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July 31, 2003
they aren't bats
At Tuesday's practice another swarm of what appeared to be bats descended on the gnats and mosquitoes at our practice pitch. Most folks thought they were bats, but I tried to let them know they were chimney swifts. Swifts, as in birds with feathers, not the favorite noctournal mammals that 'Tard feels an affinity to. I'm not sure anyone believed me though. They used to nest in my grandma's chimney, and in our high school's massive flues. They make these gummy nests of saliva and sticks in the chimneys.
FREE BEER! Don't forget...tonight's the Renegades' fall kickoff and recruitment event at Titan bar, just upstairs from Hamburger Mary's, starting at 6:30pm going until 9:30. I'm not sure food is free, but the beer is. FREE BEER!
Gargantuon Ron came over last night for some TLC, and honey, I needed it. Amazing what cuddling, good words and other things can do for a soul. He's taking off for the weekend, however, which can be viewed as both a good and a bad thing.
Posted by jimbo at 11:00 AM | Comments (3)
July 29, 2003
flying chunks of lard
You may not understand what all the fuss is about today, dear Capricorn. Suddenly there is a fire brewing all around, and you may be left questioning the motivations behind other people's actions.
No shit.
Today I got my third, and probably final, Major Talkin' To at work. It is likely I'll be moved to a support position instead of being a training specialist. I'm neither proud nor happy about it, but apparently my frustration with the work shows, and comes back at me from my superiors. I'm just not good at assessing how much I need to know about the subject, gathering the required information, and getting what I think needs to be taught into documentation. It's the eleventh hour now and I've been informed to either shit or get off the pot.
Now is not the time to be doing bad at what gives me a paycheck, but I've done my best, and feel like I'm out of options there. One option would be to move to another project, but this one is the only we have. I like my coworkers, the subject matter is dry but isn't bad, but I'm unhappy with my work and my superiors are freaking out about it. This is not good.
I'm not sure if this morning's Talkin' To translates to "start looking now," but it wouldn't be a bad idea to get the resume fired up, as Gurl suggests. Maybe I'll go blonde like Missus Truvy.
To make matters more harrowing, as we were driving out to the Hellmouth, what seemed to be a large, triangular, translucent piece of plastic came up off the road and hit my windshield. It made an awful loud bang, but didn't crack anything. Later, when my coworkers and I investigated where the object struck, we found a greasy residue. I'm assuming it was a stray, triangular, translucent piece of lard that struck my car. Just greasy icing on the cake I guess.
Gurl and I watched some of "Boy meets Boy"on Bravo. In the spirit of equal opportunity, it was just as awful as any other hook-up reality show. You lost me on the first kiss. In more entertaining news, why does the U.S. Army buy advertising space during "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"? They must have only read the 'straight' part in the title of the show.
Posted by jimbo at 10:36 PM | Comments (5)
July 28, 2003
fall recruitment event
Saturday night I went to a party on the Hill of an old friend who was giving a going away celebration for his tenant. The landlord was a late-forties gay man, and his tenant was a twink. So the party consisted of late-30s homeowners and then twinks. Needless to say neither crowd was mixing all that much, sadly.
Stayed up too late playing Civ, only to get up some hours later to go work out with Gargantua Ron. Another big tough workout with the beast-boy, but it was good to spend a few hours together. He'll be away and busy most of this week and weekend.
Last night we played D&D, and I failed yet again to kill any of the characters. I'm a washed-up DM. I ate about 10,000 calories of Rob's chocolate-chip cookies, however.
I'm still a little ticked off about something that happened last Thursday at the after-practice social with the rugby team. I was trying to talk to this hot new guy who is just droolalicious. I'm still a free man, free to talk to whom I choose. However, one straight guy from the team thought he would 'protect' this new [gay] guy and effectively, deliberately cockblocked me. In addition, another teammate introduced me to this new guy as the "team welcome wagon" with all its implications. This pisses me off, because I do not make it a regular practice to date or mess around with teammates, nor am I anywhere near the intra-team tricking levels of some of my teammates. But, because this [married, mind you] teammate was also hot for this new player, he felt the need to also cockblock me. Normally, I find him to be a nice guy, but cutting down my rep was just nasty. And those of us with a rep don't take that sort of thing lightly. I'm also kind of sad that the straight guy thinks I'm a predacious newbie molester. Not only are we all adults, but I'd wish he'd give me the benefit of a doubt, especially since I spent the last year being a very good boy with my teammates. So easy to get financial credit, so hard to get it anywhere else...I guess I need to talk to these teammates about how I feel.
Now I don't want to give anyone a bad idea of our intra-team drama, as it's been greatly reduced in the four years since I've been on the team. In fact, our Fall Season Kickoff is this Thursday at Titan from 6:30 to 9:30pm. Ooh, lookie, here's the Tard and some other teammates from last year's event in the Blade!
FYI: due to tonsil removal, I can no longer purr like Eartha Kitt. However, I now seem to be immune to Brain Freeze from the likes of shakes and Slurpees. I tried to make Chewbacca noises last night, and now my throat hurts. We're not ready for that yet.
