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January 10, 2003

police blow away dog

This morning on the Today show I watched a disturbing video and interview of the Smoak family about how they got roughed around and their dog blown away by a shotgun. Apparently the police thought the fat, Basset hound-legged dog "looked like a pit bull ready to attack." The poor thing was waddling around and wagging its tail, so the officer blew it away at point blank range to eliminate the threat. Looks like some group of county and highway patrol officers are suffering from some severe post 9-11 overfunding and gung-ho attitude. I hope they get canned. Hmm...the Cookeville police site is down...I wonder why? You can give the Cookeville area highway patrol a call if you like, however...the non-emergency number is on the second link.

Love at First Sight. You Are My Density. You Had Me On 'Hello'. Yeah, I joke a lot about how 'I (heart) Chris' (or Don or Dogpoet or Jennie) but I'm mostly just kidding. I'm having many friends tell me lately about how other guys they are dating tend to want to move in and marry after the first date. Grow up, kiddies, it takes time. I've seen too many hasty move-ins or those who find they've moved in and have been together for ten years, only to realize there was nothing there but the pursuit of security. I, for one, will run away screaming if you tell me you love me on the first date. Blurting it out during the height of passion is understandable, but not over dinner on the first (through tenth) date.

In the defense of the hasty, I remember when I wanted to settle down ASAP immediately after coming out. The thinking was "Now that I'm done coming out, I'm going to find the Perfect Man and settle down and live happily ever after." Well, I wasn't done coming out, and there is no such thing as the Perfect Man.

On a canoe trip in the Boundary Waters one of my friends, an organic beef cattle farmer named Mary, said to me "It's OK to have an idea of the perfect man, but you may have to accept 60% of that idea in reality." Too true. Either people spend too much time being single in search of perfection, or they try to mold their partners into perfection. An attempt was once made to mold me, and the result was rebellion and resentment. Accept me as I am, the good and the bad.

Anyhoo, it took a while for me to be fully comfortable with coming out. I'll have to say the process is ongoing, not a point in time. Your sexuality is a dynamic thing, and when you jump into a relationship before exploring your sexual self, you're in for trouble.

And there are far more complexities to a relationship and dating than you think, especially when you were never a practicing dater in college or high school. Many of us come out completely bereft of any relationship or dating skills, and are often well into our late 30's by the time we get it right. It takes experience, growth and personal maturity to be completely open to the idea of a relationship.

Gurl was in the midst of some pillow talk with a friend the other day. Gurl's guest admitted that he'd never been faithful to his lover, and admitted it was mainly due to having never been a practicing single slut for long. Too many go for the comforting womb of a relationship far too quickly, in lieu of exploration of the self and the other. It pays to play the field, as long as you don't get too used to it. Being single is OK, a relationship complements you, it doesn't complete you.

So to all you kiddies out there looking for Mr. Right: chill the hell out, accept Mr. Right Now, but keep your eyes open for Mr. Pretty Good. Then be ready for some compromise, learning and change.

Lunch today with Don, then I'll be watching the 4-hour director's cut of Xanadu at Chrisafer's later tonight. We'll be trippin' on the OL-J, aww yeah.

Posted by jimbo at January 10, 2003 12:15 PM

Comments

Posted by: mike s. at January 10, 2003 12:32 PM

Posted by: donald at January 10, 2003 2:58 PM

Posted by: jimbo at January 10, 2003 3:03 PM

Posted by: jimbo at January 10, 2003 3:44 PM

Posted by: DB at January 11, 2003 12:00 AM

Posted by: Chrisafer at January 11, 2003 12:26 AM

Posted by: Gilbert at January 11, 2003 11:29 AM

Posted by: usuredo at January 11, 2003 5:25 PM

Posted by: Charlie Greer at January 18, 2003 1:48 AM