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August 31, 2005

summer beer makes me feel fine

Last night I met up with North Dallas Thirty who was in town for work. We went to The Big Hunt, and I discovered the yummiest beer you can find in DC - the Brooklyn Brewery Brooklyner Weisse wheat beer. I will not forget the taste. My eyes almost bugged out of my head it was so tasty. Anyway, the conversation was just as delicious.

School has started in DC, and there were youngsters about everywhere last night and today. A herd of sleek, shirtless university cross country teammates ran by as I waited for the shuttle this morning. It worked better than a pot of coffee, lemme tell ya.

No residual rain from the hurricane, but lots of humidity, wind and ominous clouds. It's been awful yucky humid here this week, I think the most humid I've ever felt here. Luckily it's not that hot, just sticky.

I was excited to learn that there will be a peace rally September 24-26. They are asking for volunteers to help out. I get bored quick during speeches, but I want to help out. I just hope it doesn't turn into a WTO-type "let's trash DC" sort of riot, which would be ironic. Hmm...what if I support the occupation of Afghanistan but not Iraq? Should I just go to half the rally?

Posted by jimbo at 10:16 AM | Comments (7)

August 28, 2005

west virginia weekend II

I got out to West Virginia again this weekend with friends, bulldogs and basset hounds. Most of the time I read and slept, and that was OK with me as time slows down on the farm. I got some fishing in too, but of course forgot to bring my digital camera when I caught the largest bass of my life, a 14" monster. However, the rest of the fish I caught were merely fingerlings, so it wasn't worth keeping the thing for food, and not worth killing it to show it off. Next time I'll bring the camera. Started some scruff for a return of the beard.
jimbo and petunia

On the drive back me and the hostess were talking and agreed that neither of us are "in love" with DC as a city. It is easy to love New York City, or West Virginia, or this nation, but DC is a tough city to love. DC is the difficult guy you are dating who is very handsome and has a really great career, but he never makes the right decisions, frequently forgets about you, and has a controlling, overbearing mother who keeps calling the shots for him.

festus and tucker

My apologies to the Giant PeaPod grocery delivery man who I ignored this morning. I half-remember hearing you pound on the door, call my phone, but I thought it was all a dream. It was interesting to find out that they can just leave it in cooler crates for you if you can't get your ass to the door on time. I heart Peapod.

Posted by jimbo at 9:47 PM | Comments (8)

August 26, 2005

"vile, violent, feces-eating Swedes"

OK, we know Fred Phelps is a total kook nutjob, be he now goes over the top by declaring that God Hates Swedes!

He is picking a fight with King Karl Gustaf of Sweden by planning a protest in Stockholm on Labor Day. The "vile, violent, feces-eating Swedes," as Phelps calls them, are quite upset with the accustations. I wonder if he's going to get his ass kicked once and for all. Heloooo, America and Kansas Christians...you have the most tactful emissary overseas these days.

You can call me a Fag and tell me I'm going to Hell and it'll slide offa me like buttah. I'll give him his freedom to bash queers, but Swedes? You don't pick on the Swedish Chef, ABBA, and Ace of Base. That's it, gloves down, I'm going in swinging.

Posted by jimbo at 11:55 AM | Comments (11)

August 25, 2005

five weeks without you and I still haven't gotten over you yet...

Despite my general level of loathing for It That Lives On Pennsylvania Avenue, I am all for any American who takes a five-week vacation - as long as said leader works to ensure that all the other Americans can do the same thing, which they currently can't working two jobs or minimum-wage poverty level jobs with no health insurance. Granted, his timing isn't quite as smooth as it could be, but everyone else is away from The District at this time of year too. The weather sucks in DC in August. I understand it when anyone leaves this time of year. It's just no fun to be here, even when you're the President.

I keep reading news articles that say "too much" and "too many" in reference to his vacation, and I can't help but wonder if a lot of Americans simply can't conceive of a month-plus vacation, which we all deserve. A month-plus vacation is not uncommon in Europe. We have a skewed view of vacations here in America as many of us are workaholics, especially in DC, the Type A ghetto of the nation. My boss can't even be away for a week without "checking in," and do any of you really think Bush hasn't been working during this time? His whole office is down there. Sounds fun.

