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April 29, 2004

the face! not the face!!!

all accessorized for cherryThe head. Why is it always the head? Nothing else. No groin sprains, no shin splints, no muscle spasms. Just knocks to the head. Perhaps it is because I have a big head.

Last night at practice a teammate stomped on my face during a drill and did this to me. I felt his every cleat on my face. Later on I called him a douche bag and told him that all my hopes for getting laid this weekend were ruined because of him. He said sorry and hugged me. Awwww. We have sensitive straight guys on our team. They're cute.

But hey, if it maintains this cherry red color and doesn't turn ochre or puke yellow, I'm already totally accessorized for the Cherry 9 parties this weekend! I'll be on crack patrol (come on...the wolf tending the sheep) from Midnight to 2am Saturday night at Nation. I'm not expecting the work to be too demanding.

Happy Arbor Day! Yesterday we finally got our new tree for our tree box on the streetside. All of the rest of the trees on the blocks are maples. Our new tree is an elm. But at least it's alive. The last tree we got was Dead On Arrival, and when we called to tell them it was dead, they sent a person out to check the tree. Seeing lichen on the bark of the dead tree, they declared it was in fact alive, even though it had no leaves and its twigs snapped like dry matchsticks. Gotta love the DC Urban Forestry Administration.

Too bad the DC government isn't getting too much out of the Casey Trees Foundation, a local nonprofit that so far has done a much-needed inventory of the urban forest of DC. We are long overdue for some good urban canopy management, replacement of problem snag trees, and planting less invasive species whose roots go straight for your sewer lines. Oh yeah, and don't get me started on all the female gingko trees in this town. Another related link: American Forests.

Posted by jimbo at 9:43 PM | Comments (10)

save vs. spell, go straight to hell

Woo-Hoo! Got a lot done last night for my side web job, and today I kicked out a shitload of press releases for the website at work, and a significant amount of pages were completed for this newsletter that's been on my back for months now. I feel good. I have accomplished things this week.

In light of getting shit done, I'll keep it short today. Go visit Dark Dungeons, an online archive of a comic strip produced to instill fear in good Christian kids who show an interest in Dungeons and Dragons. At first I thought it was pure camp, as it was hilarious as hell, so to speak. But the comic strip was actually produced to demonstrate the direct delivery of your soul to Satan should you choose to roll that 20-sided dice. Thanks to Nick for the lead.

Damn, dating is expensive and lately, totally fruitless. I think I will step back from that scene to save up for this and that summer trip. Temple of Elemental Evil and the rugby team are my boyfriends these days.

Posted by jimbo at 4:14 PM | Comments (2)

April 28, 2004

somebody stop me

I cannot fall. I will not fail. I do not fear your bulk nor your strike.
Plus, I have good heath insurance now, so STEP OFF!
GRRRR!
And why are my teammates off-sides? Yep, that's the Washington Monument in the background, and I didn't mess with the picture in Photoshop to put it there either. Pretty cool, eh? Planes from National Airport take off and land right over us when we're playing there, just like in that U2 video 'Beautiful Day'.

Posted by jimbo at 5:00 PM | Comments (8)

brood x is coming

There are tidy little tunnels opening out into our garden. When it rained Monday, the pinky-sized tunnels were meticulously cleared of mud by something. Something is preparing to escape...something is coming...BROOD X.

The Maryland / D.C. area is expecting a swarm of emergent 17-year cicadas. They are waiting for the right temperature and humidity settings, and will soon be out making quite a ruckus. I remember hearing some cicada odd noise, like the sound of your grandma's Buick when the door was left open, back when I was in little league one summer in Wisconsin. Maybe that wasn't Brood X, but I'm pretty sure they were cicadas. Around here, I've already seen robins sampling some of the less wary nymphs who poked their heads out of their holes, and I have found some fortified tunnels out in the garden as well. It should be pretty cool, but I have my earplugs ready.

What if Walt Disney did the sketches for Peterson's Field Guide? Go check out The Strange Menagerie of Carrie E. Graham. I want to see it in a show some time soon!

Posted by jimbo at 11:24 AM | Comments (5)

April 27, 2004

name that tune, please

A request: will some queen in the know tell me the name of and who the hell sings that sappy sugary pop song that samples 'Jack and Diane'? I suspect it's Jessica Simpson, but I don't know the title of the song.

And for the record, I like said song. I'm going to, umm...buy the single. Yeah, that's the ticket. I don't much care for 'With You' or that remake of 'Take My Breath Away' where she can't lip synch to the lyrics because there's too much collagen in her lips.

But she's cute though. Almost cuter than Mitzhi.

Posted by jimbo at 10:55 AM | Comments (7)

nice quiet homos

My high school buddy Trav sent me this story from my hometown online newspaper regarding a protest at my former high school. While the anti-gay slant of the protest is sad, it's funny because I never percieved my high school as remarkably gay friendly, although apparently it is being percieved as such by this group. After a little research, I found out that these protesters are from a small town just across the border from Rockford, Illinois, a well-known stronghold for a Midwest KKK organization. This group in particular is being led by a 'priest' of a Christian church that is "dedicated to educating people about the sinfulness of homosexuality". Imagine, an entire church dedicated to homosexuals. Isn't that ironic? Don't they have other petty issues to deal with, like Michael Jackson, carbs, or the final episode of Friends? (Note: I heretofore declare that the words 'Michael Jackson', 'carbs' and 'Friends' [as a proper pronoun] are banned for the remainder of 2004. i just don't want to hear them uttered again, please.)

