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June 29, 2007

Super-A.D.D. Spice Girls Reunion Friday Recap

In case you missed the news, my wishes have come true and the Spice Girls have reunited for a tour. This is bigger news than the Police reunion. Here's a breakdown of the Spice Girls for those of you who foolishly choose to not pay attention to Girl Power:

Victoria "Posh" Beckham - dreamily married to hot soccer star
Melanie "Scary" Brown - gave birth to Eddie Murphy's kid
Emma "Baby" Bunton - also preggers, looks like a baby too
Melanie "Sporty" Chisholm - best voice, kind of butch
Geri "Ginger" Halliwell - has hot gigantic personal trainers

Clearly, Ginger Spice is the smartest of the bunch.

This gentleman has nothing to do with anything posted today, he's just hot:

Verizon worked my last nerve today. Money quote on the phone today:

"I would rather starve to death than to speak with your automated voice recognition system ever again."
I won't even get into it, but I cancelled my phone/DSL service, so I have no phone for a while. The irony is that while it apparently takes them 3-5 business days to turn DSL on, it only takes minutes to cancel both land line and DSL service. I was thankful for that. Verizon, I will dirt your name until the day I die. You have gained my eternal enmity.

Posted by jimbo at 5:37 PM | Comments (12)

June 28, 2007

a few good not-blogs that say they're blogs

I hope you have all been reading the slow, five-part evisceration of Dick Cheney in the Washington Post this week:


Reading it has been both delicious and frightening at the same time. He wields so much power, but so little concern for the typical American citizen, who most likely voted for him. In the last election, a good number of people voted for those who least represent their best interests. Anyway, read the story, as it is shaking things up a bit here in DC. This administration is more corrupt, contemptuous (of you!) and underhanded than you can imagine.

You'll notice that the URL of the 5-part "blog" also has the word 'blog' in the address. But there's no comments section so it's not a blog. Perhaps the term is being redefined by those who feel threatened by the actual discourse that ocurrs in real blogs.

Another one-way "blog" can be found at the HRC site. On the right-hand sidebar it claims that it too is a "blog". But the definition of a blog is that it allows for reader discourse and commentary. If it just posts news items it is nothing more than a series of press releases.

Posted by jimbo at 3:09 PM | Comments (6)

June 27, 2007

resigned to sweat

Oh, it's that time of year again. When the soft-blue chicory blossoms are blooming in the vacant lots of DC, the weather heats up, or vise-verse. Humidity is a bitch, but somehow I've adapted to it over the years here. I remember it used to really bother me and make me cranky, but these days I just sweat and that's the end of it. I know I'm going to sweat, and I justify it by knowing that sweat is a natural moisturizer and will keep me looking young, if a bit varnished. I do have dry skin and it does feel a lot better this time of year. And I have had a bit of a chest cold lately and it actually feels nicer to breathe outside than in the harsh air-conditioned air.

A shout-out to all my peeps on the Orange Line this week:

Vienna - Ultravox (original version release date 1980)
Vienna - Pop One! UK Remix feat. Scott Bolton
Vienna - video on YouTube

"The feeling has gone only you and I
It means nothing to me
This means nothing to me
Oh, Vienna.

I was at a barbeque last week and some dumb kid didn't know who Queen or Freddy Mercury was. I'm gonna prop his eyelids up with greasy used toothpicks and force him to watch Flash Gordon and listen to the entire Highlander soundtrack 42 times until he wises up. Stoopid ignant kids these days.

Some commenter needed to point out that I've been unusually cranky lately. Duh. I read somewhere once that changing or losing one's home, job or loved ones are the top three stressors in life. Moving sucks, and pretty much sucked up all my weekends this spring. That left little 'jimbo time' for me, as I have also been running around getting shit fixed as well, since everything decided to break at the same time. Oh, and my DSL quit again, Verizon told me to stay home again, and then the next day I find out I didn't need to stay home as they thought because it was a problem on their side - again. One more time and you're out, Verizon. I'd rather starve to death than go through your automated voice mail system ever again, Verizon. I hate Verizon more than I hate Pat Robertson or self-loathing card-carrying closeted gay Republicans. I hate Verizon more than I hate the smell of burnt mac 'n cheese. I hate Verizon more than I hate having hemorrhoids. I hate Verizon more than I hate the screeching sound of a drunk Jennifer at JRs. I hate Verizon more than I hate Crocs, popped collars or capri pants. I could go on and on, Verizon, but you're at the top of the list of things I hate. You suck, and your contempt for customers is blatant and palpable. May the combined hatred of 1,000 jilted customers smite your corporate headquarters with cosmic bile every day.

