« November 2004 | Main | January 2005 »

December 31, 2004

back from the holidays

x-mas stuffClockwise from top: my bitchin' big gay rainbow snowboard, my favorite book from childhood "Minn of the Mississippi" that I scored in a bookstore in LaCrosse, a tumbled tile beer pint coaster from McMenamin's in Oregon, foam cheesehead hat for a coworker, my bitchin' gay fuscia snowboarding goggles.

I made it back without any snares in the flight from Oregon, except for the child in front of me screaming all the way from Oregon to Detroit. In the Detroit airport, I was horrified to discover that the same screaming toddler was seated directly behind me on the way to DC, but was all screamed out by then. This compliments the 8 screaming fetuses on my flight from MPLS to Oregon before that, where they were screaming in unison at the start of the flight, and then screamed in shifts after that for 3 hours. I am seriously rethinking flying during the holidays from this experience. Plus, Wisconsin is a lot nicer in the summer. Not much to do in the winter but take pictures of The World's Largest 6-Pack and other oddities in LaCrosse.

Again, I did my part to stir things up back home. Still can't find the link to the online version, but a copy of my text is in the extended entry below. My coming out to an entire county in Wisconsin gave a lot of old classmates a way to get back in touch with me, which wasn't an expected result of writing the piece, but nice.

So I get to Hood River, Oregon, and my brother decides there's not enough snow on Mt. Hood, so we travel to Mt. Bachelor in Bend, located sorta in Central Oregon on the high desert. Despite it being in the middle of the desert, Mt. Bachelor catches moisture and gets a good snowpack. It was pretty good on the 28th, but then a night's snow and snow all day created great conditions on the 29th. I got pretty good and didn't forget much, but my ass, shoulders and forearms hurt a lot today. But I can see now why they have big gay ski weekends, as ski resorts during the usual periods are overwhelmingly heterosexual. Cute scruffy rich guys, but my gaydar never went off once up there on the mountain.

My brother and I stayed in a neat restored Jesuit elementary school turned grownup playground and brewpub, complete with a theater, restaurant and soaking pool inside. There were hostel-like rooms and normal rooms there too, highly suggested. The beer was great too.

Why so many hateful letters?

By JIM BO, Washington, D.C.

While home celebrating Christmas in the La Crosse area with my family, I've been alarmed and disheartened by the almost daily anti-gay views featured in the Opinion section of the La Crosse Tribune. What has happened here while I've been away? I recall growing up with a more "live and let live" attitude in this region, rather than this judgmental environment of righteous castigation.

I am guessing many here believe they've been given the green light by the man in the White House and his party to identify and attack whatever groups necessary in order to avoid bigger problems such as the economy, war or health care.

It's called scapegoating, a common and simple tool used by politicians. Fay Peaslee, you've gobbled up what Karl Rove has fed you quite well, and your righteous tummy is showing.

Rodney Griffing implies in his piece from Friday that I am evil. While I am a gay person originally from this area, I am pretty sure I am not evil. I don't wake up every morning plotting the destruction of heterosexual marriages.

I was raised Lutheran, and remain a person of faith. I pay taxes, I love batterfried cheese curds, and I care deeply about the fate of this country and its people. To be called evil and to be told that I am here to destroy society hurts my feelings.

Gay people just want to share the same joys, misery and challenges that straight people face every day, without having to be hushed by a righteous majority. We are not asking for much.

Posted by jimbo at 12:50 AM

December 29, 2004

hi

hi. thanks for the birthday wishes. I'm at a retarded computer with a teensy monitor right now and my hands are cold, and it makes blogging difficult.

But yep, Tuesday the 28th was my birthday. I am 34. 34 is totally hot. I spent it on the slopes of Mt. Bachelor, Oregon, as we decided the snow wasn't very good on Mt. Hood. Today it snowed a lot and the powder was nice and fluffy, often up to my knees. My snowboarding skills are better. I wipe out less. I'm totally ready for a gay ski weekend somewhere, once I get matching goggles though.

More tomorrow, when I'm at My Precious computer at home, safe in the 'hood. Apparently I stirred some shit up with the paper back home, but I can't find the link right now. Will search tomorrow. I am SO LOOKING FORWARD to being back home, DC never looked so good.

'mwa!'. Jimbo

Posted by jimbo at 11:07 PM

December 27, 2004

catholic make-out joints in dc

From a conversation last night with me and my mom on a night on the town at Outback Steak House:

Jim: You should come visit me in DC some time soon. There are lots of new museums and stuff there.
Mom: I heard there's a big garden you can tour at some cathedral?
Jim: snicker. Yup. There's a garden behind the National Cathedral. Lot's of 'private spaces' there AND it's open late at night. tee hee.
Mom: James!

BTW: Don't bother with the martinis at Outback.

Posted by jimbo at 10:15 AM | Comments (6)

December 26, 2004

the 6-pack is back

No, not mine, but the World's Largest 6-pack, located in downtown LaCrosse, Wisconsin. Instead of painting the krausening (fermentation) towers, this time they've wrapped the 6-story tall towers in vynil wraps colored to make them look like the giant 6-pack of old. I took pictures, and I promise to develop them upon my return. I also got shots of the infamous statue of King Cambrinus, i.e. the original "King of Beers," the patron saint of beer.

