGTON—It is no longer uncommon to hear of a new business opening in DC’s vibrant U Street corridor. Nellie’s Sports Bar, however, will be the first establishment in the area to combine sports, good food, and fun in a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere.

Local fundraiser and former ad exec Doug Schantz has partnered with Silver Spring restaurateur Rocio Anzola, of the popular “Cubanos,” to bring this exciting sports scene to the Dupont/Logan/U Street community. Located in an historic former photography studio at the corner of 9th and U Streets, Nellie’s Sports Bar will be open seven days a week, serving a wide array of fresh food and drink. Schantz said that Nellie’s will also host events for local sports teams, alumni groups, and charities.

“Nellie’s Sports Bar will be the premier local venue to catch the game, no matter what the sport,” Schantz said. “We care about our customer’s viewing tastes. Our web site will allow sports fans to request their favorite sporting events and to reserve space on one of our many large plasma screen TVs.,” he said.

The name “Nellie’s” is a salute to Schantz’s great- and great-great-grandmothers, who were both named Nellie. The new sports bar was inspired in part by their whimsical and hospitable personalities.

“Nellie’s Sports Bar will be a great spot to grab a drink, even if you aren’t into watching sports,” Schantz added. The restaurant features soaring ceilings, antique décor, and an expansive roof-top deck that will allow guests to absorb the sites of the city from above.

“At Nellie’s, our goal is to be a great spot for friends to gather, relax, and enjoy a few drinks and some excellent food,” Schantz said. Co-owner Rocio Anzola has used her flare for cuisine to design an eclectic menu that will feature both sports bar favorites and lighter fare.

Nellie’s sports bar will open in mid-November of 2006. In addition to providing both indoor and outdoor spaces for private gatherings, the sports bar will feature weekly theme nights as well as larger events such as a Super Bowl party and a monthly “Hearts” card tournament that will benefit local charities. The restaurant is conveniently located at 900 U Street, NW, one block from the U Street/African American Civil War Memorial/Cardozo Metro Station. For more information, contact Nellie at nellies.sportsbar@gmail.com or visit the restaurant’s web site at www.nelliessportsbar.com.

Posted by jimbo at 9:45 AM | Comments (10)

September 26, 2006

Jimbo's 2000 blue Volkswagon Jetta-finding contest, and other shitty Monday happenings

My friend let me use and take care of his car while he was away on vacation. On Sunday afternoon I parked it on Swann Street, NW between 15th and 14th - but in a street cleaning zone for Monday. My bad, and it got moved, but not towed, according to the DC DMV towing agency. It was apparently moved to the 1800 block of 16th Street, NW, but when I searched for it this morning it was not there. I circled around all adjacent blocks searching with my LASIK-enhanced vision that allows me to see for miles, but no dice. Multiple calls to the DC DMV towing agency have come up with nothing, but they seemed to become very helpful-sounding when I asked them if I should call non-emergency, and suddenly asked for my name and number for further communications. But where is my friend's midnight blue 2000 Volkswagen Jetta, DC tags AR0144? Tonight's exercise will be to ride my bike around and look for it again, but if you e-mail me with the correct location of this car, and I find then it, I will take you out to dinner.

After having such a fantastic weekend and then losing my friend's car, Monday hit like the Terrible Tuesdays back when I was a club kid dropping E every weekend and had to recover from the ride. Damn, Monday felt like I did a 72-hour crystal meth binge starting on Friday. But no illegal substances were taken. Perhaps it was the high from such a good game on Saturday. I really was totally high from such a fun match, and I suppose there could be some medical credence to how I'm feeling today. Playing and winning is addictive, and I crave it. Just like when you drop E or acid on a Saturday night, the rest of the week seems grey and mundane.

And it doesn't help when Monday rolls around and I get an e-mail from a blog reader telling me that I look like Cameron Diaz' fat retarded brother in 'Something About Mary'. Hey Rob, thanks for having having such an awesome sense of humor! And it was so noble that you didn't put it in the comments section, but e-mailed me personally with the insult. I don't know what you were thinking by having to send that on a day that just kept getting worse, but it certainly was icing on the cake. It gets better:

I had a dinner date scheduled with a guy whom I was really looking forward to getting to know. But he called to say he had to work late. So that sucked.

On a positive note, since I had all this spare time I had set aside for the aborted date Monday night, "Heroes" on NBC was AWESOME. I loved all the characters, especially the Japanese guy ("Supa Hiro!") who can teleport and the cheerleader who seems to be nearly indestructible. And what's up with that stripper's power? Can she summon a version of herself who is kind of her Id? I know it's an X-Men ripoff, but I still can't wait until next Monday. Should anyone ask me on a date that day (Ha!) I'm afraid I'm booked, unless he wants to sit and watch with me.

This is why my City of Heroes computer game is so appealing to me these days. It's been a bad summer in general, with the death of a friend and a general lack of dates I have been really excited about. It would be nice, just once in 2006, to be asked out on a date by a guy where there was mutual interest right off the bat. But most of the time I seem to be the one always doing the approaching and advancing. Alpha Ant, Psister Shade, GooGuy and Tiny Troll were the preferred dates of summer 2006.

Or maybe I should just limit myself to rugby, running, the gym, work, and hanging out with friends. A monastic, ascetic lifestyle. Perhaps I'm not ready for the hard hits in the dating scene just yet.

So to sum up Monday, I lost my friend's car and I apparently look fat and retarded.

What a fucking shitty Monday.

Posted by jimbo at 2:52 PM | Comments (14)

September 22, 2006

weekend plans

This Saturday we have home matches against Rappahannock (a local league team) and the Atlanta Bucks (a hot gay team who came to play with us). Kickoff for Rappahannock is Noon at Colmar Manor Park. Kickoff against the Bucks follows immediately after the Rappahannock match finishes. Social to follow at Titan around 3 or 4ish.

Tonight we meet 'n greet the Bucks at the now dark but more spacious Titan at 7ish. I had a stressy week and don't know if I'm gonna go. We'll see how I feel when I get home tonight, if I don't pass out entirely.

I think a buncha us geeks are going to the Rennaissance Fair out in Maryland, which is always a hoot. I hope to see muscular men in kilts, and throw some axes or shoot an arrow at targets (not the men in kilts).

Posted by jimbo at 4:27 PM | Comments (2)

September 19, 2006

Renegades rugby in the news

Here I seem to be scrutinizing the thighs of the forward pack, but I'm actually preparing to put my shoulder into the meaty buttcheek of the person in front of me. This formation is called a 'scrum':
nice thighs
My rugby team was featured in the fitness section on page E5 in this morning's edition of the Washington Post Express, a free daily newspaper that is mostly read on Metro and public transportation. While the journalist got a few of the rugby details wrong, for the most part it is a good article. Hopefully we'll be able to get some good recruitment out of it:

Straight, gay, whatever: The Renegades are all about the sport. "I didn't know this was the gay rugby team when I joined," said Roberto Santiago, who recently retired due to a shoulder injury. "It took me, like, three weeks to go, 'Oh, I'm in the minority.' It was never an issue."
I would contend that these days the team is about half-gay rather than a majority, but I haven't done an actual head count. Hopefully the article will result in more recruitment, as it's been nice that we can scrimmage two full teams during practice since expanding our recruitment outside the gay community. Back in tha day it was challenging to recruit enough gay people to front a more competitive team in our local rugby union, so the board decided to go outside the box, which has been to the team's benefit. While some straight members may not return after learning about the nature of our team, most of them stay and play, I think simply due to the ideal location. Our practice pitch (field) is conveniently located for a lot of players living inside the beltway, while most local union teams practice way out in the 'burbs.

For the gay players who may get off on the idea of playing with and against straight guys, the idea wears off after a few practices. When you see the same people at practice and during matches so frequently, it all just becomes being part of a team. Although it does lead to some interesting conversations at post-practice and match socials, where the straight guys often walk away a bit more enlightened from accelerated learning from Gay 101 and 102 lectures (they usually test out and earn credit). And for that reason I think the integration of more straight players has been beneficial for both the team and for advancing awareness of gay issues.

Our very own M.C. Slanty has some fine footage of one of our teammates puking after drinking from 'the boot', coming up at minute 1:30 on this video:
little Matt pukes
In this picture I beat the real scrumhalf to the ball, and am digging it out from between the fat guys' legs to deliver it to the skinny folks who can run:
I dig, therefore I am scrummy
Images courtesy of BlogStarBrettie and D.J. Slanty.

Posted by jimbo at 5:14 PM | Comments (5)

September 18, 2006

a new 'nelly' sports bar in tha 'hood

Nellies logoOn Sunday I completely forgot to catch a sneak preview of the new Nellie's Sports Bar just around the corner from me at 900 U St., NW DC. The proprietor is a former neighbor of mine, and I think a gay sports bar is a neat idea. I don't know how much it will live up to the concept, but it's nice to be living somewhere where gay bars are popping up all around where I live!

This just in...video footage on YouTube of our Saturday rugby match. About halfway through the reel you can see me dig out a ball and do a nice scrumhalf delivery. Remember, I'm on the white, blue and scarlet team this time.

In case you didn't already mistrust the current administration, here's disturbing news about how connections to the GOP were/are more important than talent or skill in the rebuilding of Iraq. I can't imagine how much time, lives or my tax dollars have already been squandered by Joe-Bob's buddy Earl who had no international development experience but got sent overseas to manage these projects.

It is true that connections and contacts will get you places here in DC. I use it to my advantage and to help friends get jobs all the time. And to be fair I've worked under Clinton appointees that are complete bozos too. But one would hope that the appointer would give a little more consideration on how well the appointee can perform the job. But as is typical with a lot of those under W, most are incompetent and got their jobs from just knowing someone, many times to the detriment of said department's supposed customers.

Posted by jimbo at 11:18 AM | Comments (6)

September 8, 2006

many more gay thoughts

There's a great piece in this week's MetroWeekly about the integrity of the gay social movement. I really question whether we can present a sole unified voice for our cause (which/what cause?), but the idea is nice. But we're just a wildly diverse group of disparate people with only one thing in common - our sexuality - which is where the comparisons with the black civil rights movement ends. While they had religion, race and culture in common, we don't have such binds that tie, because we are many races, colors and cultures. But when push comes to shove the sole commonality might be enough some day to establish unity, if the threat is high enough.

That and many of us fancy ourselves as hardcore critics of all things, as in the infamous Duplex Diner/Abercrombie Wars on Craigslist between the gay DC young and old. It seems like every queen thinks he's either Rex Reed or Heidi Klum, or some love child thereof. With so much judgement and so little humility, there's no energy left to work on battling outside forces.

In regards to last week's blog entry about the P-town crowd and HIV, I think one commenter was able to summarize my thoughts in one sentence when I couldn't:

"...many gay men are too blasé about HIV infection..."

That's what was bugging me about what I was seeing in Provincetown and in the online and 'leather community'. No one seems to give a shit about contracting HIV anymore. Another commenter did account for his infection as a result of a mistake, but that's an exception rather than the rule, and it's still highly preventable. But some would argue that HIV is now a manageable disease like diabetes. But if diabetes were a communicable disease, and you could prevent yourself from having to monitor your glucose and take insulin the rest of your life, would you? I don't feel any different about HIV. I was only called out on my opinions in one instance, being told I was being judgemental and that it was foolish to think I could "plan" on remaining HIV-. Yep, I do plan on it, however foolish that may seem to some people. You see, there is one act that I don't do, and don't plan on doing it again, thus my 'plan' on remaining HIV-.

Now that I am over my post-vacation blues and back into my typical DC-induced celibacy, I still must wonder why the aura of desperation returns due to locale. For you see, here's the breakdown of social interactions in DC vs. Provincetown:

Approach attractive stranger in Provincetown: we immediately start flirting and then have hot sex.
Approach DC resident in Provincetown: we have a long, pleasant and engaging conversation.
Approach person with Dreamy Ron in tow in either Provincetown or DC: person ignores Jimbo & stares at Dreamy Ron's pecs.
Approach known DC resident in DC: resident gives brief, civil response, then starts talking about real estate.
Approach unknown attractive DC resident in DC: resident looks startled, then flees from jimbo.

Now this can be easily attributable to the vacation syndrome, where people have a more open mind and are in a good mood and are open to socialization. It may be attributable to my own attitude and approach as well. Maybe being single in DC for a year has beaten the confidence out of me and it shows. Or maybe I've been living here for too long and people see me and think "Oh, it's her again." Regardless, the difference in reactions by locale is tangible.

On a somewhat unrelated note, here's my Vermont mancrush Jason, rockin' the whole Jim Palmer Jockey ad look better than it was done before. I don't have a tightie whitey fetish, but I'm gettin' close...

Posted by jimbo at 10:43 AM | Comments (10)

September 7, 2006

wigging out

big fucking drag queen hairOK, I need a wig. I have a ratty old one that is losing more hair than Glenn and Mark combined, but I want BIG FUCKING DRAG QUEEN HAIR this year when I run the 17th Street High Heel Race on October 24th (always the Tuesday before Halloween). I have a pair of hot red stretchy Capri pants, and a Texas belt buckle, so I think I'll get a white blouse and go as Texas Trash.

So anyway, a big blonde or big red wig would be nice. I can borrow it or buy it off you, or if you just want to be rid of it, e-mail me at: Jimbo3DC@aol.com.

I will reward you with pictures of me in said wig.

Posted by jimbo at 1:24 PM | Comments (10)

September 4, 2006


In the words of Piranha Sean, this stingray 'Rolled a 20'. Deaths by stingray barb attacks are rare, and a direct hit to the heart rarer still. Rays are fairly peaceful unless provoked. I think the animal world was striking back from being pestered so much.

Today I went to see Another Gay Movie with the gurls, which was raunchy and silly and good for some gut laughs. It's pretty much a gay version of American Pie, where 4 guys are bound and determined to have anal sex before the summer is over. Hilarity ensues, with lots of penis and butt gags.

I also saw 'The New World' with that scruffy Irish guy in it. The cinematography was awesome, and the film was quite a trip. It was filmed using only natural light. Gurl pointed out that while Massachusetts was founded by religious fanatics and Virginia by merchantile interests, the opposite seems to be true today.

The hurricane came and went with a nice 24-hours' worth of light rain and crazy wind. It was fun, but little damage in the city except for some rotten trees that fell. Hurricanes are something I like about living here in DC. I find hurricane weather really exciting.

I went to my first college football game on Saturday. It was festive...with pyrotechnics! 'We' won. American football is a lot like rugby, but there's a lot of standing around, time outs and general laziness. Rugby is harder. Football players are pampered.

OMG DJ TM was lots of fun until the house got packed. DJ played lots of Old Skool. I didn't make it to Prince vs. Madonna at the Black Cat as I had just finished a huge meal and when I saw the line stretching down the block I knew I wasn't up for it, so I played City of Heroes until 4am. Hawt. I cannot get 'Look on the Floor' by Bananarama out of my head today.

Posted by jimbo at 11:44 PM | Comments (2)

August 31, 2006

wet wishes, deep thoughts

OMG it's a Prince vs. Madonna dance party this Sunday at 10ish at the Black Cat. I hope it's not too crowded. Seriously though, while I love Prince's music, I can't really dance to it. The dancing blue ribbon goes to Madonna hands-down. MadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonna!

I want it to rain. My garden wants it to rain. Our rugby pitch wants it to rain. Why won't it rain? I want Ernesto to come and park his wet soggy ass over the D.C. Metropolitan area for a couple of days. We've been teased by tantalizing thunderstorms for days but no rain. It takes at least 10 minutes of precipitation to penetrate the tree canopy above both of my gardens, or else it remains dry as a bone. Most people with yard plants don't realize this, and the brief thundershowers in this area don't do the trick to keep your plants watered. In late summer you have to water manually under the trees if you have plants there.

OK, my thoughts on Provincetown haven't congealed coherently yet, so I'll just write what's on my mind about it, and what I saw. The majority of people in P-town that weekend were older than me, between their 30s and 40s, predominantly coupled. Also, on a lot of the faces and bodies I was seeing the long-term effects of HIV meds, including the lipodystrophy, facial wasting, etc. I would contend at least 40% of the people I saw had that look going on. Just like at the Mid-Atlantic Leather celebration in January, I keep seeing more of that look in certain demographics, where I don't think the statistic of 1 in 10 people there are HIV+, it's more like 3-5 in 10 at least.

It's not the look or the serostatus that disturbs me, it's the numbers. I keep getting the feeling that in certain demographics, more people are poz than statistics say. From experience I know that people also lie about their HIV status, or sometimes even convince themselves that they are negative in their own minds (see: complete denial). If it's so easy to tell oneself or another a lie, it's easy to fudge a stat too. But I guess you can't lie on a blood test, but you can avoid one if you don't want to know the truth.

Again, I don't quite know what I'm saying here, but go here and here for more insight and discussion from Proceed at Your Own Risk and JoeMyGod, respectively.

I am HIV-, tested earlier this summer. On my hook-up site profiles I say very clearly, "HIV- and lookin' to stay that way," but that doesn't mean I won't hook up with or not date people who are HIV-, it just means I'm going to protect myself. I guess I am a product of when I came out, in the mid-90s when things were pretty scary with AIDS and HIV. There were education campaigns on how to play safe, and with a number of exceptions I can count on one hand, I've played it safe, I continue to do my best, and don't have much of a struggle doing so. I resolved when I came out that I would not be afraid of sex because of AIDS. But I also resolved I would put some latex on when I insert or am inserted. It has thus far not been a great sacrifice, and while I have barebacked, I don't see what the big deal is. It wasn't that much more of a mind-blowing orgazmic cosmicallifragilistic experience in my mind. Plus I also wear a condom to prevent wart or herpes transmission too, either on my dick or up my ass.

Flashback to two weeks ago in Provincetown: I'm with Adam in bed and he tells me he wants to fuck me raw, and I simply reply calmly and clearly, "No, let's put a condom on." He wasn't upset or embarassed, and neither was I, and we still had a hot time despite not having bitten from the forbidden fruit of barebacking.

So I guess I am disturbed as to why so many are HIV+ in these demographics ("leather community" and Provincetown vacationers, for example). In a nutshell, the majority of these people got their HIV status from getting fucked bareback (without a condom) by someone who was HIV+. And they did it after we all learned how not to become HIV+.

Sometimes I believe I will be in a minority of sorts when I reach my 40s, as I plan on keeping up my safe sex habits. I may have a family predisposition towards cancer, so by my 60s I don't predict I'll want to have to deal with complications due to HIV. I'll have other old person shit to deal with, and I do want to grow old. I do not buy the whole schtick about how one can "lead a normal life" on HIV meds when I have seen their deleterious effects first hand with a former roomate. The meds suck, they are expensive (you'd better have health insurance...), and wrack your body harshly if you react to them poorly. And I don't care what the whack activists say, HIV and AIDS can and does shorten your lifespan, as can the meds themselves. Sick is sick, and being sick from any virus simply sucks.

I guess I am unapologetic that I am HIV-, yet unafraid to have sex - but I have a certain kind of sex. I have sacrificed certain acts in order to preserve my health, and to date it has not been a big deal. I have seen some guys plunge into a monastic sexless lifestyle for fear of seroconversion, then going apeshit whorecrazy out of the blue with unsafe sex, then they become poz due to their extreme behavior vacillations. There is a middle ground somewhere, but people don't seem to know how to find it, and I don't know what the solution is, but I see these things and can only wonder what people are thinking, if they are thinking at all.


Posted by jimbo at 10:27 AM | Comments (8)

August 27, 2006

unwarranted ass-fingering

Due to an overwhelming amount of comment SPAM, I've had to shut off comments and trackbacks until further notice. In the course of a mere hour I can get up to two dozen adSPAMs that I have to clear out manually, which is a pain in the ass. Some of it is really filthy porn, stuff even I wouldn't care to look at. The rest is mainly for performance enhancing drugs and gambling for the most part.

My weekend got better after Friday, where I broke my vow yet again to not to go to Woof at Titan. It was like a sweaty blast furnace in there, an environment where I wouldn't even confine an Iraqi prisoner as it was so inhumane. But I felt compelled to go as the rugby team was putting on a fundraiser, but all I did was try to find a cooler spot to stand. On my search I got my ass fingered twice as it was so corwded, not in a good way either. I don't mind it if my friends do it as a salutation, but when strangers try to do it all I can wonder is "What kind of reaction are you expecting?" Although some strangers were civil and did give a simple and courteous 'hello', which was nice. I got out of there as soon as possible, where the humid DC weather was actually cooler than inside. I don't dislike people, but I do dislike unnecessary heat, humidity, crowds and unwarranted ass-fingering.

On Saturday I went on a nice tubing trip down the Upper Potomac near Harper's Ferry, West Virginia, with a few scruffy bloggers, partners, and friends. In contrast to the last tubing trip I went on, conversation was pleasant and the floaters were predominantly furry, including TJ, Jason and Steve, Copperred Carl and several others. I embarassed Tos' partner by commenting on his wonderful blond chest fur. We took pictures with waterproof disposable cameras, which I have taken to the photomat to be developed and posted later this week. The water was low, but warm, and the scenery was nice all around.

Posted by jimbo at 9:18 PM | Comments (0)

August 23, 2006

chew on this

Picture of me stalking Cyndi Lauper in Provincetown, compliments of handsome hunky Dave from L.A.:
Cyndi Stalker
And here's handsome hunky Dave from L.A.:
quite the swimmer

Today Miss In-Shaw has some refreshing rhetoric on home ownership and remodeling:

Since I intend to stay in the house for a number of years I don't want to invest in something for somebody else...I live in this house with the idea that once I get rid of the crackhead features, it will be the best reflection of Me that I can afford. Resale is the furthest thing from my mind. I figure whoever comes after me will move in and tear down or paint over whatever they don't like. What I do for the house will be for me. The color and type of floors, the texture of the ceiling, the light fixtures, the tile in the bathroom, layout of the kitchen, all for me. Me. Me.

I like reading that. In many urban social circles, all you hear about is how to ready your home for resale and flipping, and there is often little to no non-monetary personal investment into the issue. Is your home yours or already belonging to the next owner? I want to get to know people who want to live here, and I want to live next to people who are interested in living in the city, not just taking advantage of a hot market. Anyone else is just an ephemeral passer-by looking to make a buck.

Posted by jimbo at 9:40 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 17, 2006

OMG (a very drunk post)

OMG shoes:
I think you have too many shoes
I now have new semi-casual shoes, and new running shoes. I think I have too many shoes.

OMG cute gay pug:
cute pug
Today was Carnival parade, the theme was Gay Paris and all that. The pug was cute.

OMG Rusty:
cute pug
Rusty had to like call Chrisafer and say "OMG jimbo is here!" and to like discover, horror of horrors, that I DON'T HAVE A CELL PHONE! And Rusty says, "Jimbo, you're not as Bearish as I thought!" Thanks, betch.

OMG Cyndi:
Miss Cyndi Fucking Lauper
CYNDI FUCKING LAUPER! Note To Bear Bodyguards Around Cyndi: Listen, I'm Scrummy, betch, and if you think you can shove me away from Her Unusualness you have another thing coming. I have a high-performance camera - this ain't no cell phone camera, betch - and I'm going to fucking use it on Cyndi, OK? Pappa-fucking-razzi, so suck my cock. Just put your feeble shoving back in your little Oshkosh B'Gosh overall pants pocket and suck it, because my shove is your love and you can't move me away because I'm Scrummy, betch!

OMG Drunk People in Line:
union of rum
We were brought together by a 40 minute wait for expensive drinks.

OMG more Drunk People:
This is Brad from DC. And because I look good in this picture.

OMG even more Drunk People:
Lee is woofy
I'm with the fucking DJ, betch.

Posted by jimbo at 7:58 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

August 14, 2006

the deathmarches will continue until you have done everything gay in Provincetown

Day three of the Provincetown deathmarches continues. They have been dragging my bloodied carcass across this Cape against my will, starting from our base of operations, nonstop, no rest, no breaks, surviving only on cocktails and fabulous dinners. And between all these deathmarches I have relationships to destroy, and have only averaged 4 homewrecks per day. I must work harder! Anyway, the town web cam focuses right on our home, the mustard building. The arrow points to my window, and the circle is actually us:
83 Bradford
Today I broke up a couple from Denver, right after this picture was taken. The woofy one with the goatee is Alan, who is a very hot guy from Seattle. I really want to break up this couple, who live just downstairs. They don't ride their Harleys much, nor have asked me to ride with them.
The deathmarches thus far include: Commercial Street, Paramount at Crown and Anchor, Purgatory, Provincelands at the Cape Cod National Seashore, and tonight my carcass was dragged up all 116 steps and 60 ramps through the Pilgrim Memorial where my hair got messed up from the wind:
On the beach I held a rock pageant, as the stones on the beach were all so pretty, I couldn't decide which one was the prettiest:
After the rock pageant finals, I did some birdwatching:
Beyond the main berm into the dunes, the most interesting thing I spotted was some kind of seabird skeleton. There were primates wagging their genitals at me, but weren't as interesting as the seabird skeleton and fishes running at the forefront of the incoming tide.

