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September 30, 2004

banned list

Added to my banned list: use of the name "Cody" as your gay porn star name or as your fake name for your bigmuscle.com profile. No gay man may ever use that name again, either as your first OR your last name. Ever.

For that matter, no trailer park mama may name her little redneck child "Cody" either. Whether he is gay or straight.

Same goes for the variant "Coby" in either case as well.

Posted by jimbo at 3:04 PM | Comments (24)

the washington monuments

Yee haw! DC gets the Montreal Expos! This is a sport I may actually go to see. I often go up with Fitz to watch the Orioles play a few times a year. I'm more about the baseball experience rather than the sport. OK, the woofy baseball players too. Considering it may be a short trip on the Green Line from where I currently live, that would be cool.

Now all this crazy talk jibber-jabber about what to name them has come up. Mayor Williams wants to name them after a historic African American baseball team called the Grays. I like the historic link, but Gray is, well, really boring. I think the Expos is just fine, since DC hosts so many expos and conferences. I also suggest The Washington Monuments, where our mascot could be this tough-looking stone colossus. Wait! Howabout using another tough, survivor mascot: the Snakeheads! Or perhaps the Washington Swamp Rats?

Just as long as they don't name them the Ronald Reagan Washington Nationals Baseball Team.

Posted by jimbo at 1:36 PM | Comments (6)

September 29, 2004

catania splits

Well this is a bright moment during dark times: D.C. Council member David Catania said he will make his break from the Republican Party official today, due much in part to Bush and the Republican Party's aggressively anti-gay stance. He was definitely old-school Republican as Garrison Keillor described it:

"Once, it was the party of pragmatic Main Street businessmen in steel-rimmed spectacles who decried profligacy and waste, were devoted to their communities, and supported the sort of prosperity that raises all ships."

If you watch the city public access channels which run council hearings all the time, you might call it the David Catania Channel, since he's always on camera grilling someone over their budget, which he had seemingly memorized the night before. He's always promoting accountability and getting the most from the public's tax dollar, which I cannot disagree with at all.

He's now declaring himself an Independent. Again, I admire his stance and willingness to admit that the party he once called his own has changed beyond his moral ability to compromise.

Posted by jimbo at 3:06 PM | Comments (5)

September 28, 2004

a guide to springfield

Still sicky and jacked up on decongestants. No creativity whatsoever.

Thus, I give you the Guide to Springfield USA, an exhaustive mapping of every single business and residence in the Simpson's hometown.

Posted by jimbo at 2:32 PM | Comments (8)

September 27, 2004

cap'n crunch comfort

Ugh. My cold/flu/whatever got worse last night as the evening progressed. When the chills came I added a comforter, which led to alternating sweats and chills for the rest of the night. I produced a substantial pile of slimy kleenex, and my head still pounds. The fever gave me freaky anxiety dreams and nightmares, thirsty and hungry and not hungry throughout the night. Eat and feel nauseous, or not eat and feel hungry? Cap'n Crunch got me through the night. I'm at home today, I guess it's a reading day for class.

Posted by jimbo at 12:39 PM | Comments (11)

September 26, 2004

weekend recap

Overheard at a conversation after our D&D session tonight:

Bubbles: "Most blogs do pretty good job talking about cultural phenomena."
Jimbo "Not mine! All I do is bitch about people!"

Recap from the week, starting now. I have a cold and a sore throat. Kinda tripping on cold medicine at the moment, low grade fevers and I'm chilly. I'm sorry to anyone I gave my cold to last night at Blowoff, where I was a tad frisky and stuck my tounge down a couple throats, possibly inoculating you. It was fun though, as I hadn't been out dancing in a while, and all the tunes sounded like hi-NRG Duran Duran remixes, which was cool. Chrisafer and John were there, and of course our lovely hosts Bob and Rich. I spotted Logancircle John a few times but my logic said he shouldn't be in DC, so I wasn't sure. I even got to squeeze Waremouse's massive biceps!

This morning I had a nice brunch date with a very woofy 38 year old scruffy guy, and we might go to a movie later in the week. Friday I went to dinner with a different guy, this time 29, also woofy with a nice schnoz to boot. Not so sure how that one went, but we'll see.

