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April 29, 2005

DC real estate insanity

I live in a rapidly changing (I'm not comfortable with the term gentrification) neighborhood in NW DC between 5th and 6th Streets on T. 'Round here there are still crackheads and crackwhores, and the other day I pointed out a trail of blood to a friend as we walked to brunch, a trail likely left the night before due to an unfortunate deal on a corner known for drug trafficking, a mere 3 blocks from where I live.

The real estate situation here is insane...that is if you are not already a homeowner. My 'hood is historically an upper-middle class African-American neighborhood. The upper middle class African-American neighbors across the street just sold their detached victorian-style home with driveway and guest house for, get this: $1.625 Million! Madness.

Granted, it's 3 floors, about the size of the Addams Family estate, and includes a guest house in back with two 2-bedroom spaces. For more insight on my changing neighborhood, check out the In Shaw (Now With More Gentrification) blog.

Darth Vader's Blog - actually quite well-written for a Sith Lord. "Hold on. I need a death-stick. I am back. Where was I? Oh yes, Obi-wan..."

Cinema Owners Seek to Curb Phone Rage - "While many felt teenagers were the worst offenders, Mackenzie said they were the most cooperative about turning phones off." An interesting observation about new tech and how people deal with it.

More on the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker from the Post - "This bird has materialized miraculously out of the past but is also a symbol of the future," said Steve McCormick, president of the Nature Conservancy. Remarkably positve rhetoric from an environmental leader. Usually it's more like "The sky is falling!" In movements, positive statements usually work better. MLK never said, "I have a nightmare!"

Wierd Excuses for Calling in Sick - today my truthful excuse is, "Emerald snot nodules are flowing from my nose and throat." I had a coworker that had to call in saying, "My emus got loose!" And it was the truth. Later I asked if any had been hit by a car, as I was told emu steaks are low-fat and rather tasty. And from the same site, I learn why I'm always so hot at work. And I'm talkin' temperature, not my productivity or the intelligent curve of my behind.

As I blog from home and look out the window, our sidewalks along T and 6th are being nicely redone by a very handsome, short, square-jawed latino bricklayer with salt-and-pepper scruff and a nice haircut. He's wearing kneepads, reflective safety vest, and a hardhat, and has a tendency to swagger down the sidewalk, making his tight butt swagger nicely as well.

Posted by jimbo at 3:01 PM | Comments (7)

oh shit...

I am:
"You're probably one of those people who still thinks that getting a blowjob is not an impeachable offense."

Are You A Republican?

No more Forbidden Dances with former conservative writers for me...off to the STD clinic for a GOP test.

Posted by jimbo at 10:03 AM | Comments (6)

April 28, 2005

the origins of queer blogging

Opened up a particularly crappy issue of The Advocate this morning, featuring "Jeff Gannon" on the cover. Apparently all you have to do to get your face on glossy print is to be a fraud, liar and a ho here in DC, and a talentless one at that. The article featuring an interview with him focused on bloggers and blogs, and had a little aside about the origins of blogs with a quote from Michelangelo Signoriwhatever, who of course knows better. He tells us how blogs got their origins in the early gay activist newspapers.

No. Correct me if I'm wrong, but back inna day blogs were done by pre-dot-com exhibitionist info tech geeks with something or nothing to say, experimenting with new content management software like Greymatter and Blogger. These were the pioneers of queer blogging, not journalists. Blogs were mostly personal journals, not tools for journalism. That didn't come until around 2001 or so. Some queer blogging ancients include Jonno, Sparky, Uffish Thoughts and Kiri. Then a few web savvy writers and journalists caught on. Then everyone else.

For a better read in the same issue, go straight to the interview with Betty White instead.

Imagine seeing Elvis at the quickie mart, and getting it on camera, and publishing the find. That's how birdwatchers and ornithologists feel like regarding the recent sighting of the formerly-extant Ivory-Billed Woodpecker in Arkansas. And yes, they are sure it wasn't a Pileated Woodpecker. Jeez.

Posted by jimbo at 10:25 AM | Comments (11)

April 27, 2005

Mr. Smarty-Pants Architecture Fan Faggot

OK, I'm better today. I just had to vent yesterday. It was a shitty day. I still have a bit of a head cold. However, I got my Yahoo! identity back, so now I can check local weather. Luckily, as far as I know, only my roomate got infected by the nasty virus.

And I spoke with one of the communications faculty about grad program admissions. Apparently they take only 12 out of 200 applicants. That's like a 6% chance for me to get in, discounting lower than average GRE and GPA from undergrad. Ain't gonna happen for Jimbo in this program, I guess. It's off to the "Adult Education" route for me I guess, even though I really was impressed by the classes and program I had applied to.

Yesterday we had our biannual staff meeting, where we were given a tour of our brand-spankin' new engineering lab building. A Mr. Smarty-Pants Some-Time Architecture Fan Faggot (me) immediately raised his hand upon entering the lobby and asked the building manager tour guide, "Umm...excuse me...this architecture looks remarkably like that of the newest terminal at (Ronald Reagan Washington Whatever) National Airport. Did the same firm and architecht design this building too?"

"Why yes, Mr. Smarty-Pants Some-Time Architecture Fan Faggot," the tour guide said. "It is the same firm and architect. Very good." And I was all smug and smart-feeling for the rest of the tour.