Anyway, when I'm cranky I have the right to be cranky on this here blog. It's called an outlet, people. Otherwise known as catharsis, or therapy to some. So just deal with it or perhaps read some other blog. Mine. Me. I also have the right to be cranky! So deal with it or go elsewhere.

But I am working to resolve these issues in other ways. You're just not privvy to other aspects of my life, and that's just too bad. Having to move and then be constrained by a limited income makes one think a lot about one's salary, and how I can improve this situation. I perform and produce a lot at work. I'm experienced and smart, gay and innovative. Yet I'm not often allowed to stretch my wings due to the overbearing micromanagement of a Baby Boomer superior. The worst thing you can do with me is direct how I do my work - you'll only get the mustang to buck and nothing good will get done. Let me loose and I will work wonders for you, but you can't and don't need to tell me how to do it. I know this to be true, because I know myself and I know what I'm capable of. I can do great things, and it's important I'm allowed to do these things on my own terms and in my own way. Basically, I need to lead again, manage and direct. All my personality profiles, astrological readings, and history of success point to the same thing, and I'm working to put myself back in that place.

Anyway, I'm looking to move on up and elsewhere, and it's more pay and more responsibility and opportunity for personal accomplishment growth at work. All of these things are important to me, and there have been some promising developments. I don't just bitch in a vacuum, I'm doing something about it, and it looks like there's a good chance it's going to happen. Kind of scary as it's my first real reach towards something I know I want, which is different from the past as I jumped jobs not really knowing what I wanted out of each job. Now that I do, I have a vision and a goal, and I'm on my way there. This is a good feeling that makes the sweaty weather not so uncomfortable.

Posted by jimbo at 1:18 PM | Comments (14)

June 25, 2007

Mowgli goes to a baby shower

Baloo & MowgliI went to my first baby shower for a former coworker today, and it was a painfully uncomfortable experience. I was the only male in a room of some 20 women, and it was much like when I went to a seminar years ago on 'How to be an Outstanding Receptionist' in a room of 200 female receptionists who hated their male bosses. Plus I have a small nuclear family with two older brothers, and my mom, while most loveable, was not an exemplar of feminine practices. She's better with power tools, ripping out old carpet and refurbishing doorways.

Anyway, I never had much exposure to feminine rituals during my youth, and baby showers are pretty much all about being girly. Then after I came out, I still didn't hang out with many women. As femme as some of you queens think you are, you're still not even close to the level of girlyness exhibited at a baby shower. Spending a lot of my time with a rugby team also doesn't help me get much exposure to feminine things. Even the wives of our straight teammates are manly.

Going to the baby shower made me think I was a lot like Mowgli from The Jungle Book, who only hangs out with bears.

At a baby shower, food presentation is more important than eating it. Everything has to be situated perfectly, but there is no mention of when it will be eaten. It's almost as if the food is a sacred presentation that must not be disturbed until the last possible moment. But once it was time to eat, it appears that waving your tongs over the bowl of fruit bites is more important than selecting an item to put on your plate. The buffet line inched along at an incredibly slow pace, as it appears that the time spent selecting the food item somehow reduces its caloric value. Perhaps it does.

Then there were the parlor games. Baby Bingo wasn't so bad, but they were using M&Ms for game pieces, and I ate all of mine, so I lost the game even though I knew what a 'Nuk' was. When it came to the game where you try to predict the exact circumfrence of the mother's tummy, I felt it was time to leave before I had to demonstrate that my tummy was as big as hers.

