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February 27, 2003

A&F D&D geek pic

This is the hottest bunch of D&D players you'll ever meet. Clockwise from left: My'ra, Richard, Doug, Jimbo, Gurl, Vonnie Du Bois, Dax and Woodchuck.

It's snowing again, long drive from Fairfax. Not accumulating, just scaring the pants off the incompetent locals. They take all the fun out of snow. Remember: PRECIPITATION KILLS!

Other oddities: two dead dudes from ancient Egypt cohabiting and both sharing identical titles in the palace of King Niuserre of the Fifth Dynasty: "OVERSEER OF THE MANICURISTS IN THE PALACE OF THE KING." And some kind of Japanese penis/drag festival. I don't make this shit up, I just post it for your pleasure.

Posted by jimbo at 6:14 PM | Comments (5)

a beautiful day in the neighborhood

R.I.P. Mr. Fred Rogers.
:' (

Did anyone catch the WB teen-soundtrack version of 'The Lone Ranger' last night? It tracks the origins of the now-A&F Ranger and how he met Tonto (hottie) and Silver. It was pretty good, actually. I think I'll keep watching it. And since WB is now the only network producing series in addition to reality shows, I'll chalk myself up as a dedicated fan.

With all these trashy reality shows where marriage is determined by audience votes or tawdry processes of elimination, I question the gay community's ongoing battle to fight for this squandered institution. Breeders are making a mockery of marriage and relationships, so why is it of any importance to us? I would never allow a television viewing audience to hook me up. Well, maybe for a date, but not for marriage. I'd also allow my blogging audience to hook me up too (hint, hint). You know what I want.

Rugby practice last night was a blast, and I was in shape and outta control. Did you know that aggression is also quelled by antidepressants? All I have to say is GRRR! Look out! Plus, my heart swelled with joy and pride as someone referred to me as 'The Scrumhalf' last night.

Posted by jimbo at 9:36 AM | Comments (7)

February 26, 2003

housequake

we're gonna show you [huh]
what to do
so put yo foot down
on tha two
you jump up on tha one...
now yer havin' fun

Have I told you how much I'm diggin' Kazaa? I FINALLY found the extended remix of Prince's 'Raspberry Beret' with the raw guitar riff, strings and finger cymbal intro just like on the video. Currently listening to 'Housequake'. Again, previously unfound and extended. Desperately seeking 'Good Love' from the "Bright Lights, Big City" soundtrack and Crystal Ball. Any leads are appreciated.

Other nifty finds: Big Time Sensuality Bjork remix by Moby.

Posted by jimbo at 4:02 PM | Comments (3)

searches

OK, I finally figured out how to see some of the odder searches that lead people to my site. Here are some keyword phrases that have been used:

George Bush Carhartt Jacket photo
billowing flames
bare feet water polo
Zak Spears
tight wrangler butt
reduce anxiety exstacy

Posted by jimbo at 12:05 PM

too much to ask?

Keith wants to go out again on Thursday, this time to the Green Lantern. I think I gave my Pocket Genie to the Tard, and he got what he wished for, but in case there's any genie poop left in my pocket, here's what I'm wishing for:

• A hot guy to come up to me and say hi for a change, as opposed to me being the extrovert all the goddamn time. Sometimes an outgoing guy likes to feel special from time to time.
• Someone to flirt with me who isn't in a relationship.
• Someone with no ex-boyfriend issues, or currently living with ex-boyfriend.
• Honesty, honestly, and not evasive either. Evasive is shady.
• Someone interested in going on a nice simple date. A movie or dinner, for example?
• Someone who's from DC, and not in town for the weekend.
• He doesn't have to be kinky, just understanding.
• He doesn't have to be an Olympian, but he should be taking good care of his body.
• Someone who doesn't feel the need to compulsively brag about his most recent sexual encounters.
• He doesn't have to be John Wayne, but someone somewhere on the butch continuum between Harvey Fierstien and Brett Favre would be nice.
• And, of course, furry.

Is this too much to ask?

Posted by jimbo at 11:34 AM | Comments (4)

Xanadu at Library of Congress

OMG I am so there!

Date: Friday, February 28, 2003
Time: 7:00PM - 9:00PM EST (GMT-05:00)

FREE MOVIE at Library of Congress but you have to call ahead. RESERVATIONS may be made by phone, beginning one week before any given show. Call (202) 707-5677 during business hours (Monday-Friday, 9:00 am to 4:00 pm). Reserved seats must be claimed at least 10 minutes before showtime, after which standbys will be admitted to unclaimed seats. All programs are free, but seating is limited to 64 seats. The Mary Pickford Theater is located on the third floor of the Library of Congress Madison building, 101 Independence Avenue, Washington, DC; South Capitol Metro Station - Blue/Orange Lines.
Xanadu (Universal, 1980. Dir Robert Greenwald. With Gene Kelly, Olivia Newton-John, Michael Beck. (93 min, 35mm).

