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November 30, 2006

happy light

Joe.My.God dropped off another happy light the last time he was in town. I installed it by the place I spend the most time in my home, dubbed 'The Masturbatorium'. I do other things here of course, like play City of Heroes and do my grad school homework. I have a happy light at work too, and both are to help alleviate winter blues. Not sure if they help or not, but any little bit is appreciated. Take note of my bitchin' new wide-screen monitor, featuring Tom Brady (wooof). From here I blog:
The Masturbatorium
Scandinavian Troll and Viking miniature (upper left): Gurl
Holmen Area Historical Society Calendar: Mom
Photography: Piranha Sean

Posted by jimbo at 10:50 PM | Comments (9)

November 29, 2006

make wish list, anger a barrista

We all know that every time you masturbate, a kitten dies, but I want to remind you that every time you make a holiday gift wish list on your blog you anger a 31 year-old Starbucks barrista. So let's all do our part to anger barristas across the country, and like totally sell out and post your holiday wish list on your blog. I tried the whole Amazon wish list on their site but nobody could figure it out, so I'll just link to the individual items instead: And finally, if I can't get anything else, please get me a Jason for my birthday (Dec.28):
Jason is Woofy

Posted by jimbo at 8:41 AM | Comments (12)

November 27, 2006

I heart cavemen

The term 'caveman' is a jimboism coined by me, meaning a rugged looking man who may or may not be furry or scruffy, but just has that look like he might hit you over the head with his club and drag you to his cave. I heart cavemen. Usually more fit than Bears, cavemen are definitely more scary-looking, but in a good way. One fine example is John Cena, a professional wrestler. Many professional wrestlers are 'cavemen'. Just look at that cro-mag brow!
John Fucking Cena
Here's actor David Denman as his character in 'The Office'. His character is a caveman, not a Bear, because he's not too big and burly:
And Jeff of Jeff's Weather Blog is a caveman, because he's scruffy and makes me go "GRRR!" inside, and again, he's not really a Bear:
I 'heart' Jeff
Jeff's friend Eric is a caveman too. Here's a picture of Eric with his Gucci pterodactyl-hide manpurse slung over his shoulder. In this picture, he's probably about to go kill a wooly mammoth just for fun:
Eric is not a bear, he's a caveman!
Sadly for Jimbo, there are very, very few cavemen in Washington, DC. Most people here are very clean cut and evolved, and I don't often see any knuckle-draggers (as I like to call them) up on Capitol Hill. Anyone got a time machine?

And let's not forget my favorite caveman, Howie Long. Here's a pic from his ill-fated (I saw it in the theatres, it was awful) 1988 breakout action film Firestorm:

I hope this entry doesn't start some kinda micro-cultural movement that launches Caveman circuit parties and bar venues...

Posted by jimbo at 2:18 PM | Comments (31)

November 26, 2006

Wineberry Cabin

Here's our gargoyle spring water spout at the Potomac Appalacian Trail Club's (PATC) Wineberry Cabin located above the the village of Lydia, Virginia on PATC's "Vining Tract" property. I spent Saturday evening there and the sky was clear with lots of stars showing:
Originally uploaded to Jimbo3DCs Flickr account. More photos after the jump...

It was a rustic, but cozy, log cabin:
Wineberry cabin sign
Six guys and a cute dog shared the space. This is Maya:
All we did was eat carbs:
And when night fell, we ate more carbs:
More carbs
Between carbs, some people read:
And when we were done carbing up, we were ready to go:
Maya and Kurt
The evening before I was kidnapped by a buncha twinks and forced to cocktail with them at 30 Degrees. I was able to break away before they went to Apex by distracting them with a cell phone text message.

Posted by jimbo at 5:33 PM | Comments (4)

November 23, 2006

My God, we're full of carbs!

carbs.jpgHappy Carb Day. Tonight me and Jim are going to Apex to rob twinks by threatening to feed them mashed potatoes and stuffing. "I'll Carb you Bitch!" Later on we'll head to the bathrooms to see how much of today's dinners were thrown up in the bathroom.

The photo depicts you, later this evening, morbidly obese from all the carbs.

At one of tonight's meals, I pulled out my glazed beets in one of the old ceramic trays I inhereted to take to college, which has got to be at least 20 years old or older. Someone piped up and said, "OMG, FAAABULOUS Corningware!" I'm so Old Skool I'm back again.

