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April 7, 2006

OMG all the gay bars in DC are closing

OMG OMG OMG no more Lizard Lounge, Secrets, Zigfields, Nation and whatever am I going to do on Saturday night?

Play World of Warcraft, of course.

Seriously though, neighborhoods change, establishments move about, and we'll soon have a new crop of tacky strip clubs and drag bars in an equally sketchy neighborhood anytime now. Worry not, just wait and see.

I'll have to agree with Toby though, Mark "The Sky is Falling!" Lee's excuse for closing Lizard Lounge due to the smoking ban which isn't even fully in effect until January was pretty lame. I am as curious as Toby as to the real reason he's shutting down. In a rare exception to my anonymous comments rule, clandestine commentors are free to speak frankly on this issue today...

I just don't go out that much anymore, but that may change once the smoking ban comes into effect. Aside from regular Blowoff attendance, I go to Halo the most due to the smoke-free environment. 'Woof' is too crowded and the music too loud; both the Eagle and Green Lantern's Shirtless Men Drink Free night are too hit and miss in regards to the crowd hotness; JR's and Remington's are over the top smoky - no way; on an odd night I may go to Omega or the Fireplace because the crowd there makes me feel good about myself; I haven't been to Atlas in years; and I only go to Cobalt when OMG DJ Timothy Mykael is spinning.

After 10 years of living in The District, I have finally coerced my mother to come visit the very same weekend as the Cherry circuit party weekend. I know my mom is a huge fan of tribal and heavy house circuit music (specifically Alyson Calagna and Manny Lehman), but ever since the schism between mom and Nurse Cracker up in Dulth at the 1998 Ice Shanty Ball mom has been limiting her circuit attendance to Midwest venues like Fire Ball and the like. I don't know what would happen if mom and Nurse Cracker ever met again - I think there'd be a huge catfight. Plus she's not on the best terms with Doug Rule, music reviewer for Metro Weekly, ever since her scathing response in Circuit Noize to Doug's critique of the music at Alegria in 2004. But hell, maybe I'll go alone since mom ALWAYS gets all the attention on the dance floor when she shows up, surrounded by all the flaggers. Mom's flags are navy blue with the word 'FORWARD' embroidered on them in gold lamé, and she prefers to hang out with men in sailor and yeoman uniforms. When she's holding court, I'm always there in the shadows on the dance floor while she rips up a storm.

Posted by jimbo at April 7, 2006 11:36 AM

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I recall hearing some hooplah about Lizard's alcohol license being revoked. It was making too much noise and neighbors were complaining.

Posted by: Markie at April 7, 2006 12:47 PM

Jimbo, I could swear your mother passed a bottle of poppers to me at the White Party. Or maybe she was flag dancing (love the Wisconsin flag!), it is all real hazy.

Posted by: homer at April 7, 2006 1:27 PM

I don't about litigious and sketchy, but I do know that I got about 12 notices that Lizard Lounge was closing. I. Get. It.

And hysterical bit about your mother.

Posted by: stebbins at April 7, 2006 2:06 PM

Most of my friends go to Bear Happy Hour (or BHH as they call it) at Titan but I haven't gone in forever. I just don't like it there. The music is way too loud, its hard to make conversation, its too crowded, parking is a bitch, and some people like to say hello by reaching out and giving me a titty twister. Maybe its because I usually work until 7:00pm and don't get there until after everyone is all liquored up?

Posted by: brendan at April 7, 2006 2:11 PM

OMG, Mark Lee. I wouldn't take much he says at face value. When I was on the board of my DC neighborhood association, we watched his "nightlife coalition" (or whatever the hell it was called) spamming of every neighborhood discussion group in town with overwrought prose about how all nightlife in DC was about the end because some neighborhood associations actually wanted new licensees in their area to address noise and crime concerns. Sigh. There's a name I didn't think I'd hear again.

Posted by: John at April 7, 2006 2:20 PM

At long last I have a bad reputation.

Posted by: First mom at April 7, 2006 2:56 PM

I'll be at Bear Happy Hour today. Are you saying it'll be NON-smoking? I'm corn-fused.

Posted by: Joe.My.God. at April 7, 2006 3:58 PM

If I had to guess, not that I would know about such things, he'd had one too many crackheads getting busted. Oh I'm sorry, perhaps referring to Ike Turner's former wife is the correct term?

Your mom is way cooler than you are Jimbo. It sounds like you sit around in penny loafers and a pipe and dream of wistful nights on the veranda in sultry Savannah with "streaks of walking sex" leaving your house. ;-)

Posted by: copperred at April 7, 2006 4:15 PM

Woof seems to be artificially crowded in that most people hang out in the narrow gauntlet by the bar... and bears tend to like narrow spaces to capture their prey. :-) Also, if they added another bar or even an additional bartender at the current bar that would help. Management is just being cheap.

Good riddance to Lizard Lounge... When it was over on 14th St, it was actually kinda cool. And I do not see any signs that the smoking ban will hurt buisness at all. Halo is PACKED on Saturday nights. And it will be nice to go to JRs and not have someone burn you with their cigarette butts.

Posted by: Tom at April 7, 2006 4:53 PM

I am as curious as Toby as to the real reason he's shutting down.

I hear that he fears that the crackdown on Sunday double parking will drive away his core customer group of Virginia and Maryland worshippers.

Posted by: DeepClub at April 7, 2006 7:42 PM

yer mudda sounds fiiiiierce.

Posted by: mike at April 9, 2006 1:18 AM

I can't stop laughing... thank you! "...but ever since the schism between mom and Nurse Cracker up in Dulth at the 1998 Ice Shanty Ball mom has been limiting her circuit attendance to Midwest venues like Fire Ball and the like." LOL, I love it!

Posted by: Bob at April 11, 2006 2:09 PM

Glad to see (many) others chiming in about the Mark Lee thing. His rationale just wasn't-- er, rational. Never acknowledging our comments about the success of Halo and the fact that New Yorkers and Californians are not just staying home and sulking in their smoke-filled trailers! And his snotty responses to some of my friends-- simply unforgivable! I too wondered some time ago what the hidden agenda was. Well, I wish him luck with whatever his new "career" is...

Posted by: David at April 11, 2006 2:55 PM

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