« I fisheries biologists | Main | spice girls shelved »

May 31, 2005

I love my affected, gay scene, drama-ridden friends

What I mean by that is that every time I see some online profile that says, "no fems, masc only, no affected behavior, non-scene, no drama," in some guy's online profile I just want to flame out and sing show tunes and just be totally flamey and gay and make drama in their presence just to piss them off. Or maybe I should just put on my profile: "Bored With: anti-scene, stoic, affected masculine, issue-ridden, bad tops in truck driver drag."

Because you know the queeny ones are the best tops, don't you? It's true, fyi.

Some of my cherished and lovely femmy, in-scene, drama-ridden, affected gay friends came over to to help me unpack last night. Gurl and I had already polished off one bottle of fine Arizona wine when Chrisafer and Bubbles showed up. When the first bottle wore off and I began to feel my achey back again, they were ordered to fetch more, including a 40 oz. of Schlitz Malt Likka, which was downed as well. Unpacking is a lot more fun when you're drunk, but today my entire body feels like my back, and I can't find anything.

Anyway, I am somewhat settled in my new place, and met the bright shiny tenants upstairs, including a cute Jewishy looking guy named Josh or Johnathan. The movers were great, and I'm never moving without movers again. Well, except for the burly bitchy Scottish guy who had to comment on the quality of my furniture. It's cheap crap, I know! I have this cute little bizarre modular dishwasher that you have to wheel over to the sink to plug in, but it works well. And I have an OVEN! I am making MUFFINS and APPLE PIE and TOLL HOUSE COOKIES this weekend to make up for 3 years of par-boiling and frying everything.

Interesting story of a raccoon-related death in Fairfax from rabies. Dying from rabies is quite gruesome. Please go to the ER immediately after being bitten by any sketchy creature.

Cute pic from our last rugby tourney of the season. I like the feel of that picture. One of action jimbo too.

Posted by jimbo at May 31, 2005 10:53 AM


The queeny ones try harder, the butch ones expect you to genuflect in their presence, as if somehow the magic of their swizzle stick makes for automatic orgasms. Non-scene usually = closeted, Republican who hates out gay men, enjoys self flagellation and walks in the park on his knees.

Did the store follow the new city rules that say you must purchase them as a twosome? In my neck of the 'hood, we have some "special" customers, so all our 40s are gay boy adored types like Smirnoff Ice, Corona, and the like.

Posted by: copperred at May 31, 2005 12:21 PM

I think people that put so many restictions in their profiles do realize that they are begging for people to fuck with them........eventually. Maybe I just hope they realize that, for their sake.

Of the guys I have met up with that do the whole no fems/whatever in their profiles, most of them were strange freaks of nature. In the sense that, they were unnaturally masculine, and their every move seemed a bit choreographed. All in all, they have been extremely boring people, and very scary in bed. One asked me to impregnate him mid-fuck; thankfully, we agreed an abortion was the best choice.

Posted by: Kevin at May 31, 2005 2:15 PM

What kinda Arizona wine? I haven't had any although their are vinyards down at Patagonia.

Posted by: homer at May 31, 2005 6:30 PM

Can I borrow that line for MY profile? *ggle*

Posted by: moby at May 31, 2005 8:43 PM

The flamers are also more polite, honest and fun to be around. The butch types are so friggin obsessed with their macho stance that they've mostly forgotten how to have fun. Constantly having to check that pole is rammed up yer ass and make sure there are no queens within a 2 mile radius must get pretty tiring.


Posted by: Steve at June 1, 2005 6:07 AM

Ohhhhh, I too become extra-queeny when I meet guys who are too butch for themselves. I'm glad someone else does it.

Posted by: tim at June 1, 2005 9:25 AM