Anyhow, apparently this group found my high school listed on a website dedicated to a 'day of silence' for gay/lez/bi/trans/whatever support, so they showed up to state their disdain at a high school. I'm not sure what effect it may have had on me when I was in high school, as I was pretty clueless about sexuality in general at that time. I didn't have sex until I was 20, so it wouldn't have been an issue.

Then this weekend I read this editorial in the Washington Blade. The communications/marketing/educator in me supports this guy's idea that we should work on awareness and knowledge-base building for middle America regarding gay marriage. I have seen this approach work firsthand, and clearly, most straight people don't understand why we want these rights (puh-leez: it's not about the wedding, sweeties, it's about the bennies...and the registry too.). On the other hand, pushing the issue to the forefront makes people think about the issue, albeit aggressively rather than passively. It's a 6 of 1, 1/2 dozen of the other sort of issue. However, I also get the impression that he's a proponent of the "let's be good quiet queers and not bother the straight folks" sort of spineless wimp whom I despise.

The moral of the story is, if you are a good, quiet, down-low, in the closet type of homo, everyone is happy. But if you state your support for homos, talk about your partner, flame out, have a public display of affection, or speak up in some manner, people freak out. I will choose to continue to freak people out.

Posted by jimbo at 10:13 AM | Comments (6)

April 25, 2004

mah feet hurt

Grampaw's feet hurt today. On Friday I was moving large robots and small submarines around to get a museum of student projects ready for Maryland Day on campus. Took it easy Friday night and then got up and came back to campus to do museum duty...lots of standing around and walking to and fro. It went well, but the exhibits were sorta back in a corner of a large building and the visitors needed some coaxing to come back and see it. Mental note: better signage next time. Then I watched a little bit of a Maryland rugby match, went home and planted sunflower, morning glory and acorn squash seeds in the garden.

Took it easy again that night, and watched a very gripping movie about a British mafia gang in the late 60's called Gangster No. 1. While I don't much care for gangster movies or crime dramas, this one was interesting because of the strange relationship between the head mafia dude, played by David Thewlis, and his goon. The goon was played in younger years by the wonderfully psychotic Paul Bettany, and in his later years by a ruthless Malcolm McDowell. The gripping part was that you could never figure out wether the goon was jealous, obsessed or in love with the head mafia dude, even until the end. There was no clear line as to wether it was love or hate between the two, maybe both.

While we didn't win today's match, the matches were competitive, and jimbo got some cheers for aggressive playing. Apparently I need to get like that more often. I got on the ball and was running with it, passed it to a teammate before getting tackled. I didn't go down, but the monkey on my back wouldn't let go either, which I think is illegal or at least bad rugby. There are no piggyback rides for kids over 35, so I knocked him with my elbow to his neck. He wasn't amused, and gave me a few rabbit punches to the back. I think the ref only caught that part, and not my elbow knock, so we got a penalty kick for the effort. He wanted a piece of jimbo for the rest of the game.

Then right after the game it was roll-up time for new characters with the D&D gang. We didn't get any playing in, and again consumed massive amounts of carbs and sugar. My tummy hurts now too.

Posted by jimbo at 10:05 PM | Comments (2)

April 23, 2004

cow fisting on campus and drag kings

Tomorrow is Maryland Day (pronounced 'murr-lun-day' on campus, and it appears that it's going to be like a big carnival. It's an open house where we expect to draw 60,000 visitors. Today large noise making machines are doing their secondary tasks of grass mowing and sidewalk edging all over campus. I'll be there to showcase our temporary museum exhibits of old student / faculty engineering projects, such as an old human-powered submarine and a solar car. I am told you should not miss the cow fisting demonstration. Tard tells me he's gonna bring some of his schoolchillun's to come tour our museum (not the cow fisting) some time next week, which will be fun. Who knew the former park ranger would be giving engineering museum tours?

Hip tips for the weekend: The Great Big International Drag King Show. DC doesn't have much in terms of anything underground, artsy or unusual, but we do have the biggest drag king show in the world. The show (NOT a competition, mind you) piggybacks on the Gender Public Advocacy Coalition National Conference on Gender April 30 through May 2nd. And of course, the hippest, largest and must muscular set of big hips can be seen down at Gravelly Point this Sunday at Noon, when the Washington Renegades Gay/Bi/Tranny/M/T/Z/Q/M/D and Straight Rugby Team takes on the Washington Poltroons old boys. I might be playing a half or something, I don't know right now. Anyway, it's a real purdy field to play and watch rugby at though, along the banks of the Potomac River. It is screaming for a six-pack and a lawnchair. The game is continually interrupted by flights taking off from Ronald Reagan (whutevah) National Airport, I must add.

Friday Fun Page Activity of the Day: find the Action Jimbo in this photo.

Posted by jimbo at 10:22 AM | Comments (6)

April 22, 2004

happy earth day

Hey, in case you forgot in this wildlife refuge-plunderin, blood-for-oil fightin', science redefinin', queer stompin', conservative Christian cock-suckin' Republican administration, it's Earth Day today. With environmental awareness levels as they are these days, all I'm askin' is that you put your recyclables out on the curb, or pick up some litter. Fart lightly if you can, as your ass produces greenhouse gasses. Put a plug in it even, as your mere existence is destroying the universe. Happy Earth Day!

Oh mah gawd...the Earth Day for Kids Superfund page I made back in tha day (1998?) when I was first cutting my teeth on HTML is still up. Rock. That page is older than your kids or your dog. I'm a daddy, and my kids endure.

Hellboy last night was pretty good. Very 'Call of Cthulu' menaces in the film. Read up on yer H.P. Lovecraft if you don't know what I'm talkin' about. Like faceless, nameless horrors of pure entropy and destruction, beyond the realms of good and evil and all that.