Posted by jimbo at 12:53 PM | Comments (8)

November 22, 2006

I live you long time, or, Logan Circle's Run

I saw an old friend on 17th street last night and we caught up on gossip and stuff. Lately I've been able to say "No drama" when asked how I'm doing, and it's generally true, and it's good to be that way. But he admitted to being stressed out lately about his impending 70th bithday - which is to happen in 14 years. I didn't understand what he was worried about, and he explained that he has only started to worry about aging issues. He's HIV+ and didn't expect to get past 50, and now here he is thinking about being 70, and he is completely caught off guard. I mean, look at some guys who are constantly kvetching about being in their mid-30s, and he ain't even 40 yet. Imagine such psyches managing feelings and thoughts about being 60.

The concept of aging is frightening to many gay men, if they are thinking about it at all. When we come out into this wonderful Neverland, no one grows old, gets sick or stops having fun, and the party never stops. Everyone is beautiful and young, and no one has a saggy body. There's no time to think about growing old, since no one seems to. Old people seem to disappear somewhere, replaced by a new crop of beautiful young men every year. And a lot of gays aren't planning on growing old, judging by the number of bug chasers who e-mail Joe.My.God each week (And no, Mom, I'm not a bug chaser. That's why I wear condoms and have my partners do the same.). I have heard stories of frequent JRs patrons who who drop off the face of the earth once they pass the age of 24 or gain 5 pounds, thinking their life is over, much like in the sci-fi classic Logan's Run where the aged remove themselves via the Carousel ritual. Some of these twinks choose Carousel much earlier than those in the film.

Aging is not part of the culture that many of us embrace at the expense of the hetero world, and that's a problem. Are you thinking about retirement, heart disease, or the credit card debt that's built up from all your fabulous trips to circuit parties across the country? If you're past 30, are you getting a physical exam every year? (If not, I know of a physician's assistant who gives GREAT prostate exams...)

We are often so absorbed with HIV/AIDS issues that we don't often think about some of the basic things that pursue people in our later years. It turns out my friend who passed away this spring died of heart disease. Have you done a testicular exam lately?

And despite the morbid news about AIDS and kidney failure mortaility due to the ravages of HIV meds among our people, for some lucky few life will find a way, despite the suicidal quest to be as piggy and hedonistic as we can possibly be. God forbid we should deny ourselves any small pleasure, but an unexpected consequence of all this might be - nothing but survival. For some, this is a punishment worse than death, for they will have to deal with responsibilities not thought of before. Debt Queens (and I know you're out there...) are you ready to face the music?

At what point in your life are you going to be when this realization hits? There will come a time when you outgrow the circuit, cocktail, gym or bug-chasing lifestyle, and where will you be? Are you going to be in debt, with no savings for the twilight years that you'd rather not have thought about? Have you thought about what you're going to do for fun once you realize the wheelchair access at Apex is unacceptable? Are you ready to live life beyond forty?

Posted by jimbo at 11:34 AM | Comments (13)

November 21, 2006

Gurl has a Stove Top Stuffing fetish

So last night we were watching Heroes at Gurl's house, and while scrounging for food in her cupboards I came across 14 boxes of Stove Top Stuffing. Now I'm overjoyed that she has a taste for this delightful delicacy, but I was the one assigned to bring it for her dinner on Thursday! Now she's either got a Stove Top fetish, or didn't trust my cooking skills with crouton dishes...

Damn, with 25 comments on yesterday's 'brining' post, you people are sure passionate about how you cook. Brining is still retarded, however.

Anyhow, with Claire the Cheerleader saved on Heroes, we can all breathe easy over the holiday.

Good News: Xanadu broadway musical still in progress. For those of you in the know in NYC, if you can tag me some tickets for the official show, count me up there on short notice. I am SO THERE!
Bad News: Peter Jackson not gonna do a live-action movie of The Hobbit. Waaah, I was looking forward to that.

Here's a pic from the party I went to on Friday featuring (from left to right) Jason, moi, Kurtie and Steve.
party gurls
I will be going to a cabin in VA with Jason and Kurtie on Saturday. The weather outlook predicts cold weather, which is common this time of year in the area, but I read that the cabin is nice and toasty inside, albeit sans electricity. It should be fun!

Posted by jimbo at 5:52 PM | Comments (3)

November 20, 2006

Thanksgiving Voodoo

"OMG, you have to brine the turkey."

What the fuck is brining anyway? (Please don't answer...) That's something you do with pickles, not turkeys. Jeez, can't we just keep a holiday simple for once and follow the directions on the package? Is it necessary to gather 3,000 gallons of refined garlic oil so we can deep-fry the bird and risk a major home fire? How does this need to be any different than a typical evening meal? Stove Top, Turkey, Sweet Potatoes, Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans. It's that simple. Queens, settle down already!

