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October 18, 2006
when contractors ruled the world
I've been at home all stuffed up and sicky with a cold. A mere walk to the grocery store for vitamin C products had me all tuckered out. On the way there I noticed how contractors rule DC during the day. Every side of every block has a construction van or truck, gutting or fixing up this house or that. I suppose it's better than urban decay, but it's interesting how this city transforms between 9 to 5 and the evening during the week.
This week I celebrate three years at a single job - the longest I've ever been in a job. Between Peace Corps, various seasonal park ranger jobs and a ride on the dot-com boom and bust, I have never been in a position so long. This longevity will certainly improve my resume, although I am unsure that my current workplace will become my career. I am currently comfortable in the position, and feel like I just got into the swing of things recently. My desktop publishing and media relations experience has really improved, and I'm happy to say I'm doing less HTML than in past jobs. I did not like being a code jockey. In general, I like my job, my work environment and coworkers, which I suppose is why I'm still there.
During a dinner discussion earlier this week with a person nearly 10 years younger than me, he mentioned coming out in the age of the Internet. I can hardly imagine the resources you can find and take advantage of when coming out today. Back when I came out all we had was the public or university library, or you would have to take a road trip to the big city to find gay periodicals. Now you can access it anywhere, from anywhere. Is it easier for youth to come out today? Will there be fewer closeted politicians from Idaho in the future? I'm not sure...a simple search on the Internet could reveal just as many harmful messages as positive ones to those coming out. And it's easier to hook up and remain closeted, and worse, not be exposed to safe-sex messages before you do. It is perhaps too easy today to dive into things without a good knowledge base, since there's so much information out there to sift through. I wonder what a closeted or questioning young gay person thinks when they come to view this blog?
Boise 2 Men:
One more thought on the dead-horse, beaten, issue of outing anti-gay gay politicians: there seems to be surges in these outings every decade or so, which happen when The Gay gets too pissed off. It seems closeted, anti-gay politicians should be aware of this sentiment if they want to remain closeted...one anti-gay vote too many, or too much pressure on the Queens, and The Gay unites and revolts - otherwise we're spending our time ripping each other apart, but that's another issue. If there's anything I've learned in this town is that DC is a very small place, and there isn't a whole lot of room for complete anonymity. Whatever you do will be seen, heard, talked about, embellished or outright fabricated, especially if you're pissing people off.
Posted by jimbo at October 18, 2006 5:43 PM
Comments
Since I'm your elder I'll note that I didn't see a positive thing about the Gays on tv until 1985, when "Consenting Adults" appeared. I went to U of Michigan at the time and the Advocate was kept up in the inaccessible Rare Book Room because it was considered radical literature. There was a literary magazine, Christopher Street, but that was always stolen from the library. I was too scared to go to the gay bars because someone might see me. Things improved immensely when I came out later that year.
Posted by: homer at October 18, 2006 7:19 PM
I remember the first places to go for sustenance being online, porn or otherwise. In fact I cut my teeth on gay IRC channels, pic sharing, web chats and the like. I think I even remember the first obviously porny picture I owned, which was just half nudity, but still such a thrill. I was primed to come out the first month of college, and felt like it was time.
Posted by: copperred at October 18, 2006 11:05 PM
I remember my public library had a book called "Independance Day" in the young adult section about a teen trying to deal with his feelings for his best friend. I couldn't check it out because my parents might find it (I was about 14 or so) so I found a quiet corner and read as much of it as I could. Many years later after discovering Lambda Rising I asked someone about it and it was permanantly out of print, but I found a worn copy in their out of print section, and bought it. I still have it to this day.
Posted by: Brendan at October 19, 2006 2:14 AM
You are NEVER anonymous in the blog world!
Posted by: First mom at October 19, 2006 3:04 AM
From an Acela-rated distance, DC also seems to be a place of guilt where some men roll dice with their lives, almost wanting to be outed. Several years ago, we went to a bath house in DC (owned by the men who also owned the Safari Club in Boston). I met a Congressional staffer that night who gave me his card without even getting my last name. It struck me as foolish and dangerous. I saved the card, tossing it into our box of ephemera. After I finish my coffee, I'm going to look for it, but, as you say, I'd never Out anyone who didn't piss me off, and the sight of that guy with his boxer shorts pulled down over his face, talking through the fly, was sweet.
Posted by: farmboyz at October 19, 2006 7:26 AM
As one who came out in the internet age, it can be overwhelming. While there may have been a fear of the unkown for people who came out prior to the internet and outside of big cities, the wealth of informatin that is now availble can possibly expose confused gays to information they really don't need to know about, or emphasizing things that don't need emphasis. Excuse my inability to better articulate and include an example. That being said, I don't feel negatively affected by it, and I'm not sure where I am going with this, but I felt compelled to share. Perhaps I'll think about it a bit more and write something more substantial. Feel better, 'migo!
Posted by: Pete at October 19, 2006 10:38 AM
The flip side is that back in the day you actually had to get your nerve up at some point in your life and go where the people were and actually learn the skills to do what it takes to meet people. It's great that all the resources and all are now so easily available, and there's lots of positive role models that weren't as readily apparant before, and the spectre of early death and watching helplessly while all your best buddies got sick and died young isn't as present and pervasive as it once was - but for how many kids today does their social experience consist almost exclusively of sitting alone in front of a computer? Sometimes I'm not sure if the tradeoff is worth it.
Posted by: Andy at October 19, 2006 10:49 AM
I couldn't even go to the library. Anyway, it is nicer today and you are right about the plethera of good and bad messages out there. My advice to the new gays is take it slow. You have your whole life to discover being gay, then become gay, get jaded over it, and finally wonder why everyone makes such a big deal about being gay in the first place. Oh wait? that's me. What was my point again?
As for dead horses, I say beat that mofo till his legs fall off!
Feel better Jimbo!
Posted by: moby at October 20, 2006 11:28 AM