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January 30, 2004

janet, p-diddy, jessica simpson, bubba

What a difference a change in the weather makes. It was a blistering 36 degrees outside yesterday, and I actually felt like working out for the first time in two weeks due in part to the 'warm weather'. I had a great arm workout, but sometimes I had to close my eyes to focus on the workout, and not the scenery. Muscular armpits yearning for my tounge, hard hairy legs flexing as he shifts his weight, fresh masculine buzzcuts...I'm gettin' a Lolita complex here at the U for sure. Once the weather picks up enough where I can bike to the WSC downtown, I'll do that more often, as my workouts will be more focused, albeit with less attractive distractions.

Plus, yesterday my mind just opened up as if it had returned to normal brain matter, having been filled with cold jelly for the past month. I got ideas for a weblog/page redesign, and realized I could use MT or something like it as a content management to suit the requrements of my boss here at work. Funny how I can use this application to blog all the time, and fail to see it as a useful application for work.

And the recipient of the free basketball tickets went to WufPup, who will be using the tickets for a down-to-earth, masc, kickin' back, no fems date with another guy tonight.

Janet, P-Diddy, Jessica Simson, Bubba. All these stars will be on the field this Sunday for the Superbowl entertainment. Props to Bubba for the cool field show gig he landed there...let's all hope he can quit stalking Tom Brady and Adam Vinatieri long enough to do his job. Methinks several athletes will find their jockstraps missing.

My mom is outta control. She's leaving the safe womb of Western Wisconsin for an unprecedented Thelma-and-Louise style trip to NYC in March. I'm hoping it falls on spring break weekend, then I'll have a liesurely opportunity to hang out with The Revered Mother. Perhaps some special behind the scenes trips to famous places could be arranged by some benevolent scruffy blog hunkster who works in the entertainment industry in Manhattan? He'd get the honor of meeting my mom, who's sort of an amalgam of Rose Nylund from Golden Girls and Tim Taylor from Home Improvement.

D&D tomorrow with the gang, then off to Blowoff later in the evening, feat. Bob. Rock on.

Posted by jimbo at 11:20 AM | Comments (4)

January 29, 2004

family portrait

Someone at work gave me two tickets for Friday's Washington Wizards game, and to my horror, I realized I was so deeply immersed in the gay ghetto that I know of no friends of mine who would appreciate going. I don't much care for basketball either, but it would be good to go with someone who does.

Aww...the last time we played D&D, My'ra took a family portrait of our character's miniatures. From left to right: Talon the evil thief/cleric of Mask, Glenndorca ("Bubbles") my 1/2 orc sorceror/barbarian, evil NPC, my blue goblin psion/ranger named "Blue", Kassim the reckless 1/2 elf swashbuckler, Savelle the gold elf paladin of Lathander, and 1/2 elf druid Rowan Deathseeker. The characters are shown trying to pass the Impenetrable Wall of Cheese.
familiy portrait
While I won't be playin' rugby this season, there is a Renegades rugby recruitment event on Thursday, February 5 from 6-8:30pm at Whitlow's on Wilson, in Arlington, VA. Free food and beer! I'm thinkin' Ray-Ray needs a new hobby, so I'm seeing if he wants to come.

Posted by jimbo at 10:41 AM | Comments (5)

January 28, 2004

beer girls wanted

A snapshot of a classified ad from this morning's edition of UMD's student paper 'The Diamondback'. Chrisafer and I will be applying, because we're hot, outgoing, and can pass for 21 in the right light.
I'm hot, and can pass for 21

Introducing: slapmonkey, and his Seann William Scott tribute page. Me and Joe have a secret SWS club (you're not invited) and we like totally have a SWS newsletter and we get together and watch American Pie and Evolution and like totally giggle all night!

Posted by jimbo at 9:15 AM | Comments (8)

January 27, 2004

morbid thought of the day

scruffalicious Seann William ScottSo like a friend of mine sent me this little pic and said 'ohmigawd you look sooo much like Seann William Scott!' and again my ego inflated like a balloon at T.G.I.F. But is it sick that he looks like me and I like totally want to do him? Or just purely narcissistic?

I was just thinking this morning...how long would it take for our cat to start eating my corpse if I died alone in my house and no one was there to feed him? How long would it take for your cat to eat your corpse? I was just thinking...consider it a poll of sorts.

Sundance darling filmmaker Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me is kinda hot.

I have nothing pithy to say today. I handed over the reigns of rage to danblog days ago. Now I'm just going to talk about sex and the weather from here on out.

Woo hooo! They're letting us out at 3pm! Why didn't they just not have work today...it coulda saved a lot of people a lot of hassle.

