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March 16, 2005
the lost scrolls of aravosis
In regards to the blind retailer entry, a hometown friend also living here in DC found out from some of her coworkers that the Randolph Shepherd Act gives hiring preference to blind people for vending positions. That explains the oddity. Whaddaya know?
Some of you may have read John Aravosis' advocacy blog AmericaBlog.com. Most of the time he's busying himself exposing hypocrite closeted gay Republicans and stuff like that, but the other day he had an entry asking his readers to help him translate an antique script he bought in New Orleans that may be from 1690 or so. But the part that cracked me up were the readers' comments on what the script could be. Most were genuinely helpful suggestions, but more than a few smartasses had to put in their two cents, myself included. Here are some of my favorites:
- The lost Gospels of Jesus in which he lays out his teachings on supply-side economics, pre-emptive war and homophobia.
- A love note to a very young Martin Luther from a gay priest.
- It's George Bush's talking points for the day.
- The only original text known to be written by James Guckert under the name of Jeff Gannon. Something about "8 inch ... cut ... top ..."
- It's a map to the lonely mountain!
- It's Rove's contract with Satan.
- They detail how to find a unicorn.
- It's the minutes of Dick Cheney's Energy Task Force written in Farsi and Persian.
- The first line reads: "ONE BLOG TO RULE THEM ALL"
- It's the first draft of the Republican plan for Social Security overhaul.
- It's an early draft of that "Milkshake" Song.
- "In his house at Rlyeh, dead Cthulhu lies dreaming..."
- I can totally recreate that in Microsoft Word.
- I'd love to hear Camille Paglia's translation.
- It is a draft of the first elf/human same-sex civil union in Middle Earth.
- Transcripts from the first Swedish Chef episode on The Muppet Show.
Posted by jimbo at March 16, 2005 10:10 AM
Comments
I wish I had an imaginative response, but I haven't finished my DietCoke. I took a look at it is an English deed- I'm surprised he wasn't smart enough to figure that out.
Posted by: homer at March 16, 2005 11:47 AM
It could be a recipe for Elvish whey bread.. or a Vulcan sex manual.
Posted by: Dax at March 16, 2005 12:08 PM
You entry reminded me that my ex used to work in a government building out in Rockville. They referred to the newstand in the building, which housed offices for thousands of government wonks, as the "blind stand". . . When he originally told me about the set up he seemed to think that it was just a tradition. Who knew it was actually legislation that set it up? And these days Congress cannot even pass a budget. . .
Posted by: BustersDad at March 18, 2005 8:32 AM