We had a rugby match on Saturday, supposedly against a "C"-side that's in our division, but they regularly field 'roided up A-side players to make sure they beat us. However, our team played ferociously and with lots of heart, and it was fun to watch.

So like my roomate/landlord is, umm..."dating" with unusual frequency of late. I'm glad for her, but today's guest arrived on a frikkin' monster Harley-Davidson motorcycle, riding boots, salt-and-pepper flattop. WOOF! On my way outta the house I notice military stickers on his ride. I'M supposed to be the one dating that type, not her! She better lock her door at night, cuz I'm gonna scratch her eyeballs out for that one.

Posted by jimbo at 8:46 PM | Comments (3)

September 23, 2004

marie got me wasted on a wednesday night

So in order to expand my group of 'hot' circle jerk friends, I went out to Halo last night with Marie from In Shaw and other blogs. Again, we LOVE the smoke-free environment! We had a nice chat over cosmos and mojitos and irish creme something drinks, and were even blessed by the 'boo for a short visit. We had nice chat about the dialectics of bloggers vs. their blogs, and our crazy career paths that led us to a university environment. She works at UMD too, but is pretty much on the other side of campus, so it's actually easier for us to meet up in DC.

Yesterday I went to get my annual HIV test at the campus health center. I try to go twice a year, but just haven't had the time so it's been almost a year. I didn't have much to worry about, but it was time. I still marvel at the quick test they have now, as opposed to the agonizing 6 day wait that one had to endure back inna day. That always sucked.

So I'm sitting there in the waiting room, reading the literature that was handed to me as required by some law. I know the nurse is just doing her job, but honey, I could read these back to you by heart...I've heard the dog and pony show at least once a year since 1990.

Anyhow, I notice that the 'Making Sex Safer' brochure features a woman with severely crimped early 90's hair. Like Janet Jackson 'Control' hair, but blonde. Then I look over at the 'Safer Sex Guidelines for Gay Men' brochure, also featuring people with outdated hairdos, straight out of a Cameo or Menudo music video. I turn over the brochure to read the credits, noticing that it's last update was from 1991. Hmm...thanks. Most of the information inside is correct, but no mention is made in the brochure about crystal meth and other drugs, or recent trends in barebacking. Plus there is an UGLY-ass picture of the nastiest sphincter you have ever seen. Like enough to make anyone never toss salad again. Couldn't they have featured a picture of a nice, clean, rosy sphincter?

The whole brochure kinda confrimed what I've been noticing over the past decade or so...updates in information and education about HIV and AIDS have declined, or have become completely absent. You pretty much have to do the research yourself if you want to stay informed. And I remember a time when I never had to buy a condom, as they were in each and every bar and club one could go to. These days, I have to 'gasp!' BUY condoms in the store. And lube too! Heavens to Betsy.

Posted by jimbo at 11:26 AM | Comments (11)

September 22, 2004

hot bald scruffy baseball player with nice schnoz

Minnesota Twins' Corey Koskie
liquid cascading all over him...
I just had to share.

Posted by jimbo at 1:32 PM | Comments (5)

berdache jeans

I'm way too hard on myself sometimes, well, a lot of times. We had a presentation for my graduate communications class yesterday. I spent pretty much the three days before presentation day kvetching myself into a worried blob of curdling gel about it. I spent far more time and energy worrying, procrastinating and gnashing than I did on the actual paper. Then I pulled it together during three hours before the presentation. As far as I know, while it was a little short, the presentation was fine. Now that I know what the format is like, the next one (on GLBTwhatever marriage and social change) should be much easier and more complete. Plus I'll be more interested in the topic, as opposed to 'Creating a thesis that comments on a communication strategy during President Johnson's War on Poverty.'