Hans Tolvstad: male human cleric 8 of Cambrinus; Medium humanoid; HD 8d8; hp 61; Init +4; Spd 30 ft.; AC 18; AL LG; SV Fort +16, Ref +10, Will +13; Str 17, Dex 19, Con 11, Int 10, Wis 15, Cha 14. Height 5 ft. 7 in., weight 250 lbs., 34 years old.

Skills and Feats: Concentration +5, Craft (beer) +12, Diplomacy +11, Gather Information +4, Knowledge (nature) +2, Knowledge (religion) +8, Knowledge (brewery, viticulture) +2, Listen +3, Search +1, Sense Motive +4, Spellcraft +4, Spot +5; Craft Wondrous Item, Leadership, Power Attack, Two-Weapon Fighting, Weapon Focus (longsword).

Cleric Spells Prepared (6/6/6/4/4/3; save DC 12 + spell level)

*Domain spells. Deity: Cambrinus. Domains: hearth (cast heroes feast 1/day), strength (bulls's strength 1/day)

FOCUS! I had coffee and some vegetarian chili at what appears to be a great lesbian enclave downtown at Jules' coffee house. Someone told me LaCrosse is becoming quite the lesbian mecca. I'm not surprised, considering the recreational opportunities, cheap real estate and good views. Lesbians like stuff like that. No gay boys to be seen, however, but I got more than a few good ganders at some burly bubbas over at the mall.

I am off to Hood River, Oregon and Mt. Hood and its environs for some snowboarding with my brother tomorrow. I'm not sure if I can snowboard for three days straight though, so I might have to campaign for a trip into Porland for some urban fun. Back into DC on the 30th, and that damn lazy roomate better have that bathroom cleaned and the toilet fixed when I get back!

Posted by jimbo at 5:18 PM | Comments (4)

hunting wild boars, bored

what a lot of men here look like.  Can you see Jesus in the camo pattern on this guy?Eeek! Wild swine in the county south of us here in LaCrosse! Big hairy wild boars with tusks! Kinda like The DC Eagle but tastier and they do more damage to crops, not cops.

There was an interesting article in the infamous Opinion section (no link yet, will add soon) of the local paper this morning about a parent of a gay person who had the same concerns Bob had in a recent entry. That is, that all this anti-gay meanness and vitrol has an effect on the minds of gay youth. I'll sign up when crushing happiness and snuffing out individuality truly becomes a Christ-like act.

Can you tell I've been a bit bored out here on the steppe? Three-dozen or so blog entries so far, and desperate cell phone calls to Gurl and Chrisafer. Chatting with EarlGurl and the now-woofy bearded Fitz via videophone was cool. Mom's computer is pretty up to date to be able to do that. Off to the mall to cruise cute burly blond Scandinavian boys in Trebark® camo clothing. Wuuuuf.

Posted by jimbo at 11:20 AM | Comments (1)

December 25, 2004

super size woof

Found: Bad scan of a shirtless Morgan Spurlock from lileks.com
Opinion: That's hot.
Mission: Find or make a better resolution scan of pic from Entertainment Weekly, possibly still on the newsstands. Must go to newstand NOW (cuz good lord there's NOTHING else to do today!

with or without the burger tummy, I'd do him
I really, really need to get out of the house tomorrow.

Posted by jimbo at 6:53 PM | Comments (3)

the ghetto tree

ghettotree.jpgThe Ghetto Tree
by Jimbo

Ghetto Tree, oh Ghetto tree
Like a sentry over 5th and T

Your boughs are fake
Your ornaments cheap

For trees in this city
We cannot reap

Da girls on da corner
They ho ho hos

You better be good
Cuz Santa knows

Step swiftly now
And quickly pass

Or the dealers on the corner
Will pop a cap in your ass

For now all is quiet
No crack we can see

It's another holiday season
In da 'hood of DC

Posted by jimbo at 11:02 AM | Comments (3)

the bad uncle

Christmas services were packed at the 9pm session last night, mostly due to everyone watching The Game earlier when they could have gone to church. The Game was the Minnesota Vikings vs. The Green Bay Packers, of course, a most blessed event in this area. The Packers won, by the way.

Church was so crowded my 8 year-old nephew had to sit on my lap. The services quickly got boring, so I stirred things up a bit by telling him to bring his ear close to my mouth, where I whispered:

"diarrhea."

Diarrhea is a word guaranteed to make any 8-12 year-old giggle uncontrollably, and this time was no exception. His 10 year-old sister saw the hijinks from behind us, and moved forward from the pew behind to ask what was so funny. I motioned for her to come closer, where I whispered:

"diarrhea."

Diarrhea doesn't have as strong of an effect on girls as it does to boys, but she still giggled against her will. People were looking crossly over their shoulders at us by that point. My neice's father leaned over to ask her what was so funny, so my niece whispered in his ear:

"diarrhea."

