« weekend project | Main | mean streak »

April 30, 2007

"masc/musc/mil"

An ode to Manhunt and other online hookup sites:

ThisTall2ride.jpgMasc/musc/mil, masc/musc/mil,
Every time I read it I feel sorta ill.
Makes me think that I've kinda had my fill
of gays requiring guys to be 'masc/musc/mil'.

"Masc" stands for "masculine"
- it's really hard to find.
But a guy who's happy as-is
has a more contented mind.

"Musc" means "muscular"
which rymes with "crepuscular."
She wants us all to fuss for her
but her hole is too pustular.

"Mil" is for "Military,"
which we have a lot to spare,
in DC, and The Beltway,
they all have buzzcut hair.

But good guys come in all types
so don't limit your choice,
you'll miss out on the one guy
you passed with a femme voice.

I guess I shouldn't judge
but not to point out names:
They write: "No Fats, No Fems, No Fakes -
and most of all: NO GAMES!"

Posted by jimbo at April 30, 2007 3:25 PM

Comments

Bravo! Bravo!

Posted by: Trey R at April 30, 2007 5:15 PM

Clearly you are the gay Eminem. Bravo.

I wrote a poem about Big Muscle Bears, but haven't posted it yet. Cuz it sucks.

Posted by: durban bud at April 30, 2007 6:09 PM

World of ManKunt, thats so Gay
Pozitive Fags is not the way
I M Clean, UB2
LTR is not 4 U

Posted by: wombat at April 30, 2007 6:21 PM

Brilliant Jimbo! You should have that published somewhere...

Posted by: Bob at April 30, 2007 7:30 PM

You hit the nail on the head, Jimbo.

Posted by: homer at April 30, 2007 7:42 PM

This is better than a Dr. Seuss book, maybe you could write the sequel to "Oh, The Places You'll Go!"

Posted by: Patrick at April 30, 2007 10:06 PM

a-the-fuck-men

Posted by: A-Ron at April 30, 2007 10:09 PM

Very poignant, but do you really visit these sites?

Posted by: Kevin-Andrew at April 30, 2007 10:09 PM

Sadly, lately, yes, I do visit these sites.

I've come to realize the same people on Manhunt are the same people who were on AOL 5-10 years ago.

Posted by: jimbo at April 30, 2007 10:36 PM

you're a yeats in the making

Posted by: Paul at April 30, 2007 10:54 PM

Great poem.

Posted by: Mike at May 1, 2007 12:21 AM

Isn't nice to find yourself rudely rejected by people you haven't had the "pleasure" or meeting yet? Hey, but what about the guys that demand one have/not have a foreskin? Don't they deserve a verse?

Posted by: Sean at May 1, 2007 7:09 AM

And I like the Talon pic.

It conjures up a series of different yard sticks:

A big old bear: you must be this wide to ride this ride.

A skinny flamingo: You must be this skinny to ride this ride.

A happy nurse waving a needle: You must be tested to ride this ride.

A muscle man: Your bicep must be this big to ride this ride.

A twink: You must have a popped collar to ride this ride.

I'm with Patrick. We should get this published with some very fun illustrations ...

Just sayin.

Posted by: SmartAss at May 1, 2007 9:13 AM

Personally, I like games.

Mind games, I mean.

Posted by: Eric at May 1, 2007 9:46 AM

This of course coming from the rugby player, that grows beards.

I think i can sympathize though. LOL and don't judge me for growing up around military guys!!

Posted by: tim at May 1, 2007 10:08 AM

You left out the part about the ones "looking for now" who never seem to be available. lol

I actually find I avoid profiles with the term "masculine" in them as it usually signifies said individual has more issues than will fit in a one hour special on Jerry Springer.

Posted by: moby at May 2, 2007 8:49 PM

I learned a new term- muscline.

Posted by: Gay Canuck in the Capital at June 8, 2007 2:37 PM