Posted by jimbo at 10:09 AM | Comments (4)

April 21, 2004

the legacy of princess di

jimbo circa 1998 or soAll I'm sayin' is, even though the relationship between Princess Di and Prince Horseface wasn't the best, and her death was tragic, THANK GOD FOR HER DOMINANT HOTNESS GENES!!! Her legacy lives on in royal hotness. And jimbo isn't the only former water polo player, as we have learned that certain other Beaverhausen gurls were cute little water babies back in tha day too. But my time in the pool was short, once I discovered my stumpy little arms were no defense against long-limed ectomorphs. All they had to do is dunk me and they were gone with the ball.

Big let-down practice last night. I was cranky, people were cranky, I don't know. I was practicing on the B-side wing in a non-participating position with a backline with no experience. That sucked. Then the more experienced players began confusing the new players with complex John Madden-style plays, with confusing nicknames no less. This was delivered to the new players before spacing and orientation basics were taught. Basics like a defensive back line is flat, and an offensive back line arcs or is at an angle. And they were either paralyzed with confusion or didn't know I have played a few years in the backline, but they didn't listen to me, which pissed me off. And I'm worried we are going to repeat the mistakes we made several years ago, where advanced rugby plays, which are fine for experienced players, are taught to new players before the basics are taught. We spent a lot of wasted hours years ago trying to teach fancy plays without a basic foundation of things like catching and throwing. We jumped the gun big time like that years ago, and suffered for it. Said plays were never implemented as the ball never got past the inside center. I don't want to see time wasted like that again, so I need to remind some of the more enthusiastic backs that are pushing these to focus on the basics for the brand new players. I think they forget what it's like to start in a sport, or have no idea what being unathletic is like.

I'm going to see Hellboy at the Uptown tonight, which should be fun. I keep hearing that it was pretty good.

Posted by jimbo at 10:13 AM | Comments (4)

April 20, 2004

ray-ray is my new pimp

Dear Don:

I have a dilemma. It is allowable to wear shorts where I work during the summer, as it is a fairly liberal work environment. Plus, the heating and cooling systems here barely function, and it is very stuffy indoors.

However, I only have casual summerwear, kakhi shorts and muscle tank-tops, because I am a big giant queen. I'd like to be somewhat 'dressy' here. Is it possible to achieve that in shorts?

In a Tizzy Wearing Tevas,
Jimbo

Frikkin' power went out in Shaw last night at 1:45am, and has been absent in since then. Both the roomate and his boyfriend had to get up at that time, pace around the house noisily and ponder the darkness. I had to make instant coffee this morning, and I made it badly. Ghetto copters flying overhead all morning, as I'm assuming the crackheads on the block are seeing opportunities everywhere. I am whining.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAMUS!!!

I had a nice day yesterday. I was in a really good mood all day. I think it was because I got lots of sunshine and played rugby over the weekend. It really is a big stress reliever for me. Either that or it was the comfort in knowing I'm Ghetto Pimp Ray-Ray's new bitch. I decided I was his new bitch after going out to Remington's on Sunday with Chrisafer to watch Ray-Ray compete in their version of 'American Idol'. Ray-Ray came on after some woofer (and you WILL introduce me to him, Ray) performed 'Faith'. Paula was impressed by his charisma, but not the vocal performance. Ray fared much better, workin' the crowd with his cut torso after one of his booty girls came up and tore his shirt open. Usher, look out.

All arise and be aroused by Father Jocko Homo, for spreading the faith and preaching for that rugged pup look.

Posted by jimbo at 9:44 AM | Comments (7)

April 18, 2004

chad made me do it

I feel run over, hung over and sore today, but it was a fun weekend had by all. Friday was a bit crazed from running from work to get home and prep the house for my lovely visitors, followed by a date with a woofer that went a bit longer than expected. Great dinner at Tunnicliffe's (sp?) Tavern on the Hill, where another teammate manages. I rush home again to recieve Minxy and Sor from the Gotham rugby team.

We played an A- and a B-side match against the NY team. Sadly, I did not get the opportunity to smoosh Chad, the paragon of intensity, as he was on the A-side game. I played pretty well on wing in the B-side game, which was a little too close for comfort by halftime. I got my hands on the ball twice but was pushed out of bounds both times, but I did some good support to fast runners going for the goal line. Fitz and Will showed up for the first time and had a good time, and a certain Beaverhausen gurl was able to meet the Minx as well.

Then another notorious Gotham/Renegurls 3rd-half social, to go down again in infamy. Mitzhi showed up (this is my favorite pic of her for all time, hands down, a total profile pic if you ask me), as well as Chrisafer and some of the geek posse. By this time my bonk to the head was starting to show up, and is still as pretty today. Fitz and Will were having a good time too. I got to get to know a certain adorkable rugger from New York while trying to explain to him in a drunken haze that we are just as slutty as their team, it's just that we're more subtle about it. It's all about keepin' it on the down-low here in DC, at least until the beer starts flowing.

And it did. Suddenly Chad declared, "All the backs should take their shirts off!" So we did. People got more friendly with each other, and were pouring out the front door of the bar, mounting ruggers and scooters without their keys and similar tomfoolery.

Tonight I'll be goin' with Chrisafer to watch the latest phenom in karaoke, Mr. Coolrelax himself. Hopefully there'll be some pics, but I promised to respect anonymity, and I will, you'll see.

Posted by jimbo at 5:20 PM | Comments (7)

April 16, 2004

don't call her a bear, part II

I read a funny story in The Advocate this morning, Why I'm Not A Bear, by Richard Goldstein. Sure, he looks like a bear, but doesn't want to become anyone's fetish item. Good point.

