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August 31, 2006

wet wishes, deep thoughts

OMG it's a Prince vs. Madonna dance party this Sunday at 10ish at the Black Cat. I hope it's not too crowded. Seriously though, while I love Prince's music, I can't really dance to it. The dancing blue ribbon goes to Madonna hands-down. MadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonnaMadonna!

I want it to rain. My garden wants it to rain. Our rugby pitch wants it to rain. Why won't it rain? I want Ernesto to come and park his wet soggy ass over the D.C. Metropolitan area for a couple of days. We've been teased by tantalizing thunderstorms for days but no rain. It takes at least 10 minutes of precipitation to penetrate the tree canopy above both of my gardens, or else it remains dry as a bone. Most people with yard plants don't realize this, and the brief thundershowers in this area don't do the trick to keep your plants watered. In late summer you have to water manually under the trees if you have plants there.

OK, my thoughts on Provincetown haven't congealed coherently yet, so I'll just write what's on my mind about it, and what I saw. The majority of people in P-town that weekend were older than me, between their 30s and 40s, predominantly coupled. Also, on a lot of the faces and bodies I was seeing the long-term effects of HIV meds, including the lipodystrophy, facial wasting, etc. I would contend at least 40% of the people I saw had that look going on. Just like at the Mid-Atlantic Leather celebration in January, I keep seeing more of that look in certain demographics, where I don't think the statistic of 1 in 10 people there are HIV+, it's more like 3-5 in 10 at least.

It's not the look or the serostatus that disturbs me, it's the numbers. I keep getting the feeling that in certain demographics, more people are poz than statistics say. From experience I know that people also lie about their HIV status, or sometimes even convince themselves that they are negative in their own minds (see: complete denial). If it's so easy to tell oneself or another a lie, it's easy to fudge a stat too. But I guess you can't lie on a blood test, but you can avoid one if you don't want to know the truth.

Again, I don't quite know what I'm saying here, but go here and here for more insight and discussion from Proceed at Your Own Risk and JoeMyGod, respectively.

I am HIV-, tested earlier this summer. On my hook-up site profiles I say very clearly, "HIV- and lookin' to stay that way," but that doesn't mean I won't hook up with or not date people who are HIV-, it just means I'm going to protect myself. I guess I am a product of when I came out, in the mid-90s when things were pretty scary with AIDS and HIV. There were education campaigns on how to play safe, and with a number of exceptions I can count on one hand, I've played it safe, I continue to do my best, and don't have much of a struggle doing so. I resolved when I came out that I would not be afraid of sex because of AIDS. But I also resolved I would put some latex on when I insert or am inserted. It has thus far not been a great sacrifice, and while I have barebacked, I don't see what the big deal is. It wasn't that much more of a mind-blowing orgazmic cosmicallifragilistic experience in my mind. Plus I also wear a condom to prevent wart or herpes transmission too, either on my dick or up my ass.

Flashback to two weeks ago in Provincetown: I'm with Adam in bed and he tells me he wants to fuck me raw, and I simply reply calmly and clearly, "No, let's put a condom on." He wasn't upset or embarassed, and neither was I, and we still had a hot time despite not having bitten from the forbidden fruit of barebacking.

So I guess I am disturbed as to why so many are HIV+ in these demographics ("leather community" and Provincetown vacationers, for example). In a nutshell, the majority of these people got their HIV status from getting fucked bareback (without a condom) by someone who was HIV+. And they did it after we all learned how not to become HIV+.

Sometimes I believe I will be in a minority of sorts when I reach my 40s, as I plan on keeping up my safe sex habits. I may have a family predisposition towards cancer, so by my 60s I don't predict I'll want to have to deal with complications due to HIV. I'll have other old person shit to deal with, and I do want to grow old. I do not buy the whole schtick about how one can "lead a normal life" on HIV meds when I have seen their deleterious effects first hand with a former roomate. The meds suck, they are expensive (you'd better have health insurance...), and wrack your body harshly if you react to them poorly. And I don't care what the whack activists say, HIV and AIDS can and does shorten your lifespan, as can the meds themselves. Sick is sick, and being sick from any virus simply sucks.

I guess I am unapologetic that I am HIV-, yet unafraid to have sex - but I have a certain kind of sex. I have sacrificed certain acts in order to preserve my health, and to date it has not been a big deal. I have seen some guys plunge into a monastic sexless lifestyle for fear of seroconversion, then going apeshit whorecrazy out of the blue with unsafe sex, then they become poz due to their extreme behavior vacillations. There is a middle ground somewhere, but people don't seem to know how to find it, and I don't know what the solution is, but I see these things and can only wonder what people are thinking, if they are thinking at all.