(Side Note: he has also been photographed mountain biking many times, thus setting an example of an active lifestyle, which in turn may help curb the alarming rise of morbid obesity in this country. I.E. the President gets his ass off the couch, so should you.)

In the past year I've had the luxury and the expendable income to have taken several week-long trips, due to rapid accrual of vacation time by virtue of working in a university environment. Past contractor positions were not so generous with leave time. Consequently they suck, and I'm never going back to indentured servitude again. These days I can't use enough leave time, and I love it. I have found that I can't seem to enjoy a vacation if it's longer than a week, so I end up with plenty of time to take valuable and refreshing 'Jimbo Day' hooky days, which I also love to do. Everyone should take plenty of vacations and mental health days. You will be more productive when you are at work.

Anyway, it's a matter of perspective. I don't perceive the President's time away from the White House as excessive, and he isn't really away from his job or his work. HOWEVER, when most Americans can't take an equal time away from their own jobs (as they should be able to do) it is understandably a problem with a lot of Americans, which is why it ain't the best image for a President to have right now.

Speaking of vacations, I am off to a friend's farm this weekend for some fishing, fresh air, silence, stars, no news media, and drooly, sloppy, hyper BULLDOGS!

Posted by jimbo at 10:07 AM | Comments (4)

August 24, 2005

Christ was not a sniper

Yesterday I was kinda down from all the shit on the news about war, death, and the Krazy Konservative Kristians (KKK) like Pat Robertson. Then this morning I read that Venezuela had the balls to call out Robertson on his use of terrorist rhetoric in a calm, resonable manner, essentially saying that Robertson is no different than any Islamic fundamentalist kook. I don't recall reading that Christ was a sniper, and it made me giggle with glee to read that people are finally waking up to Robertson's hatefull bullshit. It's taken about 4 years now, but some segments of America are starting to actually think about this war, and I think the terror rhetoric spewing like raw sewage from the White House is beginning to lose its punch. Despite the upcoming obscene war-a-palooza concert on Labor Day that will all but link Iraq with 9/11. 70 American soldiers died this month alone, and Bush has the audacity to say that we would dishonor those who have already died by pulling out of Iraq. What kind of voodoo/pagan bullshit is that? Our Ancestor Sprits will be angry with us if we pull out of a senseless war? We have to stay there because people died there? It makes no sense, and I hope America doesn't buy it, but sadly many will, and continue to equate war and killing with patriotism. Those that oppose it for any reason are un-American. Whatever. I am for pulling out on a well-planned schedule, but not all at once, which would be irresponsible and would create more chaos than we did by ourselves.

There is irony here seeing Bush celebrate an imagined linkage between 9/11 and Iraq, when the number of American soldier fatalities approaches the number of those who died at the Pentagon, Twin Towers and in a field in PA. Both sets of deaths were seneselss.

Posted by jimbo at 11:18 AM | Comments (10)

August 23, 2005

GynoForce

Psister Shade invites all angry female superheroes to join GynoForce!
Psister Shade welcomes all angry women to join GynoForce!!!

Posted by jimbo at 1:05 AM | Comments (2)

August 22, 2005

male camel toe

I was out of control this weekend, languidly absorbing all the cold pumped out of my new air conditioner. Took the bastards a week to get it to me though. I had intended to go out to the D.C. Eagle this Saturday, but two pieces of lasagne and two glasses of wine at a friend's house hit me with a one-two punch and I was in bed by 11:30. Sunday brunch with the gurls, some City of Heroes during the heat of mid-day, then off for a bike ride up the C & O Canal Towpath bike trail along the Potomac. It was a good day for butterflies, and I saw a catfish and a bass in the clear, low water.

I love my biking tights, except I feel odd in them, even though I can change clothes and get nekkid in front of my teammates and their gurl/girlfriends after a match or practice, I feel wierd with my sack bulging out in public in bike tights. Does one tuck the scrotum and penis downward, or have them pointing up? Any way you tuck it in bike tights, you get a bad case of male camel toe. Is it OK to go into say, Starbucks, and order a passionfruit tea with my package all out and obvious? It's not that I have an erection or am remarkably huge, it just feels huge when I'm in these tights, and I feel self-conscious in them.