Posted by jimbo at 11:03 AM | Comments (7)
July 26, 2003
happy birthday chrisafer
Happy Birthday Chrisafer!
I didn't know we were going to a Mexican restraunt, but I happened to get a feliz cumpleanos birthday card. My party appropriateness well in order. Also in attendance were Gurl, Mizhi, Glenn and many of 'Fer's friends from way back. Little Missy got to wear the Big Birthday Sombrero, and was appropriately embarassed.
She got an original Donnatella Versassy couture tee as well.
Yaaay...got to sleep in today, an feel loads more coherent and happy today. A little weeding, made a CD for Bubba, mailed a letter, cleaned up here and there, and answered e-mails. Parties optional tonight, as I feel the need for a lot of Jimbo Time today.
Tomorrow is D&D with the gang, including the arduous process of upgrading characters from 3.0 to 3.5.
Anyone want to buy an antique gynecological examination table? My roomate wants to sell it...it's been sitting downstairs since he bought the place from the previous tenant, who ran an OBC clinic downstairs. I'm not kidding.
Posted by jimbo at 3:10 PM | Comments (21)
July 25, 2003
rhyme tyme
Mitzhi and Chrisafer stopped by rugby practice tonight. I had stopped playing, as Tuesday's practice had reduced both my big toes to a pulpy, blistery mess. They didn't make it through tonight's practice, so I had some time to chat with them like a 12-year old girl. Later we met up at Hamburgurl Mary's with Glenn. A little buzzed and chatting with the waiter, I mentioned we'd be playing D&D at Chrisafer's house this weekend.
"D&D!? That's supposed to really be in these days, like Elijah Wood plays it now." the waiter mentioned.
"Yeah, and Vin Diesel too, but I'm OLD SKOOL. Like I'm the L.L. Cool J of D&D," I respond with my quote of 2003. So now it's time for another jimbo rhyme:
Don't call it a comeback,
I've been playin' for years.
Since 1985,
so hold back in fear.
d20? What's so funny?
I got more gp's
than your rich Aunt Bunny.
Don't tell me how high
your AC be,
I'll have an ogre slap you down
back to Level 3.
So be a good Cleric
and don't be a bitch
or I'll let loose a muthafuckin
undead arch-lich.
Check out my Rod of Splendor
in case yer in doubt
in case you ever wondered
what they all talkin' 'bout.
So put on your magic ring
of +3 protection.
Cuz you won't get another magic item
until the next election.
Word.
Posted by jimbo at 12:24 AM | Comments (7)
July 23, 2003
take on me
Yesterday I was back on track with rugby, my energy up to speed again and even back to an old position. We scrimmaged at the end of practice and I got to be a bossy, pushy scrumhalf again, and I was happy. Hopefully I did well in the coach's eyes and may do more of that this season.
Andrew, a coworker from way back, was at the 930 club this evening with some old gaming buddies for the Zebrahead and Reel Big Fish concert. I had no idea who the bands were but it was good to meet up with the gang, who I played DC Superheroes with for a time. Plus, 930 is just around the corner from me. Reel Big Fish does a fun punk cover of Ah-Ha's "Take On Me." While most of the crowd there was half my age, that meant no line for the beer.
Posted by jimbo at 11:23 PM | Comments (5)
July 21, 2003
my striaght sister in nyc
From Gurl: Single Chick. She's single, she's straight, but she's SOOO my sister in crime! I wish I could contact her and tell her that, and our shared attraction to sexy piano players and Jews, but it's a totally closed blog with no contact info. A good read though. I'm going to set her up with Mighy Jimbo if I get in touch with her.
I'm not sure if it was Gurl or Machiavelli (I always get the two mixed up) who said, "The power in a relationship belongs to the least interested." I want to pursue things with Ron, but he's the least interested at the moment. What I need to do is try and be less interested than he, so the sound of the vacuum where I once was becomes apparent. I'm corresponding with a smouldering hottie from bigmuscle.com though, which should help.
I'm in a far less righteous mood this week. Perhaps last week I was coming down off my heroin-based painkillers? Still, no excuse for being such a bitch. Enter hypocrite mode, A.D.D. MAXI-NAME-DROP-BLOGWHORING: so like this week maybe I'll have lunch with Stebbins, Mitzhi, Keith or Matt. Omigawd like Toddo, Ray-Ray and Chrisafer were soo right about Adam's voice! Like total Brooklyn or something! John's partner Jamie is back on the rugby team! This Sunday we play D&D at Chrisafer's house cuz his partner Glenn (and Gurl and Vonnie) plays in our group. There's like this big controversy with tha geeks because I want to upgrade to D&D 3.5 since Jeff is like sending me the new book (my first profit due to blogging!), but Jon's having a big spaz because he doesn't want to buy all the new books but doesn't know enough to like mooch off our books. Muppets? My'ra, you DIDN'T!? I've been trying to call Will since he's strung up due to a knee surgery too. Ohmigawd J-Dub is SOOO cute! Furry too!
