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July 31, 2007

Declaration of Rugby Dependence

Ben Cohen
OK bitches: time for you to come out of the woodwork. Rugby is starting up again for a packed fall season, and the more who join the team, the better the practices, and the more we win. Plus, where the 'mos at?

While my team started out as mostly-gay, one day we realized that there are only so many 'mos who are willing to play rugby in one city. So we expanded our recruitment efforts throughout the 'hood to get more players. But I've noticed a drop in the number of homo teammates this season. Just an FYI: we are still accepting people who are new to the sport or those with skills transferrable from other sports. Tonight we had a former football player and a former college cheerleader. Both guys have a lot to learn, but they both have unique insight that they can bring to the team. So do you.

The team dynamics have changed over the years, and the emphasis has focused more on winning - which we have been doing a lot more of lately. And it's been fun. And rugby is a great way to stay in shape, and a hell of a lot more interesting than the treadmill at the gym.

It takes a while to get the hang of the sport. It's a lot more complicated than it looks from the sidelines. It took me a couple of years to gain confidence on the field. I have my good days and not so good days. But it's the challenge of getting over those issues and learning new skills that still appeals to me, even 7 years into the sport. I'm still learning new techniques and skills all the time.

And while you'll eventually get over stuffing your head in between sweaty men's asses, it does have its appeal:
Number 8

Come and check us out. Practices are Tuesdays and Thursdays at Stead Field, behind JR's on P Street, N.W. (between 16th and 17th streets). Matches are nearly every Saturday beginning in September through mid-November.

Posted by jimbo at 10:26 PM | Comments (10)

July 30, 2007

Monday Reminders

In case I forgot to mention: Paul Rudd is dreamy:
Paul Rudd is Dreamy
If I haven't told you before, I've declared war on varmints. Say hello to my little friend Victor:
Rat Trap
There was another incursion into 'The Pond' out front this weekend with some kind of critter frolicking to and from each body of water, again overturning the lily pads. So I'm introducing them to my little friend Victor. IT IS ON, MOTHAFOKKAS!!! BRING IT!!! I wasn't surprised to see that the active ingredients in mammal repellant are indeed urea (pee) and garlic oil. So my peeing to mark territory theory was not a crackpot idea - just a cheaper option. I'll have to start making more garlic pesto dinners from here on out...
The Pond
Shown above is 'The Pond' out in front. The plants you see are hardy water hyacinths and robust irises. You can't see any zen lily pads because they've been destroyed by the varmints. I think I'm just going to have to give up on the lily pads. They've been overturned 5 times too many and now have no leaves. The remaining shoots struggle to survive. Fucking varmints!
The Tub
Shown above is 'The Tub'. Note the muddy lip of the tub showing that some critter was going in and out of it at his/her liesure.

I wondered why this was bothering me so much over the weekend. While I would one day like to see a lily flower, I'm resigned to the fact that it's just another thing that you can't do in the city. I eventually realized that what bugs me the most about it the most is that I don't know who or what is doing it. As a former park ranger and current naturalist by hobby with a background in biology and wildlife study, I should know this sort of thing. That's why it bugs me so much. I am mostly offended by the mystery of it all.

I had a nice weekend. I geeked out on City of Heroes with upstairs Sean an awful lot, who hosted a lovely brunch on Saturday. I went to Nellie's for the first time on Saturday, and while the bartenders need to speed it up a bit, I liked the space, especially the 3rd floor deck. And there were many, many people there I've never seen before in DC. I knew it was going to fill a much-needed niche for a particular segment of the gays in DC - clearly the "kickin' back with a brew and my masc/musc/mil buds" now have a place to go. The other Sean returned from Fire Island and reports having had a good time, but I've never seen a Skwurl so tired...

Two new hottie dogwalkers identified and named this weekend: 'Silverback' kind of looks like a compact, muscular Anderson Cooper. He walks a multi-colored blue tick hound. He has nice shoulders and spiffy clothes. Then there's Air Force Jack Russell Terrier Guy, who's kinda lean and buzzcut. That brings the hottie street count census of hottie dogwalkers in Shaw to at least 8, and that's not counting shirtless runners-by. Have I reminded you that Shaw is where it's at?

Have I also mentioned that the Green Line Sux Donkey Dix? It's apparently toxic donkey dix too. Oh, that's fine, just allow your contractors to apply bird poison during business hours. I suppose it would knock off some tourist's toddler. And don't mind the dead bird carcasses. We'll just think it's West Nile and be fine with it.

Posted by jimbo at 10:50 AM | Comments (13)

July 27, 2007

Friday Sheep Miscellany

The Wonder Bread FactoryAdditional evidence that Shaw Is Where It's At: fun DC DJ and club owner (Tracks, Nation) Ed Bailey has announced plans to open a new gay dance club in Shaw. Will it be in the Wonder Bread factory near the North exit of the Shaw/Howard MetroRail station off the Sux Donkey Dix Green Line at 7th & S Streets?

While I wouldn't want to be a neighbor with the thrumming 132 beats-per-minute late into Sunday morning, The Gays in DC are in dire need of additional habitat, and it would be nice to have a club to be able to walk to. Please, do your part to help The Gays restore gay habitat in DC. Says Ed:

"It is a large-scale dance club and it's conveniently located in the Cardozo/Shaw neighborhood of Northwest D.C. We are doing our diligence to get everything in order and get everything finalized and officially stamped."