Hmmm...I'm not too pleased with being on Bigmuscle and Bigmusclebears.com lately. Membership on these sites these days seem like a frivolous expense, and I think I'm not going to renew my membership when it comes up. Plus I could use the extra cash. In a lot of cases, it seems like some sort of show and tell but don't touch thing, while on others I am perplexed by profiles that say, "I have a monogamous relationship and am in love with my partner..." and yet he's showing his weiner and puckering rectum for all to see. And in other cases some guys are using their profiles as a sort of blog. I have a blog, and don't need to pay for it (so far) to have one or to read other blog/profile pages. And then there's the whole confusing ettiquette for the 'I Like' favor system. Someone will correspond with you and seem interested in at least chatting with you, and yet not 'I Like' you. I don't get that either. I'm on those sites to hook up, not read someone's journal or learn about his wonderful monogamous relationship. Anyway, the returns from those sites have not justified the expense or time spent on the site, so when my membership dues come up again, I'm outta there. I'll stick with meeting people in person from here on out.

Posted by jimbo at 10:08 AM | Comments (25)

August 20, 2005

Minor League Team To Host 'Hairiest Back' Contest

WOODBRIDGE, Va. -- The Potomac Nationals of the Carolina League are ready to let the fur fly later this month.

The Class-A affiliate of the Washington Nationals will hold its first-ever "Hairiest Back at the Ballpark" contest before their game against a team from Salem, Va., on Aug. 25.

According to the team's press release, the winner will receive a complimentary laser hair removal service valued at $2,500.

In addition, there will be a drawing for a complimentary laser removal service worth $1,200 for those fans who do not want to participate in the contest.

Posted by jimbo at 4:27 PM | Comments (4)

August 19, 2005

African Lions in South Dakota?

Stampy, Bart Simpson's pet elephantMore animal news - a group of scientists have proposed the reintroduction of large mammals such as elephants, lions, cheetahs and wild horses to North America to replace populations lost 13,000 years ago.

Well, first off, relax, it's just a proposal, nothing more than an idea on paper. Second, the creatures would be in enclosed parks. However, considering the problem ranchers are having with bison and wolves out west, consider the additional worry of having a pride of hungry lions or a family group of elephants coming in to stomp on your watermelon patch. Then again, that might be kinda cool.

jimbo's pet oliphantWhile I'm all for the genetic re-engineering that could hail the return of the mastodon, this crazy-ass proposal only makes preservationists and environmentalists look like nutbags. The ultra-conservative conservationist notion that we can return the entire continent to a state similar to the Pleistocene age is absurd. It's not a radical idea, it's conservative, and it kind of insinuates that things were 'pure' before humans arrived and that we are somehow a force of corruption outside the goings-on of nature. Humans arrived like any other species via migration, got their flint-tipped spear on, and ate some giant ground sloth, giant beaver, and some pachyderms for good measure. And they got their asses eaten by some saber-toothed tiger in the process too, but they did not corrupt the Pleistocene as the proposal implies, where we should 'restore' our continent to pre-Unklok the Caveman conditions.

Plus, the assumption that Africa can't handle their own conservation efforts is a little arrogant too. They certainly could use the tourist dollars developing more conservation parks down there. Plus we have our own resident wildlife populations to protect. Let's work on keeping the condors, terrapins, paddlefish and karner's blue butterfly populations stable first. And as usual, these scientists should have spoken to a communications/marketing person before they released the proposal...it would have lessened the freak out factor a bit, doing less damage to the preservation movement in the process.

Check out this and these amazing photos of the tornado damage done to Stoughton, Wisconsin last night. Stoughton is near Madison, and yes, we have tornadoes in Wisconsin - quite a lot of them in fact. In other Wisconsin news, there are alarming numbers of guys on the team from Wisconsin. But most of them are from Madison (the cool, hip college town in the state) and I went to school in Stevens Point, so they probably think I'm a potato-eating, Point Beer drinking hick.

