« favre de grace | Main | superfreak »

January 8, 2003

lessons in PR

You expect me to believe that a woman who can't manage her damaged hair can clone human DNA? She can't even get her dye job right, how can I picture her dealing with micro-pipettes, cell walls and spectroscopes? And look at those ROOTS! Honey, stop your silly cult activities and geneticist wanna-be motions and please, for God's sake, go visit a salon and get that taken care of. Some teeth whitening is in order too.

Missus Truvy is going to a circuit party! I see you're volunteering the requisite amount of guilt about going to one. Don't worry, child, that's one thang I don't judge too harshly. Well, OK, I'll share some thoughts:

  • Oooh, the guilty pleasures of the circuit party. Everyone bitches about them, yet no one goes to them. I actually heard one hypermasculine NoVA resident state that he was going to a "fund-raising event" one weekend on a certain date in a certain town, a date and town that I knew was for a particularly popular circuit party. In standard NoVA protocol, he couldn't admit he was going to attend a "gay community event" or god forbid, a "circuit party". Honey, you're a big 'ol queen, you're going to crack out amongst thousands of hotties, and you're going to rip your shirt off and put your hands in the air. Just say so, OK?
  • Circuit parties are the most overrated event villified by critics within and without the community. Sure, it's a piggy crack fest, but it's only a small percentage of the community that's doing the stuff. It's the same people over and over again. The rest of us are shopping at the Rhode Island, NW Giant and Homo Depot on Saturday nights. And honey, they may be pretty, but most of them ain't all that. Just check out the cars in the parking lot at Nation. Chevettes, Festivas and Civics, OK? Most of the money's going up the nose. In the words of the Wise and Powerful Gurl: "It's the 'Leather Float' phenomenon - no one's going to write about how Jimbo and Gurl watch Enterprise every Wednesday and play Dungeons and Dragons. They're going to write about and film the leather float in the Pride parade and the glamorous jet-setting circuit boys." Most of us are neither, but we get the least amount of press, photos and editorial space.
  • I think it's also a matter of Sour Grapes. Here's a bunch of pretty people having quite a good time (I know I have) every weekend. It pisses people off. They're having more fun than you did at Home Depot on Saturday night. Then again, they often have addictions to deal with, and didn't get their bathrooms remodeled over the weekend either. There are serious trade-offs. Like my former coworker Mary, cofather of Agnes the Bulldog of Joy said: "Drugs are fun, but nothing good ever comes of it." That's the most practical thing I've heard since the foolish reign of Nancy Regan.
  • Tina. Don't hate circuit parties, hate Tina. She's going to become a problem. Well, she already is. I've seen too many people get eaten up, and only a few make it out alive. She goes to circuit parties too, and has eaten up too many asses already. I'm tired of seeing saggy jeans where asses used to be. I want to see butts again! Plus, she's affected the music at clubs as well. It used to be happier before Tina. Now it's more intense, more pots and pans, less soul, less groove. Hard to explain, but true.

    Posted by jimbo at January 8, 2003 10:58 AM

    Comments

    Thanks Jimbo - I've processed the requisite guilt and resigned myself to shallow goals, like I said. I agree w/ you on T - she's a bitch & should be avoided. However, even if I liked her, there's not much chance of her eating my ass - it's a beefy thing that's here to stay ;)
    I'm sure I'll have fun, if I can just convince one of my LA friends to go with me. If not, I'll probably still go but with lowered expectations.
    As for my other weekends, I've spents LOTS of them in the Homo Depot and the local hardware, not to mention even more mundane things like just doing the laundry and cleaning the house. Sounds pedestrian, but it gives me a sense of accomplishment, order & serenity.
    That being said, I fully intend to "crack out" with the best of them in LA - woo hoo - let's hear it for piggy stress release!

    Posted by: Rob at January 8, 2003 11:22 AM

    Rock on Truvy...and good rundown of the parties, Jimbo. You're dead on. Have you thought about writing a Gay Guy's Guide to Real Gay Life? You should.

    Posted by: Beau at January 8, 2003 11:37 AM

    wordy mcword jimbo...

    i've always found the biggest critics of circuit parties are those who have never been to one.

    bob and I went to both the Morning Party (FI) and the Winter Party (Miami) and had fun...hot boys, good music. what's the big deal?

    Posted by: mike s. at January 8, 2003 1:02 PM

    Hey Jimbo, love the analysis of circuit parties. I used to be there. Great fun for a lot but unfortunately, most don't know when to say when.

    Posted by: tim at January 8, 2003 11:51 PM

    c'mon jimbo whats the big deal if you shit your pants at a club now and then....and pass out puking...and your parents have to come get you (and you are in your 40's) its really cool man...besides, wake up, change your pants, thank mommy for retreiving you and head back to the party! circuit parties are fun..lots of weak minded guys so my jedi mind tricks work really well.....

    Posted by: GURL at January 9, 2003 3:29 PM

    Circuit parties, raves, ambush parties - all ghosts of their former shimmering selves..somewhat like those who still attend these events.

    Right Now? It's the 'let's-keep-it-a-secret', dancing focussed, after-after-after party scene for me. Uncut, pure & strong. All the angst goes into simply finding the place.

    Posted by: sean at January 9, 2003 4:15 PM

    I'm tired of people who are think they are too good for circuit parties. Big deal, people do drugs - they're not hurting anyone other than themselves. Like you said, people are probably just jealous since they're not having as much fun. Conversely, they're not the best thing out there either, but then again nothing really is. I go and have a fun time, all without drugs - yes, it can be done.

    Posted by: Michael at January 11, 2003 12:58 AM

    Spot on about tina fucking up the music.

    Posted by: sam at January 11, 2003 3:22 AM