Update: my sources tell me it's not the Wonder Bread Factory, which is too bad. I was hoping for primary color polka-dot decor. And of course I know it's not Nellie's. To quote Nellie's proprietor: "Duh."

Mystery solved: dreamboat guy with dimples in black shirt is this blogger. Match the dimples and wish him a happy birthday. Cute, and he likes Star Trek too. That's totally hot.

As if standing next to a person who is text messaging wasn't boring enough, we can now document our mundane texting online on this thingy called Twitter. All the bears are doing it, OMG.

Skwurl is going away to Fire Island this weekend for the first time ever. Those bitches are gonna tear him apart. To celebrate his debut, we watched a bad copy of Black Sheep, since they're never gonna release that film in the U.S. We followed the screening with a shearing so the Fire Island sheep don't freak out at his back fur. I cried when I clipped it off, but the debutante had to be shorn.

Posted by jimbo at 10:32 AM | Comments (13)

July 26, 2007

OMG my picture is in MW

Commentary on some pictures from the Saturday, July 14, 2007 Blowoff by Ward Morrison:

  • Wanton whores. Why is TJ hiding?
  • Somebody call Bob Geldof for some famine relief.
  • I'm delighted that Vogueing is popular again with the kids these days.
  • Hello. Dreamboat in the black shirt.
  • Wurfy guy from NC & Andrew

    It was fun. I wish I remembered more of it.

    Thank you everyone who sent me the link to the naked rugger movie that shows all these hot guy's penises and everything. No, it's not work safe, and no, people on our team don't run around naked like that. DC is all about propriety. I don't mind cooling my balls off in the wind after practice, but EVERYBODY, homos and straights alike, freak out when I take my clothes off. It's like they think my penis will engorge and start attacking when exposed to the air. I don't consider myself a nudist, because it's all about cooling my balls off, but I guess I'm more comfortable being naked than most people. I just want to cool my balls off, is that so much to ask?

    Posted by jimbo at 1:32 PM | Comments (9)

    July 25, 2007

    an accident-prone young lad

    wipeout - some time in the late '70s
    Mom just sent me this scan of a photo taken when I was a wee jimbo some time in the late 1970s. Here I am keepin' it real, again, in my rose-colored hoodie back inna day. The photo was taken after I wiped out on my bike, landing on my face. Check out that goose egg! Later on I would become nauseous and vomit - I clearly had a concussion.

    It's really amazing I'm still so beautiful after all these injuries. I think my Constitution score exceeds 14 at least.

    Moments before the accident I was on my Schwinn 10-speed racing madly to visit a friend who had just purchased the Magnavox Odyssey. While he was the first on the block to get a home video game system, I trumped it with a Commodore 64 unit, and trumped his shitty Atari 2600 with a Colecovision. Both systems were better. My favorite game on the '64 was of course The Bard's Tale, which I played for untold hours as I played 'Sign 'o the Times' on the boombox over and over again. On the Colecovision, Ladybug was remarkably playable and provided days and days of Ms. Pac-Man knockoff fun.

    I eventually gave up on home systems somewhere between Sega and N64. Why buy a new home system when they only make less than a dozen games for each system? The disposable tech idea is stoopid. I'll stick with my PC MMORPG and strategy games these days, like City of Heroes (which just keeps getting BETTER) and Civilization IV, which has me like a crack addiction.

    And what the fuck was up with the film Black Sheep appearing in the States for a few mere milliseconds? The movie coulda been huge! I wanted to see it in the theatres, but it came and went without my notice. Stoopid movie promoters.

    Posted by jimbo at 5:36 PM | Comments (16)

    July 24, 2007

    OMG Contaminated Shoes

    This is me at work:
    Karen Silkwood Contamination
    Last Friday we received an expected package with some broken insturmentation inside which was leaking a wee bit 'o mercury all over the place. The recipients of the package came to our office to pick it up, and sorta dribbled the shiny stuff all the way down to their lab. When I heard the words "mercury spill" I got the frack outta there in a flash.

    Wasn't Kurt Russell a total hottie back in 1983?
    Meryl Streep, Kurt Russel & Cher
    OMG Cher. I'm not brain damaged from the mercury, it's just Gay Attention-Deficit Disorder (Gay-D.D.).

    Anyway, they finally get around to testing for the stuff today, and the sandals I wore are Hg-positive! I'm gonna get all Karen Silkwood on their asses! My shoes emit 0.072 mg/m3 particles of mercury into the surrounding atmosphere. Not enough to kill anyone, but it was recommended that I put the sandals and the bag I carried them in on the roof to bake in the sun and blow in the wind for a while until the substance sublimates away. I should be fine, but now I'm socially contaminated because I have to wear my old pair of Tevas. Some would say I'm worse off now than if I were wearing my newer, but chemically contaminated pair of sandals.
    Hg-Mercury

    Posted by jimbo at 11:52 AM | Comments (14)

    July 22, 2007

    Fear My + 3 Upright Vacuum of Dust Smiting

    Cleaning Day 3
    My +3 Eureka bagless named 'DustSmiter', with detachable, extendable duster.

    I needed some updated shirtless pics for my Manhunt account, but got carried away with the camera and vacuum cleaner instead. I kept thinking the photos needed a subject or a prop. Posing with vacuum is just as silly as any pursing profile pic pose I guess. I was going for that Boris Vallejo look. I'm never going to get laid again, but might be able to pick up some housecleaning gigs.