There are a few people on the rugby team who could deliver criticism in a less patronizing fashion - especially during the heat of a match. It's almost as if they have learned nothing about communication since high school, as a few guys remind me of the short guys in high school P.E. class who had little penises and thus had to compensate by yelling at other people. Today they own SUV's. Anyway, what bugs me is that long before I get yelled at during practice or a match, I've already admonished myself three times that much, and far louder and even more patronizing, in my own head. External noise is redundant by that point. A politely delivered comment that the mistake has been recognized by others is all that's needed, as after 4 years of playing I do know what I'm doing wrong. But I'm often hard on myself then too.

I'm meetin' up for cocktails with Miss 'In Shaw' Marie at Halo tonight. Funny thing...yesterday an old friend from college had found my blog through hers. He e-mailed me out of the blue and I hope to meet up with him some time soon. I'll add him to the list of obscure, long-lost relatives, acquaintances and blasts from the past who have found me through my blog over the years: my half-sister from Fredericksburg, VA; my high school english teacher; and a real person named Leif Hanson from high school.

OhMiGawd! Like last night I got cruised on campus for the first time since I started working here a year ago! But this guy was kinda gross...bad hair and in bad shape, and he was being really obvious about it, whereas I prefer subtlety. Plus like there were people all over the place and his fly was down and he was diggin in his crotch all obvious and shit! Kinda icky in a 1970's cruisey sort of way. I get the hint honey, and this ain't the Castro Clone scene here at UMD. I did not go there and kept on walkin' just like Ce Ce. Then this morning I got cruised on the Metro subway by Swishes With Grace. She must have been returning from the new National Museum of the American Indian. Miss Two-Spirits had her Berdache jeans and Kenneth Cole shoes goin' on, and was looking quite stylish. My first time getting cruised by a native American too - two firsts in 24 hours I guess.

Posted by jimbo at 11:58 AM | Comments (13)

September 21, 2004

blogjam: oct. 24 @ DC9

blogjam
BLOGJAM: THE HOMO SPEAK

Readings by national queer bloggers
Music by BLOWOFF
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2004
8 PM - CLOSE
VENUE: DC9
1940 9TH ST NW, WDC
21 AND OVER
$6 COVER

Featured bloggers on deck as of today: Dogpoet, Geekslut, Chromewaves, Wonkette (honorary assfucker), JoeMyGod, Moi, VividBlurry, Morel, Waremouse, Chrisafer and MC Bob. And possibly even more, as of yet unconfirmed.

It'll sorta be like The W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G. Talent Show in NYC, but with hep MP3 music spun around afterwards, and ya won't have to leave to go socialize, you can just stay there and chill with the hipsters.

Posted by jimbo at 11:14 AM | Comments (14)

September 20, 2004

sky captain and the collagen crew

Went to see Sky Captain with Fitz yesterday. It was visually neat-o, but the characters were kinda blah. I liked the ending though, as it was not Hollywood cliche. Angelina Jolie is to be kept away from the collagen from this point on though - a line must be drawn somewhere.

While watching the film, I made up a list of rules if one must own a Secret Base:

- Every Secret Base will have a self-destruct sequence
- Every Secret Base will be guarded by dumb or mindless minions
- ...BUT, every Secret Base, even if owned by a gay male villain, will be guarded by at least one hot chick who knows kung fu
- Restrooms need not be visible in your Secret Base
- Every Secret Base will have a Study, with bookshelves holding books that are impossibly high up, and probably too heavy to be lifted by Secret Base owner. The Study should be dusty.

After the movie I went to Best Buy to consider buying an iPod as Fitz and the Pod People have been speaking so highly of them. After looking at the price tag, I'll have to hold off on the glorified memory stick with earphones...I'm guessing the price will go down closer to the holidays.

Katie Couric needs to shut the hell up. She like flubbed her lines about six times this morning and was constantly correcting herself. I want news, not babble. But perhaps I should continue to stay away from Today, as I had not been watching it since the Olympics. Anyhow, when yer on national television, get your lines correct.

When my radio alarm went off this morning to NPR, for some reason they were playing the Queer Eye theme, which was disturbing as I usually prefer to wake up to some mellow NPR voice. Now that damn song is in my head.

Fundamentalists 0; Show Tunes Queen 1. Read the blog entry.

