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May 30, 2004

celene dion, vomit & shit

For all you Celene Dion fans: here's the connection between her and Prince if you haven't heard. Musical geniuses think alike.

Now y'all know I like to share, and I just have to this time. But don't read any further if you don't like gross-out stories, mmmkay?

Yesterday I had a meal of par-boiled chicken (we have no oven), broccoli and some ramen. I think I bought the Chinese ramen this winter when I was in Chinatown with 'tard during the snowstorm. But I thought ramen had a shelf life of forever due to the MSG. I was wrong. Read on.

After the meal I went to the gym only to find it closed early for the holiday, so I supplemented my missed weight time with a nice bike ride down Rock Creek Park to Georgetown, past the Kennedy Center along the Potomac River, then over the Memorial Bridge to watch the sunset. I came back up off the bike trail near the P Street Beach to DuPont Circle, then parked my bike near Lambda Rising. I needed a new bottle of lube, and the nice butch lesbians were very helpful in their advice I might add.

I digress. After my purchase of an 8.6oz. bottle of Wet Original Gel, I strolled over to get a grilled chicken tbm at Cosi. Got some groceries and headed home for a mighty evening playing CivIII.

I didn't notice throughout the day after the fated ramen meal that I had neither belched nor farted. The two are indicators of efficient digestion. My tummy was a bit distended. Nothing down there was moving, and something was cramping too. Then right there at my computer, I suddenly puked. Luckily my Big Gulp cup for water was at hand, so I had something to retch in.

Now I haven't puked since long before July when I had my tonsils removed. The plumbing in my mouth is different now. There are no hyperinflated nodules to keep vomit from shooting out of my nose. And it did. Big chunks of undigested ramen, flakes of sea-tangle flavoring and those unidentifiable orange chunks that are in the flavoring packets. I noted that the chicken tbm from the last meal did not fly by my face. Everything but the ramen was digested. The ramen noodle chunks were completely untouched.

I made it to the toilet without puking again, and blew the lodged chunks of food out of my nose into the toilet bowl. It just kept coming. I had no idea your nasal cavities could store so much vomit. Eventually most of it was shot out of my nose, but that smell remained. You know, that smell in the dorm room halls from freshman year, or in the basement of a frathouse. I couldn't get the smell out of my nose by just blowing, so I put my nose under the faucet and carefully inhaled water into my nose. That helped a lot, but I was still blowing ramen spice chunks out of my nose as of this morning.

But I still like Celene Dion.

Another gross tidbit: all last week my roomate and I couldn't figure out what the poopy smell was in our house. I assumed the cat had shit somewhere he wasn't supposed to. Then my roomate discovered someone had taken a shit in one of the empty, unused toilets on our first floor last weekend at the party! Pooped in a dry toilet! How frikkin' rude! WHAT DRUNK QUEEN SHITS IN THEIR HOST'S DRY TOILET BOWL?! And it was the nasty dirty toilet in our mud room where we store grimy gardening tools. Eeeew. That train must have been coming down the tracks pretty fast for her to use that bowl.

Posted by jimbo at 11:53 PM | Comments (11)

May 28, 2004

David Catania: You Go Gurl

I know I've been pooping a lot lately on gay Republicans, but I am now a huge fan of one of them: Miss David Catania. Not only is she a big number cruncher and accountability queen on the Howard University DC politics network (which I call the David Catania Show), but she HAS BALLS LIKE KING KONG for doing what she did as written in this article in the Washington Post. He has left the local Republican Party organization after its chairman stripped him of his delegate seat at the national convention because he opposes President Bush's reelection.

"I have to look in the mirror and say, 'Are you at home behind your eyes supporting a person who would write discrimination into the Constitution?' There is simply no way I could rationalize that," Catania said.

He does not yet know if he will remain a Republican, which is fine with me. I respect the man for making a stand on an issue that directly affects his life. In the quote above, I see a person with self-respect and the ability to choose the right direction for himself and for humanity. Rock on Missy.

Posted by jimbo at 12:17 PM | Comments (8)

the swarm advances...