Posted by jimbo at 10:27 AM | Comments (8)

August 30, 2006

crazy-ass mothafukka

Matt Fucking LauerMatt Lauer shirtless has nothing to do with this post. But I hope the image of him makes you feel better, however.

I don't mean to steal his thunder, but I just started taking Cymbalta in preparation to keep the winter doldrums at bay this year. No bitches, it ain't Celebrex, although after my first rugby practice last night I might have to consider it. Maybe posting about pharmecuticals will keep all the comment SPAM at bay too - I'm going to try opening comments again today. Let's see if the shitstorm of SPAM is over.

Anyway, last winter I sunk into a dark pit, I think due in part to having moved into a mostly-lightless basement. I need my sunshine and light, and when it's gone I get real down. So I talked to my doctor about it, and he suggested starting in advance, not when the symptoms start. Plus I wasn't aware that I was depressed last winter until the sun started coming out more in the spring, when I could look back and see how dark my thoughts had become. There were other factors too: I was still getting over a good relationship that ended, a string of turkeys I had dated, and a particularly grey winter didn't help either. And you never know what else is eating you inside sometimes.

So anyway, the first side-effect I noticed from taking this drug was increased sweating, especially in the face. My face now tends to break out into a drippy sweat with the slightest exertion. Last night at practice I was able to wring my shirt out three times, which was absolutely disgusting. I sweat a lot as it is, and don't really need any help doing it. Sweating and delayed ejaculation. It now takes forever to shoot my load, which may be embarrassing to explain at a later date with someone. On the other hand, when I do shoot I shoot A LOT because I'm so worked up by then, so look out and close your eyes. Hopefully both side effects will subside with time.

On the upside, I do feel a little more even-keeled, haven't had an enraged outburst lately, and don't feel frustrated and hopeless at work. I am more productive at work. And I can get to sleep easier at night. It did not seem to affect my aggro at rugby last night, and I played smart.

I don't like the idea of taking medications for emotions, but last winter it got so bad it was affecting my relationships with people, and I did or said things that I don't think I would have done or said during sunnier months.

A friend once said to me, "The only time I've ever been on antidepressants is during Republican administrations," which may be a contributor too. In addition to the lack of work getting done by the President and an overriding feeling of hopelessness, helplessness and despair, there is depressing or silly news on all the time, be it war, constant infringements into our shrinking realm of civil liberties, the media trying and convicting innocent (but still creepy) people, all that Katrina and 9/11 stuff, and all the gloom and doom on the news. I think it's best to stick to Project Runway until 2008, and Battlestar Galactica will be starting up soon too.

And of course there's the ultimate placebo, City of Heroes. But you won't see me getting as apeshit crazy over a game like this kid does.

Posted by jimbo at 11:14 AM | Comments (14)

August 29, 2006

grab my tube

"Tos, stop grabbing my tube..."
Photo courtesy of Jason.

Posted by jimbo at 11:19 AM

August 27, 2006

unwarranted ass-fingering

Due to an overwhelming amount of comment SPAM, I've had to shut off comments and trackbacks until further notice. In the course of a mere hour I can get up to two dozen adSPAMs that I have to clear out manually, which is a pain in the ass. Some of it is really filthy porn, stuff even I wouldn't care to look at. The rest is mainly for performance enhancing drugs and gambling for the most part.

My weekend got better after Friday, where I broke my vow yet again to not to go to Woof at Titan. It was like a sweaty blast furnace in there, an environment where I wouldn't even confine an Iraqi prisoner as it was so inhumane. But I felt compelled to go as the rugby team was putting on a fundraiser, but all I did was try to find a cooler spot to stand. On my search I got my ass fingered twice as it was so corwded, not in a good way either. I don't mind it if my friends do it as a salutation, but when strangers try to do it all I can wonder is "What kind of reaction are you expecting?" Although some strangers were civil and did give a simple and courteous 'hello', which was nice. I got out of there as soon as possible, where the humid DC weather was actually cooler than inside. I don't dislike people, but I do dislike unnecessary heat, humidity, crowds and unwarranted ass-fingering.

On Saturday I went on a nice tubing trip down the Upper Potomac near Harper's Ferry, West Virginia, with a few scruffy bloggers, partners, and friends. In contrast to the last tubing trip I went on, conversation was pleasant and the floaters were predominantly furry, including TJ, Jason and Steve, Copperred Carl and several others. I embarassed Tos' partner by commenting on his wonderful blond chest fur. We took pictures with waterproof disposable cameras, which I have taken to the photomat to be developed and posted later this week. The water was low, but warm, and the scenery was nice all around.

Posted by jimbo at 9:18 PM | Comments (0)

August 25, 2006

more to chew on

A deluge of comment and backtrack SPAM attacks to this blog has me scrambling to clean it up as it comes in, even though we have MT Blacklist installed. Thus my blogging energy is being sucked up by heavy maintenance. If it continues I might have to close the comments, but usually it abates after a while. Anyway, for lack of pith, I give you this:
Here's to All-American college boys with woofy facial hair. I don't know who he is, so don't ask.