And he laughed too. Later on I told my nephew his grandmother farted. Mom wondered out loud as to whether or not Mary was a lesbian as the pastor was telling the story of Jesus. My brother was telling his kids how not to burn their hands with wax by demonstrating exactly how you can burn your hands with the candle wax. I guess we were all a bit squirrelly from the Christmas candy.

Posted by jimbo at 3:50 AM

December 24, 2004

my favreite green bay packer

The jury is still out on whether or not I agree with Kevin about Favre's new buzzcut:
scruff=woof.  is he preparing himself for jimbo in this picture?
I kinda liked him better with hair:
scruff=woof
Critique and opinion in the comments section! Favre: buzzcut or flopsy-mop? Discuss. Regardless, his scruff remains, and it's always so frikkin' hot.

Went to the local Valley View Mall today to pick up a few things, and was yet again reminded as to why I like big, scruffy, burly blonde boys. It's because that's what I grew up seeing in front of me all the time. Lots of camo ballcaps, Carhartt jackets....grrrrrWOOOF! The honey pot is surely on fire, despite the cold weather. I even saw my old wrestling coach, who ain't lookin' too bad himself...

Here's what I wrote to submit to the opinion section of the local paper:

Homo for the Holidays

While home celebrating Christmas in the LaCrosse area with my family, I've been alarmed and disheartened by the almost daily anti-gay views featured in the Opinion section of the Lacrosse Tribune. What has happened here while I've been away? I recall growing up with a more "live and let live" attitude in this region, rather than this judgmental environment of righteous castigation.

I am guessing many here believe they've been given the green light by the man in the White House and his party to identify and attack whatever groups necessary in order to avoid greater issues such as the economy, war or health care. It's called scapegoating, a common and simple tool used by politicians. Just keep in mind, Ms. Peaslee, that your opinion has been featured in web logs on both the west and east coasts as an example of intolerance in Middle America. You've gobbled up what Mr. Rove has fed you quite well, and your righteous tummy is showing.

Mr. Griffing implies in his piece from Friday that I am evil. While I am a gay person originally from this area, I am pretty sure I am not evil. I do not wake up every morning plotting the destruction of heterosexual marriages. I was raised Lutheran, and remain a person of faith. I do not busy myself by gnawing at the foundations of civilization. I pay taxes, I love batterfried cheese curds, and I care deeply about the fate of this country and its people. To be called evil and to be told that I am here to destroy society hurts my feelings. Mr. Griffing and Ms. Peaslee: you are big meanies, and you have also been duped by powers outside of this region to view me as an actual threat to your lives.

Gay people just want to share the same joys, misery and challenges that straight people face every day, without having to be hushed by a righteous majority. We are not asking for much.

by Jim Bo, Washington, D.C.

Posted by jimbo at 6:37 PM | Comments (5)

trustysidekicks.com

So every day I've seen an anti-gay editorial in the local paper, the LaCrosse Tribune. I even remember coming across a west coast blogger taking quotes from this paper's editorial section, they are so outrageous. The things I'm reading here are very disheartening. Today's gem, entitled "Don't Be Quiet About Evil" includes a comment about homos, thus equating homos with evil. People around here don't get out much. It's startin' to make me MAD! Don't get me angry, Mr. McGhee...you wouldn't like it when I'm angry. I start writing editorials.

Speaking of superheroes, check out TrustySidekicks.com, a superhero fansite project by PJ and Sparky. If you are gay and are currently or were ever a comic book geek, you will love this site. And I know these two geeks and they Are The Authoritay! Even if you haven't cracked the spine of a comic (thus turning it from 'mint' to 'good' condition) in a while, it's worth a read just for the design.

Posted by jimbo at 11:04 AM | Comments (6)

December 23, 2004

hot bloggers from LaCrosse

He's cute, he's scruffy, he's a gay blogger originally from Western Wisconsin. Now how hot is that? I was born in LaCrosse too. Yo Dunner, let's have a gay blogmeet on 3rd Street sometime this week, party of two. Or whatever. Are you in the area now?

It's cold here, like -16 tonight, -24 with windchill. Shocking coming from a humid 60 back in DC. It's so cold your fingers are sore when you come in out of it. But there is snow, which is good. Despite the winter storms, I somehow got into Minneapolis just fine, but my jumper plane to LaCrosse broke and somewhere in the transfer to my new plane my luggage was lost but it came in by bus an hour later. Lots of big, blond woofers in Minneapolis airport, which is always a treat. They are everywhere here!

There are foam cheesehead hats in the LaCrosse International terminal gift shop. But no beer attachments.
save me Obi-Wan, you are our only hope
Bored with the family? Surf these sites for HOURS:
- Gr8BigHair.com (Princess Leia is my favorite, pictured above)
- MetroSexual Tarot (Mighty Jimbo take note)

Posted by jimbo at 6:43 PM | Comments (7)

off to the tundra

Yo, I'm off to Wisconsin today via National Airport. Let's hope for clearer skies than what the weatherman predicts. Off to Portland/Mt.Hood for some snowboarding with my brother on the 27th, then back to DC on the 30th. My birthday is on the 28th, and I'll be gettin' closer to Daddylicious age at 34. Wuuuf. Fun but subdued New Year's Eve at Logan Tavern with the other old folks. None of this clubby stuff to bring in the New Year for this old man. My back hurts.