For those of you mystified or terrified by the overprocessing of the upcoming holiday ( mostly by meticulous queens ), here's how it goes, the simple, easy, stress-free Jimbo Way:

Defrost > Remove Guts > Wash > Baste with Olive Oil > Add Salt and Pepper > Put in Pan & Tin Foil Tent > Follow roasting directions based on weight and time (read the directions on the bird) > Eat, Repeat.

It's that simple. No mysticism, no brining, no roiling vats of pitch involved. Settle down Queens. In fact I declare fatwah on brining, dzhuzzing, and all that overmeticulous bullshit. I want bushy untrimmed monobrows, belt not matching the shoes, clutter, no dry cleaning, and most of all hairy backs and shoulders! Enough!

Gawd, I just can't wait for Christmas...

Posted by jimbo at 8:04 AM | Comments (27)

November 19, 2006

GWM seeks reliable Ethiopian food carry-out service

Dukem sucks donkey dick. While I'm all for supporting local and multicultural businesses, Dukem Ethiopian restaurant at 1114 U St., NW sucks. I've been there for carry-out four times now, and they have a 50% success rate at getting food out quickly. Tonight at D&D we decided to try something other than Chinese or pizza, and I made the mistake of offering Ethiopian food as an alternative. So the 6 of us ordered a $60 tab at 5:30pm and were told to pick it up at 6pm. I arrived to get it at 6, which only served to remind them that they had to start cooking it. An hour and a half later they get our order done. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me, and I think they just don't know how to run a carry-out business. Anyhow, they suck, and there's plenty of other places to get food on U. Can anyone suggest a more reliable Ethiopian delivery or carry-out in the area?

Here's a photograph of tonight's pulse-pounding D&D encounter with animated statues in The Mud Sorceror's Tomb:
I had a fun weekend starting off with a crazy party on Friday for the season kick-off of a local g/l/bi/whatever ski and snowboard group. But a mere 6 beers on a Friday night will slow me down for the rest of the weekend I'm afraid. Probably another reason I don't often go out on Fridays anymore, as I just don't recover like I used to. But I did manage to clean up the front and back gardens, and put away my air conditioner, boxed up the drag and rugby stuff, so the house is in order now.

Posted by jimbo at 8:47 PM | Comments (6)

November 17, 2006

Qs & As

Answering various questions posed to me in the comments section the past couple of posts and in person:

Q: Jimbo, has your body/chest hair grown back after doing drag for Halloween? Does it itch?
A: The terrible itching on my chest has just started to abate after 2 weeks of irritation. It is now roughly 1/4" to 1/2" long. It even causes little red blotches where it curves in on my chest. I understand now how people with itchy beards hate a certain regrowth period. But it is good to see my fur coming back. I miss my fur. How do you club twinks do it? It is soo uncomfortable, unnecessary and unhuman! Fur is good! Trimming and shaving is for drag queens. I am going to grow my beard back nice and long(er) than my usual trimmed length as well, as it is that time of year to put on my young Kris Kringle red beard for the holiday season. However, there are about 6 grey whiskers coming in on the chin. This doesn't disturb me, only as long as you call me 'Daddy'.

Q: Jimbo, how are your eyes doing since your LASIK surgery?
A: Very well, thank you! The post-surgery dryness is a little problem on very dry days, requiring drops occasionally. But on typical humid DC days they're just fine. While birdwatching the first time with my new eyes I could see excellently. I can also see into the infrared and ultraviolet spectra, and deep into your soul. You've been bad, fyi.

Q: Jimbo, how are the antidepressants working?
A: Pretty good, thank you. And I can cum again, which the doctor promised but I feared I would never do again when I was starting up on the meds and temporarily could not shoot for a while. Anyway, the ups and downs have been shaved off and moods are more moderate, with fewer outbursts and dwellings on things. It really helps when I get good enough sleep too, which I don't do enough of. Working out regularly is a must.

Q: Jimbo, is your honey pot still on fire?
A: Yes, it continues to burn fiercely, and the simple flare has gone from a pulsar to supernova, and promises to progress to Black Hole status. But I don't just want sex...I want good and furry and muscley and intimate sex, which is hard to find. Yeah, I know I'm picky. I have been casting out, but nothin's biting. I think my assertiveness frightens people, especially in this town. You can now only show interest in another guy via electronic means, especially Manhunt. You may not cruise in public or in person, hit on, or greet another man you do not know in public, for it is Wrong and you will be Shunned. You can now only communicate with men through keyboard and digital connection, with no face photos.