    5892BVZ Eureka Boss 4D Upright Vac - Yellow/Black, $171.99.

    Features:

  • Power Paw™ with Riser Visor®
  • Telescopic Self-Cleaning Duster
  • Bagless Cyclonic System
  • True HEPA Sealed Filter
  • Electronic Brushroll On/Off

    The weather has been fantastic this weekend, dry and in the mid-80s - most unusual for DC in July. Lovely time to walk or bike around.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:30 PM | Comments (23)

    July 21, 2007

    Once More, With Feeling

    Once more, with feeling"The Buffy Musical Big Screen Interactive Extravaganza" at the Avalon Theatre tonight was a lot of fun. Buffy fans have needed an excuse to get together for a while since the show ended. The crowd consisted mainly of Rennaissance Faire chicks, lesbian couples, a sprinkling of gay men, and the requisite goth sci-fi guys in trenchcoats. (Listen to the NPR Talk of the Nation interview)

    While musical episodes are usually the deathknell of any series, the 2001 episode entitled "Once More, With Feeling," was truly inspired. While it's clear only a few of the main characters had much vocal experience, they were trying hard, which is also why I liked Xanadu so much. It's not about the quality, it's about the delivery. The song lyrics were integrated well into that season's plot.

    The screening was an audience-participatory experience a lot like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, with helpful subtitle lyrics and a program for suggested behavior during certain scenes. I could have done without that part, and it would have been cool to view the episode with higher definition rather than served from a laptop. These days we have the technology - howabout wide-screen or an Imax version with surround sound?

    Anyway, next time remind me to avoid having the franks 'n beans plate with sauerkraut washed down with a vanilla shake beforehand at the diner. It's a bad combination for the lactose-intolerant, but perhaps it helped add some special effects for the show when the demon was banished in a puff of brimstone.

    According to the show's promoter, they will return to the Avalon on November 15 & 16, if I heard correctly. Despite it being the eve of the new Harry Potter release, the show was sold out faster than any city's screening.

    Posted by jimbo at 1:35 AM | Comments (5)

    July 20, 2007

    Shaw: a bit Easterly of where one should go

    The other day I was messaging someone on Friendster, and after I mentioned where I live, I got this response:

    "...4th and T is a bit Easterly of where I go usually. Nice over here?"

    Miss In Shaw as Auntie EntityYes, it's nice, you fucking douche bag. My neighbor is Mad Max and he lives in a rowhouse next door with Auntie Entity and MasterBlaster. When I'm not dodging bullets or parrying knife thrusts, I'm sweeping a half-inch dusting of dime bags off my front sidewalk. Gangs drive down the sidewalk in modified baja vehicles equipped with flamethrowers on top, immolating everything and everyone in their path.

    The snobbery inherent in the guy's comment is not new - when I lived at 15th and Swann back in '99, many queens would not go east of 16th. And when I was at 5th and T I might as well have been living in Chernobyl.

    But lemme tell ya, bitches, Shaw is where it's at - for now at least. Puh-leez...17th Street was over and tired many years ago. Unless you enjoy getting your toes run over by baby strollers. The 14th and U area is also nice if you like living next door to completely unhip and mentally retarded Republican appointees (who still earns 5X what you do by virtue of being retarded because retarded is cool in that group).

    Anyway, Shaw is teeming with hot homos. I haven't seen this much prancing up and down the street since...well I don't remember when. We have already identified several neighborhood hotties:

    - Mowhawk Hottie - puts over the Rough Trade look very well. Sean is aswoon and has dibs on Mowhawk Hottie.
    - Shirtless Hottie Walking Black Dachshund - Never passes up on an opportunity to walk his dog sans shirt. We'll give that one to Skwurl.
    - Goatee Guy Walking Shaggy Black Lab: I'll take this one - haven't figured out where he lives though.

    Anyway, the previously mentioned snob can stay safely at home west of 14th street when we rock the 'hood with a houswarming party on August 11. If he came to our 'hood he just might get shot, stabbed, run over or mugged, or all of the above at the same time, I'm sure. It happens to us every day.

    Posted by jimbo at 12:12 PM | Comments (28)

    July 19, 2007

    The Mystery of the Malicious Moose

    mooseI think there's a moose running amok in Shaw. Since I moved in, at least once a week all the plants in my lily pond have been stirred up. The potted lillies are particularly fragile, as their leaves snap off every time this happens. They're not meant to be stirred up and now they only have 1 lily pad. And fewer leaves mean no flowers this season and perhaps none next season either. The plant has to build up nutrients to be able to produce a blossom, and weekly stirrings will prevent this from happening, which is the whole point of having a lily pond in the first place.

    At first I thought it was neighborhood kids or crackheads looking for something to sell - I've had mums ripped out of the garden before. But nothing is stolen, just upturned as if an Alaskan moose had stuck his head in the tub looking for tubers. But the tubers and fish are all accounted for. It's happened once a week now since I moved, and I have a list of suspects:

    - Kvetchy nervous neighbor Mr. Kravitz: Sometimes when I am late for work I see this skinny nervous looking guy inspecting everyone's yard. He strikes me as the type of guy to enforce neighborhood color standards or noxious weed laws. If your weeds are too long (by his standards) he uproots them and places them on your streetbox or on your sidewalk as if to send a message. I'm not the one he should be making a statement to, and if I catch him being passive-aggressive again I'm gonna smak that bitch upside the head. If you don't like my gardening, talk to me about it, or talk to my landlord - we can resolve this with open communication. Anyway, I don't think he's the culprit because there's no reason he should be sticking his head or hand in my nasty pondwater. It's been hours since I repotted the lilies and my arms still smell like I fisted the Yangtze River. He seems like like the type of person to be germ-phobic, and while I think he's obsessive-compulsive, I don't think he's malicious. I think you'll read more about this character in the future, but I don't think he's the Malicious Moose.

