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May 11, 2004
swamp ass season
OK, it's going to be one of those days, eh? Wrote a big fat blog entry this morning, then forgot to hit 'Save'. My calf is fucked up for some reason and I can't run. Now it's starting to burn, and our last rugby match up in Philly this weekend. Grrr. Anyhow, on with the rewrite.
Swamp Ass season has begun in The District. Straight to summer from winter, the dead rats in the alley are completing their decay, and the streets are blistering hot. Something is blooming right now that has me mildly congested and eyes itchy. I hope to put the Swamp Ass season to good use this year, and here's how: last night I must have seen at least six yuppie fucks, all clearly new to DC and highly impressed with themselves, at the Soviet Safeway yakking on their cell phones and not getting much done in terms of actual shopping. Wandering around the aisles and getting in the way. Listen kids: the aises are narrow, the store is busy, and there are a lot of people there that need to get some shopping done, so put your cell phone away, get your shopping done, and resume your conversation at home. You are boring and you are in my way. I fantasize shoving their cell phones up their lubricated Swampy Asses, then sticking their asses to the metal racks in the frozen food aisle, sealing their swamp ass together for eternity. If they are lucky their cell phones were set to 'vibrate' before adhesion.
Cute furry bald guy was at the gym again last night. He has a butt like a teddy bear that does yoga, and after seeing him stretch I've decided we need to marry. We seem to go at exactly the same time every Monday, and whenever I'm in the locker room, someone I know always wants to chat, and they are always near his locker. So I get a good look at it all and I like what I see very much. But if he notices me, it probably looks like I'm a total stalker, which I am in this case. I'm not certain of his orientation, however. I'll have to just say hi and find out.
I wrote my case about the Iraq prison abuse shit before, but since some illiterate redneck wrote a comment on her blog, telling her to shut up, I'd like to exercise my power of blogdom and speak my mind again, just because I can. We look [even more] like total assholes in the international arena. We went in to Iraq purportedly to save their people from civil rights abuses, and then go in and do the same shit ourselves. Now why were we there again?
Oh yeah, because they are a major threat to international security. Like Chris Rock points out, then how come it only took two weeks to take over the country? You can't take over Baltimore in two weeks.
Good News: I'm all covered and approved and paid for for my first undergrad course since 1995. I'm taking 'Intercultural Communication' as both a warm-up course and proof that I can get good grades this summer, starting June 1. You see, my potential avisor sort of said in a nice way that they need to see something a bit better than my undergrad GPA and my GRE score. Translation: get a frikkin' "A" or forget grad school. The heat is on.
Posted by jimbo at May 11, 2004 10:12 AM
Comments
Good luck with school. Oh and with cute furry yoga bendy boy.
Posted by: mark at May 11, 2004 10:43 AM
Bendy boys are good...there was this former gymnast once who...
Posted by: jimbo at May 11, 2004 11:19 AM
once who... WHAT??? WHAT??!?!?!
You in an intercultural communications class -- should be interesting.
Posted by: Dwight at May 11, 2004 12:19 PM
Shaddap. I'm crunchy like that. I like got 3 months of cross-cultural training in Peace Corps. Should be a breeze. Remember, like Madonna sang: "Jimbo makes the people come together."
Posted by: jimbo at May 11, 2004 12:26 PM
I took a class like that once, only it was titled something more like:
"Intercultural Communications for Teachers Stupid Enough to try Getting Anywhere by Teaching in Los Angeles"
It had a 3 hour lab, too.
Posted by: Jdub at May 11, 2004 1:49 PM
You communicate interculturally every day via your blog. So you should be fine. Just remember that not everyone says "gurl" though.
Posted by: Bubba at May 11, 2004 5:56 PM