Posted by jimbo at 11:16 AM | Comments (6)

August 18, 2005

grizzly man

I suppose you are going to read reviews for the documentary Grizzly Man on some bear's blog, but maybe not, because the central character looks more like Carson Kressley than Dan Haggerty. He acted a lot like Carson too, which may help understand why he had to identify with a society far removed from humankind.

The cautionary tale of Timothy Treadwell's adventures in the Katmai National Park and Preserve in Alaska ends in gruesome tragedy in October 2002. The guy wanted to "be one with the bears" and got his wish. While most of Treadwell's adventures are recorded on film, the attack on he and his girlfriend were only in audio, disturbingly interpreted in a creepy monologue by the coroner and the shaken documentarian.

In Treadwell's "study" (he held no wildlife or biology degree) of the bears I saw the typical pitfall of antropomorphism often seen in passionate animal welfare workers, zoo employees, and doomed environmentalists - the ego-driven belief that we are somehow "one with nature" and that we can form some kind of connection with creatures we barely understand. In the end that belief was his mistake, as he tried to do the whole Jane Goodall/Dian Fossey bit with the ursines. With other primates a few branches over that might work, but he was a bit too far over in another branch of the evolutionary tree to really have a clue. The presence of psychiatry and psychology in our society is proof that we do not understand each other or ourselves sufficiently, and it's arrogant to believe we can ever truly understand another species. I don't even understand the bears that go out to Titan every Friday.

Even the name of the organization that supported Treadwell's work, "Grizzly People", reeks with anthropomorphism and romanticisim of wild animals. While he did do a lot of valuable education on behavior and he shared the plight of the brown bear with many people, much of what he was doing in the wild was reckless and did more to damage the Katmai bear population than poachers. In most of the scenes where he was close to either the bears or a nearby fox population, the animal's snouts were always zeroing in on his hands. While we never saw him feeding the creatures, one must wonder why these supposedly wild animals knew that hands sometimes hold food. And when a bear associates food with the smell of humans, trouble begins.

As the son of a man who most likely died a cold, watery death in the wild, I grew up with the basic awareness that nature does not have a sense of morality, it just is. Most animals share the same view as the elements - they don't care, they don't hate or love you, they are just hungry and have to eat or else they will die. In the case of the hungry 25 year-old grizzly that ate both Treadwell and his girlfriend, winter was coming fast and he was not fat enough for hibernation, and Treadwell was the closest thing with meat on his bones. Sadly, the bear was shot, percieved as a danger to other humans, which went against what Treadwell was working for in the first place. It is this lack of understanding of what wilderness truly is that is one of the most tragic killers of the outdoor world. Ultimately, lack of true understanding of wild things is lack of respect.

Posted by jimbo at 11:18 AM | Comments (6)

August 17, 2005

today's affirmations

On Global Domination:

There is no room for negativity in my eventual global domination. - bradford

On Being An Individual:

Yesterday I burnt my gay-bear card. I shaved every hair from my body. Head, beard, pits,... everything. Everything. And with that I feel so much better. I feel like I'm finally out of costume and that feels incredible. I'll grow it back when I feel like it, but not a second sooner. - jackal

On Emergent Technology:

Suck my crusty venereal infected clit you reality flop colorectal mother fucker! What the pussywillow is the purpose of the music if you can't fracking listen to it either on your computer, iPod, or in your automobile? - schitzo

Words to live by, all.

Posted by jimbo at 4:36 PM | Comments (5)

August 16, 2005

hazzardous viewing

"Jimbo, be sure to lower your expectations for this one."

I shouldn't have needed the reminder from my buddy Shane as we approached the theater to go see 'The Dukes of Hazzard,' but I was still shocked at how bad it was. They lost me on the opening scene, where for some reason they needed to use FAKE SCRUFF on Seann William Scott's face. Apparently he had some smooth twink emaciated John Basedow crystal meth-look photoshoot that day and/or the film crew couldn't wait for him to grow out his scruff in 2 days. It looked REALLY bad, like mud or poop spread out on his face. And believe me, I was looking closely at it, and I know these things. I'm watching all of y'all's scruff, all the time. Your scruff is under my excruciating scrutiny.