I can only imagine what a same-sex male couple baby shower would be like after an adoption or artificial insemination volunteers. I'll send my regards and a gift from the registry if invited.

Posted by jimbo at 5:18 PM | Comments (11)

June 24, 2007

Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy

barbarella psyhedella
Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy, 1968.
Thursday, June 28, 8 pm: Ring Auditorium of the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden, Washington, DC.
The year is AD 40,000. Floating buff and blissful in zero gravity, Barbarella (Jane Fonda) is suddenly interrupted by a call from the president of Earth (Claude Dauphin). Duran Duran (Milo O’Shea) is threatening the ancient universal peace, and Barbarella must find him and save the world. The Great Tyrant (Anita Pallenberg), Dildano (David Hemmings), and Professor Ping (Marcel Marceau) also figure in Roger Vadim’s racy space period piece shot by Claude Renoir.

Summer began last week and the weather has been glorious. Unusually dry for this area, my sweat is actually able to do what it was meant to do. This weekend I unpacked a lot more boxes at home and the place is more livable. TechSkwurl replaced my motherboard and all is fast and good on the PC. And I now enjoy the freedom of my bike now that it's back from the bike shop that runs out of wheels.

Posted by jimbo at 9:33 PM | Comments (7)

June 22, 2007

Super-A.D.D. Spice Girls Friday

OMG, this just in: Spice Girls spark speculation of comeback.

My head just exploded (with joy).

OMG, this just in: DNA test shows Eddie Murphy is dad of Scary Spice's baby.

I thought Eddie Murphy was "married"?

Posted by jimbo at 1:58 PM | Comments (9)

some things I've learned as a tenant

Having moved 10 times in 10 years, I've learned a thing or two about homeowning in this area, or at least renting in places. When the time comes for me to buy, there are some things I know I will do better, if financially possible, than some of my landlords did. Here are some common mistakes I've seen:

- Tile and grouting: no, you can't tile yourself. Sorry. I've seen far too many sloppy first attempts, tripped on too many uneven tiles, or seen far too many grout goop residue splashed here and there. Unless tiling is your profession, hire a professional. You can do drywall and you can paint, but that's about it;

- Don't use Roundup herbicide. Ever. It kills everything and makes the existing plants you want to keep looking weak and, well, poisoned ever after. It's poison, people, and the poison enters all life forms in your garden. The substance stays in the tissues of most plants forever. Just pull the goddamn weeds after a rainstorm. Plus, the term 'weed' is relative. Roundup is evil, destructive, and against creation, understand?;

- Most of the appliances they sell at Home Depot is cheap crap. Use Home Depot for raw materials and tools only. Do not furnish a home from Home Depot. If you buy cheap crap appliances that fall apart in a year, what was the point in buying it in the first place? Get good sturdy stuff that will last and serve you, rather than you servicing the crap appliance;

- As for plants and shrubbery, just because it's sold at Home Depot doesn't mean it's optimal for this climate. A good rule of thumb is that if you see a plant thriving on your block, it's a good choice. A lot of stuff sold at Home Depot or any given mall joint may be better suited for, say, Maine or South Carolina than for DC;

- A neighborhood will not change just because you will it to be that way. It is what it is and when you move there you subscribe to it, not the other way around. Think of a neighborhood as a person with a personality. And people are hard to change, and if they do, it takes time. Be patient.

Posted by jimbo at 1:00 PM | Comments (11)

June 21, 2007

the cost of good souls

Charlene can't do this:

I am so going as Metroplex next Halloween.

Whoa...Dell sent me a new motherboard - the next day. I guess if your motherboard capacitors look like fresh muffins it must be dire.

To date I've really enjoyed my graduate school courses - one class taken each semester. Until now most of them have been theory or concept classes, but one requirement before graduation is to take Financial Decision Making for Managers, and it's kicking my ass. I never took accounting in high school, and my background is in life sciences. This shit is totally new territory for me. Sure, I do need to learn it and it will become useful one day, but it's all brand new to me.