When did the Golden Age of the Movie Musical end? With My Fair Lady? West Side Story? Cabaret? Connoisseurs may argue, but most would agree that by 1974 it was dead and stinking. Or was it? This series offers Unsung Musicals from a less precious age when song and dance had a dangerously, daringly tenuous hold on the harmonic, terpsichorean, and celluloid aesthetic. We begin with Xanadu. The word appeared to Samuel Taylor Coleridge in an opium vision: Xanadu. It evokes exotic, faraway lands; a rich man's folly; a masterpiece of cinema. Come see what the fuss is all about.

Posted by jimbo at 10:24 AM | Comments (1)

numerology

Evil comes in threes, annoyance comes in twos, and hot guys are never single. I have two friends who are down in the dumps, most likely due to men and/or the Seattle-like weather here in DC. I have two friends who are freshly broken up. I have two friends who are ooglie-googlie in love. Weird. What's up with two these days? Oooh, and I was bouncing on TWO boobs the other night too! Totally weird. TWO, TWO BOOBS! Ah-Ah-AHHH!

Never read the new D&D gaming enhancement 'The Book of Vile Darkness' right before going to bed. I woke up at 1am quite disturbed from a very vivid dream involving Juiblex, the Faceless Lord of slimes and oozes in the Abyss. Then I woke up with a very bad attitude. I gotta stop reading this shit.

I was spared schlepping out to the Western suburbs' shitty drive today due to the latest and greatest snowstorm in DC. I called the sattellite office in Fairfax and said "Honey, PUH-LEEZ!" and they relented. Happy to be in my local downtown DC office today. It's definitely a treat to work downtown.

I just realized a yearish or so today my life went into utter chaos, ultimately leading to quite a lot of doom. I'll spare you the recap, but it's good to be on my feet. I'm still Jimbo From the Block.

Dumb reckless dork from the rugby team who insisted on dating my ex a mere week after we broke up wants to 'have a talk'. About what? That he's sorry he behaved like an opportunistic scavenger on the Animal Planet channel? As you can see, the arctic jaeger will wait until the penguin chick is alone without its parent. It will move in as soon as possible to feed. I guess I can forgive, but he's proven to be shady and untrustworthy, and people by and large don't change all that much. Plus, my time is better spent 'talking' with those I truly wish to spend time with. Too many guys in the 'gay community' act without fear of accountability by virtue of living in a semi-invisible subculture. Sorry, Jimbo didn't throw out a basic moral code with the bathwater, and doesn't tolerate that shit. Act with patience and decorum, or otherwise don't waste my time.

Posted by jimbo at 10:16 AM | Comments (2)

February 24, 2003

boobhopping

So like we did this circuit training at rugby practice tonight and it's almost Midnight and practice has been over for an hour and I'm like still totally wired and I also took a nap right before practice so like I'm not gonna sleep or anything anyway so one of the stations at our circuit training was like these hemispheres of gymnic balls cut in half so they look like two big boobs coming out of the floor of the gymnasium and you hop from one to the other on one foot and I was like totally good at it from my core body workouts and shit and there's like a TON of guys coming to practice and it looks really good this year and people are already in pretty good shape so I'm really looking forward to our game in two weeks and I hope I don't have to fucking work that day because I'm really psyched to play and since the old scrumhalf hasn't been showing up to practice and he's all flabby anyway so maybe I'll get to be scrumhalf when we play UMBC they're like so fun cuz they're still in college and even though they aren't too woofy they're really cool so it should be fun.

Posted by jimbo at 11:51 PM | Comments (4)

February 23, 2003

braving the elements

Snow, melt, rain, wind...we had it all last week, but hopefully the paralysis in DC is over. I'm WAAAY over people here driving like idiots. The other night I got to get out of my parking spot with Chrisafer and G in tow, right next to a guy in a 4X4 truck who was triflin' over snowbanks that had the consistency of a Slurpee. With my enhanced Wisconsin snow driving skills I virtually levitated my car sideways outta my parking spot and drove away, with the glee of having gloated over the foo' with the monster truck who couldn't handle driving through foam. I may not know where I'm going, but I know how to get there.

Props to Dan Savage yet again for keepin' it real. No, not for defining slutty, but the hard stance on the idiotic practice of bug chasing and irresponsible sex partners. We still have to keep safe, even with improved meds painting such a sunny picture.

I have buckled...Fred Durst is hot. I don't listen to Limp Bizkit, but I pay attention when I see the videos.

Nifty find on Kazaa: Kylie Minouge vs. New Order - Can't Get Blue Monday Outta My Head. JDub: I must take back dissin' yer Justin Timberlake motif. Just watched the N*Sync tribute to the Bee Gees on the Grammys, which rocked.

No core meltdown yet from removal of coolants - passions have returned with the stoppage of antidepressants. No horror or anxiety anymore, but that's come as expected. Contrary to what woofy (but misguided) physician's assistant has said, my moods have not been permanently flushed down the toilet due to rolling in the past. Suprise: it was due to being unemployed! It's interesting to note that I'm laughing out loud again - real out-loud gut-busting laughs just like I used to have. The meds carved out all fluctuations in mood and drive, not just the low ones. I now understand why some who need the meds go off of them. You just want your feelings back again. I'm happy to be back where I am, even with the lows and the highs.