After that we had a buffet lunch. I've noticed that women will do whatever they can to get between men and the buffet table, including spending untold hours kvetching over the selections. I believe that they think time spent in decision over the overwhelming food options will somehow lower the caloric content. Ladies, here's how it goes: Select, Shovel, Sit. One female coworker actually saddled the back of her chair right up to the buffet table. Much of her damaged, frizzy hair was literally in the platter of cookies. "Dana, your hair is in the cookie plate!" I said exasperatedly and quite loudly. She then proceeded to tell me the story of why her hair was so frizzy, including her conditioner woes and how long it had been since she had had a haircut. But she did not remove her locks from the cookie platter. I had no more cookies after that.

And you wonder why I was crabby yesterday?

Posted by jimbo at 10:22 AM | Comments (5)

April 26, 2005

charge that ring, 'boo

So like on Saturday night at Blowoff, the lights started going on and off and Clickboo (below, to my right) started freaking out and put his fist up in the air, saying:

I charge this ring with matchless might,
To banish all of evil's blight...

I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, and then Bob and Rich started playing and I couldn't hear the rest of what Clickboo was saying...
jimbo at left, Clickboo on the right

Listen up: if I have you on my Yahoo! Instant Messenger list DO NOT open or click on any links you may get from my instant message! My identity and password have been stolen, and apparently my Yahoo! IM is now sending out the same malicious instant messages. My AOL IM is fine though. My roomate got zapped yesterday from my account and his identity is now stolen too.

And I do not want to hear how this does not happen on a frikkin' Mac. I am sick of hearing that rhetoric. Just keep it to yourselves on that one.

In other shitty news, I got rejected by the communications graduate program here where I work. I was/am really into the classes, although I am getting a shitty grade in my Perusasion class due to fucking up on a test and I can't seem to get this paper right. Contingency plan: re-take GRE, re-take Persuasion class, apply again next year, be more vigilant with their overly-bureaucratic application system, possibly apply to "old people's" campus and just get a plain 'ol Master's rather than a fancy schmancy one.

To bitch more: again, no rugby this weekend as I have to work. It'll be Maryland Day on campus in College Park, basically a big fat open house. I have to man our student/faculty projects exhibit, herding the public to the museum and interpreting the exhibits. Will the motherfucker who left the old mini-submarines please move them out of my goddamn museum before Friday!!!

And I think I'm getting a cold. Wah.

Posted by jimbo at 10:19 AM | Comments (16)

April 24, 2005

a day out in horse country

Yesterday I had to miss a lovely day of rugby out in the country in order to attend the wedding of a fellow former Peace Corps Volunteer who married an Aussie with an incredibly hot family. It was probably the handsomest wedding I'd ever been to, with a remarkable amount of redheads (see bride, baby pictures below). I would almost feel my hair turning red, and there were strange pods out in the fields which broke open to release more redheads into the countryside.

The wedding was held somewhere out near Winchester, in a small town called Paris, Virginia. The church ceremony was just a couple doors down from the conveniently located inn. We drank lots of Australian wine. The rain began right when we were supposed to clear out, which also apparently cleared off the pitch out where my team was playing that day.

Final score of the A-side match: Renegades 56, Gotham like 3 or so. B-side Renegades also won 15 to zip. I was not there, but it would have been delicious to have been present.
she's no little girl - she's a LADY
"'sob!' Our little girl is all grown up!"
"She's never been our little girl - she's a LADY!"
disgustingly content, successful and annoyingly happy gay couple
This is Jack and Eric, probably the most successful, happy and disgustingly perfect gay couple in the universe. They are destined to get incredibly rich and remain happy forever. Bleah.

That night after sleeping off the Aussie wine, I went out to Blowoff, which was PACKED and more fun than ever. I cannot begin to name-drop all the bloggers, ruggers, the fabulous and the famous who where there. I had some nice chats with several Gotham players. There were even women and striaght hipsters there too, which made it even more fun. Bob and Rich rocked the house during the live numbers, and shirts were off in no time. Joe was in the midst of a mess of fun with his camera. I can't remember if it was Chrisafer or Beaverhausen John that said, "We like Jimbo when he's drunk." I am in some amount of pain today from the whiskey and gingers.

Posted by jimbo at 1:33 PM | Comments (9)

April 22, 2005

woof, woof revolution

I want the red-bearded Beaverhausen on the left most, but the one on the right is OK too. Found on Kyle's blog, not from theirs. And for more from that posse, do check out Schitzophonic, who makes me giggle with every entry. And none of them do it under the "brilliant" guise of meanness, nor at the expense of others. Amazing, isn't it?

Today Fitz steps in on an alien conversation about the new Pope...

With G.I. Joe action figures getting woofier every day, a site like Poseable Thumbs was inevitable. Described as "Hot Action-Man-On-Action-Man Action," probably not work safe, but then again, are action figures in compromising positions counted as porn?

I can't make it to the match out in Poolesville, MD against Gotham due to a wedding even futher west - to Paris, Virginia?!? I'm bummed because it's a beautiful pitch in a very pastoral setting. Youse guys are gonna love it. No mean people with digital cameras allowed.

