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August 22, 2007

fraud, she wrote

A new fake blogger has been ratted out, or maybe he's just another avatar of the Bent Collective. Thankfully, there's detectives Matlock, Magnum, and Angela Lansbury on the case, among other contributors to the investigation.
Real bloggers who put their real lives out there aren't asking for much in return, so when they come upon a wierdo with a fake blog and multiple fake personae, they get more upset than usual. Especially when semicolons are abused so badly and the guy claims to have a writing degree. Poor TJ crawls into a corner and shivers when he sees semicolons abused so much. He's been a wreck for weeks.

To those who write the truth, lies are intolerable. It's sad, but there's a lot of room for deceit on the Internet, and there are many who take full advantage of that opportunity, and full advantage of people's trust and time.

The biggest mistake that many fakes make is that they think the Internet is wholly anonymous, a vast ocean where they can hide an identity or two and not get found out. Well, the Internet is more like an ocean with buoys and efficient sonar/radar systems. Even my mom can do a pretty thorough Google search. And there's good 'ol word of mouth to help things add up to nothing.

So when you're messing with people who should be private investigators, or those who have access to detailed historic and mortality data, you're gonna get found out. All I had to do was compare notes with a few people in person to start smelling a rat. Real people don't sit behind a computer all day, they meet up, and they talk.

Real people don't spontaneously emerge from the ether with no reference point, and real lives don't have that much drama. Death and crime records can be located, band information is out there (did you play the tambourine, "Steve"?), and legal processes tend to follow the same procedures, no matter what the crime.

But most of all, when you abuse semicolons, people will get upset.

Posted by jimbo at August 22, 2007 9:31 AM


Gawd! This is better than TV!

Posted by: brettcajun at August 22, 2007 10:26 AM

I'm automatically suspicious of anyone who uses the word "blogbuds."

But I have no idea what's going on.

Posted by: chrisb at August 22, 2007 10:45 AM

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm real.

Posted by: moby at August 22, 2007 1:29 PM

The tilt of the head in Angela Lansbury's picture mirroring the tilt of the head in your picture is priceless.

Posted by: DougT at August 22, 2007 1:34 PM

Jimbo -

Thanks for clearing this up...I was a little confused after reading TJ's post today.

Posted by: Boomer at August 22, 2007 2:20 PM

Yay! Great work guys! I knew something was rotten about that egg and his other egg personae as well. Glad I could contribute to the investigation in my own small way.

Posted by: Bubala at August 22, 2007 3:19 PM

This is so crazy, I can't believe someone is that boring and bored.

Posted by: Patrick at August 22, 2007 4:46 PM

Whew...finally figured this all out. Whatever happened to making friends and being popular in person? This is too weird for me.

Posted by: Weatherwoof at August 22, 2007 5:30 PM

yea, the word "blogbuds" gave it away....who says that? After reading all the posts about this it's clear this guy is a fake and thrives on the attention. So sad.

Posted by: Archerr at August 22, 2007 9:35 PM

I don't know nuthin' 'bout nuthin' when it comes to this apparently-fabricatious (look -- even *I'm* making stuff up!) blogger whom I never read. But I do know that if you are going to be parallel, then you should refer to "Matlock, Magnum P.I. and JESSICA FLETCHER" cracking this case. Or, conversely, to "Andy Griffith (fag), Tom Selleck (queer) and Angela Lansbury (hag)."

Sorry to be such a pedant. The editor in me got all excited by your critique of said blogger's semicolon abuse. As opposed to colon abuse, which I assume neither you nor T.J. would ever criticize. ;-)

Posted by: Rob at August 23, 2007 9:29 AM

"I’m; the person; you don’t; want to; mess with.

I’m 52, a bear, and; will be; at Blowoff."

I can't stop laughing. Classic.

Posted by: johnny at August 23, 2007 11:49 AM

I want you to know that I'm a figment of your imagination. Just so we're clear on that.

Posted by: Jeffrey at August 23, 2007 1:31 PM

I've gotten a higher-than-usual number of hits on my blog which link back to the whole "Steve O'Brien" thing, including one from moby which rips me a new one and blames me for everything.

Jimbo, I'm sure you don't need advice, but for completeness let me just offer one word of advice: "Duck!"

Posted by: God of Biscuits at August 23, 2007 4:54 PM

"I’m; the person; you don’t; want to; mess with.
I’m 52, a bear, and; will be; at Blowoff."

It's gonna be like West Side Story, Jets vs. the Sharks, except with better coreography.

Posted by: jimbo at August 23, 2007 6:29 PM

Bearia!!!! I once knew a bear named...Beariiiiia!


Posted by: God of Biscuits at August 23, 2007 6:38 PM

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