Bush Cicada-Queen
Last night another small web job fell in my lap. It won't be as lucrative as my last gig, but a little extra cash on the side doesn't hurt. That also means more socks and plaid shirts, as I told Mitzhi the other night. I didn't have much planned for the weekend anyway, so I should be able to get a lot of it done. I am not crazy about some of the code I have to work with (ugh...font tags instead of CSS?!?) but it shouldn't be too hard.

dickwolf.jpgTonight a bunch of big gurls and I will be going out to Windows for happy hour. We will be rubbing each other's bellies, making 'grrr' noises, and forming an impenetrable defensive muskoxen circle in order to not let anyone into our naturally masculine down-to-earth group of 'buds'.

WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY!?! My next boyfriend! Must. Stalk. Porn. Star. Thanks to Brent, I am now obsessed this new porn star, 'Dick Wolf'. Wuuuf. All you pornographers please send me DVD titles and recent issues of certain magazines where I can find more. Schnoz, blonde goatee, fur: yummy.

The other day I was talking to my mom on the phone, and mentioned that I was going fishing with my friend My'ra. Mom asked me "So is My'ra a girl or a guy?" And I told mom that My'ra was female. Mom replied, "Oh, I can never tell with all the names you give your friends!" I suppose she has a point.

This weekend, in addition to my web stuff I'll be doing, is to go up the Potomac again on a bike ride, and perhaps to the National Arboretum which I haven't been to in a while.

Posted by jimbo at 9:29 AM | Comments (5)

May 27, 2004

just say no to 'enterprise' & tiny nekkid pics

I was sold on the season finale of 'Enterprise' last night - up until the final 2 minutes. Writers, just say NO to time-related plot twists. Now the crew has to stop aliens in the Third Reich? NO. That's just silly. I am done with Enterprise. Divorce. I really miss Captain Janeway, Tuvok and 7 of 9.

Other things to say No to: really teensy nudie pics sent by guys storing them on a camera phone or handheld device. Men, I want to see HIGH RESOLUTION pics of your bulging furry pecs when you send 'em to me. None of this postage stamp sized crap. No less than 300dpi, no smaller than 300 X 400 pixels, mmmkay? I'm getting old and my vision is failing. I want desktop-sized images!

Posted by jimbo at 2:38 PM | Comments (7)

republican national convention schedule

New York 2004

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A drain on our nation's economy.
11:10 PM Hillary Clinton piŅata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

Posted by jimbo at 12:29 PM | Comments (6)

May 26, 2004

republicans are out to get gays and lesbians

Somebody tried to tell me once that the cultural war against gays and such things as the Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA) was a bipartisan effort. Perhaps it is a teensy bit bipartisan, as I'm sure there are a few conservative Democrat pricks out there. But those spearheading the efforts and writing the bills are primarily conservative Republican pricks. In fact, this weekend the GOP is spearheading an information campaign meant to sway legislators support of the FMA. As in the GOP is trying to make sure gays never get the same rights as straight couples. As in the GOP is out to get us. The lines are clearly drawn here - if you are gay and a member of the GOP, you are allied with a group of people who are working very diligently to restrict and prevent equal rights. This translates to me as moral corruption, with such gays being unable to differentiate between right and wrong.

Ever since the 'sanctity of marriage' speech I've had a teeth-gnashing, gut twisting problem with gay Republicans. I can barely speak to the ones on the rugby team, especially the ones who work in the offices of those legislators who have voted against things like gays ability to adopt and workplace protections for gays and lesbians. I don't understand how they can go to work every day, much less wake up in the morning. When you work with someone who is out to get you and your kind, there is clearly some sort of disconnect with your moral code.

Speaking of vermin, I've been all about the cicadas this week. On Sunday after cleaning up party mess, I went for a long bike ride up the Capital Cresent Trail along the Potomac, deep into the major swarmings in the forest. I heard no less than three different types of buzzing going on: a low-level War-Of-The-Worlds spaceship sort of noise, a buzzing noise and a noise similar to my bike gears without lube.