I am feeling better. The green guk has gone down. Our gas is restored. I have hot water. But I'm still crazed at work and it's taken a week to re-adjust from vacation. I didn't know I needed one so bad until I got to Provincetown.

Posted by jimbo at 12:23 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 23, 2006

chew on this

Picture of me stalking Cyndi Lauper in Provincetown, compliments of handsome hunky Dave from L.A.:
Cyndi Stalker
And here's handsome hunky Dave from L.A.:
quite the swimmer

Today Miss In-Shaw has some refreshing rhetoric on home ownership and remodeling:

Since I intend to stay in the house for a number of years I don't want to invest in something for somebody else...I live in this house with the idea that once I get rid of the crackhead features, it will be the best reflection of Me that I can afford. Resale is the furthest thing from my mind. I figure whoever comes after me will move in and tear down or paint over whatever they don't like. What I do for the house will be for me. The color and type of floors, the texture of the ceiling, the light fixtures, the tile in the bathroom, layout of the kitchen, all for me. Me. Me.

I like reading that. In many urban social circles, all you hear about is how to ready your home for resale and flipping, and there is often little to no non-monetary personal investment into the issue. Is your home yours or already belonging to the next owner? I want to get to know people who want to live here, and I want to live next to people who are interested in living in the city, not just taking advantage of a hot market. Anyone else is just an ephemeral passer-by looking to make a buck.

Posted by jimbo at 9:40 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 22, 2006


It's been a bit hectic this week, but I'm workin' on it. Since I got back from vacation I've had to get a new ATM card, as I lost the previous one in Boston before my trip. And I've had to deal with getting our gas service restored, which apparently was off all last week and the upstairs neighbors have had no hot water the whole time, so I have to hang around until Washington Gas shows up, which they promise to but never do. I've had a cold/flu/allergy thing going on in my lungs, which are coated with green guk which has been spewing out of my mouth, so I've been feeling a bit worn out lately. Work is a bear with a newsletter due, website redesign long overdue, and high drama going on which has everyone at work stressed out and demoralized. Plus there has been a deluge of comment SPAM coming into this blog that I've had to clean out constantly too. And I think a filling came out of my molars which I have to get checked out at the dentist. Oh, and post-vacation blues. So I've been kinda busy, so you must wait for pithy posts.

But I do have many thoughts to write down, some of which might get people riled up, so I have to think about what I'm gonna say before I write it, when I can find the time and energy. Until then go entertain yourself here:
I went to see 'Snakes on a Plane' and I'll have to say it's better than 'Brokeback Mountain'.

Posted by jimbo at 5:35 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 20, 2006

some parting shots

Saying bye-bye to Provincetown:

My hair was a mess on the ferry ride!


Posted by jimbo at 10:43 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 18, 2006

back to reality

Tonight I will meet up with Rusty and a few other gurls from DC for a last hurrah here on Cape Cod. I had never expected to vacation here, but when an offer for a cheap(ish) holiday is given during the manic days of spring, I will jump at the opportunity. At the moment I cannot say that Provincetown has been a life-changing experience as it is for so many, but it is certainly another dimension entirely, and I've had lots of fun. More on my feelings later when I've had time to think about gay culture and vacation and the nature of Provincetown itself.

Today I administered basic first aid to a 8-lesbian bike pile-up on the dunes trail. One woman had a bump on her head, and I told her friends to keep an eye on her, don't let her nap for the day, and watch out for yammering (more than normal). And if she pukes, it's a concussion for sure. Yesterday and the day before a juvenile (1st or 2nd year) American Bald Eagle was spotted just off the road where people park their bikes for the beach trek. Its large hooked sea-eagle beak and menacing talons were unmistakeable, but most people around me thought it was a crow or a buzzard due to its dark coloring. Bald Eagles don't develop their classic white plumage on the head and tail until their 4th and 5th years. From the platform at the visitor center I rode to today I spotted a small pod of humpback whales.

I hope for an effortless trip back to DC tomorrow, and I've worried about my basement spiders, who I'm sure missed me while I was gone. I imagine they will all wave to me when I come home, with at least three or four of their legs: "Hi Jimbo! We missed you!!!"

Posted by jimbo at 1:49 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 17, 2006

OMG (a very drunk post)

OMG shoes:
I think you have too many shoes
I now have new semi-casual shoes, and new running shoes. I think I have too many shoes.

OMG cute gay pug:
cute pug
Today was Carnival parade, the theme was Gay Paris and all that. The pug was cute.