To illustrate my ignorance in the subject, the other day my professor was talking about something called the cost of good souls. When he first introduced the term I rolled my eyes at the thought of conservative Christianist concepts infiltrating even the most mundane classes with their terms. What the hell do spiritual matters have to do with accounting anyway? But after class I went through the chapter and realized he was just saying "the cost of goods sold" in a thick Maryland accent.

Posted by jimbo at 11:27 AM | Comments (7)

June 20, 2007

my sweaty, hairy testicle

While I was doing my pre-workout stretching at the gym today, one of my sweaty, hairy testicles slipped out from under the lining of my running short-shorts. As it hung there exposed to the air, I thought, "Gee, I guess I should be embarassed, but if people don't want to see my sweaty, hairy testicle they don't have to look at my crotch."

But I decided to readjust anyway, repositioning my sweaty, hairy testicle back in its place since the other sweaty, hairy testicle was probably getting lonely. While I was doing so, I thought that my blog is a lot like my sweaty, hairy testicle - if what you see makes you angry, upset, or embarassed for me, you don't have to look at it. I don't shove anyone's face in my crotch (in public), nor do I force anyone to read this blog. It's out there hanging for you to see, but nobody's forcing it on you.

Anyway, in working on the repair and tuneup of my 15 year-old mountain bike that serves as my only means of transportation across town, I decided to give the local Shaw Chain Reaction store my patronage. But they were closed during the hours that they posted they were open. I think the store is shut down. So I walked my bike with flat tire to give The Bike Rack a try. It's a new bike shop hidden off of 14th Street on Q. I got a call yesterday that they say I need new wheels, which is no surprise considering all of my wipeouts, but that they were out of wheels. I think it's a 14th Street tradition to be out of your base product, like the KFC/Taco Bell just south of U Street that is always out of chicken. Anyway, my point is that if your bike needs a repair you should stick with City Bikes in Adams-Morgan or College Park Bikes, as I've never had a problem with them being out of things like...wheels and such. Plus Alex, the Adams-Morgan City Bikes manager is dreamy/woofy.

My spiders came with me to the new place. I'm starting to feel like I have spider friends like Wilbur the pig in Charlotte's Web. One morning I'm going to wake up and a spider has spelled 'SOME PIG' or 'RADIANT' in her web. Anyway, the other day when TekSkwurl was troubleshooting my PC*, we noticed a lightning bug had flown into my basement. We were both filled with joy at the thought of a lightshow in Gollum's basement. But after a few minutes the bug was nowhere to be seen. Then I noticed a tiny, tight bundle in a web in the corner. A spider got the poor thing and was already feeding on its life juices. There is no room for species diversity in my home - spiders rule in every corner.

* turns out the Dell GX270 lemon PC often suffers from 'Swollen Capacitors', requiring the motherboard to be replaced. I checked my 'Y' capacitor, and sure enough, the topmost part of it was swollen and looked like a nipple. Said capacitor should have a flat top.

**A blog reader suggested I call Dell about the issue, and they were remarkably helpful...and are sending me a replacement motherboard due to me mentioning the swollen capacitor issue! Should be about 2 days.

Posted by jimbo at 7:49 PM | Comments (15)

June 19, 2007

The Green Line Sux Tremendous Amounts of Donkey Dick

My reward for getting up "early" (for me) today was a sweaty, two-hour commute courtesy of MetroRail:

     West Hyattsville station closed; major Green Line delays in effect

So I still got to work at the same time I usally do, but this time with completely drenched clothing, as the connector shuttle that bypassed the dead station had no air conditioning. And the friendly WMATA employees were for once too quiet, directing only those confused passengers directly in front of them. While after hours they will shout to their girlfriend from across 3 city blocks, they cannot shout so during a work crisis. Instead, when you walk up to them to ask which shuttle you should take, they castigate you for asking, and complain that people "just don't think". If it wasn't for one fellow passenger, I wouldn't have gotten off where I needed to.

For the most part, MetroRail riders are pretty much on their own in times of crisis. Remember that when there is a fire, flood or outage on the train. First there will first be an overly long period of confusion, followed by a period where WMATA employees do in fact know what's going on, but they don't know enough to tell anyone. Then someone will finally step forward to help, but by then it will be too late for you. Take care of yourselves, MetroRail riders, for there are no competent hands to help you.