Posted by jimbo at 10:00 PM | Comments (3)

February 21, 2003

more at 11

On deck...there's a beer bar thingy tonight at Windows at 9pm I'll be workin' at. Come on over the beer is cheap and it's fer a good cause. My notes say there'll be some other kinda charity for our team at Titan on Sunday at 8:30, but I won't be there.

Backing up...I had soup in a bowl with Pixie Darling the other day. T'was fun.

And now...meet Matt. Dang it all if he ain't woofy, he's artsy too. He used to play on the rugby team, and one of the rarer artsy alterna-types in town. There aren't many creative types in DC, I must note again.

Moving forward...maybe there'll be rugby practice on Saturday, weather permitting.

One question...what chick/group re-did the dance remix for Garth Brooks' "The Dance"? Me want badly...must do search by artist. Jimbo recommends: 'Point of View' by db boulevard for that ultra-cracked out trancey feel raise yer hands in the air sorta song.

Posted by jimbo at 3:37 PM | Comments (3)

open mouth, insert foot

I was talking about table cells in HTML with my coworkers today, specifically how to force them to maintain a certain width. I emphasized the effectiveness of holding a table cell open using an expanded single pixel transparent .gif by saying:

"OK, cupcake - I'm gonna force your ass open."

At that moment the office budget administrator walked in to give us all a cheerful good morning. I'm hoping she doesn't take my comment out of context, as it was better suited for a script on 'Oz'.

I topped today's swift comment by a mile last week. I was in an office full of our German counterparts, when the topic of the Soviet Victory Day holiday came up. "What's V-Day?" my coworker asked. Not using my 'inside voice', I proclaimed that V-Day was the WWII event where the Soviets and Americans "ganged up and ran over the Germans". Open mouth, insert foot.

Posted by jimbo at 9:55 AM | Comments (8)

February 20, 2003

a talkin' to

Recent scruff and buzzcut pic.

Got a talkin' to at work today about staying on site even when there doesn't appear to be much to do. I do the work and work the hours, but I'm told a presence on site is important even when my coworkers are working far more hours than I think they should. It looks like some parts of my new job may require that I work long and late hours, and I don't like that much. I don't do well without food and sleep, and worry that it's going to get in the way of rugby, which I'm REALLY excited to get back to. I guess the honeymoon period is over, and the real work begins, which may require I put my nose down and hang tight for a while. I'm more like my windsurfing snowboarding brother than I thought, but Bubba says I have to make some sacrifices, so I'd better cuz Bubba said so.

Posted by jimbo at 10:32 PM | Comments (3)

February 19, 2003

ou will all pay for my apin

After a day wandering about the city, watching the locals mill about in the middle of the snow-lined streets like dazed cattle, I went out to JRs to meet up with Pixie, Jon, Seamus, Keith, Josh and I think that's it. Forgive me if I forget who else, or whatever else I said or did. It was fun getting folks from my disparate spheres of friends in one place. There was a blogger, a geek, a dc partigurl, a gay redneck and a furrball in one place.

And I'm gonna start charging now for doing optimized thumbnails for y'all's woofy blogs. There seems to be a demand for it of late.

Posted by jimbo at 8:34 PM

February 17, 2003

ice queens

The weather forced many of us to watch far more TV than normal, and when you don't have cable, the options are even more limited. Like Chrisafer, I watched Hot or Not, and a bit of Joe Millionaire, but couldn't stand to make it to the final. My Hot or Not pic didn't make the final cut - on the show that is. Added note: only one of the male contestants had chest hair! How sad.

Oi, my back! I spent much of the day excavating my car from the driveway, then carving out an access tunnel to the still-uncleared street. Nothing was open today, nor did the Metro work on schedule, so I just messed around the house and relaxed.

Apparently, Chrisafer, Bubbles and Gurl went out an cavorted in the snow. In this photo, Gurl shows her true self as an icy-hearted assassin of evildoers.

Posted by jimbo at 10:10 PM | Comments (3)

February 16, 2003

code white

I got home from work at a somewhat reasonable hour last night, but was too burnt out to do anything when I got home. What made the day tolerable was the engineers from Texas who had come up to install the components on the machine that I am to train operators on. Wes and Billy were two bubbas from Dallas who were Texans all the way - pressed Wranglers, one had a fu like mine, the other a buzzcut and goatee. Mmmm. I think Bubba will be in hog heaven when he moves there.

This morning I got up to quite a coating of snow all over everything. According to weather reports it's just the beginning. It's going to be quite an accumulation. No school tomorrow! I think emergency threat levels have changed from Red to White at this point.