    - Sugar the Dog: We have a nice neighbor named Vinny the Watcher, who watches everything that goes on in our 'hood. He is a Watcher without a Slayer, biding his time by watching all that transpires on da street. He has a very friendly dog named Sugar who is as sweet as her name suggests. While sugar may be drinking from the pond, dogs don't stick their head in the water to drink, they just lap water. There is no evidence that anything large is going deep into the water either - Sugar hasn't been taking a dip. But I'll talk to Vinny to see if Sugar ever comes home soaking wet.

    - Crackheads: Again, nothing has been stolen. A crackhead could resell the water hyacinths and lily pad tubers, but nothing is missing, only upturned. Plus crackheads are chaotic, and not regular enough to do this on a weekly basis.

    - Dumb Kids: They also wouldn't stir up the tub on a weekly basis - if a kid was trying to catch the guppies or goldfish, they would have or would have given up.

    - Skwurl or Evil Sean, Upstairs Neighbors: While both be inherently evil, they are both clearly too busy eating bowls of sugar doused with coffee or tricking to mess around with my pond.

    The regularity of the pond upsets leads me to believe it is urban wildlife. Most animals have a weekly or daily 'range' or pattern of things they like to do. I'm guessing my pond and tub are being used for regular bathing and washing by raccoons or possums, both of which I've seen in DC, along with deer, peregrine falcons, and other critters you don't normally think would live in a city. Raccoons and possum live in the attics of vacant or lived-in buildings - they're just quiet in the day and only come out at night, which is why we don't see them too often.

    I have one trick up my sleeve that works with small mammals, which I once suggested to Don and Jim a few years ago, a trick that worked when I was in Peace Corps and owned a gravid female cat. Her suitors would come singing at my door when she was in heat. So one day I peed in the stairwell and the visiting Toms never came back. Don and Jim had baby rabbits that were falling into their pool. I told them to take a leak around the perimeter of their pool, and the rabbits would sense that it is human territory. Sure enough, it worked. I'll try it around the pond. And if it isn't varmints, I'll pee on the person who is doing it instead.

    Posted by jimbo at 6:00 PM | Comments (18)

    July 18, 2007

    necessary upgrades

    Be patient with this blog due to technical reasons - Webmistress Kiri upgraded the content management system because the weight of my crabby posts crashed the server yesterday. Yesterday's Mother-of-All-Rants was so great in it's angst that it burned out a router. I had removed the rant but then TJ asked politely to see it again and I can't say no to TJ.

    I heard two nice songs during Saturday's Blowoff track list: a remix of Level 42's 'Something About You' (lyrics, video, iTunes) and a newer fun song called 'City' by lo-fi fnk (iTunes). Jeez, that Level 42 song was on the radio my freshman year of high school (1985 and the following summer). 'City' has very cute lyrics that remind you of why the younger folk enjoy living in a big city.

    While we're flashing back, take a listen to 'Together In Electric Dreams' by Human League. Featured on the 1984 'Electric Dreams' soundtrack for the film of the same name, it's about forming digital relationships. The song still speaks volumes about making acquaintances online, which I probably do too much of. Edgar isn't always as fulfilling as the real thing.

    lineout symmetryNellie's Sports Bar finally opened this week at 9th and U after a long wait, and I hear it was packed with very cute people on Monday after the Night Out with the Nationals, people quite unlike the grimy ruffians depicted on their homepage. I took this picture that's also shown on the homepage, which I like a lot. The muddy one was taken by SuperStar Brettie.

    I am feeling much better this week - physically at least. I was running around with a lung/sinus infection for weeks, too absorbed with the move and setting up that I ignored it until it came to a head in NYC. It's amazing how you don't know how bad you felt until you're better. I gotta figure out a way to go camping somehow this summer. It's been too long.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:45 AM | Comments (10)

    July 17, 2007

    Easily Annoyed Tuesday

    All right, that's it - I'm instituting some order and eliminating some bullshit going on in the comments section by strictly enforcing the following house rules:

    - Be civil: if you wouldn't say it to my face, don't say it here;
    - Be concise: if you need to pontificate, get yer own blog - and for chrissake please use punctuation and good grammar;
    - Being contrary for contrariness' sake gets really, really annoying after a while. The kid who said, "Umm...excuse me but..." always got beat up in high school - for good reason. Could you try not to refute or be the omnicient expert on a particular topic all the frikkin' time? Once in a while could you just say "That's nice!" instead of having to one-up in a cerebral or trivia pissing contest?
    - Be thorough: reading is fundamental. Read the entire entry before flipping out over the first sentence. I write, you read - all of it.
    - Be real: no more anonymous comments, no more nicknames hidden behind cryptic e-mails, I don't care how flattering you are;
    - I won't link you because you ask me to. I will link you when you prove to be a consistent blogger. On that note, some of you bitches are a bit overdue on your entries...and missy, I de-linked you because you were retarded and stopped blogging - ('cough' 'boyfriend' 'cough' 'retarded' 'cough') - you can stick your tounge down my throat but you can't link my blog anymore?