Posted by jimbo at 6:52 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

August 13, 2006

Ya tebye pokazhu Kuzkenu matb!

I've been yearning for years to make a blog post from a popular gay beach, opening the blog entry with some pretentious phrase in a foreign language that makes an obtuse reference to the theme of my blog entry that no one really understands, and now I can. My life is nearly complete because of it.

Here's the view from our skylight in Provincetown. I have a fairly spacious pad, at a reasonable price in a good location. Not bad for a breakup special. I am here on the graces of one half of a breakup. The other flew off magnanimously and left me the space, so it was a bit cheaper than normal:

It took me like 20 minutes to find the best image manipulation program installed on a basic Windows/PC setup that does not have Photoshop, what a pain in the ass. Anyway, once I figured it out I can now post pictures of Dreamy Ron in his Speedos for those of you who asked:

Dreamy Ron

Ron and I are an excellent tag-team pair of wingmen for each other, to put it nicely. And people here are so friendly to both of us!

Jimbo, beach
Thus far I am the whitest creature on the beach, next to the beluga whale carcass that washed up earlier this week. With daily applications of sun and fun, this will change. Provincetown is very different than Washington, DC. Let's count the ways:

  • People are friendly and return a sincere "hello," rather than either ignoring you outright or saying hello so they can get your real estate portfolio. Even my snooty neighbors, who could not even return a nod on the street back in DC, stopped and chatted for 20 minutes! What's up with that?
  • It smells like brine here, the sky is clear, the air is very fresh (but briny), and it is nearly silent at night.
  • There are lots of gay couples on vacation here.
  • There are friendly Russian summer workers here, with whom I have been exercising my fading Russian language skills. The post entry tagline references a taunt declared by Nikita Kruschev in response to American aggression, that loosely translates to "Yo Mama" or "I will fucking crush your ass into paste." The metaphor I wish to express in its use is to declare a challenge to those who would tarnish my honor and integrity just to avoid addressing their own long-ignored issues.
  • Man, there's like a million supa-hot guys here and they are flirty, friendly and are total whores and don't bat an eye, and I love it.
  • I feel like I've been sucked into a time warp and am back in the 70's or something, but I'm playing safe and having lots of fun. And boy did I need an ego boost.
  • Posted by jimbo at 7:41 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

    August 12, 2006

    it's so gay here even the seagulls have a lisp

    Greetings from Provincetown! We didn't have the problems during airline security as expected - don't believe the hype on the news - it took us only 40 minutes to get through check-in. The catamaran boat that took us from Boston to Provincetown was pretty cool - and fast! I looked for whales but didn't spot any, as there was plenty to look at on board. After a deathmarch up and down Commercial Street like twelve times, they finally allowed me to take a nap - but only for 5 minutes before they made me scrub the floors before going out. Our pad is very nice, and when you look out of our skylight room you can see the wierd-lookin' Pilgrim memorial, which I want to go see up close. Of course, I will be birdwatching too. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out how to fiddle with cam pics to post some while I'm here.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:17 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

    August 11, 2006

    friday 'stache orgazmaganza

    Here's my Daddylicious and former blogger friend Bubba from Houston. Only the two images to the right are original, but I used the rubber stamp tool in Photoshop to porn'stachify the image on the left to illustrate the true 70s Porn Star 'Stache look. Now we love the fu and the woofy beard, but I had to show what this week's look was about:
    Daddy Bubba's Incarnations of Hotness

    It is important to point out the nice work shirts Bubba is wearing in the photos. Gurl, take me shopping with you!

    I would have to say this woofer, posing in front of a surrey with a fringe on top, is the 70s Porn 'Stache Week winner for rockin' the 'stache so well with his whole look:

    Surrey with a woofer on top

    Finally, here's an unrelated photo of me at the Nats game on Wednesday's Night Out with the Nationals at RFK stadium taken by Dinger. I think that's clickboo in the background:
    Jimbo at Nationals game at RFK
    I look so stern focusing on the delightful cotton crack sold there. I think it cost like $14.50 or something.

    Tomorrow I'm off to Provincetown for a week. Gotta get up at a godawful early hour to take off from Dull-ass Airport to get through the anti-gel security. I won't be packing lube in my carry-on.

    Posted by jimbo at 6:53 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

    August 6, 2006

    cell phone users are like cockroaches

    Today I rode up the C&O Canal Towpath bike trail to my Secret Platform overlooking a pinch in the Potomac to try some fishing. Lo and behold, there was a fucking cell phone user there, blabbing away, on MY SECRET PRIVATE PLATFORM IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!! Now normally, nobody is ever there except the occasional fisherman. It is remote and private and quiet. But, like cockroaches, the cell phone users find a way, and one was there, having a VITAL conversation in the middle of the one tiny bit of wilderness allowed in DC. But also like a cockroach, he disappeared suddenly and without a trace as well, which was kinda wierd because I didn't even see him leave.

    Anyway, I brought my fishing pole and was trying to catch fish, but only got a few interested glances from small bass. Kind of like when I went out to Cobalt Saturday night with a buncha Chupacabra-tequila-drinkin' queens to go shake it to the groovy tunes of OMG DJ TM™, which was very fun, but boy did I hurt this morning. Thanks to Homer who brought the troublesome liquid in the first place. Man, that brand is smoove, but devastating. Good stuff.

    Friday evening I went to go see The Oh in Ohio featuring Liza Minelli, Parker Posey and a hot bearded Paul Rudd:
    I liked it, and my review of it is featured on Queer Beacon.

    Posted by jimbo at 8:41 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

    August 4, 2006

    a rhetorical analysis of George Michael's rant in the park

    Now what kind of eco-freak in DC would recommend that someone plant a sod roof and use it as a prairie chicken habitat?
    washington post express
    I assured Mari that the introduction of the Greater Prairie Chicken (Tympanuchus cupido pinnatus) into Shaw would guarantee some very early morning wake-up calls.

    Speaking of wake-up music, OMG DJ TM™ is spinning this Saturday at Cobalt. I plan on going to shake it, pre-disco cocktails at my place beforehand. I certainly have plenty, as I didn't bring any booze along with the small horde I invited with me to Chris and Chrisafer's party. Mental note: it is rude not to bring alcohol to a party, especially when you're also bringing 20 other people...

    The dude with the porn star 'stache playing Albert Einstein at the Keegan Theatre's production of Steve Martin's Picasso at the Lapin Agile is kinda hot. I'm just sayin'...

    This dude on the right from MetroWeekly's Scene section is also kinda hot. I think he works out at my gym, and I was checking him out on Monday but wasn't sure if he was gay or not. Looks like it's time to head out to the Eagle some time soon...say hi from Jimbo if you know him. Speaking of the gym, my more regular attendance has got me down to my pre-P-Town goal of 175, from a winter weight of 180. Rugby doesn't necessarily keep the wieght down for some reason. It takes regular cardio to burn it off these days.

    Let's take a close look at some of the things George Michael had to say to the press as they caught him cruising in a public park north of London, OK?

    "I don't believe it!"

    Believe it, Sister. What part of fame didn't you understand?

    "This is my culture!"

    Whose culture? Not mine. Like I've said before, no one is forcing you to subscribe to a certain set of behaviors, language or acts. Think of it as more of a buffet, where you may choose or reject the lima beans, Jell-O or red beets. (Mmm...beets).

    I've seen this pitfall with acquaintances in the past. In one case, a guy was defending his drug use/abuse to his concerned family since doing drugs is part of being gay. Another guy I knew who also believed in that connection had to renounce being gay, since being gay meant going to clubs and going to clubs means doing drugs, so therefore if one has to kick drugs one needs to renounce being gay. Get it? And today he's no longer gay. Hey, if someone's got a substance abuse problem, I'm all for whatever it takes to kick it.

    Anyhow, like the above examples, just because one is gay does not mean one must or has the right to cruise in the park. It just means you're into the hunt, or terribly desperate.

    "I'm not doing anything illegal!"

    Well George, I'm all for multiple use management of city, county, state and federal recreational property, but some uses are incompatible with other public uses. For example, you shouldn't allow hunting where there are campgrounds. Backcountry wilderness backpackers don't like the sound of ATVs or chainsaws. Likewise, dog walkers and people with children don't like to see your failed liposuction saddlebags jiggling in response to the carnal acts of a frumpy lorry driver working you up and down. Don't you have enough money to get yourself taken care of at home?

    "I can do whatever I want!"

    Of course you can. Start with a lampshade over your head and go from there.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:15 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

    August 1, 2006

    on interpersonal miscibility potential in varying social groupings

    Some more photos, courtesy of mean old Homer from the weekend. This is me at Kennilworth Park & Aquatic Gardens checking out the impressive giant lotus plants:
    jimbo at Kennilworth

    Here jimbo realizes the A/C is down as Dreamy Ron smiles on. Ron has nice sugar tits and biceps like giant juicy albino kumquats. Conclusion of the party soon to follow as the temperature rises.
    lotus plant
    I have since gotten a new window unit. I recall that my air conditioner broke around this time last year too. Apparently Homer brought the Tucson heat with him, but eventually admitted ours was worse due to the humidity. Let's hope it's not this hot until mid-August. But then again, I'm off to Provincetown with Dreamy Ron by then, so who gives a frak!

    Despite the heat, my guests got along well. I like to get all my disparate groups of friends together from the various facets of my life, be it rugby, D&D, neighbors, blog friends, or work. They probably get along that way in a party setting because they all have a Jimbo in common. This sometimes gives me a utopian view of how things actually work in non-jimbo settings where these disparate groups of people may not always mix so well. Why shouldn't everyone get along like this? If I was the Ultimate Ruler of the Universe they would get along and everyone would be nice to each other - or else. But life doesn't always work that way, and the miscibility of different kinds of people in non-jimbo settings isn't always so smooth.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:38 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

    July 30, 2006

    dragonflies & sweaty men

    Today Homer and I braved the heat to go out to Kenilworth Park & Aquatic Gardens to see some wildlife and lily pads. We're both worn out from the heat and last night's excesses (more on that later), so I will be brief. Here's a pretty dragonfly (Perithemis tenera - the Eastern Amberwing Dragonfly, thanks Sea!) I caught trying out the macro setting on my camera:

    Lots of beautiful lilies and lotus flowers there:
    lotus plant

    This is a swallowtail butterfly on a butterfly milkweed:

    Homer said the lotus pods look like triffids:

    I take the best heron pictures ever:
    great blue heron

    Sweaty gurls at Chrisafer's party:
    Chrisafer, Jimbo and some adorkable guy

    One more picture, compliments of EarlGurl, of me at the party when I realized my A/C had broken:
    my precious air conditioning!

    Posted by jimbo at 5:39 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

    July 26, 2006

    Ariel, Thundarr and Ookla respond to 'N Sync crisis

    Ariel OMG Lance Bass is gay!
    Thundarr Lords of Light! You mean the big hairy guy from 'N Sync?
    Ariel No. Sorry Ookla, it's the bug-eyed blond one who tried to go into space and is dating
    Limeskin Ripeswell or something like that.
    Ookla >:' [
    Thundarr Too bad it wasn't JT.

    Posted by jimbo at 9:13 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

    July 20, 2006

    it's alright

    I've been an Indigo Girls fan for over a decade, but I always thought the dark-haired one had the higher voice and the blonde one was the husky-voiced one, but after finally seeing them in concert last night for the first time I stand corrected. Thanks to Blogstar Brettie I was treated to a great concert out at Wolf Trap. Give right-of-way to the lesbians for sure. They played a nice set with a lot of favorites, including The Wood Song and Chickenman. The Indigo Girls will be the last musical act I will have seen with my original eyes before tomorrow's laser eye correction surgery.

    Earlier this week I had dinner with Swede and Czech and Malajustin, both good company.

    Posted by jimbo at 8:27 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

    July 18, 2006

    A Stalker's Pledge

    No Harm Shall Visit The Bamber
    for as long as I breathe.
    His Auburn Halo shall glow for me.
    His scruff forever present,
    hot British accent barely held in check.

    Hey Bamber Stalkers...a larger desktop version of this image with hi-rez scruff and chest fur can be found here.

    Just ignore the inane Out magazine copy text, which undoubtedly conjectures whether or not Bamber is gay, whether or not Apollo is gay, blah blah blah. Neither are, but hotness sells magazines.

    As my husband, The Bamber transcends gay/straight labeling. He is simply mine.

    From Carl, some more definitions...I'm definitely guilty on both counts of being both a Cuddleslut and a Cuddlewhore. I was once most impressed by a very memorable Christmas trick way back when where the guy made it clear beforehand that he was a Cuddlewhore, and also made me pledge ahead of time that we would cuddle afterwards. That's my kind of guy.

    Cuddleslut: A guy who loves to cuddle after sex, even if it's just a hookup. Can be a challenge to get rid of, though usually a spritz from a water bottle will get them out, just like a kitty out of the fish pudding. They must give off some sort of vibe, as they drive even average people to letting strangers stay the night. Even I've been seduced, and liked it.
    Cuddlewhore: A guy who hooks up with you only for the purpose of cuddling afterward. Can often be a touch sanctimonious, as they feel they've "paid" for the cuddling, by putting out. The water spritz won't work. There may not be a way out, as far as I'm aware. Prepare for dreams of gnawing your own arm off, and pray you brought a sedative.

    Posted by jimbo at 8:24 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

    July 17, 2006

    Jennifer and the Giant Purse

    I can handle this kind of heat just fine - as long as the humidity is low. It is supposed to hit 100 today in DC, but as long as my sweat actually works for me and that haze isn't blocking my view of the sky, I can do heat waves. Yesterday I even went for a nice bike ride up the C&O Canal Towpath trail with OMG DJ Timothy Mykael, showing him Little Falls and a secret and strange platform right near where the Potomac becomes very narrow. Does anyone know what that secret platform is for? I suppose if it's secret you won't know...

    Saturday OMG DJ TM™ was spinning at Cobalt, and I stopped by to say hi and possibly shake it for a bit. I didn't have the energy reserves to fight the crowd at the Nation closing party. Did anyone go? How was it? Anyway, there were few woofers at Cobalt with like 1 or 2 exceptions. A few friends arrived and we danced for a bit, but because we are so old now (in gay years) we grew tired, our backs ached and we went home.

    There were a large number of Jennifers at Cobalt, with requisite mega-purses, buffeting anyone in a 10' radius with their bag. My question to you, Jennifer, is this: what the fuck is in your purse that is so goddamn important, and why do you need to bring it to the club? Can't you leave it at your gay friend Chad's condo? All you need is an i.d. card, ATM card, some cash and your keys - that's it. I deal with Jennifers with giant purses by pretending to try to pick their purse pockets. I have no intention of stealing anything, but once Jennifer becomes aware that someone is fucking with her shit, she suddenly becomes acutely aware that she has a giant purse.

    Some clarification and definitions:

  • Jennifer: frequent screechy, young, annoying female patron at any given gay club. Rarely welcome;
  • Mike: Jennifer's real straight boyfriend, who we rarely see because she's really in love with...;
  • Chad: Jennifer's gay friend who takes her out to gay bars all the time. Chad has a fauxhawk and pops his polo collar;
  • Molly: Jennifer's slightly overweight and quiet sidekick, a friend since undergrad at GW. Molly works at an environmental nonprofit;
  • Tricia: Tricia and Jennifer used to hang out, but when Chad broke up with Robert, Tricia split and started hanging out with Robert but not Chad and Jennifer. Jennifer hates Tricia, especially when she sees her out at the club, because she's the only fag hag in the house!

    I am very much looking forward to a Blowoff-lite this Saturday at the 9:30 Club Back Bar. There are usually no Jennifers there.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:47 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

    July 10, 2006

    bring your hottie to USDA day

    When I go to my credit union to cash a check or whatnot, I'll often have lunch with a rugby teammate who works there. I'm a member of this credit union where I used to work (USDA) back in tha day. Today must have been Bring Your Hottie To Work Day today at USDA, for in the period of a mere lunch break, I spotted SIX USDA hotties. I worked there for 2 years and never saw that many when I was an employee.

    Cute little bearcubOr maybe everyone looks like a hottie since my mojo was lost some time in March, I think somewhere in Tuscon. I told Homer to e-mail it back to me in the form of a compressed .zip file, but he hasn't complied yet. I hope he brings it with him at the end of this month when he visits. I would like my mojo back.

    Apparently JoeMyGod was homebound much of the weekend as he kept sending me YouTube gems like this one of a cute furry red-bearded bearcub lip-synching 'You Made Me Gay' with Yukon Cornelius. I find his buzzcut contrasted with wooly beard, plus his slightly crossed eyes to be somehow attractive. Although my favorite from the Bears Gone Wild series is the one of the bear recanting Fiona Apple's memorable Grammy acceptance rant. If you caught the original, the cover is even more hilarious.

    And speaking of hotties...introducing yet another gay Scandinavian blogger from DC - Swede and Czech.

    Posted by jimbo at 1:50 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

    July 9, 2006

    changing channels

    In accordance with a resolution to get out and meet more people and be more social, I signed up for a tubing trip down the Shenendoah River organized by a friend who lives near me. It was a lovely, relaxing Saturday, and the weather cooperated, making for a lazy, but short three-hour drift through the green river valleys.

    While I enjoyed myself for the most part, I hadn't felt so socially awkward since high school much of the day, as the group of some 50 gay boys wasn't my usual posse. Sometimes I drifted alone on my tube, sometimes linking up to rafts of boys here and there, but not having much to contribute to chats during the trip. While I wouldn't call the group the A-List crowd, they might have been somewhere near A- or B+, concerned largely with teeth whitening, how many weekends they have reserved in P-Town (but not Rehoboth, for God's sake) and who's going to hook up with whom. I could count the number of people among the 50 who had untrimmed chests like mine on one hand. After about 20 minutes of hearing about who had the biggest cock, I was content to de-link from this raft or that and try another channel in the river with a different gathering of tubes.

    I'd hung out with this crowd before when I lived closer to Shaw, and felt the same discomfort, rarely having much to contribute during cocktail conversations. The 'type' of people I feel comfortable hanging out with hasn't changed much since high school, only the mutual age of those I'm with has changed. The tubing trip made me think a lot about who I did enjoy hanging out with much of the time: introspective bloggers, the Alterna-Bear crowd at Blowoff, the well-traveled and educated, creative types, dedicated couples, sci-fi geeks, and people with passions outside of hooking up. I like to be with people who have met adversity some time in their lives or have spent some time skidding on the pavement of life and are unashamed and unafraid to talk about it. People for whom propriety is not a priority, who don't put up a facçade of affected normalcy, people for whom difference and being different is the norm rather than something to aspire to. People who are not hung up on their perception of masculinity. People who see it and call it like it is. The freaks and the geeks are my peeps I guess.

    The barbeque following the river trip wasn't that different in character, as the majority of the crowd was buzzing amongst each other, sizing each other up, playing a game I was never good at and largely avoid. I overheard someone say something to the effect of, "Don't hate the player, hate the game," but I wasn't sure I agreed. Eventually the sun, heat and posturing drove me to the shade of a tree, where I sat with a cluster of other PWBF (People With Body Fat/Boy Friends). I'm not saying I'm asexual, but if two people want to get together, I'm not one for ceremony or courtship displays. Those are for the birds that I watch through my binoculars.

    The sun, beer and social interaction had me in bed by 10pm, and I slept for 10 hours after that, well caught up by today for an unlikely gathering of people with whom I had more in common with. We were together at Annie's to coordinate the funeral arrangements for our mutual friend, yet I somehow felt more at ease with this group than with the previous day's gathering, despite the sad circumstance. I guess it's all about mutual interests, whatever they may be.

    Posted by jimbo at 4:41 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

    July 7, 2006

    I'm talkin' 'bout resolution

    OK guys, I can't take it any more. It's time for another etiquette lesson, this time on the rules of online cruising, either by e-mail or on cruisey hook-up sites:

  • flash.jpgNice digital cameras don't cost all that much these days, and the resolution quality of web cam and camera phones is still sub-par. I want to see follicles and pores! 300 pixels per inch! Go out and buy a nice new camera, or borrow your friend's camera. Even better, have your trusted friend take your photo as to avoid the ever-tragic bathroom mirror flash effect.
  • Show your face, pussy. The conservatives and Republicans haven't been that frightening for you, have they? What are you hiding from? I'm especially vexed by faceless pics from the heart of gay ghettos like San Fran and NYC. Plus, I like face pics more than pictures of cocks and puckering buttholes, which all sort of look the same to me. If I don't see your face, I'm going to assume you're a closet case or horribly deformed.
  • Pictures of you from far away don't show me much either.
  • Unless you are an experienced graphic artist, photomanipulations of your face or other body parts will be detected. Don't try it.
  • I am not interested in landscape pictures, or of your experimental photography. I am on these sites for one purpose only.
  • Kuato.jpgPictures of select body parts, with no picture showing your whole body, will only lead me to assume you have a conjoined symbiotic mutant partner named Kuato attached to your abdomen.
  • Smile in at least one of your pictures. Scowling does not make you "masc", it just makes you look scary. Smiling makes you appear approachable, and usually better looking.
  • Usually if a guy says he's 'masculine' or that he's a 'Renaissance Man', he probably isn't.
  • If you send an e-mail to someone proposing to hook up, always attach a variety of images of yourself to that initial message. Do not send an e-mail without attached images and ask me to send you my pics. Do not say you're going to send pics if asked. You will get no response.
  • Check the file size of your attached images. Send cropped, optimized images in .jpg format. Do not send raw images straight off your digital camera. Do not send .gif or .bmp images.

  • (Exception: Humongous, high-resolution raw images may be e-mailed to me if said images are of your chest or face, especially if you're blond, red-head, scruffy and/or furry.)

  • In chat rooms please be polite, use complete sentences and proper grammar, even when asking to have your hole violated.
  • A compliment is not a proposition to marry. Don't flee in terror when someone says something nice to you. A good response when showered with compliments via e-mail or in a chat room is to say "Thank you."
  • And always have a trusted friend review the pictures you've uploaded. They're looking out for you and your image online.
  • Posted by jimbo at 10:20 AM | Comments (15) | TrackBack

    June 23, 2006

    we will miss you

    Last night I got notice that a longtime friend of mine had died this week. Earlier in the week a mutual friend informed me the friend's voice mail box was full, and that they were going to check things out. He was found to have died in his sleep.

    I'm doing OK now, but I'm expecting to freak out in about 48 hours or so, my usual freak out countdown in such situations.

    He was one of the first people I met when I first moved to DC, and remained a good friend all that time. When he was in a good condition he was always fun, open, honest and had the best advice when I was in the worst shape. We had been through a lot together, and he helped me grow a lot in my time here in DC, both as a person and with good professional advice as well. I looked up to him and still want to do what he did professionally.

    We will miss you.

    Posted by jimbo at 1:40 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

    June 16, 2006

    grumpy, sneezy, happy

    Although I am wearing my favorite Disney 'Grumpy' shirt today, I am no longer grumpy or needy this week, thank you. As I explained to my buddy last night, grumpy rants on this blog most often follow a really awesome, and late, night with City of Heroes. Lack of sleep = grumpiness and low self esteem. I'm fairly caught up on sleep now, an I plan on sleeping in Saturday and Sunday my sake and yours.

    Although I should be wearing my 'Sneezy' shirt as last night my sniffles turned into full-on congestion when I got home. Nothing Ny- and Day-Quil can't handle, I'm just a little under the weather is all.

    I am especially Happy today since I finally sent the infernal accursed frikkin'-frakkin' hateful nasty overly large evil soul-sucking newsletter/annual report to the printer yesterday. 28 pages, the largest I've done to date. That was the deadline thing that was giving me nightmares. Last night I slept peacefully. I had been working on and worrying about that thing for months.