Went to Fado via Metro to rendezvous with the 'Tard, and we started off the day with some Guiness and a heavy Irish breakfast. We watched Scotland vs. Ireland rugby, which was fun, as was the woofy company of a nearby burly, furry North Irish guy that was oh so Jimbo. Later we browsed the shops of Chinatown, including the Kung Fu Gift Shop. It looks like the rest of the day will be spent indoors.

Posted by jimbo at 3:48 PM | Comments (6)

February 14, 2003

Xanadu II

Haven't had enough with Grease II or the upcoming sequel featuring OL-J and Tavolta? Then get ready for Xanadu II. Jimbo will be playing the love child of Muse OL-J and Gene Kelly, coming down to Earth as a half-Muse inspirator to a rugby musical:

The team...where nobody cared to go,
You needed someone to blow,
They call it Xanadu.

The pitch...a place of scrums and mud,
You needed to shed some blood,
Come down to Xanadu.

Chorus:
A million hotties tackling and there you are,
a rugby star.
An everlasting show of masculinity,
eternity.

Xanadu...now we are here. Xanadu...

A lovely hour and a half commute back from Dulles today, and I get to go back tomorrow. Weather permitting, of course. I ain't gonna drive 30mph behind a bunch of terrified locals in a snowstorm. They say I may have to work on Monday as well.

Posted by jimbo at 6:46 PM

"ex"cellent valentine

I met up with Burl (not Gurl) the other night for a few beers, and Burl happened to mention someone he dated who lived with his "ex". We both rolled our eyes simultaneously, and agreed that it's most wise to put up the Red Flag with those boys. While staying in touch with exes is good and important, some never break that vital emotional tie. They are ultimately emotionally unavailable. I know of at least four cases in DC where a friend or former coworker either lives with his "ex" or is dating someone who is living with his "ex". Problems abound in every instance.

The last time I got really excited, I mean head over heels crazy excited for a guy was with Nick. Nick, also formerly a park ranger, was quite the buzzcut schnozalicious furry-butted Italian hottie. He could cook well too. He seemed somewhat sensible at first, albeit a bit older than me, but held his age very well. And you know age is rarely a problem with me.

However, there were a few problems. He already had a stalker, so that pleasure was taken from me. I really frown on competition. He also had an "ex" who lived a block away. He called his "ex" several times a day, and had a standing date every Friday. Now, for the average worker there are only two nights a week where you can get nookie in the evening then cuddle until morning. When one of those nights is already taken by the "ex", it limits nookie time dramatically. It also shows where your priorities are for socializing with others. Could the standing date be moved to, say, Tuesday night with your "ex"?

Nick loved to get riled up, and reveled in the drama of an argument. He could do so with abandon and without repercussion, since the "ex" would always be there in the end. While they didn't have sex, they didn't need to since they could both go their own separate ways in the physical needs department. You could almost have called it an "Exclusively Open Relationship" although neither Nick nor the "ex" would ever admit it.

What was really sad was when I went on a trip with Nick to the beachouse he owned with his "ex". Of course the "ex" was there, as were their group of friends. All the friends spoke of their relationship behind their backs, and it was painfully obvious to everyone but Nick and the "ex" that they were in a relationship. I felt like a total heel for going along with the charade for so long, and am still pissed about it to this day. I have no patience for the self-unaware, and even less for the emotionally weak. Is he really your "ex"? Then move your ass across town and be open to real dating. Today, Nick and his "ex" live together and co-own their own townhouse and beachouse. They both still insist that they aren't in a relationship.

Needless to say, a major red flag of mine during the dating process is continued cohabitation with the "ex"es. More often than not, they really are still in the relationship. Most men don't have the balls to truly separate completely enough under the same roof to truly be emotionally available to others. Kudos to those that claim they can, but be aware that we've all seen it before.

Posted by jimbo at 2:04 PM | Comments (8)

February 13, 2003

a big code red heart 4 u

Oh Joy. I get nervous when my former rugby coach, now a Commander in the Navy at the Pentagon AND a buddy of mine who works for a Senator on the Hill both tell me that tomorrow may not be very pleasant. Rumour has it that prominent legislators are headin' for the hills, and that tomorrow may be a Code Red terror alert. And I get to drive out to fuckin' Dulles on Hwy. 66 to work at a MAIL PROCESSING FACILITY! I'd take a 'Jimbo Day' off if I could. I will be looking for suspicious packages, be assured.

Yesterday I walked home from school with Pixie Darling and got a new bunch of allergy pills with my brand new insurance card. Don held his schoolbooks to his site, resting on his hip, while I clutched my Trapper Keeper to my chest. No, Don, I won't get you any cheap Valium or Oxycontin. I should be watchin' rugby with Tardorama if no shit hits the fan. If it does, stay tuned for a jimbo.info report from the beach, as I'll be outta here faster than you can say 'Rehomo'. The Tribute seats 5 comfortably.

