« NC, SC wildlife photos | Main | Qs & As »
November 15, 2006
a nice night at the gym
Now that rugby season is over it's back to the gym on a more regular basis. It's tough when it's dark out after work, but I know I have to keep it up to fill the stress relief vacuum left where rugby would normally burn it away. Much thanks to Joe for the Happy Light! I will install it on my wall next to the computer this weekend.
Anyway, lately I've been going to the Washington Sports Club on Connecticut, north of DuPont Circle, as the one south of the Circle has become skanky and smells of mold and stale cum, and the management there doesn't replace missing cable machine handles and stuff. Plus, these days the Kalorama WSC has been smokin' hot for some reason, filled at all hours with something nice to look at. Demographics always shift from club to club, and I move to where I'm most motivated.
So I do my back-craking and stretching exercises, then go to the upstairs deck to do my abs, because if I wait until after my workout I don't always do them. The area is crowded with Jennifers doing six million sit-ups, but waay back in the corner are two 20-something guys apparently humping each other. Interested, I move to get the sit-up device nearest to them, and set it so I can watch them humping in the mirror while I do sit-ups.
Turning off my iPod to hear what they're saying, I can tell they're doing some kind of martial art/wrestling training wearing only shorts and tee-shirts, but no shoes or socks. I did a bit of wrestling back in high school, and even some Muay-Thai kickboxing in Kazakstan, but the moves these two are doing are really unfamiliar. One guy looked Jewishy and had a hot schozz (we'll call him Jacob), and the other has a buzzed head and beard scruff (let's call him Esau). Both Jacob and Esau had furry arms and legs, so much so that they almost had Hobbitt feet. And they were almost in constant contact with each other the entire time, limiting their moves to only a 6' by 6' area of the excercise mat we were all sharing. Considering their appearance and strange grappling moves, I can only surmise that they are practicing some kind of Jew-Fu.
As I begin my set of sit-ups, counting off one...two...three...I see them linking their legs and arms together much like two queens on a couch rolling on ecstacy. Then they come closer, cheek-to-cheek, and just kinda sweat and groan together. Entranced by this close and erotic display of Jew-Fu, I lose myself in my ab set and can't stop looking...
...5,648 reps later I realize I haven't been breathing or blinking for almost ten minutes, and they combatants are still at it. The Jennifers didn't seem to notice. I could do no more sit-ups and didn't want to tent my shorts in the gym, so moved on to do my legs.
It was a good night at the gym...the Jennifers weren't even monopolizing the leg ad/abductor machines, and I completed an entire superset for my legs without anyone asking to work in. Must have been the crazed look on my face. Mmmm...Jew-Fu...
Posted by jimbo at November 15, 2006 11:02 PM
Comments
I don't think I will be able to stop laughing at Jew-Fu for at least another hour.
Posted by: Addison at November 16, 2006 12:04 AM
Maybe you can go to the ancient land to learn Jew-Fu from the masters.
Posted by: Mari at November 16, 2006 7:39 AM
I avoid the upper Conn WSC just for that reason, I need no such distraction and I find it to Results-lite, though plenty of attitude from retail queens. I don't need THAT much anger at the gym.
Good for you on your Jew-Fu. Still the muscledaddies love the ones south of the circle, both Conn & L St. Just ask Mr. B...
Posted by: copperred at November 16, 2006 9:40 AM
sounds like old school greco-roman wrestling, I've seen some demonstrations from people out of Iran and Turkey, but it's the hair factor that makes me think there might be a link.
Posted by: Tim at November 16, 2006 10:02 AM
On Monday morning at the WSC on Conn Ave south of the circle, there were three birds in the gym flying all over the place. At 7 in the morning, the faces of the gym-goers who first saw them was pure delight to watch! (I have no idea what happened to the birds, but they weren't there this morning.)
Posted by: Pete at November 16, 2006 12:14 PM
I want photo proof of this new sport.
Posted by: homer at November 16, 2006 3:09 PM
They have a new movie coming out calling Crouching Quarter Hidden Nickel.
Jews are hot!
Posted by: moby at November 16, 2006 4:09 PM
When I first moved to DC I had my big Washington moment at the north WSC. I used the treadmill right next to George Snuffleuffaguss. I was so excited.
Posted by: Brian at November 16, 2006 4:28 PM
We passed by that WSC on Friday evening during our stroll.
Posted by: Aaron at November 16, 2006 7:15 PM
actual jew-fu: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krav_maga
Posted by: spanky at November 18, 2006 9:29 AM