Q: ThankYew4Shoppin'natSavvway, HowKinAhHepYew?
A: Let's start with eye contact and a little sincerity. And try not to sigh, roll your eyes, suck through your teeth or snap your gum while you're helping me. And I don't care when your next break is, as you're always talking about your fucking break every time I go through your line. It's in two hours, so shut the fuck up and get to work. Why don't you just not work if your break is so important to you?

Q: Jimbo, OMG did you see Heroes and BSG last week?
A: Of course I did. Wouldn't miss 'em for the world. I am currently in love with Helo, not Apollo, especially in his on-board uniform. He has adorable red sideburns (look closely) and a very handsome schnoz. I'm loving all the new things we are learning about the Cylons too.

Q: Jimbo, if you had a Heroes-like super power, what would it be?
A: I'm always losing things, and people, and I wish I could triangulate the location of anything I thought about...it was in some Xanth novel where a character could do that. Or have Iceman powers, like in the Spider-Man and Friends Iceman, with crazy ice surfing abilities. That would be cool.

Q: I'm soo cold. Aren't you cold?
A: No, I'm not cold. I'm Mr. Freeze, bitch. In fact I'm sweating my ass off and my underwear is wet because you keep asking to have the heat turned up. Did you know it's 95 degrees in here, and I'm wearing pants and a long-sleeved shirt? Meanwhile you're wearing Daisy Dukes, flip-flops, and a string top and it's November, you idiot. Put on some clothes, and get a metabolism before forcing the bus/office to be so uncomfortably hot for those of us with a pulse. And eat some food while you're at it, you look like Nicole.

Q: Jimbo, are you going home for the holidays?
A: I don't think so, neither for Thanksgiving nor Christmas. I burnt out on going home to Wisconsin in the winter a few years ago. Wisconsin is a beautiful place to visit in the summer, however, as there is much more to do and the weather is fantastic. I may go to a cabin with friends Thanksgiving weekend, and no, it's not because there's a love interest there, although that would be nice.

Posted by jimbo at 11:26 AM | Comments (13)

November 15, 2006

a nice night at the gym

Now that rugby season is over it's back to the gym on a more regular basis. It's tough when it's dark out after work, but I know I have to keep it up to fill the stress relief vacuum left where rugby would normally burn it away. Much thanks to Joe for the Happy Light! I will install it on my wall next to the computer this weekend.

Anyway, lately I've been going to the Washington Sports Club on Connecticut, north of DuPont Circle, as the one south of the Circle has become skanky and smells of mold and stale cum, and the management there doesn't replace missing cable machine handles and stuff. Plus, these days the Kalorama WSC has been smokin' hot for some reason, filled at all hours with something nice to look at. Demographics always shift from club to club, and I move to where I'm most motivated.

So I do my back-craking and stretching exercises, then go to the upstairs deck to do my abs, because if I wait until after my workout I don't always do them. The area is crowded with Jennifers doing six million sit-ups, but waay back in the corner are two 20-something guys apparently humping each other. Interested, I move to get the sit-up device nearest to them, and set it so I can watch them humping in the mirror while I do sit-ups.

Turning off my iPod to hear what they're saying, I can tell they're doing some kind of martial art/wrestling training wearing only shorts and tee-shirts, but no shoes or socks. I did a bit of wrestling back in high school, and even some Muay-Thai kickboxing in Kazakstan, but the moves these two are doing are really unfamiliar. One guy looked Jewishy and had a hot schozz (we'll call him Jacob), and the other has a buzzed head and beard scruff (let's call him Esau). Both Jacob and Esau had furry arms and legs, so much so that they almost had Hobbitt feet. And they were almost in constant contact with each other the entire time, limiting their moves to only a 6' by 6' area of the excercise mat we were all sharing. Considering their appearance and strange grappling moves, I can only surmise that they are practicing some kind of Jew-Fu.

As I begin my set of sit-ups, counting off one...two...three...I see them linking their legs and arms together much like two queens on a couch rolling on ecstacy. Then they come closer, cheek-to-cheek, and just kinda sweat and groan together. Entranced by this close and erotic display of Jew-Fu, I lose myself in my ab set and can't stop looking...

...5,648 reps later I realize I haven't been breathing or blinking for almost ten minutes, and they combatants are still at it. The Jennifers didn't seem to notice. I could do no more sit-ups and didn't want to tent my shorts in the gym, so moved on to do my legs.