Posted by jimbo at 1:39 PM | Comments (7)

January 26, 2004

snow day!

'FWOOMPH!' Yaaay, it's a snow day! I'll get my workout today shoveling the sidewalk. Fear not, oh ye neo-rednecks of little faith who doubt my intellectual prowess, I now have more time to study for the GREs, as the testing center on campus was closed today along with the rest of the university. Perhaps today I will redesing my website.

Posted by jimbo at 11:38 AM | Comments (1)

January 25, 2004

Mrs. Kravitz* goes on a rampage

Whee! It's snowing! The stuff that accumulates a lot too! And I have my GREs tomorrow, but I didn't study all that much for them, and they'll probably be cancelled! I feel like a little kid in snowpants and big giant moonboots with a snowmobile cap with the fuzzy on top who gets a snow day from school.

Channelling the rage...focusing the rage...making the rage a positive thing...I live across the street from the enigmatic Shaw property known by many locals as the 'House of Secrets'. The deal is that this old coot rents his house at 507 T St., NW DC 20001 (send hate mail there) out for private parties. When I moved in two years ago, the parties would be on both Friday and Saturday nights. Sometimes I would come home after working a full night at the Green Lantern and someone would be parked in my driveway, or later I would catch someone peeing behind my car.

Then some of the neighbors got fed up with the late night noise, car doors slamming, honking and people peeing in their yards and he kind of settled down for a bit. But he hosted another party last night. Sure, I was up being a whore online and playing CivIII, but what if I had wanted to get to bed at a decent hour? People were hooting and hollering out on the street until 4am. This is zoned as a residential area, I need to add.

Now gay bars in DC are constantly being harassed by the DC administration with threats to having their liquor licences revoked, while this crap across the street has persisted for several decades now. Clearly it is a relic of corruption from the Barry administration...this guy is gaining profit from hosting these events, and I know it is without a license of any sort. Many of us in da 'hood are pissed off, and I for one have had enough of it. BY THE POWER OF QUEERSKULL, I AM MRS. KRAVITZ! No more Mr. Nice Jimbo...I'm going to the next 'hood meeting and we are going to get some things changed in this part of DC.

*There were TWO actresses who performed the role of the neighborhood nosy lady in the television series Bewitched. The original Mrs. Kravitz, Alice Pearce, played her role for two years knowing she was ill with cancer. She posthumoniously received the Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy TV Emmy Award in 1966. The second Mrs. Kravitz was played by Sandra Gould.

Posted by jimbo at 11:16 PM | Comments (5)

January 24, 2004

laundry day poem

Super-duper laundry day,
my skin flakes all vacuumed away.
Last night - yo what can I say?
we're sexually compatible in so many ways.

Tonight it's Enterprise with G-U-R-L,
I need some extra cash,
so here's my URL.
10 hour/week jobbies and all that.

OK, so the poetry broke down in the second measure. What I'm tryin' to say is that while we still love our full-time job at the university, Jimbo can do small private or government contract jobs on the side. Drop me a line if you're interested...I'm cheap by industry standards and I will make your site accessible even to the most inept computer users. I'd like some extra cash for dining out, going to Portland to visit my brother next Christmas, and possibly to London this spring for the big gay rugby tournament.

Yeah, so I'm floundering on rugby/not rugby, but it'd be cool to have the extra cash to enjoy myself while we're there. This current salary has me at about poverty level as it is, so I'm willing to work more for a more pleasant lifestyle. My classes won't start until the fall, so I have extra time to use wisely I do good and fast Web design work, HTML conversion and that sort of stuff.

Yes, hrrrm...we liked last night's date very much. A really balanced, together guy, with his shit all lined up, and wonderfully furry in all the right places. Many +++'s goin' on there with him. Let's hope for more time over in that arena.

Posted by jimbo at 3:58 PM | Comments (1)

January 23, 2004

the badlands

The last two nights I dreamt about The Badlands. The Badlands are a frequently vistited psychogeographical feature of my dreamscape located just outside my hometown in Wisconsin. It is adjacent to the Dairy Queen turkey farm, just south of Zak Spears' rustic mountain cabin (I have a timeshare there with Ray Dragon). I think I formed The Badlands when I was a little kid, as I imagined the places outside my hometown that I had never seen as some kind of semi-desert riddled with sandstone canyons, jack pines, arroyos, bandits, vicious wildcats and ostrich farms. Even though Western Wisconsin is a fairly lush, green area of rolling hills and white oak trees, for some reason I percieved everything that I had not yet seen as something similar to Southern California. When all you watch on TV is Little House on the Prairie and Wild, Wild West reruns, why shouldn't you think such things? To get to The Badlands, all you have to do is drive out of town on Long Coulee Road, past the trailer I grew up in, and over the farthest hill. Once you crest the hill you are in The Badlands.

