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July 21, 2004
maryland is for mange
Tha Republifreaks are still after us, so don't let down your guard. "The Marriage Protection Act, endorsed by the House majority leader, Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas, prevents federal court challenges to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a national law passed in 1996 defining marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman."
So like, they want to ensure that you can never challenge any marriage law, as marriages are ONLY for a man and a woman. Right. It looks like another divisive proposal that they know won't win, designed to delineate between pro-and anti-gay legislators. Because that's an important use of our congressfolk's time. Frikkin' clowns. Get some real work done and stop trying to legislate your warped Christian values. Jesus would laugh his ass off if he ever met you people.
Speaking of ranting, Waremouse has frikkin' big guns - as big as his opinions. I saw John at the gym last night and he's got like these veins poppin' out on his biceps. (John, here's a tip: if you show pictures of your hot body your hit count will go up, and that will get more people reading your stuff. I know, it's whoring, but hey, we have to get the word out, right?).
Speaking of whoring, the Bush Twins are now out on the campaign trail for their Evil Dictator Father. Here's an excerpt from one of Jenna's campaign speeches:
"So, like, ohmigawd, I really, really think you should vote for my Dad, cuz like, I think he deserves another 2 years in the White House and like I've really had a good time here in DC and it's like totally sooo fun here in DC and then I'll like get hot security guards around me which is like soooo cool!"
First the Goatman, then the Snakehead Menace, there are now yet more freaky creatures in Maryland. It looks to me like a hyena/coyote crossbreed, or a juvenile black bear with terrible mange. What is it about that state that produces such odd creatures?
A special shout-out to a rather low-down, Potato-eatin', sketchy-assed crackwhore of an Irish leprechaun for standin' me up for dinner last night! Seame on you!
I am going away this weekend to my friend Steve's farm. I'm really, really looking forward to it. A weekend there with the quiet and the cows and the fishing is almost better or at least as good as a week at Rehomo in it's own way. Steve is drama-free and a fairly good cook too, and there will be not one, but TWO bulldogs to give me sloppy bulldog kisses all weekend! Yes, and the quiet, blessed quiet. I've had it with leaf blowers, car alarms, cell phones, construction and frikkin' crotch rockets in my 'hood.
Posted by jimbo at July 21, 2004 12:09 PM
Comments
About DOMA.. some people forget that it was a democrat who sign that act. But in regards to my views on Democrats and Republican politicians. I dont like any politician for 99.995% of them are shady and should be beaten with Hockey sticks.
About Freaky animals in Maryland. As a native child of this state. I have a couple of theories. 1) Ft Detrick and The Aberdeen Proving Grounds have biological research centers and somehow genetic freaks have escaped. 2) There is some sort of worm hole that pops these critters out. 3) Tainted Crabcakes.
Iam suprised you have not heard of the Pantherman of Montgomery county. There is a book that has a list of all the paranormal and cryptozoological tidbits of the 50 states (Maryland, Louisiana,New York State and NJ have the biggest sections) I have a copy somewhere in my den of boxes here at the house. I will inform you fo the proper title once it unearths.
Leprechauns? you know they are only good at making breakfast cereal and cobbling shoes :-)
:-)
Posted by: Dax at July 21, 2004 2:04 PM
latest on the hyote: " One reader asked his father, a retired veterinary pathologist, to speculate on the origin of the unique specimen:
"In my opinion... it looks like a fox with Cushing's Syndrome. An adenoma of either the pituitary or hyperplasia or adenoma of the adrenal gland cortex produces hyperadrenalcorticism (Cushing's Disease in humans). This syndrome causes a thinning of the epidermis of the skin and hyperpigmentation - which you see in this animal - thin, patchy dark colored skin - also you see a distinct pattern of hair loss, similar to what is shown in these photographs - Loss of hair on the body with retension on head and lower extremities - Hair also becomes brittle. Additionally the animals become very thin with weird weight distribution - bodies become somewhat barrel shaped. So my reply is this photo depicts a fox with an endocrine disorder."" Seriously my biogeek is turned on.
Posted by: kiri at July 21, 2004 2:20 PM
Speaking of weird things- what is Steve holding?
Posted by: homer at July 21, 2004 2:54 PM
Steve is holding a hellgramite, an aquatic insect larva that turns into something pretty when it emerges as an adult. In the meantime you can use a seine downstream from river rocks you disturb, and catch them and use them for bait. Fish go WILD for hellgramites!
Posted by: jimbo at July 21, 2004 3:19 PM
Does it turn into a dragonfly?
Posted by: Burl at July 21, 2004 6:52 PM
Well, I think it turns into a winged creepy crawly that looks like the aquatic version with pretty wings.
Posted by: jimbo at July 21, 2004 11:48 PM
Yo...wanna ride my crotch rocket?
(Yes...I am shameless.)
Posted by: Bubba at July 22, 2004 12:47 PM