It was a good night at the gym...the Jennifers weren't even monopolizing the leg ad/abductor machines, and I completed an entire superset for my legs without anyone asking to work in. Must have been the crazed look on my face. Mmmm...Jew-Fu...

Posted by jimbo at 11:02 PM | Comments (10)

November 14, 2006

NC, SC wildlife photos

I'm back from Kiawah Island, SC and Charlotte, NC after a nice long weekend vacation. The above picture is of a Golden Silk Spider, which was about as big as my palm. While it's good to be home I will miss the genuine southern friendliness we encountered down there, and the sunny warmth too.

This is my first attempt at posting photos saved to my Flickr account, we'll see how it goes. The interface is pretty interesting and user-friendly, and my webmistress will certainly appreciate me using server space elsewhere. More pics after the jump...

The Charlotte Royals and a few guys from Raleigh-Durham hosted us for the match, which we won. However there were only 15 of us there, so no substitutions, so a few of us were hobbling around by the end of it. I got the ball and gave a few good passes:
It was the last match of the season, and it'll be good to have a freer schedule for the winter:
get the ball
Boys from Durham and Raleigh were present, and I liked this particular posse of friendly bears, especially the one in the white cap. Wuuuufy beard:
Crazy gurls from Charlotte:
Charlotte boys
My wishes to see a gator were immediately granted the morning after our arrival to Kiawah Island, with a six-footer sunning itself outside our condo. Did you know they only need about 1.5 lbs. of food each week? I was wondering how they got so monstrous with just a small pond to live in. They apparently cannot eat much in the winter, especially if their body temperature drops below 75 degrees or so, as their innards are not warm enough to metabolize food. If they do eat during cold weather, the food rots in their stomach and they die:
These are white ibis, in off-season color. I got this one added to my list and the wood stork too. New word: crepuscular - a creature that is active mainly at twilight ( didn't make it up ) as opposed to a nocturnal or diurnal creature. "The best time to see a bobcat on Kiawah Island is at dusk or dawn, because it is a crepuscular mammal."
I think these are sanderlings, but I'm not good with shorebirds. But I think they're cute!
There was lots of Spanish moss hanging from the trees. I think Spanish moss is God's way of letting trees have weave extensions.

Posted by jimbo at 10:47 PM | Comments (6)

November 13, 2006

brief report from SC

I am still on Kiawah Island, near Charleston, SC After with Chip and BlogStar Brettie. Sorry for the lack of posts and unresponsive e-mail. My access to computers thus far has been limited to Macs, which are generally user unfriendly and unproductive to good writing.

Testudo!Wooo! Go Terps! Fear the Turtle! Hear us ROAR! Sam had some good passes on Saturday to lead a win against Florida. Sounded like it was an exciting game. Here's to a fun bowl and more exciting Terrapins Football.

I have not yet seen a real diamondback terrapin here, as apparently it is too late in the season. However, I have seen plenty of alligators both big and small, and I have pictures to prove it. We went on a birdwatching trip this morning and can now say I've checked off all the birds on the 'dark herons' page, with new inclusions of the tricolor heron, little blue heron, and even the wood stork.

We won our match against the Charlotte/Durham combined team, followed by a fun social at the Charlotte Eagle. Woofy pics to come. The Atlanta Bucks did not show up, and I have to say I am very, very disappointed with all the Atlanta boys (especially the redheads) because they let me down.

Posted by jimbo at 1:33 PM | Comments (8)

November 9, 2006

a toothy wildlife weekend

I'll be away from blogging most likely until Wednesday, as this weekend I'll be heading down to Charlotte, NC for a friendly set of rugby matches against the Charlotte and Atlanta teams. I am looking forward to it as the Atlanta guys are HOT and my frikkin' honey pot has been on fire for weeks. While there is a regional tournament up in NYC, we were just there in May and it'll be fun to head South for a change.

Anyway, speaking of getting riled up - Uncle Rufus is frikkin' hot.

Testudo!After the matches and debauchery me an Chip and BlogStar Brettie are heading to Kiawah Island, in Charleston, SC. It's about a 3-4 hour drive from Charlotte, on the Atlantic coast. I may be able to see a real Diamondback Terrapin and possibly some American Alligators. I will go so far as to go out at night with a flashlight to see one. I'll try to take pictures.

Speaking of awesome terrapins, howabout them Terps? We may get to a bowl this year. Props to the quarterback whose performance has improved a lot this season. The Terps were my first college football game ever. It was a lot of fun. So I guess I am both a Packer, a Terp and a Pointer (my undergrad alma mater) as well.