Anyway, in my dreams the past two nights I was driving through the winding desert canyons under a blue sky with puffy clouds in my brown station wagon, keeping my eyes out for and avoiding malicious gay Republican National Committee employees, who are clearly hiding out amongst the wildcats, bandits and ostriches ready to attack at any given moment. I had my sixguns loaded and ready.

Just had to share. More dreams indicate more sleep, so this is a good thing. Busy day today with appointments to get my cornrows redid, and new lenses for my glasses. Perhaps lunch with Mitzhi, and then later on the date with Woofy McScrufferstein. OmigawdwhatamIgonnawear?!?

Random links: elvish name generator and a good reason to join rugby again. My elvish name is Finw╬ Calaelen, which is cool because Finw╬ is the name of a great elvish hero of Middle Earth.

Posted by jimbo at 9:05 AM | Comments (5)

January 22, 2004

things i need to do soon

I made most of my resolutions during the past year, but maybe I devolped one for the New Year...to be less angry. I think I'm angry a lot, about a great many things. I worry that I've gotten into an angry holding pattern the past couple years, and tend to be angry at external forces, rather than taking responsibility myself and just bucking up and being happier. So that's my resoloution...less angry.

Then there's the more mundane 'to do' list, which is different than a list of resolutions. Most of these things I have to do sooner or later:

Posted by jimbo at 11:33 AM | Comments (7)

January 21, 2004

MT makes WI news

Wisconsin Historical Society Embraces New Web Site Technology.

Hmph. My WI buddy Travis just sent me the above link. Interesting, considering I went through two rounds of interviews with them a few years ago and even got an offer which I turned down in the end ( couldn't leave my lovelies in DC now, could I? ). I remember talking with them specifically about blogging, Moveable Type and blogging technology. To their credit they used such information well, utilizing Moveable Type's category feature to good use. Good for them though for using progressive website technology to enhance such dry information. On Wisconsin.

Now I gotta figger out how to get my web log entries to show up as newly updated on other people's weblogs, like on Toddo's. Can't figger out how to do that. Any suggestions out there? I probably should know this.

Posted by jimbo at 2:07 PM | Comments (3)

just like ann arbor

Sunday night I slept in my sweatpants and sweatshirt under all the blankies. Last night I just didn't want to leave the house again to go to the gym. Too damn cold out. Sorry bud, it's cold and windy here too. Bring yer parka.

But I was actually, truly tired last night by about 10. I had the will power to turn away from all the hottiemacfurry.com sites, and kept away from CivIII. In bed by 11 with earplugs in, and out like a rock. I feel remarkably clear and rested today, despite the weekend's excesses.

Maybe it's that I thought (I stand corrected today) I had finished one project at work, or maybe my insomnia stretch is over. Anyhow, good to be thinking clearly today. And I got a date on Friday with Hottie McFurry on Friday! Yee haw!

I happened to walk in on the State of the Union Speech last night right when W said nothing about marriage except that it's a holy institution and all that shit. Despite my peppy mood today, I know we are all fucking doomed. I don't see any Democratic candidate with the charisma to take Bush out of his seat. They are all watered down buffoons. While I'm all for Wes Clark, I just don't see him pulling it off either. Bush spends more than me, and we are going to be paying for his crazy expenditures for decades. And Bush is gonna get re-elected and nothing is going to move forward for queers, either in the military or for legal protection for civil same-sex unions. Sorry for the gloom, I just think we're in for another term with W, not that I'm for it.

Posted by jimbo at 10:53 AM | Comments (4)

January 20, 2004

riding on the metro

Aaaugh! The week started! Surprised me today. And yep, I'm still caught on this insomnia kick...didn't get to bed until 2am last night. But hey, tonight I'll have to catch the VH1 Where Are They Now or somesuch show at Midnight, cuz it'll feature the reuniting of the band Berlin. Their keyboardist was a lovely hostess during the rugby tournament two years ago, and drove us around when we needed to get on the pitch.

My GRE is a week from today, so I bought a little handy book I can study when I ride on the Metro, which I have gotten used to doing quite well. I'm sooo much more stress free when I take public transport, and I get to read and nap too. Anyhow, I should do well on the GRE. Last week I visited the school of journalism here at UMD. While they have a very cool Masters' of Online Journalism degree here, it's really not available for people who are pursuing advanced schooling while working, so I'll have to check out the lamer school of Communications for alternatives.