Hopefully, it'll be one of the last weddings of my age group, which really drained my coffers back when they all decided to get married at the same time when I was poor(er). All you married straight bitches better make it to my wedding should the day come, when same-sex marriages are legal, and all that. And I will have a big-ass registry.

Anyhow, see y'all at Blowoff Saturday night...rumour has it we'll have a non-rugger (yet still talented) NYC visitor too. Pull the boulder out to block the cave entrance...somebody's hungry for bear meat!

Oh yeah, happy Earth Day!

Posted by jimbo at 10:20 AM | Comments (6)

April 21, 2005

the don't miss event of the weekend

image byListed in this morning's Metrorail Express as "the don't miss event of the weekend", be there at Blowoff Live upstairs at the 930 club this Saturday starting at 11. Not only will there be new live tunes from Bob and Rich, but good music spun up as well. Plus, the promise of a few dozen sweaty, randy, NYC Gotham ruggers, some Renegades in the same state, lots of alternabears, and even some shorn and smooth alterna-queens too.

Uh-oh...looks like there's some pressure for even more same-sex union priviliges in The District of Columbia (that's where I live, and no it's not part of MD or VA). Right now we do have visitation rights for hospital stays with registered couples. Apparently now there is some controversy over filing joint tax returns. Surprise, surprise, some fucking meddling REPUBLICAN Senator Sam Bareback (R) from Kansas has 'warned' the District, threatening to withold future funding for the District should we go ahead and recognize people who have lived, loved and paid taxes together long-term for many years.

In other words, some dude from some state out west is saying that a city/district with the second largest percentage of gays in the nation cannot recognize long-term same-sex partnerships, and that he will withold funds for roadwork, schools (think about THE CHILDREN!!!) or even national security funds (much of which we haven't spent yet. So this fucker is saying that gay partnerships and long-term property co-ownership in a city he doesn't even live in or grew up in is more of a priority to him than national security, education for children, or potholes. This is the Republican agenda. Gays are more terrifying to them, or more likely more gain them political clout, than security, education, or utilities. Fucker.

Posted by jimbo at 10:44 AM | Comments (5)

April 20, 2005

new pope, new wholfin

Newly elected Pope Benedict XVI, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of GermanySo they got a new pope. I'm hungry for eggs for some reason. Frankly, I'm more excited about the new baby dolphin/whale hybrid. It's certainly a cuter creature, and probably kinder too. Other strange captivity hybrids: Hinny-Mule, Hybrid Dogs, Leopon, Caraval/Servical Cross, Manchurian/Siberian Tiger Cross, Jaglion, Husky / Jackal, Liger-Tigon, Beefalo-Cattalo, Chimera, Polecat/Ferret Cross, Chausie Cat, Pumapard, Yak Crosses Zorse-Zonkey-Zony, Bengal-Savannah Cats, Bobcat/Lynx Cross, Cama, Tabby/African Wild Cat Cross, Ocelot/Puma Cross, Pig/Wild Pig Cross.

So I was watching TV last night and I see this shiny-happy National Fish and Wildlife Foundation/Wal-Mart commercial and I was like, "Ohmigawd! I was unemployed at the same time as that guy!" John Berry, the Executive Director of the National Fish and Wildlife Foundation was laid off as a National Park Service Clinton appointee when The Bush-Creature took the throne, which was right around the time I was unemployed. We both worked out at the 1211 Conn. Wasington Sports Clubs gym during the day to pass the time and had a few chats. He's certainly working the wholesome look in the ad. The goal of the union is for the purchase of an equivalent amount of land for wildlife conservation that has already been developed for Wal-Mart stores. I just hope they purchase tracts in the sum of the acreage developed by Wal-Mart, most of which was probably developed already, rather than piecemeal plots. Clearly a PR move on the part of Wal-Mart, not yet sure what I think of it though.

Posted by jimbo at 2:13 AM | Comments (7)

April 19, 2005

some good news

Text from an ad for Parents, The Anti-Drug in the early pages of Part A of today's Washington Post. The ad shows a picture of a hand holding a joint:

Remember that joint some of us "experimented" with?

Well, it's twice as strong today.


We are studying the failed anti-drug campaigns of the 80's in my Persuasion class, and it is evident that nothing has changed since. I'm told millions of dollars are spent annually on poorly-executed health campaigns where no persuasion/communication expert is consulted, or even a psychologist, drug counselor, or marketing specialist. The anti drug campaigns are mainly just some kind of political tool to spend money to look good. Just how effective is an ad meant to persuade me or my children to stop using drugs when it tells me drugs are better than they used to be? The gay equivalent to this failed ad would be something like:

You know those hits of E you took in the mid-90's?

Well honey, they pack an even bigger punch today.


Posted by jimbo at 10:30 AM | Comments (9)

April 18, 2005

this is how we do it

I spent most of the weekend running around like a chicken, with head cut off. Back and forth from Titan/17th St. to my house to rugby pitch and back again. Friday night we greeted the combined mostly-gay team from Raleigh/Durham, who were a fun bunch. On Saturday we played against them and got our first win of the season. They had some mighty tacklers on their team, and in addition to running into the pliant part of a chain-link fence, I also got the wind knocked out of me by one of their players. It has been a long time since that happened.

I played winger (zzzzz...) for almost the whole match, but that was OK because I had stuff going on that evening and woulda been dead tired had I played any other position.