Can't miss pick of the week: Mr. Robert Van Winkle to perform at Gallaudet University. For those of you not in the know, R.V.W. is Vanilla Ice, and Gallaudet is an institute for deaf people and the study of sign language. Word to your mother, in A.S.L. please.

Posted by jimbo at 1:38 PM | Comments (1)

April 15, 2004

gettin' smacked around

I had a great practice tonight, or at least I thought I did. At least it felt good anyway. I was focused, made a few good tackles, got smacked around a bit and it felt good. That means I'm not shy about the tackles, I think, gettin' smacked around and not being shy about it. You sorta can't really play rugby and worry about gettin' smacked around. You sorta need to get smacked around with gusto, you know? Anyway, I had some good runs too. The highlight of the evening was tackling practice with super-tight bodied new cute guy with thick furry legs. There is also a new scruffy guy there too. And no uptight Republicans on the team told me how homosexuals need to behave tonight either, which made for a good practice. I tried as hard as I could to be an obnoxious homosexual, but nobody noticed or said anything, dammit.

Chad arrives tomorrow night. I'm all stocked up on Cap'n Crunch and Lactaid, so he should be a happy camper and well fed for Saturday's match.

My buddy Travis from high school back inna day (we were both in the Crips gang in our Wisconsin high school) sent me this link the other day. It's a pretty PDF document of homo demographic data for the District of Columbia. How a busy breeder dad of two boisterous red head kids found this is beyond me, but I digress. >; )

Anyway, it's interesting to note that I am approaching the age range demographic of major queer coupling. It is also interesting to note that although the population of DC is primarily African-American, the majority of people who claimed they are queer were white. This is explained by the 'down-low' phenomenon of the African-American gay male community, I'm guessing. According to the colorful map, I live in a very queer 'hood. The other queer 'hood is Capitol Hill. 19% of the queers in DC have children under 18 years old in their household. That would mean that they have either adopted, turkey basted, or have retained kids from their hetero relationships. They are raising children.

Posted by jimbo at 11:14 PM

strange flaming yellow orb

There is a strange flaming yellow orb in the sky today that threatens to burn my skin. I vaguely recall it being there a while back, but I haven't seen it in a while. It makes me feel pleasant, however, and I hope it remains there for a while.

I had a nice date last night...he was very cute and fun to talk to. I would definitely not call him a bear, but he was still somewhat furry in a cute juvenile mammalian sort of way, so I'll stick with the label I gave him yesterday for anonymity on this blog: Cute Baby Squirrel. Here at jimbo.info we hope to be writing positively and more frequently about Cute Baby Squirrel in the near future.

But we'll have to see. While I am probably too open and gabby during a date, and I don't read vibes very well at first, and he was kind of reserved as well. That's OK...dating is hard work and often awkward and uncomfortable. It is not easy to sit down and chat with people you have never met before.

Anyhow, Cute Baby Squirrel is smart and does his homework too, as he obviously read the fine print on my Friendster profile that said I like facial hair. He showed up rather scruffy, looking like a brown-haired version of Seth Green. Mrrrowr. He's sporty too, running marathons and such. Mrrrowr2.

Posted by jimbo at 10:14 AM | Comments (4)

April 14, 2004

hip tips of the week

This week, don't miss:

WYSIWYG Talent Show. "The Dope Show." Tonight, 7:30pm at P.S. 122 in New York City. Bloggers presenting readings about their drugged up & cracked out experiences. To give you an impression of the presenters, I applied for the show and didn't make the cut.

Renegades Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual, Transgender, Metrosexual, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, and Intersex (and did I say GAY GAY super-duper GAY?) and All-Inclusive Rugby Club vs. the NYC Gotham Knights (KIND OF GAY) Rugby club. Hot rugby action - real jocks. Saturday, Noon. Colmar Manor Park. Hormone & endorphin-fueled, beer-induced debauchery to follow at Hamburger Mary's, 'round 3pmish.

Under a Big Top. Varla Jean Merman. Saturday, 8pm. Carnegie Institution - 1530 P Street, NW. Very good drag queen and comedian. My roomate asked me to spin it on my blog, but da bitch won't get me free tickets.

Posted by jimbo at 2:28 PM

cate's twin brother thomas

Whenever I see pics of Thomas Jane I think he should be Cate Blanchett's hunky twin brother. They've got the same full pouty lips, but he has a furrier chest and bigger biceps. Rrrowr. Perhaps they could play the Wonder Twins in a cinematic adaptation of the Legion of Super Heroes? Just a thought. Who would you cast in a live action Justice League movie?

When someone tells me, "Yeah, I'm 'out'," I often wonder...in what context? Out in the NoVA sense of the word, as in "Yeah, I've never said anything about it but I'm sure they all know," or truly out as in having told someone verbally and clearly "I am gay." There is a big difference between the two. The former allows you to believe you are out, when no one actually knows. The latter puts you out there as an identifiable gay person. Big difference.

Sorta kinda practice last night, indoors talking about plays and watching videos of old matches. I wanted to run. It's been raining for like 3 days now, or maybe it's just felt like it. I'm getting squirrelly. OH! Speaking of squirrels, I saw the cutest thing this morning...cuter than a little bear cub even...a mama squirrel was relocating a very teensy tinsy young squirrel (cub? squirellet?) in her mouth to a new nest. Either that or she was an evil cannibal squirrel taking recently acquired prey to her lair for a morning snack.

Got a date tonight with a cutie from Greenbelt. Yes, this DC DuPont (well, Shaw, actually) queen is officially dating outside the Beltway. He's much cuter than what I would normally date, as in no broken nose, scarring or rugged jawline. Cute like a baby squirrel cute, which is odd for me. Rugged date is not until Friday, former military, flattop, and very open and honest on the phone which was very refreshing.