Just called the woofer I met this weekend. Naturally, as I left my voice mail message, I forgot what my phone number was. In the presence of True Hotness I become a gibbering idiot. However, I'm proud to say that when I chatted it up with this guy again this weekend, I was able to converse lucidly and remember my name, his name, and the city of my birth even while his chest hair was taunting me from within his vest, unlike the last time I talked to him over a year or so ago. Good Jimbo...just remember that these people are mortal like yourself.

Posted by jimbo at 4:02 PM | Comments (2)

January 19, 2004

i want a pet war elephant

Finally went out to see the last LOTR tonight with my friends Jon and Gabriel. While I was hoping it wouldn't be crowded, the line literally went around the block. I assume the production costs for the film are now paid for. Anyway, it was great, but I agree with my friends who said that the hobbits should just kiss and move in together already. Pippin + Merry, Frodo + Samwise, accordingly, and possibly Gimli and Legolas.

Anyhow, we loved the whole Shelob scene. The animation was just incredible. So were the battles, catapult and like I said before I want a War Elephant for Christmas next year. I'll name him Stampy and I'll ride him to work and feed him and hug him and call him George. Lotsa woofy Gondorian warriors too, and me liked Aragorn with the full beard goin' on at the end.

MAL weekend is over. I moderated my intake of woofiness this year, which wasn't hard as my libido is at a remarkable low lately. I attribute that to the bitterly cold weather and work stress. Anyhow, met a guy I'm pretty keen on at the cigar social on Saturday, then at the dance on Sunday. Got to dance with and do some other things there with him too. The funny part is that his online profile uses the same name as one of my AOL profiles, he lives near where I used to live on the Hill, and spent some time in Wisconsin. He's a computer game addict too. We'll see how that goes. Also sat myself down during a disco break and chatted with a furry Daddy type from London, who played rugby for 15 years, but he wasn't too into the jimbo, sadly. Happened to meet the geekslut as well, who was a very nice guy. I mentioned to Mitzhi the perceptions we have of bloggers until we meet them in person, as in what we read versus what we percieve in person. A lot of people picture Mizthi as this wild Eagle gurl, but in person he's rather reserved, and well dressed of course. Sorta like what Jessica Rabbit once said, "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."

Posted by jimbo at 9:58 PM | Comments (4)

January 18, 2004

snow in dc, elsewhere

Well I'm hopin' the back and ass stop flakin' sunburned skin by tonight so I can take my shirt off. Unless someone is into reptiles (rattlesnake skin, left pocket) I won't be feelin' too hot with my shirt off at the dance. I literally had to vacuum my bed and floor as the flakes had accumulated so badly. Eeeew.

The weekend events have been fun, but I've attended things in moderation as not to be burned out by tonight. Met a lot of old friends, old roomates and various people I haven't seen in a while. Haven't seen the bloggers I had intended to, but I haven't gone out of my way to do so either. Tomorrow I'll go see the last LOTR installment.

Posted by jimbo at 1:20 PM

January 16, 2004

today's jimbo quote

Mitzhi liked yesterday's quote, "I ain't nobody's side dish." And Chrisafer liked today's quote regarding MAL: "I don't need a pretense to be slutty."

New Brawny Man contest. Last year I nominated JDub. Potential nominees this year are Jocko and Bubba.

Posted by jimbo at 1:38 PM | Comments (4)

start me up

Yeah, I've been cranky lately. The cold weather, my burnt ass and general insomnia. If I get to sleep by 1am I was lucky this week...don't know why, but perhaps my clock is still set for holiday vacation. And while nothing bad is really going on with me, I have been disturbed of late of things happening to friends, or self-destructive behavior. The sort of stuff where all you can do is watch. Had a good phone call about it all with my soulpsychicredneck sister Bubba last night, which was cathartic. I probably shouldn't be so empathic, and just get happy doing the jimbo thing and take care of my own business.

But the ass is no longer burning, merely flaking now. No sheets of dead skin, which is good. It is returning to it's normal, pallid color, similar in hue to that of the underside of a toad's belly.

Wow, I'm so impressed with my car. I hadn't driven it for like 5 days or so, and wanted to drive to work today to give it a warming-up because it's been so cold. It started right away with no delay, sputtering or coughing. She's a pain with the payments, but certainly reliable.

Mitzh and I may meet up with the geekslut and possibly drew this weekend, and perhaps I can show the toddo the brand spankin' new cinema in downtown DC next week. Aww...I'm flattered by the idea...but of the three threesome relationships I've seen happen, all of them have ended up back at a satisfied twosome again. They usually begin when one of the initial two is dissatisfied with something...and seeks something elsewhere. Then relationship challenges become cubed instead of sqared (is that right, Corey?). Jimbo likes the idea too, but has yet to even master a relationship with a single partner.