Our team has been having a good period lately, at long last. It's due to a combination of the age of our team, good coaching, good governing body, and I hate to say it but the gay drama is mostly neutralized by the fact that our team is now about half straight. It just seems that every time you get a bunch of heavily ghettoized urban queens together they will often get nasty to each other. I'll have to agree with what one blogger said last week about some high drama on another gay rugby team: "...such behavior is often tolerated or even encouraged and rewarded." I'm starting to see that the bigger the ghetto, the more drama you get. In this case I'm suggesting some integration is in order for some balance and perspective.

Although that wasn't the case when I was on the Washington Wetskins Water Polo Team. There, if you weren't in shape enough to float and play, you really didn't have any business being there to cause drama, so the nasty queen quotient was relatively low. Literally it was sink or swim. In rugby, there is sometimes wiggle-room for poseurs, drama-mongers and sex addicts.

We had three such individuals on the rugby team not long after the Renegades were formed. I called them the Drama Furies, or the Triumvirate of Evil. One considered the team his personal sex pool, and would hit on every new player literally the moment they walked on the pitch. Another was Mr. Contrary, and loudly vocalized his contrasting opinions in very undiplomatic ways on the listserv whenever possible. And the third was simply a yahoo whose behavior also got him kicked off the next organization he joined, and the one after that. Simply a mess. Luckily, we had a team constitution and procedures on our side, and the board decided the shitheads were more trouble than they were worth. They never played many actual matches anyway. I was the deliverer of bad news in the form of a refunded check in the amount of their original membership dues. To this day none of them will speak to me, even though it was a board that made the decision to boot 'em out. Whatever...don't launder your issues on my team, people...your membership dues are better spent at the office of a mental health professional.

Getting rid of shitheads on any team or organization kinda reminds me of my aquarium. This weekend I noticed a wound on one of my guppies, most likely caused by an increasingly aggressive algae eater named Hoover. Granted, Hoover was very good at his job, and cleaned out the carpet of algae in the aquarium completely in under 2 weeks. It's been sparkly clear ever since. But Hoover got bigger and very territorial, and constantly bullies the other more peaceful livebearing fish. They were starting to show signs of stress. After seeing the guppy's wound I had had enough. Hoover got a peaceful death in the freezer, then flushed down the toilet for good. Other communities could definitely benefit from similar procedures - except in this case it would be human waste, rather than fish, that could be flushed away.

Posted by jimbo at 10:38 AM | Comments (5)

April 15, 2005

The Great Big International Drag King Show 5

The Great Big International Drag King Show 5
Get ready for The Great Big International Drag King Show 5 on Saturday, May 21st at the 9:30 Club in NW DC. Featuring Drag King acts such as the Cuntry Kings and Pat Riarch from Durham, NC and The4Man from our very own Washington, DC.

The Great Big International Drag King Show 5 continues as the featured night of entertainment for GenderPac's Fifth Annual National Conference on Gender 2005, May 20th-May 22nd at the DoubleTree Hotel in Crystal City.

"The National Conference on Gender brings together activists, educators and students for three days to discuss gender policy and strategy. Drag kings are the gender-bent rock and roll fantasy, the arbiters of pop-sized political messages and as American as Rogers & Hammerstein musical comedy. We are glad to team up with The Great Big International Drag King Show for a third year." says Riki Wilchins, Executive Director of The Gender Public Advocacy Coalition (GenderPAC).

Like the new Nationals team and the national museums, I'm glad The Great Big International Drag King Show 5 is there, but I probably won't make it to the game. Just one of the many neat things about DC, and I love what they're doing.

Good ego boost this week...I created a marketing plan with talking points for our department many moons ago. We just got a new Assistant Dean of Marketing for the school, who has started his own branding campaign for the school. At our last meeting, I noticed many of his talking points for the school were similar to mine for the department, and I pointed out that all of our school and my department's features involved a high level of "engagement" on various levels between faculty, students, local federal agencies and labs, etc. So I suggested the tag line of "Engineering Engaged," and he took the idea and ran with it!!! I knew being voted "Most Creative" in my high school yearbook would profit some day...

Posted by jimbo at 11:07 AM | Comments (1)

April 14, 2005


This morning I opened up the Express edition of the Washington Post during my MetroRail commute. The Express is sort of the "Post-Lite" for MetroRail riders, and is provided free of charge. Anyhow, I open up the center spread, pages 12-13, which features an advertisement for new developed estates in Martinsburg, West Virginia, which a lot of DC commuters are considering these days.

Look closely at the images of West Virginia wildlife on the left side of the attached image. "Say Hi to Your New Neighbors!" - which appear to be Pacific sea otters. I never knew their Pacific coast comeback was so successful that their populations spread all the way to freshwater lakes in West Virginia:
say hi to sammy sea otter!

Last Sunday after a Dungeons and Dragons session with tha geeks, My'ra, one of the players in the group offered me a ride home. As I got into her car, she mentioned, "Jimbo, I never noticed how petite you were." My'ra has this perception that I'm a trucker-bait bearcub, which she likes to entertain at any opportunity.