Monday night I went up to the wilds of Silver Spring, where it was starting to stank from so many cicadas. It was either their piss or their carcasses, but the stank was building. They are not cute anymore after that point. After I got the cicada tour, we went to a small gathering of gays at a local bar in Laurel, MD. Yes folks, I drove past the protective barrier known as the Beltway and ventured into another state.

Clickboo totally stalked my house and took pictures at the party this weekend. I think he fancies himself as a Geraldo Rivera of sorts. At least his pics turned out better than mine:
The pornucopia in the masturbatorium (computer in my room)
A couple of queens violating my bed
My roomate's Swanktuary
My milkshake is better than yours.
Amnityville Demon Kitty.
I didn't know my roomate had kept the teeth molds from the previous tenants of the house.
My fly 'do from behind.
Of course everyone ended up in the kitchen.
Two cute guys in one pic.

Posted by jimbo at 9:28 AM | Comments (6)

May 23, 2004

party report

"More food than you can possibly imagine."
- Seamus

"Ohmigawd Gurl, who's that hottie with the flattop?"
- Gurl

"Are you sure that cute one is straight?"
- Anonymous

Last night's party at the crib ROCKED! We had a wide assortment of guests, from military beef, scary Norwegian trolls, cute frat boys, our neighbors from Shaw, rugby beef, woofy guys, cute guys, g/l/bi/tran/whatever film festival queens, more woofy guys, former Daugters of Norway, D&D geeks, and plenty of bloggers, including her and her and her. I wait eagerly to post more evidence of misbehavior from the evening from aforementioned bloggers with digital cameras.

Hijinks included getting the party started with some kind of Norwegian grog I called flêurfügnårgen, continual visits to and a lot of interest in the antique gynecological examination table downstairs, tours of our creepy haunted basement, and keeping rabid drunken queens with absolutely no self respect from chasing the hot gay former soldier poster child around the house and were also cornering the straight frat boy asking pointed and rude questions about his orientation.

Some questions for those of you who were there:
- Who was that cute blonde guy with the tounge peircing and star on his shirt? Who did he come with? Me want.
- What were Earl and Chad doing on my bed?
- While the cookies and the swedish fish disappeared in a few minutes, how come nobody at the salsa and chips? Carbophobia?

Friday's soirČe was really cool. I'm not much of an opera fan but it was neat to see my friend doing what he loves to do. I really admire him for that, for actually going through with something that he's always wanted to do, on top of his full time job as a lobbyist. Later on we went out for drinkies at Titan, and it was home to bed.

Posted by jimbo at 1:20 PM | Comments (11)

May 21, 2004

culture creatures

The Green Lantern last night was...well let's just say I think the Shirtless Men Drink Free thing has had it's heyday. Aside from meeting up and chatting with friends, the single man should best look elsewhere.

But then where does one go? The Eagle is tired, Rimmington's is stuffy and smokey, and the Lantern is over. I'm too old for Cobalt and waay too old for Apex. JRs is too crowded. I go to Titan waaay too much with the rugby team. Omega is creepy (great video bar though) and forget the Fireplace. The time I stay at Nation continues to decrease. Maybe I'm the one who's over that whole scene. When I go out I'm just bored to tears and terribly unimpressed. Time for a husband, perhaps? Easier pondered than done, however. And it doesn't help that I'm horny as hell and boy-crazy all the time. Pictures like these from Metro Weekly don't help at all. First spotted that woofer during his American Idolesque performances. Awrooo! More hot Colossus pics too.

Tonight I'll be going with some friends to a more cultural event, a soirČe put on my a friend of ours who is an accomplished opera singer turned evil lawyer/lobbyist and back again. He's got a great voice, but me and Gurl have to be on our best behavior. Our opera friend got a little annoyed with our behavior at the last one, because me and Gurl went way to the back of the room, sat ourselves down with our cocktails, and rudely giggled and gossiped the whole time. You could almost see the powdered wigs on our heads, looking through our opera glasses discussing various scandals during the performance.

And our party is this Saturday! Please don't be offended if you didn't get the e-vite. I probably forgot you, so just show up, OK? I am a dizzy queen and I apologize. Just send me an e-mail and I can give you directions.