    It might have been the beer though. Last night I went out to an accoustic show at Staccato last night. I had never been there before, and the show was pretty good. It was also full of a bunch of handsome men, including Mr. Bartender and his awesome beard. My social life blossoms.

    Chrisafer finds out that a man with the same name as him was stabbed in NYC recently. There was some D-List actor with my name who drowned a while back. There are 4 people in DC with my name, even same middle name in 2 cases. 1 is British. I know this because I crank called him to find out who he was. Another guy in DC with my same name is super-hot. I always have to be careful at the pharmacy, because a few of these other Jimbos get their prescriptions there too. I have sometimes been given the wrong crack. Here is a corner somewhere in the U.K. with my name on it:
    I'm street like that, yo.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:40 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

    June 13, 2006

    various and sundry rants and woofy pictures

    An assortment of rants, judgements, thoughts and woofy pictures today. Clearly I am feeling needy and a bit cranky today:

    If you are a friend, former lovah, or strong acquaintance of mine and "keep up" with me by reading my blog, it is still no subsitute for a personal e-mail or phone call, which I really do appreciate from time to time. It makes me feel special when you give an unwarranted call or e-mail me directly, with a "Hey Jimbo" in the salutation line. Think about it: via my blog you are looking at me in a room through a one-way mirror. I don't know you're there.

    If you once promised to meet up with me and did not show up with no explanation, and then don't follow up with with an e-mail or call as to why, resentment will build. As it stands, you're on shaky ground already, buster.

    James Denton is totally hotThis is James Denton, from that one really popular show that I don't watch. And please don't tell me I need to watch it, thanks. But I will watch him. Nice beard, fly haircut too. Thanks to Otterdoc for the scruffy submission.

    Props to all the nice normal well-adjusted humans who have approached me in various social settings and in the gym to say, "Hello, I just wanted to say I read your blog..." I appreciate it, and no I don't think you're wierd. Scowls and frowns to those of you who read my blog but just look at me strangely in bars.

    The weather this spring continues to be incredible, uncharacteristically cool and dry so far. My best spring yet in DC, hands down. No swamp ass whatsoever!

    Homer is coming to visit in late July. Yaaay!

    On Bigmuscle.com and Bigmusclebears.com, why do hot guys from Los Angeles, New Orleans and Atlanta give me an 'I Like' but hot guys from Washington, D.C., San Francisco and Seattle do not? What is the relation between city demographic, general friendliness and attraction to Jimbo?

    OMG DJ Timothy Mykael is spinning this Friday at Cobalt. I will be going. He sent me a secret bonus track that he might play, a remix of Heather Small's "Proud," the Pride '06 version. Two and a half rotations of it (7:11) fueled a wonderful run over the Rock Creek bridges into Adam's Morgan last night through the wonderful dry, cool air. There are awfully handsome men at my gym these days. For some reason DC got prettier over the summer.

    So if a person cannot get laid at a big giant gay rugby tournament, a big bear dance party, various Blowoffs, at gay pride, nor at a farm full of gay men, does that mean his Aura of Desperation has now become visible in broad daylight? Is there a large tumor or ectoparasite sticking out of the side of my face? Do I spit when I talk? Do I have bad breath or something? Are my horns showing? Do people have a problem with my moles? I don't know what the fuck is up lately, but it's been quite a dry spell. Today after lunch, Chrisafer's partner captured this palpable Aura of Desperation on film. Gurl came up for lunch gossip and gabbing too:
    gurl, jimbo, bubble tea
    This is, I think, Ben Roethlisberger and his hot football coach Mr. Cowher. Imagine the two together. Ben has most recently been shaggy, but I don't mind the ornery buzzcut look either. Ben got in a motorcycle accident recently. He was not wearing a helmet.
    Ben, Coach Cowher - woofy duo
    I've heard a lot less griping this year from gay people about how press and newspaper photos focus on the leather and drag queens at Pride. I think many people have realized that we are not being accepted as "normal," will never pass for Ward and June Cleaver, and people have realized that we are actually different from straight people, and that the point of Pride is to celebrate this difference. Think of it more as 'Freak Pride', because if we can't celebrate the freaky people, then there's no room for gays in the freak room either.

    And I also noticed that we celebrate this difference with much more fun and fabulousness than The Others ever could. We really are good at whimsy, fun and being fabulous. Grumpy 'normal' gays need to realize that and appreciate it.

    But my personal tolerance for difference stops at popped collars on polo shirts. Please, someone make it stop. And men with Capri pants. And those stained straw cowboy hats that were so over in 2002. And trucker caps. And overalls with no shirt or underwear underneath. And jelly bracelets. And anything that reminds me what I wore in the early 80s the first time around.

    Photo snatched from the Post a few weeks ago, of some cops from Fairfax. Someone said I look like the cop on the right:
    Yes, it has been about complacency, I think. We became complacent during the Clinton years, and now we are starting to realize people still hate us for being different, and that they do not understand us at all. That is why we enjoyed Pride so much this year, and better appreciate the drag queens and leather queens. I guess we can thank W for revealing what we were ignoring in the past. It is easier to think everything is fine, but it isn't, and better the devil you know than the devil you don't.

    Regardless, I still need to get laid some time soon.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:54 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

    June 11, 2006

    pulled pork and pooped pooches with pride

    For all my vegetarian readers out there:
    mmmm....pulled pork
    I had a great weekend out at a friend's farm celebrating his birthday. There was lots of drinking, eating, gay people, and their dogs:
    the loch ness petunia
    When we weren't out at the stream drinking and making the dogs swim, many of us held secret meetings to plot the end of American family culture. It was a lot of hard work for some of us:
    festus had a long weekend
    Down by the water I spotted a Louisiana waterthrush (my first!), and the whip-poor-wills were singing under a full moon in the early evening.

    I returned early enough to join more drunk gurls coming back from the festival, which I heard was heavily sponsored by corporations and various candiates for office.

    Posted by jimbo at 9:28 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

    June 7, 2006

    morbidly obese with pride

    It is the 2006 Capital Pride Parade and Festival this weekend, but I will be away to the friend's farm in West Virginia instead, as it's his 40th birthday and they're having a celebration in the valley. It should be fun, but peripheral, non-family guests will be relegated to tents. I don't know where I'll put mine...close to the farmhouse, creek or pasture? It depends on which noise source I want to be woken up with: a slamming screen door, cows or water?

    The Mesmers logoAnyhow, Fitz is terribly excited as his band, The Mesmers, are the opening act for the festival main stage performances. Go check 'em out.

    And of course there will be a Blowoff that I'm gonna have to miss, but oh well.

    Well, we all survived 6/6/06. And ya know, technically all the non-six digits in '2006' kinda mess up the whole sixisms theory anyway. It wasn't purely a bunch of sixes and Satan totally hates the 2s and 0s. I don't think I'm going to see The Omen either. It wasn't that scary the first time, and I'm just not interested in seeing some Hollywood hack's depiction of my childhood.

    I'm 7 of 9, Biotch!How can this President keep me so enraged every day of the week? On Monday President Fuckhead does some official gay-bashing from the White House garden, on Tuesday his minions waste time voting on banning gay marriage while far larger problems exist in this country and world, and on Wednesday he wastes more time telling America we must all 'assimilate'. To what? We all have to act white and uptight? Fuck that shit. I'm going home tonight and cookin' up some lutefisk, sanbakkles and oyster stew and watch reruns of some Swedish Chef sketches while I snack on pickled herring so I can get my Scandinavian-American on.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:18 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

    June 5, 2006

    I am so scene

    Despite senseless deaths in Iraq, our idiot President protecting us from the horrors of gay marriage, and other various and sundry portents of doom, we are lucky to have pictures of England rugby's Ben Cohen in underwear on the Internets to help us forget such things:
    beautiful treasure trail
    Ben has the most adorable little kid smile complimented by a lush growth of chest fur, accentuated with a distinct and imminently lickable treasure trail. Shoulders like breakfast-sized bran muffins too.

    I went to see Kathy Griffin last night at the Warner Theatre with a bunch of catty queens, and it was a lot of fun. Her routine was LONG, and we certainly got our money's worth from the show. I laughed a lot. I hope she kicks Ryan Seacrest's ass some day (again).

    Before that I was a big giant queen and had two big girly cosmos at Halo. We were discussing that apparently some people loathe Halo for some reason. I go there because it's smoke free, and there are usually fewer overly-drunk twinks there who can't handle their booze, because the booze there ain't cheap, so it keeps the cheapos out of the place. Apparently some people avoid going there for fear of being perceived as in "the scene" too much, whatever that means. I am so scene. Fear this queen.

    I remember shaking things up there this winter when I had a birthday gathering. Most of the guys who showed up to meet me were either on the rugby team or had facial hair. This was disturbing to the usual crowd at Halo, as one of whom approached us and said sibilantly, "Exssscussse me? Isss thisss Bear night or sssomething?" I love it.

    I am going to see X-Men tonight. I hear that it isn't all that consisent with the comics, but these days not even the comics are consistent with the comics. There must be like a dozen X-titles out on the shelves these days. Do not be in shock that I haven't seen the film yet - I don't go opening weekends, or any weekends, for that matter as I don't like huge theatre crowds. Anyone using a cell phone in the theatre, as they usually do in DC, enrages me and it totally ruins the experience for me. On weeknights there are usually fewer opportunities for me to be enraged by movie theatre cell phone use.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:57 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

    June 3, 2006

    post-apocalyptic workout

    So there's still terrorist cells in Canada and probably in the U.S. which we are unprepared for, there's been homeland security cuts for DC and NYC (but not for Bismarck, ND), Osama is still on the run and we never figured out who dropped anthrax in the postal system, we are still not quick enough in helping victims in the U.S. with natural disaster aid, Iraq is a mess, we are in debt, energy prices are high, salaries are low (but not for CEOs) and so is our quality of education, and we are the fattest country in the world.

    So what does the President plan on doing on Monday? Talk about preventing gays from marrying and adopting children right there in the White House Rose Garden. What a noble priority for the sake of our families.

    Really, if you still support the President and his cult-party of religious maniacs you are stupid.

    Anyway, I had a nice Jimbo catch-up day today. I slept in until Noon, catching up on my sleep deficit from last weekend, and caught up on some phone calls. Had a great workout at the gym despite the creepy dude who kept going out of his way to do useless ab workouts in front of me so he could keep pointing his ass at me, and I even ran for 25 minutes. I imagined I was running away from the creepy dude while I was on the treadmill, which made for a good run. Then I got some more plants for the front and back yards, including some nice Russian sage plants which will do well in the post-apocalyptic soil and sun exposure up front, and some pretty pink-leaved and shade-tolerant plants out back.

    And I am completely enchanted with the dancer in the video of the Linus Loves cover of Stevie Nick's 'Stand Back' (Vocal Club Edit). Slightly adorkable, handsome, and he gots MOVES! The music is great too.
    I love you hot dancing man
    Regardless of body hair coverage, exceptional male dancers with a masculine way of moving turns my crank like nothing else. There was a rugger from the Philly team who moved like that last weekend, but I was too bug-eyed to say hi.

    Posted by jimbo at 8:46 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

    June 1, 2006

    "a slippery slope," or the future?

    There were a number of discussions, situations and comments that came up last weekend at the big "gay" rugby tournament regarding assimilation, segregation, inclusion and intergration of gays and straights. Let me put them into points, then figure out what I want to say about it, or what you want to say:

  • At the opening ceremony of the tournament, it was mentioned by one of the speakers that unlike many gay sports organizations, the gay rugby association (IGRAB) makes no quota or requirements as to how many people on a team must be gay or straight.
  • On Saturday night I met a few guys from the DC flag football team visiting NYC that weekend, and the quota issue came up. They said that in their sport there was an unwritten rule of 2-3 allowed straight guys on their teams, and one guy said he thought our 50/50 straight/gay demographic was "a slippery slope."
  • At one point in the tournament I did a little survey of the gay/straight demographics on our A- and B-sides. During our A-side (Cup) match against Manchester, 3 of the 15 players were gay, the rest were straight. Meanwhile on another pitch our B-side (Plate) had 2 (purported) straight guys playing while the other 13 were gay.
  • Thoughout the entire tournament, our straight players were just fine with all the gay stuff, made lube jokes, came to the gay bars and politely declined any advances or overt interest in them.
  • I was chatting with a girlfriend of one of the straight players, who said that she percieved that in social settings with our team, the straight guys tended to hang out with other straight guys, and the gays with the gays. I attribute this to my Cheerios In Milk theory - similar people simply stick together. However, our big straight tank was always hanging out with the gays much of the weekend. I don't see that much segregation myself.
  • The first guy I hit on Sunday night at the XXL party was straight, but diplomatically unwilling to consumate the evening with me. I was cool with that, so was he.
  • Yeah, it was a downer that he was unavailable to me, but I thought it was cool that such a situation could occur with little more discomfort than being shot down by a gay man.

    Josh declares The Death of The Ghetto, while West Hollywood is experiencing a demographic change much like DuPont Circle and 17th Street already have. The two issues are apples and oranges. Neighborhood demographic change is unrelated to issues of gay ghetto segregation and integration, and 'hoods will always shift and change, like a riverbed, as Miss In Shaw documents.

    Related Link from The Onion:

    Series Finale of Will and Grace Ends Eight-Year Truce Between Gay, Straight Communities

    As for us being a "gay team," (or not) at first I was resistant to the idea of us increasing our recruitment of straight guys while maintaining our gay recruitment. As it was, there were only so many gay rugby players you can find in one city, and we were getting tired of losing so much. But since then we've become more competitive, and our practices often have enough players where we can play full-team scrimmages of 15-players each. We've won more matches since we've recruited more people, which helps in skill-building at practice since we have full teams to play against several times a week. Frankly, we're a better team with more people, and I think both the straights and the gays on our team are better people, having taken home some perspective from the other side.

    I have been surprised by the reactions coming from some of the gay boys I've talked to about the above points. Sure, it's kind of special to be able to front a wholly gay team. But we also have to be competitive. Plus I think ghettoization is bad for you, and gays that live in huge metropolitan areas often suffer a retardation of personal growth and extreme lack of perspective as to how the other 95% of the world works. This was evident in that at times the tournament almost seemed to be a peripheral event for the XXL circuit-bear party, not the other way around. It gives credence to my theory that all things touched by The Gay must ultimately become a circuit party. Anyway, when the music was turned down low enough to be able to talk to the other players at the social events, most said they simply wanted to play rugby, have something substantial to eat, and to not have to shout when they wanted to talk about the day's gladiator events. The thrumming dance music often deafened the spirit of the intended event.

    Anyway, as threatening as it seems, I believe the incursion of straights into our team and into gay sports is the future, and a good thing. They go home more comfortable with us, and tell their friends and family about playing with the gays. Otherwise ghettoized gay men with limited contact with straight people are more comfortable and better able to interact with straights after the experience. Integration and mutual acceptance is a hard and slow process, but healthier for everyone involved in the long run.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:58 AM | Comments (18) | TrackBack

    May 29, 2006

    Memorial Day weekend

    Hope your Memorial Day weekend was as good as mine:
    red is the new back
    I had no idea I was so red when I was walking around the View Bar on Saturday night. Joe told me the bar was usually reserved for off-duty porn stars and hookers, and we believe we saw one there, waiting around with his duty bag. I correctly predicted he wasn't going to get much business there that night due to the high availability of other less costly men, and I was right. The hooker left, out-marketed by the availability of sweaty hookers of a different kind.

    The 2006 Bingham Cup was a lot of fun, and marked the arrival of hot summer temperatures. NY1 News managed to catch the only game I played in on film, video link included with the story - I think I'm number 14 in the fuzzy video. I was in an odd position as a sub on our A (Cup) side as it would have taken a mortal wound to take out anyone I could replace. But they toughed it through six dusty, hot matches regardless, and we came out 3rd in the Cup division, and the same with our Plate division. The Aussie Convicts won first in both, and the Boston Ironsides first in the Bowl division. I'll have to say that the most exciting match was us versus Manchester, with two nail-biting 'sudden death' match extensions due to a 3-3 tie, ultimately won by a penalty kick from our side. The most surprising ending was during our match against Gotham with a last-second 3-point drop kick from some 40 yards away by our miraculous Leprechaun scrumhalf, which secured a win. Joe and Eddie showed up for the nail-biting match, and I tried my best to explain what was going on and why people were spazzing out. I don't think they got it but they cheered for the hottie #13s on any side. The hottest teams of the tournament were certainly the Sydney Convicts and the brand new and totally muscular team from Cardiff. All blond and red-headed and cute as a button.

    Later Saturday evening Glenn showed up at a social and I also got to meet Vasco, with whom I chatted for a while before the sunburn took me down. Glenn also came to watch a few matches on Sunday, and introduced me to Gayest Neil (partner of Plasicaisle) who played with the Gotham team. After the tournament matches were done I made an attempt at a disco nap so was up and ready for the closing party and XXL dance, where Joe and his dreamy friend Ken from Jersey arrived. Also in attendance were CSCFON and OMG Michael Hartney, who was unnerved by my girly screams due to his presence. I was able to out-geek the comic book fan with my vast knowledge of X-Men trivia. While I hear I need to suspend my historical knowledge of the Uncanny ones for X3, Michael was happy to learn that Juggernaut is Charles Xavier's brother, and that the Beast wasn't always so furry.

    And speaking of furry, the XXL party was over the top. However, in terms of meeting new friends, my evening began with hitting on one of the few straight guys on one team (who was polite, but uninterested), and went downhill from there. Oh well, I got a lot of rest over the weekend anyway. But this Aussie got me riled up every time I saw him over the course of the weekend:
    he had scruff but shaved it by Sunday...

    Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!
    Oi! Oi! Oi!
    Dreamy! Dreamy! Dreamy!
    Woof! Woof! Woof!

    Many more pictures from the tournament at the break, thanks to Blogstar Brettie for any pictures of me...

    Psyching up for Saturday morning's matches, iPod mini product placement:

    Me and Twan:

    I think I had the ball in this photo, in a match against the Seattle Quake.

    After the nail-biting double-sudden-death match against Manchester, I'm wondering if I had a heart attack just from watching. Manchester in the background to my left, the Renegades to my right:

    My hat keeps me cool:

    A particularly woofy ref:

    My favorite Aussie, center, with red chest fur:

    Aussies accepting their Cup win at the award ceremony:

    Yet another scruffy Aussie:

    Aussie accepting Plate win with Mark Bingham's mom, Alice Hoglan:

    I'm trying to reprezent Tha DC but I can't get my fingers to twist correctly like Lora's:

    Posted by jimbo at 7:35 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

    May 24, 2006

    the sun dog days of spring

    It has been a remarkably mild spring here in DC, an actual spring, probably the best one in my 10 years of living here. Usually the weather in this area goes from damp and cold straight to hot and muggy, but we've had almost a month of lovely dry, cool, and sunny weather. While the pollen earlier this spring kicked Bob's ass and many others, I experienced only a bit of extra phlegm in my throat, making for a husky singing voice during April. None of the usual sinus or lung infections I usually get from spring mold either. Maybe the long-term Allegra usage is finally kicking in, or the dry weather may have helped out too. And I've been significantly more robust and healthy since I got my tonsils removed in 2003. Like 185# robust and PALE, as seen in this unflattering MW photo of me and TJ at Blowoff last weekend, looking a lot like Sméagol and Déagol. Anyhow, it's been a good season this year, if not a bit nippy in the evenings. Last night at practice I spotted a sun dog on the horizon, an indicator of ice crystal formation in the upper atmosphere, so I guess the jet stream is still quite cold.

    We leave Thursday for the big giant super-gay rugby tournament in NYC, coming back on Monday. I've been selected for the Cup or 'A' side team for the weekend, which was a surprise as I hadn't played much on our A-side all season. I'm told it was due to my flexibility with playing in several positions and the tournament rosters are locked. It will be challenging as we'll be up against the San Francisco Fog, London, and Seattle Quake teams on Friday, none of whom are pushovers. The tournament rounds continue through Sunday, starting at 9:30am each day. Match schedule is on the above link.

    The Renegades are hosting a social Saturday evening at 8pm at The View Bar, 232 8th Ave., NYC. And I think I'll probably be going to the big, giant, super-gay Bear circuit party, XXL, on Sunday night in lieu of Allegria. I've been on enough Allegra this year already and can't take any more of it. I hope to meet up with Super-Dreamy Dawg, Joe, Glenn and especially Eric at the XXL party since Eric is now turning into a Bear.

    Posted by jimbo at 8:27 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

    May 21, 2006

    Britney is the new hiring specialist at JimboCorp

    From Le Gossip: pictures of Britney's new male nanny ('manny') who appears to be a hot red-head Jew. And from Pink Is The New Blog, Britney's new woofy bodyguard (scroll down a bit), replete with 70's porn star 'stache.

    Britney, if you choose not to return to pop stardom, you have a place as a hiring specialist in HR at JimboCorp. I like what you do.

    Friday: passed out when I got home from working late.
    Saturday: worked a few hours, then got ready for the Fair Wisconsin thing. Upon entering Halo the first thing I noticed was that all the Cheeseheads in attendance looked genetically identical. Height ranging only from 5'4" to 5'10", hair light to dark blond, all blue eyed. There really is a Wisconsin 'type' for sure.

    Some friends met up with me there and we were all surprised to end up at JRs for a few more cocktails, but by 11 the smoke and crowd started to build up there, so I had to leave. But not before I gave a very hot 39-year old Joe my card, and I hopes he calls it or drops me an e-mail. I know, I know, I should have scored the card myself, but I'm not always so aggressive as I depict myself. Lot's of bark and some "woof"s, but not always the biter.

    I wondered if his two friends read my blog, because at one point in the conversation he clearly stated, "I am single." Either they told him to make that point clear as per my directions, or he's wiser than me in making sure all is clear. I told him that was great, that I was too, and God bless him for saying that.

    Sunday: we trekked up to Baltimore to play in TazWolf's awesome D&D chamber. See, up there they have homes where you can actually think of having your own gaming room. Dax tried to keep their licking, sandal-eating beast Ai'Chaiya at bay, to no avail.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:02 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

    May 16, 2006

    non-native species

    Just when I thought our President couldn't get any stupider, more wasteful, or, well, frikkin' stupid, he goes and sends an already harried National Guard to "protect" our border with Mexico. Why not fortify the existing border patrol instead? It is clearly some kind of bizarre symbolic gesture meant to appease somebody, but I don't know who.

    I've been to both the north and the south borders of this country in wilderness areas on foot. To the north there is no fence at all, with hundreds of miles of beautiful northwoods lakes and bogs protecting us from the encroaching Canadian wave of illegal immigrants. To the south there are also stretches of our border with nothing but a barbed-wire fence that couldn't stop a deer, much less a primate. I took a photo of the borderline this spring. There was no one there. I'm sure it was being monitored by telemetry or something, but really, our north and south borders are quite porous. We cannot possibly guard every inch of it, and to try to do so would cost billions. What Bush is doing now is purely symbolic, because he knows very well that every inch of our borderline cannot be effectively guarded. Sending National Guard troops to the border of Mexico is stupidly symbolic and wasteful.

    I remember fishing with my brothers in my youth and was encouraged to kill any suckers or chubs (two types of stream fish) I caught because they were considered 'invasive species'. This actually meant "not-trout". Later in my life when I took a college-level ichthyology class, I learned that creek chubs and suckers are the native species, and most species of trout are populations supported by artificial fishery efforts - i.e. non-native species.

    Opie has become kind of hot...I'm not sure what kind of point I'm making here with the fish analogy, other than the fact that a lot of xenophobia is either relative or completely made up. I guess I don't percieve borders as physical things.

    Anyway, George W. Bush is a complete fucking idiot.

    On a completely unrelated note, Ron Howard grew a beard and is totally hot. Thanks Corey for the picture of a hot bearded Opie. The picture below is of hockey hottie Cam Ward, formerly of the Carolina Hurricanes. I post the picture simply because he too is woofy.

    Cam Ward, Hurricanes goalieShould it disturb me that I have seemingly developed a network of facial- and body-hair informants who send me facial-hair pictures and news items at least once a week?

    Funny story: last night I was video-chatting on ICUII. While chatting with a hot guy I made an attempt to ask him out. His first response to my friendliness was, "I read your blog and know how you feel about partnered guys and wanted to let you know I have a boyfriend and we are monogamous."

    Praise Alanis, my readers can be TRAINED TO BE HONEST, UPFRONT AND TRUTHFUL!!! Social persuasion campaigns (propaganda on how I think things should be) do work! Even though it wouldn't end up in a hook-up, I would be honored to hang out and have a beer with such an open, honest and upfront guy.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:10 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

    May 12, 2006

    for all you Howard Dean worshippers out there....