Posted by jimbo at 9:26 AM | Comments (12)

September 18, 2004

on being scandinavian

During today's rugby match, it was completely overcast with remnant hurricane rain pretty much the whole time. I was wearing SPF 40 sweatproof suntan lotion like I always do, and wearing my REI Elements rainjacket with hood and visor flap - AND MY FACE STILL GOT SUNBURNT! The rugby farmer tan season has begun.

It was a fun match as I like playing in the rain, and it has finally cooled down a bit. We lost to the team we beat once before, but only by 10-3. I played on the B-side, and we lost a bit more. Our A-side is now about 90% straight, which bugged me at first, but I realized hey, how many gay rugby players can you find in one city? We all get along, which is cool. Plus, the straight boys get quite an education during the post-match socials when we play gay teams from other cities.

Going to see Sky Captain with Fitz tomorrow.

Gurl's got the poop shoots, a stomach flu going around here that hit Chrisafer's partner Bubbles earlier in the week. I think I had it when I got back from my Alaska trip too. Kinda cleans you out for a while, leaving you feeling all lean and clean inside.

Speaking of butt issues, I'm looking forward to the cool, dry weather to come in our lovely fall here in DC. While the summer hasn't been as hot as others have been, I'm always OVER the humidity we get here.

On linking to other blogs: I love you all, but I just can't keep up with the explosion of blogs and blogging visitors coming down the pipe of late, or updating those who keep moving their URLs or blog hosts. It's nothing personal if I haven't removed dead links, updated changed ones, or not added others. I'd have to do it every day and I'm busy at work and lazy at home. I don't think I've updated my blogroll on the right here since spring, but again, it's nothing personal. ~ kisses ~

Posted by jimbo at 10:21 PM | Comments (6)

September 17, 2004

chunky junk in his trunk

Hurricane Ivan has brought some high pressure and cloying humidity to the area. Winds are light, and it's not raining much, despite the big pink glob over us on the radar. It's going to be Miami-like around here for a while I think.

So like I was at lunch with her and her today, and this cute Midwestern-looking boy with a tucked in plaid shirt was eating nearby. He sorta looked like a chunkier version of that guy who played the spineless Republican Mormon in the Angels in America movie. As usual, Chrisafer and Kia could not see the woofiness in what I was seeing, so the visual pleasure was mine alone.

So anyway, after lunch I go to the library to get some journals copied or else my ass be kicked by the frikkin' Uber-Comm PhD students in my grad class. This ain't no undergrad class like last year, so I gotta do mah research.

Anyhow, the elevator door opens on the 6th floor to reveal plaid shirt Midwest boy's chunky junk bent over right in front of me at the computer! ~ drool ~ Somehow, despite his chunkiness, he beat me to the library from the lunch area. He's so cute that he can teleport at will I guess.

So I like try to find my journals, but I can't find them because I'm a spaz and I'm totally distracted by Chunky Junk, so I head down to the 1st floor again to get help from the Libary Special Olympics Staff, of course taking the elevator. I walk into the elevator, eyes affixed to his Chunky Junk the whole time, and press the button to the 1st floor. The doors haven't shut yet, so I move opposite of the elevator buttons to view His Chunkness much better before the doors close. But I totally failed to see this quiet woman there in the small 6' X 8' space, and ran right into her without seeing her as I tried to reposition for a better look at the Chunky Junk in his Trunk. She had probably been watching my eyes bug out the way they do when I'm so-subtley "cruising" someone. She was very forgiving and polite to the blind Chunk-stricken retard in the elevator with her.

Posted by jimbo at 2:59 PM | Comments (1)

September 16, 2004

the orgasm bros.

I will not flip my polo shirt collar up. I did not do it the first time around either.

I love the new Beastie Boys video feat. Sasquatch. I've always been a big Sasquatch fan, ever since his first album, "Cascade Cruising." I think Adam is cute too.

Seann Scott is slated to play Bo Duke alongside Jessica Simpson as Daisy in the upcoming "Dukes of Hazzard" movie. Will they let him be scruffy and furry for this role? Howabout with a redneck fu-manchu 'stache?

