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March 23, 2004
2004 banned profile words & phrases
I didn't feel like writing today, but then I read Dogpoet and now I can blog again.
In line at the DMV, we are forced to rub elbows and asses with people we wouldn't normally choose to hang out with. In front of me was a man who was so drunk he didn't know which line to stand in. Behind me was a woman whose cell phone ring was a couple measures of some unintelligble gospel song. It kept going off loudly...at least 8 times during my stay in line. Behind her were two gentlemen whose gum-chewing took me back to my younger days in Wisconsin. I was reminded of holstien cows chewing their cud furiously and loudly.
But I got through, surrendered my tags, and later had a nice long lunch at Annie's with Ghiruelle. I should just give up bringing my gym bag when I meet her up for lunch, as cocktails at noon are rarely a formula for motivation afterwards.
I got sucked into the match.com personals after their physical attraction match thingy was just too strong of a marketing draw. But I'm noticing a few things with most of the people I see on there. First, there sure are a lot of laid-back, masculine guys out there whose sexuality doesn't define them. Umm folks, your ass is being defined at the moment by conservative lawmakers who would like to legislate your str8 acting self back to the dark ages. Second, there are a few phrases that are just a bit overused. If you have a profile anywhere - on AOL, Bigmuscle or match.com - try to make your profile unique by avoiding the following phrases:
- laid-back: I can't believe there are that many guys in DC with type B personalities
- straight-acting/masculine: what makes you so sure? And what is straight-acting anyway?
- ranaissance man: no, you are not allowed to give yourself that label.
- decent/grounded/down-to-earth/well-rounded/normal: again, are so you sure? My work in the field suggests otherwise.
- fireplaces, beaches, hiking: I like those too, but strange that I don't see the throngs of gay men, or straight, walking down the beach like the profiles would suggest
- top/bottom: let's figure that one out later, mmmkay?
- "I never know what to say on these things...": no one does, so fabricate like everyone else...just don't use the above phrases
Posted by jimbo at March 23, 2004 9:22 PM
Comments
Are they afraid of their own convictions? I hate when people on our team say that we shoudl try to act less gay when around straight teams. Why? Do they try to act less straight? Should blacks or latinos on the team also try to be more white when we are playing white-only teams (not a rare thing in rugby)?
Posted by: ruggerjohnnyd at March 24, 2004 12:54 AM
How about adding "I don't like queens" to the overused phrase list. I find it funny how the "I am straight acting" phrase is followed by the "no queens" phrase.
Posted by: Burl at March 24, 2004 7:46 AM
my personal pet peeve on personal ads: everyone is a "jock" but no one plays a sport. I'm sorry, abs class is not a sport. The elliptical machine is not a sport. Even jogging is pushing it in my book. Say you're in shape, gym-worked, fine...but a jock is someone who plays a sport, such as, hmm, perhaps rugby?
Posted by: stebbins at March 24, 2004 10:16 AM
I still think one of the greatest profile lines of all time is "Abercrombie Football? Who are they playing? Pottery Barn?"
Posted by: Steve at March 24, 2004 10:32 AM
The team that got "In-ed".
Posted by: sean at March 24, 2004 12:11 PM
I did the "physical attraction thingy" when you wrote about it previously and was very disappointed. It was pretty much wrong, but that's to be expected since there was not one face on there that made me think "wow". There were only three I found "good enough".
They must have some bias against facial hair, or I'm just really picky. It needs more work.
Posted by: rob at March 24, 2004 2:01 PM
Especially if they cannot spell RENAISSANCE. grrrr.
And the team has always had a preoccupation with not putting GAY out there .... *sigh* Some of us tried to change that, and alas, failed....
Posted by: Dan at March 24, 2004 9:27 PM