Not sure I'll blog much, but I'm sure some fun stories will come up. One of my coworkers put me on a mission to find her a dual-action foam cheesehead hat rigged with beer cooler mounts on top with tube attachments. A noble task indeed.

Posted by jimbo at 12:37 AM | Comments (7)

December 22, 2004

busted!

Danggit...some meddling kid was gossiping around town and did the he said she said thing regarding an entry I wrote a while back about a particularly dreamy scruffy neighbor of mine. I shouldn't be surprised, as this has happened before - DC is a small town. I usually try not to name names but this one slipped. So said dreamy neighbor called me last night to confirm the gossip. Now, I didn't write that entry to get a phone call from said dreamy neighbor, but hey, what the hell. I only write the truth, or my perception thereof. >; )

I visited the Shaw EcoVillage office to do some volunteer web work at my friend Travis' suggesion. Boy oh boy does that site need help. They designed and maintain it with Microsoft Publisher - that's all I need to say about that. MICROSOFT PRODUCTS ARE NEVER, EVER A SOLUTION FOR WEB SITE MAINTENANCE OR DESIGN! The code was unintelligible, wieldy garbage, and the PR person there was paralyzed from doing anything practical with the site with such a crappy tool. But she has been supplied with Macromedia Dreamweaver MX thank CSS, and I'll be teaching her how to use it. The FTP and site manager is already set up...all I gotta do is finish up the page template redesigns and she'll be an Independent Woman.

And aww gee thanks everybody for offering or sending stuff...the Holiday Wish List was really just for Mom and local friends to get an idea or two, but if y'all insist on shipping stuff from the 4 corners of this God-Fearing Country go right ahead. Multiple xxoo's to Torgonus, joebsf and super-hot Steve from SF. Steve, imagine the two of us at Lake Tahoe, the water sparkling off the reflection of the full moon, us bundled up in our parkas waxing our snowboards together, stopping for a tender moment to rub noses...

When I got home last night I found that some other fish had released babies into the water. The last time the fecund culprit could have been Large Marge the swordtail. Except this time she was dead, so it couldn't have been her. So the new babies must all be guppies, as Pee Wee, Large Marge's partner, has no one to knock up since Large Marge was found floating dead on the surface last week. She was three years old, which is ancient for a swordtail. May she rest in peace. Anyway, it is obvious Gary Evangelista, the male guppy, has been a busy boy with his trio of guppie bitches Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle. I'm glad someone is getting some action in my bedroom. Other members of my aquatic sex club include Hoover the algae eater and Mr. Snuffles the corydora catfish.

Posted by jimbo at 8:54 AM | Comments (3)

December 21, 2004

never trust blind cross-dressing geisha

I went to see House of Flying Daggers last night with my buddy Shane. The fighting and visuals were cool but the romantic and plot twists just went on and on and on...but you must always remember that in the wuxia* genre you should never trust a.) anyone who is blind; b.) gorgeous geisha; c.) cross-dressers. All of them are double-dealing ninja.

* Wuxia as a storytelling genre draws from Chinese mythology and the more esoteric aspects of martial arts. It usually chronicles the exploits of heroic knights who fight to uphold justice in a mythical realm where powerful clans of heroes and villains dominate society and vie for control of the "martial world." Common elements to these stories include swordplay, flying, magic, weapons infused with special properties, and elaborate lairs or traps.

(In other words, wuxia is a Chinese version of Dungeons and Dragons. That's hot.)

This is about the right square footage for an affordable home in The District for a person with an income like mine.

OK, who genetically engineered the perfect man for jimbo? I thank you for it. Jeezus H. Crimeny Jiggers that guy is hot.

Posted by jimbo at 9:30 AM | Comments (10)

December 20, 2004

would you let your child go there?

welcome to neverland!
michael jackson-creature
Nothing much to say today, other than if Americans vote for Bush twice in a row and let their kids go play at Michael's house, we're pretty dumb.

It snowed last night, but the ground wasn't flash frozen yet so it didn't stick. I would like a big fat snowstorm around here. I leave for Wisconsin, Hood River, Mt. Hood on Thursday.

I saw this cutie pie on the metro platform this morning. He so cute!

How come you have to practically be a model to be in country music these days? Dayum they're hot these days. WOOF!

Posted by jimbo at 2:20 PM | Comments (5)

December 17, 2004

holiday/birthday wish list

So like Gurl mentioned once how useful a holiday wish list was when her blogger friends posted one. Who am I not to comply with such a practical and efficient suggestion?

Posted by jimbo at 8:21 AM | Comments (10)

December 16, 2004

what's wrong with this picture?