I think this weekend will be absolutely insane in DC due to the election results, especially amongst The Gays. I'm almost bummed I'll be away, as I think everyone will be out partying (except uptight closeted gay Republicans of course). For those in town on Saturday, November 11th, there is much to do. My buddy OMG DJ TM™ will be spinning at Cobalt, starting at 10. And I think Blowoff at the 9:30 Club will also be a total riot. There will be stories. Have fun in my stead.

Posted by jimbo at 11:03 AM | Comments (5)

November 8, 2006

it all comes down to 'macaca'

Whoa! Rumsfield to step down, the Dems sweep the House, and possibly the Senate, and Britney is about to divorce K-Fed! The changes are almost too much to comprehend. My head swims, the earth shakes. Clearly, the people have spoken, and hubris and arrogance has been the downfall of the Evil Empire. People would like to get some important shit done, can we start now?

Sadly, the mean anti-gay marriage amendments in VA and WI passed, and it looks like the people of Wisconsin are even bigger meanies (59/41) than Virginians (57/43). I'm pretty ashamed of the people of my home state, who would work to ensure the marginalization of another group of people. I had hoped for more tolerance and fairness from My Cheesy Peeps. But change is slow and some day they may turn around. On the bright side, Arizona is the first state to oppose such nasty amendments. Congrats, Homer and Chris!

I think The Gay would be quick to attribute Foley (remember him?) and the anti-gay stuff to the Repubs loss, but I think it was a lot of things, mostly Iraq. And Rumsfield's mean nasty self, general corruption, and perhaps people are tired of being told to be afraid of so many things. I think deep down people know life isn't quite so frightening, and can only be pushed down that road for so long.

And may I never meet another uptight semi- or fully-closeted gay Republican hill staffer ever again.

Posted by jimbo at 1:40 PM | Comments (10)

November 7, 2006

more drunk news from my hometown

More bad press from my hometown, or nearso in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. Basically young college kids get so drunk from binge drinking bad pilsner beer that they wander down to the banks of the Mississippi (yes, it's up there in Wisconsin too) River, fall in and drown. The locals are in such denial they'd rather believe it is a serial killer rather than a culturalized problem with alcohol consumption. It's kind of sad when news from your smallish town makes it into the Post because your kids are drunks.

I can't believe I'm saying this of all people, but it's time for some drinking abatement programs to start up there. Or at least awareness programs that drinking isn't the only thing you have to do on a Saturday night. There are options. Or that you don't have to drink more than a 6-pack to have fun. I think the concept of a single martini would be helpful. Nice buzz, but won't make you literally drown in your sorrows.

Posted by jimbo at 12:41 PM | Comments (3)

November 6, 2006

super-dirty mackerel weekend

Well we got our positive gay news this weekend with Doogie Howser coming out. That was a surprise to me, but then again I don't pay much attention to who's in/who's out, with the exception of the clearly loony ones who fascinate me. In most cases conjecture about who might be gay or not ususally focuses on who's the hottest, and in many cases it's just so much wishful thinking on the part of the gays. That and I have terrible gaydar. I've been soo wrong soo many times I don't bother anymore.

Josh came all the way in from Resthome, VA (Reston, 90 min. travel time by MetroRail!) just to watch BSG with the gang on Friday! He scored big marks with them by bringing Maker's Mark whiskey. We got drunk and stared agog at Apollo's remarkable weight loss.

On Saturday (and Sunday!) I slept in. Aaah. Only 1 rugby match left next weekend, down in Charlotte. I'm going with Chip and BlogStar Brettie somewhere in SC to a beach after the match, but I don't know where we're going. Anyway, the geek gang played D&D and then me and OMG DJ TM went out to the new BeBar. Fuck, it was expensive. I blew $50, but got an incredible buzz from only 3 cosmos and became a durrrty mackerel. 2 old flames were there, with whom I macked heartily, much to the horror of those upstanding gays around me who all also have headless online profiles of themselves with the words 'uninhibited' in the profile text. Anyway, I also hear that there was much dirty mackereling going on elsewhere that weekend, as a certain hot bearded svelte ex-Beaverhausen was in town for a visit. Sadly, I missed seeing His Wuuufness in person. Anyhow, I don't think BeBar should be so expensive...the 'hood it's in isn't quite so safe just yet. Pay a $5 cover after risking a knifing on the walk there? No way!

Yes, I know the new Kelly video is out. Thank you.