Posted by jimbo at 11:02 AM | Comments (18)

May 20, 2004

bozhe moi!

I'll be your ArielSo you say you liked what you saw in the last X-Men movie when that hot buff dude changed into organic steel? The character was Colossus, the actor Daniel Cudmore from Vancouver (of course), a former rugby player who had a bit part as a Jaffa in the Stargate series. Here's a shirtless desktopalicious pic Gurl found of him the other day. Ochen cracevaya. Enjoy.

Last night Kari and I dallied long at the International House of Husbands, so I missed the finale of Angel. Did anyone TiVo or tape it? Or when is the next recast of it? How was it? Did Wesley declare his love for Jimbo?

Anyhow, Kari pointed out that she was the only female there amidst a sea of sideburned, lean men. At one point she noted, "They all look like Abercrombie & Fitch models!"

"Yeah, but all at an average age of around 40," I replied.

Of course square-jawed handsome dreamy man was there, talking it up with everyone in the place. 'sigh' He's dreamy. I have vowed to say hello to him the next time I see him.

I have been asked to think about speaking for the next WYSIWYG Talent Show up in NYC. The theme for this one is "That's So Gay: Tales of Extremely Gay Gayness." Apparently my name came up as a potential speaker. I'm that gay? OKfinethen. The problem is I can't think of a tale of extremely gay gayness for the life of me. I can write a witty blog entry every frikkin' day, but when I'm under the gun I get creative constipation. For those of you who know me, throw me some ideas. How I went about hitting on the one gay man I met when I was in Alaska? Me wiping out in the drag race, then getting hit on afterwards? How my coworkers at USDA helped me out in dress selection for the drag race? I'm stumped. Help!

I am so going to the Lantern tonight. I'm all fly from the barbershop, and the honeypot is on fire.

If you people love me, you will get me this glossy from Xanadu for my birthday.

Posted by jimbo at 11:45 PM | Comments (6)

May 19, 2004

good-bye angel

Finale of Angel is tonight on the WB. I am very sad. First Buffy, now this. Now there is nothing worthwhile on TV except for Stargate and maybe Charmed. But now that the series is over, the guy who plays Wesley now has more free time to devote to me.

I've been keeping up on Indian politics lately. They elected another Ghandi to be prime minister, who then stepped down due to questions about her Italian nationality. What fascinates me is the fact that her gender is not an issue. Pakistan and India have both had female prime ministers, as have many other countries in the world. Countries percieved as "less developed" than the U.S., mind you. And yet we are still absolutely terrified of a female president here in America. Mention Hillary Clinton to conservatives and they frikkin' go ape shit. Do not fear the female, America.

I will be seeing my hometown friend Kari tonight. Our little Breakfast Club gang from Holmen High is still fairly tight. Not only am I eager to see her, but I'm eager to just hang out. I haven't hung out for quite a while. Hanging out is different than going out or going dancing. Hanging out is much like chilling out, only slightly less relaxing.

Posted by jimbo at 10:18 AM | Comments (9)

May 18, 2004

his plan unfolds

The true George W. Bush and his plans for global domination are revealed...
George W. Cicadacreature

Posted by jimbo at 10:55 AM | Comments (8)

May 17, 2004

royalty: out - england, in - norway

Just remember, this is me. Don't leave me out in the sun too long and keep my bum dry. My mom wears fabulous hats, and my dad is a total schnozalicious hottie.

Happy Syttende Mai!

OK, so like nobody trip over your own shoes offering to take me out or anything for this holiday. I'll remember this come St. Paddy's day or the next Cinco de Mayo. Screw all you Norwegian haters.

CICADA REPORT: heard my first cicada today. Molted skins and nyphs in various stages of undress are all over the trees and bushes on campus. Some of them have stunted wings, some of them are white from just getting out of their skins. Sparrows, robins, and even squirrels are gorging themselves. Apparently they do not taste bad at all.

Posted by jimbo at 12:09 AM | Comments (5)

May 16, 2004

smack it up, flip it, rub it down

Bubba points out Mike Piazza's full beard. Can I hear a big 'ol WOOF from the choir?

