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July 20, 2006
turn the inner eye
I should not even be online right now to blog, but adding an entry is easier than replying to all your kind e-mails of support, which I will respond to when the monitor glow isn't making my frontal lobes ache.
The laser eye surgery went well, but having one's eyes forced open, poked at, cut through, momentary blindness, lasered, then painted back shut with something is REALLY disturbing. I broke out in a cold sweat while it was going on, even though my doctor looked like Mark Singer from The Beastmaster (hot hot hot). They all have hot doctors at the places I went to for this procedure, fyi. Anyhow, even though the actual procedure was only a few minutes long and very efficient, while it was going on my 'fight or flight' instincts were screaming bloody murder. My body was saying to me quite clearly "THERE IS SOMEBODY FORCING YOUR EYES OPEN AND POKING SHIT AT THEM AND IT IS NOW TIME TO RUN BEFORE THEY PUT MORE SHIT INTO YOUR EYES RUN RUN RUNNNNNN!!!! AAAAGH! HERE COMES THE LASER!!! WHAT'S THAT SMELL??!?!?! RUN FIGHT RUNNN!!!!!"
But then I remembered my Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
And now I can see and ride sandworms and augment my sonic weapons with deadly force. And bitch, if you poke that poison finger thing at me I will cut you...
Posted by jimbo at July 20, 2006 9:31 PM
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Comments
I really think you should have gone to an office where the doctor didn't command the power of weasels, birds, and tigers.
Posted by: Glenn at July 20, 2006 10:34 PM
What part of "Rest your eyes and don't focus them" did you not hear???!!! Does this mean you'll be able to spot hairy dreamboats quicker?
Posted by: homer at July 20, 2006 11:23 PM
Fear is the mind killer.
Glad you haven't lost your eyesight.
Posted by: jeremy at July 21, 2006 1:34 AM
Glad things went well and it does my heart good to hear someone else making Dune reference around here.
Posted by: Howard at July 21, 2006 2:16 AM
It keeps getting better ... and it's still the best $$$ I ever spent on myself ... and I'd do it again in a heartbeat (luckily, I didn't have to have a "touch-up" 6 months later). I sure do enjoy being able to see when I first wake up and not have to reach for the glasses ....
BTW ... they forgot to tell em about that "odor" when performing the routine ...
Posted by: Rob at July 21, 2006 9:59 AM
Now, Jimbo, be a good patient...use all your medication drops, and no heavy lifting. Did you have both eyes done at the same time?
Posted by: fstclss at July 21, 2006 10:06 AM
and the doc didn't even molest you? waste of money.
Posted by: RED at July 21, 2006 12:06 PM
Wait - so now you have awesome blue-in-blue eyes like the Fremen because of laser surgery? Those bastards told me I had to eat a hell of a lot of spice to get them!
Posted by: Jeem at July 21, 2006 1:06 PM
Hey Jimbo it could be worse you could have done that surgery to make you look younger and end up like the Doctor in Logan's Run. It was that scene when Farrah "look at my tits" Fawcett was the Nurse.
Posted by: kevin at July 21, 2006 3:57 PM
"Take your hand from the box, young HUMAN." Glad you're recovering well.
Posted by: Casey at July 21, 2006 6:59 PM
You'd make a great mother superior of the bene gesserit.
Posted by: Dan at July 22, 2006 12:11 PM