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March 12, 2003
geek, dork or 'tard?
People frequently approach me and ask, "Jimbo, are you a geek, dork or a 'tard?" I have developed a system that helps me answer that question, based on the McBride soil composition taxonomy chart.
The McBride Method involves tactile sampling of soil types based on the composition ratios of sand, silt and clay in the sample. An experienced soil scientist can determine a soil type by touching dry and moist samples of soil. For example, most of the soil in Washington, DC is a silty clay, as it is composed mainly of clay with some silt, and very little sand.
You can modify the McBride chart to determine your type by replacing the sand, silt and clay terms with geek, dork and 'tard*, respectively. For example, most of the people in my D&D group are geeks with differing levels of 'tard and dork. Jon is a 'tardy geek, and My'ra is simply a dorky geek. I would call myself a dorky 'tardy geek as is Fitz. Cory is clearly a geeky 'tard, and Matt is 'tardy dork. Is this clear to everyone?
* geek: overly focused on some obscure hobby or passtime; dork: prone to saying or doing inappropriate things; 'tard: frequently misunderstood or avoided.
Posted by jimbo at March 12, 2003 8:21 PM
Comments
Interesting taxonomy. Sometimes, though, I think it's situational and not essential.
For example, when talking about either modernist lit or celebrity gossip, I'm clearly full-on geek. However, when flirting, I'm definitely more of a 'tardy dork.
Posted by: Chrisafer at March 13, 2003 11:19 AM
Hmm.
As much as I'd like to declare I'm at the Tard apex of the triangle (I'll have you know I've entered soil judging compositions), the fact that my email is '@math.umd.edu' instantly alludes to the fact that I have some geek tendencies. But I'm definitely more tard than geek.
Posted by: the TARD at March 13, 2003 12:33 PM
Regardless of the result of the classification, is tactile sampling still part of the process? I still get to feel you up to figure it out, right?
Posted by: Bubba at March 13, 2003 1:11 PM
Yes, you may extend the McBride Method to include tactile sampling of wet and dry sample persons.
Posted by: jimbo at March 13, 2003 1:24 PM
mmmm, wet and dry jimbo....
Posted by: Scott at March 13, 2003 2:33 PM
all wonderful epithets for sensitive and intelligent boys. Don't forget the saffys--like my baby, they dress like saffron on AbFab, and are frumped-out too...
Posted by: dorgeetar at March 13, 2003 3:15 PM
What? No spaz category?
Posted by: Fitz at March 14, 2003 11:17 AM
i'm all sorts of tard. head to toe tard with a pretty pink ribbon.
Posted by: donald at March 14, 2003 3:07 PM