Posted by jimbo at 10:31 AM | Comments (6)

January 15, 2004

shady scumbag man-pigs

Goofing around on the webcam with ICUII last night, I got IMed by a guy whose profile stated that he was from Washington, DC. There was no mention of his marital status. However, after a little investigative web searching which resulted in other profiles found, it turned out he had a partner...and he lives in Falls Church, VA. Honey, Falls Church ain't DC, it's FALLS CHURCH...a totally unhip Virginia ecto-suburb outside even the Beltway. As in an hours' drive from DC. And no jaded ghetto-livin' Shaw-Howard queen like me is going to trek out to the hinterlands for some sex-starved married bear tail. Plus, I am not someone's side dish, I am the main entree. Goddamn shady misleading man-pig.

Which made me think about a buddy of mine who just found out that the guy he was dating was simulaneously dating some other guy out on the West Coast. As in posting a web page with gooey couple pictures and everything for quite some time. I feel bad for my friend, and am very disappointed with the other guy, who I thought I knew well. What is sad is that my buddy was really 100% into this guy. All the way dedicated. This guy he was dating was always a bit distant, evasive, and oftentimes emotionally unavailable, and now we know why. Being duplicitous is hard work...maintaining two separate relationships even harder. Why bother? Honesty is easy and takes far less energy, yet remarkably hard to find in men at times.

I was thinking this morning how lucky I am: I got my health I got my faith I'm in my right mind. I got through a potentially dangerous relationship with the above three items intact. Being single and dating is hazardous...there are so many roadblocks, potholes and road-raged people out there on the dating scene. You really have to be totally cognizant and aware of who you are with.

Don't really know where I'm going with this rant, other than that I somehow feel lucky to have a good sense of what I want and who I am, and the wisdom to see dangerous curves ahead.

Posted by jimbo at 10:42 AM | Comments (10)

January 14, 2004


Chrisafer hits it on the head: word. Go read now. I cannot say it better, but I will try. Did you know residents of the District of Columbia have no official representation in Congress? I live in the District of Columbia (Washington, DC). No, it's not part of Maryland or Virginia. DC is a not-state where people have not-rights. I'm not whining though, I just want you to know that there are people in the United States of America that do not have representation in the political process. Most elected officials don't give a shit about this either. People in Afghanistan now have more to contribute to a democratic process than we do. Think about it.

Posted by jimbo at 2:17 PM

more on meth

More on Meth: "The gay community is completely uncomfortable about stigmatizing a drug. I'm willing to admit there is a subset that doesn't get addicted. For some reason we want to protect that segment of our community. That doesn't make sense, because there is no way of knowing which group you don't fall into." I like what this guy is sayin'. There is a big problem here in the gay community, and while we run the risk of stigmatization or appearing to be just what they say we are (sex-crazed drug fiends), saving lives through awareness and action is worth it.

I've been busy at work and from home. Makin' Websites. Swamped at work this week. I think I need to show my boss a list of all the tasks I have to do, many of which involve hunting down professors to get stuff or information, which is difficult during winter break, as they are not here. I am feeling overwhelmed. Getting stuff from and locating professors is time consuming and similar in difficulty to herding cats. Perhaps radio collar tracking is in order?

Posted by jimbo at 10:08 AM | Comments (3)

January 13, 2004

ancient pre-blog jimbo artifact uncovered

I can't believe it, but I'm still a bright shade of cherry red on several parts of my body. I am also coated with a thin veneer of dried aloe vera gel. I'm afraid it's going to peel, and I'm going to look just precious when I take my shirt off at the Reaction dance on Sunday night (with DJ Chris Cox of Thunderpuss...Cox all night!). I only got about one hour of sleep Sunday night because there were so few positions that were painless, so I skipped outta work on Monday as I was pretty much worthless on Monday. Dumb dumb dumb. I showed the horrid assburn to Gurl last night and she warned me to stay away from any male baboons in the area, lest they be tempted by my scarlet crack.

I had dinner with Bob and the 'mouse last night at the drippingly gay cafe attached to Results, the Big Gay Gym in DC. The food was good and it had the coolest urinal I've ever peed in. It's like this waterfall with changing mood lights that you pee in. I was impressed. Anyway, it was nice to chat with Bob and dish with John, but I couldn't help notice the folks at the table next to us. They were remarkably hyper, anxious and nervous acting...fucking Tina (crystal meth) again. I'm really starting to hate her. When guys in their 30s are squirming like two year-olds at a restraunt (or getting fucked without protection or sleep for 72 hours straight during the course of a weekend) it kinda pisses me off. I guess more of a rant later, and I know I have ranted about the stuff before. It has really become a problem.