Speakin' of Cate Blanchett, all this dating makes me feel kinda like Galadriel today:

"In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!"

Cue wind effects blowing around me in a nimbus of raw power, eyes aglow.

Posted by jimbo at 10:16 AM | Comments (8)

April 13, 2004

straight talk on dungeons and dragons



Finally got the last shipment of books from our lovely benefactor Jeff to complete all the new edition conversions for our next D&D campaign. All of their characters are at such high levels that I can't kill them anymore, so we have to start over at a lower level. The gang has decided to be a freaky bunch this time around and have chosen characters such as an earth element dwarf druid, half-dragon, air genasai monk and psionic half-giant. Can't anyone role play a simple elf or human fighter anymore? Freaky geeks.

In a recent comment, Nert asks: "How do you actually play D&D? Forgive my ignorance, but is it a board game?"

Well, Ed, that's a good question. Especially considering that the ultra-Christian bigots and uptight self-hating facist Republican fuckheads are probably going to start hunting down D&D players like they are with the queers, jihad-style, like they did back in tha day, I think that's a rather timely question. Oh, there I go again bashing Republicans and ultra-Christians. I keep doing that a lot lately.

Anyway, back to your question, Ed. Dungeons and Dragons is a lot like Monopoly, without the board but you still use those little pewter miniature pieces. In addition to property and money, your little characters also have personalities, physical and mental statistics and career and skill focii. Each player has these statistics in numeric form on a sheet, then acts out that character with me, the game facilitator, and the other players. To continue the Monopoly analogy, the 'Dungeon Master' (me) is basically the banker, the game facilitator, doling out awards (treasure, experience points, death) and meting out punishment in the form of evil opponents and offering scenarios that the players must get through. Instead of going 'round and 'round on a Monopoly game boardwalk, the characters travel across worlds and towns, meeting friends and enemies while trying to gain power, wealth and prestige.

Most of the players in my group are in their early- to mid-thirties. Clearly the geek factor is not enough to keep 'em coming back to play every other week or so for a 6-hour time period. So we try to keep the role playing more silly, catty or more mature. And with a mostly-gay gaming group, the interaction can get pretty interesting. I try to encourage the player's characters to have motivations, goals, fears and unique personalities. For example, in the most current game that we will be ending soon, we have a nympho monk who is afraid of snakes, a closeted gay bard with a small dick, and a thief who is constantly tempted by the powers of shadow.

Also keep in mind that most of us in our gaming group are totally coked up on Oreo cookies and Dr. Pepper the whole time we play, which adds to the latent Attention Deficit Disorders in the group, making for some very unfocused but extremely social gaming sessions. On particularly bad gaming nights, we'll talk a lot about tricking, going out, who's doing who, or the latest movies for up to half of the gaming time. I must often yell "FOCUS!!!" to bring us back to the game. Imagine a big hyper gay bridge club on too much caffiene, with gay men instead of old ladies (although we often act a lot like gossipy old ladies).

In short, it's an excuse to get together and chat, be creative, and have fun. There are some things that we are not or that we do not do, contrary to popular belief. I'd like to dispel some of these beliefs:

Posted by jimbo at 10:42 AM | Comments (13)

April 12, 2004

the cutest little bearcub

~ ring ~ ring ~

I'm sitting on the porcelain throne this morning delivering my gift to the world and I'm thinking, "Damn, who the hell is calling me at 8 a.m. on a Monday?"

When all is clear, I check the message, an excited one from Bubba who's at some party in Palm Springs this weekend. It's 5 a.m. there on the west coast. The message is roughly two minutes long. I'll run out of space if I transcribe the entire ramble, but he does tell me, "Ohmigawd gurl, I saw J-Dub and he's just the cutest little bearcub." So there you have it. J-Dub is the cutest little bearcub. And I have a feeling that as I write this, said little bearcub is still shakin' it somewhere in Palm Springs.

I'm not holding my breath for Cherry 9 which is coming up soon. I don't recognize any of the DJs and I don't feel like the Sunday night party is that spectacular that I should take the following Monday off in order to attend. I vowed last year to give it a try, but I volunteered to do rugby work duty for the party on Saturday, which will get me a free pass in on Saturday night. People are a bit uptight at the Saturday night event, and then loosen up by Sunday, but uptight is a relative term in this city.

Introducing: Homer and Dooce. Homer is a woofer from Arizona who I'd love to meet in person some day. Dooce hasn't e-mailed me back yet, but I found her blog thru EarlGurl's blog. She is also somewhere out west. I'd set Dooce up with Mighty Jimbo, but she's already got a cute husband, cute kid, and cute pets. She writes very well about them all.

Posted by jimbo at 10:15 AM | Comments (1)

April 11, 2004

happy easter!

Raise Dead
Conjuration (Healing)
Level: Cleric 5
Components: V, S, M, DF
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Dead creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)

You restore life to a dead creature. You can raise a creatre that has been dead for no longer than one day per caster level. In addition, the subject's soul must be free and willing to return. If the subject's soul is not willing to return, the spell does not work; therefore, a subject that wants to return receives no saving throw.

Happy Easter! Today I met up with Todd, Seamus, and Jimmy for some Easter brunch at Annie's. I wore my official Peeps hat and shirt, and Seamus brought a phallic Easter basket to share with everyone. Again, my afternoon is shot from a few too many big gurl bloody marys.

Last night's Blowoff was fun, and a bit more diverse than ususal, like how it was back in tha day on U Street. While I like the alternabear™ contingent that frequents Blowoff with regularity now, it's also good to see an occasional queer punk and and the pretty ones who are taking a break from the JRs scene, which is good to see happen. Super-dreamy man from the gym with the jawline that could cut wood was there, but my big pink heart for him burst when I saw him light up a cig. Total turn off. Well, maybe after a chlorophyll-spearamint mouthwash gargle I could go there. I got to dance for a bit and had some yummy Guiness too.