Somehow I managed to get a lot of sleep this weekend, so I'm really caught up which feels great. Thursday night I went home after practice and stayed in, and got to sleep in Friday as I had taken the day off. It was a good thing as I couldn't get my shit together for the life of me, despite having to leave at 2pm. It was a crowded ride up, but we got there with enough time to spare for a nap in a frigid air-conditioned room. Aaaah.

There was a pre-match social at a local Philly bar, and it also happened to be Bear Weekend with some event at that bar. I'll have to say again, I like big hairy guys, but not nececessarily 'Bears' as the two are not always one and the same. But there was one scruffy Italian cub there from NYC who was all up in my kitchen. I raided the cupboard a bit to see what was inside, and he was deliciously furry. However, he was really intense and 'too much'. It's hard to explain, but that little voice inside me was sayin' "Gurl, don't go there." I've learned to listen to that voice more often these days, and I did, so no regrets.

Walking around Philly, I half expected to see a member of New Edition or at least someone from Bell Biv DeVoe. Or maybe Bobby Brown would come out of an SUV and beat me up, but no luck. Dammit. 'Poison' is still one of my favorite albums.

I had wisely packed my earplugs, so the snoring roomate was not a problem, and I got another good night of sleep in our wonderfully cold room. It was a good thing, as the rest of the day was hot and muggy. We played an A- and a B-side match, both of which were won. I played the entire B-side game, but wasn't as fast as I could have been as the calf was still tight. I learned to run with less of a stride, so could still go pretty fast. No spectacular plays on my part, but got one tackle and one short run with the ball. At one point I was right on the goal line with the ball, but didn't realize how close I was, and handed the ball back when I might have been able to make a try. 'doh!

Got back at around 9 last night despite trying to get home quicker. I was beat and was in bed at a reasonable hour, with yet another good 8 hours of sleep. All that sleep must have done my calf good, as it feels pretty good today. I was expecting it to be a solid flaming mass of tension today. Off to garden a bit and maybe get a workout in before D&D.

Posted by jimbo at 12:15 PM | Comments (5)

May 14, 2004

off to philly

I'm off to Philly for the evening, hopefully to play tomorrow in a match against the Philly Gryphons, their gay rugby team. The calf is doing better, but there's still a detectable pinch in there somewhere. Just hold out for one more game!

Posted by jimbo at 10:31 AM | Comments (2)

May 13, 2004

i feel so like bradford today

Mission accomplished at Pentagurl City Mall last night: undies, dress shirt, tightie whities and black Kenneth Cole shoes bought instead of 'grampaw' Florsheim shoes. You just can't help but shop fabulous with her. Some lessons learned at the mall:

Mitzh didn't let me get anything plaid, even though I am Eddie Bauer to her Aeropostale. I did find the cutest pair of linen drawstring pants that make my junk fall out of my trunk quite nicely.

Was just reading through another really 'down to earth' butch profile on bigmusclebears.com today, where yet another bear slams circuit queens. And yet I continually see pics like this, where it is clear that bears have formed their own, hairier and bigger, circuit scene. Now, I like bears and I like circuit parties, but the bears need to get off their high horse with the elitist attitude here. Clearly as many pills are being popped by the bears as there are by the less hirsute party boys. Flip side of the same coin, it's just that one side is furrier. Just cut the hypocritical superiority trip and 'fess up, mmmkay?

THIS JUST IN: Whitney is out of rehab. Congrats, Whitney!

Posted by jimbo at 10:10 AM | Comments (10)

May 12, 2004

just so much meat

First, the happy news: check out the divine curvature of Brad Fullmer's meaty behind, thighs and calves. Brad is the designated hitter for the Texas Rangers.

This inspires me to work out my legs more. But the damn left calf is still tight as hell. Now the tightness has extended all the way up to my thigh, and across to where the thigh connects to the hip. I think I know what's up with that: a while back when I was playing water polo, the same thing happened. The physical therapist said my femur was actually moving out of my pelvis - a tiny dislocation if you will. Recovery depended on massage and adjustment. Not painful, but time consuming. And it looks like I've commited to an expensive trip just to watch a rugby match this weekend in Philly. So much for the spring season.

