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December 14, 2005

horny for the holidays

queen kong?
I don't know much about the British film Queen Kong Lives, but in accordance with talking about queens this week, and avoiding talking about that one movie that everyone is talking about to death until I vomit, I thought I'd bring it up.

Last night I went on my last Christmas shopping trip to Pentagurl City, and damn if you Virginia Mall Queens don't cruise harder than Tom! I guess I'm accustomed to the jaded and furtive test glances of the 17th Street set, that furtive look that tries to avoid eye contact and attempts to save face by not looking like you'd actually debase yourself by showing interest in someone. Or, for God's sake, to avoid simply saying "Hello". I digress...the queens at Pentagon City Mall practically drill a hole through your head with their staring and fall just short of humping your leg in public. It's very refreshing. Either that or everyone is going ape shit for my hot Kris Kringle look. 'Tis the season you know.

I'm also guessing it could be Holiday Horniness. I think for many the knowledge that you are going to go home and will be forced to be celibate for 2 days makes people desperate this time of year. Go to your local gay gym the day before Thanksgiving or Christmas and you'll see the sauna is practically overflowing with semen, with gay men in a frenzy to hook up.

I'm actually over my holiday anger. I think the whole holiday thing is thrust upon you so fast and so hard after Thanksgiving that anger is a natural reaction to such a shocking display of crass commercialization and forced joy. Perhaps here's how the Holiday Stress Cycle goes:

Anger > Stress > Resignation > Horniness > Holiday Joy > Peace on Earth

Just a theory. I can also say I'm pretty horny right now, so I think my theory is true. Anyhow I met up with Fitz for dinner there and we had a nice Irish meal at Siné, another one of those faux-Irish themed restraunt with crappy American Guiness that tastes like Bud Lite. Anyway, I happened to have a printed copy of the short story that the recent over-hyped movie whose name I will not mention is based on, which I gave to Fitz for a short read. I assured him that it's a very sad story, and I keep hearing that it's an equally sad (but well-done) film that I'm not going to go see just yet because all this overhype is making me resent the whole idea of actually seeing it and I think I want to vomit whenever I see a frikkin' cowboy hat due to all the hype so shut the hell up about this goddamn movie, OK? Anyway, Fitz believes this movie will be a watershed film for The Gays in that it's quality and depiction of gay emotion will finally make the Krazy Konservative Kristians (KKK) shut the fuck up. I'm not so optimistic about the film's effects on Americans, as I think it'll make the KKK mad as a beehive that's been kicked, and they're just going to continue whining about gays until they fucking die their hateful deaths already. Plus, I don't think the people that need to go see it are going to go see it either.

Cynically optimistic, I guess. Jeff and Jimbo at Blowoff Saturday night:
Jeff & Jimbo

Posted by jimbo at December 14, 2005 11:09 AM


Hmmm. Your Holiday Stress Cycle kinda resembles the First Date Stress Cycle.

Posted by: Boo Augustus at December 14, 2005 12:18 PM

Oh yeah - you do look horny! LOL Must be the Santa fetish or something...

But I hear ya - I get even hornier when I am stressed, bored, angry or at the holidays... wait, fair to say I am just horny all the time save funerals or something like that... Thankfully that boo seems to be wired just like me - so phew!

Damn I'm all worked up now! :-P

Posted by: TOS at December 14, 2005 2:00 PM

Just a point of clarification: I don't think the film itself will be a watershed moment for gays, but I think it will be perceived as such. Western cultures loves to take specific events and individuals and unfairly credit them with large shifts in history that were already happening. I guess it makes the history books easier to read.

Posted by: Fitz at December 14, 2005 2:48 PM

How does Peter Jackson's re-make of King Kong translate into a "watershed moment for gays?" I thought the ape falls for Naomi Watts, not Jack Black.

Posted by: Boo Augustus at December 14, 2005 5:16 PM

"I think the whole holiday thing is thrust upon you so fast and so hard...." Hmm, is there a subliminal message going on there?

Oh, and your Kris Kringle look *is* hot. So don't go to the North Pole, Santa Hot; you'll melt the ice cap!

What's left of it, anyway....

Posted by: Jeffrey at December 15, 2005 10:26 AM

You've posted many amusing, trenchant and/or hot photos of yourself - including the recent 'skeeved-at-the-Christmas-mall' one - but this is an instant classic. Stay sane through the next week and a half, or your pupils will turn red in a Dorian Gray sort of way.

Posted by: Chris at December 16, 2005 1:20 AM

OMG, you're cheating on me with *another* god of biscuits????

Posted by: GodOfBiscuits [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 18, 2005 3:53 PM