"I'm 180 pounds, bitch!" I replied. Petite? I'm proud of the weight I've gained, and it sure helps during rugby. Granted, the mass is mostly skull-weight, but who's asking? When I was unemployed, depressed and not eating well, I got down to 150 and I didn't like the look at all. Sure, I could see my abs, but my face was all sunken and I looked like a tina whore. There's nothing like a little chubby in yer cheeks to make you look younger too. When I started working again, I also got my tonsils removed at long last, which then prevented the bi-monthly strep throat sessions that I'm sure had my body burning a lot of energy to get rid of. Not long after that surgery, I started gaining. Or maybe it was the onset of my mid-30's. In either, case, I ain't petite, bitch!

miss petite on the right
Pic from last Saturday's match above. Shadow Voice 2nd from left, Jimbo far right.

Posted by jimbo at 5:24 PM | Comments (12)

April 13, 2005

buttfucked by gayzilla

From Something Awful:

What's bizarre is that I distinctly remember checking out that book in middle school, and loved the book a lot. I think the original title was "Revenge of the Rainbow Dragons" or something like that. The book clearly turned me into a gay Dungeons and Dragons player.

Posted by jimbo at 12:51 PM | Comments (8)

April 12, 2005

finger-lickin' good

Wisconsin Considers Legalizing Cat Hunting

I don't know what the big deal is. Scandinavian Americans have been shooting and eating cats for generations in Western Wisconsin and Eastern Minnesota. It's a tradition brought over from the old country during times where cheese curds became unavailable. Framing legislation for this way of life would be like putting double-parking near churches in DC on Sunday in the books. It's something that just happens and is allowed.

As a cat-eating Scandinavian-American, I get offended by ALF jokes and racial stereotypes about immigrants from SE Asia being the primary cat-eaters of the world. It's a misleading stereotype as Scandinavian-Americans eat more cat biomass than Koreans, Thais, Laotians, Hmong, Phillipinos and Singaporeans combined.

Back when I was in Stevens Point for undergrad, I didn't have anyone to make deep fried Cheesy Meowmfee Poofs because Ma was back in Holmen ya know. So I had to learn how to fatten up my cat, who I named Ninja when I got him, but by the time I was done I could better name him Sumo. I learned how to fry up some kitty with beer batter, and I filled up a full colander with Cheesy Meowmfee Poofs! When I lived on Swann Street here in DC one of my two cats, Mattie, "mysteriously disappeared," leaving me and the other cat Pooh with lots to eat. But then Pooh went nuts and started biting me. Batter-fried kitty kibbles are second only to batter-fried cheese curds on my list of favorite dishes.

Dunner loves fried Meomfee Poofs too, but claims his mom is better at cookin' 'em up than my mom is. I challenge you and your mom, Dunner, to a cat-kibble frying contest. Bring it. Even Bob reminisces fondly about the various fried cat goods available at almost any corner convenience store in Minneapolis.

And those cats over in Minnesota, or even Iowa, are really wiley beasts. The Wisconsin ones are a lot easier to get because they're fatter. Did you know that Blaze Orange is not visible to feline eyesight?

Posted by jimbo at 11:15 PM | Comments (5)

oh, look at the moon!

Last night I was waiting outside the Q Street exit of the DuPont Circle Metrorail station waiting for my hometown friend, who was in town for a conference and wanted to meet up.

It was around 8pm, and a sliver of moon had risen in the clear night sky. People streamed out from the long ascent, and one dusky-skinned woman with a large bag of groceries emerged and looked up at the moon and said to me, "Ooooh! Look at the moon! It's so beautiful!!!"

I spppressed my acquired East Coast reaction of shock and suspect hesitancy and thought, "OHMYGAWD A COMPLETE STRANGER IN DC SPOKE DIRECTLY TO ME AND DIDN'T ASK FOR MONEY!!!"

The main reason why people give you a look of shock and terror when you go up to speak to them in this town (and other Mid-Atlantic cities as well) is that in most cases the only time someone comes up to you to talk is to ask for money. If you do go up to talk to someone here to either get acquainted or even offer a compliment, 80% of the time they'll look at you like you are crazy. I try to fight this reaction in myself, and try not to take it personally when people react that way to my attempts at extroversion. Back home, it is not considered psycho to go up and chat with someone you don't know, and it's a cultural trait I'd like to keep, thank you.

"Yes, and the sky is so clear tonight," I responded. "Do you think it's waxing or waning?"

"Oh, I think it's waxing. You see it now at the start of the evening, so it's waxing." I don't know that much about astronomy, so I couldn't comment, and joined her in the stargazing. Eventually she wished me good night, and headed towards P Street. As she walked away another guy came out of the station and looked up at the moon as well. He kinda looked like Tom Skerritt circa 1980 in Alien. Was he getting ready to join that fateful tour aboard the The Nostromo? Stay clear of air ventilation shafts, buddy.

The sky was very pretty last night, and the days have been glorious. People are noticeably friendlier and more polite in this weather. They say "Please" and "Thank You" and hold doors open for you. I think the cold, damp winters here can be brutal in their own way. Spring Break trips anywhere south and/or sunny are now going to become the norm from now on. I start to get very nutty towards the end of March.