Posted by jimbo at 10:35 AM | Comments (10)
July 20, 2003
legend
Sadly, blowoff had been moved to a new locale on Saturday night, due to some kind of health code violation at it's original locale. I didn't see no stinkin' rats last time! But I was so pooped still from the week that Ron and I decided to call it a night instead of searching out the new locale. We stayed in and watched the director's cut of Legend, starring Tom Cruise and directed by a very visual Ridley Scott. It was SIGNIFICANTLY longer than the original, and I'm still not done watching it.
Today I took up an offer for free tickets to yet another Orioles/Angels game up in Baltimore. The stadium was packed, I think due to a bobblehead giveaway. I had a good time though.
I've been in a wishy-washy mood all weekend though, so nothing else to report other than a lot of CivIII playing.
Posted by jimbo at 8:03 PM | Comments (1)
July 18, 2003
ihoh w. toddo & ray-ray
Yesterday was a long motherfuckin' day. I got up before the crack of dawn with my face buried in Ron's pecs, suffocating to death. He had to go work out, and I had to pick up coworker to go move furniture er-lai in the mornin'. Said coworker's cell phone wasn't on ring, and his alarm clock was set to PM, and I didn't know his exact house number, so I sit and wait for his ass for an hour. Once we finally got going, did the duty out in Virginia moving furniture, and I did manage to get a network hub and ghetto mini-Christmas tree from it all. Then back to DC for office work.
Rugby that evening, followed by a 'lil blogger meet with Toddo, former blogger Spin, Ray-Ray and of course the omni-blogger Chrisafer. Toddo was a SCREAMBOAT, kinda hot and a little geeky, which is of course hot to me. Ray-Ray was a little cutie-pie too, and I sensed rugbiness in him so I worked on converting him into a rugby-ho. It was kind of hard to chat as the accoustics in the International House of Husbands (IHoH - Duplex Diner) suck and you have to shout a lot. Chrisafer's new 'do was so fabulous I didn't notice at first, and now I'm going to get highlights just like hers, but more blonde.
Posted by jimbo at 11:05 AM | Comments (1)
July 17, 2003
in case you were wondering...
I did some interesting research this week for Minx, who asked, "Congratulations on getting off painkillers, and the graduation to solid food. When can you suck dick?" That's a good question, Chad. I was curious too, as I am a certified cocksucker, and want to get back into the game again. A big, throbbing, turgid cock could do a lot of damage to a recently-lasered oral-pharyngeal area you know. Think out-of-control nuclear submarine crashing into the Baltimore waterfront. And then there's HIV transmission to worry about.
So yesterday at my post-op appointment I ask the tonsillectomy specialist Dr. Zappathroat at what point it would be 'safe' to practice oral sex. I didn't really want to go into the details, as he was straight, but he assured me that I should NEVER perform oral sex with anyone who was at risk, tonsillectomy or not!
Yes, of course. You are right Dr. Zappathroat. There is a risk of HIV transmission via oral sex, but that's a risk I've been willing to take for over 13 years now. Considering my tonsils were formerly big swollen blobs of exposed blood vessels, it may have been quite a risk, but a risk I was willing to take.
So perhaps I should have rephrased the question, or perhaps I should just ask my big gay doctor instead, who might know better, or at least is able to give me a realistic answer. He's a specialist in HIV medicine, and medicates the medicated just off DuPont Circle. After finally getting ahold of him, I posed the question this way: at what point can I resume performing oral sex at the same risk level as before my tonsillectomy? His answer was at least a month, and certainly only as long as the laser scabs and scars are gone. OK then.
On a related note, I had a first last night: I got busy on the hammock at Casa de Dreamy. Summer evening, lightning beetles (not bugs!), Dreamy Ron and a Guatemalan stretch hammock. Mmmmm...and you can get busy in a hammock without sucking dick (too deeply).
Current wallpaper: cute meerkat basking under sunlamp.
Posted by jimbo at 3:27 PM | Comments (11)
July 16, 2003
riveted
Riveted. Rarely can you say this about me and television together. But last night I couldn't stop watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Bravo, the gay cable channel that won't say so has brought us pure fun in the form of a gay SpiceGirly superhero group that comes to save the day for drab straight men in peril. First there's hunky Kyan, or Spa Spice as I will call him. He's in charge of hair care and general exfoliation. Then there's Deadpan Ted, or Syrah Spice. He's tasked with flavoring dinner parties, selection of wines and finger food. My favorite is Carson, who is the show's quality queerness assurance specialist. He's the one with all the witty comments as he goes through the hapless het's wardrobe. I was rolling on the floor when he declared "Tragedikistan!" upon first entering one breeder's home. We'll call her Flamey Spice. I identify most with Jai (Society Spice), who's the cultural attaché of the group. He makes sure the madeover man can schmooze with the best of them, deflect conversational blows, and to get what needs to be had out of any situation. Finally, we have Thom, or Serious Spice. He completes the home, puts color to the walls, and otherwise finishes off the rest of the home.
