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January 23, 2003
hcl at 33: still da bomb
Honey Sweetie Darling: you are so wrong about the vanity and age thing. I never bought into it when I was 20, and I still don't. The game is there to play, if you choose to play it I guess. Otherwise, we'd all be happier if we kept the "Ageopoly" bored game in the closet where it belongs. Here's what it all means: you're 33, which means you're more experienced than tha twinks; your hairline is receding, a definite turn-on for many, including jimbo; you're muscular as opposed to skinny - it shows perserverence and discipline; and you have a job that pays four times more than what they do. Gurl, be proud of your Daddyhood! You have more than a few more 'Get Into Circuit Party Free' cards left! Take Bubba or Dogpoet for example, who just keep getting hotter and hotter as the grey hairs on their chins multiply.
Ageism and the enchantment with eternal youth is one of the things that we need to work on in the gay community. It never bothered me as I'm finally approaching an time where I'm the same age as those I have always and always will desire. I want a MAN, not a boy, and I'm excited to be 33. I want a man with experience, chest hair, a stable life and a stable mind. What I do not want is a mercurial, juvenile, itinerant and unstable larva who's smooth as a cue ball.
What bothers me the most is that I think many young gay men do not and will not visualize themselves positively in 20 to 40 years. It's a visualization that needs to be done in a forward-thinking way. You can't imagine a projection of yourself as the tired old thing hanging desperately on to youth and the end of the bar with skin care products and A&F clothing that no longer suits you. You are more than that, and you will get better over time. I think since so many young gay men think aging is a tragedy, it is one reason barebacking has become so popular of late. It's a form of suicide - they don't think they'll be happy as an old gay man so they make sure they never get there, as quickly as possible with as much pleasure along the way before the end.
Not jimbo. Jimbo sees himself in 30 years wearing flip-flops and working in the garden with an extra-large pair of shorts on. I'll have one hell of a rhino-butt, no doubt, but that's what happens when we're that old. I'll have an old dog, and maybe an old man who's my partner who I rarely have sex with but love deeply, and have been for years. We'll argue and bicker, and he obsesses about the house while I obsess about the garden. We have many friends who we do low-key things with. We go to Florida, or maybe even Europe if we've got the energy for it. I will have a slight limp from a decade or more of rugby playing, but am still in touch with my gay rugby club which is now 30 years old. I'm still out and in touch with my relatives and my old friends, and I'm looking forward to 70 and maybe even 90.
Posted by jimbo at January 23, 2003 1:08 PM
Comments
Amen.
But um, I honestly don't have any gray hairs yet. And I don't think I'm in denial over it or anything. Or maybe you were just trying to make a metaphorical point and I need to just shut up and drink my metamucil.
xo
Posted by: dogpoet at January 23, 2003 1:41 PM
Can I imagine you with grey hairs on your goatee anyway? And don't forget your Depends.
Posted by: jimbo at January 23, 2003 2:51 PM
Ummm..."multiplying" implies a rate of growth that sounds a little exponential for me right now. I guess....maybe. More gray than I care to admit is what I'm trying to say.
Gotta agree with ya though...some men do just look better with age and take on a whole new degree of sexiness.
Glad to know I'm in the jimbo.info definition of "hot".
Bubba
Posted by: Bubba at January 23, 2003 4:39 PM
I'm with you all the way, J. I'm all for guys who show some of the signs of an interesting life of character development already under their belts. And so many of us (for example, me) really come into our own as we get older, wiser, more confident, and less awkward. Besides, I'm a sucker for a little greying around the temples.
Posted by: Sparky at January 23, 2003 4:52 PM
Can I hear an A-MEN brother?!
HCL is all that and a bag of barbecue baked lays, Dogpoet too & now I have to go read Bubba.
Posted by: Rob at January 24, 2003 2:43 PM
Rob,
Hope you enjoyed the visit.
Bubba
Posted by: Bubba at January 27, 2003 11:41 AM