My hometown buddy Travis from Madison sent me an ancient pre-blog jimbo artifact the other day...an issue of my summer newsletter I was sending out while I was working in Alaska. It's funny because I had completely forgotten I had written them up, in the newsletter I'm pretty much bitching about the same things I bitch about today, and that I'm still doing newsletters, just in a blog format. Many things do not change I guess.

On the subject of newsletters and such, I've decided I'm going to pursue a Master's Specialization in Online Journalism here at the University where I work. I take my GRE at the end of this month. Since tuition is free, I'd be a fool not to go for it. Initially I had wanted to go for advanced schooling in Resource Management, but the calculus and algebra required spooked me off. Plus, I'd only get such a degree to gain expertise in the subject matter, but ultimately would be doing what I'm doing now anyway, so why punish myself with advanced math? The online journalism approach should be a breeze, considering I've been doing that sort of thing for over a decade.

Posted by jimbo at 10:06 AM | Comments (6)

January 11, 2004

sunburnt ass

Ow. I burned my ass. All by myself. I was so grumpy yesterday, and I'm tired of being ghoulishly white, so I treated myself to a mere 16 minutes in the tanning booth today for some happy rays. The guy at the counter warned me not to go beyond 14 minutes in the 'Ultra' booth. And then I went buck nekkid to boot. Now I'm sorry I did the Ultra sans briefs.

I went to the gym afterwards for a good arm workout, then some time in the sauna. I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror since the tanning booth at this point. People kept leaving the sauna after I walked in, which was unusual. After I showered off, I went to dzuzz my 'do in the mirror. You know the holstein cow pattern on the Gateway computer boxes? Now imagine the black part being red, with that pattern over my entire body. I guess I looked like some sort of horrid food allergy victim, as there were uneven burns all over most of my body. I'm sitting on one of those red blotches right now. Ow. Applying aloe shortly.

In more burnt news, Scruff King Brett Favre made a bad pass during a tie in overtime tonight, so da Packers won't be going to the finals. We are bummed.

Posted by jimbo at 8:46 PM | Comments (10)

January 10, 2004

ancient mummy curse

Millennia ago, Fitz offended one of the ancient Pharaohs by messing around with one of his favored courtiers. The Pharaoh cursed him with eternal life, and never to completely enjoy a performance of any kind without interruption. The curse persists even today...

'Bubba Ho-Tep' was wonderfully ridiculous, but I'll have to agree with Kiri in that there wasn't as much King-Fu performed by Elvis as I had hoped. However, Elvis' character was consistent in his decrepitude. In the end, the adventure truly was about how Elvis was going to stop the evil soul-sucking mummy with what few feeble resources he had at his wrinkled and bejeweled hand. There was also some social commentary about retirement homes as well. Bruce Campbell was present after the screening for a few Q&As, and was a pretty funny guy.

Only a few minutes after the film started, the dang fire alarm went off falsely, and wouldn't turn off for a good 15 minutes or so. The frikkin' strobe light was going to send me into siezures at any moment, so I got up and put my winter cap over the accursed thing, and got a round of applause from the audience. My response, delivered with a rock-n-roll sneer was, "Thank you. Thank you very much."

Posted by jimbo at 1:15 PM | Comments (1)

January 9, 2004

b is for 'bubba ho-tep'

Bubba, Bruce, and Bastards. Yet more issues with the letter 'b': suddenly the film 'Bubba Ho-Tep' is showing in DC. Fitz, being programmed to automatically alert me of and purchase tickets for any mummy film with a title containing the word 'Bubba' immediately purchased tickets for a gang of us for tonight. Bruce Campbell is even going to be there!

And yet, with all the pre-release hype you saw RIGHT HERE on jimbo.info, did the film's promoters let either me or Fitz know of the movie coming to DC? NO. Did they give any special tickets to Jimbo or Fitz for putting up their goddamn ad banner for a month? NO. A little bitter here! Screw all you seedy Hollywood bastards. Yer all a bunch of takers.

Posted by jimbo at 10:23 AM | Comments (2)

January 8, 2004

today is sponsored by the letter 'b'

Bob's got blog. Big Rob did a makeover. Bubba: come to DC for MAL. Bradford is now a bear. Breakups are back in style. Boys on BMW bikes are hot. Boys with bucks are hotter. And the hottest are bad boys like you. And we always love Beaverhausen.