Posted by jimbo at 11:15 PM | Comments (1)

February 12, 2003

doggie quiz results

I should have guessed that the blogger doggie quiz would have degraded into a banal prom dog popularity contest, with Louie as the clear winner. If anyone was actually interested in the blogger doggie quiz results, they are in the Comments section for this entry. NEWS FLASH: Chrisafer correctly pointed out that he won! I guess I skimmed through the comments and answers a bit too fast. Chrisafer guessed three out of six dogs, which as I recall would be a 50% success rate, or a "D-" back in high school. GOOD JOB CHRIS! Schoolmarm Jimbo is disappointed in the rest of you. I expected much better, had you not gotten so wrapped up in popularity contests.

I survived rugby practice on Monday, and didn't even puke! Although I felt like it on several occasions. I'm in much better shape than I thought for this point in time, and I'm pleased to see so many people coming to practice, with so few splotchy white faces. The rest of the 'gurls are in shape too! It felt good to push that hard again, and with purpose. I even got to scrumhalf for a bit, which felt fabulous. Me want to be scrumhalf again! Tonight is another late practice, from 9:30pm to 11pm at Results on the Hill. See you there?

Supa-Woofy Chris from the gym actually came up to me to ask how practice went, and I was actually able to reply in clear and complete sentences without giggling and running away like a big girl. Sadly, he's still playing LaCrosse, and has enough on his plate, so declined my offer to come join us.

I'm going to FadÛ at 11am on Sunday to watch 6 Nations rugby with Les Taricables, which should be fun. Other than that, I'll be chillin' out and trying to catch up on sleep again.

Posted by jimbo at 10:40 AM | Comments (3)

February 10, 2003

whose blog dog?

OK kids, it's time for some fun. Five of the doggie pics below belong to bloggers I link to on the right. One I found on the 'net. See how much of a blogging geek you are by naming the owners of each dog below in the Comments section. The winner gains fame and notoriety. All pictures used without permission, consent or knowledge.

a.)		b.)
c.)		d.)
e.)		f.)

Posted by jimbo at 7:12 PM | Comments (19)

February 9, 2003

rants in small bites

I got back home to DC and had a good workout Saturday and today. This morning I had a nice greasy spoon breakfast with Gurl and also chatted for a Mr. McSpin on the street. His dog is very cute!

I finally got in touch with my beefalicious physician's assistant, who is also Gurl's arch-enemy. I spoke with him about weaning off the antidepressants, which are buggin' me. It's been really hard to tell lately why I've been so unpassionate about almost everything. I don't laugh much, but neither do I get angry or afraid. It's all sorta flatlined across the board. I want my passions back. P.A. is insinuating that it's chemical, but I'm fairly certain it was situational. Being unemployed for ten months in DC will put anyone in a hole. So in a few weeks I'll be off and ready to fire again.

Assorted rants written while sleep-deprivated last week:

When the terrorist threat level is elevated, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Put on a tinfoil hat and board up the windows? And could you please tell us what the threat is, so I can look out for swarthy fellows with coffee cans full of flesh-eating beetles or whatever?

The apparent mouth of our community, the International Gay and LBiTransQueHRCwhatever says I'm supposed to be against the war on ter'r and Iraq. Umm...do any of you know how shitty life is in the 'Stans and Iraq is if you're gay? Think _no concept of being 'out'_. Like it's not an issue. Like there are no gays _here_, they're only in the U.S.. I know these things, I've been there. Like drop a a wall on yer ass if yer caught blowin' someone. And we are the ones violating human rights? I guess by that logic, dropping a wall on a queer is acceptable.

If I could only grant a plane ticket and a one year stay to those that think Communism, Monarchy or Despotism works as a noble and efficient form of government, and that life is really rosy for gays and lesbians all over the world, just like it is in our McGhetto deep in the heart of the city.

Us gurls have it pretty nice here in the U.S., and the quality of life for gays and lesbians in the U.S. is directly proportionate to the stability of our economy, the free flow of ideas, freedom from religious opression, and our exposure to the rest of the world. We are hated as a Nation for many of these things, and the above rights and freedoms must be defended at all costs. These rights are maintained, like a cantankerous photocopier that always breaks. We have a choice to cower from those that hate us for these ideas, or to stand up, be pround and give it back.

I've noticed that I haven't seen any hitchhikers around on the East Coast since I got here 6 years ago. I can't say why. I used to hitchhike in Wisconsin and Alaska. I don't advise hitchhiking in Norway. No one picks you up. Anyhoo, not many life-affirming adventures to tell about it other than the odd characters that would pick you up. I got picked up by a carful of drunk Eskimos, a sorta-lesbian ecofeminist folk singer, a guy who made me drive while he slept and his kid was telling me how his daddy hit him, and the dude with his dentures on the dashboard, floating about in some soupy substance. Then there was the psycho chick with the shivering dachshund in the front seat who gave me the creeps. I passed up on her offer for a ride.

One of my students last week is in a band called the Ass Robots. He gave me a demo CD and everything.

Posted by jimbo at 5:33 PM | Comments (7)

February 7, 2003

navigations

My coworker was out in the hall this evening cooling down from a frustrating training session. It's often hard for us tech trainers to believe that our students can't pick up even the most basic concepts like point-and-click and the idea of a drop-down menu. Bloggers and regular blog readers probably forget how well we navigate the 'net and our computers.

