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October 31, 2005


It is amazing what I can accomplish when I have classwork to do at home. Before approaching my online course assignments for graduate school I was suddenly motivated to:

Then maybe I can get around to homework, which clearly must be avoided at all costs.

What national newswires call "rioting" is described as "partying" or a "rowdy gathering" by local news sources describing Friday night revelers on Madison, Wisconsin's State Street. Semi-annual riots occur in Oshkosh and LaCrosse as well, and most of them involve high levels of alcohol consumption. Swilling tremendous amounts of bad pilsner is a generally accepted part of the local culture that you don't see until you've left the region. It's generally accepted that you go to college and frequently drink yourself blind. Anyway, I found the differences in rhetoric used by local versus national news sources to be interesting. Wisconsin generally downplays descriptions of drunken revelry, while news sources elsewhere call it rioting. And I think it was Chris Rock who said that black people riot when they are angry, but white people riot when they are happy.

Tom Wopat, former Duke of Hazzard and native son of Lodi, Wisconsin, performs in the broadway musical Chicago in Madison.

I am now a Trusty Sidekick. Sparky demands top-notch geekness...I hope I can meet his standards. Trusty Sidekicks is a blog by and for gay comic book fans. I hope you like it.

Oy, me bones ache today. I got dogpiled by a good number of hairy, sweaty men both at Thursday's practice and Saturday's match, and it wasn't even fun. While it didn't hurt then, there's this low-level ache that comes from every bone in me body today, and I know it's from beef being loaded on top of me. I played fullback on Saturday, and managed to make lots of good tackles.

I'm going to see Rufus Wainwright with Brettie tonight. I'm not really a fan but I don't want to be home when the mean neighborhood kids come to my door demanding candy when they don't have a costume on. I'm being a Halloween Grinch this year. The same goes for Thanksgiving and Christmas, as I won't be going home for the holidays. I like DC during that time. There is no one here.

Posted by jimbo at 9:13 AM | Comments (7)

October 28, 2005

Stevie Nicks' magic spells will cure me of my homoxexuality.

Oh Mah Gawd there's gonna be a Stevie Nicks Halloween Party on Saturday at Omega. I'm guessing it'll be like their Kylie Minogue parties except there'll be tons 'o Stevie videos and music instead. No commitments as it's a night after rugby and I'm likely to be burnt out, but should I need to be cured of my homosexuality by her witchcraft I may consider going.

This week's Outright feature in Metroweekly praises a recent campaign by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force to combat an anti-gay measure in Houston, Texas. The NGLTF effort has produced ads, described as conservative by MW, that focus on the concepts of marriage, commitment, families, children and faith as arguments against the Amendment 2. If this is a conservative effort I guess I'm still for it, as past successful civil rights efforts by other groups have also focused on the same concepts. By and large Americans will favor these ideas of fairness and equality more than arcane legal terms and obtuse post-modern liberationist ideas, which will often sail over the heads of the average American. I think awareness-building approaches like this will be more digestible to the American public at large in the long-term fight for equality. Most of the moderate middle still do not really know who we are, and they will tend to believe whatever the Krazy Konservative Kristians (KKK) will tell them. But appealing to an inherent belief in simple fairness often works better than a post-doc treatise on the detailed minutae of heteronormative oppression of the marginalized subcultural familial groups, or something like that.

This morning's Washington Blade (yeah, I still read it despite continual flathering op-ed pieces by Jeff Gannon/Guckert/Whatever) featured a story about HRCs new communications director having worked for "outspoken gay marriage foe" and former Democratic Oklahoma Representative Brad Carson. I can tell you Brad Carson is down with the 'mos despite his voting record. Another of Carson's gay former staffers (and a friend of mine) is an avowed Kenny Chesney stalker, and when the news came out about Chesney's marriage to Renée Zellweger, Carson had the senstitivity to send condolences to the crushed gay Kenney fan. It is not known if Carson sent a missive of celebration to my friend upon Chesney's divorce, but I can tell you secondhand that Carson is aware of and knows gay people to the extent of emotionally supporting bad stalking habits.

