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September 20, 2007

extreme sub bottom fisting pink sashed fuscia hanky leather boy nutria/capybara seeks same ONLY!

I am about to make some generalizations that will probably get some people upset...

On an innertubing trip this summer I noticed something that kind of stuck in my mind the past couple of months. As all of us were waiting for the shuttle bus to take us to the river, I noted that the only people there with freaky ripped John Basedow abs were the other gay couple in line. The rest of the people registered at least some level of body fat. Eventually I wondered why some of us choose to live with such strict standards. How much time do those people spend running each week? Fat naturally deposits around the tummy, yet for too many people it is the percieved as THE indicator of absolute fitness. Lack of fat there has nothing to do with your cardiovascular fitness, but the gays seem to be obsessed with abs and the Apollo's Belt. I can run, tackle, hit and be hit for 80 minutes, yet I still have a little somethin' to grab around the waist (woof). But despite my true cardiovascular fitness, this is anathema to more than a few gays in tha gay ghetto.

And that's the problem - reaching such a difficult standard is impossible for some, so I think they give up and go 180 degrees in the other direction - the Bear Community - waay over at the other end of the spectrum. "If I can't be ripped I'm going to be obese instead, and stick it to those skinny queens!" Or some guys will go for the outrageously puffy 'roided out look (nice zits). At any point on this triangle, the gays always go overboard and to the extreme. Meanwhile the rest of society is somewhere in the middle.

nutriaAnd the same thing goes for leather or sex. You can't seem to be just have a kink you like to engage in from time to time, you have to be a Supreme Sub Bottom Boy Sex Pig Fistmaster 2002-2005 Mr. DC Overlord Heavily Invested in the Sash Community Purple Croc-Wearing Capybara/Nutria Indentured Servitude Slave leather gay person (looking for same ONLY!) - with a bar code. Sexual moderation seems to be a rarity as well. It's not enough to get it once every couple of weeks, some people feel insecure if they don't get it three times a week - or thrice daily for that matter. I think sometimes The Gays need to pop their head out of the 'hood for some perspective from time to time. I'm not saying straight is right, I'm saying moderation is the key in a lot of things. While life is changing with the predicton of a post-modern gay, we still tend to excessively pigeonhole and too often go to extremes. That is all. That is my opinion. Be moderate, be yourself, don't be a label or an image of what some magazine says you should be. And stop running/eating so much.

"Bitch, I Stole Your Purse," by Wendy the Ho.

Charlene wouldn't put up with that crap.

"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" is now scheduled for May 7, 2010. Production will begin next summer, instead of January. The second film in the franchise, "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian," is scheduled to open May 16.
Sadly, we won't see the return of the delicious villian Jadis, played by TILDA, TILDA, TILDA Swinton, until a couple of prequels later. As I recall we learn about her origin in one of the books about teleporting pools, I forget which book. My favorite in the series was Voyage of the Dawn Treader for some reason. I was bored to tears with the Silver Chair.

Posted by jimbo at September 20, 2007 12:16 PM


I'm with you... I like a little something to grab onto. Rippled abs look unhealthy.

The "looking for same only" comment made me giggle.

Posted by: chrisb at September 20, 2007 3:21 PM

Well, it's the extreme people who always have to tell you about it. Whereas most are in so-so shape and want to be fitter but don't get around to it, like plain old sex but react to a few kinds with "oh my! well OK!" and never feel compelled to run for Int'l Mr Bear Leather and get a sash and give a speech about how their fetsh for water sports when performed in a black tiled bathroom with three cats watching (but no dogs) has inspired them to give back to the community.

On a slightly related note, I got a chatty email from a friend; I had written to him and said, "It's been a while, what's up, I got a puppy!" and he wrote back "We're great, nice to hear from you, we got a slave!"

I thought, jeez, and I thought a puppy required lots of attention.

Posted by: John at September 20, 2007 3:22 PM

I found a family of Nutria down our Industrial Park one day when I was 21. I "rescued" them. Their fur was icky slick. I tried to bathe them and use a hairdryer to wash the oily-fur. They kind of stunk with body odor. Their fur was still oily. I remember the creatures were VERY docile. I didn't get bit once. You'd think they were domesticated animals!

Posted by: brettcajun at September 20, 2007 3:24 PM

Jimbo, it was my understanding that they were only producing 5 of the 7 books of the CofN. Which would leave out "The Macigian's Nephew" ( the one with Jadis, a prequel to all the rest) and "The Horse and His Boy" (which takes place during the reign of Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy in a different country than Narnia).

Posted by: Chad at September 20, 2007 4:00 PM

Jadis makes her grand entry in The Magician's Nephew.

Posted by: Patrick at September 20, 2007 4:17 PM

Regular guy here, looking for same only.

I know, we're pretty darn silly, as a people.

Posted by: Mark at September 20, 2007 4:43 PM

I tried to read the entire series but coudn't get past "The Magician's Nephew" (the one with Jadis and the pools), but always enjoyed TLWW. Guess I need to try again.

Speaking of British actresses in cool rolls, Cate Blanchette is back as QEI. When was the last time we got a sequel to a historical piece?

Posted by: Boo Augustus at September 20, 2007 5:46 PM

But "The Magician's Nephew" is the best one! (then again, I am a sucker for origin stories.)

Tilda may show up in "The Silver Chair", though; Lewis never quite made it clear that the White Witch and the Lady of the Green Kirtle were different women, and per Wikipedia the same actress played both Jadis and the LotGK in BBC Television adaptations.

Posted by: jeem at September 20, 2007 5:55 PM

Very well said. We tend to get so locked into labels and extremes we loose sight of the distinctions.

Posted by: moby at September 20, 2007 7:27 PM

Don't contact me unless you are at least 40 years older than me. Sorry, no musc, no masc. I only answer headless photo profiles! Deaf and dumb only, no exceptions!

Posted by: homer at September 20, 2007 8:21 PM

Ever heard the term 'Condom full of walnuts'? They are as they sound - unattractive.

I think guys look better when they're not twitching with veins and muscles that don't have anotomical names yet. Rugby guys in general (at least Aussie ones) tend to have body fat. I think they're all the hotter for it.

You're so on the mark with this- Canberra has a rather small gay community, and believe me when I say they are all completely determined to find a guy that matches their Gaydar profile exactly.

It is incredibly sad.

Posted by: Grant at September 20, 2007 8:23 PM

I agree...John Basedow scares me. Something not right with his head to body size ratio.

Posted by: Weatherwoof at September 20, 2007 11:20 PM

Mike: John Basedow is going to get you when you're sleeping and suck the body fat out of you. And you'll wake up looking like a meth addict - but without the meth.

Posted by: jimbo at September 21, 2007 12:16 AM

First: I much prefer stamina with a bit to hold onto than skinny-ripped and out of breath.

Second: I ALSO used "anathema" in my blog yesterday. Completely independently as I didn't read this post until today!

Third: I think I'm now officially in love with you.

Posted by: cb at September 21, 2007 10:10 AM

I think Moderation works in HR with Emotional Intimacy and Committment. And you KNOW what HR is like.

Posted by: Gay Canuck in the Capital at September 21, 2007 11:03 AM

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