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December 17, 2002

standard man-hating blog entry

1:30am, can't sleep due to shifting my sleep patterns to noctournal. And I'm really pissed off. I need to look at the small print in my ICUII contract for the "Men Are Pigs" refund clause. Definitely taking a break from that program and online chat in general. Since I've begun to try and start dating again, I'm constantly reminded at how shitty dating can be. I've forgotten quite a lot about that.

I find it fascinating that guys with boyfriends have so much time to flirt online, and seem to forget to mention that they have boyfriends during hours of chatting. Shouldn't the revelation that a guy has a boyfriend come before sending four different cum shots?

And he has the gall to infer that I am a player. I'll have you know I was the best boyfriend I could be for two and a half years. I did not cheat. Gurl can attest to that as she got high on the popper fumes of temptation coming from my glands that night at Atlas as Mr. Deep Masculine Voice told me all the things he wanted to do to me. Weak in the knees, for sure, but I resisted.

The Devil Himself sent the Four Woofers of Jimbo's Apocolypse to tempt me on the eve of the MAL Dungeon Dance two years ago. But I was strong. Alone, all by myself, and no one would have known. Daddy wanted me, Hairy Chest Hunk in a Harness ogled me, Beefasaurus adored me, and Mr. Blonde Corn Fed asked to come home with me even when I was leaving the door of Nation that night. Drunken rugby parties, a handsome man in Manchester, come hither looks in the locker rooms. I was a very good boy for two and a half years.

But now I'm single, and will play how I want. But I'm honest about what I want, which is often more than some can handle, and far more than what most can give. I expect a lot from myself, but it seems that as long as I expect so little from people, I'm probably going to be angry for a long time.

But you gotta learn from all the pigs you meet, or else you let them take a piece away from you every time. Here's a chronological history of what I've taken from them, from past to present (c.1990-2002):

- Gary taught me it can take a decade for a man to come out of the closet.
- Dave taught me that married bi men lie - a lot.
- Kurt taught me about romance and feelings.
- Sigurd taught me about kindness.
- Ed taught me that even gay men can have horrible taste (black laquer furniture and "romantic" Narada cassettes).
- Carter taught me the importance of playing safe.
- Trevor taught me it's OK to be fabulous.
- Rick and Jonathan taught me not to fall for straight men.
- Leonard taught me that some straight men are interested...
- Greg taught me to stay clear of coke addicts who gamble.
- Pat taught me that rugby players can be cool about homos.
- Tom taught me about kink.
- Roger taught me that some men do not have a soul.
- Hugh taught me about betrayal.
- Sam taught me that some gay men hate themselves.
- Gil taught me that some men can't say goodbye.
- Keith taught me that smooth men can be fun too, but Princessness will not be tolerated.
- Todd taught me that I can make men cry.
- Larry taught me that being drunk on a first date is pretty pathetic.
- Scott taught me how to dress to kill.
- Kerry taught me how much men can have sex in a week.
- Rob taught me how drugs can flush your life down the toilet.
- Bob taught me how sad addiction can be.
- Dwayne taught me that some men live in their own fantasies.
- Tim taught me why messing around with coworkers is wierd.
- Nick taught me to avoid men who still live with or near their 'ex' boyfriends.
- Billy taught me that it's all about The Wedding, and not about the marriage.
- John taught me why some guys hang around the rugby team, but don't play much.
- Bubba taught me that starched shirts can be sexy...
- Michael taught me that you can come back from the edge.
- Steven taught me how much I've learned.
- Jim taught me that perfectly intelligent men playing blonde can be very unattractive.
- Jeff taught me not to trust any men under 25.

And you wonder why I need to play rugby again after being away for so long?

Posted by jimbo at December 17, 2002 2:13 AM

Comments

Posted by: mike s. at December 17, 2002 10:05 AM

Posted by: Chrisafer at December 17, 2002 10:35 AM

Posted by: Rob at December 17, 2002 11:18 AM

Posted by: Bubba at December 17, 2002 12:24 PM

Posted by: Monkey at December 19, 2002 11:44 PM