And didn't I hear way back that there was supposed to be a sequel to "Dude, Where's My Car?" called "Seriously, Dude, Where's My Car"?

In other Midwest cutie news (Seann is from Cottage Grove, MN) I loves the curly-haired cutie Landon from River Falls, WI on this season's Real World. I've missed many seasons, but for some reason have been watching this one a lot. I'm guessing the gay black guy will be the trainwreck of the gang...his conflicts with being a "real, masculine guy" spell out M.E.S.S. The queenier guy from NYC seems to be far more together and happy with himself, as many queeny guys tend to be from my experience. They know they are flaming, and have had to work a bit harder at accepting themselves.

A friend of mine asked me to help him run in the Annual 17th St. High Heel Race this year! I am honored. I've already told him to get all his good faghags and female coworkers to start digging in their closets for castoff dresses. Then he must stage a small fashion show for them before the race in order to pick out the best dress. Start buying cheap, gaudy makeup at CVS. And if he knows a real, professional drag queen, the makeup can be even better. I have a buncha stuff going on too close to the race, and I don't trust my lower back at the moment, so heels are out of the question for purely medical reasons.

More characters from my downtown gym: the Orgasm Bros. These two guys are always lifting waay too much weight, and lifting it in poor form, at great melodramatic volumes. "UUUUUAAAAAGH! GRRRRAAAAGH! AWRRRAAAGH!" Compensation, Sexual Frustration, party of two. One of the guys is always fawning over the other one, who I assume is straight. I think it's one of those sad "we're just buds" situations where the 'masculine, straight-acting' gay guy is in love with his clueless butch straight friend. Anyhow, I hadn't seen them in a while, and noticed one of them had shrunk considerably, and was favoring his back. No, I don't think his 'bud' poked him too hard in the behind, I think he pulled a muscle from lifting too much weight with bad form. Honies, it's not strength, it's mass that matters! It's not worth pulling anything, especially beyond age 30 or so. Recovery just takes too long. Keep the weights low, up the reps, and lift with good form. It's supposed to be exercise recreation, not punishment. And keep the orgasms on the gym floor to a minimum. Relase it on video or DVD.

Posted by jimbo at 10:33 AM | Comments (9)

September 15, 2004

barry is back

Awww shit, Marion Barry won the seat for Ward 8 yesterday. But I'll have to say, the pissed off voters have spoken, and I can't blame them. In the past 4 years, DC has become largely unliveable for those with lower- and even middle-class incomes, as Brazil and Mayor Williams have become the bitches for real estate and development interests alone. While there have been some token efforts showing that the middle class can move here, and that paltry tax credit that hasn't changed along with the housing prices, DC remains largely out of reach for single people with salaries like mine. If you don't earn at least $60K a year and haven't already bought a home, forget being a single person who wants to live alone. Your only options are shared housing or having to get a significant other at that point.

In other sad news, that really cute candidate for the Democratic at-large seat did not win. 'sob'!

Frikkin' lights are out at work again today. Typing in the dark right now.

Posted by jimbo at 8:57 AM | Comments (14)

September 14, 2004

that question

Last week I was corresponding with this guy from match.com, things were going well, then he e-mailed me that question. "So why are you single?" Well clearly it's because I'm a mutant, and not the kind with super-powers. I stopped corresponding with him after that.

A while back I was having a conversation with Chrisafer over lunch where I mentioned that same question, and how it annoys me. When you ask that question to a single person, or maybe just me, it always sounds like, "What's wrong with you?" Believe me, us single folk ask ourselves that quite a lot, thank you. When asked that question, we often feel like we have to justify ourselves for some perceived and horrible incompleteness. Then that question came up again in the comments area:

"Why the hell do you not have a husband? Do you just wanna be single? Is DC really that lacking in huz material? Confused?!"

I do go on dates, but this blog isn't the tell-all venue for it as feelings have been hurt in the past. Too many people read this blog so writing about most of my dates is taboo. I've been seriously dating since winter, and have met lots of really nice and interesting guys, a few of whom I have been quite ga-ga over. But things don't always work out, and since the last relationship, I've been very picky. I deserve the best, and in the end, even if he's woofy as hell, you simply have to get along at the very least. If not, one can have a nice sleepover and/or make a new friend.

