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March 22, 2007

a shout-out to all my Teva-hatin' fashionista peeps out there

Hey all you Teva-hatin' fashionista bitches - Jimbo says hi:
tevasfuckyou
We skipped the Grand Canyon today because Homer was honkin' his nose all night and wasn't up for the drive, so we went east to Kartchner Caverns, where I went into a deep cave. Then we went to the San Pedro River where I got to see some vermillion flycatchers again. Here's Homer in a mesquite bosque looking for birds:
mesquite bosque
It has been raining here a lot! Tomorrow we go to Phoenix. Apparently Chris is gonna force me to run with Michael like at 6am or something. I tried to run up to the 'A' in Tucson on the hill yesterday, but the altitude...the altitude around here almost killed me. That and I'm totally out of shape.

Oh, I totally forgot to mention that Homer has been doing my genealogy while I've been visiting, which has been done before but I was wondering if Homer's master skills could provide any more insight.

Looking through census records, I'm terribly delighted to learn that I'm descended from a great-aunt named TILDA! Here is a photo of my great-aunt Tilda at her carriage upon arriving to the New World:

Auntie Tilda
I would like to think I take after my great-aunt Tilda most of all.

NelsTolvstad.jpgLooking at the records I also wrote down all the interesting names of the brothers and sisters of my Norwegian ancestors. Most interesting names include: Jeno, Moody, Leander, Guri, Akim, Bothilda, Owner, Helper, Borghild and Asora. And the hottest Norwegian name ever, Haakon, brother of great-grandfather Nels H. Tolvstad (photo at right), Haakon also being the same name as the current crown prince of Norway, a rather hot fellow unto himself.

It is interesting to note that great-grandfather Nels H. Tolvstad (pictured at right), a mail carrier born in 1866, also worked the porn-star 'stache just as good as his ancestor Jimbo does. Hot porn-star staches and biking ability run in the family, clearly.

According to homer, I am 9th cousins once removed to Herbert Hoover and 13 other U.S. Presidents, including the despicable W and George Washington; King Edward III is my 19th great-grandfather, and I'm also apparently related to various royal families, including King Ferdinand (of Columbus and Queen Isabella fame). Homer also says we are distant cousins as well!

In a nutshell, I am 50% Norwegian, my mother being 100%. The other part of me is 1/4 Irish, with about a 1/8 English, the rest to be determined. Father's lineage includes last names such as Brennan, Bennett, Hewitt and Griffin.

Posted by jimbo at March 22, 2007 8:56 PM

Comments

With those shoes you'll fit right in when you move to Portland.

Posted by: John T at March 22, 2007 10:48 PM

I bought some Tevas on sale in Provincetown. I knew their sale-situation probably signified that they were no longer on the cutting edge. But they still feel comfortable, and I still like using them in hot weather. So all those fashionistas can just bend over so I can kiss their asses. Or whatever the expression is.

Posted by: Mike at March 23, 2007 1:41 AM

You'd be in better shape if you stopped avoiding running with me!

Posted by: Skwurl at March 23, 2007 6:26 AM

You look cute in your Tevas. Don't take crap from anyone.

Posted by: Sean at March 23, 2007 7:20 AM

Now I am with you on the crocs. ick. And that is be'atch to you.

Posted by: Gay Canuck in the Capital at March 23, 2007 7:38 AM

It seems the canuck...touched a nerve!

Sometime last year Hello magazine published a photo of a bare chested Crown Prince Haakon wind surfing with his stepson. He is really hot if your into naturally smooth unblemished ripped up guys.

Posted by: Chris at March 23, 2007 8:56 AM

Ancestory research is fun.

On my maternal line, I am descended from Lucrecia Bourgia. (this is why ROb never accepts warm drinks from me ;-)

Also my mother's side is pretty much umm how do we say "stagnant" since they inter married between cousins. As a result we tend to all look alike.
My father's side is a bit more genetically diverse

It wasnt until a 100 years ago that they started to introduce new genetic stalk into the pool.
As a result I am a nice blend of Celtic, Germanic, Italian, Spaniard, Asian and Israelie.

Its good to look ethniclly ambiguous.

Posted by: Dax at March 23, 2007 11:38 AM

I'm all for seeing sexy men in sandals, flip-flops, and slides, but those Teva's gotta go! I never liked them when they first came out, they're so ugly they ruin an otherwise hot look.

Posted by: Bill at March 23, 2007 12:02 PM

Nah. His Tevas are so 1996 (1993, even?). I remember that pattern from way back then. By 1997, all of Portland (and the rest of the outdoors world) was moving on to Chacos, which don't blow-out in the river or get huge pebbles between the footbed and the arch. How have those soles lasted more than a decade?

Posted by: Mike at March 23, 2007 1:16 PM

WWCD?

What Would Charlene Do?

Wear Tevas or some comfortable yet trendy shoes? My money is on some comfortable wedges to show off those gams!

Posted by: Veronica at March 23, 2007 2:20 PM

I guess I am the only one who has to make the obvious comment about going into the deep cave... Glad you got some! :-P

Posted by: TOS at March 23, 2007 5:24 PM

You're an descendant, not an ancestor, pornstache Jimbo ;)

Posted by: sam at March 23, 2007 5:49 PM

Forget the Tevas, I like the porn-stache family histories.

And you should definitely create a new WOW character named Haakon and a new COH character named Tilda.

Just sayin-

Posted by: SmartAss at March 23, 2007 6:46 PM

Jimbo, have a good trip!

Posted by: Ivan at March 23, 2007 7:24 PM

Oh look! He's wearing Tevas! I remember those! That's what we used to wear before we discovered Keen's.

We all switched because besides the structural differences, Keen's soles are impregnated with some antibacterial stuff so they don't stink after wearing them for three weeks like Tevas. Either that photographer was using the zoom feature on the camera or Jimbo hasn't been wearing those Tevas for longer than three weeks.

Posted by: Drew Kramer at March 24, 2007 1:03 PM

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