OMG Rusty:
cute pug
Rusty had to like call Chrisafer and say "OMG jimbo is here!" and to like discover, horror of horrors, that I DON'T HAVE A CELL PHONE! And Rusty says, "Jimbo, you're not as Bearish as I thought!" Thanks, betch.

OMG Cyndi:
Miss Cyndi Fucking Lauper
CYNDI FUCKING LAUPER! Note To Bear Bodyguards Around Cyndi: Listen, I'm Scrummy, betch, and if you think you can shove me away from Her Unusualness you have another thing coming. I have a high-performance camera - this ain't no cell phone camera, betch - and I'm going to fucking use it on Cyndi, OK? Pappa-fucking-razzi, so suck my cock. Just put your feeble shoving back in your little Oshkosh B'Gosh overall pants pocket and suck it, because my shove is your love and you can't move me away because I'm Scrummy, betch!

OMG Drunk People in Line:
union of rum
We were brought together by a 40 minute wait for expensive drinks.

OMG more Drunk People:
This is Brad from DC. And because I look good in this picture.

OMG even more Drunk People:
Lee is woofy
I'm with the fucking DJ, betch.

Posted by jimbo at 7:58 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

a haiku for the man with thong & cottage cheese butt

Wherever I go,
there he is. The man with the
thong. Please make it stop.

Leatherback, not a
sea turtle, more like a broiled
sea cucumber man.

Stay out of the sun
oh leatherback thong creature.
Skin cancer awaits.

Posted by jimbo at 2:02 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 16, 2006

"God created Arrakis to train the faithful."

Today we went on a hike on the larger dunes outside of Provincetown proper:
This particular area has shacks where poets and artists can rent and concentrate in peace and quiet and write things like Duran Duran lyrics. With all the dunes, all I could think of was images from 'The Union of the Snake' video:
At the end of the trail I dipped into the ocean, totally nekked. It was nice, but no pictures for you.

There were nekked lesbians frolicking in the surf when we got there.

Jerry: "Look - naked lesbians."
Jimbo: "...and one of them has a penis!"
Jerry: "Huh?! Where?"
Jimbo: "Nyah-hah! Made you look!"

Posted by jimbo at 2:51 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 15, 2006

queens on a boat

Today we went on a sunset cruise off of Cape Cod with a buncha queens on a boat:
Dreamy Ron and Jimbo on cruise
It was really fun and there were tons 'o hotties, and...well, as my friend Bubba said, what plays in P-town stays in P-town. Anyway, the sunset was fabulous, despite the rainy day:
sunset on the Atlantic Ocean
On an unrelated note, here's a fine image caputred by Clickboo, entitled "Home Stretch."
Dreamy Ron and Jimbo on cruise

Posted by jimbo at 11:12 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 14, 2006

the deathmarches will continue until you have done everything gay in Provincetown

Day three of the Provincetown deathmarches continues. They have been dragging my bloodied carcass across this Cape against my will, starting from our base of operations, nonstop, no rest, no breaks, surviving only on cocktails and fabulous dinners. And between all these deathmarches I have relationships to destroy, and have only averaged 4 homewrecks per day. I must work harder! Anyway, the town web cam focuses right on our home, the mustard building. The arrow points to my window, and the circle is actually us:
83 Bradford
Today I broke up a couple from Denver, right after this picture was taken. The woofy one with the goatee is Alan, who is a very hot guy from Seattle. I really want to break up this couple, who live just downstairs. They don't ride their Harleys much, nor have asked me to ride with them.
The deathmarches thus far include: Commercial Street, Paramount at Crown and Anchor, Purgatory, Provincelands at the Cape Cod National Seashore, and tonight my carcass was dragged up all 116 steps and 60 ramps through the Pilgrim Memorial where my hair got messed up from the wind:
On the beach I held a rock pageant, as the stones on the beach were all so pretty, I couldn't decide which one was the prettiest:
After the rock pageant finals, I did some birdwatching:
Beyond the main berm into the dunes, the most interesting thing I spotted was some kind of seabird skeleton. There were primates wagging their genitals at me, but weren't as interesting as the seabird skeleton and fishes running at the forefront of the incoming tide.

Posted by jimbo at 6:52 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

August 13, 2006

Ya tebye pokazhu Kuzkenu matb!

I've been yearning for years to make a blog post from a popular gay beach, opening the blog entry with some pretentious phrase in a foreign language that makes an obtuse reference to the theme of my blog entry that no one really understands, and now I can. My life is nearly complete because of it.

Here's the view from our skylight in Provincetown. I have a fairly spacious pad, at a reasonable price in a good location. Not bad for a breakup special. I am here on the graces of one half of a breakup. The other flew off magnanimously and left me the space, so it was a bit cheaper than normal:

It took me like 20 minutes to find the best image manipulation program installed on a basic Windows/PC setup that does not have Photoshop, what a pain in the ass. Anyway, once I figured it out I can now post pictures of Dreamy Ron in his Speedos for those of you who asked:

Dreamy Ron

Ron and I are an excellent tag-team pair of wingmen for each other, to put it nicely. And people here are so friendly to both of us!