The show was catty without being patronizing, and there were no grey areas in most cases with the target males in need. They needed help, and the Fab Five were just the men to do it. At the end of the show, there are even useful tips for those of us who still need help in a few areas. Much fun, guaranteed, and Jimbo predicts this is the next Must See show for the gurls.
But does it set us back with a set stereotype that all gays are somehow more culturally advanced? I'm confident that this will not be so, as I am an out gay man who directly challenges that stereotype with my crippled sense of L.L.Bean style, average wardrobe and frequent inappropriate comments in social settings.
The other day we recieved a little box tied up with a bow. It was Maddie the kitty's remains. I didn't know they delivered the ashes after putting said kitty to sleep.
Last night I went out to Cobalt to meet up with a friend for his exes' birthday party. Turns out said ex was/is a frequent shower stalker, but I don't know if that's the reason they broke up. Anyway, funny how small this town is getting. The combination of having to shout and the smoke made my time there limited, however.
I did meet some new people, and Gurl woulda been aghast again at how little time it took to start chatting. Walk up to the bar, I look at him, he looks at me. Arm hair: dense. Chest hair: yep. Facial hair: stubbly and dense. Schnoz: -alicious. Hello! We chatted until my buddy arrived, and I want him to dial the number that I gave him.
Tonight I go up to placid Takoma Park for some Dreamy Time with Ron. Haven't seen him in a while as I warned him away from my predictable grumpy self during my surgery. It will be good to see him again.
This afternoon is my post-op with the doctor. Considering tonight's dinner date with Ron, Confucius ask: When can I give blowjobs again? More news at 11.
Posted by jimbo at 10:43 AM | Comments (6)
July 15, 2003
bloghumping
Sorry Dannii, but the oversampling of Dead or Alive does not recieve my approval, although it's fun to groove to. Janet sampling Sly is clever and subtle, yours takes the entire riff and uses it as the backbone of the song. There is a difference - clever borrowing vs blatant hacking. It's sort of like me serving a dish Martha Stewart cooked up and said it's mine, as opposed to taking some spice from one of Martha's recipes and using it in my own dish.
And the blazing sword of righteousness flares stronger. I pull the sword just an inch from the scabbard as I ponder the ethics of bloghumping, as I will call it. Bloghumping is the near-duplication of another blogger's blogger list, or the continual borrowing of ideas or topics from another blog. The concept of bloghumping also extends to Friendster, where suddenly someone has a friend list nearly identical to yours. It's all about individuality, as I strive for my individuality. Then there's the whole phenomenon of blogwhoring, where one continually drops names of other bloggers on a daily basis in lieu of original content. One righteous campaign at a time, Jimbo...
If I can even lift the Blazing Sword of Righteousness...last night's first attempt at lifting was WEAK! About 20# less on everything I usually do. It was either the two weeks away from activity or the removal of lymph nodes that did it. Eager to get back to rugby on Thursday, however.
There is an e-mail on Bubba's blog, you know. Don't let the fu scare you...I think she's lonely down there on the Texas coast, and probably holed up in a cellar with Internet access at the moment.
Posted by jimbo at 4:18 PM | Comments (3)
July 14, 2003
the itching will subside
"Mitzhi, before the summer is through, I'm gonna have myself an intern."
The return of my libido after surgery is painfully apparent as I rubberneck any handsome white collar type walking through the Cruiseteria. "Damn, I gotta get this taken care of," I say.
"You're healing," she says. "It's a sign you're getting better. The itching means you're definitely healing."
Thank you, Dr. Kildare.
My computer is confused today, so while it defrags I have more than a few moments to comment. Rumour has it that the cost of living in DC has exceeded that of Manhattan. I can believe it. No one I know in their late 20s owns property, and scant few in their 30s. As for those that do have property here, I suspect they are Thralls of Dubya, and Mommy and Daddy are helping them out, or that they bought with low interest rates, but are going to be fucked in a few years as their rates are not fixed. We shall see. However, Jimbo cannot purchase property until a.) the car is paid for; b.) the debts are paid off; and c.) my salary has exceeded $60 like back in da day. Hopefully, this day will come.
It was my mother's birthday this weekend, so I called to wish the girl a happy one. Sadly, it was me - the early-onset Alzheimers-stricken son, to be the only one to remember to call (AND send a card!). Anyway, the subject of capri pants came up, and while my mom would look fine in them even while mowing the lawn, other not-really-girly-girls don't, as Don concurs. Especially if you have to shave your legs to wear them. Men shaving legs? Only appropriate for swimmers or tour bikers. Be manly and furry, if only for me.
I'm going to try working out today, but oh yeah, it's Monday. That means the gym will be a hysterical mass of weekend guilt-mongers, horrified that they spent all weekend drinking and little time spent exercising. I'll wait until later this evening before going.
Posted by jimbo at 4:27 PM | Comments (7)
July 13, 2003
kickin' the crack
I made it through my first night without painkillers, which is a good thing. I was getting tired of the fuzziness I got from it. Work will be a bit easier next week as a result. The throat is still a bit tight but I've moved on to less mushy foods.