    Governor Howard Dean is a low-down, spineless, two-timin', devil-tounged, misrepresentin' snake-in-the-grass; talkin' to the 700 Club out of one side of his mouth, then to The Gay over at Halo a few months back out of the other side. All you Dean-worshipping gays take a second look and reconsider your support for both Dean and the Democratic party.

    Yeah, this gives total credence to the gay Republican's "Democrats are no better" excuse, as double-talkin' is only slightly less reprehensible in my eyes than outright aggression towards The Gay. At least you know where the Republicans stand, but you never really know with the Democrats, if they are standing for anything at all.

    But if you're still a gay Republican this platform around (Now With New Anti-Gay Adoption Additives!) you're still pretty retarded. The fact is that Lincolnian Republicanism is long-dead, the party no longer recognizable as it once was - taken over by cultists and less-obvious industrialists. Yes, they don't care about black people, nor anyone else who is non-male, Christian, white, straight and rich. If you are not all of the above, forget it. Fiscal conservatism and staying out of your bidness is no longer part of their platform. They hate you and view you as a lower life form. Get over it and start being someone else's bitch/drone. Or is it the humiliation that you crave? Or is it a suit fetish? (My apologies to the Liberal suit fetishists out there).

    But that still leaves us with the problem of which party to choose from. A nice solution would be to have more parties to choose from, but the Greens don't have it together yet and of course that one crazy-ass glamour candidate who runs for office all the time would be impotent in actual office.

    Both the Log Cabin Republicans and the Human Rights Campaign both have one thing in common - they are both trying to work for progress within a system that they are not yet a part of nor are a functional component within. Both the LCR and HRC are premature organizations. Any statements that you are affecting the organization you seek membership from is pure fantasy.

    We aren't even past the awareness stage of activism with many people in this country. They don't understand The Gay and people can still lie about us and it will be believed. Both the Democrats and the Republicans use us as a tool, and piss on us whenever possible. Time for more awareness-building, knowledge-sharing, face-to-face interaction, openness, and generally getting out of the gay ghetto and out there on foot to tell your story.

    Posted by jimbo at 1:16 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

    May 9, 2006

    thou shalt not wear jeanshorts

    Battlestar Galactica characters as seen by a Matt Groening knockoff artist.

    MetroWeekly has kindly provided a pictoral directory of who not to date in DC.

    I suppose here in DC we have the swarms of gay Republicans to avoid and be annoyed by...but I pity those of you in NYC who must certainly be irritated by having to pass by any random David Blaine "stunt". They're both quite similar really - pointless, far too exposed, and a bit wrinkly.

    And from the DC Urban Family Blog: the Dupont Cirlce 10 Commandments.

    Posted by jimbo at 9:41 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

    May 2, 2006

    I don't even know where to start on this one...

    A friend forwarded me a link to this Yahoo group:


    Nothing wrong with club that's into physical male-to-male contact, but then I saw some odd phrases in the club's description, such as 'GoYS' (mouse over on the image to read the text) and my hackles started to rise.

    I could devote a day to ranting about the penetration-phobic, gender hung-up statements on that site, among other things. Then I found this page, where at the bottom are quantifiable steps in how to seduce straight guys. Creepy at best, predacious at worst.

    Let the gay boys with masculinity issues spend their time chasing straight guys, spinning their wheels. I'm a romantic type who believes in getting along in the long term, and deception of self or other just doesn't induce trust in the long term. Anyway, I leave today's entry mainly for discussion, as there's too much in the links above to even start a rant. My term paper is still due and is calling...

    Posted by jimbo at 10:36 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

    April 19, 2006

    Xanadu musical on track

    A first reading of the new musical Xanadu — based on the fabulous 1980 film of the same name — will be presented April 21 in Manhattan.

    According to my jaded theater queen sources in NYC, a reading lets the creative team hear how the words and music flow when spun from the mouths of actors. If there are any major problem areas, the writers can go and fix them before the show goes into a real rehearsal process.

    I don't like to pull contacts and favors much, or even grovel, but I will construct a huge earthen ziggurat for the queen who gets me into a sneak peek for the Xanadu rehearsals. PLEASE!!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!

    More adventures of the gay robot!

    Posted by jimbo at 11:25 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

    April 13, 2006

    kylie cannot be stopped by a mere cancer

    DIVA.GODDESS.PIXIEAttention everyone: Kylie Minogue is OK after her breast cancer diagnosis and surgery in May 2005, chemotherapy in December, and continued treatment. A mere cancer cannot stop the Aussie Pixie. Today's jimbo.info home page layout is dedicated to Kylie.

    Yes, I will be going to shake it HARD at Blowoff this Saturday. A.) It is spring and I'm riled up; B.) No rugby on Saturday which means I should have more energy to spare; C.) OMG like EVERYONE is gonna be there, including Dreamy Ron; D.) Mom is coming next week so it's last call for blowing off steam for a while; E.) Redheads with facial hair beware - Jimbo's comin' to get ya.

    "Breathe," Michelle Branch - Chris Cox Penetrating Club Mix
    "Flashdance (What a Feeling)," "Stars on 45," - Global Deejays
    "Mesmerized," - Faith Evans, various remixes

    Riding on the Metro 10am today, approaching the College Park station on the Green Line. My car, the last in the train, is completely empty because my ass is so late getting to work:
    like Berlin, but less glamourous

    Posted by jimbo at 10:53 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

    April 7, 2006

    OMG all the gay bars in DC are closing

    OMG OMG OMG no more Lizard Lounge, Secrets, Zigfields, Nation and whatever am I going to do on Saturday night?

    Play World of Warcraft, of course.

    Seriously though, neighborhoods change, establishments move about, and we'll soon have a new crop of tacky strip clubs and drag bars in an equally sketchy neighborhood anytime now. Worry not, just wait and see.

    I'll have to agree with Toby though, Mark "The Sky is Falling!" Lee's excuse for closing Lizard Lounge due to the smoking ban which isn't even fully in effect until January was pretty lame. I am as curious as Toby as to the real reason he's shutting down. In a rare exception to my anonymous comments rule, clandestine commentors are free to speak frankly on this issue today...

    I just don't go out that much anymore, but that may change once the smoking ban comes into effect. Aside from regular Blowoff attendance, I go to Halo the most due to the smoke-free environment. 'Woof' is too crowded and the music too loud; both the Eagle and Green Lantern's Shirtless Men Drink Free night are too hit and miss in regards to the crowd hotness; JR's and Remington's are over the top smoky - no way; on an odd night I may go to Omega or the Fireplace because the crowd there makes me feel good about myself; I haven't been to Atlas in years; and I only go to Cobalt when OMG DJ Timothy Mykael is spinning.

    After 10 years of living in The District, I have finally coerced my mother to come visit the very same weekend as the Cherry circuit party weekend. I know my mom is a huge fan of tribal and heavy house circuit music (specifically Alyson Calagna and Manny Lehman), but ever since the schism between mom and Nurse Cracker up in Dulth at the 1998 Ice Shanty Ball mom has been limiting her circuit attendance to Midwest venues like Fire Ball and the like. I don't know what would happen if mom and Nurse Cracker ever met again - I think there'd be a huge catfight. Plus she's not on the best terms with Doug Rule, music reviewer for Metro Weekly, ever since her scathing response in Circuit Noize to Doug's critique of the music at Alegria in 2004. But hell, maybe I'll go alone since mom ALWAYS gets all the attention on the dance floor when she shows up, surrounded by all the flaggers. Mom's flags are navy blue with the word 'FORWARD' embroidered on them in gold lamé, and she prefers to hang out with men in sailor and yeoman uniforms. When she's holding court, I'm always there in the shadows on the dance floor while she rips up a storm.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:36 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

    April 6, 2006

    super-gay thursday post

    Tyra falls. Will Western civilization fall with her?

    Even more rings found around Uranus. With all these new discoveries of the abundance of rings found around Uranus, it's hard to keep up.

    Not two, but SIX gay cowboys - ON ICE! Ever since my ex brainwashed me to watch competitive ice skating, I've got a soft (hard?) spot for graceful ice skaters - with cowboy hats is even better.

    OK, which one of you queens signed me up for an International Male catalog subscription? Really, have you ever seen me wearing anything in that overdone Los Angeles style of clothing? But when I opened it up I noticed that the extreme clothing styles notable from their 80s catalog run have become a little more subdued - or is it that I've become more used to such styles? My mind reels...

    Hot, smart bloggers: plasticaisle, meanwhile and bent collective.

    Much discussion on Queer Beacon regarding the purportedly homophobic Dodge commercial. I've seen it on TV, and don't think it's anti-gay, just anti-fey. Up until the last scene, the fairy was pretty much in-line with what fairies do - causing trouble, being whimsical and casting spells. I've played Dungeons and Dragons for over 20 years, so I'm highly qualified to comment on fairy behavior.

    As for the last scene, the tough guy was just calling the fairy out as a fairy until she turned him preppy. I don't know a whole lot of gay men who dress like he does post-transmutation. Plus you have to notice that he's wearing WHITE shorts after the enchantment is cast - and it's not even Memorial Day yet. Truly a most horrible curse to be transformed into a poorly-coordinated pre-80s preppy straight guy. The joke is on him, as gay men know it's a ill-timed choice of springwear.

    Posted by jimbo at 1:56 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

    April 2, 2006

    You are not a strong black woman.

    Advice for Recent Arrivals - Dos & Don'ts & More Don'ts for Gay Boy Refugees - by Nate Lippens

    I'll have to admit I have been guilty of several of the criticisms from the list above in my time. Good for a chuckle though.

    I'm currently digging the CD Jack Johnson and Friends: Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the film Curious George. Like the soundtrack for O Brother, Where art Thou, this album is likely to outshine the film. While the songs are both for children and adults, the tunes have a nice mellowing effect that negates all the hype and hysteria you can get from watching too much TV. Plus Jack Johnson is kinda woofy and somewhat adorkable. I spent a lot of time this weekend with just the stereo on with this album and another favorite (and Christmas/birthday present - thanks!), Lonely Runs Both Ways by Alison Krauss and Union Station.

    Posted by jimbo at 9:25 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

    March 31, 2006

    all shady partnered gay men should wear burquas

    new garb for reckless gay playahsI just had two recent interactions with flirty gay men who found it convenient to leave out the teensy fact that they're partnered, relishing in the attention they got from me. That shit pisses me off. You consider it harmless flirting, I consider it a dick-tease. In all past cases of interacting with guys like these, their concern is mainly for themselves and the rise they get from the attention, probably because they don't get it at home from their partner, or they are just needy sociopathic shitheads. Am I being honest enough about how I feel?

    My stance on this is not against the partnered. I'm all for making out with gay men who are open and honest about their relationships, or flirting endlessly with and constantly showering compliments on hot scruffy guys who are partnered. It is simply about honesty, and the above activities are harmless. Honesty is hot, but deception is not. If you are deceptive and leave out significant facts that most people find important, you are a shady motherfucker.

    I once approached a guy on the rugby team who was cute, and I wanted to chat/flirt with him. The first thing he bluntly blurted out (he too was from Wisconsin, so I could take it) was "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND," which at the time I thought was a bit awkward. But looking back I'm glad he filled me in early on, instead of sucking up the attention and a half hour of my time before giving up that important fact. He had the spine to be upfront and filled me in with the vital facts early on.

    For you see, single guys in their 30s don't like fucking around for long with playas like you. Get your attention elsewhere. Encourage your partner to say nice things to you. If I've got nothing else going on, I'd be glad to flirt with you - as long as I know what your status is.

    My solution to this problem is for partnered gay men to wear full-body burkas so us swingin' single men can know ahead of time who to focus our flirting with. Or perhaps big pink dots in the center of your foreheads. That would prevent a lot of frustration. As for your attention needs, look in the mirror every morning and say "I am HAWT!" but playahs, please don't waste my time.

    Whitney Houston's Crack Den. I rarely buy the Enquirer, but this week's issue looks like a must-read.

    Better than Whitney's Crack Den is Johnny's Brokeback Mountain Comix. No - the hype, advertisement and blabbering about that movie has not stopped.

    35% drop in HIV infections in badly-hit region of India. Decrease attributed to education, condom use. Good for India. I've been thinking lately that The Gay are overly due for another round of education and new prevention campaigns - and education funding. Nobody seems to be talking about it, nor seems to give a shit about infection or the trials, tribulations and side-effects of protease inhibitors, often seen as a miracle cure but are no cake walk to digest. And I don't buy the argument that we are tired of hearing about it or are burnt out on all the percieved negativity of the situation. All kinds of people live with all sorts of diseases every day and have ways to try to avoid them. Viruses don't stop, neither should the education and information. Here are some of my campaign ideas:

    No Meth, No Drama.
    HIV Meds: It Ain't Like Taking an Excedrin Tablet.
    If It Goes In a Hole, It's Gotta Have Latex.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:08 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

    March 19, 2006

    i love my new camera

    While most of the guys in this picture are not on our team, I liked the action I caputured with my new camera:
    a ruck, a scrum?  whatever.
    On the other hand, using the memory card supplied by the manufacturer only allowed me to take maybe 9 photos before I ran out of memory. But I hear tell the memory cards are cheap and I can get a better one fast, cheap and easy.

    After a frustrating 0-0 tie against the A-side, our opponents graciously volunteered to play against the B-side. That game wasn't quite as frustrating for them, but many players who had never played before got some good experience. The sky was incredibly bright for the area, with a few puffs of clouds you might see on a Japanese room screen. It was windy all day and my lips are parched.

    Blowoff was great, and I think the nasty windy weather kept a lot of people away, which was fine for me as it was not crowded at all. I spotted visiting bloggers Waremouse John and Bayou John in addition to the usual crowd. I hadn't expected to see Waremouse so when I saw him I jumped up and down and squealed and said, "OHMIGAWD! WAREMOUSE!!! EEEEE!" And he joined me in the squealing, tittering and jumping. At the sound of our screeching, several "masc," "straight-acting," and "laid-back" guys within earshot ran away immediately.

    My City of Heroes account died on Saturday - I thought payments were automatically deducted, but I guess not. Siezures have not begun yet but will soon, as I can't figure out the frikkin' unfriendly interface for upgrading my account, and am gonna have to call them by phone and speak with a human tomorrow.

    But that allowed me time to clear off the infernal volcano rocks put down out back at least in one small area so I can plant nicer things than the nasty crown-of-thorns plant that is out there (they are pernicious and spread everywhere). After removing a network of hard tree roots coming from a nearby ghetto tree* by chopping at them with the shovel, I was able to dig a small pit to drop my 'pond' into - a fiberglass half-barrel where my pond lillies, irises and guppies grow, and conditioned the rest of the clay-heavy soil with top- and potting-soil. It'll be ready for when our weather stops being so schitzo.

    *ghetto tree - any unattractive, pernicious, local species which thrives in the city and can be found in many rental property gardens or even growing out the side of the house. Crown-of-thorns, hawthorne, rotten elm and boxelder trees to name a few. The mulberry tree out front drops sticky-sweet jelly berries onto our sidewalk every summer, creating sticky goo to track into the house and attracts ants, rats and noisy birds that come to gather it at night and in the early morning.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:31 PM | Comments (11)

    March 8, 2006

    OMG DJ Timothy Mykael is spinning at Cobalt this Friday

    My rugby teammate, D&D buddy and fabulous DJ friend Timothy Mykael will be spinning at Cobalt starting at 10pm this Friday March 10. Since it's also Battlestar Galactica/Stargate night, and the season finales at that, I may not get there until Midnight, but I am defnitely going. I like Tim's flavor of music, generally poppish with actual vocals and lots of tracks in positive major key. He has spun tunes at Apex "College Night" 2000-2005, Tracks, Cherry 4, Blue Ball 2001 & Ocean Blue preview party in Rehoboth beach, Capital Pride 2000 & 2001, Rehoboth Beach @ Blue Moon. Highly recommended.

    Not that Tim's tunes are boring, but should I lose interest in dancing I will pass my time spilling drinks on twinks, making Jennifers cry, and dropping Flintstones vitamins in people's drinks when they're watching, should you care to join me.

    Hot Ginger Kid / Daywalker of the Day: country artist Jace Everett. Nice voice, nice lips, nice ginger kid hair.

    I did get my bike fixed last weekend after my spectacular flight. The good-looking bike repair staff at City Bikes performed miracles, and I didn't even need to replace my front tire. The cute hunky repairman even went out of his way to tell me my "...nipples are showing some wear." That was exciting.

    I went to see Ultraviolet last night with not one but TWO handsome, clever and good-humored men. It was standard action chick fare with spectacular off-the-hook fight scenes, but unless you are a huge Milla Jovovich fan I'd wait until it comes out on DVD. Some of the lines were very hokey and the plot was standard action sci-fi fare ("Oh, we have to find the retrovirus cure in 8 hours!!!").

    Before the movie I went to work out for the first time at the Georgetown Washington Sports Clubs. The vile experience began with seeing a stressed-out DC lawyer-type tip-tapping on his laptop in the locker room, followed by having to endure the excessive cell phone use of other people on the weight room floor ("DID YOU REMEMBER TO CLOSE THE GARAGE DOOR?!?"). It was probably the most self-absorbed, self-important, arrogant and typically nauseating DC crowd I'd ever seen in a club. Pretty, yes, but very, very self-important people. I wish I had just eaten broccoli and cookie dough, downed with some Cherry Coke so I could have dropped a fart by Mr. Laptop and Mr. Cell Phone to show them what I thought of them, but I was fairly regular at that time, thank you. The actual facilities and equipment were nice, it was the crowd that ruined the place.

    Officially Over: "jauntily askew/askance trucker hats", overuse of the word 'brilliant!' (especially in Manhattan), and toy dogs as accessories. Jimbo predicts chimps will again be the next hottest animal accessory. Lower orders of primates are a classic sidekick that rarely go out of style. However, Marmosets, flying lemur, and mandrill are forever a fashion no-no.

    Lesbian homecoming 'King' named at university. Well, this is great news and all but it happened at the University of Wisconsin - Stevens Point in 1993 when I was going to school there. Perhaps that wasn't as big of a deal due to a higher level of tolerance back then, but a gay man (Trevor, as I recall) and bulldyke lesbian (her name was Nancy?) were homecoming king and queen in a Central Wisconsin public university, but in typical Wisconsin style no one made a big deal about it. I was president of the campus g/l/b/t/whatever group for a year - it still exists today.

    I'm sad to hear that there is a state constitutional amendment initiative to 'define' marriage going on back home. We all know what that really means, a red herring to gather more votes and to marginalize gay people. But I'm glad to see that an organization is appealing to Americans' good sense of fairness, which usually wins out against intolerance in the end.

    Bear activists to sue:

    "What do we want?
    When do we want it?

    Posted by jimbo at 10:08 AM | Comments (2)

    March 6, 2006

    please, make it stop

    I didn't see Crash, don't know what it's about, but did see that one other film that everyone is talking about an awful lot. Like I said before, I thought that one film was a good film, but it didn't knock my socks off or devastate me to the core of my being as several have said. I have taken some flack for not following the chorus in an unquestioning adoration for the film.

    There were many good movies in contention for the Best Film award this year. Did you know there were good films out there that are not gay-related? It cannot be assumed that America or the Academy is homophobic just because the collective expectations of a very exciteable gay community were not met. I'm sorry so many of us were wagering all our hopes and dreams on the recognition of this film and the total sweep of this year's Academy Awards show. But maybe, just maybe, that one film wasn't the best film of 2005. Let's step back a bit, take a deep breath, and get some perspective. Besides, recognition of three awards ain't bad...best director, adapted screenplay and original score is hardly qualifies as a 'snub' or a 'bust'.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:18 AM | Comments (11)

    January 22, 2006

    Jimbo to Jeff Gannon: Please Go Do Drag

    Casually sifting through the Opinion section of this week's Washington Blade looking for shirtless pictures of the publication's editor, I see another flathering frothy opinion piece by Jeff/James/Guckert/Gannon/Whatever featuring scintillating insights on gay culture like this:

    In the gay ghettos of most major cities, revelers could grind the night away in a sea of shirtless, drugged-out narcissists presided over by an overabundance of drag queens and a smattering of porn stars who look like Tarzan but act like Jane.

    Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey. I shake my head ruefully in your direction. Where do I start with this statement and the cascade of even more presumptuous comments you make about "gay culture"? And how the hell can this crap you write get put in print? There are so many things wrong with the statements you wrote in that column it is clear that you have more issues than National Geographic. And no, I don't think you are "self loathing," as it's clear you really love yourself a lot. I guess the best way to help your emotionally retarded self is to channel my inner Rose Nylund again and tell you a story about when I was a student at St. Olaf. So sit down and get yourself comfortable...

    I remember thinking like you once - when I was 20. I had just come out to family and friends and was still dealing with who I was and what I was going to do about it. While my memory rarely serves me, I do have a distinct recollection of standing in the downstairs bar of the Hotel Washington in Madison, Wisconsin, which has since burned down (I didn't do it). The bar in the basement was called 'Rods', and as I looked around at the cocktail and leather queens I almost projected my thoughts audibly:

    "I'm not like these people."

    Well, yes and no. Now that I'm 35 and old and crotchety, I don't think like that anymore. The "I'm not like these people" period is just one of the phases of coming out - a process which takes far longer than you think and has many more stages than just coming out to friends and family or to the general public as a prostitute. Some people, like you Jeff, get stuck at this phase. Like the dude in that one Star Trek movie who didn't come out of the transporter beam quite right, you're a mess right now.

    Of course you are not like other people, you are a unique individual, Jeffrey. But then again you have similarities with other people too, and we all want to be part of a community - it comforts us to have a posse. Some of us buy heavily into a concept of what being gay is, while others, like you, keep to the outskirts like a hyena, moving in for a taste here and there as you describe in your recent piece. I see people like that all the time, always on the periphery, never joining in the fun, whether it be dancing, drinking or even simply talking. They seem very afraid that they will possibly sell out their soul or something?

    Yes, some gay people and some circles of gay friends are on lots of drugs, narcissistic, into self-humiliating leather scenes, are drag queens, and all the things you say you saw on New Year's Eve. On that same night I was having a quiet dinner at Logan Tavern with my friends, none of whom are on drugs or are drag queens. But I have had evenings like you described, and gosh darnit I had a frikkin' blast doing it too.

    It took me a while to figure out that being gay isn't so different than being straight - it's just more fabulous but with a small group of uptight religious crazy people screaming at you all the time. Each aspect of the "gay community" that you describe is a choice - like a smorgasbord or buffet table, you can take any part of it or leave it. Some of it is quite tasty, while other dishes leave a bad taste in your mouth. I'm not going to load up your plate for you, but I suggest you just buck up and get your plate and load up for a taste or two from the buffet line. I can promise it is tastier than the one over there, but first you have to try it.

    No one is making anyone go to a gay bar three nights a week, subscribe to a Sir/boy lifestyle or to have several drag outfits. But I recommend everyone try it. None of these things will stick to you like a herpie sore forever - they are all interest-free commitments you can withdraw from at any time.

    And you can come back to some aspects of your pre-coming out phase. Right around 2000 or so I was thinking, "Gee, I sure miss backpacking, birdwatching - and fishing too! I used to really enjoy doing that back in college, but I never do it anymore. I'd like to do that again once in a while." I realized that I had kind of dropped a lot of things I used to do in lieu of going out, partying and doing the gay scene, which was a lot of fun but was starting to get boring. I still do the gay stuff once in a while, but not in fifth gear like I used to. I find it to be hard work. And now I'm doing things once in a while that I remembered I used to like to do, and I enjoy doing them. I guess it's because I'm getting older, but I think it's also having realized that no one is making you do anything "gay", you aren't required to do any of this stuff, and I don't think there is really this horrid "gay community" that you disparage so badly, Jeffrey. There is a wide range of options for you to take part in and subscribe to, but some of them won't jive with you. But to say that all gay people act a certain way or do a narrow selection of things is pretty retarded. Plus, you really don't know what being a drag queen is like until you've tried. So get your ass down to the Goodwill and look for a cheap cocktail dress before the next Drag Race in October. I assure you it will be fun, but no one is stapling the dress to your body permanently, so relax. Some insight and perspective would do you good.