Jimbo, beach
Thus far I am the whitest creature on the beach, next to the beluga whale carcass that washed up earlier this week. With daily applications of sun and fun, this will change. Provincetown is very different than Washington, DC. Let's count the ways:

  • People are friendly and return a sincere "hello," rather than either ignoring you outright or saying hello so they can get your real estate portfolio. Even my snooty neighbors, who could not even return a nod on the street back in DC, stopped and chatted for 20 minutes! What's up with that?
  • It smells like brine here, the sky is clear, the air is very fresh (but briny), and it is nearly silent at night.
  • There are lots of gay couples on vacation here.
  • There are friendly Russian summer workers here, with whom I have been exercising my fading Russian language skills. The post entry tagline references a taunt declared by Nikita Kruschev in response to American aggression, that loosely translates to "Yo Mama" or "I will fucking crush your ass into paste." The metaphor I wish to express in its use is to declare a challenge to those who would tarnish my honor and integrity just to avoid addressing their own long-ignored issues.
  • Man, there's like a million supa-hot guys here and they are flirty, friendly and are total whores and don't bat an eye, and I love it.
  • I feel like I've been sucked into a time warp and am back in the 70's or something, but I'm playing safe and having lots of fun. And boy did I need an ego boost.
  • Posted by jimbo at 7:41 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

    August 12, 2006

    it's so gay here even the seagulls have a lisp

    Greetings from Provincetown! We didn't have the problems during airline security as expected - don't believe the hype on the news - it took us only 40 minutes to get through check-in. The catamaran boat that took us from Boston to Provincetown was pretty cool - and fast! I looked for whales but didn't spot any, as there was plenty to look at on board. After a deathmarch up and down Commercial Street like twelve times, they finally allowed me to take a nap - but only for 5 minutes before they made me scrub the floors before going out. Our pad is very nice, and when you look out of our skylight room you can see the wierd-lookin' Pilgrim memorial, which I want to go see up close. Of course, I will be birdwatching too. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out how to fiddle with cam pics to post some while I'm here.

    Posted by jimbo at 10:17 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

    August 11, 2006

    friday 'stache orgazmaganza

    Here's my Daddylicious and former blogger friend Bubba from Houston. Only the two images to the right are original, but I used the rubber stamp tool in Photoshop to porn'stachify the image on the left to illustrate the true 70s Porn Star 'Stache look. Now we love the fu and the woofy beard, but I had to show what this week's look was about:
    Daddy Bubba's Incarnations of Hotness

    It is important to point out the nice work shirts Bubba is wearing in the photos. Gurl, take me shopping with you!

    I would have to say this woofer, posing in front of a surrey with a fringe on top, is the 70s Porn 'Stache Week winner for rockin' the 'stache so well with his whole look:

    Surrey with a woofer on top

    Finally, here's an unrelated photo of me at the Nats game on Wednesday's Night Out with the Nationals at RFK stadium taken by Dinger. I think that's clickboo in the background:
    Jimbo at Nationals game at RFK
    I look so stern focusing on the delightful cotton crack sold there. I think it cost like $14.50 or something.

    Tomorrow I'm off to Provincetown for a week. Gotta get up at a godawful early hour to take off from Dull-ass Airport to get through the anti-gel security. I won't be packing lube in my carry-on.

    Posted by jimbo at 6:53 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

    August 10, 2006

    no hair gel for you

    security 'stacheI guess one good thing about this recent Red Alert is that we'll see MORE 70s porn star 'staches in the news, as with this woofer, Mr. James Adrian, LAPD. I guess it's a fitting news story to go along with this week's theme.

    As I recall during the heightened security alert immediately following 9/11, there was eye candy all over the place in DC, from the hot muscley air marshals to numerous woofy National Guardsmen scattered around DC and in the Metrorail stations.

    some dudeHowever, as some people have commented, Lieberman (basically Republican) Loss + BP Oil Leak + Lame Excuse to Raise Oil Prices = Red Alert. Until I see faces and proof, I just don't believe it. The news this week was too devastating to the powers that be for it to be mere coincidence.

    So in addition to having my cherished nose hair trimming scissors confiscated if I accidentally pack it in my carry on and/or having to take my shoes off because of that one moron with the shoe bomb, now we are all going to die of dehydration on the plane AND have NO HAIR GEL:

    The Transportation Security Administration announced that passengers on all U.S. flights, domestic and international, would be banned from transporting any type of liquid or gel in their carry-on luggage. The ban applies to all types of beverages, shampoo, toothpaste, hair gels and other items of a similar consistency, the TSA announced.

