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July 13, 2006
I got examined by Chris Evans today
Dear Washington Post Express Weekend Pass editors: the Muppet cinema classics "The Muppet Movie" and "The Great Muppet Caper" are not 'animated' films. Muppets are frikkin' real, not cartoons. Although at your age you may only be aware of the nauseating "Muppet Babies" cartoon, thus your ignorant assumptions. Kids these days...
Both classics can be seen at the AFI Silver (Spring), the former at 7:30pm tonight, the latter at 12:30pm on Saturday and Sunday as part of the AFI "100 Years...100 Thrills" movie series. It's a nice, quiet grownup theatre that attracts few cell phone addicts, fyi.
Today I Metrorailed up to the White Flint station on the Red Line to get my eyes mapped in preparation for next week's LASIK surgery. All is in readiness, and my only regrets at this point is the bill. My doctor looked like a cute, younger, adorkable, Jewishy version of Chris Evans, with thick, spiky eyebrows. Needless to say I obediently did everything he asked me to, and would have done anything else he didn't.
After the appointment I went to the White Flint Mall to grab something to eat. I think I was the only nonbreeding person there, as it was filled with Caucasian suburban mallwalking housewives with strollers. These women are intense...they will clip your ankles with the stroller, run you over like a piece of dirt, and roll over your twitching carcass without so much as an "Excuse me," if they even notice you at all. It's All About The Babies. And if they have the mega-plastic red multi-child Humvee-sized strollers provided by the mall, you're just a piece of masticated roadkill in their eyes. Look out for the mallwalkers at White Flint Mall.
Today's shallow beefcake post is of 30 year-old, 200# Buffalo Sabres hockey stud and 2006 Olympian Chris Drury. Hockey players grow beards during the playoff season, which turns my crank. Befur and aftfur:
He has a nice schnoz too. Both Chris' make my Smurf itch.
Posted by jimbo at July 13, 2006 1:38 PM
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Comments
Mr. Drury makes my muppet itch.
Posted by: homer at July 13, 2006 3:25 PM
I had a simular experience yesterday, but instead of Muppets, it involved the classic movie TRON.
This girl thought the movie TRON was based on a character from the game "Kingdom Hearts II" And that the movie Tron was a cartoon.
I quickly corrected her heretical thoughts
Posted by: Dax at July 13, 2006 7:28 PM
There are dangers aplenty at White Flint.
1. There is the kiddie train that runs not on rails but pretty much where ever there are pedestrians on the first floor.
2. There are the clueless kids who stop when they are confused, blocking the escalators and doors.
3. There are the overpriced...well everthing at Bloomingdales (especially the furniture).
4. The completely overrated Dave and Busters.
5. There are the senior citizens who can't seem to grasp the concept of shutting up, during a movie at the theatre.
6. There are the sales people at Pottery Barn who once told me when I inquired about a piece of furniture, "It doesn't go on sale, so you should apply to work here to get the employee discount." When I said, "No" and turned to leave he answered, "You'll be back for a job." Hello? I am not looking for one just so I can buy a leather chair.
7. And finally, the food court is completely weak. Eatzie's or Taipei Tokyo Cafe would have been better options.
Posted by: MalaJustin at July 14, 2006 2:54 AM
G.sus. I itch. Everywhere.
Posted by: Wulf at July 14, 2006 3:00 AM
AFI's Silver Theater rules.
Posted by: Dumbek at July 14, 2006 10:38 AM
We had one of the worst restaurant experiences of our life at the White Flint Cheesecake Factory a few years ago, involving tears, heated arguments with the manager, my bro-in-law chasing after the server when he heard her curse at him under her breath, etc.
My sister blacklisted all Cheesecake Factories forever after that meal. I have no such compunction, and have allowed myself to go to other Cheesecake Factories since then.
Good luck on the LASIK. Mark just had it done a couple of days ago. How long did they tell you you had to go before you can play rugby again?
Posted by: Mark in Portland at July 16, 2006 10:40 AM