Posted by jimbo at 10:43 AM | Comments (4)

June 18, 2007

True Colors concert

Last night I went to the True Colors concert at Merriweather Pavillion with Brettie, a friend 'o his, Andrew and Clay. At first I had pooh-poohed the idea of going to that concert because it was sponsored by a proportionately ineffective and financially bloated gay institution. And the tickets were a bit pricey too. But then I learned it was co-sponsored by a smaller, more effective organization with a more focused goal, so I deemed it acceptable to attend. The concert was several hours long with many performers, but the seats were not completely sold out. I think it was the ticket price. When you can see Cyndi at the 9:30 Club for like $15 or so, why bother?

Anyway, my favorite performer was Margaret Cho, who always makes me laugh. The former Queen of Nice, Rosie O'Donell, also made an appearance and was only funny when she was not telling jokes about gays. Whenever she speaks about gay issues she always seems really angry. She seems angry a lot these days. Anyway, there were two lesser-known bands performing, The Dresden Dolls and The Gossip, who were pretty good for warm-up bands. And then Rufus Wainwright performed with his cute adorkable band. Rufus is always good but I couldn't handle more than an hour of his nasal tenor. Then Blondie showed up in a track suit, and somebody text messaged Brettie to say:

     Blondie needs 2 stop.

Erasure was really fun and Andy Bell still has a great voice. Cyndi did not disappoint. When she came on I freaked out and started screaming:

OMG it's Cyndi!

So now that I have moved all of my possessions are breaking, decaying or falling apart in one way or another all at once. My bike got a flat and needs a tune-up. My dresser-drawer is falling apart. And my computer is spontaneously shutting itself off. I got a competent TekSkwurl to look at it at great length on Saturday and we troubleshot many potential factors. It's not the graphics card, it's not the power source, it's not the heat sink nor the fan. TekSkwurl says the only remaining possibility is that I need a new motherboard, which basically means get a new computer. So we will rebuild this unit, to create the Skwurl~3000.

Again, I don't want to hear about how Macs are superior, so STFU about Macs, thanks. That tired debate is, well, quite tired. Spare us. Thanks.

Anyway, I'm not quite in the mood for fixing or purchasing a lot of crap right now. Nor for the constant running around it takes to get things fixed. While it is the end of the world when my rent check is 2 days late, they sure take their time on returning my deposit from the last unit. And the movers and rent + new deposit have me watching what I spend a lot lately. Being tight with money in the summer sucks.

Posted by jimbo at 11:32 AM | Comments (12)

June 14, 2007

Linus Loves

I'm dog/cat/housesitting in Takoma this week. Here's Linus:
Linus Loves
Linus basically walks himself and pees on a regular schedule in previously designated locations. The hardest part is meeting the needs of the very needy cat who must have human contact at all times. Other than that, I'm doing the whole Takoma / Silver Spring thing and will be attending a Silverdocs movie on Friday night and drinking coffee at a lesbian coffee shop and letting my leg hair grow out like everyone else around here.

I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters feat. Linus Loves
Look On The Floor - Bananarama (They look well-preserved!)
Stand Back - Linus Loves feat. Sam Obernik (and dreamy dancer in video)

Pride Of PetsAt the campus where I work we recently received a memo about something called "Campus Based Privileges for Designated Individuals," that is, peope who are designated by a university employee, who are 18 years old or older, reside continuously with the employee, and is not in a landlord/tenant relationship with the employee. Examples of such individuals include spouses, domestic partners, and adult children of employees. I call this "domestic partnership lite," as the designated individuals get use of library, fitness center, health center, counseling center, daycare and thank Zod use of the university golf course!

The above stated "designated individuals" do not get health care benefits or tuition remission. While the memo is a welcomed first step towards full parnership benefits, it still infers that a "designated individual" is not the same as a spouse. The tone of the memo says to me "We will give you some of the benefits that we get, but you don't get all of them because you're not like us, and you aren't worthy of the benefits our spouses get." In other words, the memo says that same-sex partners are not the same as married opposite sex couples. Fuck you too, assholes.