I am trying not to think about tomorrow. I've been invited to a few election night parties (a DC thing for sure) but I don't see the potential doom of the election of any additional Republicans as a spectator sport. The only thing about it that I like is seeing Tim Russert tired as hell at 1 in the morning. Now that's funny. Anyhow, Virginia is very likely to get a very mean anti-gay marriage amendment. Should it pass, Virginia will never see my dollar again. I will only pass through the state if I absolutely have to. Virginia sucks and is a backward place that deserves to get pulled into an antimatter space-time conjoinment and end up in an alternate dimension.

I am also concerned about Wisconsin's anti-gay marriage amendment. Actually, I'm more concerned about the character of a state that was once progressive and 'live-and-let-live' but now seems to be getting more and more uptight, I think due in part to massive suburbanization. Suburbanization promotes sameness and a fear of difference. Those people do not interact with people outside their class and cultural groups, and are more likely to not know any gays (or blacks, or etc., etc.). Anyhow, I can't help going back there to visit family, but I hope the state votes on the side of fairness. I will be making some calls tonight, very much preaching to the choir, but it's important to speak my peace.

I had high hopes of meeting up with a hot bearded redhead this weekend, but he flaked out. I hate it when they don't have the balls to say they're not interested, or say to your face "I'll call you back" but don't. There are nicer ways to back out without flaking out. Some people suck and have no spine. Anyhow, the redhead was a hottie and I'm disappointed it didn't work out, although I suspect by his sketchy behavior that he already has a boyfriend.

That's not to say I haven't had some very nice dates though. About a month ago I met a very nice, intelligent, bearded, geeky (a good thing), well-traveled man also orginally from Wisconsin. With all those factors you'd have thought it would work out, but one thing was missing - any kind of spark. There's no reason for the lack of it, and it can never be explained, but I now it when I [don't] feel it by now. That was disappointing, but it was good to get reassurance that there are still some good guys out there. When you're single and dating, the turkeys out there can be very discouraging for a hopeful romantic, and shitty behavior makes you want to quit. Anyhow, the lesson learned with this good guy is that commonalities are not necessarily a guarantee for romance or compatibility. Sometimes it's just an undescribable thing that makes you want to be with someone, even when you have little in common.

Posted by jimbo at 11:10 AM | Comments (7)

November 3, 2006

hot, out, gay biologist discovers new crab species

Delicious. Say it with me, slowly, with feeling, right there in your cubicle: dee-lishhh-usss. That describes the stench of Republican party and evangelical movement implosion under the weight of their own hypocricy. I love it.

Golly, there sure are a lot of closeted uptight gay Republicans out there working as hard as they can to demonize gays, yet behind closed doors they are snorting crystal meth and getting fucked hard. Fuckers.

MikeJones.gifThis just in: Haggard's ho (left), Mike Jones, is kinda hot.

Anyway, homos police their own, and we are reminded how small our world really is. These days there seems to be more outings than ever before, due in part a lot of times to the speed of the internet and its various media forms, like blogs. Note to any of you closeted uptight gay Republicans and hypocrites working against happy out gay people: we are going to get you, so you better turn it down or else. If someone wants to be closeted, fine, but when you actively work against people who aren't, we're going to fight back, and you have a great weakness in your supposed secrecy. We will find that weakness and exploit it, and we will expose you.

But the downside of all these delicious outings of these hypocrites in the media is that most of the stories about these people are sad and negative. It is possibly the only news many heteros get about gays, so I worry that negative stereotypes are being fortified. Sad closeted gay politician is a chicken hawk. Sad closeted gay religious guy likes hos and Tina. Sad closeted gay entertainer froths at the mouth and jumps on couches and is slowly going crazy. Everyday news, or good gay news, just doesn't make the news that often. It would be nice to read stuff like this once in a while:

- Happy, out gay man makes rent/car payments for 8th consecutive month in a row;
- Out happy gay man spots migrating white-throated sparrow outside his bathroom window, determines bird is from Canada en route to Mexico;
- Out happy gay man has relatively calm, drama-free week. Goes out for drinks on Friday.

The Crab People will make you overBut I guess that's what blogs are for. Oh wait! I know some good happy out gay news! I know of a very hot, out red-headed genius gay biologist who was part of a research team that recently discovered hundreds of new reef species off the shores of Hawaii. On this trip said hot out gay biologist discovered his own species of crab, which I hope he names after me. Sadly, he cannot disclose pictures or more information until the official academic paper or article is released, but I'll fill you in as soon as possible. How come so many new species were found there? Sea says, "We were 2 days under sail from
Honolulu. What research has gone on out there has been focused on big flashy endangered species, like monk seals, and albatrosses, but the little things have recieved little attention."