During the day I got what I needed to get done, washing my new sheets, workout, and some garden clean-up before the rains start next week. Lots of playing Temple of Elemental Evil PC game, which I've had for over a year but am now only just getting around to playing. It's a nearly identical computer adaptation to the old skool Advanced Dungeons and Dragons role playing game from 1985, which I've run with two separate gaming groups. Although it's set in the Greyhawk campaign setting, I may adapt it for our next Forgotten Realms adventure.

In the game, you start out with up to five characters you've created, and can add members you meet along the way. In the pirate town of Nulb, I came across an openly gay D&D character, Bertram the gay pirate! He was one of the pirate bringand mob's cabin boy bitch, whom you can rescue by offering to take the guy off an abusive boyfriend's hands. He's only 1st level though, with pretty wimpy stats, and he's stealing everything when we polish off the bad guys. I had my 1/2 elf bard Connor marry him. My human female monk Arien is now jealous of Connor. The pious cleric Peller wants nothing to do with the drama, and my 1/2 orc sorceress Bubbles thinks it's funny. The 1/2 elf druid Rowan believes it's natural and that we should encourage diversity in the party, because the main issue here is stopping the Temple of Elemental Evil, not stopping a committed relationship. Fantasy mirrors reality, and vice verse.

Posted by jimbo at 3:31 PM | Comments (1)

April 10, 2004

paas the dutchie

Up at an unprecedented 8:30 a.m. on a Saturday, so I'm not gonna waste the day. This is going to be a catch-up and relax weekend, as there is nothing on the calendar thus far. Perhaps some garden prep, cleaning up some brush from last fall, workout, and a bike ride. It's supposed to rain tomorrow, so I'll take advantage of the clear day to be under the sun. Oh yeah, I'll use that PAAS Easter egg coloring kit that has been sitting around since last year too.

Posted by jimbo at 10:06 AM | Comments (1)

April 9, 2004

drag is king

I forgot to add this bunch on yesterday's pro-trannie rant. Great bunch of guys. And don't miss the Great Big International Drag King Show on May 1st. I LOVE their Matrix take-off marketing pic, accurate down to the sunken cheeks on the white Fishburne wanna-be.

And to all mah peeps, a Happy Easter weekend to you all:
marshmallowpeeps.com
Peeps Show
From the same site above, popular desktop images.
Peeps Research

Had lunch with both Chrisafer and Kia today, and we all get along cuz we don't fight over men. Kia likes 'em lithe and twinkish, Chrisafer likes 'em a bit taller than Kias does, and I likes 'em a bit thicker and dumber-looking than theirs.

Damn...I keep coming across this blog, and I keep getting blown away. He's sayin' it like it is concerning problems with crystal meth. Read on...

Posted by jimbo at 10:12 AM

April 8, 2004

bend it

Bleaargh. I'm feelin' like shit today. But probably not as bad as this guy is feeling. Sore all over, probably from rugby, but possibly from Blowoff-related-SARS-syndrome, which seemed to plague a bunch of folks last week. I feel hungover without having drank, and can go from 60 to naptime in 5 seconds. Or maybe it was the 1/4 chicken I had at 9:30 p.m. last night, that allowed my brain to be fully awake and dreaming hard until 1 a.m. when my body was shut down and trying to sleep. I'll take as many naps as possible today and see if I'm up for rugby practice tonight.

So I'm at home today in a Victoria's Secret nightie (black lace) and leopard print fuzzy slippers watching soaps and eating bon-bons a la Peg Bundy. No, I'm not playing hooky because I just got my hands on a copy of the new D&D Player's Guide to Faeršn, or because I'm terribly excited about the D&D Expanded Psionics Handbook either.

DC Home delivery review for the newly carless: Bergmann's cleaning does a great job on oriental rug repair, rug cleaning and dry cleaning for your clothes. Pickup and Delivery is on-time, reliable and the cute deliveryman is friendly and communicative. Peapod home grocery delivery was also reliable, but the online order form took a bit of practice at first. However, with a $10 home delivery charge, you might as well just do your shopping at Safeway and take the taxi home. Or save the service for those 'big items' like spring water and laundry detergent that you don't want to haul around the store and back home.

Still a bit uneased by that dude's comment at practice the other day that I commented on in the last post. I guess no class or group of people is without its members who stereotype themselves and others, no matter how oppressed. At my age I shouldn't be surprised that some gays still feel that way, but I guess I am still naive about such things. Maybe I just assume most members in a community are somewhat like-minded, but I still get caught off guard. I think I have a fairly wide-open interpretation of gender roles, how each of us can behave, and societal expectations of ourselves. Even before I came out at age 20, I never subscribed to the rules of how a man or woman have to conduct themselves based on sex or orientation. I danced like a big 'ol queen at our junior high dances, I wore peach and black when "U Got The Look" came out because I thought it was cool, and I wore flip-flops during little league practice. I just didn't care, and no one (not even my mother) ever told me I shouldn't do what I did, and I didn't think any one person should or should not wear or do this or that based on gender. I guess I had a blessed youth. I like how this progressive group, the Gender Public Advocacy Coalition, thinks and works on the topic. No one should have to behave in a certain way based on sex, gender, or gender-identification. If the American public would just ease up on sex, gender and orientation issues, we could one day move on to more important issues of the world.