Anyhow, speaking of pets, Pets-DC is hosting their annual Pride of Pets doggie show and pageant at 3pm this Saturday the 16th. All you Flickr freaks should enjoy the opportunity for cute doggie pics.

Posted by jimbo at 11:09 AM | Comments (18)

June 13, 2007

Xanadu, your neon lights will shine...

Xanadu, on Broadway
I think I'm gonna plan for a trip to NYC the weekend of July 6-8, and hope the ticketing process isn't a crapshoot. Any of you theatre queens know the best way to get a ticket, and the best (affordable) seating at the Helen Hayes theatre? David liked it and so did Joe.My.God. I'll admit I'm highly biased towards a favorable review. I'll probably spontaneously combust before I get there.

If the musical's marketing company was on the ball, they would have sent me the above image as a kind gesture and a wise marketing move. A simple Google search finds 35 references to the word 'Xanadu' on the domain 'jimbo.info'. Instead I have to get the image through nefarious means and sources. Seriously.

I have Internets access at home! But now they're calling me with follow-up appointment visits for no reason at all. I've told them I'm fine, and I'm afraid they're gonna come and mess it up again. I'll leave a note in the transfer gadget boxy thing outside which they basically trained me how to maintain and repair after several calls to their service center. I'm all for customer empowerment but I'd prefer they take care of that stuff themselves.

This just in: starting lead in Xanadu breaks foot during rehearsal.

Did any of you think Xanadu was some kinda cakewalk? Huh, punks? That man BROKE HIS FOOT for this show. This is dangerous work!

Posted by jimbo at 8:29 AM | Comments (8)

June 12, 2007

Is the water still warm enough?

WendyLisaPrince.jpgOMG Wendy and Lisa have reunited with Prince on his upcoming album. As you should already know, W&L do the television score for Heroes.

Prince, Wendy & Lisa had a nice flavor together when they made music, like for the Under the Cherry Moon soundtrack:

Now I feel like trying on a pair of bolero pants.

This guy has an awesome YouTube collection of 80s and 90s pop/R&B music.

Posted by jimbo at 12:47 PM | Comments (6)

June 11, 2007

Struggling with Pride

Grrr!In this morning's copy of the Washington Post Express edition were more dumb comments questioning the continued validity of gay pride parades and festivals. Pride is valid if only for an excuse to have our own holiday and party. Don't you think you're worth your own holiday? Joe.My.God also provides some more sound reasons to continue the festivities.

While I'm not crazy about parades (my back starts to hurt when I stand too long) I do like to go down to the festival because I usually see lots of friends from way back and today. It is a gathering of people with at least one thing in common. Otherwise many of us don't have that much in common.

And the truly sinful food options expand every year. This year I was able to buy bubble tea AND a Nutella/banana crepe at the same booth! Although I'll wager the incidents of grease fire particulate-induced lung cancer will increase in the gay community due to all the food vendors at the festival.

And we still need to have a pride festival at least until they one day serve batterfried cheese curds at one of the vendor booths.

Hey you gay pet owners: leave your dogs at home! Do you know how hot it is down there near the blacktop? And hot blacktop hurts doggie feet, and who knows how many doggie feet get stepped on in the crowd. We know you love your dog and your dog is very proud that you're gay, but if it's a hot day leave your dog at home.

Pride gives you an excuse to be Fierce!

Pride gives you an excuse to wear blast goggles, like Fitz:
Fitz & the Capitol Building

Pride gives you an excuse to hang out with furry people like yourself.
Buncha Bears

Pride gives your straight teammates an opportunity to help out.
Buncha Beers

And like I wrote earlier, Pride gives you the opportunity to greet longtime friends who will then pick you up and start humping you:
Bear Attack
I like the expression on Matt's face (at right) in the above pic.