Sea found this new crab using good 'ol curiosity:

"I found the crab by flipping rubble in about 60ft of water. Just like looking for salamanders when you were little. I didn't know it was a new species until I was told by my advisor. I did recognize it as something I had never seen before, and as a beautiful little crab."
Since early youth, Sea has had a deep appreciation and curiosity for all critters, and still does to this day. I think Sea will be a great and famous biologist some day.

It's not big happy out gay news, but happy out gay news nontheless. There you go. Happy out hot gay biologist makes a new discovery.

So what is your happy out gay man or sparkly out lesbian everyday news? Same goes for you gay-friendly breeders. What is your small, positive, average, mildly interesting quasi-newsworthy accomplishment this week?

Posted by jimbo at 11:17 AM | Comments (16)

November 2, 2006

please read the fine print, hon

Every once in a while I'll get a message like this to my Friendster account:

From: marla
Date: Thursday, November 2, 2006 5:54 AM
Subject: your picture is stunning
Message: hello,my name is Marla J>>>> from Long Island, New York....i saw your picture and profile on the Friendster.com and i like to learn more about you...i am Christian single and still looking...you can e-mail me on (m_______@yahoo.com)or you can also contact me on my yahoo messanger id(m>>>>>>>>>)add me up so we can chat better...have a blessed day.

Oh Sweetie, thank you for the compliments. I can't get enough of them as I'm still single too and need the occasional boost when dating in this town gets me down. But did you read this part of my profile?

Interested in Meeting People for: Relationship Men, Dating Men, Friends, Activity Partners

I guess we could go fishing together, but that would be the extent of it. I like big, hairy men with scruff or facial hair and a penis. It doesn't have to be a huge penis, in fact, I find medium-sized penises to be more manageable. But anyway, honey, you don't have one of those, so have a blessed day yourself.

Last night during running Piranha Sean noted that "This fall is like spring," in regards to horny people running around. I conjectured that people are trying to get hooked up for the winter so they have something warm to snuggle up to. Whereas spring puts people in rutting mode, fall makes people look for sources of warmth.

I went to watch SawIII with a warm cuddly furry creature last night. The theatre was mostly empty, as I guess most people went out Halloween night. Anyhow, no gore flick should have that much dialogue for the killer and his accomplice. They were killing me with boredom! Somebody please help me!!! Please, just STFU and kill someone!

Posted by jimbo at 2:12 PM | Comments (4)

November 1, 2006

flying hunks, fraternities, and offerings of cheese curds

Here's Adrian Pasdar as his character, candidate Petrelli, after making a hasty landing from his first real flight attempt. He is snarling. Note the halo of fur on his arms, and the light spritzing of Persian fur on his chest. And his impish cut-ness that reminds me of some kind of dusky pixie spotted in the oakenwoods:
OK, shit like this disturbs me:

At age 29 if you’re dating a chick, how big of a problem is it if you’re digging through her desk and you find out that she was lying about what sorority she was in. This happened to a friend of mine.

RE: Lying about Greek affiliation
Posted By: problem on 10-19-2006 11:23 am
I think that’s a bit of an issue. More than the lying, you don’t want to date a girl who couldn’t get into a good house. It spells problems down the road.

Apparently this vile hetero groupthink is rampant in the Late Night Shots fratboys and Jennifers-only parties.

However, it may explain the odd East Coast/Mid-Atlantic/New England behavior I've encountered here in DC. I'm from Wisconsin, and the further away you get from Texas, the less important the Greek system is. That and social heirarchy bullshit that these white people espouse. However, some of it surely oozes into the gay community, which might explain the shocked responses and behavior I get when trying to be friendly. Where I'm from, you can resume a conversation you started with a stranger in line at the grocery store a year ago, and approaching someone is not a proclaimation of marriage, just an attempt at idle chat. We are asking, "how's the weather?" not "who were you talking to at Hawk and Dove Tuesday night, you know, the guy in the suit who looked like a Hill staffer?" We are actually asking about the weather. There's no hyperbole or double-meaning in the question. We might even offer cheese curds or free zucchini from our garden. Please don't be threatened.

At 35, it's almost cute that I'm still naive about this sort of thing. Does life have to be so complicated that your Greek title means so much to others? Clearly these heteros aren't getting fucked good enough. Start a training course in technique instead of worrying about her Greek sorority affiliation. You couldn't pork a hot dog bun, frat boy. Plus you have no personality, and your cock is really small, and your Miatta is SOOO GAY!

Posted by jimbo at 9:50 AM | Comments (10)