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January 23, 2006

I am 'Pog'

Jimbo would totally pogasm on Hunka-Dunan Sheik's beardGlennalicious mentions the word pogonophiles in a recent entry. Pogonophiles are those who find an interest in beards. I guess I have a severe case of pogonophilism, as does runner up Otterdoc as well.

Then Jeff from God of Biscuits (the original) says that the 'Bear' term is soo 2005 (It's really soo 2002, actually.) and we need to differentiate those that simply like beards, but are not roly-poly or feel compelled to wear flannel and ballcaps. As I wear product and am relatively fit but still love my facial fur and don't own faux workman's boots, I will choose to use Jeff's contraction of the word "pogonophile" into simply "pog."

I am "Pog." No, not one of those stupid trading flipper dingies from like a decade ago either.

Of course this subculture is going to fragment into a million more specific areas, with accompanying names, as we often do. Jeff wonders what an "iPog" would be, to which I answer:

Well, an iPog would be a bearded one who is plugged into the latest tech, of course. Bob Mould is an iPog, for example.

If we must (and someone will), here are some more Pogisms. Feel free to submit more:

Pogger: Someone who tops bearded guys.
Poggee: Someone who bottoms to bearded guys.
Autopogonification: getting off on your own beard.
Pseudopogonophile: He who only grew a beard when/because it was hip.
Andropogynes: Post-op transsexuals with facial hair.
Pogasm: Shooting a load on someone's beard
(My favorite - I made it up, credit goes to me for that one.)

Posted by jimbo at January 23, 2006 11:00 PM


And there's Pogo - A comic strip possum that's into beards.

Posted by: Lee at January 24, 2006 4:49 AM

Are there any self loathing pogs?

Posted by: Herb at January 24, 2006 8:28 AM

Pogcaster: Someone with a beard that has a podcast.

Posted by: Ruphus at January 24, 2006 8:36 AM


That's all I got.

Posted by: Joe.My.God. at January 24, 2006 9:50 AM

Pog burn!

Posted by: chrisafer at January 24, 2006 10:04 AM

oh boy...more terms to learn

Posted by: LARRY at January 24, 2006 10:29 AM

How soon before the "hus-pog" references start?

Posted by: Andy at January 24, 2006 12:06 PM

may I join your poggle of pogs? Wanna meet up some time next week in the flesh, even?

Posted by: Paul at January 24, 2006 3:36 PM

Pog-pegging. To insert one's penis in a pog.

Posted by: stebbins at January 24, 2006 4:48 PM

Pognoholic: A condition suffered by many pognophiles. It is characterized by an insatiable interest in bearded men. Symptoms may include: obsessive Internet surfing for images of bearded men; always scoping out the bearded men one encounters at bars, gyms, restaurants, concerts, sporting events, funerals, etc.; the inability to remember what you had for lunch yesterday while you can remember down to the last follicle that scruffy woofer you saw at the subway stop on Oct. 5, 1998; discovering that while you're a die-hard Red Sox fan you are more upset that Johnny Damon shaved his beard than that he defected to the Yankees; owning 10 or more cases of Oxyclean because you are incapable of resisting the pognophonic charms of Billy Mays.

Posted by: Bob at January 24, 2006 4:53 PM

Why does the term "Poggee" turn me on? Oh, right. Never mind.

Posted by: Mike at January 24, 2006 4:54 PM

Poglite- someone who aspires to be a bearded homo, but can't grow the required facial hair.

Posted by: homer at January 24, 2006 6:45 PM

Whoa, when did Duncan Sheik get so hot?

(Er, I got nothing else clever to give in terms of pogofile language. But wow, go Duncan go.)

Posted by: Greg McElhatton at January 24, 2006 9:32 PM

That pic made me swoon. Duncan only gets sexier with age. I can't wait to see him next month at the Birchmere.

Posted by: Burl at January 24, 2006 10:31 PM

I'm thinking this is just about to jump the uh..pog.

Posted by: Mark at January 24, 2006 10:32 PM

To spin-off Stebbins' comment:

howabout a.... Pog-Fucker!

Posted by: Jdub at January 24, 2006 10:40 PM

Pornpography - pictures of naked men with beards (and, hopefully, other fur)

Posted by: Mike at January 25, 2006 9:04 AM

apogee - the farthest point away from a hot bearded guy that you can get without cruising him

Posted by: Mike at January 25, 2006 9:08 AM

I confess. I'm a pognaholic. You've outed me.

How 'bout:
POGROM: any employment policy which includes the prohibition of facial hair, particularly beards (eg Disneyworld, the US military);

ANTHROPOGOLIST: one who studies the cultural and ethnic differences between beards and correlation to chest hair, particularly of dense Mediterranean origin; POGGLE (also see POGGLE AND SNOGGLE): 1. n: the intense physical sensation of beard upon beard, beard upon chest hair, etc.,
2. v. the physical act of producing such a sensation; often culminates in a pogasm.

Posted by: otterdoc at January 25, 2006 9:56 AM

Hmmm, my bf has pogasmed so many times before without ever knowing the proper term for what he was doing. Thanks for clearing that up for us! :')

Posted by: Bubala at January 25, 2006 10:02 AM

A few others:

Alternate for related to Pogcaster (above)
"Pog-cast" - to announce via the internet that one has a beard
"Pog Cabin Republicans" - Gay Repuglicans with beards (doubt there are any...)
"Mind-Poggling" - to be confused by someone's beard
"Pog-Pen" - a bar frequented by bearded guys
"Pog-rolling" - flipping a bearded guy to search for other hair

Posted by: Robert Lee at January 27, 2006 8:28 AM

Pogbog - When 20 or more bearded guys are gathered and clumped together - say at happy hour.

Posted by: TOS at January 30, 2006 7:59 AM