    Posted by jimbo at 6:49 PM | Comments (14)

    January 19, 2006

    more weekend pictures

    Here's a few more pics from the weekend taken by the most awesome photographer next to Todd Franson, Henry Linser of Metro Weekly. Here's smiley Tim, me and Christoff when the dance began:

    For all who have been asking, here's Dreamy Ron with a friend from San Fran:

    There's a pic of my favorite sexy dancer of the evening (on right, but the guy on the left ain't bad either) there too on MetroWeekly's pictures from last weekend's events. His sinuous moves were hypnotizing me, and just lookit that smirk!

    Posted by jimbo at 12:54 AM | Comments (2)

    January 6, 2006

    now I can be _really_ righteous about cell phones

    Now that "real content" has been defined for blogs on Vividblurry, let me get back to my hysterical rants. I got rid of my cell phone today, so now I can be really righteous when I have to run over a meandering cell phone user on the sidewalk with my bike, tell someone on the shuttle bus to shut the fuck up, or see some lame-ass retard texting someone in a club.

    Aside from the ability to ascend to total rigteousness, the bills had become too expensive. I got DSL to pay for so I can play City of Heroes ya know. Plus I got sick of Verizon calling me every week to "improve" my service (read: stick more add-ons to my payments). Sorry, cupcakes, you pushed me too hard and gave me a good enough reason to boot your ass. Now I will have to practice the long lost cultural practice of "planning" and "appointments" by e-mail or from home/work phones to meet up with friends instead of "Ohmigawd I'll just call you and meet you there." Crazy talk, I know.

    Want to know what's gay today? Ohmigawd I like got Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor and it's like sooo awesome! Like Gurl bought it for me for Christmas and I like Jump, Push and I Like New York like those are like my favorite songs from the CD. I like think Jake Spears helped out on that last song, like "DUH!" he lives in New York and stuff! New York is sooo cool I just love going there.

    And I'm FINALLY going to see Brokeback Mountain this Sunday!!! I like know I'm like the last gay in the village to see it and stuff, but I like had to see Kong first.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:36 AM | Comments (8)

    December 19, 2005

    swelling, syphilis, & maria shriver

    Brett FavreAnyone out there got tickets to tonight's football game at Ravens Stadium in Baltimore? Apparently it may be one of Brett Favre's last games at the ripe old age of 36, and I've never seen a major NFL game before. Plus I dig the stadiums in Baltimore. I'm not really a football fan, but I am a Favre fan.

    I love my gay medical practice when phrases like this roll off the physician's assistants' tongue without a flinch:

    "You really should get tested for syphilis too, because you can easily get it from sucking cock or getting sucked off."

    His delivery was so deadpan he made me giggle out loud. I had to go in today to get my hands checked out, as I seem to be getting seasonally dry hands, so itchy and red that I need 'roid cream. Otherwise it looks like someone put Maria Shriver's hands on my wrists. Prednisone taken orally takes care of the rash, but it turns me into a PMS/'roid rage queen, and we'll have none of that this time of year.

    Last night we sorta had the Christmas edition of D&D, where one player went so far as to make Turkish Delights for the group! They are an extremely rich jellied candy with nuts in them. I rewarded the brown-nosing player by having an intelligent warrior gorilla slay his character in three swipes of his longsword. I'm giving like that this time of year.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:09 AM | Comments (4)

    December 14, 2005

    horny for the holidays

    queen kong?
    I don't know much about the British film Queen Kong Lives, but in accordance with talking about queens this week, and avoiding talking about that one movie that everyone is talking about to death until I vomit, I thought I'd bring it up.

    Last night I went on my last Christmas shopping trip to Pentagurl City, and damn if you Virginia Mall Queens don't cruise harder than Tom! I guess I'm accustomed to the jaded and furtive test glances of the 17th Street set, that furtive look that tries to avoid eye contact and attempts to save face by not looking like you'd actually debase yourself by showing interest in someone. Or, for God's sake, to avoid simply saying "Hello". I digress...the queens at Pentagon City Mall practically drill a hole through your head with their staring and fall just short of humping your leg in public. It's very refreshing. Either that or everyone is going ape shit for my hot Kris Kringle look. 'Tis the season you know.

    I'm also guessing it could be Holiday Horniness. I think for many the knowledge that you are going to go home and will be forced to be celibate for 2 days makes people desperate this time of year. Go to your local gay gym the day before Thanksgiving or Christmas and you'll see the sauna is practically overflowing with semen, with gay men in a frenzy to hook up.

    I'm actually over my holiday anger. I think the whole holiday thing is thrust upon you so fast and so hard after Thanksgiving that anger is a natural reaction to such a shocking display of crass commercialization and forced joy. Perhaps here's how the Holiday Stress Cycle goes:

    Anger > Stress > Resignation > Horniness > Holiday Joy > Peace on Earth

    Just a theory. I can also say I'm pretty horny right now, so I think my theory is true. Anyhow I met up with Fitz for dinner there and we had a nice Irish meal at Siné, another one of those faux-Irish themed restraunt with crappy American Guiness that tastes like Bud Lite. Anyway, I happened to have a printed copy of the short story that the recent over-hyped movie whose name I will not mention is based on, which I gave to Fitz for a short read. I assured him that it's a very sad story, and I keep hearing that it's an equally sad (but well-done) film that I'm not going to go see just yet because all this overhype is making me resent the whole idea of actually seeing it and I think I want to vomit whenever I see a frikkin' cowboy hat due to all the hype so shut the hell up about this goddamn movie, OK? Anyway, Fitz believes this movie will be a watershed film for The Gays in that it's quality and depiction of gay emotion will finally make the Krazy Konservative Kristians (KKK) shut the fuck up. I'm not so optimistic about the film's effects on Americans, as I think it'll make the KKK mad as a beehive that's been kicked, and they're just going to continue whining about gays until they fucking die their hateful deaths already. Plus, I don't think the people that need to go see it are going to go see it either.

    Cynically optimistic, I guess. Jeff and Jimbo at Blowoff Saturday night:
    Jeff & Jimbo

    Posted by jimbo at 11:09 AM | Comments (7)

    November 20, 2005

    it ain't over until the fat bear sings

    Andrew Sullivan touts The End of Gay Culture And The Future of Gay Life, claiming a revolution in how the younger generation perceives themselves and how it will dissolve the instituions whe identify as 'gay' today.

    Oh, I don't think so. While I admire his positive utopian outlook, there's still a lot of work to do. Even if we gain complete acceptance and acculturation into some "mainstream" lifestyle, I think we'll still gather together to talk about shared experiences - and of course to check out the hot guys.

    It's the closets that have changed, as evidenced by the continual flood of faceless shots on hook-up sites, new gay ghettoes like Fort Lauderdale (tagged as a "cumdump" by Geekslut) replacing the old, and kids saying "I prefer not to use labels," instead of avoiding the subject or denying outright when asked. An unlabeled closet is still a closet. A recent skittish guy invited into my home for a "massage" (What he called sex - we have to euphamize everything here in DC) had to claim that he "didn't do this kind of thing too often" in a city where it's fairly acceptable to be out at work and in daily life. Despite all the visibility and acceptance we have in the media and in politics, there are still an awful lot of gay people out there who can't handle being what I call "out."

    With homosexuals still being wielded as a mighty tool by the right to scare the bejeezus out of many Americans for votes, it is still plainly apparent that gays are marginalized by society and by their own. I liken it to looking into the divination font of my morning cereal bowl, where clusters of Cheerios will always gather into groupings of their own. Our gatherings are a litmus test of how we feel today, where identifiable sub-sub-cultures are still forming. Even if the Bear culture appears to tout masculine secondary sexual characteristics that supposedly identify them as "masculine" (read: "like straight people"), it's still a scene borne of the need to gather by necessity. And it's still a kind of drag, described by many as the new Castro Clone look. And younger gays are seeking to gain membership into this scene, proving that there's still a need for identification and acceptance into a non-mainstream grouping of similar people. And most Bears, or anyone in a specific subculture, still rarely interact outside of such groupings.

    Copperred Carl once claimed I was "Post-Bear," and I had to correct him that I was "Never-Bear." As I like to say, I'm a hairy fit guy with facial hair who likes the same in other guys. But I'm still gay, Gay, GAY! as the day is long. And as long as gays are still calling other gays "faggots" it's evident that we have a long way to go.

    And try claiming we have arrived anywhere between the great coastal metropolises that incubate our safe havens from where we make these claims. There is a lot of ground in middle America where many urban gay writers still fear to tread. It's easy to pontificate from your beachouse in Provincetown or from Chelsea or DuPont about how we are so integrated into society. Can a guy in Rhinelander, Wisconsin try to share a same-sex dance in a mixed bar in the Northwoods without word getting out and him getting fired? Does he still have complete protection under state and Federal law? Will people shelter their children from him on the street as he walks by?

    Andrew, I invite you to come with me as my date to my brother's wedding this summer in Western Wisconsin and let's see what you think after that.

    Posted by jimbo at 1:08 PM | Comments (16)

    November 7, 2005

    thar she blows

    For lack of anything to blog about I redesigned my main page template based on the graffiti spotted by Homer in Tucson.

    Homer is a nice guy. Over time I've learned to appreciate nice people and to actively move away from those who are not. Bad people are toxic to anything around them. It is easy to discern such people, even at an early age. Build a snowman and see who helps you, or who comes to knock it down. Call me a moralist if you will, but it's all the litmus you need in life to avoid poisonous people. In certain places toxicity is so common that you can't differentiate between its gradients, eventually becoming indifferent to it until it ultimately consumes you. I hope I never get that way.

    Our last league match of the season was this Saturday. I did not play well, and might as well have forfeited my position to someone who could have learned more from it. Eh, I'll be more fired up for the big gay rugby tournament up in NYC this weekend. Some old teammates now living up there will be stopping by and it'll be good to see them.

    Yesterday's weather was glorious, and I spent much of the afternoon maintaining the reputation of both DuPont Circle and 17th Street as a place frequented by those who are gay. I'm not normally one for public displays of affection, but managed to trample a decent sized swath of grass in the Circle proper in a two hour public cuddle and mackfest on the turf. One interesting moment was when a straight couple and their two young children camped out right next to us to enjoy the weather as well. They were either oblivious or didn't care about the the two boys snuggling like rhesus monkeys next to them. Their two kids, a 3 and a 5-year old, were running about and didn't bat an eye to a same-sex embrace going on right next to them. Probably because their parents didn't give a damn either.

    And everyone had a nice day in the park.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:24 PM | Comments (7)

    October 28, 2005

    Stevie Nicks' magic spells will cure me of my homoxexuality.

    Oh Mah Gawd there's gonna be a Stevie Nicks Halloween Party on Saturday at Omega. I'm guessing it'll be like their Kylie Minogue parties except there'll be tons 'o Stevie videos and music instead. No commitments as it's a night after rugby and I'm likely to be burnt out, but should I need to be cured of my homosexuality by her witchcraft I may consider going.

    This week's Outright feature in Metroweekly praises a recent campaign by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force to combat an anti-gay measure in Houston, Texas. The NGLTF effort has produced ads, described as conservative by MW, that focus on the concepts of marriage, commitment, families, children and faith as arguments against the Amendment 2. If this is a conservative effort I guess I'm still for it, as past successful civil rights efforts by other groups have also focused on the same concepts. By and large Americans will favor these ideas of fairness and equality more than arcane legal terms and obtuse post-modern liberationist ideas, which will often sail over the heads of the average American. I think awareness-building approaches like this will be more digestible to the American public at large in the long-term fight for equality. Most of the moderate middle still do not really know who we are, and they will tend to believe whatever the Krazy Konservative Kristians (KKK) will tell them. But appealing to an inherent belief in simple fairness often works better than a post-doc treatise on the detailed minutae of heteronormative oppression of the marginalized subcultural familial groups, or something like that.

    This morning's Washington Blade (yeah, I still read it despite continual flathering op-ed pieces by Jeff Gannon/Guckert/Whatever) featured a story about HRCs new communications director having worked for "outspoken gay marriage foe" and former Democratic Oklahoma Representative Brad Carson. I can tell you Brad Carson is down with the 'mos despite his voting record. Another of Carson's gay former staffers (and a friend of mine) is an avowed Kenny Chesney stalker, and when the news came out about Chesney's marriage to Renée Zellweger, Carson had the senstitivity to send condolences to the crushed gay Kenney fan. It is not known if Carson sent a missive of celebration to my friend upon Chesney's divorce, but I can tell you secondhand that Carson is aware of and knows gay people to the extent of emotionally supporting bad stalking habits.

    But when you are running for a seat in the Senate against an ultra-conservative opponent, you have to say what you need to say to get the vote. When Carson ran for the Senate seat his opponent Coburn was doing the whole gay-baiting and fear-mongering about homos that we saw so much in the last election. I hate to be apologetic for Carson's stance and statement from that time, but a more moderate Carson would have been better in the seat than a nutty Coburn, even though they both state the same thing. Better the devil you know than the nutjob they eventually got, or, it's what Carson does that impresses me more than what he says. Currently Coburn is producing little to nothing for the people who voted for him, whereas Carson made great strides to support and fund law enforcement efforts exposing rural crystal meth labs, which is a huge problem out west.

    Big gay DC meth dealer gets 15 years in the slammer, 30 of his dealers prosecuted. Expect major weight gain this fall/winter on 17th Street, counseling services for body dysmorphia and addiction recovery is avaialable at the Elizabeth Taylor Center over on 14th Street. Good luck on that one guys.

    And Mr. Hikaru Sulu is gay.

    Posted by jimbo at 8:09 AM | Comments (8)

    October 25, 2005

    BEER TENT. high heel race tonight. DRINK BEER.

    BEER TENT. More gay stuff this week with the annual 17th street high heel race, starter gun goes off at 9 sharp, but you better be there early to get a good place to stand. It will happen rain or shine, and considering my team has a DRINK BEER, you might as well go there and stay dry and drink beer. SUPPORT RUGBY FAGGOTS.

    I could not find a wig in time to race, although I did snatch an awesome pair of stretchy firetruck red BEER TENT capri pants that I do plan on wearing some time in the future. Totally shows off my package too. DRINK BEER.

    BEER TENT. Has anyone been to the city of Okanagan in the south central part of British Columbia? DRINK BEER.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:53 AM | Comments (4)

    October 23, 2005

    no. more. gay. stuff.

    Tons 'o gay this weekend, filling me almost to capacity with gayness. Luckily tonight I'll fulfill some geekness with the D&D gang. On Friday I went to two good flicks at the Reel Affirmations XV gay & lesbian & whatever film festival with a screening of "The Mostly Unfabulous Life of Ethan Green," an adaptation of the comic strip and "Freshman Orientation," which was about the misadventures of a straight guy pretending to be gay to get the girl, who was tasked to break the heart of a gay man to get into her sorority. Wacky mayhem ensues.

    On Saturday we played the team from a nearby Marine base, and while we did not win we got the least amount of points against us than any team in our league who have played them this fall. Then I had to take an online exam. Mental note: do not schedule anything on a Saturday evening after a rugby match. I'm just too wiped out to commit, but did manage to drag myself to my first experience at the Miss Adams Morgan drag pageant. It was much bigger than I expected, but I'm kinda glad I was almost two hours late because I may not have been able to handle that much gay in one day.

    Me, a drag queen, and Xena, Warrior Princess:
    drag queen, me and Xena, Warrior Princess
    Mr. Jackson is looking for some children...
    Fellatious Maximus and Priapus Pullo, of Rome, and Johntiqus of Beaverhausen:
    gurlicus and phallus maximus
    Gurl, and Burl:
    a gurl, a burl

    Posted by jimbo at 1:44 PM | Comments (5)

    October 7, 2005

    Celebrate Brett Favre Day on October 10

    Openly gay Wisconsin State Senator Tim Carpenter (D) passes into legislation Brett Favre Day on the scruffy man's birthday of October 10, 1969.

    National Coming Out Day follows Brett Favre Day on October 11.

    If I was still living in Wisconsin and still in the closet, the timing of both events would certainly expedite the process of coming out for me.
    Photograph by Rick Chapman Photography. More of Brett in this gallery on his site.

    Jimbo.info encourages everyone to wear green and gold on October 10, and to not shave, in honor of Brett Favre Day.

    Posted by jimbo at 1:35 PM | Comments (9)

    October 3, 2005

    care and feeding for your pet diva

    The other night while walking to Mr. Henry's down Pennsylvania Avenue, a young, drunk, female Hill Drone shuffled by screeching out the standard sorority mating call: "Ohmigawd! I am SOOOO DRUNK!" I know it sounds cliché, but she actually said that. I whispered to my companion, "That's what we call a 'Jennifer' here in DC."

    Jennifer also goes out to gay bars a lot. If you're a Jennifer new to DC, please reference this blog entry on tips on how to be a well-behaved Jennifer out at the gay bars. Or as Sean would say, care and feeding for your "Pet Diva" while out on the town.

    "Oh, Mighty Isis." Cue cheesy wind sound effects, diva launches into the air.

    Maryland beat Virginia this weekend. Neener, neener, neener. Maybe all that crappy Dave Matthews Band music will go away now, to be replaced by Marvin Suggs and his Muppephones.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:49 PM | Comments (4)

    September 1, 2005

    So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

    Today is gay affirmation day:

    I step out of the ordinary
    I can feel my soul ascending
    I am on my way
    Can't stop me now
    And you can do the same
    So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

    Sing it, sister. I just bought the latest Queer As Folk soundtrack (season 5?) and it is OFF THE HOOK! High energy dance songs with lyrics and divas singing in the background, not soul-less Tina music either. 'Proud' is sung by Heather Small, formerly of M People. Another great track on the CD is 'Hardcore MuthaFucka' by DV Roxx.

    It's the last season for Queer as Folk on Showtime. I never watched it much, as I seem to appreciate the soundtracks more. And perhaps gays are disappearing from television, which means y'all need to get off your asses, out of the ghetto, and talk about your real lives with your families, coworkers and straight friends. Your face and voice are far more effective in making change than any HRC dinner or a character on the boob tube. For inspiration and affirmation, spend a good 10 minutes or more on jonathan francis cass' website.

    Currently reading The One-Hour Activist, by Christopher Kush, for some review and ideas on how to make change. I'm kind of excited for the United For Peace rally, regardless of its outcome. It's empowering to get involved, and makes you feel good and less helpless to try to do something in a dark time where ignorance and fanatacism seem to rule.

    Oh yeah, and I play on a somewhat-gay rugby team that has been fully integrated into the local mostly-straight union, whom we play regularly. One example of making change person-by-person can be illustrated with this story: many years ago the Quantico Marine base team could only bear to send a single emissary to our post-match socials. Last year the whole team and their families came. That's progress, made on a personal level. It takes time and is harder than clicking a mouse button or griping about something on a blog, but it looks like that's where the work needs to be done.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:52 AM | Comments (5)

    August 5, 2005

    it's nearly over between me and Seann William Scott

    O.K. Sean, I'm not liking your new Auschwitz Pimp look these days. It was bad enough that you insisted on shaving your chest and becoming as ripped as that John Basedow freak (Didn't he die in the tsunami?). Throw away the body clipper and immediately proceed to the deli for a sandwitch - or three. I'm starting to look over your shoulder at that bad boy Johnny Knoxville instead.

    Thanks to my at least 5 informants who sent me pictures, hearsay, stories, and related detailed news items on SWS' new (unapproved) look. You guys were like on the ball as if I had my own Reuters news team trained specifically to send me SWS pics and info! Nice work. I will not, however, post the pictures you sent because his new look is scary.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:34 PM | Comments (6)

    July 21, 2005

    gay, gayer, gayest, ex-gay: happy gay news

    OK, OK. The "lawn dart through the head jimbo pic" is back. I am amazed at how many people cried out when I removed it. I'll keep it up as long as it's seasonal. What is wrong with you people?

    I have tickets to the Berlin/The Fixx concert tonight at the 9:30 Club. I have been running around so much lately that I don't care. I will take my time getting there tonight, and if it's hot or if I have a headache or if the sound sucks I'm going home. Just in one of those moods lately.

    Josh comes out. Congrats! I always liken coming out to having dropped a big turd in the toilet, and Josh just clogged the loo and needs a plunger. But it feels sooo good to have let that out of you. Go send props to Josh. He likes the linklove.

    Clickboo has a lovely story about coming out AND paying off debt! A great combo. Please come teach me about Quicken, 'boo.

    Durban Bud, local gay hottie, likes to make out. Can you help him?

    Straight dad takes kids to gay pride. Kids happy to get free lollipops. This is a guy from my hometown who has changed a lot, for the better, and props to him. It seems like those who leave my hometown tend to swing in an opposite outlook after leaving, like to more tolerant views after seeing how things are elsewhere. Then again, at my class reunion last summer nobody seemed to give a damn that I was gay, which was nice. He always posts cute pictures of his kids on his blog too.

    Today am wearing a very gay pink shirt from Brooks Brothers with colors reminiscent of a bubble gum machine.

    I will be going to gay pride AND GateCon in Vancouver next week with Gurl, and Corky & Co. is gonna be there too!

    Regarding outing and ex-gays, talked about much of late on the above blogs and on others. I cannot advocate ex-gay conversion camps, especially retarded ones that frown on Tommy Hilfiger and A&F clothing as a source of gayness. I do not think ex-gays are as happy as they could be. I do not think closeted gays are optimally happy either. But happiness is generally a self-directed path, and you cannot force someone to be happy with themselves, their sexuality, or their level of honesty with self and others. Coming out is a very personal process, from which which not everyone comes out intact. Some people can't handle being gay. It's too tough. The gay scene is full of some very harsh and threatening realities. Sure, they are realities some straight people have to deal with, and are avoidable for anyone, but I think it's a little more concentrated in ours: drugs, disease, hatred, and mental constipation due to ghettoization. If you are not a resilient, flexible and self-aware person you either get caught up in one of the above issues or you despise it, yourself and the scene. You have to eventually realize it's a give-and-take buffet table, not all of which you have to partake. I have met some people who I think cannot ever be happy with being gay, or being part of a "gay community" and I think it's best for everyone to be as happy as they can be. For such folks, I often wonder if the illusion of being straight isn't better for them. No, it's not what they really are, but a lot of people out there construct their own realities for their own mental health and sustain themselves on such illusions. Such castles often come crashing down later, but if the option is there and they're gonna be happy with it for a while, let 'em try the ex gay thing. It's their path to take. As an experiential learner I cannot advocate any less for a person.

    Posted by jimbo at 4:25 PM | Comments (10)

    July 12, 2005

    "seed me."

    Sometimes I'll leave obnoxious messages on Gurl's work phone, and I always hope that he'll have his speaker phone on in the office when he checks the message:

    "Hey you giant nelly pig bottom, this is Jimbo. After you are done being seeded, give me a call, OK? Later Gurl."

    Here at jimbo.info we in no way advocate unprotected sex. But Gurl and I totally love the euphemisms and metaphors The Gay make up when describing unsafe sex. Many of them are quite clever. Let's make a list, shall we? First, we have to write down all the synonyms for the noun 'semen':

    semen; sperm; cum; load; DNA; seed; pud; jizz; jism; juice; spunk; issue; ejaculate; paste; ball-bearing oil; beef gravy; cocoa butter; comings; cream; dick drink; doll spit; dolly; face cream; french dressing; fruit juice; gism; goo; hot lead; hot milk; jelly; joy juice; liquid hair dressing; love juice; mahu-pol; man-juice; man oil; maria; mayonnaise; meco en tu boca!; mecotero; milk; milky load; oyster; pearl; pearl drop; protein; rice pudding; rich cream sauce; royal jelly; queen bees; sauce; scum; seeds; snake venom; snow storm; soul sauce; spunk; starch; sticky; turnip seeds; vitamins; wad; whore's milk

    And then the verbs or phrases that help explain the act of depositing semen in one's rectal cavity ("breed me" another favorite):

    seed me; take my load; fill my gut; take my cum; breed me; squirt

    Hmm...I'm sure there are more phrases and verbs for the act of depositing semen the above list seems so limited! Please add your Two Cents! Thanks to Homer and Chrisafer for helping compile these lists and conducting field studies.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:31 AM | Comments (17)

    June 13, 2005

    wilting with pride

    It was a nice weekend, and I didn't get so Proud as to be overloaded with gayness. One can have too much. Saturday I had a decent workout followed by a bike ride up Rock Creek Park, where I formulated my plan at the Amazonia exhibit of the National Zoo to scoop up a couple guppies from their tanks while the docent isn't looking. There's like a million of them, freely breeding, so don't worry. Many small chores followed by backyard pot planting, then off to Blowoff. I was pretty beat from the day, so I didn't stay long, but these monkeys were there, amongst many others:
    Carl, Jimbo, Joe, Chrisafer
    On Sunday I was up remarkably early awaiting the arrival of the now-famous Hunky Radiant Leprechaun, who made his debut as bloggeratti at Pride later that afternoon. He was a little taken aback at folks who would say, "So YOU'RE the Leprechaun?" and by blog readers from Texas who just up and say howdy in the Metrorail station. Here's a pic of my friend Jon, his partner Gabriel, their friend Brian and the Hunky Radiant Leprechaun in front of what Federal building? I have no idea what that building is, but I should know:
    Jon, Gabe, Brian & Sea
    Why all bloggers at Pride were wearing white, I don't know. I must have missed the memo. But here's (left to right) Rich, Joe, Dan, Ed, Chrisafer, and 'boo. The glamazons on the far right may or may not be bloggers. This photo is like the Steel Magnolias of the blogosphere. Oh, and Dan, in addition to being a beefy hunkstud, loves visits to his blog. Dan, Dan, Dan, go visit Dan's weblog. Dan. Dan.
    blog gurlz
    Didn't get enough of Dan? Here's Dan on the far right, with Carl (start back left again), Rich, Joe, and again, Dan
    Carl, Rich, Joe, Ed, Dan
    Ladies and Gentlemen, President Bob Mould. Vice President Richard Morel is currently at Camp David, and Dan is not in the picture here. AWESOME photo courtesy of JoeMyGod.
    President Bob Mould
    Bob's great performance was followed by a banshee woman-creature screeching out The Star Spangled Banner. We could not flee the main stage fast enough.