    - I am also annoyed by bad behavior on Friendster - there's more than a few out there who don't give me a how-do-you-do to a message received but enjoy cruising my friends list when they're single and horny. A delinking is an easy remedy.

    - While I'm at it - don't ever expect me to politely introduce you to anyone ever again when you act like a dog. If I'm standing there talking to someone and introduce to to that person, I'm being polite. Impolite is when you flirt with the person I was talking to whom I just introduced you to. I might have been flirting with that person myself, and you're now causing static in what I was trying to accomplish. Next time check to make sure it's clear I'm not just talking to them. When you start flirting with someone I was trying to flirt with, you're pissing in my barnyard. If you insist on acting like a dog I will treat you like a dog from here on out. If you're not getting enough attention from your own relationship, deal with it there, but not at my expense.

    - I am still continually annoyed by shitty camera phone pics on Manhunt. Use a high-performance digital camera, dammit! I want to see pores, sores and follicles.

    I love the Washington Post Express 'Baggage Check' column. In today's article, we get some insight into a typical downtown DC workplace environment:

    "A good friend of mine recently committed suicide, and his suicide note scares me because the reasons detailed are eerily rational. Our friends are successful, young D.C. professionals who put their jobs before their own well-being. If I were to take time out to deal with mental health issues, my employers would likely frown upon my reduced productivity. The last time I had to deal with something related to this, I was laughed at by the HR director."

    In many workplaces downtown it is the norm to come in at 8am and leave at 8pm to "put in a good show" or to "bill those hours". Meanwhile they have no life and look like hell, and probably feel that way too. I took measures to avoid that crap - I need my Jimbo time, my geek time and my rugby time - it's called a balanced life, and you are the only one in control of that - not your tyrant boss, or what you think your tyrant boss thinks of you (which may not be true!). Work is something that pays the bills but should be enjoyed in moderation. I do know of workplaces where people are frequently fired after they come back from week-long vacations. Sick management, which also leads to sick workers - in mind, body or soul.

    I did not go to the Nationals Night Out last night. I hit the couch after the gym and did not get back up. Sometimes it's good to not have an appointment, which I certainly need less of these days.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:25 AM | Comments (14)

    July 16, 2007

    lesbian softball gangs invade Saturday Blowoff

    Will the fun ever end this summer? It was a busy weekend to be Jimbo with a party in Baltimore at Rob and Dax' Luau, an off-the-hook Blowoff that evening (there will be tales told), D&D on Sunday and a riveting mid-term take-home exam that evening to top off the excitement with balance sheets and costs of good souls.

    Sarah came out of the ether and immersed herself into the naughty Bear mob at Blowoff. I think she came with her lesbian gang for protection, one of the 150 purported lesbian gangs in DC according to Fox news. Does Fox include women's rugby and softball teams in the count? If so, I suppose they're right then.

    Apparently the Xanadu musical is breaking records at the Helen Hayes theatre. Most reviews are a lot more enthusiastic than mine. I thought it was fun, but it's apparently a breath of fresh air on Broadway this season. I told you so...

    Jocko has some yummy wallpaper for you today - go check it out. JockoHomo Challenge - can you find the difference in the photo below and that of the previous entries' image?
    subliminal scruff
    Clever photomanipulation by Jocko.

    This weekend was the first weekend in a month where I was finally feeling healthier. I'm very happy to see a month of blank entries on the upcoming month's calendar weekends. Summer is for fun, but also for relaxing and regenerating.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:19 PM | Comments (10)

    July 13, 2007

    Good day to you:
    MetroRail Lights Out

    "Mustache Man" holographic Decepticon pilot, driver in 'Transformers' movie a real Air Force pilot

    In accordance with protocol layed out by the original Star Trek evil parallel universe episode, most evil entities have mustaches or goatees.

    Flash Gordon series coming in August on SciFi. It looks fun, and will tide me over until the return of Battlestar Galactica. Will Ming the Merciless have a fu manchu 'stache? Will Flash be as hot as the one from the 80's movie?

    "Flash - aaa-aah - he'll save everyone of us!

    He's for everyone of us
    Stand for everyone of us
    He'll save with a mighty hand
    Every man every woman
    Every child - with a mighty flash."

    Posted by jimbo at 11:02 AM | Comments (14)

    July 12, 2007

    My pet gay Amazonian dolphins practice 'skullfucking'

    Here's my pet gay Amazonian dolphins, Squeaker and Pixie, exhibiting the popular dolphin passtime of 'skullfucking':
    My pet gay Amazonian dolphins
    From "AGAINST NATURE? - an exhibition on animal homosexuality," at the The Natural History Museum, University of Oslo until August 19, 2007.

    Yes, there's a gay animal museum out there. Something needs to counter the Creation Museum. Seriously though, sex in the animal kingdom goes waaay beyond just a male and female getting it on. The sexes of the swordtail fish in my aquarium change depending on the composition of their school.

    This weekend there's a big giant veterinary convention in DC, the Annual Meeting of the American Veterinary Medical Association. The Lesbian and Gay Veterinary Medical Association (LGVMA) is sponsoring Professor Joan Roughgarden of Stanford University to present the keynote lecture titled “Sexual Diversity in the Animal Kingdom” at the LGVMA’s Annual Meeting scheduled for Sunday, July 15, 2007 from 12 Noon to 2pm at the JW Marriott Hotel in the Capitol Ballroom FG, located at 1331 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.