I have a friend who is some kind of finance lawyer downtown, with whom I went to a hockey game last year. I think we were both bored with the game, but it was a fun date. He's got hilarious pics of himself in drag on his Friendster profile, but by day you wouldn't know it, as he's in the whole DC lawyer monkeysuit get-up. After the game during dinner, I asked him about his pics and why he does drag, and he replied, "I like to fuck with gender, it's fun." I recommend you try it sometime...you'd be very surprised at what friends have a problem with it, or which ones are alarmed that you've gone out in a dress. It's something I bring up regularly on dates as a litmus test on tolerance. My best friends are freaks, and I am too. However, I strongly believe that heels are very bad for your spinal column, and I don't believe anyone should have to wear them on a regular basis.

And to close this rant, I again reiterate the phrase "A straight person wouldn't have said such an obnoxious comment," to illustrate a point. A straight former teammate audibly farted on a regular basis during practice ("That's a ripper!"), vomited before each match ("Get's me in the mood for a game."), and belched as much as possible at the post-match socials. That's pretty obnoxious, but that was his thing, and we loved him for it. And let me point out another obnoxious jimbo, the mighty straight version, who is celebrating his 2nd anniversary of blogging obnoxiousness.

Despite my sickiness, I'm also feelin' a bit like Posh Spice today...somebody send me a racy text message. Careful clickin' on the link at work now. Sure, it's a photomanipulation and you won't see a bod like that on a soccer player, but with a hot tub laced with Rogaine and a few good meals one can only hope.

Posted by jimbo at 11:45 AM | Comments (1)

April 7, 2004

shallow catty nasty

shallow tip of the week: JCPenny.com is having a killer white sale on their online store. I hauled in a fabulous deal on a new duvet cover and sheets. Do not miss it.

under armour jock studcatty comment of the week: jimbo predicts all the "jock" gurls will be wearing under armour this summer and at the gym. at present, all the beefy kids at the university gym are already wearing the stuff. if you have hot pecs, they look damn good on ya. did you know: under armour is based in baltimore, maryland. the company is owned by a former university of maryland graduate, and its clothing line was featured on the beefalicious characters of the now defunct ESPN series that i loved, playmakers.

nasty exchange of the week: well, yesterday's blog entry of course, which used up almost all of my nasty for the week. i converted it to 'draft' status though, as it was probably more constructive to write to myself than it was to post. so i'll report on another nasty exchange from practice last night between me and someone who i find out later is the boyfriend of a republican ex-congressman - from my former district no less. they make good baked pies in his hometown, fyi. anyway, the discussion during warm-up was about who is hosting whom for the upcoming weekend visit by the NYC team, and the name of one gotham rugby player comes up, whose nickname is 'turtle'. i confirm the speculation as to the origin of his name, as i had seen the turtle effect with me own eyes. later on, cheesehead's boyfriend pipes up:

Him: "So are you not straight?"
Me: (taken aback...is it not obvious - and who gives a shit?) "Umm...I'm gay."
Him: "Figures. A straight person wouldn't have said such an obnoxious comment."
Me: thinking...well, nice to meet you too, asshole. and for the record, my brother is straight and would have said something equally obnoxious, so would a lot of my straight friends. come to think of it, plenty of straight guys on this team can say obnoxious things too. we don't have the corner on the obnoxious market, honey. gotta love that self loathing and stereotyping.

Posted by jimbo at 10:58 AM | Comments (7)

April 6, 2004

ass melding

I survived practice this evening, and even had fun doing it. The sprinting and the running drills weren't too bad, but the telling part was my anaerobic recovery time, which is at a definite all-time low. You know your ae recovery is bad after a quick sprint to tackle or get the ball, then you have to do it again and the muscles in your legs just say "no." Jelly, much like jelly. At one point my glutes felt like they were morphing together into a single unit, which would be bad for future dates. But they just felt like it, they didn't really meld together as I had feared. It was just a cramp in my undersprinted ass.

I was surprised to hear more than a few "welcome backs" from the small group of players I know that are still on the team. I didn't think anyone had noticed. It was good to see Rai, who dubbed my car the "Escape Pod" because it looked like a Ford Escape and I used it to escape the Death Star during my breakup way back when, and he took me in for a few weeks.

It felt good to run and play with a purpose again. I just feel like a hampster on a wheel at the gym, and that gets old. I gotta exercise for a purpose, or it just isn't fun. There were at least 30 players, many of them quite good. The match against the NY team is in two weeks. One veteran said that we are going to beat them, but as I recall the last time they were pretty pissed that they lost, and I thought they put up a good fight. I don't think it will be an easy match, as they are hungry for a win against us. I'm hosting one of their members, Mr. Minxy, who I have never met but have been e-mailing for quite a while. I got him addicted to rugby like Whitney is to crack. Rugby is for poor people. We don't do that. Rugby is whack.

Fitz and Will: you have been summoned. You are encouraged to come to the match against the New York Gotcham Knights. It is high time you come to a match, and the team president says so too. If I play at all, it'll be on the B-side, which is fine according to my jelly ass' complaints at the moment. I'm currently waiting for my laundry to get done so I can take a shower without blasts of cold water during the warm wash cycle. Then I can wash off that familiar and friendly dirt-sweat-clover smell off me.

Posted by jimbo at 11:44 PM | Comments (2)

hamburger feet

Removed grumpy rant. It might have something to do with the fact that it's now afternoon and my coffee buzz has worn off.

Going to rugby practice tonight with Rai. It should be fun, but it should also be challenging to haul my extra poundage back and forth over the pitch. I should sleep well tonight, but I'm worried my pink virginal feet, no longer calloused from last season, will be raw meat tomorrow. Ugh.