Yesterday 'tard and I went to see 28 Days Later, which was pretty much a post-apocalypse survival movie if you count the zombies as just a plot point. Pretty cool concept of a very contagious virus that turns people into maddened, but living, zombies, but I liked how they depicted it from a scientific standpoint. Later on we went to do a little sunning at the notorious LBJ park, which was quite the time warp. It's a 70s-style cruising area, chock full of 70s style cruisy types who were in fact wearing 70s-era clothing. We merely observed and were entertained.
Today I hope to get the bathroom cleaned, then my first light workout since the surgery. Later on it's D&D at the DuBois estate.
Posted by jimbo at 11:58 AM | Comments (1)
July 12, 2003
jimbo van winkle
Gee, I guess it was a long, hard week. When I got home tonight I went to bed at about 7, and woke up at 9 to pee. Went right back to bed again, woke up to the phone at 10, ignored it and went back to bed. Woke up again at 1am. Body's trying to tell me something I guess.
Posted by jimbo at 2:07 AM
July 11, 2003
friendster is sketchy
Quite a grumpy week here in the office. All three of us are not on travel, confined to one room. Iíve been cracked out of my gourd on painkillers, in pain from the surgery, grumpy from not eating well and not working out. The other coworker is stressed out about a home refinance, and another is a nervous wreck from DC housing search drama. Needless to say we are all just being quiet today. Of course thereís also the requisite office deadline panic, which Iíve always found unnecessary. Once I got the hang of things in college, I was never the type for last-minute hysteria or cramming. Some people seem to thrive on it and know of no other way to behave. Iíd start studying several weeks in advance, which would guarantee me a higher than average grade. I also knew cramming the night before resulted in little retention. If you know the date of the test or deadline, how is it possible to not plan for this known point in time? Anyway, that seems to be the status quo here.
So Iím really, really looking forward to the weekend. If it isnít too hot outside I hope to get some sun.
Ron and I have a odd thing going on. We call each other daily, say oodjiebooboo things to each other, and are planning a trip to Berkeley Springs soon as well, but we are still just ìgoing on datesî. UmmÖOK. Thatís fine I guess because then I can still be slutty if I so choose. Not that I can these days until things are healed.
This morning Cool World was on Showtime. It was a more adult pre-Roger Rabbit toonworld animation/live action flick starring Kim Basinger and a very young Brad Pitt. In fact Roger Rabbit was a rather shameless G-rated knockoff of Cool World. I still have the soundtrack, which featured some of the first rave and techno music to be found on a motion picture soundtrack.
Friendster is sketchy. You have one of three types of people on Friendster: the first is the normal person using an accurate profile and their true name. People like Toddo, Chrisafer, Mitzhi and such. Then you have beings on the other end of the spectrum, who use a campy picture with a fake profile and pseudonym, like Giant Squid, Corky and Madonna. Thatís fine, and kind of fun. Then thereís the sketchy ones in the middle who are all sending me messages thru the Friendster message system. These are people who use ëpen namesí as they call them, and tend to be closeted downtown DC lawyers or folks living in the hinterlands of Northern Virginia. Iíve had some annoying exchanges where they will send me an e-mail expressing some kind of interest, but are never willing to divulge too much about themselves. Then I learn theyíre using a different name, are married (to a woman), or are in a relationship. Grrr. I guess itís no less sketchy than AOL.
Posted by jimbo at 10:19 AM | Comments (4)
July 10, 2003
flyer, flyer
Gurl says, "Your next job needs to be your dream job." Ricky says, "Hon, you should just coast and catch up for a while." They're both right, and I will sure do some coasting. But when a flyer from the adult education campus I was interested in comes to my door, albeit for a former tenant, sure as hell I'll fill out their survey and ask for info on the fall curriculum. The ex was always disturbed by the fact that I don't plan, I go with the flow. Sometimes life flows your way, and this was one of those times. Someone is telling me my ideas are right, and that I need to start working on them now. Now is the time. It felt really good to do that, after such a long year to take a step, even if it's a little one, forward for a change. I think it's gonna be pricey, and I may have to scrimp for a while. I may have to put rugby on the back burner in lieu of studying. I seem to be losing interest anyway, so perhaps it's time for a new chapter.
Posted by jimbo at 12:37 PM | Comments (6)
hulking out with 'tard
This weekend I'll be Hulking out with Peachtree Tard on Saturday, then D&D out at the DuBois Estate on Sunday. I'm going to kill Mark's character, an arrogant chaotic druid who's gotten too big for his torque and robes. Even his character's animal companion thinks he's snooty.
Every day is a new sensation in my throat, not usually pleasant. Now it's tight-feeling. The laser scabs are coming off, so it feels like there's chunks of food back there all the time. Where there were once scabs now shows hyper-sensitive pink flesh. I'm producing tremendous amounts of spit too. However, I'm finally starting to feel perky again, not tired all the time which I assume is due to getting shit removed or something. I might try something slightly not-as-mushy to eat today too. I figger with all this spit I can goo it down to mush in my mouth.