    Let's all go and learn about why gay Amazonian dolphins practice 'skullfucking'. It'll be fun.

    More about this lecture after the break...

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
    Lesbian and Gay Veterinary Medical Association (LGVMA)
    584 Castro Street #492
    San Francisco, CA 94114
    Ken Gorczyca DVM 415-860-6157
    Michael McElvaine DVM 202 492-3021
    E-mail: LGVMA@lgvma.org
    www.lgvma.org

    LGVMA sponsors special lecture: “Sexual Diversity in the Animal Kingdom with Joan Roughgarden”

    Washington, DC, June 11, 2007- The Lesbian and Gay Veterinary Medical Association is sponsoring Professor Joan Roughgarden of Stanford University to present the keynote lecture titled “Sexual Diversity in the Animal Kingdom” at the LGVMA’s Annual Meeting scheduled for Sunday, July 15, 2007 from 12 Noon to 2PM at the JW Marriott Hotel in the Capitol Ballroom FG, located at 1331 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC. This ground-breaking lecture will take place during the Annual Meeting of the American Veterinary Medical Association. It is believed that this is the first such lecture on this interesting topic to take place at national veterinary meeting in the United States. This event is partially sponsored by grants from the PETCO Foundation; Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS); PETS, DC; Wag Hotels; and Pets Unlimited Veterinary Hospital and Shelter.

    Roughgarden will speak about sexual diversity in the animal kingdom, including zoological aspects of homosexuality in domestic animals and humans. “This talk is especially timely,” Roughgarden says, “in view of the Oslo Museum exhibit on homosexuality and animals that opened in 2006, which has been widely reported in the press. It would be wonderful if all the information on domesticated animals could be folded into the wider zoological picture that is emerging. What is coming out now is to the rest of the animal kingdom what the Kinsey Report was to humans.”

    Professor Roughgarden has authored many books, including, Evolution’s Rainbow: Diversity, Gender and Sexuality in Nature and People and has been published in Science and other scientific journals. This discussion is not a rebuttal of the central idea of natural selection, but an extension of Darwin’s explanation of the mechanism of sexual selection. She draws on a huge range of animal studies to illustrate the diversity of forms of sexual activity in nature, and in doing so challenges a number of key assumptions of neo-Darwinism. In species ranging from fruit flies to lizards and primates she finds behaviors that include same-sex sexual play, sexual switching between male and female, multiple sexes and genders and reproductive behavior requiring more than the commonly expected single male and single female genders to achieve reproductive success and much else besides. Although some scientists are critical, Roughgarden is quoted as being “not altogether surprised” by the volume of dissent, and has pointed out that her team had refuted most of the criticisms. Throughout history, science has tended to have blind spots that are later proven true.

    Join this ground-breaking lecture for the veterinary community from 12-1:30 PM followed by questions and open discussion from 1:30-2:00 PM. We are scheduling a book signing following the lecture sponsored by Lambda Rising Bookstore. Press interviews are available between 11:00-12:00 PM at the JW Marriott. Please contact Tim Withers, DVM to schedule an interview or for more information at 703-812-4795 or lgmva@lgvma.org.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:27 AM | Comments (10)

    July 11, 2007

    delicious

    Now if only some judge would stick it to Verizon like they did to AOL:

    AOL to pay $3M, reform cancel policies

    For months I was not aware, nor made aware of, the drop in AOL's rates. Yeah, yeah, I know: AOL is retarded and Gmail is OMG sooo awesome, but my personal contacts all knew my AOL address so I continue to keep it. Regardless, it was a time-consuming chore to get my rates reduced to $0 by haggling with an aggressive scripted gauntlet via outsourced "customer service" representative, and even then my call was eventually forwarded to a telemarketing company trying to hock training software. Fuckers.

    And don't get me started on the overseas scripted outsourcing "customer service" that companies seem to love inflicting on customers these days. No disrespect to Faridah and Linjabi from Baratphur, but y'all aren't empowered to do anything but sound happy, and your script sucks donkey dick. You know when you're not going to get customer service when you realize you're talking to someone from another country. I don't care how much a company is saving by outsourcing, we know you hate us when we have to talk to someone from not where I am to get help. Simply put, a person from a customer's home region will me more sympathetic and more likely to be able to help me with a problem. I feel much more comfortable speaking with Charlene or Tamiqua than I do speaking with Abhijit.

    Why don't y'all hire friendly, helpful, and empowered people from regions in the U.S. making a difficult transition from an industrial to a service-based economy (Detroit, Pittsburgh, the South)? Yes, I know it's probably more expensive, but we like to hear a familiar voice on the other end of the line, and we'd like some assurance that you're acutally interested in helping us, and not just yourself.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:29 PM | Comments (2)

    July 10, 2007

    Some talking points to the media for Night Out with the Nationals

    I don't speak for the nice people who organized the "Night OUT with the Washington Nationals" on Monday, July 16th, but I think some talking points need to be addressed before the event, from the point of view of an average gay on the street (moi) before the media picks it up and subsequently fucks the story up in order to sell papers. Most of the time they photograph and quote the most obnoxious people on either side, while the quiet ones in the middle eating popcorn getting ignored. Pull out your notepads all you journalists, and take note:

    See, there's been some mean 'ol Christians running around ruining things for everybody again at other city Night Out events. The modus operandi for these people is to 1.) Find gays having fun; 2.) Show up with their moobs proudly displayed; 3.) Ruin all the fun for gays and straights alike with their sourpuss faces and their nasty-ass moobs. And they keep yammering on and on about stuff like this:

    "Homosexuality is a sin,and promoting it with a Pride Night when thousands of kids are also going to be (at the ballpark) is wrong. So we took a moral stand. We're not anti-gay. We're anti-anti-Christian."