So I suppose the question should be addressed, since it comes up so often, so here are a few of my most common replies:

10. I'm not interested
9. He's not interested
8. He's not interesting
7. He lives in Saskatchewan (insert other city here)
6. He has a boyfriend
5. A partner doesn't complete me, so I don't have to have one
4. I was unemployed for a while - not sexy in DC
3. It took a while to get over the last relationship
2. It's hard to find a guy who's into fucking plush carnival toys
1. The men I date are sooo tasty, especially after dinner with some A-1 sauce. I like the hindquarters best - sooo meaty and chewy!

Posted by jimbo at 11:40 PM | Comments (13)

September 13, 2004

vacation pictures

me and denaliI took many pictures. The gallery is here.

I took the red eye from Anchorage to Seattle, then Seattle to Dulles. Perhaps I should have timed it better, as I hit morning rush hour traffic on 66. Welcome back to DC.

The last night I was there me and Rai and Izzy went out to Myrna's, one of their handful of gay bars in Anchorage. Like the Raven, it was a very diverse mix of lesbians, drag queens, Phillipinos, African Americans, Native Americans, Caucazoids, and whatnot. Very different from the homogenized gay bars, and bars in general, here in DC. People were very friendly there, AND on the plane on the way back. Me and this guy on the plane had to solve all the world's problems between Anchorage and Seattle, so I didn't get much sleep.

Back to work tomorrow. Reality calls.
:' (

Posted by jimbo at 5:07 PM | Comments (15)

September 11, 2004

crow pass trail

In nearby Girdwood there is a mountain pass trail called Crow Pass Trail, which I headed to today. I still have a little bit of a cold, so the hike was a little more challenging than it should have been. After a 3 hour hike, I was worn out. But the views were great and I saw the remnants of an old gold mine. The trail reminded me of the mountain passes in Kazakstan, lined with scree rock.

Tonight I'll be going out on the town for a wild night at the Anchorage gay bar! Actually, there is more than one but I'm told it's not worth the effort. Will report on that tomorrow, or Monday when I get back to DC.

Posted by jimbo at 11:56 PM | Comments (10)

September 10, 2004

ice worms, loons and homer

Yesterday I started driving south of Anchorage along the Turnagain Arm of the Cook Inlet. I stopped by the office of the Forest Service district where I worked in 1990, and only one former coworker remained, who is about to retire and was more than happy to give me a 45 minute lecture on the current state of the salmon fishery in the region. I'm all caught up on that now, thanks.

Then I drove down Portage Valley to the visitor center where I worked, surprised to see that it had been remodeled. I got a kick out of an 'S'-shaped sofa upholstered to look like a giant ice worm, an actual creature that lives in between the grains of snow in the ice fields below glaciers, feeding on pollen grains. (I am not pulling your leg on this one.)

Then I went in search of some of the salmon fishery projects I worked on in that valley, and found the actual trench I dug to create a salmon spawning channel. And MY CHILDREN HAVE RETURNED!!! Chum and Sockeye salmon were nearly spawned out near my channel, having shot their load (or eggs), their trip complete. I am so proud of my little fishies. But now they're dead. That's the thanks I get.

I had forgotten what a beatiful valley it is. Numerous glaciers are cascading down into the valley, many easily hiked to. I was really fortunate to have worked there.

From there I drove to Homer, the Halibut Fishing Capital of the World. After checking into my hotel, I drove down to the infamous Homer Spit for some pretty pictures, had some extremely fresh halibut fish 'n chips, then a beer at the Salty Dawg Saloon. When I came out of the bar, the sun was setting on the ocean, casting a semicircular rainbow on the other side of the bay. Spectacular.

Today I found the new visitor center that replaced the old one where I worked in 1993. Many of the staff were still there, and were glad to see me. I even nabbed some hot naturalist schwag, of little interest to anyone else but me though. Then coffee and quiche at the uber-gyno coffee shop in Homer, Two Sisters Cafe for that crunchy, organic feeling.

