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February 23, 2006

ginger kids beware

sure, I'll pull a newsletter outta my ass, lickety split!Work has been very hectic of late, and I haven't had much to write about anyway. At my job I am often expected to pull a Barbara Eden / I Dream of Jeannie trick now and then and shoot brochures, newsletters and graphics out of my ass at random times from the magical vacuum of my rectum. Apparently, a lot of my non-designer coworkers believe graphic design, writing and the printing cycle is an act of prestidigitation. Voila! It's that easy! There will be some educational efforts done on my part at the next meeting. I believe in educational campaigns, and perhaps sharing how I go about designing, producing and printing these objects will help. But there are always the Really Important Last Minute Emergencies around here too, which you can never prevent, especially on Fridays at 4:30pm. I hope people understand why I don't go out on Fridays to noisy smoky bars. I'm kind of worn out by 8pm on Friday and can't handle such sensory overload.

Woof woof woof...I'm crazy for the Ginger Kids this week. It's all about the redheads, Newfie curlers, etc., and like they say once you've gone red you can never go back. There seemed to be at least 5 readhead guys at the gym on Tuesday night, all shades of lovely red, sandy/orange or auburn...Daywalkers all, tormenting me with their fiery hotness.

Dogpoet is no Daywalker, but he's still adorable as heck, even standing next to archaeological remains. When he moves back to SF I'll set him up with this dreamboat and they'll be a dreamboat hottie couple.

Bob was once this close to Joan Rivers! Joan didn't seem to know what she was talking about. Time has been much kinder to Bob.

I got a super-sweet deal on a snowboarding jacket at the REI Winter Blowout Clearance sale. It's loaded with gadgetry, zippers and bells, and my new hiking boots came in too. I feel totally geared up, rugged and crunchy.

Blowoff on Saturday, D&D on Sunday. I'm kind of content to be home this weekend...I need to regenerate even more. I hope to maybe go buy some soil for my backyard garden projects if it's nice enough outside.

Thank you for all the dozens of identical e-mails regarding the Brokeback Mountain Shopping List and all the really, really funny videos for Brokeback to the Future and all that. Ha ha ha. And I'm still getting them almost daily! Really, I enjoy reading the same jokes over and over again, and no, I haven't seen this video and I'm sure it's really, really funny and I have to see this one!!! Of course no one else has sent me that other joke, so go ahead and send it again. Just keep forwarding those Brokeback e-mails and soon I'm going to go totally postal ! ! ! ! !

Posted by jimbo at February 23, 2006 11:17 AM


I laughed out loud at the opening of this post, having been asked to perform similar rectal miracles many times in my career. It never ever stops.

Posted by: John at February 23, 2006 12:40 PM

It's true about redheads, so true. Um, not to be uber nitpicky but DogPoet is looking cute next to a paleontological remains. If he decides to move to Tucson I'll set him up with a nice date (me).

Posted by: homer at February 23, 2006 12:49 PM

Hey! Digging redheads is MY thing in our cohort group....you stole my thing Jimbo! You want me to start going after hairy backed bluecollar knuckle draggers??? DO YOU?! I swear to GOD I will!

Posted by: GURL at February 23, 2006 1:59 PM

I spit my coffee on my monitor when reading about the magical vacuum of your rectum.

They call it "Titan"? Oy.

Posted by: sam at February 23, 2006 2:40 PM

If you did hairy-backed bluecollar knuckle draggers WHO ARE ALSO redheaded, I know just the guy for you. He's usually at Dugout with his "monogamous" husband. Seriously hot yo, both a'dems.

Posted by: Joe.My.God. at February 23, 2006 2:47 PM

I don't get the hair color thing, I mean there's Clairol for goodness sake.

The Joan Rivers is creepy, in the sense that she looks human. I'm sorry about your rectum, but if it is a naturally occuring vaccum, we may need to send in scientists to study it. Of course they'd never come back, but that's the nature of a vacuum.

GURL & Jimbo could get together with the redheaded hairy-backed bluecollar knuckle draggers, mount a camera in every nook, and make millions, just like Paris' ex bf. 'Course he had something extra special I hear.

Posted by: copperred at February 23, 2006 3:39 PM

I used to be a marketing peon, project mgr, manager and eventually director and I don't think any client ever truly appreciated what it takes to make something look good - hell it takes a lot of effort to make even a piece of crap! They just think that photoshop or flash makes the piece automatically - yeah whatever!

Now how could nobody mention how gorgeous (and just seemingly kind-looking) dreamboat is - woof!?!

Posted by: TOS at February 23, 2006 11:36 PM

I'm not sure if the world is ready for a Dogpoet/Robbie Martin coupling. The earth's orbit may reverse and throw us all into chaos from all the mega-dreamboatiness.

Posted by: The Other Brian at February 23, 2006 11:37 PM

I was SO tempted to put up the Husker Du/Joan Rivers vid earlier this week. Classic.

mmmm....gimme a redhead any day.

Posted by: Dumbek at February 24, 2006 9:24 AM

i want to makeout with dogpoet. woof.

Posted by: uncle ruphus at February 24, 2006 5:10 PM

I have not received any of the Brokeback Mountain mails and videos and cartoons... :-(
Can you store them somewhere on your website, make them all available to the gerenal public and then give us the link?
(I may have missed something, but: Did you jump over your own shadow and finally went to see the Move That Shall Not Be Named?)

Posted by: Schorsch at February 27, 2006 6:25 PM