In other divine curvature news, I'm going shopping again with Mitzhicouatl, the Living Avatar of the Asstec Goddess of Fashion and Couture tonight at Pentagurl City Mall. Items to be bought:

I don't always shop this much, it's just that I'm long overdue for a lot of basic stuff, and I can't take it anymore. The worn soles on my shoes could be a contributing factor to my lameness. Mitzhicouatl is mostly going to help me with the sexy shirt issue. I have a feeling we're still gonna end up at Eddie Bauer anyway.

I was totally shaken by the news about the beheading of the contractor in Iraq. Torture is bad, but beheading is worse - and they did it to him with a big knife, sawing, while he was still alive. But that's the point the terrorists are trying to make. They want to incite war and escalate it further, because that's their business. They really don't have anything else going on in their lives other than war and hate (neither do we, apparently). The sad part is that now they created an actual reason for us to be in Iraq, which will continue to keep them in business. Terrorists are little more than politicians who are more desperate than the ones elected into offices of any nation. They just do more extreme things to incite people to their side.

I actually feel bad for the congressmen on the Hill who have to review the torture videos this week. I've only seen the public still photos, but I hear the other shit out there is particularly repulsive. And they probably had to watch the beheading too, which is no worse than something from rotten.com or a Faces of Death video. War is nasty, nasty shit, and these are ugly times to live in.

Posted by jimbo at 10:39 AM | Comments (7)

May 11, 2004

swamp ass season

OK, it's going to be one of those days, eh? Wrote a big fat blog entry this morning, then forgot to hit 'Save'. My calf is fucked up for some reason and I can't run. Now it's starting to burn, and our last rugby match up in Philly this weekend. Grrr. Anyhow, on with the rewrite.

Swamp Ass season has begun in The District. Straight to summer from winter, the dead rats in the alley are completing their decay, and the streets are blistering hot. Something is blooming right now that has me mildly congested and eyes itchy. I hope to put the Swamp Ass season to good use this year, and here's how: last night I must have seen at least six yuppie fucks, all clearly new to DC and highly impressed with themselves, at the Soviet Safeway yakking on their cell phones and not getting much done in terms of actual shopping. Wandering around the aisles and getting in the way. Listen kids: the aises are narrow, the store is busy, and there are a lot of people there that need to get some shopping done, so put your cell phone away, get your shopping done, and resume your conversation at home. You are boring and you are in my way. I fantasize shoving their cell phones up their lubricated Swampy Asses, then sticking their asses to the metal racks in the frozen food aisle, sealing their swamp ass together for eternity. If they are lucky their cell phones were set to 'vibrate' before adhesion.

Cute furry bald guy was at the gym again last night. He has a butt like a teddy bear that does yoga, and after seeing him stretch I've decided we need to marry. We seem to go at exactly the same time every Monday, and whenever I'm in the locker room, someone I know always wants to chat, and they are always near his locker. So I get a good look at it all and I like what I see very much. But if he notices me, it probably looks like I'm a total stalker, which I am in this case. I'm not certain of his orientation, however. I'll have to just say hi and find out.

I wrote my case about the Iraq prison abuse shit before, but since some illiterate redneck wrote a comment on her blog, telling her to shut up, I'd like to exercise my power of blogdom and speak my mind again, just because I can. We look [even more] like total assholes in the international arena. We went in to Iraq purportedly to save their people from civil rights abuses, and then go in and do the same shit ourselves. Now why were we there again?

Oh yeah, because they are a major threat to international security. Like Chris Rock points out, then how come it only took two weeks to take over the country? You can't take over Baltimore in two weeks.

Good News: I'm all covered and approved and paid for for my first undergrad course since 1995. I'm taking 'Intercultural Communication' as both a warm-up course and proof that I can get good grades this summer, starting June 1. You see, my potential avisor sort of said in a nice way that they need to see something a bit better than my undergrad GPA and my GRE score. Translation: get a frikkin' "A" or forget grad school. The heat is on.