But when you are running for a seat in the Senate against an ultra-conservative opponent, you have to say what you need to say to get the vote. When Carson ran for the Senate seat his opponent Coburn was doing the whole gay-baiting and fear-mongering about homos that we saw so much in the last election. I hate to be apologetic for Carson's stance and statement from that time, but a more moderate Carson would have been better in the seat than a nutty Coburn, even though they both state the same thing. Better the devil you know than the nutjob they eventually got, or, it's what Carson does that impresses me more than what he says. Currently Coburn is producing little to nothing for the people who voted for him, whereas Carson made great strides to support and fund law enforcement efforts exposing rural crystal meth labs, which is a huge problem out west.

Big gay DC meth dealer gets 15 years in the slammer, 30 of his dealers prosecuted. Expect major weight gain this fall/winter on 17th Street, counseling services for body dysmorphia and addiction recovery is avaialable at the Elizabeth Taylor Center over on 14th Street. Good luck on that one guys.

And Mr. Hikaru Sulu is gay.

Posted by jimbo at 8:09 AM | Comments (8)

PeaPod Produce Deliveries: a Review

Someone found an entry I wrote about the PeaPod grocery delivery service by Giant and asked me to provide a more detailed account about the quality of my delivered produce. My favorable critique, including a PeaPod Hip Tip of the Day, follows:

I've been using PeaPod for over two years. I tend to order every two weeks for my 'big' orders as I do not have a car and hauling groceries home from the store becomes an unwieldy chore.

Regarding produce, my critique on quality is relative since I usually buy in-store produce from the Soviet Safeway on 17th St., NW, which is generally beat up, stale and limp in the store. So comparitively the produce I get from PeaPod is definitely excellent, but probably not as good as what you would get from Whole Foods. I can attest that the Peapod produce is better than what the in-store produce from either local Giant or Safeway can offer. I usually get romaine lettuce, acorn squash, and broccoli from them, and it is always crisper and fresher than what I can get from local grocery stores. As I recall the meat I ordered a while back wasn't bad either.

PeaPod Hip Tip of the Day: I think it helps if you get deliveries early in the morning as your produce won't have been sweating in the truck all day suffering from temperature fluxuations - and it does get gawdawful hot here in DC as you know. For various reasons I have to get my groceries during the 6-8am time slot, which you can reserve if you plan at least 2-4 days in advance. They are unmercifully on-time at such hours, often waking me up at 6am sharp. If you cannot get your ass out of bed, they will leave your groceries by the door in insulated plastic cartons, as I discovered one morning when I did not wake up in time.

So I'll have to disagree with negative online reviews about bad produce delivered, as the veggies are relatively better for me. I got a delivery just this morning and they were on time, friendly and had my order complete, with the added bonus of a cute dark Irish-looking deliveryman. I 'heart' Peapod, and my coworker does too.

Posted by jimbo at 1:14 AM

October 27, 2005

Brawny Man has a huge package, "Thirst Pockets for Spill Relief"

I have blogged about my favorite paper towel spokesman, the Brawny Man before, who turned 30 this month. I also need to point out that he also has a huge package as recent commercials indicate. Watch the 30 second version of the 'Role Reversal' ad and wait until the scene where he approaches the camera with a cake in one hand and a puppy in the other. Check out the junk in his jeans, he's totally hung. This comes after the scene where he wipes up a dollop of white cream. "Thirst Pockets for Spill Relief" indeed. I like this version of Brawny Man myself. Send your friend a Brawny-gram using Innocent Escapes from their website - it's nearly scruff-porn.

For more strained package action, do check out bulgeblog, props to rising blogebrity Brettie for the tip.

Civilization IV is ready for pre-order, yo, but I'm still caught up in City of Heroes, and eagerly awaiting City of Villians, and all but ignoring my purchased copy of Neverwinter Nights. Where will I find the time?

Posted by jimbo at 2:34 PM | Comments (8)

October 26, 2005

my dealer called me today

My dealer called me today to let me know my Girl Scout Thin Mints are in. She offered to get more (the first box is always free) but I declined, considering the Fat Feeding Season is upon us where every holiday from here until April involves high-calorie intake of one kind or another. I'm going to be strong this winter. Only one box of crack. Just one. Well, maybe one more...

The BEER TENT went well despite early fears that attendance would be low due to shitty weather. I think some press in the Post about the event spurred a lot of people to get out even though the rain and cold made it a generally miserable experience. Our BEER TENT was full of people and I hope it was worth the fundraising effort.

