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February 28, 2006

fat tuesday

photo capture from the upcoming horror movie SLiTHERPeople were asking about the photo of the zaftig lady here...it's from the upcoming horror film SLiTHER, which I'm eager to see in April.

Saturday's shopping trip for pants was somewhat upsetting as I had to face the reality of moving up in waist size with my dress pants and jeans. This winter has been generous to me, and the reality of having a size 30 waist is all but history. I think the last time I was that skinny was when I was unemployed, depressed and not eating. I probably shouldn't complain - for in my family when we are depressed we don't eat or gain weight. Others are not so lucky.

My current waist size is a result of being so overjoyed with life and eating regularly and well, that the pockets of my old pairs were screaming open in an 'o' of agony. As my shopping helper Seamus says, the dress pants pockets cannot look like 'The Scream' when you put them on. Much to my horror, I found through trial, error, and acidic critique that my comfortable jeans size is now 34", and in order to be roomy my dress pants must now be 36", dammit. I was keeping several pairs of size 30"-32" jeans and pants in my closet out of pure denial. I could not put them without suffering edema or some kind of circulatory disorder. I'm sure a season of rugby will trim some of the chunk off again, but every year rugby cuts off less and less junk in my trunk. Soon, I will cease being a wing or scrumhalf and one day they will just put me up in the forward pack with the props and flankers.

I think I need to lose my job, get depressed and struggle to pay bills again. That PB&J diet really worked wonders for fitting into those twink jeans.

Posted by jimbo at February 28, 2006 12:08 PM


I think I still have a pair of 29 inch waist 501 jeans that fit for about 5 minutes in 1992. There they sit in my Closet of Delusion, waiting for their comeback along with other things last seen in the 90s such as my hairline and the cast of “A Different World.”

Posted by: Herb at February 28, 2006 10:04 AM

When you get older your metabolism changes too. Welcome to the world of big comfy pants.

Posted by: Marie at February 28, 2006 10:06 AM

Not that you want to hear from me, but...
Revolutionary weight loss technique:
Strap a bag of fluid to you for a week, the pounds will melt away.
Actually, I've found Levis are a bit more forgiving once you break them in, especially the 501s. Plus they'll show off your rear.

Posted by: copperred at February 28, 2006 11:34 AM

i just moved and while cleaning out the closet, i finally gave up the ghost on the ol' size 30's. i am, however, back on the pb&j diet--i'll let you know if it still works.

Posted by: jeremy at February 28, 2006 11:58 AM

Some of us would kill to get into 36 waists again...

Posted by: sam at February 28, 2006 12:44 PM

I was finally able to fit again into a pair of 32s last fall that I had saved for about 20 years - so it can be done - and they felt great. Last time I had worn them I weighed about 170 - this past fall I was checking in at around 200. And then came Christmas... LOL - maybe by next fall...

Jimbo, dude, that is one seriously disturbed picture you have posted today.

Posted by: Andy at February 28, 2006 2:43 PM

You'd be a great hooker ...

Posted by: Michele at February 28, 2006 5:17 PM

I think I will be in 30 inch jeans real soon - just by hanging a copy of that nasty photo on my refrigerator door. What on earth were you thinking?

Posted by: ZZ at February 28, 2006 5:23 PM

I think it's just a self-crisis thing, because usually, no one else worries about someone's waist size. Hell, I prefer guys with some beef personally, and I'm not the only one.

Posted by: Kevin at February 28, 2006 5:43 PM

Perhaps size should be the same as age. So if you are 36 your waist size should be 36, or if you have a bra let it be size 36. Being from Wisconsin and it's Fat Tuesday I have to ask, did you have your Paczki, a deep fried Polish pastry filled with fruit and topped with sugar and icing? I wasn't able to find any in this area. It's also time for the Girl Scout cookies to be delivered, the dilemma of a self induced sugar coma lurks.

Posted by: Sarah at February 28, 2006 10:24 PM

At one point in college I was a size 32 - but that was due to living in Japan and nearly starving - even though I seemed to eat pretty much non-stop - ah the memories - these days I am at my normal 34 but dammit! i can't seem to get the flab off around my waist - I am actually going to the gym now - regularly even - since December - I'm pushing more weight than I ever though possible but that damn stomach - why does food have to be so bad for you?!

Posted by: TOS at February 28, 2006 11:34 PM

Having a 30 in waist is not all that, first of all unless your built like Jamie Bamber, people are going to think your A)bulimic or Anorexic or B)a twink on drugs.

Posted by: Dax at March 1, 2006 5:43 AM

First the pogicide, now crying over being a size 34? I'm worried for ya, jimbo...


Posted by: Dan at March 1, 2006 1:43 PM

"Closet Of Delusion"- i love it

I still have my skinny jeans too, but mine are on a shelf in the Box Of Misty Water-Colored Memories.

Posted by: Joe.My.God. at March 1, 2006 3:02 PM

Is that Ann Coulter?

Posted by: Greg at March 1, 2006 3:27 PM

size 30? OMG! I haven't fit in a size 30 since Jr High. However, I've only gone over a size 32 once after a rough breakup. (Bonbons really are best eaten a bucket at a time right before bed.)

We still luv you, even the new extra you!

Posted by: moby at March 1, 2006 9:11 PM