Posted by jimbo at 3:00 PM | Comments (1)

April 4, 2004

pixie and mitzhi go shopping

Despite having a crazed Friday morning at work, I managed to conserve enough engergy to make it through a birthday party for a freind of a friend and all their friends that evening. The guy across the table from me was being really nice and said he'd introduce Chris Crain to me! I heart Chris Crain! And to my left was a guy from Wisconsin who had been out to many of the events and bars in Madison, albeit at a different period. He's a nurse wo does some time in DC for short nursing gig, lean with a sufficently furry chest as far as I could see. Adorkable, and rides bikes too, so he got the digits. He was fun to talk to, or it may have been the 3rd margaria.

I got to bed at a decent hour that night in order to go on a much-needed shopping with Mitzhi Saturday morning. We went to the thrift-o-rama Filene's Basement, amongst a gaggle of other shopping queens. She is a PRO at shopping, prioritizing my needs, zeroing in on colors that match my skin tone, and telling me I wear too much plaid and I should avoid it. So we ended up getting a sexy forest green button-up disco shirt and a pink plaid dress shirt, because she said everyone looks good in pink. We turned town the pink prada jump suit set though.

Massive cleaning during the day, including sweeping everywhere and my half-of-the month bathroom cleaning. It's lookin' much better now when we clean it every other week, instead of every once in a while.

Then off to Nation with Seamus and Todd, thankfully, all the big gurls had gone out the Saturday before for Nation's 5th anniversary, which is a pretty big deal for nightclubs in this city. That's like 30 in straight bar years. So their absence made for a more roomy dance floor, with a wide variety of attendees. I danced with twinky, Daddy, leather, muscular and even polite women many a times that evening. Anyhow, a friend of mine was spinning, and he was puttin on happy music with lyrics, which was good. I made it up to the 2 1/2 hour mark and got bored, and the music was getting screechy, so I had to go. But wouldn't mind having coffe with Henry, the cute muscley tall guy with movie star hair and blue eyes and a killer smile. Sorry I lost you after our chat...I had to go shake it on the dance floor.

Recovered enough to get out and play a round of D&D with the gang. They managed to hound the vile black dragon wyrm into the swamps and pummeled it to a magically enhanced pulp by the 18th level monk in the party. They got a nice big blue diamond, a strange magical iron house model, and an axe lined with rime to figger out what to do with.

Posted by jimbo at 10:58 PM | Comments (8)

April 2, 2004

just listen to mitzh

Mitzhi makes the hip pick of the week, Varla Jean Merman at Laugh Out Loud. But I knew that cuz like my roomate does the whole damn thing and picks up the drag queen at the airport and all that. That's how connected I am, so back off gurl. 'Cept when you're taking me shopping, then I'm all yours.

So like, Mitzh is so hip she contacts the Washington Blade and proactively suggests a Gawker-like DC-oriented gossip blog for their website. A few months later, one appears on the Blade website, sans Mitzh, written instead by some twink who's clearly hooked on phonics. This blog has been described as "unreadable" by some, especially when it was put into print, for which a blog was never intended. Now I can't seem to find the thing on the Blade's site. Shoulda left it to Mizth in the first place.

i ' heart ' Chris Crain Even so, I still heart the Washington Blade's editor, Chris Crain, even though he rejected one of my editorials. Last year at the Cherry opening party I caught myself gawking at him for what I thought was 20 minutes or so, or maybe that's how long it felt like I was gawking at him. He's like 7' tall, blonde like they are from my hometown, and rather beefy for such a height, so he must know how to cook too. And when I was at the HRC protest last month, I noticed he had grown a rather nice beard. Wuuuf. Send him my love and the details about what a good kisser I am.

Umm...the coffehouse review was already done, punkin'. Again, due in part to Mizhi's keen nose for the parent-supported hipster crowd. Just listen to Mitzh, OK?

Posted by jimbo at 1:59 PM | Comments (2)

April 1, 2004

neneh cherry

Umm...'scuse me? How come I never heard that my webmamma kiri was in a show in NYC? worst.sex.ever. Now, when you say you're doing something like a show in NYC, you have to say it a certain way. "I'm doing a show next month at the ____." Anyhow, my gurl kiri was in a show and didn't tell me. Shame on her. I'd love to hear from Uffish to see how it went, but I can't find his/her dang e-mail on his/her dang site, dangit. Is he/she a boy or a girl? And next time, to all you bloggers who I've already met in NYC who did this show, you may get more people to your show if you market it, as in like letting the rest of the world know about it. Shameless, be shameless about it!

However, there is a risk that if you got a bunch of DC bloggers on stage talking about their sex lives, there wouldn't be anything to talk about. I think the show last about 10 minutes. Or no one would want to 'fess up that they either had sex or did drugs, as it would show up on a security clearance form some day.

But I did find this on her site. Al Roker has a blog. That rocks on some gastric bypass level. Bad photo gallery though...the pics don't show up, and I can't find the one of Matt Lauer as J-Lo and Roker as P-Diddy. That one cracked me up.

Perhaps something like worst.sex.ever. could be done in DC? The creative scene is lacking in this town for sure, and people are starving for intelligent, non-political theatre that doesn't involve naked men singing. Most of the gay theatre in DC is cheap mindless crap that produces high ticket sales due to someone taking off their shirt at one point or another during the show. I'm more of a Cherry Red Productions sort of guy anyway.

On that note, the cherry blossoms are full-on, and I'm not feeling a thing. Some of my friends are devastated by allergies this time a year, but due to my eternal prescription to Allegra, jimbo is feelin' fine. Shite, Cherry 9 is at the end of this month. Time to work on crunches. Morel played some Neneh Cherry mixie last Saturday at Blowoff, which rocked.

Posted by jimbo at 12:28 PM | Comments (8)