    LAWooferStache.jpgI can live without my hair gel during the flight, but I always pack a liter bottle of water, as the 1/4 cup of soda they give us is never enough for me, and sometimes I need more. Flights dehydrate me. So those airlines better frikkin' deliver more soda and water if I can't bring it on the plane myself. Pretty soon we'll all just be packaged in shrink wrap, put in a box, which are then put in protective compartments like egg cartons so we cannot endanger ourselves on a flight.

    Speaking of water, today's second 70s porn star 'stache is of some goofy Navy SEAL, but I don't know who he is, so don't ask, as I wouldn't tell anyway. He's cute though. The last guy is from The Mopod Show's Woof of the Week BigMuscleBear profile.

    Anyway, today's porn star 'stache theme is "blond 'staches".

    Posted by jimbo at 11:48 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

    August 9, 2006

    porn star 'stache: Josh Brolin

    Today Otterdoc submits a pornalicious 'stached pic of Josh Brolin from an indie film called Coastlines apparently released this summer but made the Sundance rounds some 3 years ago. 'Doc loves the combo of CHiPs-era uniform with navy-cop brawn. Although he doesn't have the hirsute potential of his dad, there's plenty there for porn stache qualification. 'Doc's crush goes all the way back to Goonies.

    Josh Brolin
    Rant du jour to follow in the extended entry later today...

    Posted by jimbo at 10:31 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    August 8, 2006

    70's Porn Star 'Stache Blogger Edition

    Jimbo's FuWhile the fu-manchu or handlebars doesn't really qualify as an official Porn Star Mustache, here's my attempt at a look a few years ago. In my opinion, a good Porn Star 'Stache does not hang over the sides of the mouth, and does not include the ultra-hip soul patch. Nor is it necessarily wooly or bushy. If I was a porn star, my name would be Brent Silver, fyi.

    DaddyNow here's Daddy Eric rockin' a fine example of a Porn Star 'Stache. Considering his recent encounter with a twink who referred to him as 'Daddy', I think he should keep the look. With a buzzed head and constant state of scruff, he should not be surprised at being referred to as someone of imposing authority.

    Daddy Now here's Joe.My.God rocking a near perfect porn star 'stache with Dreamy Dreamboat openly gay New York Attorney General candidate Sean Patrick Maloney. Cue cheesy Casio porn score. I'll bet Sean Patrick could grow a fine porn star 'stache as well.

    Sam ElliotHere's a nice porntastic 'stache on my friend Cobban from Bisbee, Arizona. I met Cobban (pronounced CUB-ban) this March on my trip to the southwest. Cobban is a long-time admirer of Sam Elliott and his various 'stache incarnations. If you tell him he looks like a younger Sam Elliott, he will melt and be eternally grateful.

    Remember, 'staches from the 80s or the Golden Era of Disco do not count! The Manhattan Offender submitted his recent shave-down, but the presence of surrounding scruff omits his submission from this category. The 'stache must stand alone. Chrisafer tells me "...lots of Hill staffers are having 'stache growing contests during the August recess", but I want to see photographic evidence of this.

    Posted by jimbo at 2:44 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

    August 7, 2006

    70's porn star 'stache week

    I think it is going to be 70's porn star 'stache week, because I've actually seen people with them lately - even in stuffy clean-cut DC. I'll have to admit I'm delighted to see stuff like this appearing again:
    Submissions welcome, but as with Rough Trade Week, some standards apply:

  • Photos must have been taken recently, not actually taken in the '70s.
  • Subjects must be 'stached and moderately hot, and preferrably a little trashy.
  • Cheesy porn star 'staches are best, but thick Tom Selleck 'staches are OK too. This week's theme is for both camp and woofy value together.
  • In other news, I took a peek at Who Wants to be a Superhero? last week. I was expecting a total trainwreck of a show, but it wasn't so bad. It was OK, but I wasn't convinced the contestants were actual people as opposed to actors. The whole thing seemed blatantly scripted with no spontaneity. Plus they booted off Levity, one of the 3 cute guys on the show. Fortunately Feedback is still on. Iron Enforcer is just too grotesquely 'roided out to be attractive. I wonder how small his balls are.

    The second season of Flavor of Love, on the other hand, was wonderfully, horribly, embarrassing for the human race - and I couldn't stop watching it. Where do they get these women, why are they doing it, and are they really interested in being Flava Flav's wife?

