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October 9, 2006
Fat Apollo Jokes
So last Friday's Battlestar Galactica premiere was awesome. I was really wondering where they would go with the New Caprica storyline. In fact I didn't believe it was happening and thought it was a dream sequence. But it appears that New Caprica is clearly Iraq, and they Cylons are the U.S. occupational forces. I preferred seasons 1 and 2 where this metaphor was a bit more subtle. They all but screamed it at us on Friday.
We won't be seeing Jamie Bamber in his full hotness due to a large amount of prosthetics to make him fat. You can only wonder what the scuttlebutt on the Pegasus deck sounds like...
"How did Apollo get so fat after he got command of the Pegasus?"
"Nobody showed him where the gym was..."
"Did you hear that we have a new Battlestar in the fleet?"
"Yeah, our fleet now consists of Battlestars Galactica, Pegasus and Apollo."
"Did you hear that the secret Cylon project to create a replica of Lee Adama failed?"
"Really?! What happened?"
"They couldn't find enough resources to build a life-size model..."
"How many Cylon Centurions do you need to take down Commander Apollo?"
Finish this punchline or add your own Fat Apollo jokes in the comments section.
Posted by jimbo at October 9, 2006 6:44 PM
Comments
"Depends. Is he walking or rolling?" I'm bad at punchlines not involving sex.
I picked up seasons one and two on DVD, so I can catch up. Newsweek did an article on the first episode, its political weight needs to be made clear to the dolts who voted for Bush twice. I enjoyed it, both in spite of the "shouting" and because of it.
Actually I've always thought of the Cylons as Christians, the right-wing crazy variety, with their constant preaching and their fanaticism.
Posted by: copperred at October 9, 2006 9:27 PM
When Commander Apollo sits around the ship, he sits around the ship!
Posted by: emawkc at October 9, 2006 10:48 PM
Yeah, the allegory was a little more transparent than usual, but what I really enjoy about all of these metaphors is their ability to be applied to either side of the conflict. Like copperred said, he views the Cylons and Christians, but even Rosalyn has her crazy fanatical "I-was-chosen-to-lead-you-to-earth" moments. At the one hour mark of the show, I threw my fist in the air and shouted, "Fuck yeah!"
The ending was totally rad. I didn't really like the "introduction" of Jammer and that suicide-bomber, but I guess they had to tie the webisodes in somehow. (And those webisodes were a total joke!)
So say we all.
Posted by: jeremy at October 10, 2006 2:16 AM
Commander Apollo is so fat, he needs his own FTL drive.
Posted by: Markie at October 10, 2006 8:55 AM
Huh?
Posted by: Herb at October 10, 2006 10:08 AM
Loved it but found myself wondering why they didn't give screenwriting credits to The Great Escape (circa 1963).
Posted by: Michele at October 10, 2006 10:41 AM
He's fat for TV, but half of the guys I know are fatter....and not because I hang out with bears.
he actually looks thinner than 75% of American men!
Posted by: bryce at October 10, 2006 10:56 AM
Apollo may have lost his edge but he didn't lose his way to the mushie jar and the tube of budget Tan-in-a-Can.
Posted by: palochi at October 10, 2006 1:04 PM
If I wanted to be drowned in the philosophical debate of leaving someone in misery or challenging the status quo i'll do it online. I really was bored by the way they rolled out the iraq war parallel. After all if they want to play relativism, whose to say that the polythesistic religion of the Capricons didn't cause the problems in the first place? Or that the cyclons were within their rights to overthrow them? Besides it can't be bothering the cylons that much they can just regenerate can't they? Or did I miss something from the webisodes?
Posted by: tim at October 10, 2006 4:39 PM
Actually, I read in an interview with Moore and the other writers of Galactica, The Story line is actually based on past historical events regarding occupations. The main influence being Nazi Occupied France. As well as Japanese Occupied Korea, those two are the main influences for the current New Caprica Occupation. Along with European colonization of the Americas etc etc. So Depending on which era your from, you will see it as Contemperary.
Regarding the Cylon God... there was a hint at the Convention Rob and I went to with Jamie telling us info about his "SPecial FX weight gain" He let it slip out that the Cylon God was based on a character from the original series... can we say Count Iblis ;-)
I am more interested in the Mind frack the Cylon Iberon is giving to Starbuck. And her mind fuck back.
Rob and I found out a lot of stuff regarding Season Three.. but Rob will deny me beer of I tell ;-)
Posted by: Dax at October 10, 2006 8:38 PM
Apollo is so fat (Cue audience: "How fat is he?") that when Dee said "Cylon!" he thought she said "Pie, mon!" and he asked for another slice.
Posted by: addict at October 10, 2006 11:05 PM
and i'm sure i can't convince anyone here to give veronica mars a shot--but the first two episodes used "frak".
Posted by: jeremy at October 11, 2006 3:14 AM
One of MWK's cats is called "Frak." Hilarity has ensued.
Posted by: John at October 13, 2006 1:19 PM