Posted by jimbo at 9:20 AM | Comments (4)
July 9, 2003
mitzhi's back
Mitzhi's back. I knew she would be. I knew this was some kind of Barbara Striesand/Eagles/Rolling Stones/Cher final tour threat thing.
Posted by jimbo at 4:24 PM | Comments (1)
July 8, 2003
why martina rocks
She's 46, the oldest Wimbledon champion ever. She's tied with another dyke for the most Wimbledon wins ever. She's pretty darn old for a tennis player, and she's a happily out dyke. Out - and still in her sport mind you. No scandals, no drama, just her sport. How many times do I have to iterate that Martina Navratilova is a goddess? And I don't even like tennis.
I'm kickin' the crack today. Last night I woke up (in a pool of my own drool) and wasn't feeling too bad, at least not bad as before where I felt like crying. And this morning I almost didn't have to take my crack pill before going to work. So around Noon today when I felt my crack wearing off, I decided to not take another. My prescription is running out anyway, and it's one of those you have to get a written prescription to fill anyway, and I don't want to bother. The plumbing has already, thankfully, loosened up.
Posted by jimbo at 1:11 PM | Comments (7)
July 7, 2003
test drive
Ron came over to give me some TLC last night, and I had some homemade summer soup ready for the big man. Of course in my current condition, we couldn't do much but cuddle, but I gave him this proposal, of sorts:
"Ron, when I'm fully healed, I want you to be the first to test drive my newly expanded throat."
I am surviving work so far today. A little outside my body due to the drugs, but otherwise functioning OK and actually getting things done. I am starting to crave solid food now.
I think this is my first summer in DC where I'm tolerating it well. No complaints, so far. Maybe it's due to the two-month long Mordor stretch of weather, or maybe it's because my tender throat really likes hot, humid air.
Yesterday I went to Mitzhi's pad to pick up some DVDs to watch. Her flat was fucking fabulous. Her bathroom was completely soundproofed with maxi pads lined up on the walls, coating every inch, even in the shower stall. There in the stall, she had bromeliads growing off of the damp maxi pads. Nice touch.
I want to go to summer camp. I want to go to the beach. I want to go fishing. I want to go hiking. I remember all these offers for a weekend at the beach, but now I can't remember who said them.
Posted by jimbo at 12:10 PM | Comments (4)
July 6, 2003
last trip to the vet
Well, the roomate finally saw the light, so to speak. We are taking Maddie for her last trip to the vet. She can't even meow right now, so it's high time.
I've officially changed Don's name to Mitzhi (Mhitzi? Mitzee? You decide.). I saw the name Mitzhi yesterday in some newspaper article, and the first thing I thought was: Don. Don is now Mitzhi. Anyway, I'm going to Mitzhi's apartment today to raid DVD's, one of which is Showgirls.
Last night was pretty bad. I gotta cut back on the citrusy fruit drinks. Perhaps it was the large Slurpee I had. Anyway, imagine acid belches coming up to an already sensitive area, and you get the picture. File down your index finger with 80 grit sandpaper, and then immerse it in boiling orange juice. The throat seems worse today, and I've been popping a lot of pills as well. I'm concerned that I'll be having to make redundant trips to Dull-Ass this week, only to spend my time there working on documents that are due in a week rather than working on them in the office, having to drive on Hwy 66 traffic in pain and cracked out on prescribed narcotics. Hopefully the boss will have an iota of compassion and practicality this week and let it be.
Posted by jimbo at 9:27 AM
July 5, 2003
letting go
"Rick, she's 16 years old."
It's my way of saying to the roomate it's time for his cat Maddie to pass on. I don't want to be mercilessly blunt to the roomate, but for a cat, that's quite a life. But he didn't take the hint today. She's been suffering for over a week now due to kidney failure. Last week she wasn't eating or drinking, yesterday she tried to drink in the morning, and vomited the water back up after her three attempts at drinking. Three puddles of clear vomit later, no thank-you's from the roomate for having his recently cauterized roomate clean up vomit from his own damn cat. And today she's just been lying there, unable or unwilling to move. I've had to check her twice to see if she's dead or not. The roomate is in clear denial about the upcoming mortality of his very old cat. To let her hang on in this state is cruel, in my opinion, as her occasional yowls of agony and immobility can attest. He says he'll give her a few more days, and now the fucking kitchen is a stinking triage center. No, a few more days won't do much for her but extend her pain, but he thinks it will make all the difference.
I didn't much like that cat, but mercy is mercy, even for a beast that had its way throughout the house. She was always getting into kitchen and bathroom sinks, and hopping up on kitchen and bedside tables for a drink of whatever I'm having at the moment. But she was cute in her own cat way. Don't get me wrong...I like dogs and cats, but they have their place, and when it's time to go, sometimes an assist is required.
The roomate is almost as immobile as the cat right now. Yes, he's going through what I did last year, with a one-two punch of unemployment and breakup at the same time. I'm sure such pressures have added to his already inherent laziness. And ever since we got the accursed cable, the television is always a din to be expected in the house, late into the evening at loud volumes. However, it's no excuse to have gotten absolutely nothing done over the three-day weekend, while I have at least washed dishes, washed my car, vacuumed my room and finished laundry with part of my throat recently removed. Meanwhile, the bathroom is filthy as hell and the kitchen floor is coated with a fine veneer of dried cat vomit. It's definitely time for a long weekend away or a work trip.