    Posted by jimbo at 3:08 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

    August 6, 2006

    cell phone users are like cockroaches

    Today I rode up the C&O Canal Towpath bike trail to my Secret Platform overlooking a pinch in the Potomac to try some fishing. Lo and behold, there was a fucking cell phone user there, blabbing away, on MY SECRET PRIVATE PLATFORM IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!! Now normally, nobody is ever there except the occasional fisherman. It is remote and private and quiet. But, like cockroaches, the cell phone users find a way, and one was there, having a VITAL conversation in the middle of the one tiny bit of wilderness allowed in DC. But also like a cockroach, he disappeared suddenly and without a trace as well, which was kinda wierd because I didn't even see him leave.

    Anyway, I brought my fishing pole and was trying to catch fish, but only got a few interested glances from small bass. Kind of like when I went out to Cobalt Saturday night with a buncha Chupacabra-tequila-drinkin' queens to go shake it to the groovy tunes of OMG DJ TM™, which was very fun, but boy did I hurt this morning. Thanks to Homer who brought the troublesome liquid in the first place. Man, that brand is smoove, but devastating. Good stuff.

    Friday evening I went to go see The Oh in Ohio featuring Liza Minelli, Parker Posey and a hot bearded Paul Rudd:
    I liked it, and my review of it is featured on Queer Beacon.

    Posted by jimbo at 8:41 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

    August 4, 2006

    a rhetorical analysis of George Michael's rant in the park

    Now what kind of eco-freak in DC would recommend that someone plant a sod roof and use it as a prairie chicken habitat?
    washington post express
    I assured Mari that the introduction of the Greater Prairie Chicken (Tympanuchus cupido pinnatus) into Shaw would guarantee some very early morning wake-up calls.

    Speaking of wake-up music, OMG DJ TM™ is spinning this Saturday at Cobalt. I plan on going to shake it, pre-disco cocktails at my place beforehand. I certainly have plenty, as I didn't bring any booze along with the small horde I invited with me to Chris and Chrisafer's party. Mental note: it is rude not to bring alcohol to a party, especially when you're also bringing 20 other people...

    The dude with the porn star 'stache playing Albert Einstein at the Keegan Theatre's production of Steve Martin's Picasso at the Lapin Agile is kinda hot. I'm just sayin'...

    This dude on the right from MetroWeekly's Scene section is also kinda hot. I think he works out at my gym, and I was checking him out on Monday but wasn't sure if he was gay or not. Looks like it's time to head out to the Eagle some time soon...say hi from Jimbo if you know him. Speaking of the gym, my more regular attendance has got me down to my pre-P-Town goal of 175, from a winter weight of 180. Rugby doesn't necessarily keep the wieght down for some reason. It takes regular cardio to burn it off these days.

    Let's take a close look at some of the things George Michael had to say to the press as they caught him cruising in a public park north of London, OK?

    "I don't believe it!"

    Believe it, Sister. What part of fame didn't you understand?

    "This is my culture!"

    Whose culture? Not mine. Like I've said before, no one is forcing you to subscribe to a certain set of behaviors, language or acts. Think of it as more of a buffet, where you may choose or reject the lima beans, Jell-O or red beets. (Mmm...beets).

    I've seen this pitfall with acquaintances in the past. In one case, a guy was defending his drug use/abuse to his concerned family since doing drugs is part of being gay. Another guy I knew who also believed in that connection had to renounce being gay, since being gay meant going to clubs and going to clubs means doing drugs, so therefore if one has to kick drugs one needs to renounce being gay. Get it? And today he's no longer gay. Hey, if someone's got a substance abuse problem, I'm all for whatever it takes to kick it.

    Anyhow, like the above examples, just because one is gay does not mean one must or has the right to cruise in the park. It just means you're into the hunt, or terribly desperate.

    "I'm not doing anything illegal!"

    Well George, I'm all for multiple use management of city, county, state and federal recreational property, but some uses are incompatible with other public uses. For example, you shouldn't allow hunting where there are campgrounds. Backcountry wilderness backpackers don't like the sound of ATVs or chainsaws. Likewise, dog walkers and people with children don't like to see your failed liposuction saddlebags jiggling in response to the carnal acts of a frumpy lorry driver working you up and down. Don't you have enough money to get yourself taken care of at home?

    "I can do whatever I want!"

    Of course you can. Start with a lampshade over your head and go from there.

    Posted by jimbo at 11:15 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

    August 3, 2006


    In response to some comments on yesterday's entry, a few lists:

    Why Portland, Oregon?

  • My brother, Corky, some hot guy, and Kiri live there

  • I used to live there, and I liked it

  • You are 1 hour away from both the coast and the mountains

  • Portland is smaller, cooler, and less expensive than DC

  • They have a gay rugby team there
  • Why not DC?

  • It's frikkin' hot here

  • It's frikkin' expensive here

  • In the words of my late friend Seamus, "Gurl, you may click with like maybe 1 in 200 guys here, but I think it'll be like 1 in 50 guys there"

  • I'm tired of the Mid-Atlantic 'tude and workaholic ethic

  • DC is so nuked/bio-bombed/etc.
  • Why not Seattle?