Ooooh, I think I've discovered a new pet peeve...when online forms omit 'DC' from their address form fields! Mom said I got a letter from LaCrosse County for jury summons back home in Wisconsin. I went online to say "hell no", but could not complete the form, because the District of Columbia does not exist. Take this to heart, advocates for DC statehood - they don't even know what DC is, much less that its residents are taxed without representation. Sorta like The Gays, but generally a surlier bunch. And no, the acronym could not be found near 'Washington' either.
insufficient entry form

Posted by jimbo at 5:08 PM | Comments (6)

sobering news about jenna

HA HA! Jenna Bush has applied for a teaching job - in Columbia Heights! That'll sober her up right quick. Now taking bets on how long that will last. Winner gets a free week of guest blogging here on jimbo.info, and I'll take you out for dinner (at a reasonably priced restaurant).

Posted by jimbo at 4:55 PM | Comments (12)

ben browder is back

Paladin of the Order of the Silver Sluts.

In Other Geek News:
SCI FI Channel confirmed that super-dreamy Farscape star Ben Browder will join the cast of SCI FI's original series Stargate SG-1. Browder will join the cast in the show's upcoming ninth season; no information on Browder's role was available. Meanwhile, the show's producer, MGM, is still working on a deal to bring back SG-1 star Richard Dean Anderson (Gen. O'Neill) in some capacity.

SG-1 will air the remaining new eighth-season episodes, starting Jan. 21, 2005, in a new Friday 8 p.m. ET/PT timeslot, followed by the new episodes of Stargate Atlantis at 9 p.m. and the new original series Battlestar Galactica at 10 p.m.

GEEK PARTY AT GURL'S HOUSE EVERY FRIDAY!!! Bring whiskey.

Posted by jimbo at 2:25 PM | Comments (8)

December 15, 2004

666

I was finally out of the closet by my second summer working in Alaska in 1993. I had advanced my career to match my newfound orientation and was a ferry naturalist, i.e. a guy that gives nature programs aboard a ferry boat. However, there wasn't much of an outlet in Homer for gay people, a small halibut fishing community on the coast. Homer is very crunchy with lots of ex-hippies and plenty of lesbians, but very few gay men.

So about once every month I would hitchhike a 5 hour trip north along the Sterling Highway to Anchorage to get out to the gay bar. On the way I met numerous interesting personalities, like the guy with his dentures floating in a tupperware container on the dashboard, the 5 drunk Eskimos (I thought I was going to die), and the creepy woman with the daschund nestled eerily in the passenger seat. That woman and her dog freaked me out.

Anyway, if I didn't end up hooking up at The Raven, I would stay at a nearby youth hostel, where you would never get much sleep. The Raven was and still is the most diverse gay bar I've ever seen. In DC, bars are generally segregated by social class within the caucasian gay male subculture. Forget about ever seeing a lesbian. The Raven had lesbians, drag queens, leather queens, military guys, Phillipinos, Aleuts, Eskimos, African Americans and more all under one roof, since it was the only place to go.

I spotted one guy from across the room blah blah blah and we went to his hotel room. It was good to not have to stay at the hostel. He was kinda cute with brown hair, wholesome, and of course there was the promise of at least a little chest fur. He told me he was on a Christian mission teaching elementary school in the interior north of Anchorage, and was in town for a conference.

Throughout our whole encounter, he muttered here and there about struggling with his sexuality, and wether or not he wanted to have sex with a guy, but it seemed pretty obvious to me he wanted to go there from the start. He seemed to be joyfully wallowing in the conflict and guilt he was generating for himself. Whatever, Connie Conflicted. Regardless, I wanted to see him with his shirt off and fast. When we finally got around to gettin' nekked, I noticed a large, hairy, brown birthmark on his back about the size of a beer coaster. Considering the obvious moral conflict he was going through, perhaps it was capricious and insensitive of me to say, "What is that, the Mark Of The Beast?" with a snicker.

His eyes widened and he blurted out, "DON'T SAY THAT!" It took a while for him to come down from that, and I felt kinda bad for saying something that hit home so hard. I still wonder if he ever got around to dealing with his faith and sexuality, and that big birthmark on his back.

Posted by jimbo at 10:31 AM | Comments (6)

December 14, 2004

st. olaf represents

A hometown friend of mine is in town for a conference, so me and another high school friend met up with him for dinner. A classmate of ours died recently in an auto accident, so Ann wanted to meet up and reminisce. It was good to see both of them, gossip and catch up. Ann is naturally platinum blonde, Trav is copper red, and with my sandy blonde hair we all looked like the Aryan dream. But everyone looks like that where we are from. In fact, both Ann and Trav are St. Olaf grads, where all the good Norwegian kids go to school. Tonight we are meeting up at Union Station for a rockin' Norwegian christmas. They have trains and Norwegian stuff there every year, so it should be fun.