My friend evenatually emerged from the station with her two co-conferenceers for dinner. First we tried Logan Tavern, but the clear weather had stimulated every queen in a half-mile radius, and they all needed to eat as well. We were too hungry to wait an hour to be seated. Then I led the Bataan Death March up 14th Street to try Saint Ex, where we saw The Mighty Former Blogger Ed and his dapper friends. We had a nice dinner and caught up on hometown gossip.

Posted by jimbo at 10:02 AM | Comments (3)

April 11, 2005

my aquarium @ work

45 gallons, baby
No fish for a month or so until it settles. I'm still debating whether or not to get a new filter, or whether to get freshwater tropical or goldfish.

Oh lordy...it's warm and sunny on campus, and I believe that if I were still closeted, these would be the days that I would be ejected out of the closet like pulsing jets of white-hot...anyway, all the kids on campus are growing full, untrimmed scruff in order to look cool like Mr. Britney Spears-Federline. I love you Britney, for marrying a scruffster, thus promoting this trend.

Back when I was like 20 in 1990 or so, it was all the clean shaven crap and the beginning of the Dark Years of Chest Shaving. Now scruff and fur is back, even with the youngsters, and I'm so very happy to be gay.

Although in 1990 I didn't have much to complain about. I was on the hockey team floor of our dormitory, and they grew their scruff out and left it unshorn until the season was over, hanging around the dorm shirtless drinking beer all season. Beefy hockey boys from Canada, Minnesota and New Jersey. Blond, red, brown, and dark scruff and fur all up and down the dormitory hall on my floor. It was pure jimbo torture, and during those semesters I was extremely cranky and uptight since I wasn't quite out yet and had no release from the unavoidable visual overstimulation. I did the whole averting my eyes and stuff in the group dorm showers, lest I pop a woody and feel all weird about it. Not long after I finally started checkin' the gay thing out. I give a lot of credit to the hockey team back in my freshmen year of college for much of my personal development.

Posted by jimbo at 4:13 PM | Comments (5)

April 10, 2005

pull my shirt off and scream!!!

photos by todd franson

EEEEE! Friday night's Duran Duran concert was awesome! While we had seats at the opposite end of the Patriot Center in Fairfax, the view wasn't bad since the arena was a pint-sized one. DD played nearly every song I wanted to hear, with the exception of Is There Something I Should Know? and Union of the Snake, and no Power Station or Arcadia songs either. But they did play some seriously Old Skool DD songs like The Chauffeur and even the insturmental Tiger Tiger which apparently made Fitz squeal with delight as well. During Careless Memories, there was this bloody kick-ass anime cartoon featuring Duran Duran (Duranime?) versus ninjas and a godzilla-like critter. It was the Saturday morning cartoon that I would have loved to watch had it been conceived back in tha day. Simon's weapon was of course his microphone stand, Andy's his guitar which was plunged into the heart of the enemies, Roger threw his cymbals at the baddies like throwing stars, and John upped the speakers for a sonic attack. Of course Nick had a hi-tech gadget that threw lightning. In order to fight the giant monster that was destroying the city, Duran Duran had to grow to Gianto-Size like UltraMan. Before fighting the giant lizard, Simon threw a punch into the corporate headquarters of Big Music Industry, a statement I didn't quite get, but it was cute. If any of y'all know where I can get my grubby hands on that cartoon, let me know, I'm a fan. A review of similar shows is here and here. I especially liked Wild Boys and White Lines.
todd, jon and jimbo
The Wild Boys. Photos by Todd Franson. Here's Todd, Jon and me in the beer garden before the show. Most of the audience consisted of queer boys and ex-faghags looking for the fags they lost the first time they went to a DD concert.
jon and jimbo
Dead tired from the night before, I still made it to my first rugby match of the season on Saturday against USUHS (sp?) and George Mason University, which was ironic, as I was just there the night before. I got Man of the Match for playing scrumhalf on the B-side, which was a surprise since I felt dead tired and had shot my load by halftime, and didn't feel that I had played that well. Replacement scrummy pulled a groin so I was back in again at scrumhalf after playing wing for a bit. Dead tired after the social and entered another regenerative coma when I got home, sans feeding tube.

Woke up sore with a headache, probably from the hit I took to the head from an enthusiastic GMU student. Didn't make it to Blowoff like I wanted to, as the volume wouldn't have helped my head at all. I am looking forward to the Blowoff Live concert on April 23, which will have more room than the usual space for my unique style of interpretive dance. While there is a big gay rugby tournament in the area that day, I'll be at a wedding so will have to miss the match. However, rumour has it that the evening's social event for the DC, New York and Charlotte rugby boys at the local tourney will be to go to Blowoff Live that evening, so expect a woofy, randy, bruised, dirty and sweaty crowd - if you're into that sort of thing that is.

At the post-match social I had a nice chat with teammate Chris 'Mac' MacDonald of indiefeed podcasts. Mac is a podcast professional and was a judge at a recent Mid Atlantic Laptop Battle, in addition to being a woofy fellow and a gritty rugger. Check out his indiefeed podcasts site if you want to be on top of the scene.

It is sunny and glorious outside today. Time to pull my shirt off and clear out the old vines and dead sunflower stalks from the garden to prepare for this year's plantings.

Posted by jimbo at 10:18 AM | Comments (6)

April 8, 2005

you're going to die a horrible death this summer (again)

In case you missed anything, here's a news update:

Last Week: Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo Terri Schiavo .