(Side note to the smarty-pants contrarian asshole who makes smarmy comments on my blog from your miserable cubicle at the Swiss Bank Corporation - 222 Broadway, New York, NY 10038 - of course I'm aware that not all gays are trannies and not all trannies are gay. And if you knew anything about our local event you'd be vaguely aware that those who run the drag race are often neither tranny or gay, you know-it-all fuckwad comment troll. It's simply a fun event for everyone, that is organized by gay people - thus categorized as 'gay stuff' in my book and on my blog. Don't you ever correct me on something I know more about than you, be it beer, trannies, birds, fish or Transformers (original series). I come from The Land of the World's Largest 6-Pack and I'll serve you every time, you overeducated cerebro-masturbator fuckhead loser.)

Moving on...three interesting stories from last night. The first was a valiant service to the community by a wise and vigilant doorman at JRs. While I was guarding the edges of our beergarden next to the patio of JRs I noticed a drunk Jennifer with her gay friends waiting in line to get in. I also noticed that much of her drunkenness was totally affected, as she believed she is allowed to cut loose since she's around gay people and can act like a jackass, as many Jennifers do. Then I spotted a long-time JRs doorman who identified her as potential trouble who would have none of that crap and nipped the problem on the butt by simply telling her she couldn't come in. Not surprisingly she miraculously sobered up enough to get bitchy with the bartender and was suddenly glib of tounge as well, proving she was just playing drunk to start with. Either way, score 1 for the hardened doorman for JRs, Jennifer 0. Fags don't let your Jennifers grow up to be sloppy drunks, or to look like one.

My second story is about a social experiment I performed analyzing interactions between competing queens on a half-gay rugby team. And I'm not talking about getting on the A- or B-side either. Here's the story: Jaded Jimbo inquires about the availability of Hottie A from Informant C, also stating that Hottie A is dreamy. Informant C responds by saying Hottie A is already taken by Teammate B, but Informant C also girlishly notes to Jaded Jimbo that she cannot reveal the name of Teammate B, gleefully reveling in the vital secret she keeps so dearly close to her heart. Jaded Jimbo rolls his eyes almost to the back of his head, knowing that he'll find out sooner or later, for Jaded Jimbo is omniscient of all homo goings-on within the Beltway. Seemingly unaware of the all-knowing powers of Jimbo, Informant C insists on being mum, smug in the knowledge that she keeps a not-so-secret so well.

So last night Jaded Jimbo tries an experiment that is sure to reveal the identity of mystery Teammate B who is dating Hottie A. Jaded Jimbo waits until Hottie A is mostly alone, then goes up to Hottie A for a chat, getting well within the normal zone of the American concept of personal space. This sends nonverbal messages to Hottie A and anyone observing (including mystery Teammate B) that I am in fact flirting, or at least getting uncomfortably close to Hottie A. It didn't hurt that we were also both trying to stay dry under an awning. Mystery Teammate B is expected to instantly appear due to percieved threat of me macking on his Hottie A, and in fact does instantly appear, literally out of nowhere. I'd swear he had mutant teleportation powers his appearance was so fast. While I can deal with the fact that Hottie A is probably taken by Teammate B, I can't stand a mystery, and was pleased to have it solved in such a fun way.

Third story: typical tale of a tragic queen with cell phone. I introduce myself and my teammate Brettie to a new teammate. We exchange salutations and begin conversation. In the middle of his first sentence of conversation to us, without an apology or aside, new teammate answers his vibrating cell phone and walks away. Not a word to me and Brettie excusing himself. I roll my eyes for the xth time that evening and Brettie can't believe what just happened. Probably the rudest abuse of cell phone ettiquette I've ever experienced. I may just point it out to him later if I can get a word in between his other cell phone conversations.

Posted by jimbo at 10:45 AM | Comments (10)

October 25, 2005

BEER TENT. high heel race tonight. DRINK BEER.

BEER TENT. More gay stuff this week with the annual 17th street high heel race, starter gun goes off at 9 sharp, but you better be there early to get a good place to stand. It will happen rain or shine, and considering my team has a DRINK BEER, you might as well go there and stay dry and drink beer. SUPPORT RUGBY FAGGOTS.