    Later on the Hunky Leprechaun and I went to the Johnson IMAX Theater at the National Museum of Natural History for a screening of Into the Deep, which was pretty cool. Fishes and sea lions flying into your face. Better than that market in Seattle where they throw fishes at you.

    Posted by jimbo at 9:34 AM | Comments (10)

    June 7, 2005

    Screen on Stead

    This summer, The Center presents Screen on Stead - three nights of movies under the stars in Dupont Circle's Stead Park.

    June 22 Mommie Dearest
    July 20 The Rocky Horror Picture Show
    August 17 The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

    Free admission, donations appreciated. Stead Park is located on P Street NW, between 16th and 17th Street NW. Movies begin at sundown.

    I don't know who The Center is, but it looks like this is modeled after Screen on the Green, another fun (but hot) favorite thing to do in the summer here.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:35 PM | Comments (1)

    June 3, 2005

    june is gay pride month

    American Legion MajoretteI was just thinking that before the usual round of discussion this time of year regarding the dominance (pun indended) and percieved misrepresentation of leather and drag queens in June Gay Pride parades begins, I'd be proactive and say, "If ya don't like it get your 'normal' straight-acting masc suburban ass on a flatbed and dilute all that misrepresentation with your presence in the parade. Or shut up."

    But then I realized that if the gay community were actually represented with a fair ratio of 'normal' to 'freak' in a Gay Pride parade, it would be very, very boring. That is why straight people play insturments, twirl batons and put big fuzzy marshmallows on their heads during Straight Pride parades for Thanksgiving, 4th of July and Memorial Day. If they didn't put big fuzzy marshmallows on their heads or avoid playing sousaphones, their parades would be very, very boring. Is this uniform any less silly than this one? One is made of wool and hot to wear during a summer parade, and one is of leather and is hot to wear in a different way.

    Mmm...Scott Jones. What was I talking about?

    Anyway, I believe that slings, wigs and dildos are the band insturments for the gay community, and drag and leather are the band uniforms for gay people for our parades. Deal with it or git yer own band uniform.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:33 AM | Comments (6)

    May 31, 2005

    I love my affected, gay scene, drama-ridden friends

    What I mean by that is that every time I see some online profile that says, "no fems, masc only, no affected behavior, non-scene, no drama," in some guy's online profile I just want to flame out and sing show tunes and just be totally flamey and gay and make drama in their presence just to piss them off. Or maybe I should just put on my profile: "Bored With: anti-scene, stoic, affected masculine, issue-ridden, bad tops in truck driver drag."

    Because you know the queeny ones are the best tops, don't you? It's true, fyi.

    Some of my cherished and lovely femmy, in-scene, drama-ridden, affected gay friends came over to to help me unpack last night. Gurl and I had already polished off one bottle of fine Arizona wine when Chrisafer and Bubbles showed up. When the first bottle wore off and I began to feel my achey back again, they were ordered to fetch more, including a 40 oz. of Schlitz Malt Likka, which was downed as well. Unpacking is a lot more fun when you're drunk, but today my entire body feels like my back, and I can't find anything.

    Anyway, I am somewhat settled in my new place, and met the bright shiny tenants upstairs, including a cute Jewishy looking guy named Josh or Johnathan. The movers were great, and I'm never moving without movers again. Well, except for the burly bitchy Scottish guy who had to comment on the quality of my furniture. It's cheap crap, I know! I have this cute little bizarre modular dishwasher that you have to wheel over to the sink to plug in, but it works well. And I have an OVEN! I am making MUFFINS and APPLE PIE and TOLL HOUSE COOKIES this weekend to make up for 3 years of par-boiling and frying everything.

    Interesting story of a raccoon-related death in Fairfax from rabies. Dying from rabies is quite gruesome. Please go to the ER immediately after being bitten by any sketchy creature.

    Cute pic from our last rugby tourney of the season. I like the feel of that picture. One of action jimbo too.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:53 AM | Comments (6)

    May 24, 2005

    AIDS and fear campaigns

    Andrew Sullivan makes an interesting point about HIV prevention campaigns in one of his Monday entries:

    Your life is not as definitively shortened with HIV as it is with diabetes; the treatment is far less onerous; the lifestyle changes are fewer, compared with daily injections, monitoring your diet, and so on. All of this poses a big challenge to those trying to craft safer sex messages. When the costs of infection are this low and the sexual benefits as immediate and attractive as they always are, the current strategy of scaring people to death won't work. We have to find a better, more positive way to encourage safer sex.

    I'll have to agree with his idea and take back what I said on one of my rants from 4 years ago. Back in 1990 or so when I came out and the scary numbers of quick deaths were only just starting to subside, fear tactics in persuasive health campaigns were the norm, but don't seem to be doing much these days. Having just finished a class in persuasion and one in the rhetoric of social movements, I have gained some insight on the efficacy of negative fear campaigns. They work in the right conditions, and may have been effective 15 years ago, but not so much these days.

    MLK never said, "I have a nightmare!" and posed many of his arguments at times in a positive light. Similarly, environmental movements have learned to do away with a lot of doomspeak and put success stories in a positive spin rather than the typical declarations that the sky is falling. In a nutshell many of their current campaigns are saying: the world around us is a bit cleaner since the '70s, keep up the good work.

    I don't have any easy answers on how to convince the young'uns and not-so-young sexually active gay men to be safe though. Some of the retroviral drugs will still mess you up a bit, even though they are more effective and you have to take fewer pills.

    My roomate came home with a styrofoam cooler one day and plunked it on the counter and said, "Here is a down payment for a house!" He said the cooler contained about $10,000 worth of HIV medications for his treatments. Having gone through a period of unemployment sans health coverage, I can only wonder about the hoops one would have to go through to get meds without coverage, especially considering the troubles some HIV clinics are going through these days. Simple red tape and having to take any more medication other than Advil (for rugby) and Allegra is enough to scare me. Perhaps posing that a simpler life can be maintained without HIV is an idea? Discuss.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:35 PM | Comments (8)

    May 5, 2005


    Ohmigawd! Today is 05/05/05!!! So like I'll get up and make a blog entry at 0505-hundred hours.

    Hunky Washington Blade editor Chris Crain was recently gay-bashed in Amsterdam, on Queens Day near the gay district no less. Here's the link to the moving story and disturbing photo on the Blade website. Even in the illusory gay meccas of progressive countries there is sometimes no escape from homophobia. I've seen the editor out and about here in DC, and he is a very big guy - it seems hatred does not recognize stature either. It's a sad lesson that sometimes culture does not always keep up with policy and legal protection even in the most tolerant societies.

    In the summer of 1990 I had begun to come out, and sort of "did Europe" while studying German forestry practices and pollution issues in Poland. I checked out the gay scenes in Oslo, London and Amsterdam. Amsterdam was a huge gay theme park that I saw through very wide eyes, but I managed to have fun safely. Even back then it seemed safe enough, but that's not always the case I guess.

    Posted by jimbo at 5:05 AM | Comments (2)

    March 28, 2005

    The D.C. police Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit

    A very good (and long!) article about The D.C. police Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit from today's Washington Post:

    Other law enforcement agencies across the country -- Atlanta, Philadelphia, Chicago -- have officers who deal with the gay community, but none has a separate squad like the District's. In addition to four full-time officers, there are eight auxiliary and reserve officers, including one transgender member, Tomi Finkle, a retired U.S. Capitol Police sergeant who now carries a LadySmith .45.

    The article focuses on the efforts of tireless, everpresent and friendly Sergeant Brett Parson. Similar article in Metro Weekly. Definitely a good PR week for Brett.

    Prince has a new assistant. We love Andrea and her pictures and her hunky friends. She's one of what, 2 straight female bloggers on my blog roll? We should hook her up with the only straight male blogger I have linked, just like how straight people hook us up in the workplace or at a party. "Hey, he's straight, you two should go on a date!!!" God bless 'em, those breeders.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:00 AM | Comments (4)

    March 24, 2005

    creepy inner circle HRC stuff

    coffee and brownie at cafe panchesco in AZ
    Coffee and brownie at the cafe where Panchesco works. Photo by Homer.

    During breakfast this morning I caught up on some news from this weekend's Washington Blade. There was an article in there about HRC's inner circle, confirming some suspicions I've held for a while.

    HRC always kinda creeped me out. For one thing, I don't like the fact that a single organization has so much power, and that so many people blindly support a single entity to represent us. I would like to have more options in which groups I choose to support. I'm asking for a democrazy of organizations I suppose. It's important to point out that we are still a movement, not an institution. And yet they have an impressive institutional edifice built in their honor down 17th street and hold their rallys there during rush hour, regardless of the protestors' safety during the well-attended events. Hint: stop masturbating, get a local park permit, and hold your rallys where it doesn't block traffic or endanger lives.

    Not much substance to the above statements, I know. Just a feeling, but feelings matter. HRC just creeps me out in the same unspoken way that Wal-Mart creeps me out, which is all I can say. Yeah, they remind me of McDonald's and Wal-Mart and Subway...they are everywhere you go, and always a safe bet. But the food all sorta tastes the same.

    What was interesting in the Blade article was that a long line of HRC leadership hails from Boston, the capital of the overly-educated. And I would contend the disconnected. After reading the article and imagining the close-knit board shuttling to and from DC along the narrow route between here and Boston, I had to wonder, do these people have any idea of what's going on between the coasts? Most of the HRC "insiders" quoted in the article had nothing but praise for the Boston Board. But in an established institutional culture of conformity, what kind of comments do you expect? I'd like to see something new, a shakeup, and a wider diversity of opinions and options, for HRC is not the movement, we are. And depending on a single organization to change things for us is a risky venture at best.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:32 PM | Comments (17)

    March 9, 2005

    on use of the term 'self loathing' & collective guilt

    Last year when the gay marriage debate was at a fever pitch, I was discussing the issue with a straight female coworker in the car on the way to lunch. When I mentioned gay Republicans who work in the White House with President Bush, she blurted out - without me feeding her any terminology I swear to you I did not - "Isn't that a little self loathing?"

    I've wanted to talk about the use of the term 'self loathing' for some time now. You hear it thrown around a lot amongst gay people, especially in reference to gay Republicans, the hypermasculine, and closet queens. I'm not sure exactly what the term means, because I think some gay Republicans love themselves very, very much, and have no ill-will towards themselves, their actions or their political stance. I think they are completely content with what they are doing, and see no wrong in working with those who seek to limit our freedoms. On a conscious level at least, I'm sure they are quite self-loving.

    I am guessing the main use of the phrase in reference to gay Republicans is that they work against their own people, so the 'self' they loathe is us, all of the gay people. Am I correct in this assumption of the use of the term "self loathing"? The flaw in that use of the term is that such people don't actually percieve themselves as 'us'. Gays are the other which must be feared and despised. At one stage in my coming out, I clearly recall standing there in a bar saying to myself in my mind, "I'm not like these people." Well, no I'm not, but we are of the same species and have a lot of similarities. But I believe a lot of gay men get stuck in this phase and end up compartmentalizing themselves outside of any concept of gay community.

    During the long drive to and from the ski slopes last week, there wasn't a whole lot of arguing or debate in our conversations, as the car was filled with three bleeding-heart liberal Democrats with similar outlooks. General agreement doesn't necessarily make for good conversation. Chip and Stefan are sweeties, but perhaps the drive may not have seemed so long when every issue we brought up resulted in a chorus of agreements, "yep"s and "uh-huh"s. A self-loathing gay conservative Republican may have spiced up the chatter a bit and made the drive seem shorter. >; ) Anyhow, I proposed a theory of mine that popped into my head one day regarding 9/11 and how America has seemed to freak out since then. (And I'd love it if you read the whole goddamn thing before commenting, instead of just the first line or paragraph. Thanks, Jimbo.)

    I will concede that America is a Christian nation. We generally have a lot of Christian values and hang-ups, and most people here were raised in one Christian cult or another. Even the American atheist's moral base is grounded in a lot of Christian values, although most of them would deny it.

    Along with our Christian values comes the requisite Christian guilt, which I'm happy to say I don't have much of. However, a lot of Americans carry a tremendous amount of guilt on their backs, and an elaborate toolkit of rationalizations to deal with the load.

    Many of us believe that when bad things happen to us, we somehow deserved it. When I got sick as a child, I remember my mother saying to me, "You have a cold because you're running around too much!" In effect, she was saying that my cold was not the result of a viral infection, but because I somehow deserve it because of my actions. It's an example of poetic versus scientific realism. The rational versus the mystic.

    Similarly, I think America is freaking out about morals, values and homos because we somehow believe we are guilty of something and were punished justly on 9/11. It sounds very irrational, but hey, look at the Presidential election results. This is not a rational, enlightened nation. We were struck a hard blow, perhaps an indirect backhand slap from the hand of God himself, and for some reason we deserved it. Someone is to blame for this punishment. It must be Janet Jackson and her boob, Howard Stern, and the homos. It is a collective feeling of guilt that seems to have fueled this country's need for a scapegoat. Wily politicians have sensed this feeling and have wielded it much to their advantage. Even some homos have jumped on the guilt bandwagon, joining the moral ragers despite their best interests. Deep down inside they too feel that we deserve what we got, and don't mind helping the religious nutbags hunt down those who brought this punishment upon us. Self loating on some level I guess, and an intense need to plod along with the herd.

    I don't personally believe that we were punished on 9/11 or that gays deserve to be legislated into the dark ages, but I do believe that a good portion of Americans feel this way on some level, and it may help explain the hysteria that's been going on recently. 9/11 is proof in some people's minds (or in the backs of their minds) that we had it coming, and now we must hunt down and stop those immoral beings that brought down our country. Discuss.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:50 AM | Comments (12)

    February 18, 2005

    cognitive dissonance

    Stupidly busy at work...the boss has gone absolutely ape shit this week. However, I do find the time to return phone calls and e-mails to former friends, despite my current conditions at work, especially for particular requests from friends in need...but I understand how important lives can become in downtown DC.

    Anyhow, there's this song I like that I hear a lot on the crunchy Muzak station that plays where I have lunch. It's a folksy tune that sounds like it should be from the '70s, but I think it's new. I want it. Anyhow, I want to say it's called "Amy," but a search for the title comes up with Amy Grant singles. It's mostly accoustic guitar, with a male vocalist and vocal harmonies in the background, and the lyrics go something like, "Amy, what you wanna do? I think I'm in love with you - for a while,"...mnummnum I forget the rest. It almost sounds like a younger version of James Taylor or an America song.
    UPDATE: OK, OK! I found the damn song!!! Thank you everyone for telling me about it! 'mwa!' kisses.

    Also, to the kind man at the San Francisco Chronicle who sent me the Dawn of the Dead DVD - I want to mail it back to you but wasn't sure of the return address - or your full name. Can you send me a good address to mail it back to you? XXXOOO.

    Yesterday in my Persuasion class we talked about persuading people with high levels of cognitive dissonance. You know, people who smoke and know it is bad for you, or "I know I should call Jimbo back, but I just don't have the time." The instructor used a specific example and talked about Jeff/James/Gannon/Guckert being both a GOP toadie and a gay male prostitute. When the instructor asked who in class knew about the story, I was the only one to raise my hand, which was kind of disturbing. Like I said in the last entry, no one seems to give a shit these days. America is dumbing down and releasing themselves from care, creating a culture of apathy which can lead to dangerous situations, as has happened in the past. Time to paint the windows in the attic with black paint...

    What is also depressing is that here we are with yet another negative gay male stereotype prominent in the news. Yet another conflicted, messed up sad man who has opened himself to ridicule in the public eye, who only comes out of the closet under pressure of scandal or tragedy. Unlike a lot of lesbian icons (Martina, Melissa, Ellen, etc.), there seems to always be far fewer positive gay male role models in the media. Is it that there are none around, or that the positive gay role models are just too boring for news coverage? Perhaps an out gay male role model is too threatening, and lesbians are percieved as hot?

    Does the public prefer our gay male stereotypes to be unthreatening, neuter, sexless men like Will Truman, in love with their female roomates? Perhaps these stereotypes are perpetuated by those nice quiet unthreatening gay men who go through life believing they are 'out' simply under assumption that "people just kind of know." Most often and most likely the kind of gay men who claim they are "making change from within." So they appear as the neuter, sexless gay man who never speaks of his partner and wouldn't dare be caught performing PDA. Now I'm not advocating a Geekslut-like approach of sharing about wild fisting sexcapades in the workplace, but there is more to being out than admitting once to yourself to being gay.

    Just once I would like to see a male movie star, prominent currently working athlete, or politician simply come out because he felt like it, without any scandals forcing the revelation. Just because it was good for him - and then he resumes his career without further hesitation or drama.

    Posted by jimbo at 9:36 AM | Comments (10)

    February 16, 2005

    we love you ben, cyndi; hate you 'jeff'

    we love you ben, love you cyndi
    I am loving the new PFLAG Stay Close ad campaign featuring famous people like Cyndi and Ben 'gasp!' physically touching and publicly showing their love for their gay sibilings or cousins. While we already knew Cyndi loves us, she puts her money where her mouth is yet again and puts her face out there to support us. And while we regret Ben's past partner choices, such as J-Lo over Matt (or ME), I'm pleased as punch to see him do this, as pleased as I was about the Daredevil movie. 'mwa' 'mwa' 'kisses' we love you and send Valentines to you.

    Cheer up queers...there are those out there who are standing up for us.

    But then again there are those that are not on our side, even those seemingly in our camp. All I gotta say is this to Jeff Gannon/Guckert/Whatever: you low-down, no-credentialed, back-stabbing, opportunistic feeding, skanky porn-named GOP toadie HO!

    What fascinates me over and over about these 'exposed' queers and hypocrites is this: how did you not expect to get caught? With congressmen going out to DC gay bars and White House Press Corps 'journalists' (And I DON'T want to hear you "more competent" journalists dissing bloggers now, y'hear?) having multiple escort sites, what were you thinking? I can only think of 4 reasons, or a combination thereof, as to what was going on in their minds:

    1. Underestimation of people's ability to make connections: or, an arrogant disdain for people's intellects. A most likely culprit in this case, and typical of the GOP. Like those in power today, these people continually make choices and decisions thinking that no one will see what they are doing. The sad part is, we do know what they're doing, but no one seems to care.
    2. Underestimating the finite nature of the Internet and the size of DC: I was chatting with Beaverhausen John once about this the other day. I don't think people understand that the Internet(s) is a finite resource. The 'This is the End of the Internet' page is no joke, really. Anyone with rudimentary research skills and the ability to open a browser and fire up Google knows this to be true. Similarly, I am continually surprised at those who don't understand how small DC really is, especially the gay community. In other words, I have seen your gay.com profile and I know exactly how big your cock is, and I know exactly where you work. And even though it's a pic of you from the neck down, I know it's you, so stop kidding yourself. I've been on several gay athletic teams and have been involved with several gay organizations in DC, and I know a lot of people here. It is a simple task for me to do a 'background check' of anyone I'm about to date. It saves me a lot of time and trouble, and a character study can be done in relatively short time due to who I know or who I've done. "Gurl, so tell me about this guy named _____." "Oh GURL don't GO there! She is a TRAIN WRECK and she has a small dick to boot!" And so on.
    3. Underestimating the permeability of subcultural boundaries: people who are closeted think gay people only hang out with gay people and only go to gay bars. Nowadays this is simply not true, and gay people actually talk to straight people, and are actually open about themselves with their straight coworkers and families. Crazy talk, I know, but in the limited horizons of a closeted mind, they are unable to imagine that others live in more open, permeable societies. They think that the suffocating bubble they live in isn't experienced by those 'better' straight people outside of the gay community. In one example, a particularly messed up gay rugby player on the premiere 'straight' DC team goes out partying with the gay boys in NYC, but lives it straight here in DC, and doesn't expect anyone to find out. He also happens to be a bit less supportive of our team on the local rugby union board than most of the straight people. Simply put, we threaten his perception of impermeable cultural boundaries and the compartmentalization of his life.
    4. Deliberate Career Suicide: I have a theory that people who are living miserable lives and hating themselves, or working in miserable conditions will commit a kind of "career suicide," especially if they don't have the balls to make positive changes on a conscious level on their own. So they will do things that will get them busted or fired so their life changes around for the better some day. Case in point: me. When I worked as a web designer at National Airport I had to work with an abusive coworker who actually made some other coworkers cry on a weekly basis. I was miserable there and also bored out of my skull. So I surfed the Internet - a lot, knowing full well that they had draconian policies regarding such misuse of company equipment. Not surprisingly, I got fired because of it. It was a long and hard 2 years that got me to the much improved environment I'm in today, but I'm thankful for it. Who knows how miserable I would be if I was still at the airport? I did not surf the Internet excessively consciously thinking I would get fired. I believe I was doing it on a subconscious level. Similarly, I don't think Jeff Gannon/Guckert/Whatever consciously wanted to get busted, but I think on some level he knew it was possible. Living a hypocritical, compartmentalized and hateful lifestyle made him miserable, but he didn't have the balls to make the positive changes consciously. So he did things and made 'mistakes' that got him busted. I bet you a forged White House Press Corps pass he'll be a staunch ally of ours after about 5 years of therapy.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:51 AM | Comments (5)

    February 15, 2005

    what straight friends are for

    Hi Hi Hi. So much to write about and catch up, but I felt it was more important to have the picture of the college student vomiting in honor of yesterday's most heinous holiday posted as long as possible.

    Last week I wrote about the need to get out of Dodge for some perspective, and happened to get it in an unexpected way this weekend. I had been kind of down from various negative experiences with mean, fucked-up or soul-less gay people over the winter, and was kind of in a "gay people are fucked up and I'm trapped in a small room with these people" attitude. I had been meeting more messed up gays than I had been meeting nice, well adjusted gay people, and it was bumming me out. But perspective came unexpectedly in the form of an expedition out to Sterling/Ashburn (Assburn) in the form of a birthday brunch for a straight former coworker on Saturday, who I need to hang out with more often to maintain perspective.

    Said straight married former coworker with child has a very tight group of other straight married friends with children who I know of yet don't hang out with that often. Because I know of these people yet am outside of that circle, straight former coworker likes to confide in me about at long length about their lives. In this case straight former coworker and I were caught in the infernal twisted mazes of Tysons Corner trapped in bad traffic, so there was lots of time for confidential sharing about the sordid messed up lives of straight people. Again, I forget about these stories straight former coworker tells me, but the moral of the tale is that straight people are proportionately just as messed up as gay people. I needed to know that, to know that the rest of America has to deal with just as many messed up people as I do, not just because I'm gay. I know, I know, y'all will say "Well DUH Jimbo!" but I need to learn these lessons over and over again. That's what straight friends are for.