    First off, the gays aren't promoting homosexuality at this event, the team is doing a marketing promotion. And honey, they need all the help they can get with attendance this year... See, when we're not eating babies, ruining heterosexual marriages, or gnawing at the pillars of civilization, we do things like going to baseball games, movies, or grilling asparagus wrapped in bacon. Sometimes, we're really quite boring and unfabulous like that.

    "These so-called 'gay pride' events are often debauched affairs of gross and inappropriate displays of public affection."

    When I'm not stuffing my face with nasty hot dogs, delicious cotton candy or flat beer, I might peck the cheek of a friend. But there is no open assfucking at RFK stadium (as far as I know), so relax.

    I had a nice time at last year's Night Out with the Nationals - mostly because there were a lot of friends around and it was an opportunity to watch a game, eat cotton candy, and drink overpriced beer. There is no hidden agenda here, we're just getting together to do something fun in the summer. But I suppose that's what the nutbag hyper-Christians have a problem with - we should not be allowed to enjoy ourselves at a baseball game like the "normal" people. I would like to make a shout-out to all those quiet moderate people who consider themselves Christian to have a word with these people on our behalf, like Robert Davila said:

    "Values start and are taught in the home. Just because you see a bum on the street doesn't turn you into a bum."

    Well, I don't think a homeless analogy is the most flattering, but all we really want to do is go watch a baseball game.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:41 PM | Comments (18)

    July 9, 2007

    Transformers


    Find out which Transformer you are at LiquidGeneration!

    Great...I'm a frikkin' hippie geologist dune buggy transformer.

    I saw Transformers tonight with Gurl, and the film was so awesome I was crying by the end of the film. The Optimus/Megatron dynamic was dead-on. Sure, some of the characters were merged or changed (and of course the black Autobot dies first) but overall I was very impressed. Even the human acting was entertaining, and the action was off the hook. Considering how it could have been messed up I thought it was very well done.

    Considering all the excitement this summer between the Spice Girls reuniting, Kylie on Dr. Who, seeing Xanadu on Broadway and the Transformers live-action film, I might just become a being of energy and transcend to another plane of existence:
    I'm Alive Livvy.jpg

    Posted by jimbo at 10:17 PM | Comments (12)

    July 8, 2007

    NYC rollerdisco weekend

    Immediately upon entering NYC from the Lincoln tunnel, I spotted Cyndi Lauper walking down the sidewalk and considered it a good omen. When I met up with Joe, he immediately took me to the 7-Eleven to see if we could buy some Krusty-Os or a Squishee:
    Apu & Joe
    It was a fun weekend in NYC but I was plagued the whole time with a hacking cough that developed into a full-on lung/sinus infection which I'll get taken care of at the doctor's this week. The Jew Bus is an option to the popular Chinatown bus that is the same price ($35 r/t) but has more cute Jewish guys on it. The ride up was fast and uneventful, but return trip was plagued with bad traffic and a bus that would not exceed 45mph due to overheating problems.

    On Saturday we went to Central Park to the roller disco venue which was a subcultural micropocket back to a different era:
    Bladey's Pimped Ride
    The Broadway production of Xanadu was fun, not mind-blowing, but I would recommend it especially if you're a fan of the movie or songs from the original motion picture soundtrack. It was more of a homage to the movie, era and soundtrack, but only loosely based on the film. The D&D geek in me was happy to see more storyline about the 9 muses and their origins and backgrounds, and there was even a nod to the claymation classic 'Clash of the Titans', seamlessly integrated into the plot. Aaron was a patient musical date, but I'm not sure what he thought of the production. When we got out, we were approached by a guy who we could only think was part of the production, asking us what we thought of it. Since it is still only in preview production and not officially 'on', I guess it is subject to change and some mistakes during the show, but overall I liked it anyway.

    Here is one reason to love NYC. While no one actually heeds the sign, it's good to know it's there. We need a sign like that here in Shaw:
    I Love NY

    Another reason to love NYC - hot shirtless guys with chops:
    Hot Guy

    When I arrived in Penn Station, I adopted The Way of the Remora to survive the initial blast of sheer chaos and humanity moving through the station. The remora is a fish who rides in the wake or attached to a larger fish, like a shark. When I arrive in Penn Station, I find the largest person who looks like a local, and follow in his wake like a remora. This allows me to look around and see where the hell I need to go without getting in the way of the busy locals. People in such large cities aren't really rude, they just need to get somewhere quickly, and the city wouldn't work if it moved at a slower pace. They are also a little more cognizant of the space around them when navigating around each other. You don't see cell phone users wandering aimlessly on the sidewalks as much in NYC, as they would simply get run over very quickly.

