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September 17, 2004

chunky junk in his trunk

Hurricane Ivan has brought some high pressure and cloying humidity to the area. Winds are light, and it's not raining much, despite the big pink glob over us on the radar. It's going to be Miami-like around here for a while I think.

So like I was at lunch with her and her today, and this cute Midwestern-looking boy with a tucked in plaid shirt was eating nearby. He sorta looked like a chunkier version of that guy who played the spineless Republican Mormon in the Angels in America movie. As usual, Chrisafer and Kia could not see the woofiness in what I was seeing, so the visual pleasure was mine alone.

So anyway, after lunch I go to the library to get some journals copied or else my ass be kicked by the frikkin' Uber-Comm PhD students in my grad class. This ain't no undergrad class like last year, so I gotta do mah research.

Anyhow, the elevator door opens on the 6th floor to reveal plaid shirt Midwest boy's chunky junk bent over right in front of me at the computer! ~ drool ~ Somehow, despite his chunkiness, he beat me to the library from the lunch area. He's so cute that he can teleport at will I guess.

So I like try to find my journals, but I can't find them because I'm a spaz and I'm totally distracted by Chunky Junk, so I head down to the 1st floor again to get help from the Libary Special Olympics Staff, of course taking the elevator. I walk into the elevator, eyes affixed to his Chunky Junk the whole time, and press the button to the 1st floor. The doors haven't shut yet, so I move opposite of the elevator buttons to view His Chunkness much better before the doors close. But I totally failed to see this quiet woman there in the small 6' X 8' space, and ran right into her without seeing her as I tried to reposition for a better look at the Chunky Junk in his Trunk. She had probably been watching my eyes bug out the way they do when I'm so-subtley "cruising" someone. She was very forgiving and polite to the blind Chunk-stricken retard in the elevator with her.

Posted by jimbo at September 17, 2004 2:59 PM

Comments

I can't count the number of times I have steamrolled small women and children in elevators, not knowing they were there. They are always so sneaky, like ninja's or something, and I always feel like satan spawn afterwards, no matter how much I apologize.

At least you had just cause in stealing her space, better than I can say usually, I always have to pretend I am legally blind or something, not my fault they are short!

Posted by: Kevin at September 17, 2004 3:31 PM