Posted by jimbo at 10:21 AM | Comments (7)

January 7, 2004

parka time

Whoa it got cold real quick last night. All I had on was my Carhartt barn jacket as I walked to the gym. It's still mighty cold today. Parka time. It was good to get back to the workout though...and the scenery warmed me up right quick.

Andre3000Speaking of winterwear, I think I'm going to go as Andre 3000 circa VH-1 Big in '03 Awards show next year for Halloween. Someone remind me like in August next year or I'll forget. Big, furry, fuchsia sleeves and snowpants is all I can say. I'll need a cadre of booty bitches in similar attire. Accepting applications now: must have booty and look good in fushsia.

Dan Savage answers my question from earlier this week in this week's Savage Love: "There are tons of happily married, sexually fulfilled couples out there. If that's the kind of relationship you want, don't settle for a partner who isn't good, giving, and game, and be a good, giving, and game partner yourself." OK I'll do that...right on brotha. And in other Onion news, my other favorite column, Pathetic Geek Stories has moved to its own website.

Posted by jimbo at 10:45 AM | Comments (2)

January 6, 2004

xxoo arizona cowboys xxoo

I wanna do a cowboy. I SWOON! Panchesco.

Posted by jimbo at 11:06 AM | Comments (2)

why zoos suck

When I was a kid, my grandparents would take me to the Myrick Park Zoo in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. Conditions have improved there since then, but back in the day I remember sad, concrete enclosures holding manic, pacing animals with sickly coats and beaten looks. I still loved going there. I especially liked the ducks and the turkeys.

Then I had a lot of park ranger jobs during college and saw critters on my various travels. I got to see animals in real life, out in their natural habitat. Call me a wildlife snob, but it just doesn't compare with a zoo. After seeing a wild orca flip out of the water in Prince William Sound, seeing poor Shamu in his measuring cup enclosure was really sad.

I don't go to the National Zoo much. Zoos depress me and according to the Washington Post, they have a long history of incompetence. I keep my enclosed wildlife viewing limited to the Amazonia aquarium exhibit there or to the Baltimore Aquarium. Anyhow, zoos suck, and here's why:

Some other educational resources about the problems with zoos: The Born Free Foundation's Zoo Check program; and The Captive Animal Protection Society.

Posted by jimbo at 10:15 AM | Comments (2)

January 5, 2004

copied blog entries

Jeez! First Chrisafer, and now Mighty Jimbo! What is up with people who copy Web log entries? I mean, even if your life is generally uninteresting, you should be able to spice it up or at least give your own unique perspective on everyday mundane life, right? That's just sad.

I already sent a poison pen message to said blogleech's blog host. Nobody messes with a Jimbo.

Posted by jimbo at 6:37 PM | Comments (7)

women be wise

Women be wise, keep your mouth shut, don't advertise your man.
Don't sit around, girl, telling all your secrets,
telling all those good things he really can do.

- Bonnie Raitt, 'Women Be Wise'

Those lyrics from the Bonnie Raitt Collection CD I have were running through my head this morning. Surely, words of wisdom to live by. I guess I'm a jackass for kissing and telling, and am getting my just rewards from such behavior, so I've learned my lesson for sure. I think I learned it once before, but it's so very jimbo to learn them over and over again and again. I'll be sure to curtail how much and what kind of information I let out to certain people in the future.

Speaking of jackasses, have I mentioned what a jackass the Croc Hunter is? (I give props to Jeff Corwin on professionalism, and to the Kratt Brothers for general woofiness and hiking-calfaliciousness. And how did I miss this show? I so would have won!) He was his usual loudmouthed jackass self on the Today show this morning, trying to defend his actions. I'd always watched his shows and shook my head ruefully, as he has a total disregard for the animals he messes around with. No education about the animal, no respect, and he has that lame-ass ghetto Australia affected accent that he conjures up. I mean, if I was a 13' croc, I'd be eyeing up that nice soft yummy looking baby. Mmmm...newborns. If this guy can't put himself in a croc's shoes, so to speak, and understand that a chicken carcass and a baby mean about the same thing to a crocodile, then he should move on to another business. But as is very apparent, wildlife education is not his goal - hype and fame is.

I've been on this kick of dating really nice guys lately. Not that this is a bad thing, but I'm wondering if I'm being true to myself in the choice of where I've been meeting these guys...in most cases lately thru Friendster. Let me explain...when one has certain kinky interests, does one a.) date known kinky guys and hope they are nice; or b.) date known nice guys and hope they are kinky? Dan Savage would probably encourage option b., as he is always recommending people just open up and talk about their sexual deviances. But then again he's always telling people to meet people of like interests via Internet groups too.