Around town I spotted common loons, ravens, bald eagles, a sea otter, a harbor seal, and for some reason a female pheasant, which shouldn't be there. Must have been stocked I guess.

I think a week is about all I need for a vacation. It isn't that I'm not having fun, it's just that I'm just ready to go home now. Next time I'll limit the vacation to a week. I've definitely been having a nice breather and good perspective here. Early September is a good time to come here. While it is starting to get nippy, there are far fewer tourists here, and no mosquitoes. The roads were clear for much of my trip.

Posted by jimbo at 11:17 PM | Comments (2)

September 9, 2004

the great one

Today I drove North from Anchorage to Talkeetna, where you get a darn good view of Denali, or Mt. McKinley. It is very big. In the past it had always been cloudy when I was up there, but today I got the best view of it yet. Not a cloud in the sky other than contrails. Talkeetna was a cute village, populated mainly by hippies and town drunks. On the way back I spied something surfacing in the stream near the road, so I pulled off and snuck through the brush. Sure enough, it was many coho salmon who had completed their trip to breed. Finally able to stop moving having found a good place to lay their eggs, the males were doing wierd little positionings to see which male could fertilize the biggest female's nest. I have seen the same behaviors in gay bars. Biologists call this phenomenon parallel evolution.

PS: I am taking lots of pictures all over, and pretty darn cool ones too. But I can't upload them from here, and don't really want to until I get home, but I'll make a big-ass photo gallery when I get home, so sit tight. And I hope to break out of my shy spell and take pictures of all these HOT Alaska locals. Carhartt coveralls have not gone out of fashion since I was here last, and people here rarely shave. GRRRRR! Scruffy gay boys in Carhartt jeans are IN TROUBLE when I get back! Look out! (Yeah, like there's a lot of those in DC...'sigh'.)

I forgot to mention that before my brother dropped me off at the Portland airport, we stopped at an AWESOME retro arcade in downtown Portland. I got my Old Skool Geek on with Joust, Berzerk, Spy Hunter, Robotron, GORF, Tron, Burgertime, Crystal Castles, Dark Knight, Arkanoid, Tempest, Mortal Kombat, Defender, and many more I have already forgot. Still just a quarter too. The only ones missing were Venture and Dragon's Lair. I think a retro arcade would really fly in towntown DC, to give the overworked and stressed out contractors and hyper messengers something to do in their 15 minute lunch breaks.

Posted by jimbo at 12:33 AM | Comments (5)

September 7, 2004

howdy from Anchorage

Hello from Anchorage! I'm staying at my friend Eskimundo's house which overlooks the Cook Inlet. From here I can see the chain of volcanos along the Aleutian peninsula. It's wonderfully sunny. However, my host is not big on the food stocking thing, and the car he had planned on letting me use has a flat tire. There is no 7-11 around the corner. So when he gets back from work we will discuss getting me to a car rental, as I have no intention of starving to death on the top of a mountain.

We arrived here early this morning. Yesterday I hiked up a mountain gorge to a hot spring with my brother. On the way there we could see adult Chinook salmon spawning in the clear stream, and I saw a few coho salmon leaping the falls. On the birdwatching list I spotted a kingfisher, an ouzel, and several mergansers, a kind of fish eating duck.

Before that I was in Portland playing in their gay team's 2nd match ever. They were pretty darn good for their 2nd match, and they have a good coach that teaches the basics well. I played for the Portland team as a fullback. Not my favorite position, but it was a chance to play.

I also went to Hood River which is east of Portland along the Columbia Gorge. Most of the people there live for windsurfing, including my brother. Knowing he would try to get me to windsurf, and knowing it's a very technical sport that takes several days to learn, and that we didn't have several days, I worked very hard to refuse his offers to windsurf as politely as possible. So then he offered the chance to go "kite flying". Picturing diamond-shaped kites with bows on their tails, I said sure.

