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August 4, 2006
a rhetorical analysis of George Michael's rant in the park
Now what kind of eco-freak in DC would recommend that someone plant a sod roof and use it as a prairie chicken habitat?
I assured Mari that the introduction of the Greater Prairie Chicken (Tympanuchus cupido pinnatus) into Shaw would guarantee some very early morning wake-up calls.
Speaking of wake-up music, OMG DJ TM™ is spinning this Saturday at Cobalt. I plan on going to shake it, pre-disco cocktails at my place beforehand. I certainly have plenty, as I didn't bring any booze along with the small horde I invited with me to Chris and Chrisafer's party. Mental note: it is rude not to bring alcohol to a party, especially when you're also bringing 20 other people...
The dude with the porn star 'stache playing Albert Einstein at the Keegan Theatre's production of Steve Martin's Picasso at the Lapin Agile is kinda hot. I'm just sayin'...
This dude on the right from MetroWeekly's Scene section is also kinda hot. I think he works out at my gym, and I was checking him out on Monday but wasn't sure if he was gay or not. Looks like it's time to head out to the Eagle some time soon...say hi from Jimbo if you know him. Speaking of the gym, my more regular attendance has got me down to my pre-P-Town goal of 175, from a winter weight of 180. Rugby doesn't necessarily keep the wieght down for some reason. It takes regular cardio to burn it off these days.
Let's take a close look at some of the things George Michael had to say to the press as they caught him cruising in a public park north of London, OK?
"I don't believe it!"
Believe it, Sister. What part of fame didn't you understand?
"This is my culture!"
Whose culture? Not mine. Like I've said before, no one is forcing you to subscribe to a certain set of behaviors, language or acts. Think of it as more of a buffet, where you may choose or reject the lima beans, Jell-O or red beets. (Mmm...beets).
I've seen this pitfall with acquaintances in the past. In one case, a guy was defending his drug use/abuse to his concerned family since doing drugs is part of being gay. Another guy I knew who also believed in that connection had to renounce being gay, since being gay meant going to clubs and going to clubs means doing drugs, so therefore if one has to kick drugs one needs to renounce being gay. Get it? And today he's no longer gay. Hey, if someone's got a substance abuse problem, I'm all for whatever it takes to kick it.
Anyhow, like the above examples, just because one is gay does not mean one must or has the right to cruise in the park. It just means you're into the hunt, or terribly desperate.
"I'm not doing anything illegal!"
Well George, I'm all for multiple use management of city, county, state and federal recreational property, but some uses are incompatible with other public uses. For example, you shouldn't allow hunting where there are campgrounds. Backcountry wilderness backpackers don't like the sound of ATVs or chainsaws. Likewise, dog walkers and people with children don't like to see your failed liposuction saddlebags jiggling in response to the carnal acts of a frumpy lorry driver working you up and down. Don't you have enough money to get yourself taken care of at home?
"I can do whatever I want!"
Of course you can. Start with a lampshade over your head and go from there.
Posted by jimbo at August 4, 2006 11:15 AM
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Comments
Wasn't George crawling through the bushes in an effort to protect the habitat of the endangered Trouser Worm?
Posted by: homer at August 4, 2006 12:57 PM
Oh, wow, Einstein is a hottie. Maybe the bowtie helps.
Posted by: matt at August 4, 2006 1:27 PM
The dude on the left--in the tight black tank--is really rocking my world!!
Posted by: Jason at August 4, 2006 2:19 PM
George Michael is a cesspool of anal warts and crabs. He must be. His music too.
I could never go cruising in a park. I'd be afraid the guy would end up with bad teef.
I have always had a crush on Paul Rudd. He has a nice butt.
Posted by: durban bud at August 4, 2006 4:17 PM
wow, paul r. can look this intense!
Posted by: jason at August 4, 2006 7:56 PM
Look on the bright side...at least he wasn't calling for the DC Eco-Peeps to bring in Guinea Fowl [Numida meleagris] to the city.
Posted by: wyocwby at August 5, 2006 7:54 PM
Yuck beets.
Posted by: Mike Prov1 at August 6, 2006 2:46 PM