None of the actors could handle a Southern accent, even Jessica Simpson, who is originally from Texas. At some moments you could even hear Seann William Scott's MINNESOTA* accent through the weak attempts at sounding like a redneck. It just didn't work, and was occasionally painful to watch. However, Johnny Knoxville continues to grow on me, and has now eclipsed SWS in hotness. He was one of the few fairly decent actors in the film, actually.

The sets were cheap. I guess they spent most of their money destroying Chargers during the filming. Anyhow, this movie is not even worth renting through the mail via NetFlicks. Wait until you are channel-flipping and there's nothing else on and you're totally bored.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADONNA!!! OH MY GAWD SHE IS SOOO FABULOUS AT 47!!! I just had to say that.

*Seann Scott, who played Bo Duke in the film, is from Cottage Grove, Minnesota - about as Northern as you can get and 2 hours' drive from where I grew up. The original Luke Duke was played by Tom Wopat of Lodi, Wisconsin, a mere hour south of my hometown. Both Northern Americans were ironically chosen to play Georgia redneck icons.

Posted by jimbo at 10:25 AM | Comments (10)

August 15, 2005

smoogy-poogums a boo-boo I wuv ooo!

I'm not pointing fingers at any one person in our D&D group that's guilty of this (there are several), but when a person's significant other just cannot bear to not hear his/her partner's voice for more than two hours at a time, the rest of us have come to a fun and creative solution for such interruptions. When a cell phone rings during the middle of play, and it's a person's partner who has to whisper sweet nothings or ask vital questions like what's for dinner, the rest of us speak up in a loud chorus saying: "SMOOGIE POOGUMS OOOKIE BOO-BOO!!! I WUV OOOOO!!! OOODJIE BOO BOO SMOOKUMS POOGUMS 'mwa!' 'mwa!' HUGGINS LUVVEY DUVVEY MOOKINS A BOO BOO!!!"

And so on. If the callers can even hear each other on the line, it is hoped that the cacophony will end the call quickly. Except last night it was the person's coworker who called. Oh well.

In other geek action, Gurl like was trying to walk and talk at the same time and tripped on the miniatures case and kobold and dire rat and gnoll miniatures went FLYING all over the house. Thank god none of them were being prepped for judging at the next gaming convention!

Posted by jimbo at 1:00 PM | Comments (2)

August 13, 2005

jimbo vs. the spider queen

Jimbo vs. Shelob, the Spider Queen
No air conditioning this weekend on one of the hottest weekends of the year, so I resign to sweating as I vacuum up all the spiders in every corner of my place. They are of every species imaginable, even preying on each other. Every corner has a critter in this basement. I was debating whether to vacuum them up or not as they do keep the flying critter population down, but decided against that as I'm sure I won't be completely thorough and some will survive.

They finally had my shadow box ready at the framing gallery. I've been on a framing kick lately, and finally got around to getting to this plate that was in my grandmother's china cabinet. After she passed away last summer, it was the only thing I could think that I wanted, aside from the lightning rod and ceramic ball that came off the top of her house. The plate must have been some kind of promotional item to commemorate the opening of an old schoolhouse, as the print on the plate says, "Compliments of J.A. Berg. Public School, Holmen, Wis." Berg was my mother's maiden name, but I'm not sure if I'm related to J.A. Berg or not. When I first saw it after it was framed, I said to the guy at the store, "This turned out really gay." It's probably the gayest thing I own now, due to the frame style. Hard to see that it's in a box from this picture:
shadow box

Not a whole lot of woofers this year from baseball season, but football season is just around the corner. Hard to believe Brett Favre is still in action, but that just promises more scruffy desktop wallpaper images for the year:
BrettFavreGreenBay.jpg
Photograph by Rick Chapman Photography. More of Brett in this gallery on his site.

Posted by jimbo at 12:50 PM | Comments (4)

August 12, 2005

dead air conditioners

Last night the cooling unit in my window air conditioner died one one of the hottest evenings/weekends ever. Joy. Thankfully, it had died after the sun set so the place was moderately cool, and remained so due to a relatively low humidity.