I can see through my students' eyes. The screen is a blur of options, none of them familiar. They can't even find their mouse on the screen. Oh yes, there it is. Now if I could just click it on that arrow...damn, it's so hard to move this thing. What next...click 'OK'. Where is the 'OK' button?

When I get on any computer I immediately start messing around with the desktop, looking through the programs and seeing what I can do. Eventually I'm blogging or writing or programming or designing with it. It is my tool, my Swiss Army Knife for the new millennium.

I had to remind my exasperated coworker that honey, this ain't DC. Here in PA, you graduate high school, get married, get pregnant, and start working - not necessarily in that order. We often take for granted the education level of our peers in the city. I have only one friend that I can think of who does not have an undergraduate degree. Most of my friends have degrees beyond undergraduate. More than a few have a J.D. or a PhD.

But then again, so do my circle of friends from my rural hometown. They all have advanced degrees. I think me and my brothers are the first in the familiy to obtain a Bachelor's Degree of any sort. I didn't even question going to college...I just did it because my brothers and friends did. I wish I could work towards a Master's Degree but I just can't think of anything other than my current vocation that I'm interested in. Sure, I love taking college level classes, but let's wait on that until I have some money to blow.

Congrats to Bubba on the super-timely job offer and acceptance in Houston! RocketMan flies again. Now you can wear your cowboy hat to work!

Posted by jimbo at 8:53 AM | Comments (3)

February 6, 2003

Lexicon Gurlae

Welcome Back Fitz! Thank you for keeping the beard. I didn't even have to loose the hounds on you. Pronto woulda protected you anyway. More on that later...I have a cute idea concerning dogs...

The coworker bailed on snowboarding this morning, and I was OK with that as I didn't get to sleep early enough due to a stuffy nose. Felt like crap this morning as well, but chatted with the 'Tard online.

If you were to be a fly on the wall next to Gurl and I when we go out, you wouldn't understand a thing we were saying. We speak in code. Much of it is based on sci-fi or fantasy, and some of it is our own. Here's our Lexicon Gurlae in brief:

d'nej: hairless
fur'ri: hairy
muh-huh: of poor quality; ghetto
mwuh-huh: of a sexual context
yuan-ti: a serpentine male with an extremely lean, long and attractive torso
silverback: an attractive mature adult human male, usually with greying hair
action figure: a short, muscular male
post office: the bathouse; "I'm going to the post office to pick up some mail."
junk mail, return to sender: he who is avoided at the bathouse
Par Avion: a foreign gentleman at the bath house
no return address: where is she coming from?
mass mailing: orgy at the bathouse
chain letter: slut at the bathouse
'he can mow my lawn': blue collar enough for jimbo; clean cut enough for Gurl
planar shift: to be on drugs
charm person: to hit on someone
Menzoberranzan: Washington, DC
eating in: summoning a trick online to your residence
eating out: going elsewhere to trick

Now we also have code names for individual gay men in The District. Obessions for each of us are referred to numerically, such as "Jimbo's #1". Then there are the unique named folks such as The Husband, Textbook (17th St. Queen), Time Warp, Anubis, Balance Board Boy, Bring Me The Space-Man, The Paladin, Mr. Faithful, Down-to-Earth, and countless others.

I can beat the fuck out of Leo DiCaprio, by RatBastard. RatBastard, you rock.

This is kind of cute: The Guinea Pig Rescue and Adoption site. They recently aided in an expose on poor pet care at Petco. While I think guinea pigs are cute, they just don't fit. Richard Gere had the right idea with gerbils.

Posted by jimbo at 11:20 PM | Comments (4)

February 5, 2003

provincial life

My time in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania has been a daily reminder as to why I moved to DC. Here there are only deeply closeted men or college 'bois', destined to move elsewhere upon graduation. It is obvious that the best, brightest and the cutest have moved to Philly, NYC or DC. It took me 25 years and a self-imposed exile to the gulag on the steppes to realize that factor. I look forward to getting back to my enlightened ghetto in DC.

Before DC, I was living in smaller cities and wasn't meeting the happiest gay men that I could. They were either closeted, limited themselves, or weren't well-educated or travelled. When I was medivaced to DC after a year in Kazakstan, I spent some time exploring the clubs around town. The first ones I visited were Windows and Mr. P's. And yet I stayed. People in DC worked for cool organizations, like the Sierra Club or HRC. Some of them worked on the Hill, and most have been to another country and have advanced degrees. I liked who I was meeting, and I related to them. DC has its faults and it's no cakewalk, but it's the plusses I focus on. I'm sure there is an endearing and sagacious bubba here in Wilkes-Barre somewhere, but I sure ain't stickin' around to find him.

Tomorrow my super-cool coworker Jeff and I will be going to Montage ski resort for a few hours of snowboarding. It rained yesterday and then got very cold, so I'm hoping the snow machines and groomers have been working overtime to rid the slopes of icy spots. I haven't snowboarded in years, but getting up early will be worth it.

