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February 5, 2004
your horoscope
First off, there's a Renegades Rugby Football Club recruitment event tonight from 6 to 8:30p.m. at Whitlow's on Wilson in Arlington, VA. It's very close to the Clarendon Metro stop on the Orange line. I don't think I'll be going, but there'll be free food and drink specials. If you are interested in learning more about the sport of rugby and playing on a team that plays many real games in a very busy Spring and Fall season, I encourage you to go. If you are interested in tricking with a rugby player, just go to the Eagle, as they're all there on Saturday nights anyway. They're busy when they're practicing, so don't go buggin' them on the field during practice.
I gots me thinkin' about my whoreascope, and how I interact with other zodiac signs. Being a Capricorn, I'm always right, so you can use this as a tried and true guide:
Supposedly I get along with:
Taurus - freaky egomaniacs, usually musclequeens
Virgo - they are always mooching off of me
Scorpio - those gurls make me want to party!
Pisces - usually give me the creeps
Complex Feelings:
Cancer - stay away! All Cancers are evil!
Capricorn - bearded Caps always want to hump me
Strange Attractors:
Aries - most Aries are big 'ol tops
Libra - Libras are scared of me
Incompatible:
Gemini - duplicitous playas
Leo - Divas, all of them, bring on the makeup and the crimping irons
Sagittarius - usually my homies, actually
Aquarius - drama queen perfectionists
Posted by jimbo at February 5, 2004 10:32 AM
Comments
I fuckin' take issue with your assessments of me and my fellow cancerians. pfffft.
Posted by: Nick at February 5, 2004 11:11 AM
Hmmm as a Virgo I vow to bring my own dice next time, more chocolate foodstuffs, and some dark colas.
Posted by: Dwight at February 5, 2004 11:20 AM
Of course you do. Like all subterranian crab people (see Queer Eye / South Park episode) your goal is to overthrow humanity.
Posted by: jimbo at February 5, 2004 11:21 AM
Oh lord, me and my Leo peeps are divas? I think not. Though what would I expect from someone who thinks crimped hair is still in?
Posted by: chrisafer at February 5, 2004 12:00 PM
duplicitous playas??
no, we are not!
yes, we are!
NO, we are NOT!
YES, we ARE!!
(Bitch slaps himself)
Posted by: Cole at February 5, 2004 12:26 PM
I am a Libra and I ain't scurred of you.
Posted by: Ed at February 5, 2004 1:16 PM
I am so sad. After months of nursing my obsession with you and how I'm going to fly out to you and "bump" into you, make you fall in love with me, and get married - followed by tying you up in my basement for our honeymoon - only to find that you hate me, you really hate me.
I don't know what I am going to do.
Posted by: subterranian crab #2 at February 5, 2004 2:24 PM
Like all Cancers, all you will do to me is hide everything from me, reveal nothing, and drive me crazy as I butt my Capricorn horns against your impenetrable subterranean crab creature shell. All you Cancers are alike...nothing but secrets, deception, and evasion.
Posted by: jimbo at February 5, 2004 3:33 PM
LOL - I am a Cancer and don't have a single one of those traits, buddy! However, your description of a Cancer does perfectly describe my ex, a Gemini :o)
Posted by: rob at February 5, 2004 3:38 PM
Ummmm Libras (myself included) are the bomb. Ares are usually hot but f-ed up.
:)
Posted by: Dan at February 5, 2004 3:57 PM
It was my understanding that Virgos were perfectionist,highly analytical, and very carefull in things dealing with friendship, love and work. They also tend to be very artistic and creative.
Posted by: Dax at February 5, 2004 4:08 PM
What about other Capricorns with beards?
-A (12/31)
Posted by: Adam at February 5, 2004 5:04 PM
Libras are afraid of you? I fear no one :)
Posted by: Scott at February 5, 2004 5:38 PM
i'm a taurus so let's GET IT ON!!!!!! okay not really, i mean i am a taurus and all but that's just whack, i am so not an egomaniac, i'm all like grounded and thoughtful of others and nice stuff like that.
Posted by: donald at February 5, 2004 6:08 PM
OK...here comes another Cancerian out of the woodwork. I excuse myself from your notation that all Cancers are evil. Besides...your accounting of Aries seems to be incorrect, too. All the Aries I've known are nothing but big 'ol bottoms...big time bottoms at that! Lock me in a room with you for a couple of hours...I'm sure I'll get you to change your mind. ;-)
Posted by: Corin at February 5, 2004 6:22 PM
"freaky egomaniacs, usually musclequeens" The lady doth protest! We Taureans are best known for our domestic skills and stamina in bed (we may not offer a whole lot of variety but we do offer a whole lot of whatever we think we do best). Yes, we may be proud of our astrological traits but egomania would be overstating it a bit. We're also the hairiest sign by the way... :)
Posted by: Joe at February 5, 2004 8:23 PM
As a member of the Scorpio clan..ha...
Posted by: Jeff at February 6, 2004 12:03 AM
Corin: your flirtrations and promises are merely a scheme to bring me down in some way or another, in typical subterranean crab creature style.
Don: everyone knows you're a top...the fact that you are an Aries is redundant.
Posted by: jimbo at February 6, 2004 10:40 AM
Okay...now I may be a lot of things, but EVIL I'm not. LOL.
Posted by: Ray-Ray at February 6, 2004 1:31 PM
" All you Cancers are alike...nothing but secrets, deception, and evasion"
you say that like it's a bad thing.
Posted by: subterranian crab #2 at February 6, 2004 1:59 PM
Actually, Jimbo...I'm trying to get down *with* you in one way or another. It's not flirtation or some off-the-wall promise. It's a fantasy. Word.
Posted by: Corin at February 6, 2004 2:28 PM
"Aries - most Aries are big 'ol tops".
Hmmm...I'm not an Aries.
Posted by: Bubba at February 6, 2004 2:55 PM
Yeah, but I know yer a perfectionist drama queen, that's for sure. Textbook Aquarius.
>; )
Posted by: jimbo at February 6, 2004 3:10 PM
I'M NO DIVA! Now, where's my caftan? :)
Posted by: Todd at February 8, 2004 4:21 PM