This Week: Dead Pope Dead Pope Dead Pope Dead Pope Dead Pope Dead Pope Dead Pope Dead Pope Dead Pope Dead Pope Dead Pope .

This Month: Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson .

Next Week: ?

I'm taking bets on what will kill us next week, but especially this summer. Every year about this time the Today show spells out what's going to make us die a horrible death (again) this summer. One year it was shark attacks, the next year it was the snakehead terror, and so on. Flesh-eating bacteria and homosexual marriage are so 2004. We need something new and terrifying to strike fear into the hearts of Americans in order to keep them docile and easily controlled.

What threat will it be? We haven't heard from our old friends the killer bees in some time. Howabout a fatal inner ear disease passed to humans via gay koala droppings? Inner-city pedicure salons getting robbed for their fake nail collections, which are a hot aphrodisiac in Taiwan? Who knows, but I'll buy dinner to any media hysteria oracle who correctly forsees what is going to kill us this summer.

Ohmigawd like Duran Duran is tonight and I like have this HUGE zit on my forehead so like when Simon looks at me with his dreamy sparkly eyes he'll like look away in horror and marry the next supermodel instead and I'll have to settle for that tall storky bass player instead Taylor whatever I can't remember his name but like he sung that song for the 9 1/2 Weeks soundtrack so I'll like Do What I Do To Have You Have You Have You I Do I Do I Do. Do you look the way you wanted to look? Do you feel the way you wanted to feel? Are you happy now that we're fantasies? Ohmigawd I'm gonna poop my pants and start screaming.

Posted by jimbo at 10:17 AM | Comments (11)

April 7, 2005

Endora's Blue Eye Shadow Cult

agnes mooreheadThe 36th annual world's largest trivia contest will be held in Stevens Point, WI this weekend. It's where I went to undergrad school. The whole town goes nuts, and the contest spans three days, all day and all night. Teams give themselves funny names that you hear on the radio when they state the current scores. My friend's team name was Endora's Blue Eye Shadow Cult.

Speaking of Endora, a celebration of Agnes Moorehead's inspirational life and work is being held in Madison, Wisconsin during the weekend of April 29th - May 1st, 2005. Included in the festivities will be a trip to the Wisconsin Historical Society Archives, which include more than 150 scrapbooks (including several dealing with the Bewitched years), radio, film and television scripts, and a variety of other interesting memorabilia from Moorehead's life. Also included is a trip to Reedsburg to see the church Moorehead grew up in, as well as the pulpit her father preached from. On Saturday, April 30th, author Charles Tranberg will be doing a question and answer session at a Madison-area restaurant. For more information, contact: Jone Devlin. Endora@moorehead.com

And speaking of dead people, a pre-Civil War era iron casket was found just north of where I live in DC. Naturally, the construction crews fucked it up and left the thing lying around for a couple of days, which is an archaeological no-no - when exposed to open air a mummy or corpse's rate of decay will accelerate. That and they left it in a poorly-secured place where naturally curious kids came in and wrecked the crossbars and faceplate. Unfortunate, and Homer can tell you a few other tales of local DC incompetence regarding archaeological sites from his time doing archaeological internships here.

Posted by jimbo at 10:42 AM | Comments (3)

April 6, 2005

damn city folk

Well, we've seen plenty of fanaticism and uninformed acts and words from the right, now here's one from the left. Jake sets a carp from the New York fish market free in the wild to liberate it! Anyone remember the opening scene from 28 Days Later? If instant karma were real, he shoulda got his face bit off by a rabid chimp for that stunt.

Let's see, in how many ways is this wrong?

Well, my illusion of liberal urbanites as being generally enlightened was blown out of the water by this guy. I hope he got some hipster points for doing that at least, and can gloat about it over his Pabst Blue Ribbon beer at the newest unnamed 'it' spot with his other smarty-pants friends with dark-rimmed glasses. What was even more frightening was the number of other uninformed "YAAAAY!" comments from the entry. In other words, this is an example of a lot of uninformed folk on the left as well. What I call bleeding hearts. Goddamn I sound like Ann Coultier.

For further information on the topic of non-native species introduction and the damage that they do, do a Google search using the words snakehead, zebra mussel, lamprey (great lakes), purple loosestrife, Galapagos Islands, starlings, rock doves (pigeons), house sparrows, dingoes, cane toads (Australia), eucalyptus trees (San Francisco area) Aleutian Islands (introduced foxes destroying seabird populations), black locust tree, and the list goes on and on. Hawaii Ron may have even more non-native invasive species to add to the above list (some kind of evil snail wiping out local snail populations). Travis, what was that project you were working on in Madison?

And from my even-better informed and enlightened high school friend from Wisconsin, now an invasive species honcho:

An Interagency Coordination Committee on exotics:

Wisconsin's Invasive Species Awareness Month:

The Great Lakes Regional Collaboration Aquatic Invasive Species Strategy Team:

The Case of the Cane Toad in Australia

Way to go Jake!