Sadly, it did not rise in the evening as one of the legion of the dead. It stayed dead.

I went to rugby practice last night for the first time this season and did pretty well. While my sprinting muscles are wimpy, I am glad I have been running over the summer. We have a lot of new players, and a lot of people from last year have not shown up, or at least that's what it looks like. It was very hot and I sweat a lot and drank three glasses of ice water at the bar, but stopped short of another pint as I don't want to end up like this DC cop.

Later on in the virtual world I met up with Sean's virtual goth character on City of Heroes. But he switched to a character closer in level to my Celtic tanker, and went on some patrols and kicked Troll butt. I hear tell there will be a Celtic add-on to the game soon, where my character's Versace pants will then fit in with the adventuring area.

My friend Gurl has been busy this week on the Internets. She found the glitteriest Bigmuscle profile ever (scroll down), replete with butterflies and glitter! And she also found the longest web page in the world (scroll left-right).

Posted by jimbo at 10:50 AM | Comments (5)

August 11, 2005

man dies from video game-related exhaustion

Korean man dies from exhaustion after 50-hour video game marathon. That's probably how I'm going to die too.

Yee-Haw! Nickel Creek will be playing at the 9:30 Club on October 9th. I've liked them for a while now. I will be going, with or without you.

The bad thing about associating a certain musical group, song, or album with a person with whom you've had a relationship with, is that if things go poorly with the person the emotions regarding that person also transfer to the song or group. This is why life soundtracks are bad. I'm currently having a bittersweet relationship with Nickel Creek. I only just patched things up with Chris Isaak, and that was from a breakup 8 years ago. I still hate Cher, especially when she sings that "Believe" song. Oh yeah, and that bitch Enrique Iglesias, that nasty drama queen. Hate Her.

I have had quite the delayed jonesing effect for the Hunky Leprechaun lately. They day we parted I was very dry-eyed, and a bit worried about that. But my old reliable delay effect from disasters kicked in a few weeks later. Even after 9/11 I didn't freak out until about 3 or 4 days later. In this case it was 2 weeks, where I find myself lately thinking phantom thoughts like "Oh, he would like this," or "We should do this together," and I am having a strong need to hold him again. Then I have to check myself that I won't and we aren't. It is good that rugby has started up again, where I'll have 15-30 surrogate boyfriends at the same time.

In accordance with writing about my butt all week, I want to share that I'm happy to have discovered an ad for this place in this morning's Metro Express. I've made an appointment for a consultation. I spoke too soon about not having a problem this year. Then it got hot and things got uncomfortable.

Last night I met up with Miss In Shaw at ETETE Ethiopian Cuisine at 9th and U for an In Shaw / U Street blogger summit. The tibs were a little overtoasted, but the chat was good.

Note to coworkers: my closed door is not some kind of unspoken message that I am lonely. I do not pine for your company. Closed door means closed door - and that I might possibly be working on something, say, the newsletter for our department that was due last March? One slip up and it'll have a typo, misaligned header, or other fuckup because you had to stop my my open door and scream down the hall. Go. Away. I am working.

Posted by jimbo at 11:17 AM | Comments (11)

August 10, 2005

The dreams continue...of many last night one that stood out was of one of my rugby teammates Matt emergency landing a small U.S. Airways cargo jet into the playground behind my former middle school. I then invite him to the Taste of India food festival within the school (my school never had any Indian students in it), after which we go to the bathouse in the basement of the school and have a nice time. Interpret that.

Is it just me or have I been waking up to the news of more troops being blown up every morning? We are approaching 2,000 troop deaths for a war that had no good reason to start, or at least we (the American public) still don't know the reason why we started it. Afghanistan I support, but Iraq no, for no coherent reason was or has been given as of yet.

If the core meaning of being a Conservative is to preserve current ways of life, the mission of revitalizing our traditional hometown American Legion Halls with brand new limbless members via conjured wars isn't the best plan. I'm guessing there are other institutions and businesses being kept alive by this war as well. If Conservativsm seeks to maintain such machines of war, then I certainly am not Conservative.