Top 10 signs little jimbo was gay:

1. Watching 'Magnum P.I.', 'Matt Houston', and Chicago Cubs games with commentator Steve Stone on a regular basis
2. Knowing a bit too much about dyeing textiles.
3. Not minding watching the Lifetime Channel with Mom
4. Voted "Most Creative" in high school
5. Being such a good little boy in any K-12 class with male teachers, and being a demonchild in any class led by a female teacher
6. Actually going to the school dances to dance
7. Helping the girls in show choir crimp their hair before a performance
8. Following around the star hurdler in high school like a puppy dog
9. Being completely unaware that senior prom was of some importance to my female date
10. Staring at the chest hair poking out over the Phys Ed teacher's tee-shirt

P.S.: I miss you and you and you. Say something...anything, before I call out the hounds! Word.

P.P.S.: Did you know that Joss Whedon wrote the script for the TV sitcom Roseanne before moving on to Buffy? I didn't know that. Jess Cagle is adorable. Definite silverback male hottie movie reviewer.

Posted by jimbo at 5:14 PM | Comments (2)

February 4, 2003

nasty evil holiday

Sounded off my sonar on another blog site and found inspiration to fuel some writing. I'm not the only one who makes a sour puss at the upcoming holiday. It's great when you're dating, but really, really sucks when your relationship is in shambles or if you're single.

However, I think those cheesy valentines we used to pass out at school are cute, even though the Valentine's Day exchange at school was a painful exercise in social heirarchy. I just think those colorful paper tokens are so cute. And I do like those 'Be Mine' candies. And chocolate, yeah, I like chocolate too. And I like little teddy bears.

WAIT! I was writing about how much I hate Valentine's Day! Must...focus...on...hatred. Feel the hatred flow within me. But yesterday this guy shows up at my hotel room in Pennsylvania. At first I mistake the guy for Glennalicious, but realize that it's only Colin Farrell in his Bullseye costume. They are easily mistaken for one another.

Anyway, so Bullseye has thirteen peach roses (a little-known Russian tradition I confided in him a month ago) for me, a teddy bear, and a case of Cadbury Creme Eggs. I invite him into my suite, and I start to feed him the creamy filling from my decapitated chocolate eggs. He suggests we play Daredevil and Bullseye, and I say that's a good idea. So I get my blind lawyer act on and then I...well I'd better stop.

Back on being single. My middle brother is convinced that a relationship and ultimately marriage is the sole key to his happiness. He's never been single for longer than a few months. Needless to say, a recent divorce has been hard on him. On the other hand, my oldest brother seems to be very happy in the pursuit of the lovely ladies. I'm not sure where women stand with him between windsurfing, pot smoking and snowboarding.

I'm somewhere in between. I'm all right being single, especially lately as I've written before. I've seen that relationships are hard, and dating is exhausting. Being Jimbo Solo makes life smoother at times. But in the end, even beyond the physicality, one craves the intimacy.

Children? Bah. I have a cute niece and nephew to shower gifts and attention, and then they can go back to their parents. I'm much too self-centered for child rearing. But it's fun to go out and buy valentines with them.

---

'Bezpredelshik' my Kazak students of English once called me. It means 'without limits'. I'd take that as a nickname if it wasn't so difficult to pronounce.

Last Saturday at Cobalt I walk up to this cutie who may or may not have been hovering near me in order to get my attention. Tight white tee shirt and a really cute smile. I noticed he was drinking some kind of funky martini and asked him what it was. We chat for a while but I was really having fun with my friends and the BHI scan came up rather low anyway. Nothing to grab on to there.

When I get back to the geek gang Gurl interrogates me about the guy and we have our little Sex and the City moment with chatter and critique. He mentions in passing "You are SO not afraid to walk up to people and do that!" "What do I have to lose?" I answer. I have friends, I can get sex, I have money for food. If some guy finds me annoying, too hairy, too smooth, too skinny, too big, too sloppy, too queeny, too butch or whatever, I can't be what he may be looking for. There are too many outside factors to consider rejection as a deterrent in meeting people. In fact, any approach to a stranger is more likely to have no results whatsoever. But you can't let that stop you. If you're really lucky, he may be so paranoid that he gives you a false name, which is entertaining in a way to know that you can threaten someone on such a personal level. Gurl and I love doing investigations, and do so as a pro bono service in exchange for information exchange in the future. Gurl finds weblogs to be the Ninth Wonder of the World in that respect.

Anyhoo, I like meeting people, and I don't have a problem meeting strangers. I wish I could bend the time-space continuum to create more time to meet others and get enough naps to stay cheerful. But grampaw jimbo needs his rest and has to work, and so you are denied my presence.

Posted by jimbo at 7:06 PM | Comments (10)

totally gross

As a frequent sufferer of sinus infections, I find this photo totally unnerving. It's from Yahoo most popular pics. I really don't think the snake appreciates this treatment. Plus, it appears that that little snakey is a garter snake. When upset, garter snakes secrete a foul smelling substance that resembles rotting fish. What if she gets that shit in her sinuses?