    Here's me and Jeff going somewhere quickly in a cab:
    NYC Cab Ride

    I went out Friday and Saturday nights despite a horrid hacking cough. Stephen was charming and filled the niche of requisite attending lip-purser. I was away from TJ so I needed someone near me who pursed his lips.
    Stephen & Jimbo
    Every time I go to the city I'm always doing some event or rugby tournament, so I've rarely had time to just hang out and see the sights. It was fun to kick it old skool style in Central Park, as you can see Joe and Aaron, who keep it real:
    Old Skool Style
    When I got back home, a newly moved-in Skwurl fed me and gave me some high-powered drugs for my hack. I'm high as a kite now.

    When I looked around the laundry room upstairs, I decided we should nickname the other Sean 'Kelly', because he clearly likes shoes. There's like 12 Gola shoeboxes in there and some other brands I've never even heard of.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:19 PM | Comments (11)

    July 5, 2007

    OMG fireworks

    The problem with having lived in DC for 10 years and been part of a couple of all-gay athletic teams or organizations is that I will ultimately hit on someone I know on Manhunt. It's not deathly embarrassing, just awkward at times:

    Me: "Grrrr. Woof!"
    HotHairyDCstud: "Hi Jimbo. It's me, Greg."
    Me: "Oh jeez...."

    Tomorrow I leave for NYC via the Jew Bus to see Xanadu on Saturday. I am hosted by Joe.My.God and will be going to the show with super-hot Aaron. My head will probably explode with excitement. It was good knowing you all, but I will die a happy gay.

    Yesterday's recap: OMG fireworks. I did laundry too.

    I am getting a lot of work done today, actually. Everyone is gone at work so no one is pestering me.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:04 PM | Comments (11)

    July 4, 2007

    Happy 4th

    American Legion MajoretteHappy 4th of July!

    Let's celebrate the anniversary of our former democracy republic with joy.

    George Michael - Freedom '90

    The fireworks in Shaw started about a week ago. But I think in their excitement they used up all the pyrotechnics, as it's been silent for like 48 hours.

    I have no plans today other than to go to the gym, which may be closed by the time I get there. But at least I got out on my bike. The freaks in my City of Heroes supergroup were on last night and we ended up playing until 3am this morning. I'm pulling out one hero, Poodle Patriot, tonight for some Red, White and Blue scrapper action.

    Let us all have a safe and secure holiday:
    woofy horse cop

    Posted by jimbo at 2:05 PM | Comments (5)

    July 3, 2007

    This week's recap: OMG iPhone OMG iPhone OMG iPhone

    First off, bitches: I did buy a fine new pair of sandals at REI this year, but I choose not to wear them because my beloved and gawdawfully old Teva sandals still feel oooh soo much better.

    I don't even want to get into the whole Bush pardoning Libby thing...it's just too depressing to think about how arrogantly disdainful this administration is of any recognition of law. In 1997, I moved from Kazakstan, a former Soviet Republic, to the Royal Monarchy of Bushtexistan.

    OMG everyone STFU about those fucking iPhones. Whatever, Borg Queens. Like we need more people walking erratically on the sidewalk and checking their e-mail during movies anyway. Nearly 90% of my near-collisions while on the bike are with people fondling electronic gadgetry and not paying attention to where they're going as they walk in random directions down the sidewalk. And if I see some obnoxious queen checking Manhunt on the dance floor I'm gonna hurl that thing against the wall. You know it's going to happen.

    Anyway...I finally have Internets access at home, and have buckled to society and Tha Man and have ordered a cell phone. No one makes plans anymore, and I'm tired of fighting to try to get people to meet at a fixed time and location - it's always "OMG I'll call you when I get there..." I also no longer have a land line, and no longer need one, so it is time.

    With all these technological advancements, now I can text message on the dance floor in my Tevas and annoy as many people around me as possible. I can't wait.

    Oh, Kylie on Dr. Who is confirmed - for a Christmas special no less! It's been a good summer for Divas and assorted Girl Power issues and events.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:17 AM | Comments (11)

    July 2, 2007

    Jimborella, Queen of the Universe

    Barbarella-Q
    Here's me doing my best vacant bimbo stare in honor of my favorite bimbo space ranger. I did not arrive early enough to get in to see the film - when I arrived the line stretched around the perimeter of the Hirshhorn sculpture garden, and a good number of people had to be turned away. Next time I won't pimp an event out if I want to actually see it.

    So riding my bike to Dinger & Dumbek's house for some poolside time was a little challenging, especially when the suburb turned into trackless, twisting, flowerey-named avenues and courts which befuddled me. We District residents are accustomed to our orderly street naming and convention. Riding from their house to the Silver Spring MetroRail station was a breeze, and I had planned on taking the Red Line back into town. But apparently the Red Line also Sux Donkey Dick, as it stopped in Takoma indefinitely, only one station on the way into town. But I had my independence with me, so I rode down into the District from Takoma through Rock Creek Park. It was an unexpected, but nice bout of exercise outdoors. I think it wore me out, as I was plain tired the next day, when he moved in upstairs, so I just supervized the moving of boxes. She stopped by to say hi. I think I'll start calling her Mrs. Kravitz now.

    On Sunday all I did was run around and fix stuff that is breaking faster than I can repair it. Now my debit card PIN number doesn't work. June was a disaster. Here's hoping July and August calms things down. I've officially declared the entire month of August mine since I blew my spring and early summer with all this moving and things associated with it. In August I am not committed to doing anything, so there.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:39 PM | Comments (8)