Posted by jimbo at 9:39 AM | Comments (7)

August 9, 2005

3 is a Magic Number

At home again sick today. I went to work yesterday, and while I got a lot done, I was lethargic, grumpy, and had no appetite. I may have to bail on one or more of my agenda items tonight.

I had more dreams last night. I had dreams all weekend, and could hear songs while I was sleeping. "3 is a Magic Number" from Schoolhouse Rock as performed by Blind Melon, some Seal song, and some diva song is all I can remember. They have been the 3 soundtrack songs going on in my mind since the weekend. Make It Stop.

Is it the light fever or something I'm stressed out about? In an early morning dream me and a coworker were invited to some hospitable and friendly fat Italian dude's restraunt trip with his family. After we were seated and had ordered, me and the coworker left to go look at the ducks from a suspension bridge high over the clear bay water. Ducks were migrating on the water, and when I stopped to look at the sea otter eating urchins in the water, I missed the entree at dinner with the fat Italian. Interpret that.

Posted by jimbo at 1:13 PM | Comments (3)

August 8, 2005

I'm just squirting with enthusiasm today

I did not do much this weekend due to an all-body achey poopy-spew-flu that required I be close to both a bed and a toilet, for different reasons. My figure is now just one degree closer to fabulous from the experience. I'm still pretty tired today, but able to be at work at least. I want soup.

I did manage to go see Fantastic Four with Gurl and the Gang. It wasn't as bad as everyone said it would be. Chris evans was either grinning hotly or hotly shirtless throughout much of the film, Jessica Alba wasn't that bad of an actress, and Michael Chiklis was dead-on as Ben Grimm. I was especially impressed with Chiklis' performance. The effects were fun, but Dr. Doom's character was fucked up and wrong. Doom is merely pure evil genius encased in armor plating, not a metallic mutant able to control electricity. The problem was that an entire kindgergarten class was invited to the matinee we attended, children who had to discuss every scene loudly. At Gallery Place, I am sticking with weeknights on non-opening weeks. No more weekends there, no more opening day/night/weekend shows. It's just too ghetto there.

Speaking of evil genius, this Tuesday at DC9 at 9pm is The Mesmers, featuring Fitz. This Sunday is Brickfest 2005 at George Mason University in Arlington, featuring Legos.

Posted by jimbo at 9:36 AM | Comments (1)

August 6, 2005

dumb texans, dead dudes, darkness, dreams and drug busts

Yet another Texas intrusion into the District of Columbia: another Republican fucker from that fucking cunt-spawning state wants to rename the District of Columbia's 16th Street after Ronald Reagan. We already have an airport, a metro station, and a federal government building named after him. Reagan is not from DC, we never voted for him either. Do not rename one of the major arteries of this city after that person. I do not like it when Texans tell us what to do, either. I have lived on either side of this street, and renaming it would make navigation and street nomenclature patterns inconsistent, and most of all downright stupid. We had a plan from the man on this system, and it works well. And please let that dead man rest in peace and stop worshipping him.

This morning on NPR I finally heard news about the iron coffin they unearthed in Columbia Heights (D.C.) a while back. The rare 19th century artifact was unearthed and later cleaned up by experts from the Smithsonian. Turns out the iron coffin housed a 13 year-old boy who probably died of pneumonia, as evidenced by evidence found on the well-preserved lungs.

marker at Stanley ParkDo you know what light pollution is? It's when massive amounts of suburban or urban light sources block out the stars at night. It's an accepted reality for me in the city, but I always appreciate seeing stars out in West Virginia. Interesting article about it in today's Washington Post. Unless you live in the city, in most suburban cases the outdoor farm light is merely a security light to assuage unrealistic fears of prowlers.

Last week when I was in Vancouver's beautiful Stanley Park, I walked past a sunny glade with a shed at the opposite end, edged by dense conifers, crisscrossed with power lines, with a rugby pitch on it. I immediately recognized it, for I dreamed about this place over a year ago in my sleep. I took a picture of the place. I don't know what this means, but I'll take it as a good sign, and perhaps as encouragement. I have dreamed about things and people before that have shown up later on in time in my awakened state.