I don't have many housing options right now in DC due to my debt payment schedule, but after this weekend I'll certainly be keeping my eyes open. Living alone is always the best option for me, but if I must have them, fewer roomates are better, and they must not be lazy, smokers, sloppy, or certifiably depressed. No more cats, either.
Posted by jimbo at 6:09 PM | Comments (3)
gurl's gone
Gurl's attention span for blogging is even shorter than I thought. She warned me this would happen, and knows it's why she doesn't have one herself. While she has much to say, I think she'd rather just say it, instead of blogging, so I've taken over again. However, Gurl retains her permissions to add entries!
While I have a few things to say, I can barely say it either. I've been sleeping a lot and while I'm awake I usually am eating mush or watching movies, which is a good thing. Off to get more movies! My big accomplishment today was washing the car, which has left me quite tuckered out for the rest of the day.
Posted by jimbo at 12:00 PM
July 4, 2003
happy 4th!
The Takoma Park 4th parade was fun, but I neglected to bring enough painkillers for the trip. By the time I was set to head home, the real pain started kickin' in, so I popped a pill when I got back, went to sleep, and spent the rest of the evening cracked out on painkillers. I guess I won't push it so hard the rest of the weekend.
Interesting to note: my barber, born in some northeast African country, mentioned to me that she had thier hometown doctor remove her tonsils snare-style with horsehair! Thank god for Western medicine.
Posted by jimbo at 8:49 AM
July 3, 2003
throat and tummy report
Hey y'all! This is Jimbo. I'm feelin' pretty good today, but I'm pretty sure it's because of my fabulous narcotics that were prescribed. Waking up at 4am when the endocet wears off is no fun. I can't sleep on my back for some reason as it feels like this humongous loogie is forming in the back of my throat, where there is none. So I wake up at night on my back sometimes gagging on my own throat. Luckily I usually end up sleeping on my side or front anyway. I'd say I'd be able to go to work, but without drugs I'd be in a mountain of pain, but with the drugs I can't form coherent thoughts either. But considering the pain in my throat, with drugs, isn't that much greater than my normal former inflammation pain, that's a good thing.
And I'd love, really LOVE to take a shit right now! You see, all of the drugs in the narcotic family tend to constipate (see: poopy sheets scene from the movie Trainspotting). I can feel the backup, possibly longer than Hwy 66 on a Friday afternoon. Add to that a gassy stomach since I can't swallow without swallowing air, and that's the most discomfort I have now.
But wow, Dr. Mushtaq sure did a number back there. There are these big black laser craters where my big pink strawberry tonsils used to be. When I got back by about Noon yesterday I was already drinking, eating my diversity of mushy foods, and talking. Due to the extra space back there, I sorta sound like a grownup from a Charlie Brown special. Either that or I think I sound like one, as I can't pop my ears cuz it hurts so I'm somewhat deaf.
So here's what happened yesterday: Keith picked me up at about 6am. He was grumpy from drama with his ex, I was grumpy as I had had no coffee. We were a cute pair indeed. He dropped me of at the surgery center and went back home to walk the dog. I signed in, and passed out in the waiting room (again, no coffee as ordered). They brought me back and put me in a surgery nightie, and I went back to sleep. Then cute Jewish anesthesiologist showed up to wake me up only to knock me out for good. Then I woke up, something was missing from my throat, and the post-anesthesiologist nurses would not let me go back to sleep, told me to get dressed, and it was over by 11 or so. Keith dropped me off at home and I began eating right away.
TONS of support from friends, lovely teammates, and Dreamy Ron, who showed up with flowers, a book and a gallon of very yummy fruit/protien shake. He hung out and we watched the old animated version of Lord of the Rings. They cut out the Tom Bombadil and Barrow Wight scenes out of that one too, sadly. I also rented Circuit and the first two tapes of the TV miniseries The Stand. Who knows if the cheesy Blockbusters on 17th street has the final one.
Posted by jimbo at 11:42 AM
Gay TV and Gurlanator 3
Gay TV
What do we think of this:
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
and this:
and on a different note
Gurlanator 3: Rise of the Gurls
I think Im going to see T3 with Serenity's fiance, Chris tonight after work. He is a cute str8 boy that took a shine to me when we first met ("my uncle is gay") and while Serenity and our lesbian friend Amy see Charlies Angels (Ive seen it already, its great!) he and I will watch cool ass deathrobots wipe out humanity. Apparently humans can reprogram the deathbots....which is how Arnold "Republican Candidate for Governor of California" Swartzesomthin gets to be a good guy deathbot again. This gave me an idea...perhaps the deathbots can be reprogrammed to only destroy humans that display reprehensible traits........ Im seeing a solution to the capri pants issue here.....
and honestly people who throw cigs in the street.... deathbots could be used to discourage littering...... I hate it when smokers throw their nasty cigs in the street. Call me a goody but I thought throwing garbage on the street was a bad thing (Walking to work last week, I watched a little boy drop a wrapper in the street, he turned around to pick it up and his mother said "oh thats ok, leave it there, NICE huh?)