I could not find a wig in time to race, although I did snatch an awesome pair of stretchy firetruck red BEER TENT capri pants that I do plan on wearing some time in the future. Totally shows off my package too. DRINK BEER.

BEER TENT. Has anyone been to the city of Okanagan in the south central part of British Columbia? DRINK BEER.

Posted by jimbo at 11:53 AM | Comments (4)

October 24, 2005

hot shirtless bearded proto-Mormon pics

No jimbo rugby pics comin' in yet from the weekend, so you'll have to settle for hot bearded shirtless Mormon pics on Otterdoc's blog, and a general assortment of rugby pics from this weekend on Joe Tresh's Washington photo blog.

Posted by jimbo at 4:25 PM

October 23, 2005

no. more. gay. stuff.

Tons 'o gay this weekend, filling me almost to capacity with gayness. Luckily tonight I'll fulfill some geekness with the D&D gang. On Friday I went to two good flicks at the Reel Affirmations XV gay & lesbian & whatever film festival with a screening of "The Mostly Unfabulous Life of Ethan Green," an adaptation of the comic strip and "Freshman Orientation," which was about the misadventures of a straight guy pretending to be gay to get the girl, who was tasked to break the heart of a gay man to get into her sorority. Wacky mayhem ensues.

On Saturday we played the team from a nearby Marine base, and while we did not win we got the least amount of points against us than any team in our league who have played them this fall. Then I had to take an online exam. Mental note: do not schedule anything on a Saturday evening after a rugby match. I'm just too wiped out to commit, but did manage to drag myself to my first experience at the Miss Adams Morgan drag pageant. It was much bigger than I expected, but I'm kinda glad I was almost two hours late because I may not have been able to handle that much gay in one day.

Me, a drag queen, and Xena, Warrior Princess:
drag queen, me and Xena, Warrior Princess
Mr. Jackson is looking for some children...
Fellatious Maximus and Priapus Pullo, of Rome, and Johntiqus of Beaverhausen:
gurlicus and phallus maximus
Gurl, and Burl:
a gurl, a burl

Posted by jimbo at 1:44 PM | Comments (5)

October 20, 2005

'Aqua' - discuss

So I loved tonight's episode of Smallville featuring the debut of Aquaman played by former American Idol tryout Alan Ritchson. But was he as much of a B.O.Q. (Big 'ol Queen) during the Idol tryouts? I'm not one to perpetuate stereotypes, and there's always an element of swishful thinking when an actor is so hot, but during any scene involving walking he had a swish wider than a humpback whale's tailslap. And it looked like kissing Lois Lane was just as painful to Ritchson as kryptonite is to Superman. Every time he had a speaking part I could imagine the show's writers cringing and thinking up excuses as to why Aquaman can't talk: "Hmm...well maybe Aquaman can't talk because there's water in his lungs?"

- The underwater fight scene between Aquaman and Supes was the thing that makes geeks stay up at night in glee. Totally awesome.
- I like the environmentally-conscious bent to Aquaman's character. Swooon!
- Loved the explanation of why Aquaman wears that orange and green combo - of course he went to college at U. of Miami, he has to wear Hurricane colors!
- Nice nod to the J.L.A. (Junior Lifesavers Association) at the end of the show.

I am hoping the plotline of Smallville ultimately leads to the formation of the Justice League. Flash, Aquaman and Superman present and accounted for.

Posted by jimbo at 11:08 PM | Comments (6)

TV's Dirtiest Daddy

mike roweI've been meaning to watch Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel just to watch former Food Lion commercial spokesguy Mike Rowe, a dirty Daddy who takes a look at different dirty jobs with a hands on approach. On the show the 43 year-old vocalicious hunk tackles everything from pigeon feces removal to household clean up after a sewer back up. The screencap is from an episode where he visits a mud bath spa, with lots of shirtlessness goin' on. Additional screencaps appreciated and promptly downloaded to the pornucopia in the folder labeled "woof."

Posted by jimbo at 1:27 AM | Comments (5)

October 19, 2005

cute candidates, drag queens, aquaman, gay cowboys, marines

I mentioned Sam Brooks before with hopes that he would be running for mayor of DC, but I'll have to settle for the preppy cutie for DC City Council Ward 3 (Georgetown area) representative instead. While the 25 year old dreamy DC native has a campaign website, it looks like he needs some design and content management help with it. I volunteer! It's actually the only way I could support him, since I'm a Ward 1 resident and voting for him would be moot.

Worldwide Dungeons and Dragons Day November 5. Geek out at your local select hobby and toy stores and maybe score some quality geek schwag. For a 24-hour period, enthusiasts are invited to participate in campaigns designed especially for the event.

October might as well be Gay Pride Month, or perhaps Tranny Pride as the drag race is next Tuesday (I might be running, more news at 11) and Saturday is the Miss Adams Morgan Pageant. I will be rooting for Miss Arizona.

Queer geeks are not to miss out on Thursday's episode of Smallville on the WB, featuring the debut of an unbelieveably hunky Aquaman (Props to Just Jared). And tonight is the season premiere of my favorite, Drawn Together on Comedy Central.
aqua fucking stud
I understand there is a gay cowboy film coming soon in theatres near you. I have read about it on every gay blog ever created. Jake Guildenhildenhall and Heath Letcher or somebody. They kiss. I get it. Gay cowboy film. OK. Understood.

This Saturday the Renegades Rugby Football Club plays the Marines from Quantico base in Virginia at 1pm, Colmar Manor Park in Maryland. It should be a fun match to watch and play. Social to follow at Titan.

Posted by jimbo at 11:50 AM | Comments (5)

October 18, 2005

AOL you suck

Dear AOL:

I want to get my e-mail now. I do not want to wait two days for it either or even an hour. Now. I do not want to learn more about Madonna, meteor showers, or lowering my mortgage rate either.

I pay something like $23 a month for a limited e-mail storage space, fucking ad banners and denial of access to my e-mail. Then I call tech support to bitch and have to speak to a fucking robot only to be put on hold for an indefinite amount of time. Then after I get my chance to bitch you forward me to a telemarketer? Fuckers.

Despite all the local whiz kids masturbating their egos working for you over there in the soulless Northern Virginia wasteland, your service sucks. You suck.


Posted by jimbo at 10:23 AM | Comments (4)

October 17, 2005

howabout "Tai Shaniqua"?

butterstickjimbo.jpgthe many faces of jimboThis morning's edition of the Washington Post Express newspaper featured a story about the final naming of the giant panda cub at the National Zoo, which ended up being "Tai Shan," which is totally lame. The caption for the photo states that "He really wants to be called 'Jimbo'," despite the "Butterstick" naming campaign led by Chrisafer and Beaverhausen.

Yes, folks, no one asked the baby panda what he really wanted, which was to be named appropriately as all small, furry and fat things are named. Other pseudonyms for 'Jimbo' have traditionally been names like Ewok, Monchichi, Care Bear and Snuggle Cub.

Naming the cub "Tai Shaniqua" would have been more appropriate than what was finally selected. But despite all the brouhaha, you'll always be "Jimbo" the panda cub to me.

Posted by jimbo at 10:23 AM | Comments (11)

October 15, 2005

riding the bus with my sister

cory and jimbo reenact the hallmark television specialI never had the pleasure of seeing the Hallmark Hall of Fame made for TV movie Riding The Bus With My Sister featuring Rosie O'Donnell and Andie MacDowell, but here's a picture of me and former blogger Corey trying to reenact the screenplay on the way to work one morning. Corey even got the strap right on his costume. Apparently we could probably get better reviews than Rosie did. Every day I take a 30 minute metrorail trip from my home to a station close to work, then I hop on a shuttle bus to campus. Sometimes I see Corey there too, especially when I'm running late, which was a lot last week becasue it was so cloudy and my bed was sooo comfy on cool cloudy mornings that I can't get my hibernatin' ass outta bed. I took my camera to work every day with the hopes of catching some crime or calamity on film, but this comparison picture was all I could come up with last week.

Oh, the drama of organizing the holiday party for work. I now regret raising my hand to volunteer for the committee, for the forces at work for what would seem a simple event are complex and Machiavellian indeed. Our committee is warned not to do this, that or the other thing for it simply was not done before, God forbid. Not even a cash bar for booze because people shouldn't drink and drive. What is a holiday party without a few drunk people to make it memorable?

Our committee quickly learned that we have to meet in secret locations and keep our plans "on the down-low" lest office panic and hysteria erupt. Everyone who did not volunteer to organize has an opinion of how it should be done once decisions have been made. Our committee now uses hyperencrypted e-mail messages using fabricated identities, and we alert each other in person about our clandestine meetings using the Navajo Code Talkers' Dictionary.

Today we played a match against a new team in the local league south of D.C. whose pitch is on the banks of the Rappahannock River. A week before the heavy rains caused the river to surge over its banks and flooded the pitch, which was covered with a gooey layer of river mud a la New Orleans. But at least it wasn't dusty. Muddy is better than dusty.

Beaverhausen John alerts me of scientific interest in the recent World of Warcraft "Corrupted Blood" virtual plague which may lead to insights in real infectious diseases and the public response to them. Researchers use virtual environments to test all sorts of things, and online games seem to have become an unexpected environment for study.

And from high school buddy Travis back home, some comforting news: while gas prices have gone up in the U.S., the cost of lutefisk dinners in Wisconsin have not. Prices in the southern Wisconsin lutefisk area remain in the $12 to $13 range for the all-you-can-eat gourmet fish feed including meatballs, lefse, mashed potatoes, some form of vegetable and lots of sweets for dessert.

Posted by jimbo at 6:39 PM | Comments (3)

October 12, 2005

the snakeheads are running

no, this isn't roccoIt looks like the snakehead breeding cycle is stimulated by flooding. During the heavy rains last weekend they were observed migrating upstream in areas of the Potomac, much like salmon would, or more like the bowfin (dogfish) do back home in the bottomlands of the Mississippi during spring flooding season, going inland during high waters to breed. The two species even have the same morphology (shape), another example of parallel evolution into similar ecological niches.

Oh, sorry for the evolution reference to all those who subscribe to intelligent design. But then again y'all probably think the fish walks around on two legs too.

In the recent WaPo article about the fish they again quoted the hottie fisheries biologist I lust over. WOOF! Sadly, no pictures available of hottie fisheries biologist with the most recent article, but here's a peek at the hottie from an article in May. This Just In: video footage of hottie fisheries biologist. Click on 'alien fish' link in upper right corner of browser window.

In other rain-related news, rugby practice was mercifully cancelled last night due to a muddy field that the city parks department does not want their fields trampled like a herd of water buffalo had hosted a circuit party on 'em. Me body needed a break anyway, and maybe the wounds on my knees may get the chance to heal over before Christmas.

This week marks my two-year anniversary in the same job, quite an accomplishment after my ride on the dot-com rollercoaster chasing salaries and sane places to work. I believe this is also the longest time I have been in one workplace during my eight years in Washington, D.C. My "longevity" where I work now is due to the fact that I finally sat down and gave some thought about what I wanted to do, and targeted jobs that I really wanted, rather than what would pay the most or sounded most fabulous. I like what I do, and it shows in my work and my mood.

I am thinking about getting rid of my cell phone. I need to cut expenses, and a cell phone is an extravagance. I plan most of what I do, and I can gab with my friends from home. Homer is pretty much the only person I call for any period of time these days.

Posted by jimbo at 10:16 AM | Comments (8)

October 10, 2005

mud, sweat and beers

Friday I wimped out on happy hour with a bunch of DC bloggers in lieu of a long princess nap. 1 1/2 hours tells me I needed it, so I was well rested for the Bob Mould Band concert at the 9:30 club. The music was great and I had lots of fun. TJ ("Mackasaurus rex") made it especially pleasant. >; ) Dumbek has a good rundown of some of the crowd and music here. Judging by the roar of the crowd during what Brettie told me was some of his old stuff, I wish I knew a bit more about Husker Du and Sugar songs. Regardless, it was also a good deal since it was a rather long set of songs. Daddy Rich Morel on the keyboards reminded me of Dr. Teeth. I guess that makes Bob more of a Janice, since he plays guitar, fer sure.

A tropical storm sat her soggy ass on the D.C. Metro area for two days, promising for a very wet rugby match on Saturday. She continued to pour throughout our two matches, the first against a low-down dirty-playin' head-cleatin' team from Winchester. Our A-side tied them 5-5 in a great match, a far cry from when they used to run us over in the double digits. Next year, cupcakes. I played scrumhalf on the B-side match against the Philly gay team. No cleat mashing from Philly, but I got a nice testicle yank from one guy. Bitch, please...I used to date the president of Men of Discipline and did a workshop on CBT - save it for after the match.
jimbo stops the unstoppable
The mud was so wet it didn't really stick. It was more like a thick tea by the time we were playing. I'm glad I get a tetanus shot every year.
Philly improves every time we play them. Our B-side lost, but I forget the score.
Our scrums rarely hatched the egg for Scrummy Jimbo.
It was a fun 3rd half social which included a Kangaroo Court. Can you find the product placement in this photo? (photo creds to Brettie)

Posted by jimbo at 9:43 PM | Comments (7)

October 7, 2005

Celebrate Brett Favre Day on October 10

Openly gay Wisconsin State Senator Tim Carpenter (D) passes into legislation Brett Favre Day on the scruffy man's birthday of October 10, 1969.

National Coming Out Day follows Brett Favre Day on October 11.

If I was still living in Wisconsin and still in the closet, the timing of both events would certainly expedite the process of coming out for me.
Photograph by Rick Chapman Photography. More of Brett in this gallery on his site.

Jimbo.info encourages everyone to wear green and gold on October 10, and to not shave, in honor of Brett Favre Day.

Posted by jimbo at 1:35 PM | Comments (9)

October 5, 2005

your taxicab zone map sucks

Jimbo's Sample_Zone_Map1.jpg
I'm all for the metered fare change with DC taxicabs. I was over the whole zone system a long time ago. Try reading that crappy map in the back of a dark taxicab when the car is rumbling over potholes and you're drunk and trying to hold back a wave of vomit. I spent a mere half hour making some improvements to the confusing map based on some very basic tenets of graphic design and Geography 101. Maybe if these issues were taken care of a long time ago, people wouldn't be so upset about the zone system. I can tell you I have been ripped off by more than one unsavory cab driver who can easily take advantage of the arcane zone rules and confusing map. PDF Version of my map.

- Let's start with the orientation of the map. How many DC maps have North pointing 45% to the left? Not the map of the MetroRail system. Not the map of DC on the DC government website. In fact, most maps orient North at the top of the page, and South at the bottom. That's what people are accustomed to. Why does the DC Taxicab Commission feel that it's an exception to this rule? Let's not skew the map for convenience here and tilt it the right way. And who cares if Bethesda is cut out of the map. If they're from Bethesda they probably don't need to take a cab, and probably aren't worried about zone fare differences if they did.

- Once it's tilted the right way I can now orient myself as to where I live and I can easily see what the delineations are between zones without tilting my head 45% to the left. Isn't that nice? If I had more time I would orient all street names and zone numbers the same way, and would make the font size bigger for those with impaired vision. Again, this map should be made for those who are viewing it, which include drunk and illiterate people, and strangers from out of town. The current map is designed by and for bureaucrats.

- The pastel colors serve no purpose on this map, unless you intend to show that water is blue and the DuPont Circle area is pink. Colors are also useless in the back of a taxicab at night - they all blend together in shades of grey when you are viewing the map at night. Colors are useless to the colorblind as well. 1/5 of all males are color blind. Keep it black and white, with no greys. The obvious borders between zones negate the need to delineate the zones by color.

Of course, this won't help me evacuate DC by cab when the Federal Government doesn't tell the DC government that there is a dangerous bacteria on the National Mall until a week has passed. The bacteria was first detected last weekend during the Pro/Anti War Rallies, but the local city government was not formally informed. Again, in the event of an actual disaster, we are fucked.

Posted by jimbo at 10:52 AM | Comments (18)

October 4, 2005

jimbo's appointees

OK, so like, if elected President of the United States of America, I will like appoint all my friends, family, casual acquaintances and those who worship me into the following positions and made up departments, because I'm, like, the President and stuff and I can just like appoint whomever I want, right?

- Mom: Headmistress of Knitting, Quilting, Crochet, and Home Improvement.
- Brian, my brother: President's Council on Fitness and Getting Stoned.
- Bruce, my other brother: President's Council on Lumber and Nice Decks.
- Gurl: FEMA Director (have you seen her untidy room? A DISASTER!!!)
- Chrisafer: Federal Communications Commission Chairman (she likes to gossip about media and stuff).
- Doug: Supreme Court (I think she's a lawyer or something).
- Homer: Bureau of Land Management Director and Head Archaeology Guy.
- Mari: Sovereign Queen of The District of Columbia
- TJ: International Make-Out Commission
- Eric: Anything Having to do with Flags, Scruff, and Pictures of Food.
- Fitz: Domes and Old Electronic Devices Department.
- Josh: Ultimate Emperor of the Rocky Mountain Region and Grand Instigator of Teeth Grinding
- Tos: Department of Caffinated & Salacious Banter
- Glennalicious: Director of Education (Mostly Math) and Champion of Simiankind.

Posted by jimbo at 11:32 AM | Comments (12)

October 3, 2005

care and feeding for your pet diva

The other night while walking to Mr. Henry's down Pennsylvania Avenue, a young, drunk, female Hill Drone shuffled by screeching out the standard sorority mating call: "Ohmigawd! I am SOOOO DRUNK!" I know it sounds cliché, but she actually said that. I whispered to my companion, "That's what we call a 'Jennifer' here in DC."

Jennifer also goes out to gay bars a lot. If you're a Jennifer new to DC, please reference this blog entry on tips on how to be a well-behaved Jennifer out at the gay bars. Or as Sean would say, care and feeding for your "Pet Diva" while out on the town.

"Oh, Mighty Isis." Cue cheesy wind sound effects, diva launches into the air.

Maryland beat Virginia this weekend. Neener, neener, neener. Maybe all that crappy Dave Matthews Band music will go away now, to be replaced by Marvin Suggs and his Muppephones.

Posted by jimbo at 2:49 PM | Comments (4)

October 2, 2005

SPAMmers work on the weekends

Damn...I blacklisted some 50 SPAM backtrack links this morning on the blog. Clearly SPAMmers work on the weekends. There's been some wierdness with normal comments not coming through as well, so I apologize in advance. Due to excessive comment SPAM in the past, I have to moderate normal reader comments as well as SPAM comments and backtracks. Some reader commenters have been reporting being automatically blocked, so I set the moderation settings on the blog for me to approve all comments. I'm hoping that didn't open the floodgates for this morning's SPAM comments, so we'll see.

My God...it's full of stars!
Yesterday started out as a good weather day for rugby, but later on got kinda warm, making for a sweaty, dirty rugby match. We had a lot of players ready to play, but the opposing team barely had a team, so I got picked to play flanker for the opposing team, a position I've played only a few times in the past, but definitely got more familiar as the game went on. It was fun until I got bonked in the head in a ruck, causing a series of trippy tracer waves to fly across my left eye for the remainder of the match. "My" team won, but not by much, in a match the Renegades should have won even without my "help" in a few errors caused by my delerious presence on the opposing team. They were good guys to play for though, and the social was fun.

After I recovered a bit I showered and layed down for a nap before going out to the Nationals game. Not 10 minutes into my disco nap I heard a couple of crotch rocket motorcylcles going down the dogleg street outside my bedroom window. I heard a crash, then a long screech outside, followed by some, "Are you OK?" shoutings. A motorcylclist had crashed and skidded down the street after taking the turn too fast. His leathers saved him, but he learned why Vermont Avenue is so quiet - it's a twisty, confusing street that most motorists avoid. His bike leaked a huge oil slick on the street.

The excitement kept me from going back to the nap, so I got ready and me and my friend headed towards the stadium via Metrorail. As we got off at the Stadium/Armory station for the 7pm game I noticed a lot of folks with Nationals hats heading back to the station, and I thought that was wierd. Turns out there was a game time change that was only apparent on the website - and if you didn't check the website you were misinformed as to what was said on the ticket. Oh well. I was pooped from the match and still a little loopy, so it wasn't a huge loss. We headed to Mr. Henry's for supper. He had a race to run on Sunday, so I bid him goodbye and headed home, in bed at a decent hour.

Much laundry to do today, and I must buy new running shoes so I don't have an excuse not to do some cardio to complement the anaerobic exercise from rugby. Perhaps a short jaunt to Taint if I'm still up to it by tonight.

Posted by jimbo at 12:30 PM | Comments (1)