Posted by jimbo at 11:29 AM | Comments (6)

June 8, 2007

Little Internets Shop of Horrors

If there's anything that makes me feel good about my personal collection of beat-up and/or used furniture, it's looking at other people's beat-up, ugly-ass furniture they try to sell on Craigslist. Here's a collage of choice items that are thankfully going for a price that honestly reflects their style and quality:
Little Shop of Horrors
I think I have phone service now. Of course they arrived to diddle with the wires the moment I left my home, but I called the number from work and at least you can leave messages on it. I'll know for sure when I get home.

But still, Verizon Sux Donkey Dick for eternity unless they come to my house, say they're sorry for treating customers like dirt, and baking me a nice German chocolate cake from scratch. And give me a foot massage. And put together my entertainment system. And a manicure. But until then Verizon Sux Donkey Dick for eternity.

Posted by jimbo at 11:42 AM | Comments (3)

June 7, 2007

Happy DC Pride Weekend!

Everybody have a good DC Pride Festival weekend. Try to act like the gentleman shown below as much as possible, because you can and should be able to, just because:

Even if you consider yourself to be "straight-acting" or "masc" (and actually are in reality), you should still be able to act as flamey as you would like. That is the point of gay pride celebrations. We act this way because we can, and I suck dick because I like it. It just happens to feel right.

Seen on The Banal Chew, originally from Star Trek Inspirational Posters.

Verizon still Sux Donkey Dick. They actually admitted on the phone today that I didn't need to be home yesterday. A repairman showed up, checked the outdoor box, declared that it worked, and left without knocking on my door. The phone still doesn't work and they had the gall to tell me how to test it myself. It doesn't work, send someone to install/fix, please? Do I have to beg? I guess so. Verizon, you will pay some day, I assure you, one way or another. No gay pride for you because you suck.

Posted by jimbo at 4:16 PM | Comments (9)

June 5, 2007

Verizon Sux Donkey Dick to the Nth Degree

As we all know, Verizon Sux Donkey Dick in the greatest way possible, from their coldly impersonal computerized voice recognition "customer service" line to their annoying habit of asking you to stay home all day to wait for them, and then they don't show up. I once had to flag down a Verizon service truck off the street at random and beg for help. Verizon, your contempt for your customers will come back to haunt you some day.

Although the last time I recall they did show up right quick in the morning, at the exact same time as the plumber, and the phone jack was on the other side of the wall from the toilet, so it was a bit of a scene.

I had my first night of my Financial Management for Managers or somesuch class last night. Let's just say I didn't do well in my Resource Management, Calculus or Trigonometry classes back in undergrad. And all you math enthusiasts STFU, we've heard it already about how it's so easy blah blah blah. I'm 36 and math is still hard, and no amount of wishing it were easy won't help. Anyway, there were no hotties in the class to distract me, but it would help if the professor didn't have the most soothing voice in the region. He's got this cool smooth jazz voice that tranquilizes me with a word. Not a good thing in a boring number crunching class.

Blast from the past - think Siberian steppe if you are feeling warm and humid this summer:
Siberian Steppe
That's Laura at right, out in our backyard in Kazakstan. Like someone said, it was so flat that you could stand on a beer can and see Moscow. And it was frikkin' cold.

*Is 'deificance' really a word? I don't know, I just constructed the word together because I needed a word like that. 'Deificance' means to act like a deity, or god. For example, "Kylie Minogue was absolutely fabulous in her pop deificance at the Sydney Olympics opening ceremony."

Posted by jimbo at 1:13 PM | Comments (5)

June 4, 2007

moving blah blah moving blah blah

Still catching up on all my e-mails from being disconnected from the Internets Collective. But I am now moved. My whole body aches and isn't happy with this move, but it's done and at least my bed is set up. The rest is in large piles waiting to be redistributed throughout the house. Chiropractor adjustment is set for tomorrow for some preventative back-mauling.

bad water flashbackThis is a picture of my bathtub spigot some days when I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Kazakstan. My water on Q Street is a lot nicer, but the kitchen sink leaks underneath. The wonderfully responsive landlord is getting it fixed tomorrow. He left champaigne in the fridge for me! That was a nice gesture.