Vancouver pot bust victim Marc Emery will not be turned over to U.S. authorities, according to his lawyers. The raid, orchestrated by U.S. law enforcement officials, ocurred when I was in Vancouver. I haven't seen much about it in the U.S. news sources (Surprise!!!), but think it's a little slimy for us to be extending our laws and paranoias over the border, especially to the north. Oh, wait, we do this kind of shit all the time.

I'm not a pot smoker, but I have yet to meet an offensive or threatening pothead or stoned person. Boring as hell when they yammer away, yes, but not threatening. I don't believe people should go to jail over potsmoking. It's a waste of time, money and human life. Our anti-drug efforts are better spent on the harsher drug problems like heroin and crystal meth trade and use.

Posted by jimbo at 9:50 AM | Comments (3)

August 5, 2005

it's nearly over between me and Seann William Scott

O.K. Sean, I'm not liking your new Auschwitz Pimp look these days. It was bad enough that you insisted on shaving your chest and becoming as ripped as that John Basedow freak (Didn't he die in the tsunami?). Throw away the body clipper and immediately proceed to the deli for a sandwitch - or three. I'm starting to look over your shoulder at that bad boy Johnny Knoxville instead.

Thanks to my at least 5 informants who sent me pictures, hearsay, stories, and related detailed news items on SWS' new (unapproved) look. You guys were like on the ball as if I had my own Reuters news team trained specifically to send me SWS pics and info! Nice work. I will not, however, post the pictures you sent because his new look is scary.

Posted by jimbo at 3:34 PM | Comments (6)

August 4, 2005

paranoid thursday ramblings

As mentioned in Beaverhausen and Blogactive, Tylenol P.M. is the latest threat to right-wing extremists in this country. The connection of course is that Tylenol P.M. has print ads in The Advocate (Yes, I know. Who cares about The Advocate?) and at various gay pride celebrations.

I remember they were handing out samples at the now hypercommercialized DC Pride Festival both last year and this year. It kind of creeped me out though, as the question I have to keep asking is why Tylenol P.M. is marketed so heavily to The Gay? Are we a demographic known for having sleep disorders or difficulties falling asleep? Or are they really targeting the crystal meth using crowd who can't get their hands on Ambien when caught buzzing too hard on a Sunday night when work calls on Monday? I'd be interested to know why we are such a target for that product marketing team.

And then there's all this intelligent design crap. First off, no one's eyes are getting glazed over by the new marketing name for what amounts to a creation curriculum. Just call it creation and let's be done with it. I'm all for teaching creation stories, myths and theories in public schools as long as everybody's creation stories are taught as well, including mine. Yanomamo, Aztec, Celtic, Hohokham, Yaruba, the works. If you can't do that, keep the teaching of creation stories and myths in Sunday (or whatever) school. I don't recall being taught anything about Darwin's Theory of Evolution in public school until I took introductory biology in undergrad school. The entire controversy seemed to have driven out the teaching of scientific theories out of my secular public grade school curriculum. That's bullshit. I did, however, get a fine education on the creation of the world and man by the hand of God in Sunday school, and that was fine with me. I like creation stories, I think they're cool, but they should be kept out of public schools and left to the individual religious institutions that believe in them.

Posted by jimbo at 10:26 AM | Comments (3)

August 2, 2005

I never got to see Celene Dion

Monday's tour to a salmon fish hatchery, suspension bridge and mountain top was fun. At one point the tour guide asked, "What is Canada's biggest export?" To which I could not resist replying, "Celene Dion!" He kind of snarled after that. I discovered Canadians don't like talking about her.

We even passed through Las Vegas, and left feeling rather unclean. I did not see Celene Dion there either, and I was looking. I did however earn $15 in the slots at the airport. Gurl and I both decided Las Vegas airport is sleazy, and we were both happy to take showers upon arriving home.

Other memorable things from the trip:

Despite my best intentions, I did not get oot and aboot today due to jet lag and not having gotten any sleep on the red-eye flights. I hope to get to bed at a decent hour tonight, however. Here are some pictures from the trip, including a cute bagpiper, Edina Moonsoon, and some hot lumberjacks from the lumberjack show on Monday's mountaintop trip.

Posted by jimbo at 10:13 PM | Comments (3)