Posted by jimbo at 6:34 PM | Comments (13)

college crabs tale

On the drive back from West Virginia the subject of STDs came up. Both the driver and I were happy to relate that the only things either of us had ever caught were crabs. That's a good thing I guess, as it only takes a few treatments of toxic shampoo to exterminate the embarassing ectoparasites, plus a whole lot of laundry duty. At least they don't stick with you for the rest of your life. Still, I loathe them, and I went crazy the first time I found out the little vermin were crawling all over me. Them and scorpions. Frikkin' creep me out they do. Anyway, here's the tale of my first experience with crabs in college:

I'm fairly certain I hadn't gotten crabs the first time from a partner, as in 1990 I had just come out and the pickins were slim in Central Wisconsin, and I hadn't gotten much play from the scared closeted theatre majors there nor from the inaccessible down-low redneck Polish descendant hotties in my college of natural resources.

I had just returned from a training hike weekend trip for a 200-mile fundraising hike-a-thon I was to participate in to raise money for bald eagle habitat over spring break. We were to hike from Central Wisconsin to Southwest Wisconsin over 200 miles of county roads. In order to do that, you had to do two weekend road hikes to get into shape and test your mettle for the task. We stayed overnight in community centers which became very close quarters where our smelly clothes were hung over each other here and there to dry. That's where the nasties hopped on my threads, and then on to me, I believe.

After a training hike weekend I was sitting in the back row of my Geology 101 class with a fellow hiker to my right, and a wildlife biology major to my left, with whom I had taken several biology classes. None of us were paying too much attention to the Rocks For Jocks lecture. My feet were kicked up on the seats in front of us, and I felt a tingling, itching feeling under my sock that wouldn't let up. My legs are pretty fuzzy, so it took a while to find the culprit - a tiny semi-transparent critter that was squirming around amongst my leg hair follicles, no larger than a pinhead. "Hmmm...I wonder what that thing is? A woodtick nymph?" After the weekend on the road resting in grassy ditches to soothe my aching feet from the training hike, it was the only thing I could think of. That and too many wildlife biology courses with units on parasites had skewed my outlook. No Jimbo, think human parasites.

I wrested the creature from my leg and showed it to the guy to my right, then to Andrea on my left, who was already quite good at wildlife identification. "What do you think it is, Andrea? Some kind of nymph or arachnid?" She didn't know what it was either, but suggested I take it to Dr. Haight, the professor of entomology in our school. So I put the critter in a folded piece of paper and waited for class to end, and promptly marched over to the natural resources college to visit the august professor of bugs.

Professor Haight was happy to try and help me, but after putting the critter under the stereoscope he started to 'hrrmmm' and 'hummm' as he analyzed it. He looked up to me kindly and said, "This is a human louse, specifically one that's often acquired from sexual contact. Otherwise known as a crab louse." As diplomatically as he put it, it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, I could feel them crawling all over me - in my crotch, on my hairy legs, all over my body. He then explained how I could get rid of them, or I could just go to the health center. He then asked me if he could keep the crab, as he was low on lab samples for lab identification exercises.


But I didn't say that. Somewhere, glued to a slide in the University of Wisconsin - Stevens Point Entomology Department specimen collection is a tiny crab that once lived on jimbo...

I went to get my medicine and get looked at, and oddly the only nits or bugs they could find were on my right leg. None resided in my bush. I don't know what's up with that. Anyhow, I did the whole spray and shampoo thing, and had to wash all my laundry. That special shampoo totally fades your laundry, btw.

I was also due to go home the following weekend. I brought my special shampoos home for the final treatment, tucked away discretely in my backpack. My sentitive, caring mom decided to dig in my bag the moment I turned my back, and when she found the bottles of RID announced out loud, "OH! You've got CRITTERS!!" She thought it was funny.

Posted by jimbo at 1:53 AM | Comments (7)

April 5, 2005

hi guys, by the way...

OhMiGawd I'm like going to see Duran Duran live in concert this Friday. They like never came to Wisconsin when I was younger. Well, maybe to Summerfest in Milwaukee or to the state fair, but never over on the Western Half of the state.

I always thought the drummer was the cutest. Was that Roger or Andy Taylor? I could never remember. Will that crackhead lead guitarist bother to show up? Will they do any Arcadia songs? Will they do the extended dance remix of The Reflex? EEEEEE! I'm so excited!!!

Miss In Shaw is ready for spring:

My compost brings all the worms to the yard
And they're like, it's better than yours.
Damn right, it's better than yours

Posted by jimbo at 9:25 AM | Comments (13)

April 3, 2005

west virginia weekend

This is Petunia. She was the prettiest girl of us all this weekend at my friend's farm.
miss petunia, aka Tunie
We left Friday in a rush in order to beat the expected rains, which would have left us high and dry if the bridges to the farm were flooded. I was in the back seat on the way there with two very serious business travellers. We arrived in time to take a hike in the woods before the rains came, which lulled me to sleep as it pattered on the metal roof above my bedroom upstairs. It rained all night and into the next day, and I promised myself to go take a closer listen to the spring peepers in the bog nearby. Another guest arrived on Saturday, and after the bog performance we watched disaster flicks on the Sci-Fi channel that evening. I wanted to see destruction in the earthquake disaster film 10.5, which I got in addition to gawking at the woofalicious blond bear geologist Dr. Jordan Fisher, played by the aptly named David Cubitt. Like many sci-fi woofers these days, he's from Vancouver.

Posted by jimbo at 8:34 PM | Comments (3)