Posted by jimbo at 11:43 AM | Comments (2)

December 13, 2004

the ryan reynolds workout

nummy nummy yummy ryan"while eating a protein carb mix every 2 hours all day, i'd wind up having about 8 - 10 "tiny" meals instead of 3 big meals over the course of a day. no carbs at night, but plenty during the day. (the "no carbs ever" fad is bullshit in my opinion. and a great way to turn into a cranky fucker nobody wants to be around) this kind of diet kept my blood sugar even and gave me the requisite energy needed for the physicality of the role...

my trainer (and Jesse Biel's) was a guy named Darren Chapman. he's one of the most inspiring individuals i've ever met. a member of the UK's olympic bobsled team, he's as adept at the nutritional training as he is the physical training. also, a great guy that doesn't mind me calling him every swear word ever heard in any language. i think i may have even called him a 'bastard' in elvish. trainers are used to it. he showed me how important the process of visualizatio! n is. visualizing the transformation i had to make--i believe was key to making it happen. with this information, i began training as though preparing for the olympics...

workouts were about 2-3 hours. generally starting off with around 500 - 1000 sit-ups. then heavy weights for bulk. i'm a pretty scrawny guy so we cut cardio entirely and just focused on bulking up. weight training involved a variety of excercises too numerous to mention at reps of about 8-12, for 6 days a week. after the first week i was longing for the sweet release of death, but soon enough got really into it.

the main thing i learned about this whole process is how important food is. transforming your body quickly is a genetic ability, but can also be traumatic. eating properly is 80% of the equation. most people think it's the other way around."

Posted by jimbo at 12:20 PM | Comments (6)

I can pee clearly now

It seemed to have rained all last week, and Friday found me brain dead and exhausted. I shouldn't have even bothered to have a workout, it was so uninspired and weak. Apparently I was one of the few to wander out in public, as I could not rouse anyone to join me for a 1/2 price burger at Roids 'R Us (Credit to Homer for the naming inspiration), otherwise known as Results, The Gym over on U St.

Saturday: yet more fucking rain. Stayed in all day and did little other than rid myself of bush. It was cathartic. I can pee clearly now the fur is gone. I can spray all obstacles in my way. I did manage to get out to Blowoff for a few drinks and socialization. Saw the usual crowd, but left when the usual bellyrubbing began amongst the proto- and post-bear crowd.

But I swear on my Mother's 40 oz. of Wiedemann's that I spotted a particularly handsome former blogger zipping through the Blowoff crowds at high speed. Looked like he came in from the upstairs, mistakenly entering up there not knowing blowoff was down around the corner at the backbar, and was doing a cursory cruise of the place. Said former blogger's bigmuscle.com profile says he now lives in DC, but while I was once in occasional rapport with said blogger, all communications have been silent of late (as in like no response...the nerve!). Now I'm not 100% sure its the particular former blogger I'm thinking of, but I'm pretty darn sure, as I recognize people from 2-D images pretty well. I'd be popular as a CIA agent. "Now Jimbo, here is your mission...find the guy who poisoned Yushchenko from these photographs, and bring him back to us. Use extreme prejudice if necessary..."

I got my ass outta the house during the day on Sunday to have a very nice brunch at Lauriol Plaze with Gurl and Mark and his partner Brian. Tonight I'm meeting up with some hometown high school friends for dinner, then workin' on the Mother of All Papers.

Posted by jimbo at 10:30 AM

December 10, 2004

blade III

If you are going to ressurect Dracula for the 2,491st time in movie history, please make him scary. Sure, Dominic Purcell as Dracula was a super-hottie rivaling Ryan Reynolds' hotness in the movie, but as the bad guy his hotness in human form overshadowed his scariness. Again, all vampires dress very well and have lots of good property and excellent taste in decor. What is it with the undead and style?

I thought the storyline was just kinda blah, even for an action film. I felt like the only things saving the movie were Reynold's wisecracks (a riot every time), Parker Posey's continual sneer, the vampire pomeranian, and a few new cool vampire hunting weapons such as the UV vampire cutter. Oh, Dracula kicking the asses of the goth vampire wannabes was good. But Blade II was a lot better.

I'm excited to see my hometown friends Trav and Ann next week. Travis is in town from Madison for a conference, and Ann lives in the area wanted to get together and chat, so we're all meeting somewhere around P Street. No, I will not take them to Omega. This must be the month to renew old friendships, as I met up with an old college class/dorm mate last week to catch up too. I guess it's a good thing as a rather alarming number of current DC friends have been A.W.O.L. of late. Is this cell phone on? I guess it is worthwhile to maintain friendships as it is very pleasant to catch up with old friends.

Posted by jimbo at 10:54 AM | Comments (2)

December 9, 2004

horton hears a queer

What is that you say, a small tiny gay?What did I say, back in tha day?
Why do they say they not cool with The Gay?
It's that they don't know us. Not her, me, or you.
Listen to Jimbo. Do as I say and as I do.