Sorry for the flakey blogarrhea content. I'm not quite up to, say, Dogpoet depth in my entries of late. I'm runnin' on a dry spell for personal stories and opinions, so I'll be posting silly pics for a while.

Posted by jimbo at 6:09 PM

jimbo from the block

Be impressed by the rocks that I got
I'm still, I'm still Jimbo from the trailer
Used to have a little, now I have a lot
No matter where I go, I know where I came from (from Wisconsin!)

Can't...get...song...out...of...mind...

My mixing minions are hard at work. We'll have a video and remix for 'Crack is Whack' by the end of the month. Stay tuned.

If anyone knows where the Junior Vasquez remix is that samples 'Crack is Whack' please send me the link. I'd be forever grateful.

OK, OK, I was in high school when the Challenger exploded. My memory is like a sieve. They probably sat us down indian-style back then as well. Yeah, so my venture into high school wrestling was laughable! 150 pounds of bone versus 150 pounds of Dan Kane's muscle...give me a break! If I'd had my druthers I woulda enjoyed my time on the wrestling team a lot more. It was probably the fact that Dan was such a hottie that made me quit so soon. I had to run before a girlish squeal came out when I had to practice with Dan in my weight class.

Silly rabbit, blogs are all about self-obsession! It's all about YOU bro! Birthday hats...since my birthday falls on December 28, I NEVER got a birthday hat with stars on it! And since everyone evacuates DC during that time to go home, it's a ghost town here as well. I think I did get one in 2nd grade when I had to go home early due to a flu...I had to miss the Christmas party, so the teacher, Mrs. White I believe, gave me a care package and a hat. Next year for my 34th birthday all I want is a construction paper crown with stick-on gold stars that says "Happy 34th Birthday Jimbo!". Corey, I'll get you one too, or anytime you want. Let's go out to the Eagle shirtless with our construction paper crowns and leather chaps on and see if we can pick up guys.

So I jump through the Stargate and find that I'm on some kind of alien map. I think it's like our country or something, also featuring Don Tau'ri and a Goa'uld System Lord that I'm separated about one degree from in this town. I recall introducing myself to him once when I was bartending this summer. He used an alias, 'Brian' as I recall. I guess bartenders aren't worthy of knowing his True Name. Bartending is a tragic vocation and you can't trust any of them, you know, no matter what your situation.

Posted by jimbo at 4:30 PM | Comments (2)

crack is whack

Finally, at long last I found the Rosetta Stone of current pop tragedy...the Diane Sawyer trainwreck interview with Whitney Houston:

First of all, let's get one thing straight. Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight. Okay? We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is whack.

I want to hear that final three sentences mixed into a dance track at Nation before I die. Can you please do it? I will beg if I have to. I can just imagine that phrase repeated over and over with a heavy house rhythm...it'll be the newest and bestest Whitney dance tune of 2003. The video clip is there for your mixing pleasure.

I found a website featuring the fabulous Gobbler Motel of Wisconsin. I vaguely recall visiting there and sitting at the rotating cocktail bar. Was it all a dream? Mother, were we there?

Back in PA this week, with a gaggle of new fun coworkers. The drive is a drag, and it's kinda gray here. I learned via blog that I missed seeing a dear friend of mine who was back on Saturday from Alaska. Just missed him! I'm kinda bummed that people often come and go in DC, but that's the way this town works. It doesn't stop me from getting to know new people, but it's tough when they move away. A new inductee into our D&D group may be leaving for NYC in May, and we'll be sad to see him go.

Posted by jimbo at 2:17 AM | Comments (5)

February 2, 2003

sign 'o the times

I got in at a reasonable time yesterday after a long drive from PA. Along the way we listened to the radio reports about the Columbia disaster. Just that morning during breakfast CNN was reporting the expected landing. It's a sad thing indeed. I remember when they sat us all down in fifth grade, indian-style, to watch the news about the Challenger explosion. No real explanation about it was given when they had us watch it, but I recall the Prince lyrics from the track 'Sign 'o the Times':

It's silly, no?
When a rocket ship explodes and everybody still wants 2 fly
But some say a man ain't happy unless a man truly dies
Oh why?

I say it's still worth it in the end, and that we continue with the program. Losses are sad, but expected, and it's good to go on with higher things especially with events going on as they are on the ground.

We played another unfocused round of D&D with the gang, catty remarks flying to and fro. Many were from my now-evil half-sister Vonnie, who seems to have developed quite a tounge. Afterwards we went out for a few and some dancing. Apologies for any drunken misspellings on my late night e-mails with juicy attachments.

Did a full-body workout today with some sprinting, and I'm mighty tired from it. Hopefully some of the slush will melt away for my next trip this week up in PA so I can do some running. Time to pack again.

Oh yeah, Happy Woodchuck Day!

Posted by jimbo at 6:08 PM | Comments (5)