  • Too damn big

  • Gay scene is tired

  • Terrible urban sprawl and traffic

  • Expensive

  • Too close to a major volcano
  • DavidEkstein.jpgWhy not San Francisco?

  • Gay scene was tired in 1992

  • Too expensive

  • Too many far-lefties without perspective would drive me nuts

  • Too close to a major faultline

  • Too much traffic
  • Why David Ekstein?

  • May qualify for Hot Jew of the Week (I don't know for sure if he's Jewish or not, however)

  • At 5'7" and 165 pounds, he's remarkably tiny for a baseball player

  • Played with the Anaheim Angels when they won the world series

  • He's so cute when his jersey and helmet look too big for him because he's smaller than regulation MLB gear

  • Overcame a heart condition as a youth to eventually become an MLB shortstop
  • Why not AOL?

  • You suck

  • You never directly mentioned to me I could lower my monthly bill from $23/mo. to $15, nor from $15 to $0.

  • As your advertisements proliferated on your internet application, your reliability and service declined

  • After my conversation with tech support is done, you forward my call to a fucking telemarketer

  • All you greasy bastards out there in Reston need to learn how to live like the rest of us for a while
  • Why it isn't actually the end of the world:

  • No instance of avian influenza has been reported in the western hemisphere

  • I believe people are inherently good

  • We will manage, we always do

  • Global warming may make life suck for humans, but it won't kill everything - some bacteria will survive

  • Dick Clark and David Hasselhoff will survive too

  • Posted by jimbo at 11:28 AM | Comments (24) | TrackBack

    August 2, 2006

    Can't take the heat? Then get out of Ragnarok.

    Today is not as humid as yesterday, but it's still ungodly hot in this town. Last night I couldn't get to sleep until 3am, since I was tossing, turning and sometimes spinning in my bed due to the heat. My new A/C unit is doing its best, but it's simply too hot outside and it isn't maintaining a comfortable temperature in my bedroom. Perhaps instead of trying to sleep I should just resign to the heat and play City of Heroes all night instead?

    Weather like this reminds me to reiterate that I want to move to Portland, Oregon; Vancouver, Washington; or Vancouver, British Columbia. I do not want to move anywhere further south of PDX, nor to Seattle, for various reasons. I have been looking at and applying for jobs in Portland, Oregon already. I got a phone interview a few weeks ago but no dice. The job market is quite competitive out there, and any leads or referrals are appreciated. I am looking for communications coordinator, media relations, or communications director positions with an environmental or wildlife organization. But I can be flexible too.

    Last night I finished my final exam for my graduate course in PR. It is interesting to note that while I am in classes that have a fascinating theoretical background in marketing, management, communications, or PR, I have yet to see the majority of these theories actually practiced in the workplace. It's either a fact of life or perhaps I haven't worked in the right places. Regardless, I am enjoying my classes and am finding them interesting.

    All the news sources are saying this heat wave is going to kill us. As always, any kind of inclement weather is HUGE news in the DC Metropolitan area, and it will always kill us or else. The news about the weather is even overshadowing WWIII in the middle-east. Remember Avian Bird Flu? Sorry Fluzizzle, you are yesterday's news, a has-been aspect of Kali, an armageddon forgotten.

    Posted by jimbo at 12:53 PM | Comments (16) | TrackBack

    August 1, 2006

    on interpersonal miscibility potential in varying social groupings

    Some more photos, courtesy of mean old Homer from the weekend. This is me at Kennilworth Park & Aquatic Gardens checking out the impressive giant lotus plants:
    jimbo at Kennilworth

    Here jimbo realizes the A/C is down as Dreamy Ron smiles on. Ron has nice sugar tits and biceps like giant juicy albino kumquats. Conclusion of the party soon to follow as the temperature rises.
    lotus plant
    I have since gotten a new window unit. I recall that my air conditioner broke around this time last year too. Apparently Homer brought the Tucson heat with him, but eventually admitted ours was worse due to the humidity. Let's hope it's not this hot until mid-August. But then again, I'm off to Provincetown with Dreamy Ron by then, so who gives a frak!

    Despite the heat, my guests got along well. I like to get all my disparate groups of friends together from the various facets of my life, be it rugby, D&D, neighbors, blog friends, or work. They probably get along that way in a party setting because they all have a Jimbo in common. This sometimes gives me a utopian view of how things actually work in non-jimbo settings where these disparate groups of people may not always mix so well. Why shouldn't everyone get along like this? If I was the Ultimate Ruler of the Universe they would get along and everyone would be nice to each other - or else. But life doesn't always work that way, and the miscibility of different kinds of people in non-jimbo settings isn't always so smooth.

    Posted by jimbo at 3:38 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack