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September 30, 2005

happy birthday muppets

- The Muppets are 50 years old now. Celebrate with a commemorative stamp of Miss Piggy, Kermit, Fozzie Bear or my personal favorite, The Swedish Chef. Jim Henson's creations first debuted in the Washington, DC region, and he went to school where I work, which honors him with a commemorative statue and garden.

- This morning I found a number of drunk e-mails in my mailbox from various people. One of them is from my brother. I cannot translate it thoroughly enough to know whether he is in jail, trying to sell his jade plant, got kicked out of his girlfriend's house, wants to go out for a beer, or all of the above. The message is that cryptic.

- The Halloween spectacular planned at the local nightclub Nation on October 29 is aptly named "Skin and Bones." Bring some candy to feed the starving Tina twinks - if they even have molars with which to chew. X-Factor, my favorite dance group ever, will be performing, with decorations by RKM, so it may be worth a gander.

Posted by jimbo at 11:13 AM | Comments (4)

September 29, 2005

Renegades rugby home match this Saturday

photo by brettie
This coming Saturday, October 1 the Washington Renegades Rugby Football Club will play the Pax (Patuxent) River men's rugby team. Kick off is at 1 p.m at Colmar Manor Park. Directions to the pitch are here.

The pitch (field) is Metro accessible, a short walk from the West Hyattsville station on the Green Line.

It is our first home match of the season. We have beaten PAX River before on their home turf in the spring. Last weekend we won our first fall season match against the Unifromed Services University of the Health Sciences (U.S.U.H.S.) team in a nail-biting 10-0 win. So this Saturday should be a good match.

Social to follow at Hamburger Mary's probably around 3 or 4pm or so. Free beer and munchies.

Posted by jimbo at 12:26 PM | Comments (1)

September 28, 2005

giant squid photographed for first time

it came from belowThis is incredible news...up until now biologists have had to depend on giant squid corpses washed ashore or found in the stomachs of harpooned sperm whales.

The find sheds light on a part of our world that we don't know much about. It almost seems easier to conduct research in space than in the depths of our oceans. The photographs taken of the squid conjure up thoughts of Jules Verne and giant apes battling pterodactyls. After thinking about why this is so exciting to me, I figured out that it's the whole mystery component of the story...that despite all the discoveries in the world there are sill mysteries to be found. It's the feeling I used to get when I would go waterskiing on the Mississippi with my family. While waiting for the boat to get back after wiping out, I'd let my legs hang down in the water as I floated on the river. Just a few feet below the surface of the muddy Miss the temperature drops, leaving your legs cold and dangling in the darkness. Imagination churns - "What's under my feet?" I would wonder, imagining giant gar, paddlefish or catfish brushing up against my legs. It always gave me an electrifying mix of fear and wonder. You're sure there's nothing but carp and bluegill down there, yet Legends persist of giant catfish spotted below the locks and dams on the Mississippi River.

I think it's the same reason I like to go fishing even though I rarely keep or eat the fish. I don't choose my lure to catch a particular kind or maximize the size of fish I catch, I choose my lure with the goal of catching the most types of fish. Even a hot fisheries biologist with an electroshock survey setup will not stir up every fish in a stream. Throwing out the lure merely samples what is going on under the water. The water conceals the mysteries below the surface, and as air-breathers we only get an occasional tease of what is actually down there. Most of the time we will never know, as it's not normally our business.

And while the giant squid is now less mysterious to us, they have yet to capture the colossal squid on film. So stay tuned - and don't let your legs dangle too long in the water.

Posted by jimbo at 11:12 AM | Comments (7)

September 27, 2005

virtual bloodborne pathogen is killing online characters

Wow, this shit is getting crazy - a "Corrupted Blood" plague in the online game World of Warcraft has broken out, killing virtual characters:

The digital disease instantly killed lower level characters and did not take much longer to kill even powerful characters.
The "Corrupted Blood" plague is not the first virtual disease to break out in game worlds. In May 2000 many players of The Sims were outraged when their game characters died because of an infection contracted from a dirty virtual guinea pig.

With people killing each other in real time over virtual property, or people dying of starvation from playing too much online games, it's becoming more and more like The Matrix.

I'm in no danger of any of the above things happening to me - my DSL died last night with no warning. While I'm getting more sleep now, the withdrawl siezures are starting up...

Posted by jimbo at 10:00 AM | Comments (2)

September 26, 2005

troll bashing

Yesterday during a very unfocused D&D session with the gang I was telling a story:

"So like, there I was on a mission against Atta and his gang of trolls. The rest of the party got knocked out and Geardagh was gettin' POUNDED by like 30 trolls, and he was trying to fight them off one by one. The lone defender that survived with me was like, 'Gear, you're INCREDIBLE!' But eventually I had to run and snipe them one by one."

"So are you describing your evening at Nation or on City of Heroes?" Gurl replied.

My night at Nation was fun, although I wasn't fighting off Trolls. It has been almost a year since I had been there, and little has changed other than the fact that even less attention is going towards keeping the place clean. There was pee all over the floor in the toilet stalls by 12:30, and a puddle of vomit in a major hallway went ignored most of the evening. Don't they have a cleaning crew for that stuff? When I blew chunks at Chicago's O'Haire airport one time it was cleaned up in minutes. But an airport is not a cheap club slated for bulldozing I guess, so they aren't that motivated. Anyhow, the guys there were very, very friendly, making for an evening I'll describe as a "Feel-Good Night."

At one point during the evening, it happened again - I got the usual "You should SMILE!" comment. I get that a lot when I go out. While I was dancing happily and was actually thinking of puppies, unicorns, butterflies and rainbows, when my face is at rest in its natural position it looks like I'm scowling, if the comments of so many people indicate. My old response used to be, "I AM smiling!" but now I just put a forced stupid grin on my face the rest of the evening to keep the happy-monger gestapo at bay.

I heard what I thought might be a modern dance cover of "Nasty Girl," formerly by Vanity 6 circa Purple Rain and all that. I know there is a Destiny's Child song called "Nasty Girl," but it is not the same song. Who just did this cover?

On Saturday we played a nail-biting rugby match, winning 10-0 against one of our league teams. It was our first win in a league matrix tournament in the fall, and it was well-earned. I got to play scrumhalf on the not-so-successful B-side match, but played well individually.

Posted by jimbo at 10:20 AM | Comments (12)

September 23, 2005

pissing contests: a primer for the non-technical

Yeah, I got 2.5 million hits in the past year alone, and that's not counting the previous 4 years this blog has existed. But that doesn't mean shit since a hit is not a visit nor a page view. Since blogs are now all about popularity contests, pageantry, being offensive, and traffic whoring, I now have to say 30,000 people visited my site last month, but since it's cool to use the hit statistic with misleading numbers, I guess I am forced to say I got 214,000 hits last month.

A hit statistic from your server log is any request to the server, which could include access to embedded CSS code, a single banner graphic, or a single web page file. A page visit is a view of the home page, comment page, or blog entry page. For you blogwhores who are obsessed with who and how many people are viewing your site, you need to fixate more on the number of visits to your site. This represents one person viewing your site one time. He/she may be counted multiple times if he/she visits several times a day. If you really wanted to be humble you would crow about unique visits, which is only counting one visitor, regardless of how many times he/she viewed your site in a day.

Now, for the interesting stuff: who is the queen from Brunei Darussalam who's looking at my site? Howabout my stalker from Quinnipiac University? Where the hell is Quinnipiac University? Who the hell from Fannie May has time to read my blog? Give something back and get me a decent home loan in this area for some payback.

Posted by jimbo at 10:12 AM | Comments (11)

September 22, 2005

required reading, fall TV geek review

colin ferrell shows us how it's doneI'm glad Colin Ferrel is my study partner this semester, because I'm gonna need lots of study breaks. I got accepted into the adult education segment of the UM system, but on a less theoretical, more management track for a public affairs Master's degree. I know management classes won't hurt me, and the coursework is basically free due to work benefits, but it seems the other classes I took previously like Persuasion and The Rhetoric of Social Movements were definitely more my speed. It looks like this semester is gonna be a snoozer:

- Weber, Max. (1946). Essays in Sociology. A Horridly Long Treatise on Bureaucracy.
Anyone having trouble sleeping? This stuff is like 6 Xanax + several hits of Ketamine downed with some GHB. Without the siezures.

- Fisher, Alex. (2001). Critical Thinking: an Introduction.
Now I can be an educated comment troll and make annoying corrections to other people's blog entries.

- Mann, Clarence. (2005). The Development of Management Theory & Practice in the United States.
Now I can learn exactly why that manager was a total asshole.

I suppose I should be reading assigned chapters from the above citations, but I'm afraid reading them will make me fall asleep again, and I already did 12 hours last night. I got a bug of some sort, or seasonal allergies - everyone at work is sick too. I got some good couch lizard time last night and watched new and old shows last night with Gurl:

- Supernatural: 2 cute guys...imagine Scully and Mulder's love child marries Buffy and has two ghost hunter boys who know what they were fighting. Dungeons & Dragons geeks will love all the obscure monster references. Smells of The Night Stalker, which will also premiere this fall on ABC. Don't know if they can beat the charm of Kolchak and low-tech costumes of the originial.

- Invasion: cute scruffy park ranger with perfect hair who just happens to have a completely stocked laboratory which is probably set up to diagnose alien parasites and infections. Umm, yeah, I always had a completely stocked lab when I was a park ranger too. More questions, no answers, I'm over that. Created by Shaun Cassidy, interestingly enough.

- Charmed: is still on the air!!! I may have to watch it simply due to its longevity, bitchy cast members and hottie cameos.

- Smallville: I haven't been a dutiful geek and watched it as much as I should. It's always good when I stop in to watch. This season Clark finally gets his Fortress of Solitude, and Lex Luthor finally becomes a nemesis. Daddy Kent is still hot, sporting scruff in nearly every episode.

- Lost premiere: yeah, you bitches better cough up some answers this season, or it's over between us. At least we know what's in the hatch: Jack's 'roided out rugby playing ex-boyfriend Duncan! Hurley still has the best lines. HURLEY RULES!!!

Posted by jimbo at 3:01 PM | Comments (7)

September 20, 2005

shallow gay dc voters demand cute mayoral candidates

dreamy sam brooksAs the DC mayoral race heats up between Mr. Orange, Mr. Blackberry and Mrs. Cropp (in the billiard room with a candlestick), I reminisce back to the last election for DC city council, where a dreamy, 24-year old Sam Brooks ran, but failed in his bid. Mr. Brooks, wouldn't this be an opportune time to run again? I'm not saying the other candidates are butt-ugly, but it would please me to see your sparkly smile out there again. 'swoon!'

scott brooks artworkAn unrelated Scott Brooks is showing his artwork at Gallery Neptune through October 1. I'm no art critic, but I like it as his work reminds me of the droopy love child of Norman Rockwell and Tony DiTerlizzi.

You queens kill me... on a typical post about scruff, woof, etc. I'll get the usual suspects commenting on such things. But when I make a shout out for skin care tips or furniture advice, I get just as many, if not more, gay commenters coming out of the woodwork to share. Commenters who normally lurk around reading, who seem to by DYING to tell me how to decorate. I'm not bitching, it just strikes me as funny. Anyhow, 9 out of 10 homos prefer Leksvik style furniture, but on the advice of one homo furniture advisor, I found this lovely mission-style cocktail table. Again, I agonize...this time it's Leksvik vs. Mission.

Posted by jimbo at 10:29 AM | Comments (16)

September 19, 2005

eat lola eat

I know many human lives were lost or ruined due to Katrina, but like many people I also found myself worrying about the dogs, cats and other animals left behind in New Orleans. I never thought about the animals until I read Sturtle, but I'm happy to read that Lola is now O.K. and with her family. I can't find the excellent set of photos documenting the animal rescue in last week's Washington Post, but this week's coverage continues.

In other pet news, I'm in the process of moving my guppy population from my outdoor pond back inside for the winter. It seems they have been busy over the summer being, well, guppies. Anyone need a few dozen young gaily-colored livebearers?

An even larger crisis looms on the horizon: which coffee table should I get from IKEA: Leksvik or Bankesta? I'm leaning towards Leksvik, mostly due to the fact that it matches the rest of my furniture. But I love the storage space that Bankesta offers.

Posted by jimbo at 3:39 PM | Comments (12)

September 18, 2005

need sleep badly

jimbo on beach
I got a last-minute invite to a beachouse in Ocean City late last week. Considering how burnt out I was by the end of the week perhaps it wasn't the best decision to go. A late-night roast beef sandwitch didn't help my sleep Friday night, making me a grumpy beach zombie most of the day on Saturday, so I decided to leave Saturday night to get at least one night of sleep in my own comfy bed, and to spare the rest of the beach house residents from the Wrath of the Grumpy Princess. It was fun though, as I only need to do one weekend at the beach, as I'm more of a cool mountain person than a beach person.
gurlz on beach
I did get to eat my annual bag of cotton candy, and I played the crane machine game at the arcade and snagged a plush fishie. I saw porpoises in the surf.

Posted by jimbo at 2:36 PM | Comments (5)

September 14, 2005

fists, film festival

Here is my level 17 magic tanker displaying the latest rage in supergroup fashion - the official outfit and logo (fashion design by Rad Jacket Sean) for the supergroup Crucible:
geardagh at attention
Crucible, founded by fellow tanker Bad Daddy, caters "to the more rugged, man-on-man set." While the fist motif isn't quite right, I love the overall scheme.

Ohmigawd! Serve up a cup of ambition and re-live the antics of Judy Bernly, Violet Newstead, and Doralee Rhodes at the D.C. Labor Filmfest this weekend, organized and presented by the Metropolitan Washingon Council of the AFL-CIO, the Jones-Douglass Institute and the American Film Institute. My favorite film featured is 9 to 5 which will be screened on Saturday night at 7, with a live appearance by Jane Fonda!
barbarella psyhedella

Posted by jimbo at 8:23 PM | Comments (3)

September 13, 2005

the search for Concrete Man continues

Fstclss Ramblings has been posting thorough documentation of the renovation and landscaping of his home, paying special attention to the quality of his construction crew. In particular, his observations on and photography of a woofy clone of jimbo rivals that of famed primatologists Jane Goodall and Dian Fossey:

My stalking of the concrete man continues. They were back last week on Thursday and Friday pouring our neighbor's driveway and the rest of our sidewalk. I stepped out with my camera and took a couple of pictures. Unfortunately, his shirt remained on.
concrete man
Keep up the good work. I personally love his cute yellow galoshes. I am willing to aid in the development of the Fstclss Ramblings Concrete Man Institute, dedicated to the study, preservation and photography of Concrete Man (Homo concretus).

Posted by jimbo at 3:27 PM | Comments (10)

September 12, 2005

Apollo's Belt indeed

These screencaps, courtesy of Bentblog, really don't do Friday's barracks scene from Battlestar Galactica much justice. Try and catch the episode if you can, but here's the best sample of Jamie Bamber (Bam-Bam) who plays Apollo on the show:
And really, if you aren't watching BSG these days, what's your problem? All woofy/hottie comments aside, it's the best writing and acting on television these days.

Posted by jimbo at 9:36 AM | Comments (19)

September 11, 2005

GWM seeks clear, scentless, glycerin-based bar soap for lifelong partnership

Drove up Friday night to State College to stay overnight for our first rugby match of the season against the Penn State old boys team The Happy Valley Barbarians. To drive up Saturday morning would have been a drag, and it's not fun to arrive all stiff and tired from the 3 hour drive. We played better than I expected with all the new players, having lost so many due to typical DC turnover. This is a transient town, and turnover is a major issue with recruitment on our team. I was not mentally in the game for sure, but will write that off due to having been away all season and I will be more focused in the next match. Cold showers always feel sooo good after a match, and are required not only to get clean but to cool off from the woofy scenery as we played right after the mostly-shirtless Penn State College team was loitering hotly on the sidelines. Sorry, I forgot my camera.

Speaking of showers, a minor crisis is underway as the soap of my life, Dial Clear Bar Soap, is now missing from all outlets in The District. It was last spotted at the New York Avenue Giant, but is now reported as a missing skin care product, featured on the back of milk cartons in The District at my request. It's a translucent orange bar soap and came in a clear plastic container. I went to the Nancy Boy website to try some kind of alternate, likely expensive, to replace my long lost love. I don't like the standard solid bar soaps or shower gels for showering, as they leave my skin too dry and they are usually too perfumed. An inferior replacement bar soap is currently exuding an overpowering flowery stench from my shower stall, burning my throat and eyes as I write. I prefer scentless glycerin-based bar soaps, and Dial Clear was the only one that produced enough suds to get me clean, especially after rugby. I've tried Tom's of Maine and generic glycerin bars form Whole Foods, but they did not compare. Any suggestions?

FYI: while Nancy Boy is a body care company, the owner has a blog featured on the company website. At first I thought the combo of a company and a blog wasn't a good idea, but the guy is a good writer, especially his description of his time with Up With People, good for a laugh.

Posted by jimbo at 11:59 AM | Comments (10)

September 10, 2005

a retraction

After reading Rob's comment on yesterday's frothy entry about the Washington Blade and an e-mail from the Blade's hunky editor himself, I see the point about the importance of varying opinions in a paper, which I suppose is better than reading a series of like-minded ghettoized opinions in a paper or from group of similarly minded blogs. I do try to read conservative, ultra-liberal and libertarian blogs to understand how those people think and to get perspective, even when they sometimes make me grind my teeth to the bone.

And perhaps I should be more thoughtful when writing entries later in the week when I've had little more sleep than a meth addict due to my own addiction to online computer games. I'll tend to rant and froth more by Friday then on a Monday, making "wild accusations" just like Mickey Weens says meth addicts will tend to do. I suppose the variety of viewpoints featured in the Blade aren't all that different from my hometown paper back in Wisconsin (featuring lots of quotes from the Bible), or the variety of people you'll meet at a trip to the Post Office, where you'll wait in line with people you'd rather not hang out with during your daily routine. It is important to be exposed to others and their opinions.

So I guess I won't write off the Blade altogether. And I should have been fair and admitted that I'm certain to use the Blade's classified ads if I move in the future. I've had good luck with the rental ads there. >; )

Posted by jimbo at 11:37 AM | Comments (4)

September 9, 2005

it is over between me and the blade, and clint black too

I just read my last issue of DC's gay/lez/bi/trans/whatever newspaper The Washington Blade. Like our past media/activism icons The Advocate and The Human Rights Campaign, The Blade's value is clearly waning, especially with what appears to be a regular commentary section by Jeff/Jim Gannon/Guckert/Whatever flathering about the warped illusions in his mind. That was the last nail in the coffin for me, as was the apologetic and generally bizarro article stating that "Tina is not such a bitch." I'll have to disagree: crystal meth is a bitch, and you can't be very accountable when you are addicted. Count your blessings that you could walk away from Tina, Mickey. A lot of people can't.

Anyhow, I get more value and timely news from blogs these days, and I don't need to be coaxed into reading a newspaper featuring polar, incendiary "writers" like Gannon/Guckert/Whatever and Weems. I'll stick with blogs and the far more coherent Metro Weekly, even though it's mainly entertainment news - at least its not outright incendiary and stupid. Good articles and entertainment reviews too. In fact the quality of MW has become really good the past couple of years, while the Blade has been rapidly going the way of my last bowel movement. The scant few Blade writers with cogent, concise and well-written articles like Peter Rosenstein, might spend their time more efficiently by posting their work in their own blogs.

The obscene 9/11 "Fredom Walk" and concert is this Sunday on the National Mall, but don't count on watching it if you aren't REGISTERED ONLINE BY 4:30PM TODAY (or should I say 1630 hours?). It is not easily accessible for the general public, and any clueless tourists accidentally wandering too close to the parade will be shot on sight by members of the U.S. Armed Forces (just kidding - this time). And they are not even trying to hide any fabricated link between 9/11 (the event) and Iraq either. Yet again we see the media censorship typical of this foul administration:

One restricted group will be the media, whose members will not be allowed to walk along the march route. Reporters and cameras are restricted to three enclosed areas along the route but are not permitted to walk alongside participants walking from the Pentagon, across the Memorial Bridge to the Mall.
While I realize most of the purchase orders for the event were probably in place before Katrina hit the Gulf Coast and the money already spent, couldn't we do something more valuable with all this security, personnel, pomp and prestidigitation? Because in addition to a steady supply of corpses from overseas, we are still finding corpses down south. I'm sure anyone marching would feel their time would be better spent helping others rather than helping shore up the current administration's propaganda.

Posted by jimbo at 9:58 AM | Comments (6)

September 8, 2005

get a load of cropp

I'm ending any image/marketing confusion for Linda Cropp's DC mayoral campaign right here with my suggested campaign logo, which avoids the uncomfortable use of her last name:
miss linda cropp
Seriously though, it should be an exciting race with Mr. Orange and Mr. Blackberry in the race with Mrs. Cropp, in the study with a lead pipe.

Yesterday Miss In Shaw alerted me to the presence of Girl Scout Thin Mints in the region, and promptly ordered a few for moi. My network of Girl Scout Cookie informants in The District and beyond grows...

This morning's Washington Post declared that The District of Columbia has the highest gas prices in the nation. However, I don't suspect conspiracy, rather the local station owners know that the people who paid outrageous prices for their homes are also more than willing to pay outrageous prices to feed their 2 cars that they brought in from the 'burbs.

Posted by jimbo at 11:17 AM | Comments (6)

September 7, 2005

now you've gone and made Celine cry

Celine Dion CrysYou know things are bad when Celine Dion is upset (scroll down on link for video).

Yesterday I started classes again. It seems I've already taken the interesting ones. Now for the classes that complete the degree.

Yesterday I saw a Metro employee clipping his fingernails on the subway. He didn't clean them up. Classy.

Will the coworker who bathed in perfume this morning please familiarize yourself with the 1.) spray; 2.) delay; 3.) away rule as seen on Queer Eye. It is not necessary to soak one's clothes in perfume before coming to work.

Olof MELLBERG Less Beckham, more Olof Mellberg, the woofy little Norwegian footballer.

That's all I have to say today.

Posted by jimbo at 10:04 AM | Comments (14)

September 6, 2005

my buh-bye plan

Last week proved one thing is certain in these uncertain times: the United States is not prepared for disaster, caused either by nature or terrorists. Somehow we are even less prepared than 4 years ago, despite the billions pumped into Homeland Security. FEMA is proven impotent in the immediate response category. Terrorists could have bombed the levees in Nawlins, achieving the same results: thousands of deaths, property damage, and a slow response from the clueless, tactless, careless President. And it is a Federal responsibility, and the rescue and recovery efforts were unnecessarily slow, regardless of what the apologists and contrarians insist. Immediate response is not rocket science, it is a matter of leadership. America is truly in trouble when I have the confidence to say I could have done it better, and/or we are more impressed by Harry Connick Jr's response. Immediately after rallying the troops for deployment several days after they were needed, Bush rallies his second most important trooper, Karl Rove, to protect his image and deflect blame and responsibility. Now that's priority! And Rehnquist isn't even buried and Bush is filling the position. That's classy.

Anyhow, in the event of a natural, radiological, incendiary or biological terror threat DC is pretty much fucked. Or to be more precise, I am fucked, because most evacuation plans are based on helping the middle-class and are generally auto-centric, and I don't have a car. Planes, buses, and trains will not be an option in times of emergency - they will be overloaded if they are running at all. There will be rioting and lawlessness, just like in Nawlins, especially close to my 'hood. I don't have a gun, I don't want one, I don't like using them, and the copper lightning rod I plan on using as a makeshift spear will be only so effective against looters. I am so outta here if disaster happens again here in DC, for if my friends with cars don't come through I am effectively stuck here. In the event of another terrorist attack or natural disaster in The District, here is my plan for the next three years should I not be able to mooch a ride out of here with a friend in a car West or South of here. Mom, take note because cell phones will be down, but not the Internet. I put it on the blog as an actual evacuation plan:

Posted by jimbo at 9:55 AM | Comments (11)

September 5, 2005

I had a Super Labor Day, thanks for asking!

Sunday night was a fun gaming session with the D&D gang, followed by some hardcore City of Heroes online gaming. I am thankful to be able to cozy up in my rental unit which features air conditioning, running hot and cold water, and electricty, with the added bonus of a DSL connection. I did not go to bed early enough for the painful 6am wake-up call for fishing at Harper's Ferry, on the Potomac where MD/VA/WV meet, less than an hour's drive from DC. We arrived so early to the park that I was worried no one was vacationing, for our car was one of a few in the lot. Later on things picked up a bit more.

Matt's my new fishing buddy, and we were both happy to get out on this beautiful weekend. We didn't catch much, but the smallmouth bass and panfish were very brightly colored. I guess the waters closer towards DC leaches the color out of them or something. I took a nap in the sun on a rock like a lizard. Matt does not have a cell phone, and practices the lost art of planning, which due to the advent of the mobile phone has gone the way of flint knapping, jousting and crimped hair.
Harper's Ferry
Harper's Ferry is a historic village on the Potomac which was the location of the famed John Brown Rebellion, among other notable historic events. Brown, charged for "conspiring with slaves to commit treason and murder," was tried, convicted, and hanged in Charles Town on December 2, 1859.

When the waters are clear and low you can raft, kayak or tube lazily down the warm river. I tried drifting down the river a few times today myself. I recommend an innertube or floating watercraft.
The C&O Canal and towpath bike trail extends all the way from DC to Harper's Ferry and beyond. There were a lot of people out on the trail, including these two guys, who smelled like they had just come from the tavern. We wondered if gas prices, or a DWI, had forced them to go on horseback.

Posted by jimbo at 7:07 PM | Comments (5)

September 4, 2005

pussy pork

While checking out at the Soviet Safeway today the phone rang at my checkout line, and the woman answers:

"Mumble mumble Safeway how can I help you? You lookin' for what? Pussy Pork? We don't have that here...oh, Mushu Pork? We don't have that here either."

I gathered my eyeballs off the conveyor belt and went on my way.

Yesterday me and Gurl and Jon and Burl went to see the Shakespeare Theatre production of Othello, featuring Avery Brooks in his reprise role as the main character. He appeared there before his performance as Captain Benjamin Sisko on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Oh no, another meme, this time from Eric. I'll tag no one but gladly reply the meme, 10 tracks I'm currently digging:

Heather Small - Proud
Scott Bolton - I Can See Clearly Now
Human League - Tell Me When
Cheryl Crow - Steve McQueen (remix)
Jennifer Lopez - Alive
Prince - She's Always In My Hair
The Family - Screams of Passion
Celene Dion - Love You More
DV Roxx - 'Hardcore MuthaFucka'
Linda Wertheimer - Looking for Leadership in a Storm (commentary)

Posted by jimbo at 3:00 PM | Comments (1)

September 2, 2005

meme from chrisafer

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1) Rule the Universe.
2) go to Antarctica to birdwatch
3) go to Hawaii
4) fulfill this one erotic fantasy I have about an exec in a suit and me under his desk
5) [an even kinkier fantasy I cannot share with you]
6) Own a house
7) Go to Spain

7 things I can do:
1) Make a special Tang/Celestial Seasonings drink - it's really good!
2) crack my toes
3) use my severed index finger as a deadly weapon or can opener
4) pee while erect (and in other situations too)
5) hike over a mountain
6) be friends with almost any dog
7) wrap my lips around a pint glass

7 things I cannot do:
1) sneeze quietly
2) tolerate bores
3) dance without looking like a total fag
4) work in a job that does not interest me
5) tackle very well (yet)
6) stand on the back of an anteater while it is bucking
7) walk behind slow people

7 things that attract me to the [opposite of my] opposite sex:
1) fur
2) facial hair
3) individuality
4) passion
5) communicativeness
6) self-honesty
7) pig-headedness (both a turn-on and frustration)

7 things that I say most often:
1) pucker
2) oi
3) grampaw jimbo (in 3rd person)
4) ohmigawd
5) gurl...
6) my ass
7) hemorrhoids

7 celebrity crushes:
1) me
2) Seann Scott (if he puts on some chunk)
3) Matt Lauer (when he's not interviewing)
4) Ewan MacGregor
5) Ed Harris
6) Sam Elliott
7) Jamie Bamber

7 people I want to do this:
1) They have all already been tagged by someone else.

Posted by jimbo at 1:46 PM | Comments (1)

monkey boy don't look so good these days

I'm thankful I don't have a car now. My 2002 Mazda Tribute was a gas hog back then. Today I simply wouldn't drive it if I had it, and I'm satisfied taking public transportation these days. And my heartfelt sympthies go out to all you SUV/Hummer/Tank owners. Oh, how you must be suffering today, 8' off the ground. Suckers.

I don't have much to say about the disaster, mayhem and tragedy in New Orleans and southern Mississippi. The human loss and suffering is tragic, our government reaction has been pathetic, and our simian leader has been far from exemplary. At least he's being consistent, and of course will never apologize for anything. I'm sure we'll get some faked insincere speech on television this weekend featuring his smug, smart-ass face that I'm long tired of seeing. 3 more years...I must be strong for 3 more years of this shit.

When the Mississippi River flooded in 1993 I was working as a park ranger for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in the Rock Island, Illinois/Quad Cities area. The USACE basically maintains waterways for commercial travel along the Intracoastal Waterways and the many lock and dam systems on rivers, and keeps military engineers employed and busy (sometimes too busy) during times of peace.

I worked in a visitor center above lock and dam #15, which was part of the system of locks on the Upper Mississippi that help maintain a 9' deep channel so barges could safely move grain, minerals and other things up and down the muddy river. It was not designed to prevent flooding, only to make the river consistently deep enough to allow commerce travel on the river. Most locks, dams and levee systems can only mitigate the threat of flooding, but no engineer can ever guarantee safeguarding an area against a 100-year flood or a hurricane of equivalent power.

When constant and auspiciously timed rains sent surges of water down the tributaries of the Mississippi and Des Moines rivers in '93, the convergence sent a swell of water down the river from La Crosse to St. Louis, onward to New Orleans. I was part of the recovery efforts for the Quad Cities and Des Moines areas affected by the flooding. I don't recall any casualties, and the worst that happened was downtown Moline flooding and the water supply for Des Moines was knocked out for a few weeks. The scale of that disaster was much smaller than what was happening in New Orleans. I can't say I understand why recovery efforts are taking so long down in New Orleans, aside from the possibility that the government has become a clusterfuck since 1993 and the USACE is less-funded since then too.

Oh, this just in...I'm guessing the public environmental impact hearing this month for levee improvements in New Orleans has been cancelled. That's OK, there was no funding for it anyway.

As for the comments made by the Krazy Konservative Kristians (KKK) regarding the divine retribution from God against New Orleans' banal debauchery and sheltering of gay parties, I have a feeling when Nawlins recovers they will barely spend a moment to concern themselves with such petty comments, if not a hearty "fuck you" in their direction. I'll have to concur. The fact that they are so focused on smiting others rather than helping out speaks volumes about such fanatics. They are not Christians, and real Christians need to start taking back their religion and their country from such voices, just like the moderate Muslims need to do with Islam. The hateful words could have come out of a wacked-out Mullah's mouth. I'm tired of worrying about what they say, about ex gays, and gays who help those who are out to get us. I'm going to focus on the good people who know me, good people who live healthy lives, and helping out rather than worrying about who's not helping me.

Posted by jimbo at 10:14 AM | Comments (5)

September 1, 2005

So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

Today is gay affirmation day:

I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

Sing it, sister. I just bought the latest Queer As Folk soundtrack (season 5?) and it is OFF THE HOOK! High energy dance songs with lyrics and divas singing in the background, not soul-less Tina music either. 'Proud' is sung by Heather Small, formerly of M People. Another great track on the CD is 'Hardcore MuthaFucka' by DV Roxx.

It's the last season for Queer as Folk on Showtime. I never watched it much, as I seem to appreciate the soundtracks more. And perhaps gays are disappearing from television, which means y'all need to get off your asses, out of the ghetto, and talk about your real lives with your families, coworkers and straight friends. Your face and voice are far more effective in making change than any HRC dinner or a character on the boob tube. For inspiration and affirmation, spend a good 10 minutes or more on jonathan francis cass' website.

Currently reading The One-Hour Activist, by Christopher Kush, for some review and ideas on how to make change. I'm kind of excited for the United For Peace rally, regardless of its outcome. It's empowering to get involved, and makes you feel good and less helpless to try to do something in a dark time where ignorance and fanatacism seem to rule.

Oh yeah, and I play on a somewhat-gay rugby team that has been fully integrated into the local mostly-straight union, whom we play regularly. One example of making change person-by-person can be illustrated with this story: many years ago the Quantico Marine base team could only bear to send a single emissary to our post-match socials. Last year the whole team and their families came. That's progress, made on a personal level. It takes time and is harder than clicking a mouse button or griping about something on a blog, but it looks like that's where the work needs to be done.

Posted by jimbo at 10:52 AM | Comments (5)