The next time some smoker throws a cig on the street..I wanna like, throw a used condom there too....I bet they would be shocked and appalled huh? This probably wont happen because I really dont want to carry a lot of used condoms around with me. My gym bag is overloaded as it is. It's just one of those viscious little fantasies that flash through my head from time to time. So I wouldnt have the deathbots kill smokers..but maybe they could be used in a program to help smokers quit. Oh and whilst I was in NYC two weekends ago, it was WONDERFUL to be in bars and restaurants and not smell one whiff of smoke....
Now all you tabacco addicted folks out there... I love you. I really do, I just hate tabacco products and hate smelling like cig smoke... I watched a great aunt kill herself with Cigs. Every breath she took HURT for the last 2 years of her life. We were all so relieved to see her die.... no more pain. I have very painful associations with tobacco.
Anyway..... whats everyone doing for the 4th? Im putting hot dogs in a blender and making Jimbo a Frankfurter smoothie. with sauerkraut!
GURL
Posted by jimbo at 11:07 AM | Comments (2)
July 2, 2003
Jimbo is home and resting
I got this email from Jimbo this afternoon........
Hey Y'all:
I'm doing pretty good right now. The surgery was very quick, and I've already been pigging out on a wide variety of soft foods...inlcuding soggy cocoa pebbles bathed in soy milk.
Jimbo
Yay for Jimbo. Im sure he will be back blogging about camping and rugby in no time.
Posted by jimbo at 4:58 PM | Comments (3)
DOES GURL ALWAYS USE CAPS IN HIS TITLES
no, i dont.
how was everyone's lunch? I went to the cruisiteria...so called because there are lots of proper young gentlemen to look at. Tazboy used to meet me there for lunch sometimes, as did Jimbo, and various other people. Its not as fun as it used to be, and its a hike from my office but it is entertaining. Today I sat next to a man who had a volume control problem. You know the type. Not only did I hear every word...but the people 4 tables away could hear every word. (Such a man would not make a good spy. "THE SECRET CODE WORD IS SPIGOT".) Not only was he loud, he was boring. REALLY boring. You have to know something about me. I fear boredom. I usually can keep myself amused. When boredom is thrust upon me (such as in math class) I begin to go crazy. Like a caged animal. So Dull Loud Man was talking to Dull Quiet Man about a new scottish pub opening up in ballston. While I am a fan of things celtic, I was not a fan of these two men. I fled.
Something else you should know about me. I am not a linear thinker. Ever watch "Pop Up Video" on VH-1? Thats the way my brain works. All the time.
I just looked over my shoulder and saw my spider plant here in the office. It has sprouted babies. I didnt even know the slut was getting any action. Just what exactly are my plants doing in my office at night?
Almost time to head to the gym...then home. Im meeting my buddy Carlton for a nice date tonight....he is fun to hang out with. All smart and science guy..but models on the side. Nice combo.
Hopefully its too dark and dismal to see any capri pant wearing twinks on my way home.
Posted by jimbo at 4:49 PM | Comments (6)
ODE TO JIMBO
Jimbo Jimbo flaming bright
like a honeypot in the night
I think we may I think we might
see Jimbo back with us alright
Everyone send good thoughts out to Jimbo right now. Even as I type, he is going under the knife. When he told me what procedure he wanted to have done, we searched high and low for the best possible doctor.
He was a little expensive, so we settled for the guy with a can opener and Wet/Dry Vac.
Im not so good at fancy schmancy blog stuff...but I think I have a before/after pict I can post. Now we will have to wait a while for the swelling to go down...but I think we will all be pleased with the results:
ever the pioneer our jimbo. How many men do YOU know with a Nellie Olsen fetish?
Ill let you all know when I hear from Jimbo and blog you the good news about his recovery
Ta,
Posted by jimbo at 10:58 AM | Comments (3)
July 1, 2003
JIMBO DON'T LIVE HERE NO MO
Hey Possums....surprise! Jimbo will be taking a bit of a hiatus whilst he recovers from his......surgery... so he will have a guest host for a while. He picked moi to cause the most disruption to your viewing pleasure possible. Over the next several days you will be privy to the inner workings of MY mind. It wont be pretty. We shall be touching on topics of supreme importance such as
men smoking walking home from the gym
Jimbo told you tonsils, find out what procedure he is REALLY having
masculinity: whats the big friggin deal
men
guys
bois
boys
gays
capri pants on men
So look for a new ramble every day!
KISS
GURL
Posted by jimbo at 10:25 PM | Comments (8)
international house of husbands
Tonight Gurl and I had a nice workout, followed by the Last (solid) Supper at the International House of Husbands, otherwise known as Duplex Diner.
Tomorrow morning I go under the laser!
Posted by jimbo at 9:49 PM