    That and sharing loud farting contests in the parking lot of the restaurant.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:31 AM | Comments (5)

    January 31, 2005

    bugs bunny: drag icon

    valkyrieRobot Johnny has accumulated an impressive screenshot collection of Bugs Bunny in drag and various other gay situations. That rascally rabbit was pretty darn gay. Or secure in his masculinity. My favorite is the one of him in the Valkyrie outfit on the morbidly obese stallion. That one still kills me. The author's CSS is a little fucked up, so you gotta scroll down a bit to see them all. The commentary on the pics and the whole gay Spongebob shebang is pretty amusing too.

    I find it interesting to hear that Dobson is trying to take back what he implied once it got out into the media that he's a big douche bag anti SpongeBob meanie. His career is already over. I'm guessing he got some pressure for spouting his mouth off against a cartoon that was too popular with the kids. More of this sort of spin control, or out of control, soon my friends...once people start hearing more of this insane crap, the sort of crap that goes through their heads most of the time, rational people will see the light. Just sit back and watch the self-destruct mode implode, and hope none of us get any shrapnel in the process. The ultra conservative loony juggernaut will hit a wall and crumble some day.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:38 PM | Comments (5)

    January 29, 2005

    "Staff 2001."

    What is wrong with the leaders of this country? Cheney showed up at Friday's gathering of world leaders in southern Poland to mark the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz wearing the following:

    The vice president, however, was dressed in the kind of attire one typically wears to operate a snow blower.

    Cheney stood out in a sea of black-coated world leaders because he was wearing an olive drab parka with a fur-trimmed hood. It is embroidered with his name. It reminded one of the way in which children's clothes are inscribed with their names before they are sent away to camp. And indeed, the vice president looked like an awkward boy amid the well-dressed adults.

    Like other attendees, the vice president was wearing a hat. But it was not a fedora or a Stetson or a fur hat or any kind of hat that one might wear to a memorial service as the representative of one's country. Instead, it was a knit ski cap, embroidered with the words "Staff 2001." It was the kind of hat a conventioneer might find in a goodie bag.

    Add that to swearing on the floor of the House/Senate (I forget), which is just peachy. Dick. Is this part of a concerted effort to move positive diplomacy back to the dark ages? What a fucking insensitive, asinine, arrogant demonstration of leadership. Jeez...if jimbo would have a clue as to how to dress to commemorate a solemn ceremony with world leaders, this guy should too. Our country is so fucked for the next four years. WHAT WERE YOU VOTERS THINKING!?!? Aaaagh!

    Doozy of a date tonight. I'm not mad about it, just relieved it's over. Hit the 'eject' button ASAP and ran to the gym and kept on running on the treadmill. Thank God it was only coffee and not a full meal. He seemed all right online, nice on the phone, and cute too. We have more than a few things in common. But when we sat down at Caribou he was fidgety and couldn't make eye contact. At first I thought it was me, and politely supported the conversation on my own despite agonizingly long silences. As soon as I hit the bottom of the coffee cup I declared it was time to go, and as soon as we left the joint he finally thaws out. Later he tells me that an old coworker from like 10 years ago was sitting next to us, and he was very nervous about it. Add that to a few things he said during the date like, "All my friends are straight," and that his roomates are all straight led me to believe he is quite closeted. My sources in the field tell me that "he doesn't kiss," a high indicator of issues with closet cases. Before the date I offered locations to meet that were gay or gay friendly, and now I know he just didn't want to be seen in such GAY GAY GAY places. After being out for almost 15 years now, I cannot fathom such levels of emotional and mental constipation. All that shit is so behind me now.

    Now, I have my straight friends and my gay friends, and they all know I'm a big giant homo. The family does too. A flaming faggot, a cocksucking queer. Fuck me, suck me, and why don't you bend over after that too. I think I'm so far out of the closet I can no longer comprehend cloistering myself in heterosexuality as this guy was, so it was a bit of a shock to experience his bizarre turmoil. At my age and experience I should have seen that one coming though. As Tony said to me on the street afterwards, "Sounds like he knows where the Christmas presents are hidden." That's the first time I've heard that one.

    I'm only a little disappointed that the date went that way, but I'm very glad I'm so free compared to him. Seeing where I could be, or perhaps was so long ago was very liberating. I'm a pretty happy big giant faggot gay man, and I love it. Perhaps if more grumpy out gay men took brief field trips back into the closet, we'd be more satisfied and happy with how far we've come.

    Posted by jimbo at 12:49 AM | Comments (11)

    January 21, 2005

    how to give a gay former band geek a stiffy

    ...have a hot photo of yourself on bigmusclebears.com posing shirtless with your french horn. Lordy! If it were a contra bass it woulda been even hotter!

    Posted by jimbo at 3:32 PM | Comments (9)

    December 26, 2004

    hunting wild boars, bored

    what a lot of men here look like.  Can you see Jesus in the camo pattern on this guy?Eeek! Wild swine in the county south of us here in LaCrosse! Big hairy wild boars with tusks! Kinda like The DC Eagle but tastier and they do more damage to crops, not cops.

    There was an interesting article in the infamous Opinion section (no link yet, will add soon) of the local paper this morning about a parent of a gay person who had the same concerns Bob had in a recent entry. That is, that all this anti-gay meanness and vitrol has an effect on the minds of gay youth. I'll sign up when crushing happiness and snuffing out individuality truly becomes a Christ-like act.

    Can you tell I've been a bit bored out here on the steppe? Three-dozen or so blog entries so far, and desperate cell phone calls to Gurl and Chrisafer. Chatting with EarlGurl and the now-woofy bearded Fitz via videophone was cool. Mom's computer is pretty up to date to be able to do that. Off to the mall to cruise cute burly blond Scandinavian boys in Trebark® camo clothing. Wuuuuf.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:20 AM | Comments (1)

    December 24, 2004


    So every day I've seen an anti-gay editorial in the local paper, the LaCrosse Tribune. I even remember coming across a west coast blogger taking quotes from this paper's editorial section, they are so outrageous. The things I'm reading here are very disheartening. Today's gem, entitled "Don't Be Quiet About Evil" includes a comment about homos, thus equating homos with evil. People around here don't get out much. It's startin' to make me MAD! Don't get me angry, Mr. McGhee...you wouldn't like it when I'm angry. I start writing editorials.

    Speaking of superheroes, check out TrustySidekicks.com, a superhero fansite project by PJ and Sparky. If you are gay and are currently or were ever a comic book geek, you will love this site. And I know these two geeks and they Are The Authoritay! Even if you haven't cracked the spine of a comic (thus turning it from 'mint' to 'good' condition) in a while, it's worth a read just for the design.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:04 AM | Comments (6)

    December 15, 2004


    I was finally out of the closet by my second summer working in Alaska in 1993. I had advanced my career to match my newfound orientation and was a ferry naturalist, i.e. a guy that gives nature programs aboard a ferry boat. However, there wasn't much of an outlet in Homer for gay people, a small halibut fishing community on the coast. Homer is very crunchy with lots of ex-hippies and plenty of lesbians, but very few gay men.

    So about once every month I would hitchhike a 5 hour trip north along the Sterling Highway to Anchorage to get out to the gay bar. On the way I met numerous interesting personalities, like the guy with his dentures floating in a tupperware container on the dashboard, the 5 drunk Eskimos (I thought I was going to die), and the creepy woman with the daschund nestled eerily in the passenger seat. That woman and her dog freaked me out.

    Anyway, if I didn't end up hooking up at The Raven, I would stay at a nearby youth hostel, where you would never get much sleep. The Raven was and still is the most diverse gay bar I've ever seen. In DC, bars are generally segregated by social class within the caucasian gay male subculture. Forget about ever seeing a lesbian. The Raven had lesbians, drag queens, leather queens, military guys, Phillipinos, Aleuts, Eskimos, African Americans and more all under one roof, since it was the only place to go.

    I spotted one guy from across the room blah blah blah and we went to his hotel room. It was good to not have to stay at the hostel. He was kinda cute with brown hair, wholesome, and of course there was the promise of at least a little chest fur. He told me he was on a Christian mission teaching elementary school in the interior north of Anchorage, and was in town for a conference.

    Throughout our whole encounter, he muttered here and there about struggling with his sexuality, and wether or not he wanted to have sex with a guy, but it seemed pretty obvious to me he wanted to go there from the start. He seemed to be joyfully wallowing in the conflict and guilt he was generating for himself. Whatever, Connie Conflicted. Regardless, I wanted to see him with his shirt off and fast. When we finally got around to gettin' nekked, I noticed a large, hairy, brown birthmark on his back about the size of a beer coaster. Considering the obvious moral conflict he was going through, perhaps it was capricious and insensitive of me to say, "What is that, the Mark Of The Beast?" with a snicker.

    His eyes widened and he blurted out, "DON'T SAY THAT!" It took a while for him to come down from that, and I felt kinda bad for saying something that hit home so hard. I still wonder if he ever got around to dealing with his faith and sexuality, and that big birthmark on his back.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:31 AM | Comments (6)

    October 27, 2004

    gay marriage movement consultant tips

    I can't find one goddamn link to a copy of AshleeGate on any of y'alls queer blogs. I missed it on SNL. Being an owner of the original Milli Vanilli album on vinyl, I have a vested interest in lip-synch revelations. That, and only one queen seemed to recognize my Mommie Dearest reference from last week. I am very disappointed. Pink Cards revoked until December - all of you except for Sparky.

    We have beaten the same-sex marriage issue to a bloody pulp in class. Last night we had our presentations on the issue, analyzing the rhetoric of it as a social movement. Although those of us in class come from all walks of life (Chinese lesbian, Japanese woman, black civil rights studies students from Baylor and Howard Universities, and a big Lincoln-Douglas debate geek) we keep coming to the same conclusions. These are not demands, but suggestions - we're just sayin':

    Posted by jimbo at 10:04 AM | Comments (10)

    October 19, 2004

    gay history burnout

    I am going to barf if I have to read any more gay/lez/bi/trans/whatever rhetoric for class. The link below will take you to my recent assignment, putting together a gay/lez issues timeline. It's incomplete, only from 1900, and limited to the U.S. and BORING AS HELL to put together regardless. No one told me I'd have to do history crap for this class! Be sure to scroll down to the very last date on my incomplete timeline for a most important event in gay history!

    Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Trans History Timeline

    1905: Freud Invents Sexuality

    1912: Steinach Alters Sexuality with Hormones

    1924: Gerber Starts Society for Human Rights

    1940: New York City: A bar called Gloria's goes to court to fight being closed down, citing recent scientific studies and arguing that "there is no rule or regulation" preventing a "sex variant" from being served at a bar. Courts reject the argument, however, allowing the State Liquor Authority to continue closing bars frequented by gay men and lesbians.

    1941: Henry Publishes "Sex Variants"; The US. Military orders the first "blue" discharges of gay and lesbian service people.

    1945: New York City: The Quaker Emergency Committee meets to work for the establishment of a center where young people arrested on same-sex charges can go for assistance and counseling. The Readjustment Center that results from the Quakers' efforts is believed to be the first social welfare agency for gay men and lesbians in the US.

    June 1947: Los Angeles: Lisa Ben (a pseudonym that is an anagram for "lesbian") types and mails 12 copies of Vice Versa - "America's Gayest Magazine." The first lesbian newsletter, Vice Versa includes book and movie reviews, poems, and upbeat essays encouraging lesbians to persevere in their quest for a more satisfying life.

    1948: Kinsey Publishes Sexual Behavior in the Human Male

    January 3. 1948: The Kinsey Report on men is published, shocking the nation with its revelation of the high incidence of same-sex acts among American men.

    February 28, 1950: Testifying before the US Senate Committee on Expenditures in the Executive Department (whose members include Joseph R. McCarthy), Undersecretary of State John Peurifroy reveals that the majority of dismissals of State Department employees are based on accusations of homosexuality. Over the next few months, McCarthy and other conservatives accuse the Turban administration of laxity in rooting out homosexuals in government, bringing the Mccarthy Era into high gear.

    April 1, 1950: Bowing to Mccarthy Era pressure from anti-Communist conservatives, the Civil Service Commission intensifies its efforts to locate and dismiss lesbians and gay men working in government. Over the next six months, 382 are fired, compared with 192 for the preceding two and a half years.

    November 11, 1950: Los Angeles: Chuck Rowland; Harry Hay and his lover, Rudi Gernreich; Dale Jennings; and Bob Hull hold the first of a series of weekly gatherings leading to the formation of a homophile organization the men will call the Mattachine Society.

    April 1953: President Dwight D. Eisenhower signs Executive Order 10450, mandating the dismissal of all federal employees determined to be guilty of "sexual perversion." As a result, more than 640 federal employees lose their jobs over the next year and a half. Many more are allowed to resign quietly.

    August 1953: The Kinsey Report on women is released.

    September 21, 1955: San Francisco: Four lesbian couples, including Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, found the Daughters of Bilitis, the first homophile organization exclusively for women.

    May 1960: San Francisco: The Daughters of Bilitis sponsors a national convention of lesbians, probably the first public gathering focused on the topic of lesbianism in the US.

    November 7. 1961: Legendary San Francisco drag queen Jose Sarria runs for city supervisor. The first openly gay person to run for public office in the US, Sarria receives almost 6,000 votes.

    1960: Cuba: the police begin Operacion P, arresting prostitutes, pimps, and "pederasts" and herding them into concentration camps. Although same-sex relations are not illegal, large numbers of gay men and smaller numbers of lesbians are arrested as part of a wide-ranging campaign against people whom Fidel Castro's government believes are inimical to the revolution.

    May 1960: San Francisco: The Daughters of Bilitis sponsors a national convention of lesbians, probably the first public gathering focused on the topic of lesbianism in the US.

    May 12, 1960: United Kingdom:The first public meeting of the Homosexual Law Reform Society is attended by more than 1,000 people.

    July 30, 1960: France: The National Assembly adds homosexualite to a list of fleaux sociaux ("social plagues") that the government is charged to combat.

    October 3, 1961: Hollywood: The Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America (MPPDA) announces a revision of its production code. "In keeping with the culture, the mores and the values of our time," the revision advises, "homosexuality and other sexual aberrations may now be treated with care, discretion and restraint." The new ruling paves the way for the release of films like The Children's Hour and Advise and consent, but the MPPDA later amends the revision to specify that "sexual aberration" may be "suggested but not actually spelled out."

    November 5, 1961: New York Times critic Howard Taubman launches an attack on "the increasing incidence of homosexuality on the New York stage" in an article headlined "Not What It Seems: Homosexual Motif Gets Heterosexual Guise."

    November 7. 1961: Legendary San Francisco drag queen Jose Sarria runs for city supervisor. The first openly gay person to run for public office in the US, Sarria receives almost 6,000 votes.

    November 15, 1961: A Washington, DC, chapter of the Mattachine Society is formed. Activist Frank Kameny is elected president.

    December 1961: The release of the British movie Victim in the US marks the first use of the word "Homosexual" in a feature film. It is denied motion picture code seal of approval as a result.

    1962: James Baldwin publishes Another Country, a groundbreaking novel constructed around issues of race and sexual orientation.

    San Francisco: A group of gay bar owners and employees fori-lis the Tavern Guild, believed to be the first gay business association in the US

    January 1962: Illinois criminal code reform passed last year takes effect this month, making Illinois the first state in US history in which consensual same-sex acts are legal between adults.

    July 15, 1962: New York City: Randy Wicker talks listener-supported radio station WBAI into broadcasting a taped program in which seven gay people discuss homosexuality. Widely publicized in the local press, the program is probably the first favorable broadcast on the subject in the US

    1963: Five women found the Minorities Research Group in London, the first lesbian organization in the United Kingdom. Similar to the American Daughters of Bilitis, the group aims to provide isolated lesbians with counseling, education, and opportunities for socializing. Some members of the organization go on to found Kenric in 1965.

    Also in the United Kingdom, the English Society of Friends publishes Towards a Quaker View of Sex. The Quakers are the first mainstream Christian church to issue a public statement expressing tolerance of same-sex relationships. Also see 1945.

    Grove Press publishes John Rechy's City of Night to generally positive reviews, pioneering a new level of sexual explicitness both in the text and in the book's packaging: the cover features a photograph of Times Square male prostitutes.

    January 1963: At Frank Kamenys suggestion, the New York and Washington, DC, chapters of the Mattachine, the New York chapter of the Daughters of Bilitis, and Philadelphia's Janus Society join to found the East Coast Homophile Organizations. Nicknamed ECHO, the association marks the beginning of a new era of activism for the US. Homophile movement.

    1964: Canada's first homophile magazine, Two (inspired by), is issued by Kamp Publishing Company in Toronto.

    Philadelphia: Clarke P. Polak begins publishing Drum magazine under the auspices of the city's Janus Society, a Homophile group founded in 1960. The first US gay publication to combine serious news coverage with unabashedly erotic content, Drum reflects a growing spirit Of Activism among American gay men.

    United Kingdom: Women associated with the Minorities Research Group begin publishing Arena Three, the country's first lesbian magazine.

    The national convention of the American Civil Liberties Union modifies the organization's position on sexual rights. Henceforth, the organization opposes government interference in the private sex lives of consenting adults.

    April 1964: The Association for Social Knowledge, Canada's first homophile organization, is founded in Vancouver.

    June 1964: Life magazine entitles a cover story "Homosexuality in America." The article, which features photographs taken at a leather BAR called the Tool Box in San Francisco, challenges the gay male "pansy" stereotype at the same time it helps build awareness of the emerging American gay and lesbian subculture.

    September 1964: San Francisco: Bib Plath, William Beardemphl, Mark Forrester, Jim Foster, and others found the Society for Individual Rights (SIR). In addition to activities in support of a gay man's "right to his own sexual orientation," SIR will become one of the first gay male groups to provide community support systems as well as a wide range of social and educational programs.

    September 19, 1964: New York City: Randy WickeR, Renee Cafiero, other activists, and representatives of the New York League for Sexual Freedom picket the Whitehall Induction Center in protest of the Military's anti gay and -lesbian policies. Many consider this the first public gay and lesbian rights demonstration in the US

    November 16, 1964: Randy Wicker is a guest on The Les Crane Show, becoming the first openly gay person to appear on national television. Following the show, Wicker is barraged by hundreds of letters from isolated lesbians and gay men across the country.

    December 1964: San Francisco: after several months of talks and a tour of local gay and lesbian gathering spots, a group of Protestant ministers Join with lesbian and gay male activists to form the Council on Religion and the Homosexual.

    December 31, 1964: San Francisco police attempt to intimidate some 600 guests attending a New Year's Ball sponsored by the Council on Religion and the Homosexual, photographing each of the guests as they arrive and demanding entry without a search warrant. The ball is the first time many liberal heterosexuals have witnessed police harassment of lesbians and gay men. Three lawyers and Nancy May, a straight volunteer, are arrested.

    1965: Antwerp, Belgium: Activists form the Belgische Vereiniging voor Sexuale Rechtvaardigheid COC, the country's first homophile organization, on the model of the COC in the Netherlands.

    United Kingdom: Dr. C. Barker reports on the development of new aversion therapy methods to "treat" homosexuality in the British Journal of Psychiatry. Barker claims his method-injecting drugs every two hours for six days and nights to produce dizziness and nausea in the patient while he views pictures of nude males-is highly effective in helping gay men achieve "recovery."

    San Francisco: the Society for Individual Rights begins publishing Vector, a slick, lively, community-oriented publication sold on newsstands throughout the city.

    January 2, 1965: San Francisco: Council on Religion and the Homosexual representatives, most of whom are heterosexual, hold a press conference to protest the police force's "deliberate harassment" of the group's New Year's Ball.

    February 11, 1965: At the San Francisco trial of the four people arrested at the Council on Religion and the Homosexual's New Year's Ball, the judge orders the jury to find the defendants not guilty. The decision is widely seen as a turning point in the homophile movement's fight for gay and lesbian civil rights.

    April 17-18, 1965: New York City: Craig Rodwell, Randy Wicker, and other activists protest discrimination in the US and CUBA against gay men and lesbians in small but visible demonstrations in front of the United Nations building.

    May 29, 1965: The East Coast Homophile Organizations stages the first demonstration in front of the White House in protest of US government discrimination against gay men and lesbians. Seven men, including Jack Nichols, and three women, including Judy Grahn, picket. ABC and wire services report on the event.

    July 4. 1965: A small group of conservatively dressed lesbians and gay men picket Independence Hall in Philadelphia in one of the first public demonstrations for gay rights. Among those marching is Barbara Gittings.

    July 31, 1965: Lesbian and gay demonstrators picket the Pentagon to protest discrimination in the military.

    August 28, 1965: The State Department is picketed by gay and lesbian demonstrators for the first time.

    October 23, 1965: The East Coast Homophile Organizations a second demonstration at the White House. The FBI reports 35 picketers.

    January 1, 1967: Los Angeles: Police conduct brutal raids on several gay bars. Enraged by the sight of a few men exchanging customary New Year's kisses at ml midnight at the Black Cat in Silver Lake, LAPD undercover agents attack patrons and employees, leaving several severely injured and arresting 16.

    August 1967: The board of directors of the American Civil Liberties Union passes a resolution urging the decriminalization of consensual sex between adults.

    1968: In its official listing of mental disorders, the American Psychiatric Association re-categorizes homosexuality as a "sexual deviation" or a non-psychotic mental disorder" Previously, the group has considered homosexuality a "sociopathic" disorder.

    December 3, 1968: At the Metropolitan Community Church in Los Angeles, the Reverend Troy Perry officiates at what is probably the first public same-sex union ceremony in the US.

    July 2. 1969: New York City: 500 marchers confront police in the first "gay pride" demonstration, a march down Christopher Street.

    July 9. 1969: The Mattachine Society of New York invites activists to gather in Greenwich Village for the first "gay power" meeting.

    March 17, 1970: The film version of The Boys in the Band, the first major Hollywood look at gay life, premieres.

    December 4, 1970: New York City's first gay Community Center opens in Greenwich Village.

    November 8, 1977: Harvey Milk is elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. He is the first openly gay elected official of a large US. city.

    October 14, 1979: An estimated 1 00,000 people, with delegations representing every state and tell foreign countries, participate in the first-ever March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.

    November 10, 1980: New York City: a former policeman fires a submachine gun into two Greenwich Village gay bars, killing two men and wounding six others.

    February 25, 1982: Wisconsin becomes the first state to approve civil rights protection for lesbians and gay men.

    July 25, 1985: Paris: a spokesperson for Rock Hudson acknowledges that the actor is suffering from AIDS. Later, media reports openly discuss his homosexuality for the first time. The publicity given his illness marks a turning point in building public awareness of the threat of AIDS and in galvanizing support for efforts to fight the disease.

    November 17, 1985: New York City: More than 700 people concerned about negative publicity surrounding AIDS, bathhouses, and gay promiscuity attend a town meeting that leads to the founding of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

    March 14, 1987: New York City: The AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (Act Up) is formed as a direct action group by Larry Kramer and some 300 other activists.

    October 11, 1987: Washington, DC: The largest lesbian and gay rights rally to date convenes. According to organizers, more than half a million people participate in the second March on Washington.

    The Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt is shown publicly for the first time as part of the March on Washington. Stretched out over two city blocks, the Quilt integrates 1,920 panels, commemorating more than 2,000 persons who have died of AIDS.

    May 1989: United Kingdom, Ian McKellen, fellow actor Michael Cashman, and dozens of other gay men and lesbians found the Stonewall Group to monitor legislation in Parliament and lobby for equal rights for lesbians and gay men.

    April 28, 1990: New York City: Queer Nation stages its first public action. Almost 500 members of the recently formed organization march in Greenwich Village in protest of a pipe bomb attack on a local gay bar.

    April 24, 1993: Washington, DC: The third gay and lesbian March on Washington is prefaced by a mass wedding ceremony held outside the Internal Revenue Service building. Metropolitan Community Church founder Reverend Troy Perry conducts the service, joining 1,500 lesbian and gay couples in marriage, just before midnight, Lesbian Avengers march on the White House in what organizers claim is the largest lesbian demonstration ever.

    April 25, 1993: The third gay and lesbian March on Washington draws more than 1 million participants, according to organizers. Extensive television and newspaper coverage makes it the most widely publicized march yet.

    May 7, 1993: The Hawaii Supreme Court rules that the state must prove a "compelling interest" for denying same-sex Partners a marriage license.

    September 21, 1993: Amanda Bearse talks about being a lesbian in an Advocate interview. She is the first prime time television star to come out.