HRC is now parroting the Barrett: "We need to reintroduce ourselves to America with the stories of our lives," said Michael Berman, a Democratic lobbyist and consultant who was elected the first non-gay co-chairman of the Human Rights Campaign's board last week. Clearly they are changing their failed strategy of being a big messy bottom to the political lobbying system and working at a much more basic level to increase awareness of who we are, just like Jimbo said. My belief is based on the Tbilisi Principles of environmental education (see point 5 for more info) which can be summarized as follows:

  1. Awareness: Help the people acquire an awareness and sensitivity to the issue and its problems
  2. Knowledge: Help the people acquire a basic understanding of how the gays function and how issues and problems dealing with the gays arise and how they can be resolved
  3. Attitudes: Help the people acquire a set of values and feeling of concern for the gays and the motivation and commitment to participate in queer maintenance and improvement
  4. Skills: Help the people acquire the skills needed to identify, investigate and contribute to the resolution of queer problems and issues
  5. Participation: Help the people acquire experience in using their knowledge and skills in taking thoughtful, positive action toward the resolution of queer problems and issues.


  6. In the above cases, I substituted the phrase 'environment' with 'the gays', and the word 'students' with 'the people'. I believe the same principles apply to social movements as they do with education. I've seen it work in real situations, time and time again.

Back in college, it was clear that the activist activities of our gay/lez/bi/whatever group (#3 on the above scale) was just turning the student body off to the issue. We were jumping the gun on our expectations of people's tolerance to our issue. We went back to the Awareness (#1) on the scale, where it was most needed. People were much more receptive to an exhaustive campus-wide campaign of Q&A panels offered as a canned program to the dorm resident assistants and tenants, than to doing campus protests or an ineffective 'Jeans Day'. In the end, we got a gay and lesbian man and woman voted for homecoming queen and king, respectively. We did this with a team of maybe a dozen queers. And this was in the mid-90s in Wisconsin.

As another example, the WTO protesters are beyond the Awareness stage. We are aware there is a problem with globalization, but now what? They need to stop wrecking shit downtown and start telling us what the issues are (Knowledge stage, #2). I really want to know, but I am turned off by them wrecking shit. I have ceased to be receptive to their calls of alarm about the issue, even though I may agree with what they are saying. I am needing to know more.

Even my own mom, who reads this blog regularly enough to know better, (probably enough to make her ears bleed) has a few misconceptions about The Gays that need correction, calling for a return to simple Awareness-raising. Mommie Dearest, I spend far more time holed up in my room these days being a CivIII computer game addict than I do going out, drinking it up and bringing back the old meaning to the adjective 'gay'. Most gays are quite boring and domestic, it's just that when we do have fun we know very well how to do it. Regardless, the public generally links homosexuals to Old Testament hedonistic Sodomites who are just itching to be smitten by a pillar of holy flame. While we know we need equal footing under the law, and damn well deserve it. The rest of the public is willing to go along with what the Crazy Christians think God said should be done. There's a lot of Awareness-building that needs to be done to correct that belief.

Posted by jimbo at 12:48 PM | Comments (5)

December 8, 2004

more creepy kooky christian crap

Look for national parks' geology to be written more in the image of creationists over the next four years in the continuing effort to create "faith-based parks." An ongoing dispute at Grand Canyon National Park bookstores is that Grand Canyon, a Different View was ordered to stay on the bookshelves by top NPS brass. The book says that the Grand Canyon is 4,500 years old and was formed by Noah's flood. Conventional scientific wisdom has the canyon more around 6 million years old, still rather young compared to the age of the Earth. Despite protests from scientists and the Grand Canyon Park superintendent, the book has stayed on the shelves. The Bush administration said it would review the policy, but the review hasn't even been started since the February complaint. NPS has also ordered bronze plaques with verses from Psalms placed at canyon overlooks, truly emphasizing what a Judeo-Christian religious experience the view can be.

And to hell with a Bhuddist view of creation, or whatever religion. What makes this double-creepy is that the orders to keep the creationist view of how the Grand Canyon originates from the HQ right here in DC. Christian views are being supported by the government in this supposedly secular country that separates church from state. Creepy.

Posted by jimbo at 4:22 PM | Comments (9)

damn elfs

Yesterday my research question for The Mother of All Presenations for my latest graduate coursework was to be something like, "What has happened to the 'Environmental Decade' of the 90's?" or "So what's up? Why was there not a peep about the enviornment during the Presidential debates, and in political discourse past the year 2000?"

So then the morning of my presentation my thesis gets blown out of the water by morning news about a bunch of frikkin' ELFs. Thanks guys. So I had to reword my thesis by that afternoon for class. The environmental movement is alive, kickin and flamed up for sure, it's just got a very radical bent right now, and is not mainstream at all. I changed my thesis question to "How can the moderate factions of the environmental movement improve their rhetoric to reinvigorate their cause?" I didn't have to tweak the presentation too much, however.

This morning I served on a search committee for a position in our school. VERY interesting learning experience. Damn, I wish I could have done something like that before I went on a 2 year job search. I learned a lot about going through resumes, crap that I didn't believe until today. Like keep the resume to 1 page (I don't have the time to read your damn job history), keep the cover letter brief (same reasons as above), put your name on the cover letter (duh!), and directly address the job requirements in your resume. Many of these things seem simple, but amazing how it affects the attitudes of those looking at your resume. Just keep in mind that the people going through your resume are busy, tired, and they've already been through 10 before yours. Save their time and keep it brief, direct and well-written.

