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July 12, 2005
"seed me."
Sometimes I'll leave obnoxious messages on Gurl's work phone, and I always hope that he'll have his speaker phone on in the office when he checks the message:
"Hey you giant nelly pig bottom, this is Jimbo. After you are done being seeded, give me a call, OK? Later Gurl."
Here at jimbo.info we in no way advocate unprotected sex. But Gurl and I totally love the euphemisms and metaphors The Gay make up when describing unsafe sex. Many of them are quite clever. Let's make a list, shall we? First, we have to write down all the synonyms for the noun 'semen':
semen; sperm; cum; load; DNA; seed; pud; jizz; jism; juice; spunk; issue; ejaculate; paste; ball-bearing oil; beef gravy; cocoa butter; comings; cream; dick drink; doll spit; dolly; face cream; french dressing; fruit juice; gism; goo; hot lead; hot milk; jelly; joy juice; liquid hair dressing; love juice; mahu-pol; man-juice; man oil; maria; mayonnaise; meco en tu boca!; mecotero; milk; milky load; oyster; pearl; pearl drop; protein; rice pudding; rich cream sauce; royal jelly; queen bees; sauce; scum; seeds; snake venom; snow storm; soul sauce; spunk; starch; sticky; turnip seeds; vitamins; wad; whore's milk
And then the verbs or phrases that help explain the act of depositing semen in one's rectal cavity ("breed me" another favorite):
seed me; take my load; fill my gut; take my cum; breed me; squirt
Hmm...I'm sure there are more phrases and verbs for the act of depositing semen the above list seems so limited! Please add your Two Cents! Thanks to Homer and Chrisafer for helping compile these lists and conducting field studies.
Posted by jimbo at July 12, 2005 11:31 AM
Comments
I have actually heard of the term "Impregnate me" being used.
Technically a correct use of the term, since one of the definitions of the word means "to be filled or saturated/ infused by a foreign substance"
Posted by: Dax at July 12, 2005 9:55 AM
"Toma mi leche."
Calling semen "milk" always seems so unintentionally wholesome to me.
Posted by: Eric at July 12, 2005 11:27 AM
Would that be 2% or 1% semen?
And Toma mi leche sounds like "Gimme back my glass of milk". I prefer "Lleneme con leche" and for good measure you can throw in a "mi papichulo".
Posted by: Chris at July 12, 2005 12:08 PM
Thanks to the poor state of English competence in this country, I have seen many online profiles in which guys explain that they want to "bread" a hot bottom. Dahmer tops?
Posted by: John at July 12, 2005 1:33 PM
Hey, those guys may in fact be bread fetishists. I saw a guy's profile on BMB with him in compromising positions with loaves and French bread twists. I am not kidding.
Posted by: jimbo at July 12, 2005 2:18 PM
SURELY y'all must remember my FAMOUS post on JMG about "breading" and "barebaking".
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2004/08/hey-dud.html
Wow, that was almost a year ago.
Posted by: Joe.My.God. at July 12, 2005 3:58 PM
My god all this barebacking and cum talk has just made me moist.
Posted by: chad at July 12, 2005 7:08 PM
Sure....list all those words so that the search engines will direct more unsuspecting straight people to your little island in the blogosphere.
Why didn't I think of that?
Posted by: Greg at July 12, 2005 7:21 PM
"Bread" a hot bottom? So much for the low-carb craze. But which works better in that case: flour, or breadcrumbs? And do you dip your hot bottom in egg first to ensure more of the breading sticks?
But anyway, you asked for other names for semen. I've heard the phrase "purple-headed yogurt thrower" used before, so--yogurt.
Posted by: Jeffrey at July 12, 2005 11:02 PM
"Bread me. Yeah. I like a nice light beer batter, with crumbs. Yeeeeaaah, thaaat's it - coat that loaf with breadcrumb. Awww yeaaaah...."
Posted by: jimbo at July 13, 2005 12:14 AM
If you are going to "bread me" I prefer whole wheat please. Or is I'm real crazy, an everything bagel.
Posted by: homer at July 13, 2005 12:41 AM
Gosh, what about the poor bread fetishists with allergies to gluten? What do they do with themselves?
Posted by: jimbo at July 13, 2005 10:25 AM
Rice flour, perhaps?
Posted by: Jeffrey at July 13, 2005 11:04 AM
I was going to suggest "Baby Batter" as a euphemism, especially now that you all got into this bread talk...and for some reason, I'm craving waffles for lunch...
Posted by: Casey at July 13, 2005 2:26 PM
You forgot my personal favorites, Jimbo: man grits and cream of meat.
Posted by: Geoffrey at July 13, 2005 4:01 PM
Isnt there a website called Boybatter???? mmmmmmmmmm boybatter..........arrghhheh
Posted by: GURL at July 13, 2005 4:13 PM
I just used jism, pud, man juice, and baby batter in a short story about coming out. Thanks for this wonderful lexicon. I'll give you due credit if it gets published.
Posted by: Greg at July 14, 2005 12:12 PM