Posted by jimbo at 10:12 AM | Comments (6)

May 9, 2004

i saw the first cicada, dammit

I made it through to the end of the week, getting my annual report (first draft, mind you) and the side web job done. It was a great relief. I totally deserved to chill on Saturday, so I did, and got in some time in the sun in our tiny backyard for a good half-hour or so. That's about all it took for my fishbelly white self to start burning. I hoofed back up to College Park to take some pictures at a work event, then back for some time at the Eagle with Mitzh, Chrisafer and a new friend. Got the opportunity to cross-pollinate my worlds by introducing one of the ruggurls to the DC blogging celebrities. A few cuties in the crowd, and it was good to catch up with the Mitzh, but I didn't stay long as I was pretty beat.

This morning My'ra picked me up and we tried a little fishing (beardless jimbo pic!) on the Potomac off the C&O Canal towpath. Due to so much rain, the water was high and murky, and we didn't get a bite. But it was good to be outside, and we saw a wood duck, jack-in-the-pulpit plant, and my first cicada! They are coming...

Posted by jimbo at 9:50 PM | Comments (9)

May 6, 2004

jimbo a.w.o.l.

Sorry for my online absence, but the draft copy of the goddamn fucking hemorrhoid of a newsletter/annual report WILL BE DONE TOMORROW! I was here at work late much of this week, passed on playing rugby with the boys tonight, and good sleep. Then of course I have to wrap up my side web job at the same time, plus a day of (good) marketing training in the middle of it all.

I had a date late last night, but it was no fun as I was too worn out and preoccupied from the deadline issues. I've got too much shit on my plate for sure...no time for mushy stuff for a while I guess.

Then I have to be back here Saturday night to take digital pictures for an event, because if I ain't there, it don't get reported right. I've found when I ask about events after the fact and in my absence, I get a completely clueless look in response, so I gotta be there. Since I can't make it from Southern Maryland, where Saturday's rugby match is, back to here in time for the event, I have to skip the match as well. So sadly only one more match for me this season. Hopefully my shit will be more together next season where I can tackle deadlines better than I tackle ruggers.

Here I play oracle for Mitzh. Sorry for my absence this week Mitzh, but if no one else can have me, neither can you.

Posted by jimbo at 7:56 PM | Comments (3)

May 5, 2004

it's not a hot flash, it's a power surge

Workin' from home today, as the power is out yet again at work. Earlier this spring it was the lights, but not the plug-ins, but today it's everything but the phones. I theorize that there's a secret superconductor experiment going on down in the basement of my building, which draws power away periodically from the heating and cooling systems and/or the electricity from time to time. Here's hoping their neutrons collide properly today. I'll be heading back up there when the coast is clear, which they say is by Noon or so.

Check out the 'Realtors on Crack' entry from the In Shaw blog. She writes about the insane home sale prices in my neck of the woods, an area where many queens still fear to tread.

Posted by jimbo at 9:36 AM | Comments (7)

May 4, 2004

what it feels like for a girl

Today's lunchtime discussion with her walking back across campus from Boston Market:
If you were a girl on campus, to what extreme and how often would you dress like a slut?

Chrisafer: "I would dress semi-slutty all the time." (Daphne)
Jimbo: "I would dress totally slutty at appropriate venues, like going out to the club, but would otherwise dress sensibly and comfortably the rest of the time." (Velma)

Posted by jimbo at 1:52 PM | Comments (4)

careful with the beard trimmer

Queer Eye Grooming Tip of the Day: your sideburns will be more even if you avoid trimming them immediately upon waking up in the morning. Groggy, sleepy eyes and an unsteady hand don't make for straight trims when shaving one's beard off.

Posted by jimbo at 9:14 AM | Comments (9)

May 3, 2004

it's getting hot in here

They seem intent to ensure the most uncomfortable work environment here in my building at work. It is a perfectly cool day outside. Inside, hot, dry 90-degree air is pumping out of the air ducts. Summer is coming, and hot air is coming out of the ducts. I've made a call and I'm told my a barely understandable woman that a 'work order' has been put in, which means nothing will happen.