Ohimigawd, Bubbles and I went to Target after lunch to 'just pick a few things up' and both walked out with armfuls of holiday gear. Two fags go shopping! While I already bought wrapping paper last weekend, the ENTIRE LANE full of wrapping paper was just too cute to reist. FABULOUS patterns and styles. If you can't find a cute wrapping paper style there, there is something wrong with you.

Posted by jimbo at 2:40 PM

December 7, 2004

bright sunshiney day

While it is rainy drizzly grey here in DC today, I can see all obstacles in my way. There is the rainbow I've been waiting for. It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiney day. It doesn't hurt that as I walk down the hall to my office, there are three fit rugged scruffy buzzcut blue collar workers on ladders replacing the light fixtures, their beefy asses at eye and munching level. Good morning beefy butts! That and my scruffy Matthew Fox wallpaper greets me on my desktop every morning. Good morning Mr. Foxy Fox! And I'm gonna see Ryan Reynold's hot abs that are like giant raviolis on Thursday at the fabulous new Gurllery Place theatres.

Oh, and I finally got ahold of that Scott Bolton CD I was woofing about a while back on here. Not only is he a hunkasaurus, but many of the tracks on Set Me Free are very fun and uplifting, notably his covers of "I Can See Clearly Now" and "I Could Not Ask For More". Nothing really revolutionary on the CD, just basic dance tracks that bring you back to the day (1999?) when dance music had intelligible lyrics, harmonies in the major scale, and positive messages, as opposed to the evil klinky klanky meth-inspired crap they play today. Let's hope some of Scott's tracks make it to the charts.

Posted by jimbo at 10:36 AM | Comments (6)

December 6, 2004

changing governments

So like last night Taint was very fun. They played like half the Scissor Sisters album, including Filthy Gorgeous, and like lots of 80s and 90s good stuff, not the shitty 80s stuff they put on compilation albums or play at Nation. I danced with Dreamy Scruffy Hairy Chested Neighbor Mark Also From Wisconsin Bring Home to Mom for the Holidays for a While sorta guy. swoon. He's sooo dreamy. I chilled with Bob in a booth. I bumped asses with a Beaverhausen and Brian. Someone claims he has more juicy Ryan Reynolds soft core beard shirtless porn than I do. HA! Whutever, you neophyte fur porn collector. Chrisafer's boyfriend Bubbles spilled my gin and tonic, but then she bought me like 3 more so it's totally OK. Dan works across the A&F football field from me, and we were like chatting, and he says to me: "So you don't really dress up for work, do you?" and I said in shock, "What?! A collared polo shirt is dressing up, isn't it?"

A bunch of us migrated there after our D&D session, which happened to be at Chrisafer's house. His partner Bubbles plays a telepathic psion in our group. We changed our style of governing gaming sessions from pure Despotism (me) to a Constitutional Monarchy, with appointed cabinet positions. Positions are as follows:

The system seems to be working out, as we have been focused and I have been less frustrated. I was taking on too much responsibility in the past and it was making me cranky.

I have been watching the Ukraine protests on the news, and I'll have to say I admire their spirit. How come we don't get riled up like that anymore? When we get a shitty president, or have been lied to by our government (blatantly, more often than not) we just sort of sit there on our Lay-Z-Boy chairs and bitch about it but don't really hit the streets anymore. Who stole the soul?

Speaking of blatant lies and deception, the U.S. Army tried to put a heroic spin on the sensless death of hunky ex-football guy Pat Tillman. Turns out it was friendly fire that killed him. They tried to spin it as him going down in a blaze of glory, knowing full well the truth would not make their efforts look so good. More lies, more lies, from this shitty government. Our Golden Age Is Over.

Posted by jimbo at 11:40 AM | Comments (3)

December 3, 2004

you, you, and you, but not you

Awesome United Church of Christ ad, banned from NBC and CBS I might add, for being "too controversial". Too controversial meaning it alludes to acceptance of same-sex couples, following an election season rife with poisonous political commentary on political ads.

I don't get the comma theme in their branding though. Can some marketing queen explain this to me? If the branding fails on me, that's not a good sign.

And did anyone watch The Real Gilligan's Island? First off, there's only one cute castaway left, so the show is doomed in this shallow age of lust (yes, I'm guilty of it too). The gay professor who got kicked off was kinda cute, but did you hear all the nasty things the bitchy billionaire couple said about being on the island with one of those gay people? Nasty, nasty times we live in.

Posted by jimbo at 10:41 AM | Comments (8)

December 2, 2004

wednesday night is TV night

OK, I had such a good time last night watching TV that Wednesday shall be 'TV Night' from here on in, at least until they rearrange the schedule:

Don't forget, Rudolph and the Island of Lost Toys is on at 9pm tonight!

Posted by jimbo at 10:21 AM | Comments (5)