With the last boyfriend I had it all: sexual adventurousness, furry, muscular, big dick, scruff and cuteness. But in the end, and what ended it, was simply that we didn't get along. The "All that glitters..." rule comes to mind. The issue of unique sexual interests never had to come up with us. This time around I'm trying to make sure me and a guy get along first, and worry about exploring new things later. But sexuality is important and is also a glue that keeps people together. I guess I have to walk this one through should I start seriously dating someone who is not a known kinkster. But is it fair for me to pop certain issues about me after dating someone for a while? But then again, am I being fair to myself in assuming someone is not kinky? I guess I'll have to wait and see about this issue. Discuss.

Posted by jimbo at 9:35 AM | Comments (5)

January 4, 2004

'the best christmas ever'

Had an interesting chat on the phone last night with my buddy Shane, who just came back from spending the holidays with his family. When I asked how the holidays went, he said it was the best Christmas they ever had. I asked him why, and he said they went to Tahoe on Christmas Eve, skiied, gambled and drank, and left the kids to their Playstation. It sort of illustrates my gripes about how Christmas has become and how to get around what we are told what we are supposed to do and actually end up having a good time, like we should. His family focused on family fun and having a good time as opposed to running around shopping and going crazy, and they ended up having their best holiday together ever. Good for them.

The weather is fantastic outside today. High 60's and moist...which is a blessing considering how raw my throat is today. I'm so froggy sometimes sentences are cut short to silence. Tomorrow we all return to our normally scheduled lives. Work is gonna be tough the next coming months. I gotta get a newsletter out, and get a load of other things done there.

Posted by jimbo at 2:16 PM | Comments (4)

January 3, 2004

waaah...i'm sick

So this must be what that nasty flu/cold is all about that everyone has had. I'm always the latecomer for diseases that are going around. But then again, this seems to be an attenuated version of what everyone at work had. And I have the added benefit of getting it during time off. It's just shitty enough to make me feel yucky, but light enough to make me feel like I can do things, like go on dates and do geek interviews, which is stupid of me. I'm taking it easy the rest of the weekend.

The date last night went well. We met up at a very hip new restraunt, Saint Ex, the sort of place where you look at the waitstaff and want to day 'duude'. Piercings and tattoos and neo-punks and all that. The food was great, and so was the service, and our waiter was a 'dude' too. As for the rest of the evening, I should have listened to my inner sick self and called it a night and gone home, as the energy level plummeted quickly, but not due to the pleasant company. As I said, I'm takin' it easy the rest of the weekend.

Posted by jimbo at 1:12 PM | Comments (1)

January 1, 2004

new year report

Last night with the help of some cold medication I was able to make it out to Nation. Seamus had to drop out at the last minute, so a random lucky faghag got free admission. I enjoyed the small pleasure of selecting out of a group of strangers who would be the recipient of a free ticket to avoid the overpriced admission. She was very gracious, God bless her. Were I a multibillionaire, I think I would really enjoy forming 'The Jimbo Foundation,' or somesuch nonprofit to give money to deserving and needy charities. I'd be more of a giver if I had more to give.

Despite the fact that I was alone, people were still friendly. 180-degrees from a typical snooty bear party, I might add. One shirtless muscleskinhead wrestler INSISTED I dance with him much of the evening, and introduced me (sometimes twice) to everyone around him. I guess he was rollin' on the love train. OK, if you insist, it's really not a problem, I will dance with you. I also got to get some real close dancing in with furry-armed late-30s short muscle Daddy material. I think he had a boyfriend, but I gave him my card anyway.

But alas, without even looking at a clock, grampaw jimbo was ready to go by about 2:30, which seems to be my usual ending point no matter what the case. The lower back was tightening up, and the music was getting all Tina-ed out and monontonous, so I went home to reluctanty shower all the hot musky mansweat off of me.

Tomorrow I'm going on a date with a friendly, polite Southern man. I like how Southern mommas raised their boys to be polite and press their shirts and all that. He's very cute and has a beard of course.

Then later that evening I'm going out to the Eagle to meet up with a potential new geek for the D&D group. We need a new player. As I've stated before, our geek HR policies are often more strict than that of some major corportations. We've been looking for someone out of our circles of friends, able to socially integrate outside the geek environment, and able to attend gaming sessions every two weeks or so with dependability. I was hoping for another female for more female energy, or even a 'gasp!' straight guy to add some het energy to the group. Several layers of grueling interviews and test geeking are requred before integration into the tightly-knit group of gossipy carbo-munching geek-queers. Benefits include endless supplies of fattening food, an extensive gossip network, gift exchange on the holidays and occasional free condo use at Ocean City.

Posted by jimbo at 2:31 PM | Comments (5)