The movers came three hours early at about 1:30pm on Saturday. I said come at 5pm. Fuckers. It's a cute trick because they say they will then 'help' you pack (and of course I wasn't ready) which they can then bill as hours. I was too flustered to argue at the moment but looking back I should have given them their tip early and had them go have a beer while I finished packing.

Big Gurly Hugs to Martini Gurlatalova and OMG DJ TM™ helped move more stuff that couldn't be moved with the movers, and Mari stopped by to say hi when I was in a flurry of movement.

Unpacking after a few glasses of wine makes unpacking go so much nicer. But then the buzz fades and you tire out, which sucks.

I've already met many of my neighbors. There are a couple of gay couples across the street, and many friendly long-timers. I think people before the wavefront of gentrification can often be very nice, and newcomers quite the opposite. Recent migrants from say, Vienna to DC, come home after work and barricade themselves indoors. Longer-term residents hang out and get to know people. I prefer this to urban isolation. Vinnie (not landlord) lives across the alley and has a very friendly dog named Sugar. Well, I thought Sugar was really friendly but then I realized everyone on the block gives Sugar treats and she was just whoring me for food.

I cleaned out the cesspool as I refilled the half-tub and the aquarium. The cesspool hadn't been cleaned out all winter, and there was lots of leaf litter detritus at the bottom in addition to a lead battery and a hubcap! Sadly, my angelfish didn't make the transition as the poisonous DC water and stress killed them. Moving is hard on fish.

There will be no more big fabulous Jimbo house parties. There simply isn't enough room. I think this place is half as big as the other one, and there's less storage. Plus those bitches upstairs can host from here on out. One is a DJ and a bartender and the other is a drunken squirrel, so between the two of them they can figure something out. Gollum will just clean the cesspool.

There will be no big fabulous gay vacations this summer. Moving is expensive ($505). Aborted trips to Costa Rica aren't as expensive as the actual vacation, but it adds up too. My only major plan for the summer is to visit the family, which will be nice and cheap.

Posted by jimbo at 12:38 PM | Comments (12)

June 2, 2007

the amazing new spider-home

I signed a year lease Friday afternoon, moving commences Saturday, unpacking and settling Sunday. Here is the view from the street:
Q St., NW DC
Here is the front area, which is quite sunny:
The back area is an odd shape - I'm not quite sure where I'm going to put the bed:
Back Area
Here is the infamous 'Gollum Hole' that leads upstairs. The upstairs folk may drop food scraps down for Gollum:
Gollum Hole
A potential cesspool project for later:
Cesspool Project
Me old back hurts from packing.

Posted by jimbo at 8:12 PM | Comments (12)

June 1, 2007

pre-packing fall geek show update

The Sci-Fi Channel has announced upcoming season 4 of Battlestar Galactica will be its last:

"Galactica" will kick off in November with "Razor," an extended two-hour episode, with the rest of the season slated to run beginning in early 2008.

This is good and bad news for me. I'm glad they won't be stringing along storylines and leaving questions unanswered episode after episode like in Lost. They're trying to get somewhere and it makes sense that they'll hopefully achieve their goal in reaching Earth. But it's sad such a good show has to end.

Geek tip from Chris at BoysBriefs: A limited run six-episode Heroes spinoff, Heroes: Origins, will introduce a new character each week. At the end of the run you vote for your favorite Hero, a la American Idol.

The democratically elected character will then be added to the sci-fi drama as a regular the following year. In other words, think of this as a paranormal version of American Idol.

More proof Kylie likes Dr. Who and is a wannabe Cybergirl:

Geekery research by Kutari Prime who notes that Kylie is dressed like a Movellan Princess circa Tom baker era in the clip. Listen closely for Cybermen creator quotes.

More woofy baseball players, because it's almost summer. Geoff Jenkins of the Milwaukee Brewers:
Geoff Jenkins
Geoff Jenkins
It's amazing how inspired I am to blog when I have a whole house to pack today. I'll be away from the Internets for a while until Verizon comes to my rescue, which could be weeks, even months. Have a good summer!

Posted by jimbo at 11:40 AM | Comments (8)