I guess I was up too late last night, as I am clearly grumpy today. Last night Chrisafer and I went to see some Pimp Daddy entertainment action last night at Rimmington's. Smoove performance as usual by the Ray-Ray doing his best "Cry Me a River", and then his cute dreamy bud Patrick came on, albeit sans woofy beard, but he was still cute. And Ray-Ray made it to the next round of the 'American Idol'-like competition. Congrats to Pimp Daddy Ray-Ray.

But I've noticed that Rimmington's is probably the smokiest gay bar in the city. It seems to be the favorite hangout for hardcore chain-smokers. Probably another reason why I don't go there too often. Only for Ray-Ray. I can't wait until some genius opens up a smoke-free bar in this town. Contrary to what they naysayers are preaching, I think it would be successful.

Another rather unfocused gaming session with the geeks last night. They are reeling from the switch from 20th level characters back to 3rd level characters. Bwa ha haaa! Bubba called in the middle of the game from the Astros stadium. Now I wanna go to a baseball game, drink beer and eat bad hot dogs and check out Major League Baseball players' asses, preferrably from the shade.

Mmmkay...regarding the war. I've kept quiet on hot political issues lately. It raises my blood pressure. Anyhow...we look bad, really bad. Lame ass excuse for going in, and now that we're in, we're peeing on prisoners of war, and not being too good at covering our tracks. People, this is a new age, one of Information, and word gets out fast. You have to put on a happy smiley face or get the fuck out of there. Granted, it would be irresponsible to leave the roiling cauldron of shit that Iraq is now because of us, but we need to get out as soon as possible.

Don't forget that Mother's Day is Sunday the 9th. I have to get a birthday card for someone, but I can't remember for whom.

Posted by jimbo at 10:10 AM | Comments (5)

May 2, 2004

no more tina for you

Last night was pretty fun. Our rugby team was volunteering for staffing duties at the Saturday night Cherry 9 event. I showed up and was assigned the task of welcoming people and telling them to have their IDs out and ready. For some people, this was a difficult thing to do. It was amusing to guage the various levels of cracked-outedness of the guests. When you work at the door of a club where there are a lot of people cracked out of their gourds you will hear a lot of really pathetic drama. For some reason because I'm at the front door, they think I can solve all their problems. No honey, I can't conjure up your lost wallet for you. No honey, I can't replace the batteries in your cam - you'll have to do it yourself. Moderation, people!

The shift from midnight to 2am went quickly. I had assumed most of the attendees were yet to arrive, but when I got into the place, it was completely packed. I guess most of the people had shown up before my shift, which is surprising. I saw a woofer I used to date, and my old Peace Corps country director (!?!) which was a blast from the past. He's well into his 40's at least, but does very well at being youthful. The DJ was actually spinning tunes with lyrics, so that part was good. It was so crowded people were very sweaty, and I wasn't in the mood to get all sweaty with someone for once. But I managed to stay until 3am, and shared a cab ride home with a polite Southern gentleman who opened the cab door for me! That's so hot.

Favorite words this week: 'snarky' and 'gadonkadonk'.
Words still banned: 'carbs'

And for all you Bill Goldberg fans, don't miss the June issue of Hardcore Muscle magazine. Goldberg's woofy as usual, with a fully-daddied out beard goin' on his ursine self.

Posted by jimbo at 1:12 PM | Comments (3)

May 1, 2004


Dammit. I was 10 minutes late for the carpool to the rugby match today, so I missed out on the game. I learned later there was no B-side match, but I may have gotten a chance to play anyway. Since it takes me 20 minutes to walk to the carpool area, and 20 minutes back, by the time I got home it was too late and they were already warming up. I guess everyone still thinks I have a car, because no one called and I didn't have the phone list. And I'm right on the road to the field anyway. Next time I'll plan ahead better. Oh well, I got my grocery shopping done, a little garden work, and some remaining web work to finish up.

Posted by jimbo at 3:55 PM | Comments (3)