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May 3, 2005

albino college park residents

If I ever write a script for a David Lynch type film, it will surely be entitled "College Park," and will feature plenty of albino human actors, or actors in albino makeup. I swear to you I see at least one albino person (Melanin-challenged?) going to or from work every single day. African-American albinos, Asian albinos, Caucasian albinos. I'm expecting to see a Jewish and an Eritrean albino any day now. Is it something in the water? Is there a pro-albino support center on campus? Do albinos at the University of Maryland get some kind of financial aid?

Another thing about College Park, MD - the mayor is really hot. I saw Mayor-Daddy Stephen Brayman at an info booth this Saturday at the Maryland Day open house. He has a nice beard and hypnotic electric blue eyes. He just ooozed with power and authority. 3,000 bonus experience points to Dax for finding nice picture of said hot Mayor.

I am going to New York this weekend for the GB:NYC2 gathering. It will be good to see people I've met before, and to meet bloggers whom I've only read about. I'll be staying in gayfabulous Chelsea with a couple who consist of one of our former rugby team players and his partner who used to play D&D with the geek gang.

Now what time should I meet where on Friday? I don't know if I'm taking the cheaper Chinatown Bus quirky express or go in style but get robbed by Amtrak. Depends on how my back feels Friday morning I think.

Sooo...I got this friend from high school who lives in one of the Mountain States out West. The last time this friend asked me of a favor, in this case suggestions on where her friend visiting DC could go to, I got no response to my treatise on places where lesbians can go in DC, nor even a simple thank you for my efforts. Now this friend is asking me if I would be interested in hosting one of this friend's friend - a friend of a friend if you will - for a week. This friend lives in a college town where the college crash culture probably reigns supreme...I doubt this friend even thinks it is a problem. I dunno...there was a time when I'd have no problem with this, but for a week, and likely for no "thank you" for the hosting effort?

Perhaps I'm too big on politeness, etiqutte and diplomacy, but I just don't feel like hosting some cheap stranger I don't know, who's probably going to a conference in DC and wants to crash just to pocket the lodging money. Plus, I've learned that I covet my space and private time. I just don't feel like hosting someone I don't know. Any of you etiquette queens have some better suggestions on what to do?

Posted by jimbo at May 3, 2005 10:31 AM


Sorry Jimbo, this is the best I could come up with for the Mayor: http://www.diamondbackonline.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/04/20/4265f6dcb15c1
Not much I know.

As for the Chinatown bus, if I ever go to NYC, that's the way I'll go. Greyhound is an experience best left unrepeated, and they should never have been allowed to buy Trailways and Peter Pan. Stick it to the man!

Posted by: copperred at May 3, 2005 11:18 AM

Oh Lord. A friend of a friend of a friend who has a history of bad etiquette? And you are over 30 and not living in some big stoner ranch outside of Bolinas, California or Hanalei, Kauai?

Of course say no. And provide no explanation, lest she try to provide reasons why you should make an exception (like “she/he will be really quiet/small/clean/busy”).

“I’m sorry, I won’t be able to host your friend’s friend that weekend, but I know of some cheap hotels.”

One of the advantages of getting older is the privilege of having your own space that you don’t have to share when you don’t want to.

Posted by: Eric at May 3, 2005 12:23 PM

According to what my father told me and in an article I read here at work, Maryland has the largest population of Albinos in the United states.

Also here is a link to the pic of the Mayor of College park, not very good, but its something


I think the Mayor of Baltimore is cuter.

Posted by: Dax at May 3, 2005 12:25 PM

Concerning your etiquette problem, using the truth will probably work. If your friend reads your blog, the situation will work out. The friend was probably put on the spot as well.

Posted by: First mom at May 3, 2005 12:45 PM

Not an etiquette queen here, but I do (or did) read my Ann Landers - and one of her big rules was "people will only take advantage of you if you let them". You clearly don't want this person staying with you - what's wrong with just saying "NO"? What's the other rule about fish and houseguests - 3 days? You aren't being unreasonable here...

Posted by: Andy at May 3, 2005 1:54 PM

Goodness doesn't this friend's friend have an affinity group to crash with? I mean swing dancers host other strange swing dancers, 'cause G-d knows we're cheap. So do readers of Bujold's (who the heck is Bujold, I have no clue but Nora Bombay belongs and they let each other crash) sci-fi. My friend's mooching roommate that she sent packing off to WI managed to find a nice lesbian couple she didn't know from Eve to set her up for the night on her way to her final destination. Then there are relatives.
If you feel yourself getting weak only offer a day or two but say no more because on Wednesdays you turn into a green angry hulk.... HULK SMASH....

Posted by: Marie at May 3, 2005 3:42 PM


I can barely stand it when I host good friends for more than three days, let alone some random woman you don't know for an entire week. It would be different if you had a $1.65 million house with a guest house out back, but that would be your neighbors.

As for how to respond, you simply lie your ass off and say "I am sorry, I am going to be out of town for most of that week." And let it go at that.

If this person did not have the courtesy to thank you for the lesbo info on the last go round, you are in a good position to get screwed on this one. You probably would not even get the customary dinner out as a thank you. Think lentil pot-luck gathering in Berkenstock's.

Posted by: Seamus at May 3, 2005 3:44 PM

I'm a Miss Manners boy myself - and she would agree with an earlier post-er - just say "no, I'm sorry but I can't." - by offering no excuse, the other person hasn't got an opening for discussing it. It can be hard, but with a pretty good friend I did tack on an addition of "You really wouldn't be comfortable at my place." and it worked. With a virtual stranger it should be fine.

Posted by: ZZ at May 3, 2005 4:48 PM

I am in mixed agreement. I always offer my place to another Peace Corps volunteer or a blogger that I read, but that is it. I've had a few disasters with friends, so I'm not willing to do friends of friends of friends.

I don't recommend lying, but rather be direct as Eric said. Simply say that your place is small and that you only host direct friends. End of story.

Posted by: Glenn at May 3, 2005 8:06 PM

Honesty always works, and it gives you respect, at the cost of possibly offending the sensitive, which is probably a good thing.

Just tell her no, and give her the explaination: you don't know the person, and it wouldn't be cool if they stayed at your place; or whatever your reason is. (I wonder if I just used a colon and a semi-colon correctly in the same sentence.)I get mad when my roomates bring over people I have never met for a couple hours, lord knows I have had so many small things stolen in life, I sure as hell don't want someone I don't know staying with me.

Any other approach than honesty is a waste of time, and probably an opening to put you in an uncomfortable position.

Posted by: Kevin at May 6, 2005 9:21 AM