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January 23, 2003

hcl at 33: still da bomb

Honey Sweetie Darling: you are so wrong about the vanity and age thing. I never bought into it when I was 20, and I still don't. The game is there to play, if you choose to play it I guess. Otherwise, we'd all be happier if we kept the "Ageopoly" bored game in the closet where it belongs. Here's what it all means: you're 33, which means you're more experienced than tha twinks; your hairline is receding, a definite turn-on for many, including jimbo; you're muscular as opposed to skinny - it shows perserverence and discipline; and you have a job that pays four times more than what they do. Gurl, be proud of your Daddyhood! You have more than a few more 'Get Into Circuit Party Free' cards left! Take Bubba or Dogpoet for example, who just keep getting hotter and hotter as the grey hairs on their chins multiply.

Ageism and the enchantment with eternal youth is one of the things that we need to work on in the gay community. It never bothered me as I'm finally approaching an time where I'm the same age as those I have always and always will desire. I want a MAN, not a boy, and I'm excited to be 33. I want a man with experience, chest hair, a stable life and a stable mind. What I do not want is a mercurial, juvenile, itinerant and unstable larva who's smooth as a cue ball.

What bothers me the most is that I think many young gay men do not and will not visualize themselves positively in 20 to 40 years. It's a visualization that needs to be done in a forward-thinking way. You can't imagine a projection of yourself as the tired old thing hanging desperately on to youth and the end of the bar with skin care products and A&F clothing that no longer suits you. You are more than that, and you will get better over time. I think since so many young gay men think aging is a tragedy, it is one reason barebacking has become so popular of late. It's a form of suicide - they don't think they'll be happy as an old gay man so they make sure they never get there, as quickly as possible with as much pleasure along the way before the end.

Not jimbo. Jimbo sees himself in 30 years wearing flip-flops and working in the garden with an extra-large pair of shorts on. I'll have one hell of a rhino-butt, no doubt, but that's what happens when we're that old. I'll have an old dog, and maybe an old man who's my partner who I rarely have sex with but love deeply, and have been for years. We'll argue and bicker, and he obsesses about the house while I obsess about the garden. We have many friends who we do low-key things with. We go to Florida, or maybe even Europe if we've got the energy for it. I will have a slight limp from a decade or more of rugby playing, but am still in touch with my gay rugby club which is now 30 years old. I'm still out and in touch with my relatives and my old friends, and I'm looking forward to 70 and maybe even 90.

Posted by jimbo at January 23, 2003 1:08 PM

Comments

Posted by: dogpoet at January 23, 2003 1:41 PM

Posted by: jimbo at January 23, 2003 2:51 PM

Posted by: Bubba at January 23, 2003 4:39 PM

Posted by: Sparky at January 23, 2003 4:52 PM

Posted by: Rob at January 24, 2003 2:43 PM

Posted by: Bubba at January 27, 2003 11:41 AM