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February 13, 2006

cupid's little helper

Although tomorrow's nauseating holiday isn't bugging me as much as it normally does as a currently single person, I always try to do my part and at least be Cupid's Helper this time of year, and maybe try to set people up. I am a sappy romantic at heart, and I do take joy in bringing people together, and have had several long-term successes!

On one of my favorite 'dating' websites is a man with a profile named PunishDaHole. I gave PunishDaHole a resounding "I Like" wink for his descriptive profile name, sheer honesty, straightforwardness, and marketing genius. I mean, there really isn't any confusion about what this guy is looking for, is there? While I think I lack the girth and stamina to truly Punish His Hole, I do wish PunishDaHole a happy Valentine's Day. Gurl and I often try to match profiles on this particular site, and she found a match for PunishDaHole: My9HurtsYou. If My9HurtsYou is as advertised, he could punish the hole of his new lover and they would live happily ever after, as we wish them to be. My9HurtsYou, if you're out there, meet PunishDaHole. 'Hole, meet '9 and have at it.

Cupid's Tip Of The Day: Cell phone camera pics or webcam snapshots are not recommended for dating or tricking site pictures. They look like crap. Get a digital camera. Tell your friend to take your picture. Put up sharp, well-lit, high-resolution images where we can make out the details of your face, cock and chest fur patterns. I for one am a Resolution Queen.

Are you a savvy shopper and love someone who loves hiking? The craziest boot sale I've ever seen is going on at the Vasque product website. This style of hiking boot that I've worn for over 15 years is now going for $137, a full $50 less than the cheapest price I've paid for in the past. (Too late, I already bought mine). I highly recommend this boot, and it comes in black as well. I'll bet you could punish holes with this boot too, although I've never tried.

Armin Zoeggeler, lugeMy favorite woofy winter Olympian so far: Italy's Armin Zoeggeler, who delivered Italy's first gold medal in the games. Did anyone catch the heartwrenching drama of Men's Curling last night? Women's Curling was on this morning, featuring the Johnson twins from the Norway team. FIERCE competition for the U.S.! The outlook quote from the website read like something from my hometown paper:

"Dordi Norby of Norway has a record 77 victories in world competition and is one of only three skips to win back-to-back world championships. Four-time world champion Elisabeth Gustafson leads Sweden in the women's competition, and the U.S. team is led by national champion Kari Erickson..."

The curling team roster has several Cheeseheads, including one from Nekoosa, the paper mill town just south of my undergraduate college, and a woman from Rio, Wisconsin which is a two-hour drive from where I grew up.

DO NOT fuck with us Cheeseheads on the curling lanes!!! REPREZENT NEKOOSA!!!

PUNISH DA HOLE!!!

Posted by jimbo at February 13, 2006 2:04 PM

Comments

PunishDaHole, well that is indeed novel. I wish you could click on someone's profile and point them to someone else's anonymously. I could spend hours doing that online, for my own amusement. I even have on in mind for you Jimbo.

You're a web geek, make it so!

Posted by: copperred at February 13, 2006 3:36 PM

Apparently my friend rugging and binding aren't the only things that bind us. Brown Vasque represent!

Posted by: Bryan at February 14, 2006 10:27 AM

Hang on, I think MyNineHurtsYou has written to me!

Posted by: Joe.My.God. at February 14, 2006 1:06 PM