When we got to the beach to fly the "kite" I realized it was more like a frikkin' parasail. I realized it was my brothers intention to teach me how to parasail-board or whatever since I didn't want to windsurf. Most of the things my brother likes to do are highly technical involve fucking around with gear. To my brother, fucking around with gear is a highly rewarding and entertaining passtime. He could fuck around with gear all day if he could. In fact, he spent two hours before our seemingly simple kite flying experience fucking around with gear. When we got to the beach he spent another half hour fucking around with gear before we got going. As for me, if the return of enjoyment must exceed the time fucking around with gear, not vice verse. Not so for my brother. For him it isn't really fun unless there are lots of snaps, latches, ties, zippers, levers and things to fuck around with and ajust. He will just sit there in a trancelike state for hours fucking around with gear, adjusting it, fondling it, absorbing the experience with his gear.

Anyhow, once we had finished the requisite period of fucking around with gear, we were ready to fly this "kite", which was a 10' arc of inflated mylar that can lift you out of the water. Eventually, you are supposed to be on a snowboard-like surfboard and have the kite drag you through the water. I told my brother we might have better footing if we were on land instead of wading in the water, and he said it's better to be in the water should you get yanked off your feet so you don't get dragged on the beach rocks. I would learn this lesson later on.

I got the kite to fly very well, and it was very strong. In fact you need one person to hold you down as you fly it. I had my brother get my digital camera to take a pic. After he took a few shots he said he was going to put it back in my pack, and the minute he turned his back, the kite yanked me off my feet and began dragging me into the Columbia River. Once I got the kite to crash, I thought it would be cool to launch it again, even though I was not touching the bottom of the river. Stupidly, I launched the kite again, which dragged me further into the cold river. At that point I crashed the kite again, and swam back to shore. "We are done," I declared to my brother. We had to spend some quality time fucking with gear again, and went home.

Posted by jimbo at 3:16 PM | Comments (5)

September 2, 2004

north to alaska

I am off to Anchorage, Alaska for a week and a half via Portland, Oregon, where I'll hang out with my oldest brother and possibly do some windsurfing with him in the Columbia Gorge. I'll also be playing rugby on Saturday near Portland with the Vancouver gay rugby team, the Vancouver Rogues against the Portland Avalanche. Then I head north with Eskimundo, the Venezuelan Ice Queen, for some hiking, fishing, and possibly to visit old haunts. I may not be blogging much, so here are some pictures from my time there in 1990 to tide y'all over:
Fishing for arctic grayling at Crescent Lake on the Kenai Peninsula
Me fishing for arctic grayling at Crescent Lake on the Kenai Peninsula.
Pink salmon caught fresh out of the Cook Inlet
Pink Salmon caught in a creek which fed into the Cook Inlet.
Go Ranger Jimbo Go!
Me in my Forest Service visitor center outfit and supreme early 90's hair.

Posted by jimbo at 5:21 AM | Comments (13)

September 1, 2004

change that attitude

Tuesday night I had my latest grad school class called persuasion and attitude change, which will also be my first rhetoric class ever. Most of my undergrad coursework consisted of hard science requiring lots of memorization, as opposed to a lot of fuzzy concepts in this class. I detected a few holes of support coursework needed to grasp some of the concepts, but I think reading the required texts should help that out. I have a cool small class of about a dozen people, including a Japanese woman who is taking the course to maybe try to help get the U.S. military base off of her hometown of Okinawa. Classroom discussion is encouraged, so it should be an interesting semester. And guess what one of our research and discussion topics is going to be? The GLBTwhatever marriage rights issue! BWA HA HAAA! I'm not saying it's gonna be a breeze, but considering all my rants from this summer, I feel particularly well informed on the topic. The downside is that the class goes from 6:30 to 9:30 in the evening, so getting home takes a while.

We were even assigned to watch the current Creature Convention on TV and study the dialectics and rhetoric flowing from it. As it stands, from DC we can smell the toxic gasses emanating from the thousands of blowhards spewing hate from up in NYC, as opposed to the mild breezes of indifference from the Boston convention.

Hmm...just read through a bit of the 2004 Republican Party Platform: A Safer World and a More Hopeful America, which states:

"We affirm traditional military culture, and we affirm that homosexuality is incompatible with military service."

You're welcome, assholes.

Posted by jimbo at 10:50 PM | Comments (12)