    August 4, 1995: US President Bill Clinton signs an executive order forbidding the federal government from denying security clearances on the basis of a person's sexual orientation. Administration spokespersons advise reporters, however, that individuals Ought still be denied clearance if they were in the closet and feared exposure to family or friends.

    October 1996: Washington, DC: 1.2 million people view The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt; Jimbo arrives in DC.

    Posted by jimbo at 4:10 PM | Comments (16)

    October 15, 2004

    14th Reel Affirmations International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival

    The 14th Reel Affirmations International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival kicked off Thursday night, and goes all next week. My roomate is heavily involved with this event.

    There are ten great days of film and fest--making it the gem in gay and lesbian Washington's cultural landscape. Thirty-thousand people attend every year, and there's lots of opportunity to soak up some great films, and meet some great people.

    The Lincoln Theatre pass is $125 and includes all the films at the Lincoln Theatre along with the nightly martini parties in the ABSOLUT Pavilion. It does not include the Opening and Closing night parties.

    The JCC pass is $75 and includes all the films at the JCC along with three films at the Lincoln Theatre. Passholders have access to the nightly martini parties at the Lincoln. It does not include the Women's Brunch or the Opening and Closing night parties.

    VIP passes get you into everything, and give access to parties and events throughout the year. Of course, individual tickets can be bought as well.

    All can be bought at the door, or online at www.boxofficetickets.org/oit.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:35 AM | Comments (4)

    October 12, 2004


    Bear with me here...webmistress just moved to Moveable Type 3.0, so I'm playin' with the options here.

    Something I read this morning on the subway on the way to work might explain the mystery of gay Republicans, or even black gay Republicans for that matter. It's from a piece I'm reading by Richard D. Mohr for class called "A Gay and Straight Agenda."

    "Studies have shown that, on gay issues, people are greatly affected in their opinions by how they think other people will percieve them. Taboos encourage, indeed enforce, the aping of opinions from one person to the next, causing them to circulate independently of both critical assessment and authentic feeling. The result is that many nongay people feel socially required to be gay-fearing or gay-hating, even when they are not homophobic by personal inclination. Many people do not on their own feel hostile to gays but feel compelled to go along with the rituals that degrade and silence gay life, lest they themselves be viewed as morally suspect."

    I've always wondered why an openly gay Republican working in the cogs of political life on the Hill could possibly work with a party that visibly seeks to undermine and gut who they are. Is it the fear of being percieved as morally suspect by their overriding organization (RNC), so they just go along with the party platform of degrading and silencing themselves? Discuss. And let me know if the comments work and all that.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:05 AM | Comments (16)

    October 3, 2004

    wedROCK this Tuesday

    Damn this frikkin' flu knocked me out all week, and I'm still draggin' today. I missed practice on Thursday, passed on the match against the Marine rugby team of all things, and spent most of Saturday being a vegetable around the house, doing little more than producing phlegm and snot. I hear tell Beaverhausen Ben was in town but after dinner last night I was out of gas. I went to the gym today to try to work out, but could only do limited sets at half my normal weight. The steam room helped out with my expectorating, however.

    I saw Bob pounding the pavement on this sunny day promoting Wedrock, which will be this Tuesday. There is an adorable pic of Henry Rollins, the MC for the show, on the cover of this week's Metro Weekly. I bought tickets for the concert, and Bob promised me he'd try to get Rollins to put me in a headlock, but I forgot I had class that evening. BUT, since we are currently on the social movements unit of the class, and our focus is on the LGBTwhatever marriage issue, perhaps I can weasel my way out of class if I promise to take notes or something. We are exchanging info on current news of the issue on the class listserv, and I've already put out a not-so-subtle hint to the professor about the concert, so we'll see. I'll grab my ticket tomorrow after work, but am not sure if I can go yet.

    Posted by jimbo at 4:06 PM | Comments (8)

    September 30, 2004

    banned list

    Added to my banned list: use of the name "Cody" as your gay porn star name or as your fake name for your bigmuscle.com profile. No gay man may ever use that name again, either as your first OR your last name. Ever.

    For that matter, no trailer park mama may name her little redneck child "Cody" either. Whether he is gay or straight.

    Same goes for the variant "Coby" in either case as well.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:04 PM | Comments (24)

    August 13, 2004

    cute NJ governor is gay...

    ...or at least he sucks cock regularly. Another high-level politician comes out, or in this case I'm guessing he was outed. He was also married to a woman, and publicly opposed gay marriage. That's pretty fucked up, but as we're finding out over and over again this year, not out of the ordinary. Self-loathing, extreme rationalization and moral disconnect runs deep in politics. While the governor was was kinda cute, his mistress not so much.

    While he's stepping down due to inappropriate conduct at work, I find it sad that this is all considered a "scandal," mostly due to his gay behavoir. It shows how far we really need to go to ensure that assfucking queers are not considered 'scandalous'. I think queers got pretty complacent during the Clinton administration. While the political and cultural climate now is harsh for gays, it does represent how a significant portion of society feels about us. Again, tawk to tha people about who you are and why you need the same rights as they do. People don't change much, but in most cases a little push is all they need to think differently.

    I'm getting more automated, unsolicitied SPAM on my comments area. I have a wish: instead of defensive additions to my Moveable Type blog content management that prevents SPAM, I would like offensive Denial of Service bombs and heavy artillery to blow the fuck out of their goddamn SPAM servers. Or better yet, and automated method to determine the name, address and automobile model that the SPAMmer in question owns. Then I would pay them a visit...personally.

    Posted by jimbo at 9:49 AM | Comments (5)

    July 21, 2004

    ...and virginia is for haters

    Congresswoman Jo Ann Davis (R-VA, 1st District) , the first female Republican from the Commonwealth of Virginia, apparently feels the need to prove what a cunt she is by meddling in the affairs of those in the District of Columbia. This intrusive meddling from legislators from other states happens quite a lot 'round here:

    To define marriage for all legal purposes in the District of Columbia to consist of the union of one man and one woman. (Introduced in House)
    HR 4773 IH
    108th CONGRESS
    2nd Session
    H. R. 4773

    July 7, 2004
    Mrs. JO ANN DAVIS of Virginia introduced the following bill; which was referred to the Committee on Government Reform.

    A BILL To define marriage for all legal purposes in the District of Columbia to consist of the union of one man and one woman. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, SECTION 1. MARRIAGE IN THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA. In the District of Columbia, for all legal purposes, `marriage' means the union of one man and one woman.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:44 PM | Comments (4)

    July 19, 2004

    wisconsin gay, dairy pride celebrations

    creative wymyn celebrating gay pride'Round these parts, June is the gay pride month for queers. I remember back in college in Wisconsin driving to Madison for the gay pride celebrations, but I couldn't remember what month it was held, but apparently there it's held in July. I guess the snowpack is melted by then. Anyhow, I thought this picture was colorful. How come they wymyn are always so creative? All then men can do is drag and dance shirtless on flatbed trucks.

    Oh, now I remember why they have gay pride celebrations in July in Wisconsin: because in Wisconsin, June is Dairy Month.

    This weekend found me free of both classwork and HTML gigs, so my answer was to mostly be a vegetable, aside from a few commitments here and there and great workouts both Saturday and Sunday. Went way the hell out to Reston, VA on Saturday for a post-baby shower/barbeque thing for a fellow Peace Corps volunteer friend of mine. It was good to see the local DC returned volunteers, and I was surprised they had a party at all as most new parents tend to withdraw for some time. Saturday night I went out to the Eagle for a few with Bob, but didn't stay too long as Reston had sucked much of my lifeforce out of me.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:51 PM

    July 16, 2004

    who were you before you were gay?

    Yesterday I came across a thoughtful Waremouse blog entry that touched on something I had been thinking about alot recently. The 'mouse asks "Who were you before you were gay?" It's a good question for any urbanized gay man. Prepare for a ramble, and I make some generalizations. Of course I'm not talking about you, I only talk about me on this site.

    In a lot of cases ghettoized gay men will shed a lot of traits we held before we came out in favor of traits held commonly by a community. We all like a sense of community, it makes us feel secure. We seek commonalities amongst each other. When everyone else is doing it, we'll tend to do it too. Sometimes we've possessed some of these traits for a long time, such as an obsession with Olivia Newton-John or a love for show tunes. Other times we pick up traits as we go along, often to the point of over-affectation.

    (I have a theory that the bitterest queens are the ones who sold out most of what they used to be in lieu of becoming something they are not. They don't know why they are bitter, but getting back in touch with some of the things they used to do to might make them happier.)

    As we develop our gay identities we might find out that we've lost a significant and valuable portion of ourselves in the quest to integrate into our exciting new gay culture. These days I go out to clubs, mostly hang around with gay people, and do a great many gay things. I don't regret this at all. I have always loved dancing and socializing. I like connecting and moving amongst people.

    But things were a bit different back inna day for jimbo. I hung out with people that eventually became ferriers, wildlife managers, organic beef farmers and crunchy urban planners. Today I live in a dirty city and work with computers all day, just so I can be amongst purportedly well-adjusted, well-traveled, educated gay men.

    It's a trade-off. Back in the Midwest, while the scenery was great and the pace more tranquil, the gay men I met were closeted, scared, married and generally unhappy. I didn't want to become a damaged, scared, hiding person, so I moved to the city, which is basically a big wildlife preserve for queers. It's a safe, affirming environment as most of our straight peers are understanding and intelligent. Here we don't get hassled much, and we don't have to struggle against an overwhelming hetero assumption. But it's still hiding in a way too.

    This week I've been corresponding with this woofy daddy from Western Minnesota. He's been working for the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service for over 25 years. What moved me about his background was that he is what I could be, or once was. But he chose to remain in a rural environment, which has a cost of its own. He doesn't meet an awful lot of other outdoorsy guys nearby, but has an incredible work environment doing what he loves.

    I'm not glorifying the hypermasculine fantasy lifestyle here, or discounting the urban gay scene. I guess I'm saying that lately I've been reminded of other ways to live my life, ways that are still possible. I've also been disillusioned with DC. It is a dirty city. When I visited NYC a month ago even the most ghetto parts of Brooklyn were cleaner. It's hot and expensive too, and I don't think I'm on the same frequency with the new residents of the city.

    One of my goals in moving here was to develop my sexuality and expose myself to relationship potential. The former has been developed in force, and all I have to show for the latter part of that goal was a fucked-up relationship of 3 years. But it was something I learned from, and showed me things I won't fall for again, which I guess met my goal albeit not in the fashion I would have liked.

    But I've been bored with the gay scene lately. I'm feeling confident I no longer depend on it. But would I miss it if it wasn't there? Am I really independent from it? It's hard to tell, but I think I will keep my eyes open for other places to live once I get this graduate degree worked through. In a few years I may be overdue for a location change to see who I am in another place. Right now I'm very appreciative of the experience I'm getting from this job, which will be a resource that will make a future move a bit easier. But where to? Who knows, but it will be a new adventure.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:44 AM | Comments (6)

    July 9, 2004

    jimbo's solution to the FMA

    The big vote on the Federal Marriage Amendment could happen next week. To me its not about the wedding, its about the bennies and the legal rights. Have you ever helped friends with a wedding? Its hell and quite expensive to boot. My ceremony (Ha! If ever) will be short, sweet, with a big dance party afterwards and plenty of booze. And lets not forget the gift registry

    I digress. These are scary times for queers. And I dont care that people are saying this vote is not likely to passthe fact that it is up for a vote is scary enough, isnt it? But at least it has fired up discussion and awareness in this nation. But in this entry I want to talk about where us queers fucked upwhy I think this issue is up for a vote in the first place. Please READ rather than skim, or dont read it at all this time, please - especially before commenting.

    Having just finished my Intercultural Communication class, I had my cultural radar scanners set on High last weekend when I was home in Wisconsin. In addition to spotting distinct Midwestern cultural indicators such as batterfried cheese curds and aggressive friendliness, I was also on the lookout for differences in political views and tolerance.

    My middle brother had invited me and my oldest brother to a pool party. I sat around drinking beer and doing my best to adapt to this parallel cultural scene, but mostly watched and listened in prime wallflower fashion. The gathering consisted of the beautiful people of the LaCrosse area: successful, young, good looking Midwesterners, who represent the slice of the reality that exists between the east and west coasts. Topics of discussion mostly centered around coupling, divorcing, child rearing, singles life and scheduling the next beer drinking social event. Queers talk about similar things: tricking, breaking up, adoptee rearing, remodeling the home and scheduling the next cocktail hour.

    But thats where the similarities ended. After some thought I realized that while we all talk about the same issues, the lives of straight middle America and that of urban white queers are very different. We travel more, we spend more and we are exposed to more friction and mild hardships that these people never experience. The totality of our experiences are very different than that of the typical Midwest hetero couple. Not better, just very different.

    We often get riled up and angry about the mean things conservatives and uptight religious leaders say about us. They say nasty things about us, we react and say mean things about them, ad nauseum. Both of us get ulcers and hemorrhoids about it all. The 5% on the left is screaming at the other 5% on the right, who screams back in response.

    The 90% in the middle couldnt really give a shit. Our lives are not on their radar, and vice verse. Its not an issue of malice with the majority of Americans, its pure indifference and complete lack of awareness. Not excusable indifference, but it exists nonetheless. When they see a 5 second news blip on the nightly news about gay protests in San Francisco or New York, they have a momentary thought that Those queers are mad about something again, and "Tee hee - two men getting married, isn't that cute?" and thats the end of it. They think we want marriages, but miss the part about the rights they get with a union which they take for granted.

    So what can we do about it? What can we do to get the rest of America to understand that wed like binding contracts after marriage, the ability to visit a loved one in the hospital, and mutual life and health insurance coverage? I propose that while we listen to what the right is saying, just keep note of it, but spend our energies sharing our lives and the facts of what we really need to be equal in our pursuit of happiness and legal equality. The rest is all just screaming and a big politcal game for votes, until the next threat du jour. Spend your time sharing three to five talking points about what we are asking for with someone you know who does not live in the gay ghetto. Diplomatically share your life experience as a same-sex couple with your family, straight friends and coworkers. Its a public relations and marketing plan, pure and simple. I know it may be very toe-the-line HRC in the approach, but I think its the solution.

    Somewhere our message is not getting to the rest of America, as they really have no idea and do not think very much about what kind of things we are asking for. Our message does not sell papers or television ad spots, so we have to do the marketing ourselves, person by person. Our community and their community must find a commonality, which is equal benefits for everyone.

    Imagine and army of succinct gays and lesbians who are sharing their needs in a straightforward manner with their families and friends back home, instead of screaming and gnashing about another small but equally vocal opposition force. This requires that you be out and knowledgeable about the issues at hand, and that you deliver it with civility. Progress may be slow, but step-by-step I really believe we will get somewhere with this approach. Reason and truth will overcome illusion and fear in the end.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:33 PM | Comments (17)

    June 23, 2004

    that was so gay

    On such little sleep I'm reluctant to start an entry about last night, but everyone else has, so here goes...pardon the bland tone, as it was much more fun than I write it, but again, I'm going on little sleep here...

    Tuesday morning started out auspicously, as I hopped on the Metro with none other than His Royal Pimpness all the way to my endpoint. It turns out he goes to work at the same station I do, but a little later it seems. Chrisafer showed up down to the wire, causing me much distress. I gotta fill her in about my pre-trip anxiety I get wether its boat, bus, plane or skateboard. Our bus driver looked like Count Chocula, complete with fangs and a funky hairdo. We were forced to watch the uber-awful whitewater river guide movie with Meryl Streep and Kevin Bacon, topped off by an even worse 'Average Joe' with that annoying actor from Home Improvement.

    Upon arrival we went our separate ways. I wandered into a bar called Nowhere, and sat down to do some pre-performance prepping and homework for class. Met up with Kiri for a nice dinner and then went to the performance space for the show.

    I met and re-met a bajillion bloggers, and excitement was in the air. Finally got to meet Addaboy and Crash too, and said hello to Sam and the Neurotic Jew. In the audience I spotted a certain adorkable rugby friend from a while back who just wrote a piece about gay rugby in the Village Voice. And props to the mysterious hottie who is some kind of Coca-Cola product tester.

    photo courtesy of SparkyAll the performances were lovely and of various topics, but all very gay. I thought Bob had beaten me to the punch with his piece on drag, but since nobody wiped out in his story, it was OK. Blogdaddy Sparky revealed the secret homoeroticism of G.I. Joe and comic book heroes. It was hard to keep up with all of Charlie's gay references, but he was fun nonetheless. Kythryne and Kiri's pieces were more sobering but a requisite addition to the trials of gayness. Musical performances by Faustus and The Hazzards' performance of 'Gay Boyfriend' topped off the set.

    The best part of it for me was the boundless creative energy all over the place and with each piece, a feeling you rarely get in Washington, DC. Talent and performance is the meat and drink of New York, as opposed to our policy and politics of DC. It was a refreshing experience that I need to get more often. As for speaking, I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would have been, but the beers I was swilling before I was on may have helped. I guess it was a funny tale to tell as the audience (view from my side of the stage, more moi, yet more moi) was laughing a lot. I wish I had some kind of napkin or rag to wipe up my sweat off the podium though, as there was about as much as you'd find if I were on the stairmaster at the gym.

    And I didn't get lost once on the subway system. The signage was easy to interpret, and I tried to select random people each time I needed directions. And no one was rude. That is such a stereotype of New York people. On the street, in the bar and in the performance space, I didn't feel one neg vibe the whole day.

    Later on many of us went out for drinks after the show. Sydney and Anne of the Ukes of Hazzard were a riot to chat with over cupcakes. I also met Cowsinthebarn, girl NYC and I think Tin Man finally as well. Props out to the Virginia cutie Ryan, Andy's assistant at P.S. 122.

    I crawled home to Dyke Slope in Brooklyn with Chris and Kiri. Got on the bus in time and was soon joined by a groggy Chrisafer. Additional cinematic punishment on the bus was provided by the film 'Like Mike.'

    What I read for the show is linked below:


    In DC every year about a week before Halloween the gay bars along 17th Street hold an annual high heel drag race. Queens from all walks of life get tipsy with a few cocktails and dress up for the evening, from hardcore Renaissance court dresses replete with powdered wigs, coordinated team efforts displaying every ceremonial dress Natalie Portman ever wore in Star Wars Episode I, to low-maintenance unshaven skank drag. The drag queens parade up and down the street before the race, then line up for a 100m sprint which lasts no more than two minutes of pure transvestite joy. Its something that started on a lark but eventually evolved into a neighborhood event where even now the mayor shows up as race marshal.

    The first year I tried it in 1997 I was working at the U.S. Department of Agriculture coordinating ag training exchange tours for visitors from the former Soviet Union. I didnt have a dress handy and had never done drag before, so my only resource was my female coworkers. My lesbian friends were of no help. I asked the coworkers to bring in their tackiest dresses they never wanted to wear again. One afternoon after work I modeled the dresses for a discriminating panel of Federal Government workers. We decided on the firetruck red cocktail dress, which I later had altered to include gaudy silk frills of white, yellow and red. Add a red wig to the ensemble, a 1/4 layer of makeup, and matching size 13 pumps from Payless, and I was ready to run as the spicy Latina Ms. Salsa Juarez.

    Salsa somehow managed to get second in the race after a three-queen pile-up ahead of her took out much of the lead pack. The bitch who won had stiff-armed one of the competitors, which led to the wipe-out. With a graceful leap over the casualties I crossed the line to win a $50 bar tab at JRs Bar. I was proud of my accomplishment, and it was interesting to see the reactions on some of my friends faces who didnt expect me to do drag. Even some of my most tolerant friends were shocked that I would do such a thing. I think its something that every guy should try, even the straight ones, as you learn what a pain heels, makeup and dresses are. I often bring up the issue with potential dates as a litmus test. If hes got a problem with Salsa, then hell have a problem with me. I like to fuck with gender, as people, even the gay ones, have far too many issues with gender assignment and roles.

    Im proud to note that a news clipping of Salsa from the Washington Blade is still proudly posted above the photocopy machine at my former office at the USDA headquarters. Below the clipping is a handwritten caption reading, Former Employee.

    I went out for the race another year just for fun with my friend Jon and got to prance up and down the street, and half-heartedly ran with the pack down 17TH Street again without really trying. But it wasnt as rewarding as the thrill of victory I experienced the first time. I wanted to win. And I wanted to see if that bitch who kept winning every year could try a stiff-arm on ME. By then I had joined the mostly gay Washington Renegades Rugby team and had learned a thing or two on how to manage the offense while sprinting, and wanted to see if I could manage the wax-on, wax-off technique taught by Mr. Miyagi, which was also useful to rugby players when dealing with a stiff-arm.

    So in the fall of 2001 I began training for the next high heel drag race. Rugby practice had started in September with requisite tackle, sprint and cardio workouts. I was ready.

    The events of September 11 threatened to have the race cancelled, but by October people were ready for a distraction. The mood in DC was grim, and people were still reeling from the attacks on the Pentagon and the Twin Towers, and the anthrax threats in the mail. But the gay bars and the city managed to organize and got the event going, which was a good thing. By then people needed a laugh. I needed a laugh too, and I considered it good public service to deliver a few chuckles to everyone, if only for an evening.

    I encouraged all my friends to come, including the entire rugby team. I assured them I would win, and told them to position themselves early near the finish line, so they could witness my moment of victory.

    Of course I couldnt go again as Salsa Juarez. Everyone loves Salsa, but I wanted to try something new. I didnt have as many coworkers in my dress size at that time, so we got a friend of a friend to show up with all her big aunts most tacky and frumpy dresses. After some modeling, we decided on the pink satin bridesmaid dress with an open strapless back and a big pink bow just above my bum. The red wig didnt go with the pink, so we decided on curly blond. A fuzzy pink purse completed the look. She had a wholesome, Midwest look to her, and everyone commented on how much she looked like Nellie Olsen from Little House on the Prairie. So Nellie Olsen it was.

    The night of the race Nellie elbowed her way to the front of the pack in anticipation. Jon was nearby in scary goth drag, and I offered to hold his money and car keys in the pink fuzzy purse. I happened to realize that this wasnt the evening cocktail dress like Salsa wore, so Nellie had to hike up her dress to get the first strides that would assure victory.

    Now, bridesmaids dresses have this material underneath called crinoline. Crinoline helps the dress puff out to make it look flowing and elegant. No dress was made for sprinting events, and dresses with crinoline are even harder to run in, much less walk. When the whistle blew I extended my first stride, and in a second the heels got caught on the damned crinoline and I went flying face-first onto the asphalt.

    The wig flew off, purse went flying, its contents spread across the street, and there were more than a few heel tracks on my back and on the beautiful pink dress. I was tragic drag queen roadkill. Totally humiliated, I put on my skewed wig, and gathered the contents of the purse and headed to the finish line. I finished, but the majority of the drag queens were ahead of me. I dont even know who won. I got lots of crap from the rugby team, as two other teammates in nun outfits were some of the top finishers in the race. I was beaten by nuns.

    My friend Jon in scary goth drag caught up with me and asked me what happenedhe saw Nellie Olsens carcass on the street as he ran by, but just kept on going. We were ready to leave, and he asked for his car keys. I dug around in the pink fuzzy purse but couldnt find them. In the shock of the roadkill tragedy I must have missed them somehow.

    So I headed back towards the starting line. I found where I wiped out as there was a big pink skid mark of foundation and rouge on the street. People were still milling about as I scanned the asphalt for the keys. Then from out of nowhere this hot rugged-looking guy in hiking boots and flannel came up to me and started talking to me.

    He was just my type, Hey! Arent you Kevin? he said to me, I saw you perform in Rehoboth a few years ago. That was oddI never performed in drag at Rehoboth Beach.
    Ummmaybe you were thinking of someone else, I kept scanning the street for the car keys.
    No, no, Im sure it was you. Hey, Im Mike. Good to meet you.
    UmmIm Jim. Ive never performed in drag other than here though. It was starting to dawn upon me that this guy was clearly hot for Nellie Olsen. But I was focused on finding the keys so Jon and I could get home. My conversation with Mike continued, and he even helped me look for the keys, which we didnt find. Someone had turned them in at one of the bars and I got them the next day. It wasnt until I got home that night that I realized Mike was all hot for Jimbo in drag, but at the time I wasnt ready for it. I didnt manage to get his number either, which I still regret to this day. I like to fuck with gender, but aside from that and my failed racing career, thats about as far as Ill go with Salsa Juarez and Nellie Olsen.

    Posted by jimbo at 8:15 PM | Comments (18)